Whoops! All Quizster, Part One: The Gang Reunites

Summary

Ridiculous History – Episode Summary

Podcast Information:

• Title: Ridiculous History
• Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
• Description: History is beautiful, brutal, and often ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.
• Episode: Whoops! All Quizster, Part One: The Gang Reunites
• Release Date: December 17, 2024

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Introduction and Host Banter

The episode opens with Ben Bolin welcoming listeners back to Ridiculous History, expressing gratitude towards their producer, Mr. Max Williams.

• Ben Bolin [00:00]: "Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome back to the show Ridiculous Historians."

Noel Brown interjects humorously, setting a lighthearted tone for the episode.

• Noel Brown [00:35]: "Bah, humbug."

The hosts engage in playful banter about watching multiple versions of "A Christmas Carol," hinting at their interest in Scrooge-related discussions.

• Ben Bolin [00:35]: "I had a great conversation about the word humbug because get this, I watched for some reason three versions of A Christmas Carol of the Dickens story in a row."

Introducing the Nemesis: Jonathan Strickland

The hosts introduce their recurring nemesis, Jonathan Strickland, also known as the Quister. His role as a quirky antagonist adds a dynamic element to the show.

• Ben Bolin [02:02]: "We have finally returning after quite some time here at the end of the year, we have the man, the myth, the legend, Jonathan Strickland, AKA the Quister."

Noel Brown humorously likens Jonathan to a "demonic force" from "Twin Peaks," emphasizing his enigmatic presence.

• Noel Brown [02:03]: "Jonathan is a bit of a red room type figure. He's sort of like a demonic force that exists between worlds."

The Quiz Segment: Norse Mythology Showdown

The core of the episode centers around a quiz segment orchestrated by Jonathan Strickland. He presents four scenarios related to Norse mythology, one of which is fabricated. The challenge for Ben and Noel is to identify the fake story.

Scenario Presentations

1. Scenario 1: Ullr, the God of Snow

   • Jonathan Strickland [15:36]: "Of all the gods in the Norse pantheon, only one was known to carve. Pau. Yes, Ulr was the God of snow and the patron saint of skiers..."
   • Ben Bolin [16:03]: "He's got his own line of weed."

2. Scenario 2: Leif Ormson and King Lear

   • Jonathan Strickland [17:03]: Details about Leif Ormson, whose story supposedly inspired Shakespeare's King Lear.

3. Scenario 3: Njall's Saga

   • Jonathan Strickland [18:43]: An epic tale of male fragility and vengeance leading to catastrophic confrontations.

4. Scenario 4: Volund, the Artisan

   • Jonathan Strickland [20:16]: The story of Volund, a mythical artisan who retaliates against a greedy king by crafting gruesome jewelry from the king's sons.

Deliberation and Guessing

Ben and Noel deliberate over the authenticity of each scenario, questioning the plausibility of Vikings engaging in skiing and weaving through the elaborate narratives presented by Jonathan.

• Noel Brown [30:10]: "It's true. I did immediately question the idea of skiing in that era."

• Ben Bolin [32:19]: "Well, we just ran out of time. So, 3, 2, 1."

Reveal and Outcome

Jonathan reveals that Scenario 2, concerning Leif Ormson and the connection to King Lear, is the fabricated story. Contrary to their guesses, Scenario 1 about Ullr is authentic.

• Jonathan Strickland [33:00]: "Yes, that’s the game. Now I feel... you got it so wrong. Ullr is in fact the patron saint of skiers."

• Noel Brown [33:10]: "I was going to posit that it was the actual origin story of the very first Thanksgiving."

Post-Quiz Discussions: Vikings Reimagined

Following the quiz, the hosts delve into a discussion about Norse mythology, challenging the commonly held perceptions of Vikings as solely aggressive raiders. Jonathan shares a narrative illustrating Vikings' misunderstood benevolence.

• Jonathan Strickland [35:09]: "The Vikings would go on these raids where they would look for peoples that were worse off than themselves and then find ways to improve their well-being..."

He recounts a story where Vikings attempt to assist a struggling village by improving agricultural practices, only to be misinterpreted and chased away.

• Jonathan Strickland [37:04]: "We did. I tried one from the mid-90s..."

This segment aims to highlight alternative viewpoints of historical Viking activities, emphasizing cultural and linguistic misunderstandings.

Teasers for Future Episodes

As the episode concludes, Jonathan teases that he will reveal the true reason behind his animosity in the next episode. The hosts express a mix of skepticism and anticipation.

• Jonathan Strickland [51:26]: "I will reveal what got me so angry in the next episode also."

• Noel Brown [51:41]: "Thank the sweet Lord of Light and our attention spans."

Notable Quotes

• Ben Bolin [29:52]: "The third one was the longest."

• Noel Brown [33:15]: "I think it's a Venn diagram. Not all skiers are douchebags, but all douchebags are skiers. Boom."

• Jonathan Strickland [35:15]: "That's too obvious. That makes me think. No, no, no. That's too soon. It's too soon. We gotta stretch this out."

• Noel Brown [49:08]: "I was going to posit that it was the actual origin story of the very first Thanksgiving."

Conclusion

Whoops! All Quizster, Part One: The Gang Reunites successfully blends humor, historical trivia, and engaging storytelling. The interplay between Ben, Noel, and their nemesis Jonathan Strickland provides an entertaining exploration of Norse mythology, challenging listeners to reconsider preconceived notions of history's more notorious figures.

Listeners are left eagerly anticipating the next episode, where further revelations about Jonathan’s motives and additional quizzes promise to add more layers to this dynamic history saga.

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For More Episodes: Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or your preferred podcast platform to listen to more episodes of Ridiculous History and dive into the most bizarre tales from human civilization.

Transcript

[Ben Bolin]

Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome back to the show Ridiculous Historians. As always, we want to thank our super produce producer, Mr. Max Williams.

[Noel Brown]

Bah, humbug.

[Ben Bolin]

Yes, it's funny. You're Noel Brown. I've been bolin. I had a great conversation about the word humbug because get this, I watched for some reason three versions of A Christmas Carol of the Dickens story in a row.

[Noel Brown]

Why would you have done this to yourself, Ben?

[Ben Bolin]

Because, you know, I get in situations.

[Noel Brown]

Are you, Are you okay?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Time, gentlemen.

[Ben Bolin]

That's right.

[Noel Brown]

Didn't even let us get through our Scrooge discussion, man.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Oh, Scrooge, Scrooge. Oh, I love that. He used to be cool. Oh, man, he and I, man, we had such good times.

[Ben Bolin]

That is. That is the big secret we wanted to reveal to you folks. Long time ridiculous historians. You know that we have a nemeses on this show. Well, we have several. There's Cheryl Crow.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Sure.

[Noel Brown]

Well, I thought we made up with Cheryl.

[Ben Bolin]

Yeah, yeah, we have a ceasefire with Cheryl Crow. We also have finally returning after quite some time here at the end of the year, we have the man, the myth, the legend, Jonathan Strickland, AKA the Quister. No. You and I have spent a lot of time over 2024 talking about this.

[Noel Brown]

Guy, teasing his return.

[Ben Bolin]

Yes.

[Noel Brown]

Is this like Twin Peaks? The Return?

[Ben Bolin]

That's fire. Walk with me, Fire.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Leave me alone. More.

[Noel Brown]

Jonathan is a bit of a red room type figure. He's sort of like a demonic force that exists between worlds.

[Jonathan Strickland]

All I have to say is. Wow, Bob.

[Noel Brown]

Wow, Carmen Bozia. Indeed, sir.

[Ben Bolin]

Yeah, that gum you like is going to come back in style.

[Noel Brown]

Never left.

[Ben Bolin]

Never left. Still here. And so has the Quister. Never left. Always here. Here in spirit. At the. Yeah. At the end of the year, we decided. Well, I say decided. We came to you hats in hand and asked if you would grace us or curse us with your presence.

[Noel Brown]

Which one's the spooky ghost in A Christmas Carol? Is that Christmas Future? Yeah, you're a bit of a Ghost of Christmas Future type figure.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Jacob Marley is pretty darn spooky. He's the one who tells Scrooge he'll be cast in chains for all eternity.

[Noel Brown]

Dead by dawn. Yeah.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Also. Also Ghost of Christmas Present has the two really freaky children, ignorance and want.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah. Oh, geez, you're going from the. The original source material. I'm thinking more Scrooged kind of interpretation.

[Ben Bolin]

Scrooge is a classic. I'm saving Scrooge toward the end of the year, which Three.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Did you watch, by the way, this is important.

[Ben Bolin]

There was one from 1938 which was way closer to the Dickensian source. Ma. There was one from the 70s, and I'm sure there's an actor that I should know by name there, but. And then there was one from like. I wanted to get a taste, you guys. I wanted a Flight of Christmas Carols, so I. I tried one from the mid-90s.

[Noel Brown]

I'll tell you what a good one is that I kind of forgot about is A Muppet Christmas Carol with Michael Caine.

[Jonathan Strickland]

It's the very.

[Ben Bolin]

So straight.

[Noel Brown]

Is he ever the Muppets? It really works.

[Jonathan Strickland]

They have two Jacob Marley's and I hate that Marley and Marley. It's just. Oh, I hate it with all that.

[Noel Brown]

But they have a whole musical number. It's cute.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes, I know. I watched a burlesque number set to it just the other day.

[Noel Brown]

Do you also hate fun and Christmas parties? Presents?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Have you not met me?

[Noel Brown]

Yeah, it's been a minute.

[Jonathan Strickland]

All right, so were any. Ben, were any of the musicals you watched or any other Scrooges you watched? Musicals? That's what I need to know.

[Ben Bolin]

The. Oddly enough, no.

[Jonathan Strickland]

So the 19. That's why I was asking, because I was thinking the 1970s one could possibly have been Scrooge the Musical, which is my favorite interpretation of A Christmas Carol.

[Noel Brown]

Now, is that based on the stage production of A Christmas Carol that's so popular around the holidays?

[Jonathan Strickland]

I believe it's. It's independent of any of the. I know that there have been staged versions that use some of the same songs from Scrooge the Musical. That's the one.

[Noel Brown]

I'm having a hard time remembering whether the Christmas Carol that I know from my youth that always would come around every year. Was it a musical or was it just a dialogue driven?

[Jonathan Strickland]

The one I love had Obi Wan Kenobi as Jacob Marley.

[Ben Bolin]

All right, do the song.

[Jonathan Strickland]

What the song I like is. The song is the. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me.

[Max Williams]

Small business owners. This one's for you. Chase for Business and Iheart bring you a podcast series called the Unshakeables. This one of a kind series will shine the spotlight on small business owners like you who faced a do or die moment that ultimately made their business what it is today. Learn more at chase.com business/podcast Chase. Make more of what's yours. Chase mobile app is available for select mobile devices. Message and data rates may apply. JPMorgan Chase Bank NA member FDIC Copyright 2024 JP Morgan Chase & Co.

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[Jonathan Strickland]

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[Noel Brown]

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[Jonathan Strickland]

That'S the that's the big one at.

[Ben Bolin]

The I did not know you were.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Going to say is the song done at the end? The song is done at the end where all the people have come to together to celebrate Scrooge's death. It's when he's seeing the future. But Scrooge Scrooge hasn't figured out that he's dead in this future. He thinks everyone really likes him. So it's this juxtaposition of joy.

[Noel Brown]

It's a Sixth Sense kind of situation.

[Jonathan Strickland]

So it's so beautiful. It's such a joyous song about someone having kicked the bucket. Not that I can draw any corollaries to things that are happening right now, but certainly I've seen it.

[Noel Brown]

Is this. When is Tiny Tim also deceased in this scenario?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Rio? Yes. In that version, yes. Tiny Tim is six feet under in.

[Noel Brown]

That he succumbed to the condition.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes. He died from congenital tininess.

[Ben Bolin]

Oh yeah. It's a tragedy. And it may seem a small tragedy, but it is. Cause we're supporting.

[Jonathan Strickland]

It's a. It's. It's a very short tragedy.

[Ben Bolin]

Yes, yes. And this is a short lived bit. You could tell folks we have some big end of the year energy. We're playing fast and loose with this.

[Noel Brown]

Fast and furious too.

[Ben Bolin]

Fast and furiously loose, which is how my doctor describes. Never mind. So we are.

[Noel Brown]

We're going to reckon he's.

[Ben Bolin]

I don't know if he's a real doctor. You know, let's just.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Can we just Tokyo drift into the quiz part, please?

[Ben Bolin]

This is the thing.

[Noel Brown]

Wait, we gotta fill some more time. Jonathan, come on.

[Ben Bolin]

This is the setup. So longtime ridiculous historians, you will know that for many years now, apropos of whatever episodes we cover our nemeses, the Quizzter will come to the show and then will subject us to a series of torturous mind experiments. Noel, you remember these?

[Noel Brown]

Well, something of a mind freak, that Quister.

[Ben Bolin]

So Jonathan, AKA the Quister, you have been, as Noel said, lurking in the shadows all these many episodes. And at some point there was something that in some episode we did that inspired you to yet again begin our old greatest of games.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Well, let me explain a little bit here. I was. The reason why you've not heard from me in so long is that 2024 has been sort of a year of reflection and self discovery and self actualization, if you will. I went on a sojourn to really reflect and think hard about this animosity that has grown between us and perhaps wonder if mayhaps there be a way to settle things and have us all become friends. And as I thought about this, I then perused your episodes and something catalog. Something caught my attention that filled me with such rage.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Jonathan Strickland]

This is such intense loathing. Some might say unadulterated loathing.

[Noel Brown]

Could be any number of episodes.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes, but there's one in particular that got me and it's not the one we're going to quiz you about yet. No, that. That I have to save.

[Noel Brown]

I'm saving us a little bit. I see.

[Jonathan Strickland]

This, this is more about Vikings. Oh, you had a little thing about Vikings and Kitty cats.

[Noel Brown]

All right.

[Ben Bolin]

We did.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yeah.

[Noel Brown]

That was a fun episode. Turns out the Viking kitties didn't have braided, you know, beards and little.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Little.

[Noel Brown]

Little helmets.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Little horned helmets. Yes. I have some Viking quizzes for you. Or a quiz. A quiz.

[Noel Brown]

I thought you were going to say blood.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I'm going to. Well, I also have a long story about Vikings that I'll tell you after the quiz, and that's just going to be a present from me.

[Noel Brown]

All right, all right. That's the season.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Once we do that, we can have our little chit chat and our little discussion and we can have our little tete a tete, and that's the most.

[Ben Bolin]

Important part of the game. What is going on?

[Jonathan Strickland]

And then after that. Well, then after that, spoiler alert for your dear listeners. I'm going to tease the reason why I have come back, but I'm going to save that for episode two. So just letting people know now that they're not going to get it in this one. It's just not happening. I'm sorry.

[Noel Brown]

It's a real mythology dump we're getting.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yeah, no, I had some time. I woke up pretty early today, so I just kind of threw this together. Here we go. As always, for those who are unfamiliar with the quiz, it is, of course, the cringiest segment in all of podcasting. We established that years ago, and to.

[Noel Brown]

Be fair, it's been a hot minute since we've done it. So we're really gonna bring the cringe on these two episodes, by the way.

[Ben Bolin]

Yes. With a much needed refresher, too.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes. So this first one, I am giving you four scenarios. Really? In this case, it's four stories about Norse mythology, But one of them is one I made up. The other three are actual. Let's call them paraphrased variations of Norse mythology, because obviously we get the word saga from them. I'm not going to be able to go through the whole thing.

[Noel Brown]

So that's what this has been thus far.

[Jonathan Strickland]

No, this is what makes it so cringey is that the setup makes the payoff completely pointless.

[Ben Bolin]

Oh, this is just like, I love a shaggy dog story, obviously.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Well, you're going to love the second half.

[Ben Bolin]

All right, this is just 10 minutes in. All right, how does this game work?

[Jonathan Strickland]

I'll give you the four scenarios. You will have three minutes to deliberate amongst yourselves to decide which one of them is the one I made up. Three of them are real, one is fake. I keep saying this because one of you, Noel, keeps forgetting the rules. And then if you have a question and you want some clarification that maybe I'll be able to give you because I did this this morning. You will have to preface your question with the phrase, I sure am Thor.

[Noel Brown]

That's going to be hard to do. That's a. That's a real tongue twister.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yeah, yeah, it's a big one.

[Noel Brown]

I saw Am Thor. Sure I can't do it. Is there an alternate.

[Jonathan Strickland]

No answers for no.

[Ben Bolin]

You got it.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Here we go. Here we go. Here's scenario number one. 1. Of all the gods in the Norse pantheon, only one was known to carve. Pau. Yes, Ulr was the God of snow and the patron saint of skiers. There's a ski resort in Colorado called Breckenridge that celebrates Ulur every year. The Norse folks weren't overly concerned with writing stuff down. So Ullr doesn't show up often in written accounts of Norse literature, but his name does pop up in different places on maps throughout the Scandinavian region.

[Noel Brown]

I sure am Thor.

[Jonathan Strickland]

No, you have to wait till the end of all of them, Noel.

[Noel Brown]

See, I forgot the.

[Jonathan Strickland]

It's only after I get through all four. All right.

[Noel Brown]

I was just going to say the carved Pow.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yeah, you carve Pow.

[Noel Brown]

That's how people say.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yeah, you got to carve Pow. It's fresh snow. Pow.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, you just like a euphemism.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Listen, I did. I did a restless ones with the guy who runs Vale Resorts. I know all about carving Pow.

[Noel Brown]

Now. Anyway, I'm not a Van Echelon of society to know what that means.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Name drop. So in some versions of Norse mythology, he was sort of the winter version of Odin. He would actually take over the ruling of Asgard in the colder months, while Odin would go off summering someplace warm, probably Florida. In other versions, Ulur is son of Sif and stepson to thoroughly. Now, the general theory is that once he held a very important place in Norse mythology, but over time, other deities became more prominent and his role was diminished. He was.

[Ben Bolin]

Oh, like how Steve Urkel took over family maps.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Very much like that. What an odd thing to say with no context whatsoever.

[Noel Brown]

He was a very popular character.

[Jonathan Strickland]

He was much beloved, but eventually faded into obscurity.

[Noel Brown]

Anyway, he's got his own line of weed.

[Jonathan Strickland]

He was so Oola, not Steve Urkel. Ula was said to be an amazing skier as well as Archer. Oh, and that ski resort in Colorado does crazy stuff to celebrate Ula. Like folks get together and they make a bonfire out of old skis and stuff like that. That's scenario one.

[Noel Brown]

Okay.

[Jonathan Strickland]

All right, we got three more to get through. Do we want any more commentary from the peanut butter?

[Noel Brown]

No, no. Carry on.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Scenario 2. Leif Ormson is a mythical king in Norse mythology who was said to have conquered many lands in what is now Sweden. Leif had the luxury of growing old, and he wished to see that his power would pass down to his three daughters. So Leif promised each daughter one third of his kingdom if they showed him reverence. Two of the three daughters did as their father asked, eager to seize their own kingdoms. The third daughter refused and told her father that to demand a display of love and respect in return for power was to be a bad king. Leif was so insulted, he banished his third daughter and divided his kingdom into two parts, giving them to his two other daughters. Then Leif discovered to his horror, that once he had given away all his power, his two previously dutiful daughters now dismissed him. He became homeless, wandering the two kingdoms that once belonged to him, until finally he finds the corpse of his youngest daughter. She had apparently died not long after being exiled. His story was told again and again as an example of a bad king, a warning to other leaders, and many centuries later, a playwright by the name of William Shakespeare would take this story and then adapt it to become an English tragedy called King Lear. Scenario number three. Njall's saga is an epic story.

[Noel Brown]

Can you do that again? That was some real funky. Put on that one.

[Jonathan Strickland]

N, J, A L L. Just listen. Listen, you. You Scandinavian folks out there. I know, I know I'm not saying it right, but luckily you can leave the voice.

[Noel Brown]

We all know you can leave the.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Voicemail to them, not to me. Njal's saga is an epic tale that follows many stories. In fact, so many stories that Njal himself doesn't even show up until the second one. He and his buddy Gunner begin the tale by going after a debt owed by characters from the first story. But those are just details, really. The entire saga is one of male fragility and ego, in that the saga features story after story of some dude taking offense for some slight, sometimes the slightest of slights, and how that inevitably escalates into a catastrophic confrontation in which lots of people ultimately perish. Also, Gunner's wife and y'all's wife hate each other, and regularly they each beguile and coax dubious people into killing members of the other person's household. Which leaves Gunnar and y'all to continuously meet up and figure out who owes money to whom for the wereguild. Njal keeps trying to lawyer his way out of stuff. But folks keep doing dumb things like accidentally wounding one another, which necessitates vengeance, which inevitably ends with someone killing someone else. Until at one point, NJL and 10 other members of his household die by being burned alive in their own house. Surprisingly, the story continues from there, with Njal's one surviving son son exacting even more revenge, while everyone else just tries to figure out how they can stop killing each other for just five minutes. It's a pretty sweet story. And finally, scenario number four. Volund is another mythical figure in Norse stories. He was an artisan and jewelry maker who, along with his two brothers, met some pretty rad ladies down by the lakeshore. One day, everybody paired up and sort of got hitched. But then, nine years later, the three women up and leave the brothers. Volund's two bros head out to find out where their wives went. But Volund decides to stay behind and make a pair of arm rings, some jewelry for his own wife. Unfortunately, since this means that Volund was on his own, a greedy king kidnapped him in order to force him to make stuff for the king's family. He also cuts Volen's hamstrings so that Volen can't run away.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, God, that's the most. Oh, that's the cruelest cut of all.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Oh, just wait, just wait. Like Hephaestus getting crippled, Volund then turns the table on this wicked king by tempting the king's two sons to visit with Volund. Only then Volund kills the two prince princes, extrudes their eyes and their teeth, turns those into jewelry, and then gives those back to the king. Oh, and then he apparently.

[Ben Bolin]

This is what the spin doctor song is about.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes, two princes. Yes, just go ahead now. And then he apparently. He apparently flies away somehow. How is not entirely clear, Although some versions of the tale say he forged a pair of wings for himself. Also, some versions say that the woman he married was actually a Valkyrie and that was the reason that she had to leave. She had to go back to work.

[Noel Brown]

Some divine intervention I do have to put forth, though. These scenarios are so elaborate that I think it's a little unfair that we can't ask questions in media rests, But I'm just going to put that out there.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Oh, I agree. I agree. There's nothing fair about it.

[Noel Brown]

Okay. Okay, go on.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yeah, no, that's it.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, that's it.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I'm done.

[Max Williams]

Small business owners, this one's for you. Chase for business and iheart bring you a podcast series called the unshakeables this one of a kind series will shine the spotlight on small business owners like you who faced a do or die moment that ultimately made their business what it is today. Learn [e-mail] business chase make more of what's Yours Chase Mobile app is available for select mobile devices. Message and data rates may apply. JPMorgan Chase Bank NA Member FDIC Copyright.

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Imagine standing at that open garage door looking at that car you love more than anything, knowing that anything is possible, whether it's keeping it on the road forever or turning it into something that's never been on the road before.

[Ben Bolin]

Because with ebay, your garage just got a whole lot bigger.

[Noel Brown]

Get all the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time. Ebay things people love this episode of Ridiculous History is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

[Ben Bolin]

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[Noel Brown]

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[Ben Bolin]

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[Ben Bolin]

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[Noel Brown]

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[Ben Bolin]

Go to mintmobile.com ridiculous that's mintmobile.com ridiculous. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com ridiculous $45 upfront.

[Noel Brown]

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[Ben Bolin]

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[Unknown]

With Shipt Same day delivery, you get more than just groceries delivered by hand from your favorite stores. You get to hunker down for holiday movie night, toast mimosas with friends or check out the neighborhood light displays. So while a shopper with Shipt checks off your grocery list or makes that last minute trip to the store, you get the greatest gift of all. More. You get more from the holidays. Download the Shipt app and start shopping today.

Chronic migraine is 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more. Botox Onobotulinum toxin a prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraines before they start. Botox is not approved for adults with migraine who have 14 or fewer headache days a month. Botox prevents on average eight to nine headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo.

[Hoda Kotb]

Botox is a prescription medicine injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or Nerve conditions, including als, Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

[Unknown]

Talk to your doctor and visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox to learn more.

[Ben Bolin]

Okay, so four scenarios.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes. 1, 2, 3, and 4.

[Ben Bolin]

Yes. That's how numbers work. Missed you a little bit. So, Ula and skiing Leaf and the three daughters. And home homeless and discovering the daughters, the y'all. And Gunner, which Noel. I think Gunner is a super cool name. I might go on by that.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben Bolin]

And then Voland the artisan. All right, so extrudes.

[Noel Brown]

How does one extrude teeth? Is that just the same as pulling them?

[Ben Bolin]

So we have to.

[Jonathan Strickland]

We have.

[Noel Brown]

I didn't say the phrase. Sorry. Carry on.

[Ben Bolin]

We have to play by the rules of the game. No, you're totally fine. No, because we have to return to our grandfather clock that we spent way too much money on in the beginning of this show. And start.

[Noel Brown]

We finally paid it off. I hope so.

[Ben Bolin]

I hope we did. This is where we can justify it to accounting. I'm going to run and start the timer. 3, 2, 1.

[Noel Brown]

Look at him scoot. Go. Good job, man.

[Ben Bolin]

All right. Thank you, man.

[Noel Brown]

Nobody cut those hamstrings, right?

[Ben Bolin]

Okay, so first off, we know a little bit about the quizzter's M.O. in our forensics. Noel, before I screwed up and pointed it out, often the longest answer would be the one he made up.

[Noel Brown]

They were all equally long.

[Ben Bolin]

The third one was the longest.

[Noel Brown]

Okay, you were taking count. I see. Boy, oh, boy.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Because the Quizzter likes his own words so much that he spends more time on the fake one than on the real ones.

[Noel Brown]

I get. At least he acknowledges it.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I like the metagaming. That's what I enjoy.

[Noel Brown]

It's true. No, no. Maybe this is a silly. This is a question for you, Ben. I don't think I have to say the passphrase, but did they really ski in ancient Norse times?

[Ben Bolin]

Mm.

[Noel Brown]

I mean, I know they were. They sledded. But skiing seems like a little bit more of a relatively modern twist on that.

[Ben Bolin]

They. They had to get across the snow somehow. So I would imagine snow shoes. Snow shoes for sure. But for speed, you're looking for a sled or something.

[Noel Brown]

They weren't cutting the pow.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Carving. Carving.

[Noel Brown]

They weren't ripping. Ripping the. Ripping the shreds.

[Ben Bolin]

I sure am shredding the wheat. I sure am Thor.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes, Ben.

[Ben Bolin]

Okay, okay. So for Volund the artist, I'm going somewhere with this, though. Is. Is it possible that Volund the Artisan occurs in other sagas or just in this one?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Completely. Completely possible, yes. The one I was specifically referencing is a poem that I think is around 20 stanzas long. But a lot of these different stories appear in variations in different accounts. But the one I was specifically pulling from. Which is why I say in some versions, the woman that he encounters, technically referenced as a Swan Maiden, may have been a Valkyrie.

[Noel Brown]

I think that one's real. I don't know why. No, no, no. That's too soon. It's too soon. We gotta stretch this out.

[Ben Bolin]

I was just a little biased because of the slant rhyme between Bolin and Voland, I thought. But that's too obvious. That makes me think.

[Noel Brown]

I don't think he would make that kind of.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Of him to do that. You're right. Oh, so true.

[Noel Brown]

See?

[Ben Bolin]

All right.

[Noel Brown]

If only he weren't so diabolical. But then it wouldn't be as fun.

[Ben Bolin]

But again, it's. This is what I love about it. It's like we're in the Princess Bride poison situation. All right, dude, here's what I'm going to go with. Noel. I'm going to go. I'm going to think number one. What do you think?

[Noel Brown]

You think number one is real?

[Ben Bolin]

Oola and skiing justice once again.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Once again. There's one fake one.

[Ben Bolin]

That's the fake one.

[Noel Brown]

You think the skiing is the fake one.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Oh, well, that's.

[Noel Brown]

I agree. Because I'm sorry. Sorry, guys. It's a little early here. It's actually not that early. It's 10:45. It's early. Ish.

[Ben Bolin]

It's always early somewhere.

[Noel Brown]

It's true. I did immediately question the idea of skiing in that era.

[Ben Bolin]

You wanna lock it in, Brian?

[Noel Brown]

I think we ought to lock it in.

[Ben Bolin]

All right, cool. Cause we just ran out of time. So. 3, 2, 1.

[Noel Brown]

Locked in.

[Ben Bolin]

Locked in.

[Noel Brown]

I know there's still time.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes. Tybalt Bach. There's still Bach in the background.

[Noel Brown]

He could be maniacally laughing because we got it right.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Nope. Damn. You got it. You got it so wrong. Ullr is in fact the patron saint of skiers.

[Ben Bolin]

No, but there's a patron saint of skiers.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes. And his name is Uller. You elevate.

[Noel Brown]

Is there also a patron saint of douchebags?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Well, I'm really kind of positioning myself for consideration.

[Ben Bolin]

I believe in you.

[Noel Brown]

I feel like no shade on any skiers out there. I think I Think it's a Venn diagram. Not all skiers are douchebags, but all douchebags are skiers. Boom.

[Ben Bolin]

Mazes of puzzles. All right, wait. Which is the. Which is the. Can you tell us?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes, I. I can tell you which of the scenarios is the fake one. It's the second one, Leaf Ormson, the one that supposedly inspired King Lear. Now, King Lear is based off an 8th century before common era legendary king of England who probably didn't exist, but Shakespeare did lift one story from Norse mythology or Norse storytelling to inspire one of his plays. It just wasn't King Lear, it was Hamlet.

[Noel Brown]

You always leave a bit of the truth within your diabolical, hateful lies.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yep, that's. Well, you know, that's the game.

[Ben Bolin]

That is. That is the game. Wow. Now I feel. You know what? No, I feel like one of those people at a casino who maybe is getting too into gambling because we lost this one. But I want to go again. You know what I mean?

[Noel Brown]

Oh, definitely. Double down even, baby.

[Jonathan Strickland]

We will, we will go again. I mean, that's the point.

[Ben Bolin]

You had a story though.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes, yes. So this is something that. A tale I have told innumerable times. A tale about history in the Vikings. Because I believe most people are aware the Vikings. The Vikings have a reputation that I think is largely unearned or at least, at the very least misunderstood.

[Ben Bolin]

Embellished perhaps.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes. Or due to cultural and linguistic divides.

[Noel Brown]

Are you going to tell us they were actually a bunch of sweethearts?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Listen, Vikings used to do.

[Noel Brown]

I have no choice.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Vikings used to have this strategy, right? They had a whole name for it. It was recreational, agricultural, industrial development, sojourns, which is a lot to say. So they used raids for short.

[Noel Brown]

Stop it. Look at all this this morning. You're a monster, the Vikings. You're a demon from hell.

[Jonathan Strickland]

The Vikings would go on these raids where they would look for peoples that were worse off than themselves and then find ways to improve their well being. But because there were often these linguistic and cultural divides, often those efforts were misinterpreted as acts of aggression. Allow me to give you an example. There was this one Viking captain sailing with his crew aboard their longship. They're rowing away when they see a small island on the horizon. And as they grow closer, they notice that there is a village on this island which has very few distinguishing features apart from a rather large hill toward the roughly the center of the island where there is one prominent hut at the very top. And the Vikings look out at this little island and the Captain says, oh, these people here, they're really struggling. You can tell they're having a difficult time. Perhaps this time for us to have one of our raids. And all the Vikings in the ship agree. The Viking captain says, well, where shall we start? Well, first of all, look at the crops of this tiny village. They're barely producing any grain at all. What we should do is burn the crops and use the ashes to fertilize the ground so that next year's harvest can be all the greater. And the Vikings all agree this is an excellent idea.

[Noel Brown]

So they just set upon them and burned their crops.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Well, you're getting a head.

[Noel Brown]

How could that be misinterpreted? I can't imagine.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Listen, we've all made some rather rash decisions while trying to help people in need. So, yes, the Vikings land their ship, they pour it out, they begin to burn the crops. Well, on that hill next to the very prominent hut is also this enormous bell. And next to the bell sits the village chieftain who looks down and sees all these hairy men pouring out of a boat and burning all his crops. And so he immediately rings the bell three times. What this does is summons all the warriors of the village up to the top of the hill. And he says, these men are here to burn all our food, chase them away. And the warriors brandishing weapons scream and run down the hill. And the Vikings don't want any trouble, so they get back into their ship and pull away to safety. And the Viking captain says, oh, these poor, poor fools. I have attempted to improve their lot in life and yet we have been chased away. So we shall away and get our new supplies and come back and see how they're doing in the future. So they do, they leave and a year passes.

[Max Williams]

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[Ben Bolin]

This episode of Ridiculous History is brought to you by ebay Motors.

[Noel Brown]

Picture this. You're in the garage, your favorite room in the house, and you're tuning up your engine with parts you found on ebay. Every piece is just locking perfectly into.

[Ben Bolin]

Place you step back to admire your work, hands covered in grease. And because you're committed to driving that thing further than the odometer can even handle, you start thinking to yourself, you know what?

[Noel Brown]

I could probably also use some new brakes, some shocks and struts. This baby deserves a new air filter.

[Ben Bolin]

So you head right back to ebay.

[Noel Brown]

You can find any part you need there. It is unreal. From wipers and headlights to cold air intakes, exhaust systems, and even that turbo you had on your mind, Ebay is.

[Ben Bolin]

The stocked garage of your dreams. And you've got ebay guaranteed fit.

[Noel Brown]

Because eBay knows DIY fixes can be major and mods are always intense. So you need to know those parts are guaranteed to fit every time before you dive in.

[Ben Bolin]

Wrench first, and in the off chance you order a part and it doesn't fit, send it back. Simple as that.

[Noel Brown]

You know what you love more than your car itself is driving it. You're serious when it comes to engine maintenance and locked in when you're headed into a build.

[Ben Bolin]

And that's exactly why you start with ebay. Minor fix or complete overhaul. You want to get your ride back on the road and you've got ebay guaranteed fit.

[Noel Brown]

So ebay created my garage where all you have to do is add your ride's info to get the exact parts that fit. When you see that green check, you're a click away from that part, clicking perfectly into place.

[Ben Bolin]

So now that you know all that.

[Noel Brown]

Imagine standing at that open garage door looking at that car you love more than anything, knowing that anything is possible. Whether it's keeping it on the road forever or turning it into something that's never been on the road before.

[Ben Bolin]

Because with ebay, your garage just got a whole lot bigger.

[Noel Brown]

Get all the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time.

[Savannah Guthrie]

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[Unknown]

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Can Botox Onobotulinum Toxin a help if I have chronic migraine 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more, Botox prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine. Botox is not approved for adults with migraine who have 14 or fewer headache days a month. It's the number one prescribed branded chronic migraine treatment.

[Hoda Kotb]

Botox is a prescription medicine injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness be signs of a life threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions including als, Lou Gehrig's disease, Myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton Syndrome and medications including Botulinum toxins as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

[Unknown]

Talk to your doctor and visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox to learn more.

[Jonathan Strickland]

In that next year, the same Viking captain rose this ship all the way up to the island. They take a look and they see that the crops in fact have grown back and they look far better than they did before. But the Viking captain says, oh, there's still so much that could be done. Look at the homes these people live in. They're barely keeping the elements out. What we should do is very vigorously disassemble these homes and then use the material to build houses in the Viking fashion where they will keep them warm and safe. And the Vikings all agree. So they land their ship and they exit and they begin to disassemble their homes with great fervor.

[Noel Brown]

AKA like pillage and just destroy.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Listen one person's pillage and destroys another person's home. Renault so the village, the technical phrase.

[Ben Bolin]

Is they reverse ikea.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah, I was thinking of that. I don't know why.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I mean, if you've ever read any of those instructions, by the time you get to stage seven, you're ready to tear stuff apart. So the village chieftain looks down and he says, oh, the hairy men are back. And now they're tearing apart all of our homes. So he rings the bell three times to summons all the warriors of the village. And the chieftain says, you must chase these men away for soon we will have no place to sleep. So the warriors, brandishing their weapons, scream and run down the hill. And the Vikings, not wanting any trou, withdraw to their ship and head back out to the safety of the sea. The Viking captain says, ah, these poor.

[Noel Brown]

We were just trying to help. They shouted.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Exactly. But of course no one speaks Viking on the island. So the captain says, we tried twice to help them, but we shall not give up. These people clearly need our help and we will make certain that they improve their conditions. But first we should resupply again. So another year passes while the Vikings are gone. When they return, they see that indeed the village has reconstructed their homes. But they look far more sturdy and easily defendable now. And the crops are looking even better than before. But, well, the Viking captain says, look at the children of this village. They seem so sickly, those poor children. What clearly needs to happen is some circulation of the gene pool because these are very forward thinking Vikings. And so the Vikings land their ship and they set up what is known as the first speed dating session.

[Ben Bolin]

Oh, wow.

[Jonathan Strickland]

So they're, they are speed dating at an incredible pace when the village chieftain speed raping. Speed raping. Dating, Dating. I know that the connection isn't great, but dating. So the village chieftain looks down, he says, ah. He rings the bell three times, summoning up all the warriors. But at this point, they've got the gist of it. They run down brandishing their weapons and the Vikings withdraw, get into their ship and sail off into the safety of the sea. And the Viking captain says, ah, well, thrice we have tried, thrice we have been turned away. The next morrow upon the high tide, we shall sail away forever. And all the Vikings are very sad.

[Noel Brown]

Sail away, sail away, sail away.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Right. So then the village chieftain that night is thinking about what evils have befallen his village over the past three years. And he thinks, oh, we are bedeviled by these, these invaders. They burned our crops down a few years ago. Of course, they look better than they ever have. Even in my youth, we didn't have crops as nice as they are now. And then they tore apart all our houses. Although my house now is so much nicer than it was before they showed up.

[Noel Brown]

And let's just assume creation requires destruction.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes, and let's assume that he had some grasp about the children. Anyway, he decided we've chased these people off, but perhaps they weren't actually trying to hurt us at all. Perhaps they were trying to help us. But now that we have turned them away three times, how can we say that we actually understand what they were trying to do? And he comes up with an idea. He gathers all the families of the village and he asks them to make their specialty, which for reasons I do not know, so don't bother asking me, on this particular island in the North Scandinavian seas was peach pies. And so all night, the families bake and bake and bake and bake and bake. The next morning as the Vikings wake up.

[Ben Bolin]

I am pre mad at you.

[Jonathan Strickland]

The next morning as the Vikings wake up, they look out at the beach and they are shocked to see they can't see a square inch of sand, not a square inch, because the entire beach is covered by these peach pies. And they look out and they say, ah, this is a sign. A sign that they welcome us back. So they land their boat, crushing some pies in the process. It could not be helped. And they get out and they begin to celebrate with the people of the village. When they hear it, the bell, it rings three times. They look and they see all the warriors up at the top of the hill. And they freeze in place. But then the warriors do something amazing. They lift the bell out of its harness, they carry it all the way down the hill, and they throw it into the ocean. And that was the very first celebration of the Nobel Peach pies.

[Ben Bolin]

You were fired. This was a mistake.

[Noel Brown]

You just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

[Jonathan Strickland]

You begged me to come on. Here.

[Ben Bolin]

See the punchline one more time. Oh, what a.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes. The first celebration of the Nobel peach pie.

[Noel Brown]

I was going to posit that it was the actual origin story of the very first Thanksgiving.

[Ben Bolin]

Yeah, I like that, too. I love. I love the pun. You're right. We did invite you on here. I think with that, Noel, we got a hot hand here. What'd you call it when we were in Vegas? We got a good table.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, I don't know. I didn't have that in Vegas, nor do I have that in life, as evidenced by this charade.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I think I have Sapped the will to live from Noel.

[Noel Brown]

Hey. I mean, you just. So none of that was true. None of that was true. Jonathan, I believed you. I believed that the Vikings were actually misunderstood. Benevolent, you know, generous, lovely gents.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Right. The whole recreational, agricultural, industrial development sojourns wasn't a dead giveaway.

[Ben Bolin]

Oh, come on.

[Noel Brown]

You were just being corn. I thought you were just being.

[Ben Bolin]

That's like fornication under consent of the King.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I can't tell you how many times I've told that story because literally, I started telling it in 1999. Oh, wow.

[Noel Brown]

This is a good year.

[Ben Bolin]

Limp Bizkit Prince was blowing up.

[Jonathan Strickland]

25 years. 25 years I've been telling that story.

[Ben Bolin]

Well, the good news is it felt.

[Noel Brown]

Like 25 years hearing you tell it.

[Jonathan Strickland]

That was a short.

[Ben Bolin]

It never got better. So we could say points for consistency. Jonathan, AKA the Quizzard. Thank you so much for hanging out out with us.

[Noel Brown]

Really. That's very benevolent. It's very diplomatic. I appreciate what you're doing. I see what you.

[Ben Bolin]

It's okay. Noel, obviously, I don't mean it. It's just the thing you say. But the. Here's the.

[Noel Brown]

That was what they call an aside in Shakespeare.

[Ben Bolin]

There it is. Here's the thing. We are going to continue this dangerous great game because.

[Noel Brown]

Must we?

[Ben Bolin]

Well, you and I can't just have the guy come back and immediately take an L without trying one more time, right? That's true.

[Noel Brown]

And we do need to fill some time for the hol.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Two. Two things. One is that I do reveal in our next episode what got me so angry that I had to come back.

[Noel Brown]

And two, oh, it wasn't the. It wasn't the Viking Kitties episode.

[Jonathan Strickland]

No, that was. That was not what got me angry.

[Ben Bolin]

No, that was just caught astray.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I explained.

[Noel Brown]

I caught astray.

[Jonathan Strickland]

That's really good.

[Ben Bolin]

No, I. Oh, yeah.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I will. I will reveal what got me so angry in the next episode also. So this should entice you, Noel. The next quiz only has three scenarios.

[Noel Brown]

Thank the sweet Lord of Light and our attention spans. And Jonathan, I say when you reveal whatever this thing is that's made you despise us even further, I promise that I will pretend to care.

[Ben Bolin]

And I make no such promises. I don't save stuff for the swim back anytime I'm in a fight. Thank you so much to our dearly beloved, acknowledged to exist, Nemesis the Quister.

[Noel Brown]

Soon to be dearly departed.

[Ben Bolin]

I've run it out.

[Noel Brown]

My plans come to fruition.

[Ben Bolin]

Big thanks to Our super producer, Mr. Max Williams, Alex Williams, who composed this track. Who else know?

[Noel Brown]

I guess Jonathan Strickland, the quizzter. A.J. jacobs, the puzzler. A.J. bahamas Jacobs, that is. You know, you have sort of a benevolent counterpart now, Jonathan. I don't think we've talked about a benevolent. Wait. Yeah, well, you're the. You're the Quizzter and we've got the Puzzler, who's a really lovely fella.

[Ben Bolin]

Just a human hug. Just like our pal Mangesh had a couture.

[Noel Brown]

If you guys were in the same room together, a rift in time and space would open up.

[Ben Bolin]

Like us all in Streams and Ghostbusters and we can't wait for you guys to hang out. You actually would have a really good time together. Rachel, Big spinach, Lance. And of course, everybody's tuned in. Please join us later on in the week where we'll see if we can get even with one of our favorite villains. In the meantime, Noel, thanks to you, buddy.

[Noel Brown]

Thanks to you as well. Not super hopeful about getting even, but going to give it our holiday bests.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Got a one out of three chance.

[Noel Brown]

I mean, we'll see you next time, folks. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Ben Bolin]

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[Jonathan Strickland]

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[Ben Bolin]

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[Jonathan Strickland]

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[Unknown]

Oh, man. Nothing is worse than a bad cold that knocks you down hard. That's why it's convenient to keep the new Theraflu soft chews right at your fingertips. They have the same multi symptom relief that you get from Theraflu. Not only are they packed with the power of theraflu in every single bite. But the easy to take chewables are simpler than making soup or tea or whatever. So be prepared and grab some new theraflu soft juice fast anywhere. Relief by your side. Use as directed. Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids instantly, set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications, kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place. Sign up for greenlight [e-mail] iheart the holidays are here, and so is the Ikea Winter Sale. Now's your chance to make the holidays a little more magical and less expensive. Save up to 50% off on select items in store and online now through January 7th. Plus IKEA loyalty members get an extra 10% off on sale items offer valid in the US through 17 multiplies last selection may vary by store and online. Cstore in ikea usa.com winter sale for complete terms Restrictions apply.