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- [00:01]
Kevin
Hey, folks, this is Kevin. Hey. If you can hear sounds behind me, those are the sounds of Bangkok. I am out on the streets and I'm researching what it might be like to move here later this year. Now, where am I exactly right now? To tell you the truth, I have no idea. I got four Airbnbs for this two week trip so I could check out this neighborhood and then that neighborhood. And here's the deal. There's a joke about Bangkok that's commonly told, which is the way they figured out the urban planning here was that someone dropped a plate of spaghetti on the floor and said, there's a plan. So in the Airbnb that I just got today, oh, I thought I was so good about how I got it because I chose a place right on Benjakitti Park. I thought, oh my God, I want to see what it might be like to live on a park. You know, a street right across the street from the park. But I didn't realize you have to zoom way, way, way, way in on those maps because of the spaghetti ness of Bangkok. There are so many side streets and so many alleyways and so many dead ends and so many tunnels and so many sky paths that everywhere you turn you're getting surprises. But it is so easy to get lost. Plus, everything has at least four names, right? There's the official name of something, the nickname of it, the ancient name of it, and. And then an abstraction, a poetic name for that thing. So if you tell someone the address of where you want to go, everyone is just as confused as you are to what that might be referring to. So it turns out I am in fact a 35 minute walk away from Benjakitti Park. I have to walk the Google. The Google map is showing me having to go through this side street and then that alleyway and then way north of the park and then turn a corner and go way south. Because parks here are very, very walled off. They have very few entrances. Once I get to the park, I have to walk another 12 or 15 minutes to get to the entrance. So it's a perfect example of all the adaptation I have ahead of me. But you have a real treat for you today, because today's episode is called Americans Abroad. And you're in the hands of a far more meticulous and artistic host. Our editor, John La Sala put this one together. So you're about to hear some stories of other Americans abroad in other places, and I hope you enjoy it. I'll check back in at the end of the episode.
- [03:26]
John La Sala
Howdy, it's John. And speaking of giant redheaded Americans in Asia, on this week's episode of Risk, you'll hear Michael McFadden.
- [03:36]
Michael McFadden
Now, I'd heard that McDonald's kind of tastes the same wherever you go, but I've never had it anywhere else. So I brazenly just walk in, you know, and it gets some odd looks, of course at first, but then they realize like, oh, I'm a giant redheaded man coming to eat his giant redheaded American food.
- [03:52]
John La Sala
That and more. But first I want you to type this into your social media platform of choice. RiskShow. I'll wait. So did you find us? Are we there? If not, reach out and, you know, give us a hard time for not being there yet. But if so, send us a message or post something risk worthy and tag us. Tell us about a story you heard recently or a long time ago on Risk and how you feel about it. Wasn't it amazing? Did it stink? Is is it me? John La Sala? Do I stink? Whatever it is, we want to hear it. And if social media isn't your thing, you can always reach us through the Contact us button@risk-show.com so lay it on me. We'll be right back.
- [04:50]
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- [06:00]
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- [06:27]
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- [06:58]
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- [08:02]
John La Sala
Now here's the show. Hello folks, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm John, stepping in for Kevin, who is currently wreaking havoc across Southeast Asia as we speak. And this is David Bowie speaking on behalf of all the other nations of the globe.
- [09:03]
David Bowie
I'm afraid of America. I'm afraid of the world. I'm afraid I can't help it, I'm afraid I can'.
- [09:17]
John La Sala
But really, I'm not sure where he's coming from. I mean, what's there to be afraid of? America is the stablest nation in the world and pretty much keeps to itself, right?
- [09:29]
David Bowie
Johnny wants a brain.
- [09:31]
Kevin
Johnny wants to suck on a Coke.
- [09:33]
John La Sala
Anywho, welcome to the Greatest show on Earth. Welcome to this episode we're putting out while Kevin's abroad, called appropriately Americans Abroad. And we've got a couple of stories for you today about precisely that. But first, I just want to give a quick shout out to one Kara Cordoni, one of our Patreon patrons who just upgraded their support for us to the $25 or more a month level. That's our kink camper tier. Thank you. Kara or Kara? Kara. Let's go with Kara. Kara, you are part of the lifeblood that keeps risk alive and kicking. And you other dear listeners, can keep us kicking@patreon.com risk or send a one time donation at paypal.me riskshow.
- [10:24]
David Bowie
I'm afraid of America. I'm afraid of the world. I'm afraid I can't help it. I'm afraid I can't.
- [10:36]
John La Sala
In a little bit we're going to hear a fantastic story from Sean Wellington. More about that later. But to kick things off, that story from Michael McFadden, you heard a clip of Up Top. Now, this story first came to our attention last September at our live show in New York at Caveat. We've been asking audience members at these shows to come up and tell a little five minute story on stage. That night, Michael told a frenetic 5 minute version of this 15 minute story by basically spewing it all out at triple speed. It was an amazing feat, but we thought it deserved a proper treatment. So let's hear how that turned out. Michael McFadden, take it away.
- [11:31]
Michael McFadden
McFaddens are successful people. My father, the eldest of five siblings, each in their own industries, his being telecommunications and networking. These are people that never seem to slow down. Even when one job or a house or a marriage falls apart. They just kind of push on and not wait for others to catch up. Meanwhile, me by 19, I feared that I didn't really resemble any of this, having both failed as an athlete and as a student being kicked out of college after only a semester. So I started kind of following my dad wherever he ended up, just to kind of stay connected but also maybe figure out how to move forward Myself in my early 20s. First I visited him in California, where he got remarried to a younger woman with the same name as my mother, Cindy. And then to China, where he had been set up as the lead East Asian sales for a big company. So in early 2004, this was my first big trip abroad. Externally, yeah, maybe just a vacation, but internally, maybe discover some of that McFadden fortitude. Beyond the typical haze of the 13 hour time shift in Shanghai, there is a literal haze in the air, even in winter. So I spent a half an hour car ride from the airport with my dad, watching this seemingly endless sprawl of skyscrapers. And my father spent that time talking about not necessarily the people or the culture, but sort of his business and the pace of the economy and how quickly things are going there, and kind of peppered it in with like, brags about his own prowess and how things were cheap like cigarettes and kind of half joking about the swift actions of an authoritative police state. But this was my first experience getting in there. I also quickly realized that he hadn't hardly learned any of the language, even after being there for months. When we got to his apartment, it seemed like he just kind of used his height and charm and sort of bold American ness to his advantage. So the first thing he tells me when we get upstairs is, you know what? You know, this is all you need. You need some cash, a couple of phrases for the taxi drivers, and this address card book. And he holds out this like, Patrick Bateman era 80s, like business card book. And it's got a list of addresses in Mandarin of the places that he'd been or wanted to go. And then a little stack of addresses for his own house if he needed to get home. He's like, this is all you need. You know, just leave your stuff here, your passport, know that we're gonna go out, we're gonna have some fun. So even though I was clearly jet lagged and overwhelmed by all of this, I figured I'd just, you know, go with it. Like, my other visits just kind of be in his world. So first we, and you know, my stepmother Cindy too, we go to an entertainment district that they have kind of set up in different parts of the city. And we start with bowling, of all things, and then go karts. Go karts in the basement of this building. Kind of like a parking garage. Now, much to dismay of my stepmother, my father and I were both too large for the C2 equipment, but he just kind of did it. Like, he's like, this is something that it Seemed like he had done before. So, like, I'm gonna go with it. So the bulk of the rest of that night was spent at an expatriate bar, typically expats people, other foreigners, basically establishments that are designed to kind of welcome other people. And once we were inside, it looked and felt kind of like every other business class bar establishment that he had thrived in in the States. Just kind of, you know, different faces. So he and my stepmom spent most of the night drinking and complaining about the economy and their jobs and talking with a man whose English name was Joy. And I was asked to DJ some American, you know, modern music. Now, I didn't drink, so I spent most of the night just kind of watching and drinking water. And I got pizza from the place next door and I just kind of acted like I belonged. So they made plans for me to go to some of the big tourist spots the next day. But by the middle of night, I felt all kind of like knotted up in my stomach. And I went from heaving to vomiting and a fever and some diarrhea. Maybe it was the travel, but I was down for a whole day and the next night. I guess this is a common thing with traveling acclimating to local food or water or whatnot. But perhaps this had been lost on my dad and stepmom by now because they seemed kind of disappointed, like I wasn't keeping up. And honestly, so did I. Spending my first real day stuck watching this incredible skyline from a bed in a sky rise, feeling like I'd come all this way just to fail at something else. So the next morning after comes, and not only do I have this pent up lust for exploration, but also a desire to prove myself. Not to mention the artificial high that you get when your body starts finally fighting off an illness. But no, today was meetings for him and classes for her. So I was tasked with staying nearby the apartment immediately after they leave. Like, no, this is finally a chance for me to show them that I can handle myself out in the city. Maybe see it a little more authentically as well. So I take one of those business cards for something right in the heart of downtown, and I head off. There's something really unique about being somewhere where you don't know the language, you know, where you're the only one of you in that place. It pacifies you in a way. If you have kids or, you know, somebody with kids, maybe from three to six range, you know, they're curious about the world, but they kind of have to just be stuck absorbing Whatever they get because they can't fully interact with it. It's like that, but as an adult. So I step out into the Bund, which is this historic international architectural district right along the river. And it's amazing. It's bigger than anything I've ever seen in my life. And I just keep going and walking and look at things, and I go all the way down the river and across the river, and I keep going until I stop seeing other foreigners. For visual reference, this is about a decade later where they filmed the movie Her. And even in 2004, it had a grand futuristic aesthetic. You know, that's when it really felt like, wow. I'm like, I'm being. I'm not taking on the world now. I'm being part of it here. This feels amazing. So I get all the way over to the river, down where there is the Pearl Tower, and this is like sort of cultural district called Pudong, which is, like the other side of Shanghai. I go through a museum and Pearl Tower, and I see all these great, amazing things, and I get kind of ushered out into this big square. And now, finally, after being out for almost an entire day, I'm like, oh, now I need. I need to finally need to eat something, right? Running on fumes at this point. So I look, and I see right in front of me here is this incredibly huge shopping center. I'm like, oh, there's got to be good something in there. So I walk in, and I'm looking out among these multiple floors and all these different brands and things, mostly. So it's some things I recognize, but all the way up on the fourth floor, like my own personal bat signal, this beacon of a giant yellow M. Now, here it is. This is for me. It's McFadden McDonald's, right?
- [18:56]
John La Sala
This is.
- [18:57]
Michael McFadden
It's calling out to me, me. Now, I'd heard that McDonald's kind of tastes the same wherever you go, but I've never had it anywhere else. So I brazenly just walk in, you know, and get some odd looks, of course, at first, but then they realize, like, oh, I'm a giant redheaded man coming to eat his giant redheaded American food. And luckily, you know, they have pictures of the menu items for kids. So I just pointed that point at that point at that. You know, give them the money, and I get my cheeseburger and my chicken nuggets and my French fries and my drink, and I sit down, and it does. It tastes exactly the same, and it feels great. So much so that I kind of depart there. And I'm looking around like, okay, what else can I see in here that's sort of like a parallel or something I can kind of get involved in that's not completely foreign to me. So I look down the shopping center at the way at the end, I see, well, there's some bright lights and things that looks like an arcade. Like, I know games. Like, I'm kind of grew up in nerds. I mean, look, let me just check it out. So I get into this arcade and it's very sparse. There's not a lot of people in there. I don't really hardly see anybody. But there's definitely a lot of games and things I recognize. So I play a couple things, try a crane game. And I see this arcade machine for a time crisis. It's like this, like, cop shooter game. And I was like, give me a couple coins in. And I start playing. And before I realize it, there is now a small gaggle, maybe three or four small children just watching me. This is weird enough as it is, but on top of that, most of my interactions as a foreigner in this city up until then had been polarizing. Either somewhere between like, oh, my God, here's like a real human mascot coming at me, or the exact opposite. And like, you know, absolute avoidance or worse. But here, now they're watching me, they're interacting. They're just kind of curious about me. This is, this is great. And then it hits. This is, this is not the nodding in the stomach. This is something else. This is like there's, there's nothing stopping whatever is going on in my body. So, like, I, I, I gotta figure something out here. I gotta look up, start looking around. I'm trying to see if is there. I don't think I passed the bathroom. I look towards the back of the arcade and I see a male. It looks like a body, a human. And a little door. Great. This is, this is my ticket. So I leave a couple of coins on the machine. Kids go right at it. I back away and I walk straight to what this appears to be a bathroom. I head straight in. I see it's a stall. Great. A beeline straight for it. Bust open the door. Barely get enough time to turn around, get my pants most of the way down and just an explosion. Just, just a splatter. And it looked into the. I knew the bold and the things are going to be smaller than I was used to, but, like, okay, I'll get a big American. But no, this was way more geography than what was able to fit in this space. Just a. Just a big brown casserole right in the stall. And I could feel some wetness and things on my. On my underwear. I almost didn't want to turn around and look at it to see how bad it was. Like, okay, at least it's out, you know, now. Like, okay, let me, let me clean this up. I don't hear anybody else. I don't see anybody else in here. I look to my left and right and know there's no toilet paper. Okay, maybe let me check the next doll or maybe there's some napkins by the sink. So I kind of slowly, eek, open the door and I start kind of half slowly waddling out, leg spread, crouching down. And now look. Oh, there's no paper at the counter. There's no paper in here at all. In fact, everything is not just the toilet, everything is kind of smaller. And now I start seeing like primary colors painted everywhere. And the sink is kind of more like a changing table. Like, oh my. I am in a bathroom for children, for mothers to clean their children. And I am on the other side of the planet with my pants around my ankles and shit everywhere. And any second now there could be a family coming in here with another child that needs to use the bathroom. And I freeze there for a second and I slowly start waddling myself back, inching my way back into the stall. Close the door. Okay, what do I do? What do I do? Alright, I go commando, basically. So I take the underwear off and I use what was the clean parts of it left to kind of clean up everything else behind me. And I kind of did the best I could. Oh, fuck. Now I have this dirty thing of underwear with me and I don't even see a trash can, but okay, all right, I got underwear in my one hand. I started lifting my pants up. Okay, at least I got my p. Oh my God. I didn't even bring my passport with me. If something happens, what this police state, all these horror stories that I kept hearing. Oh my God. Okay, so I get my pants up. At least now I'm not a pedophile, you know, by definition. So I peer around the corner out now I see parents with these kids looking back and they see me. So I'm in the doorway and the kids point out at me and I've got my underwear in my right hand behind me, held. And I see a couple of kids coming up to me, you know, obviously pointing at me like, you know, big American, here's, you know, Michael McDonald, Michael McFadden you know, asking, you know, hands out for more coins. So I reach in my left hand, my other pocket, and I grab a couple of coins and I fake it. Like I am going to hand them out, but I drop them intentionally on the ground. Now, one of the parents, this mother of one of these kids, looks down at it. The kids look down and other kids see it. There's a couple other kids behind them. They all see it, and they kind of scramble for it. Meanwhile, I just, out of corner of my eye, see a trash can. So while they're scrambling, I step back, still facing them, and then I reach my hand. I don't care what else the is down there. I reach my hand as far down as I can in this trash can and just plop my dirty, shitty underwear all the way down in there. And then without saying or looking or seeing anything else, I just sort of power walk my way out of there, find the next cab and go straight home. Now, of course, when I get back, the first thing I do is look for my passport. Except I didn't have a chance to look for it because all the passports were gone. Like, gone gone. In fact, my father was asking me if I knew where they were through some detective work. It turned out that while I was gone, because I had gone into the city, the maid had washed all their clothes, and my father irresponsibly had left all of our passports in his pants, and the maid washed them and I guess maybe out of shame, decided the best course of action was to throw them out. So if anything had happened, I would have definitely gone to jail. So I spent the next few days in sort of limbo between the Chinese equivalent of the DMV with a translator and the American consulate just to get a temporary passport and a what's called a zero entry visa, which basically means you have 48 hours to get the fuck out of our country. Now, obviously, I couldn't really be mad at my dad for losing the passports, and he honestly wasn't really mad at me for not staying home that day. I never told him about the nearly international incident that I caused, and he never told me just how much it cost him professionally for that error. This wasn't really the kind of bonding I'd hoped for, but at least now I know that potential for brazen adventure runs in the family, even if it's ultimately accompanied by a healthy dose of recklessness. Needless to say, I bring extra pants now when I travel, and I always have a plan for a swift and safe evacuation.
- [26:40]
David Bowie
In this dirty old part of the city where the sun refused to shine People tell me there ain't now my girl you're so young and pretty and one thing I know is true if you did before your time is due I know Watch my daddy in bed at dying Watch his Hampton turn greater he's been working and slaving his oh yes, I know he's been working so hard ma Been working too, baby every night yeah, yeah, yeah we gotta get out of this place if it's the last thing we ever do we gotta get out of this place, girl Is a better life for me.
- [27:57]
Kevin
And you we'll be right back, folks. This episode of Risk is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen, have you thought about what you want your 2025 story to be? You know, a therapist can be like a story coach. Who is your editorial partner helping you write new chapters and create the meaning in the story. You are living into the story you deserve to live. I remember in therapy, gosh, this must have been like 10 years ago. A therapist led me through brainstorming on myths in my life. Things that I believed that followed a certain storyline that were just not necessarily true. That was really profound to kind of step out of the fishbowl and reassess. I've definitely learned positive coping skills from my therapy. And boundaries. Boundaries with others and with myself. Therapy is not just for people who have experienced serious trauma. It's a way of helping anyone to be your better self. And the thing about BetterHelp is it's completely online. It's affordable and convenient. It's a network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists. Lots of specialties. You can look for someone who meets your specific needs. Needs. And you can switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. So write your story with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com risk today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp H lp.com risk.
- [30:00]
Ben Stiller
Hey, I'm Ben Stiller. I'm Adam Scott. And we make a TV show called Severance. On January 17th, Severance is back for season two on Apple TV plus and and we can't wait for you guys to see it. And before the premiere, Ben and I are going to be binging season one and putting out daily recap podcasts. Yep, each weekday beginning January 7th, we'll be dropping an episode featuring exclusive behind the scenes tidbits and brilliant insights from our cast and crew and us, Patricia Arquette, Brit Lauer, Zack Cherry, John Turturro. The list goes on. All your favorite Lumen employees, their friends, families, enemies in your feed every single weekday. And here's the best part. After that, we're going to keep going. Tune in weekly as we recap every episode of Season two. The podcast drops on the same day the episode comes out. It's the Severance Podcast with Ben and Adam on Apple Podcasts, the Odyssey app, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [30:59]
Advertisement Speaker 4
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- [32:01]
Advertisement Speaker 2
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- [32:59]
Advertisement Speaker 5
We're back.
- [33:04]
David Bowie
Now my girl. You're so young and pretty and one thing I know is true yeah, you'll be dead before your time is due. Know it?
- [33:19]
John La Sala
This is the animals behind me. And we just heard Michael McFadden's story evacuation plan. But I should mention that Michael also suggested his titles, either Ex Lax Patriots or the Escape Shardist, both of which I find too amusing. Not to mention. Michael McFadden is from Rochester, New York, where my friends John and Walter live. But now he's in New York City and still loves to travel, usually without shitting himself. You can find him on Instagram hotgunmikey, where he's actually uploaded a photo of his temporary replacement passport from his misadventures in Shanghai, China. China. Shanghai, China. Or whatever. Anyway, I edited and sound designed that story and I recorded it with Michael just a few weeks ago. Michael actually works in the film industry as a sound guy, so it was a real treat for me to work with a fellow audio professional who knew all about how to mic himself and shit himself. But I also want to thank Ramona B. Who joined me on that session to give Michael a small but responsive audience to tell his story to. Sitting in on recording sessions is just one of the perks of supporting us on Patreon. And another perk bonus stories like this one from Kelly Han, with sound design by our own Jeff Barr.
- [34:44]
David Bowie
There's not a crib here.
- [34:47]
Kevin
There's not a crib here.
- [34:51]
John La Sala
There's all that and a bag of chips waiting for you@patreon.com risk. Okay, next we're gonna hear from Sean Wellington, who recorded this story with our own Taj Easton just last fall. It's a story we call the right place.
- [35:12]
David Bowie
Somewhere, baby somehow I know it, baby we gotta get out of this place if it's the last thing we ever do we gotta get out of this place girl is a matter life for me and you Believe me, baby I know it baby, you know it too.
- [35:57]
Advertisement Speaker 5
I am from New York and I am very much a New Yorker. But I moved to North Carolina in 2010. There was family stuff and money problems and the booze. The booze. I plan to stay in North Carolina for a while, but two years later, in the spring of 2012, I need to leave. I need to get out. Once again, I am broke. I am drinking too much. And this time it feels different. Really different. Something needs to change and change fast. So I start looking for ESL teaching gigs. I've done this on and off for years. English as a second language. It doesn't really matter where. Sure, there's the adventure, the wanderlust, the different cultures, all of that cool. But really, it just needs to pay well. And I find something great. Pay and perks. And I learned that drinking is illegal in this country. So I can also get dry. It is perfect. I apply, I interview, I get the job. It all happens so quickly. I'll be teaching English as a second language in Saudi Arabia. Paperwork is sent over. I see a bunch of questions. Then I see one about religion. Nobody said anything about religion in the interview. My name is Sean Wellington. I am Jewish. I do not know how I have this name, but I do. And I don't practice. I'm barely Jewish. Nonetheless, I do some Googling, try to learn a little more. And I do. I learned in Saudi Arabia, and this is 2012, that Jews are de facto illegal, but de jure not illegal. I read this line a few times. I'm focusing on the de jure. That's the stuff that really matters. It doesn't say that Jews are legal. It just says they're not illegal. No idea what this means in practice, but I'm still going. I mean, that question about religion. I check N A or maybe it was other. I check that box and I tell a few people that I'm leaving and where I'm going. A couple of them seem worried, weren't worried at all when I taught in Japan or Argentina. I say, don't worry about it. It's gonna be fine. I need to leave. I need to make some money, and I need to stop drinking. One academic year in outdone. Six weeks later, I arrive in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia. And I learn a lot about this place in the first week already I can tell it is a beautiful country, real big sun, really kind people. I also learned that if you take a photo in the mall, you will get stopped. And the mutwa, the religious police, they will take your phone and you will be scared because you don't know exactly what's on that phone. And you do not know what will happen if they find something they don't like. And the one who speaks some English will say, don't take photos in public because you might take a photo of a woman and then there'll be a pause and he'll look you in the eyes and he'll say, never take photos of women in Saudi Arabia. I also learn about the central square. This is where you can go, though I did not to watch executions. And one of the reasons you might be executed is waging war on God. Waging war on God. I do not know what this means. And I am not criticizing anything about Saudi Arabia. But after learning this about a week in, I'm starting to feel scared. I'm scared because I feel like this might not be the right place for a guy like me. Yeah, I'm Jewish and I'm a New Yorker. A friend of mine recently told me, sean, you are constitutionally unable to keep your mouth shut. And she's not wrong. I've got this thing, this tendency I always have. I don't filter so much. I test things out. I search for learning shit and the truth. And sometimes I step over these boundaries and I get in a little trouble. In fact, I think I do it more now in middle age than I ever have. It's weird, but it's true. And I kinda like it. Breaking the rules, but only when I know what'll happen when I get caught. And I don't know that here I don't know what'll happen. So, okay, no photos of Saudi women, no waging war on God, whatever that means. I'll just keep my mouth shut and follow the rules. A couple days later, I go to orientation. King Saud University, that's where I'll be teaching. And there's teachers from all over the world. It's pretty cool. And that's when the higher ups, they show us the rules. The rules for the classroom. A list of more than 40 topics we cannot talk about. No exceptions. None. The ones you might expect. Politics, religion, sex. But others, there are so many others. Sports and cars and travel. I don't get it. I get my schedule. I'm teaching an advanced class, which means these kids, 18, 19, 20 year old kids, they can already have a solid conversation. But I can't imagine what we're going to talk about. I'm hoping the textbook. That'll give me some ideas, but it doesn't. It's boring, like most textbooks. But hey, it's a job. I know why I'm here. And I haven't drunk since I got here more than a week ago. Day one. I meet my students. 17 of them. All young men. That's how it goes in the kingdom. They don't look like the college kids in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Mostly it's how they dress. They wear these really nice long white robes called thobs and sandals. I get to it that first day in the classroom. I teach, they practice, we leave. And this is how it goes, right? And sometimes they'll ask questions. And some of those questions I'm not allowed to answer. I'm not allowed So I deflect or I make a face or shrug my shoulders. I teach, they practice. We leave. Keep your mouth shut, Sean. Follow the rules. Summer turns into fall. I've settled in some. I'm going to the gym every day, no drinking. And I've made a few friends, but it's hard, and it feels like it's getting harder and harder. Some teachers have quit. I tell one of those new friends I made a teacher friend that I'm thinking of quitting as well. I say, no, this might not be the right place for me. I mean, I know my students names, they wear the thobs, they pray here at the school twice a day. But I have questions. I've got a lot of questions that I'm not allowed to ask them. And they have questions too, that I'm not allowed to answer. Now, my teacher friend, he's Middle Eastern and Muslim, so he knows the lay of the land. He knows how things work. I say, look, if I break any of those rules, nothing major, you know, the ones in the classroom, what's gonna happen? Will I get reprimanded? Maybe sent home? Possibly something worse? And he says he doesn't know. But then he tells me, you know, Sean, there are royal princes all around this school. They dress the same, so you won't know if they're a prince or not. And I'm sure you have one in your class. I nod my head, okay. He doesn't answer my question about breaking the rules. He does have a look on his face. I feel like he's saying, be careful. Back in the classroom with this new piece of information, one of my students, Fahad, he asks a question. Fahad is 19 years old. He's been abroad. He's traveled more than the other students. He's the guy that wears the sneakers, the Nike or the Adidas. And he asks me why I came here to the kingdom. He has asked me this question before. Others have asked me this question as well. And I answer it. I say, fahad, I came here to teach English. I came here to learn about your culture. But at this point, I think everybody in the classroom knows it's more than just that. Don't know what will happen if I say the wrong thing, but I feel like I need to talk a little bit more, more. I need to share a little bit more. And so I just say it, the truth. I also needed to make some money. That's another reason why I came here. And they laugh. Fahat says, you came to the right place if you want to make money. Things change some after that in the classroom, we're learning a little bit more about each other. We don't talk about religion, sex or politics. None of that. I mean, there's a prince in my classroom, after all. But we're talking. And, yeah, I'm breaking the rules a little bit, pushing the boundaries some, but I like it. I really like it. And one day in early spring, a few of them, they invite me to lunch after class. Fahad says it's all on the DL. He knows the slang, right? And we meet, and I eat their food at a restaurant where they come with their families, and they tell me more about their lives. And I do the same stuff we do not talk about in the classroom. And I like these guys. I've come to trust them. So right there in the restaurant, I just tell them the other reason I came here. Booze. I need to quit drinking. Definitely on the list. Can't talk about that. But we're not at school. We're not in a classroom. And they laugh. And Fahad says he came to the right place to quit drinking. And now it's late spring, and I've made it to the end of the academic year. Almost many teachers have quit. It's still hard. But here I am back in the classroom, and there's a question, and it's from Fahad. Now, I have been waiting for a question about religion or politics or sex, the stuff we do not talk about and cannot talk about. Fahad's question is about 9, 11. They want to know more about me. Where I was, what I think. And look, at this point, they've shared a lot with me. So I tell them that I was there in New York, watched the towers come down. I learned about those deaths, all of them. And I see a friend of mine, she was in Tower One. I'm just sticking to the facts here. It's gotta be safe, right? Everyone's listening, all 17. And I think, you know, I've made it this far. I'm almost done. I haven't gotten in any trouble. And this feels important to talk about this. And that's what I do. I mean, it's a constitutional thing, right? So I tell him, look, guys, I don't know what's true. I really don't. Just what I've heard. I look back at the door, the classroom door, make sure it's closed. It is, I say. What I've learned is that the people on the planes and the people that were behind it, at least some of them, they were from Saudi Arabia. Seventeen kids. Young men. I'm looking at their faces. They were kids back then. And this time nobody's laughing. Fahad says, no, it was the Jews. They're behind everything. They were behind 9, 11. He's smiling and I can see his new puma's under his thob. The others are nodding. And I wonder, did I just wage war against God? I want to say something. I really do. I mean, I want to tell him I'm a Jew. I'm Jewish. Your teacher, the one you've gotten to know all of these months, the one who you've shared stuff with all of these months. The guy that went out to the restaurant with you. All of that. But I don't. I say nothing. Not about any of this stuff no more. But we do talk. We mostly disagree, but we talk. And that feels really good. That week there is a meeting with some higher ups and I'm asked to leave 10 days before my contract ends. No drama, just go quietly. I get my last paycheck, as promised. I really want to head somewhere to have a drink. I want to drink. But I can't. I can't. I also want so much to ask Fahad, were you the prince? But I can't. No goodbyes, no teachers, students, and no Fahad. I never get to know if he's a prince. And he never gets to know that I'm a Jew. Nobody does. But here's the thing, for a guy like me, big mouth, rule breaking New Yorker. Yeah, Saudi Arabia can be dangerous. And it can also be beautiful. I made the money and the booze out of my system and I'm heading home. So, Fahad, I didn't always agree with you, but you were right about one thing. Because in the end, and I came to the right place.
- [50:00]
David Bowie
Bangkok, Oriental setting, in the city. Don't know what the city is getting the creme de la creme of the.
- [50:06]
Advertisement Speaker 5
Chess world in a show with everything but you. Brynner.
- [50:15]
John La Sala
This is Risk. It's me, John, still covering for Kevin while he's gallivanting in Thailand. And we just heard from Sean Wellington, the founder and host of the Suicide Noted podcast, where he has these really honest conversations with attempted suicide survivors. You can find that on the True Stories that Matter YouTube channel or just plug Suicide Noted into your podcast app. But I gotta tell you, Sean's story kind of puts this era of misinformation we're living through in a bit of perspective for me. I mean, at least here in America, or in the west in general, we at least tell ourselves we're seeking truth that we're cutting through propaganda from the powers that be or at least the people on the opposite side from wherever political position we're coming from. Right? But in some places in the world, it's literally illegal to not only question this propaganda, but to even talk about it. I want us to hear stories like Sean's to remind us how much more we actually have to lose. And what's this 80s music pulsing behind me now? It's a song that leapt to mind as I thought about Kevin having adventures of his own in Bangkok. It's Murray Head singing a song written by the guys from ABBA with lyrics co written by Tim Rice of like Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals fame. So thank you all for sticking with me to the end. I'm gonna sign off, leave you to contemplate one night in Bangkok. And in a moment we'll get a check in from Kevin who's like six or seven nights in Bangkok at the this point. So later.
- [52:12]
David Bowie
So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlors.
- [52:29]
Kevin
Hey everyone, I'm back, back here on the streets of Bangkok. And I have to say that was a fabulous episode. I'll tell you, I. I am glad I have not yet shit my pants here in Bangkok. But hearing that story again made me remember. Oh my God, I have to go get some Tums. And first I have to figure out what Tums would be called in Thai. Because here's another adaptation that you need to take on. You need to work your palate, inoculate yourself to taking spicier and spicier food because it doesn't matter how many times you say, no, no, just a little, just a little, little, little spicy, very mild. You'll get something that could peel the paint off the walls. So I'll have to adapt in that way too. And then Saudi Arabia, well, you know, it's funny, like they call banquet the city of contrast, because you've probably heard, as Murray Head was referring to, it's probably has more red light districts than any city in the world. It's an incredibly sexual city, right? And yet sex toys are illegal. I was like, oh my God, like so much of the way I have fun is with sex toys. And you know, well have to like, maybe do some adaptation in that way too. But then again, it's also known for being a place that doesn't enforce its.
- [54:05]
Michael McFadden
Laws.
- [54:08]
Kevin
Super strictly at least. Or is a little bit like, you know, unpredictable as to when or how it it might enforce its laws. So anyway, I am Having a great time, to be honest with you. I have met some absolutely fabulous people and people who have really lit up when they heard that I have this podcast and that I'm looking for people with fascinating stories because the city is filled with them. Of course, I've met some amazing gay people and had some amazing fun in that realm, too. The. The final Airbnb. The final place I'm staying is not an Airbnb. It's actually a gay hotel where all kinds of craziness happens. But anyway, no, I am having the time of my life and learning so much and meeting so many new people. And so I can't wait till later this year to really kind of start incorporating the stories of people and to meet more and more people here from the dynamic connection that we do with Risk. You know, the way that this show brings people together, I hope that I can really take that to another level by being in a different country. All right, gang, that's all from me. Take care, and I'll try not to get hit by a motorbike.
- [55:40]
Advertisement Speaker 5
Here I get my kids above the waistline, sunshine.
- [55:45]
Kevin
Oh, I'm back. Here's a little addendum. I turned a corner and there's a sky path to the park, so fuck Google Maps. No, I. You know, I don't know if you've noticed with the traffic. You can hear all this traffic. There's no honking at my place in Times Square. I'm on the 35th floor and I'm hearing honking down below, like, all day and all night. Thais consider honking extremely rude. And they are very, very serious about politeness and graciousness and respect. So. Although I guess they could use mufflers.
- [56:43]
John La Sala
Today's the day. Take a risk.
- [56:48]
Advertisement Speaker 5
These are violent criminals, so they're not gonna go down easy.
- [56:50]
Kevin
ABC Tuesdays, Cops.
- [56:52]
Michael McFadden
Let's get this done.
- [56:53]
David Bowie
Do it.
- [56:54]
Kevin
The rookie is back.
- [56:56]
Michael McFadden
We have two new rookies starting today.
- [56:58]
David Bowie
Howdy.
- [56:59]
Advertisement Speaker 5
Being a cop is stressful. 24. 7.
- [57:01]
Advertisement Speaker 3
Every year on the job is different.
- [57:02]
Advertisement Speaker 5
And Training day, we have a serial killer at large.
- [57:05]
Kevin
Never ends.
- [57:09]
David Bowie
We need an ambulance.
- [57:11]
Kevin
The rookie. All new Tuesdays on ABC and stream on Hulu.