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- [00:00]
Kevin Allison
Hey, folks, this is Kevin. On this week's episode of Risk, you'll hear Larry Dorsey, Jr. And so, over.
- [00:07]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
A span of weeks, we get to know my dad in ways we never thought possible. Yeah. Oh, his favorite color's green. Wow. I didn't know that. Oh, he has a dildo in his room. What the hell?
- [00:21]
Kevin Allison
You'll also be hearing from our special guest this episode, Adara's Bell, who shared two of my favorite stories on the podcast in the past couple of years in recorded conversations with our editor, Taj Easton. But first, I wanna remind you that our first live show of 2025 is happening next month. It's on March 27, and it's probably one of only four live shows we'll be doing in New York all year. And we'll be taking short stories from the audience at the show. So start preparing your stories now. Everything you need to know is at risk-show.com live.
- [01:04]
Adarius Bell
We'll be right back.
- [01:06]
Taj Easton
Where'd you get those shoes? Easy. They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the mirror, many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker, and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com if you.
- [01:36]
Instacart Ad Voice
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- [01:51]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
So what are you waiting for?
- [01:53]
Instacart Ad Voice
Free snacks with your order? Because, yeah, Instacart has those, too. Fees, taxes, and terms apply. Eligible items only, while supplies Last expires on 2.
- [02:01]
Jameer Pond
9.
- [02:02]
Zola Ad Voice
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- [03:02]
Dulce Sloan
Wow.
- [03:03]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
What's up?
- [03:04]
Taj Easton
I just bought and financed a car.
- [03:05]
Adarius Bell
Through Carvana in minutes.
- [03:07]
Zola Ad Voice
You, the person who agonized four weeks over whether to paint your walls eggshell.
- [03:11]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
Or off white, bought and financed a car in min minutes.
- [03:13]
Taj Easton
They made it easy, transparent terms, customizable, down and monthly.
- [03:17]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
Didn't even have to do any paperwork. Wow.
- [03:21]
Adarius Bell
Hey, have you checked out that spreadsheet.
- [03:23]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
I sent you for our dinner Options.
- [03:25]
Zola Ad Voice
Finance your car with Carvana and experience total control financing subject to credit approval.
- [03:32]
Kevin Allison
Now here's the show.
- [04:06]
RZA Ad Voice
I feel kind of standing next to you, baby girl how do I look in my do?
- [04:14]
Adarius Bell
Would you tell me the truth?
- [04:16]
RZA Ad Voice
Stay with me.
- [04:23]
Kevin Allison
Hello, folks. This is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison, but more importantly, I am joined today by Adarius Bell, who chose this song. Behind us now.
- [04:38]
Jameer Pond
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. What's up, Kevin? How you doing, man?
- [04:42]
Kevin Allison
I'm good, Atarius. How you doing?
- [04:45]
Jameer Pond
I'm good, man. I'm just here to kick off Black History Month 2025. Like, we know, like, the way I can. And speaking of black lives, what do black people love more than Dragon Ball and Do Rags? The music you hear behind you is Thundercats. Dragon Ball. Durag.
- [05:05]
Kevin Allison
All right, all right. No, but it is so great to have you co hosting today because the two times that you have shared stories on the show, the one that Taj told about the deer in the road and the more recent one about going down to discover things about your family were two really amazing moments, I think, in the past couple of years. So you're already kind of like a part of the Risk family.
- [05:39]
Jameer Pond
Oh, man. Thank you so much, Kevin. And it feels really good to be the black extended cousin of Risk. We all family now, man.
- [05:51]
Kevin Allison
That's right. That's right. And we've got good stories today for Black Lives number eight episode.
- [05:59]
Jameer Pond
Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I just want to be frank with the folks. I'm here to share as much as my blackness I can with the audience. I'm just excited to be here and sharing all these fun black stories. We Have a bunch of really good stories from amazing presenters and whatever I can do to lend my blackness for this episode, let's do it.
- [06:21]
Kevin Allison
All right. All right. So who we about to hear?
- [06:24]
Jameer Pond
All right, in a little bit we're going to hear from Dulce Sloan and Jamir Pond. But first we're going to start with the story from Larry Dorsey Jr. He told this story in NYC at our final show of 2024 and it was off the hook. Larry is such a pleasure to have on the show so we immediately asked him to come on back and record another story. So that's in the works. We can't tell you about that one for right now. Here's a story from good old Larry and it's called this is a Wild ride folks. This one's called Catfishing with Dad.
- [07:27]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
So I was at a six story sex club in Thailand. I'm joking. I almost didn't make it to the show today. My dad had to give me a ride and I got an old school black dad. He's the kind of dude with no teeth but loves eating steak. He played in the NFL. He's like a really militant kind of dude. And on the way here the car started making noises and I turned and looked at him and I was like, dad, what's that sound? And he looked at me and he goes, it's the sound of you not walking, motherfucker. So there I was, 14 years old with my 13 year old younger brother looking on the Internet for my dad's dick Picasso. We were looking on the Tinder of the early 2000s Craigslist Casual encounters and we were scrolling forward and we knew how it looked because we used to do like, you know, when my parents got divorced, it was a frat house kind of energy and we would do like the pig trough pee. All the men know when you go in a men's bathroom you just pee all together. So we knew the veins in my dad's dig. We knew how it looks, right? You know, and so we were looking for it and we couldn't find. Was tough, it was difficult. We're going through Craigslist and we keep getting distracted by other people's posts. And to describe my house and the situation, peep it like this. We had dial up Internet. This is the early 2000s. So you hear that? You know, remember the noise, right? The modem was bigger than my torso. We were using the old school mouse as we scrolled and it was kind of chilly in the house because this was in San Francisco. So we like that weather that most people who go to California don't expect, Nice, chilly refrigerator weather. We love that. And the house was a lack of a woman's touch. Not to generalize, but yes, women are much more cleaner than men. Men are slobs. And it was just, you know, sweatpants and chilling. And we were scrolling through Craigslist looking for my dad's dick. So the reason we're looking for it is when my parents got divorced, my dad was having trouble dating. My dad was a really old school black dude. He has two deep scars in his face. And he grew up in the south. And so he had a lot of different cultural sensibilities than people in the Bay Area, you know, and when. And it's funny because we saw him on Craigslist. That's how we knew that he was trying to find a date. We would see him on it, and we knew how to navigate it a little bit. And he would be like, are you guys sure you're ready for a stepmom? And we would go, as long as she got a fat ass. Because we were in elementary, we went. We had different minds. I don't know if you're familiar with San Francisco. Like, we were already going to Pride Festival and parades, and we were going to Folsom Street Fair. We were crazy little kids. Like, kids in the yards would be like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. And me and my brother would be like, nana got a fat ass, Judy got cooties, Judy got booty. I don't know what y'all talking about. So we're scrolling, we're looking. We can't find it. We're like. And we knew he was gonna come home. So we're like, okay. I look at my brother, okay, let's delete all the history. He's not good with computers. So we're gonna delete all the history. He won't know. We'll try again tomorrow, right? The next day comes around, we start going and looking through it again. And by this time, BBC was not a British news channel. It was an indicator if it was our dad or not, right? And he had a specificity. My mom wasn't Asian, but my dad was in San Francisco. There's a lot of Asian people. So my dad was looking specific for Asians. So it was like BBC looking for educated Asian woman, right? And my dad has a master's degree. So he was like, I'm looking for someone who, you know, who can, you know, we can have good conversations with. So my brother and I, we look and we Go. I think. I think we kind of have that moment where we're like, I think this is. I think this is it, right? And we kind of look through it. We count the veins and shit. We're like, okay. And so we decided to respond. And my brother, like, we grew up as twins, so we had kind of, like, this telepathy thing going on. So he's not my twin, but we grew up that way. And so before I could say anything, I look at him and he looks at me and he goes, Jackie Tran, 5 5, kinesiology major at San Francisco State University. And I was like, genius. We were smart little kids, right? So we write that down and we send it, and then we start plotting on how we're gonna respond because, you know, he's gonna probably ask for pictures. And at that time, I was just leaving my freshman year of high school, and I remember this girl who was a senior, and she used to Dr. Sophisticated, and she looked like she was older. And I was like, oh, MySpace, she probably has one. Let's find it. We looked it up. We're looking, we're looking. We're like, okay. And my brother. Look at him. He gives me a thumbs up. We start getting her pictures, right? Getting ready to send it to my dad. And my dad responds really fast. He was at work, so we weren't expecting him to respond so fast. Oh. And he was like, hey, send me a pic, right? And we're like, shit, what did we say? We wanted to play hard to get. So me and my brother and I, we were like, I kind of feel uncomfortable send you a pic without knowing you. Could you send me a pic of how you look first? And my father responds. He goes, well, due to the nature of my ad with my penis in it, I thought a picture of you wouldn't be too much to ask for. And we were like, just. Just please just send me a picture how you look. And he sends a picture, like in a suit. We've never even seen the picture. He sends, sends the picture. And we're like, wow. From nasty to classy. I like it. We start flirting with my dad, and he's like, oh, you like that, right? And we messaged him back with a picture, you know, and he goes, oh, I like your picture. And I was like, what else do you like? And he goes, I like a lot of things. What are you doing tonight? And I was all like, oh, tonight we're gonna be studying and thinking about you. And he goes, what are you gonna be thinking about? And we put your Fat black cock. And so we had to stop it right there. Cause it was just too much. Cause my dad was like, you should see it in person. And we're like, oh, okay, we're stopping. We stop. And we couldn't keep it to ourselves. Cause we were laughing so hard. So I immediately call up my godbrother. I'm like, hey, bro, shit's going down. You need to come over here. And so he comes over the house. We show him what's been happening, the back and forth. And he was like, yo, I just got a new cell phone. Pops doesn't have my number. If it comes down to it, we could use this as Jackie's number. We're like, that's a fucking genius idea. Right? And so over a span of weeks, we get to know my dad in ways we never thought possible. Yeah. Oh, his favorite color is green. Wow. I didn't know that. Oh, he has a dildo in his room. What the hell? We're finding all his sex toys. We're like, we're met.
- [14:53]
Adarius Bell
We're.
- [14:53]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
We're sexting with him, messaging him in all types of freaky ways. And we're. We're dying, right? We're just loving it. We're eating it all up. No pun intended. And. And we have a great. By the way, our father is an amazing father, and he was an amazing husband. The reason my parents got divorced was two of my uncles were Brut murdered. And after that, my dad just went into, like, an emotional, like, disconnection. And my mom. My mom was, like, a lot a spicy Latina. And she was just like. They were just, like, clashing. They couldn't connect. And that's pretty much what led them to the divorce. Just my dad's emotional unavailability. And so he was a great father. There was no weird trauma, no sexual abuse. None of that. None of that. It was great. It was. Everything was consensual as parent and child. And so. Yes. And so he. He messages us after. You know, after this time. He messages us. Hey, I'm actually. Because we were delaying meeting up with him, we kept delaying him. We kept trying to find ways to, like, extend the meeting dates. And we're like, how the fuck do we navigate this? And so he sends us a message going, hey, I just want to let you know that I'm really starting to catch feelings for you. And I was like, oh, no, me. I was like, fuck, this is not good. Because originally we wanted our dad to feel good because he would come home and he was not Having luck with dating. We wanted to, like. We didn't think of it so much. Catfishing wasn't a thing back then, you know, so we didn't think of it as a prank or anything. We thought of it as more as, like, trying to help our dad through the lack of like responses. And now it was getting. We were getting. I felt like a fucking CIA double agent, you know? I mean, I'm in too deep, man. I'm in too deep. And so. And so when he send that to us, I'm feeling bad. My brother is like, yo, what can we get out of this? He's like, let's see, right? Let's see if we could get things out of him, right? And so my brother, or we messaged him together, and we're like, hey, your sons are probably so lucky to have you as a dad. You're just such a great person. And he goes, oh, those kids are troublemakers. And, you know, they're not. If it was back in my day, I would discipline them the way it's supposed to be, but, nah, I can't do that. And then she was like, oh, they're just kids, you know, she. Us, kids, you know, they're probably, you know, they're learning. And he's like, you're right. You know, I love my kids. I dedicate my life to them. And she was all like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I keep saying she, but yeah, yeah, you probably really spoil them a lot and buy them a lot of gifts, right? And he was like, I would like to spoil you. And my brother looked at me and goes, video games, dawg.
- [17:35]
Kevin Allison
I'm like, bro, we're gonna blow our.
- [17:37]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
Cover if you ask for a fucking video game. Let us get the new Madden NBA 2K. Like, no, that's not gonna work. And so I was just like, yeah, I can't wait for you to fuck the shit out of me. And he responds like, I don't even wanna fuck the shit out of you anymore. I just wanna make passionate love to you. And that's when me and him looked at each other like, yeah, we gotta stop, bro. This is getting fucking weird. And so we just cut it all the way off and ghost him no more. And I know, I know. And what you want? Send us dick pics. What the fuck? Eat my ass from the back. Like, what the fuck? Okay. And so it was sad because he would come home from work before that and be like, you guys are about to have a stepmom, right? We'd be holding our laughs in like, oh, shit. And then now he would come home and he was just kind of, you know, melancholy and not in the same space that he used to be in. And so the new Jordans came out, the new shoes, right? And my brother and I, we're like, okay, you know, maybe, maybe he'll buy us those shoes. All right? So we go up to him, hey, dad, you know, the new shoes came out. You know, we've been, we've been on our best behavior. Do you think you could buy us those shoes? And he was like, hell, nah. I've been working since I was four years old. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just to let y'all know, my dad grew up in Texas in the 50s, so he picked cotton. Literally. Like, you know those slave pictures, like with the little kids just looking like that and shit? My dad has those pictures, like real. I know that's not funny, but. Fuck kind of funny to me, but it's like, because it's fucked up, you know? And so my dad, you know, he had a traumatized like, like the shit you read about, like, like racial history and stuff. Like, my dad went through that shit. And so. And he always looks at us, you niggas is light skinned and all, you know, I mean, like, whatever, fuck that. But I'm cinnamon sugar. Anyways, so we're like, I wonder if you'd buy the shoes for Jackie. We messaged him, right? And we go, hey, so sorry, had a family emergency. I disappeared. I apologize, right? And he goes, oh, I was worried about you. I'm so sorry about your family emergency. Is there anything I could do to help? And we're like, well, you know, we spent the last of our money, you know, we're a starving college student. We spent the last of our money on a flight back home, you know, we were wondering if we could get some shoes. And he goes, he goes, what kind of shoes are you looking for? And we put the Jordans. He goes, wow, my son's one of those shoes. And we go, wow, you're such a good dad for buying your sons those shoes. And he goes, well, you know what, I'll buy you those shoes and take you out to dinner. And we put our favorite restaurant. And he goes, oh, that's my son's favorite restaurant. So now he's happy. We notice that he's happy. And he gets all ready. He gets dressed up and, you know, like an old school black dude. He got the feather in the hat, the boom boom, putting all the spray. He gives us a hundred dollars each. He's like, here, you guys, take some money. You know what I mean? Have a good. I'm going to be gone for a little bit. Have a good time, right? Once he leaves, we immediately call a taxicab, right? But the taxi cab is taking a little longer. So he gets to the restaurants, like 30 minutes before we arrive, right? So we're riding in the taxi, we get there. My God brother's with us too, because we had gave him the cell phone number of our godbrother. So we're contacting him through that, and he's blowing the phone up right now because it's been 30 minutes. He's blowing the phone up and, you know, cell phone minutes back then before 8pm so he was willing to risk it. He's like, right? And so we get to the restaurant, and my brother and I, we tell my God brother to wait outside. When my brother and I walk in and we see him, he's like sitting right in front, and he looks at us, and he had a newspaper, and he looks at us, he goes. He's waving his hand. Just get out, get out. Leave, Go. Right? Cause he's thinking that we followed him or something like that, right? Because we're, you know, we're class clowns at school. And so we walk in and just sit in front of him. We don't say a word. And we're holding. We're like biting our tongues. We're like, don't laugh, don't laugh. Please don't laugh. Please don't laugh. Please don't laugh. And so we sit down. We sit down in front of him and you know that meme or that gif with the person who's doing, like, there's all types of math and equations behind them, and they're trying to make that connection. He hits one of those and then he goes, you motherfuckers. Right? And the whole restaurant turns, look, we're the only black people in the restaurant, right? So they all look like, what's going on? And the waitress kind of looks and realizes that it's our dad. And right before anybody could say anything, my brother goes, are you still gonna buy us those shoes? He didn't buy us the shoes, but he did buy us dinner. And my godbrother came in all, you know, shy, and he bought my godbrother dinner as well. And he ended up getting off of Craigslist, but he ended up marrying my stepmom, a Japanese exchange student. And I have a wonderful little sister who he treats and spoils like a princess. And My dad is happy now and this Christmas he will be buying my little sister a pair of Jordan shoes. I'm Larry Dorsey Jr. Thank you so much.
- [22:54]
Adarius Bell
We'll be right back.
- [22:56]
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- [23:54]
Zola Ad Voice
Every week on the Moff Podcast we.
- [23:56]
Moth Podcast Voice
Share stories that are funny, strange, heartbreaking.
- [23:59]
Zola Ad Voice
And above all true.
- [24:01]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
I myself have been married for 50 years, unfortunately to four different women. It turns out the people I was looking for all my life is what you people would call nerds.
- [24:16]
Zola Ad Voice
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- [24:24]
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- [25:32]
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- [26:02]
Adarius Bell
We'Re back.
- [26:12]
RZA Ad Voice
Who's the black sheep? What's the black sheep? No, not who I am or when I'm coming so you sleep? Wasn't ing my Roma Wasn't in your sphere? No, know who I was but listen.
- [26:21]
Adarius Bell
Here dress the r E S. Yes.
- [26:24]
RZA Ad Voice
I guess I can start if it's all right with you I'll rip this hair when I part Back, middle to the front, no front. Want a good time? Wanna give you what you want? Can I hear a hey now, giddy? Yo, you got a hat? It's for the house. This darling is creative. Black sheep of the native can be violated or even decepticated?
- [26:41]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
I got brothers in the jungle?
- [26:42]
RZA Ad Voice
Cousins on a quest? Deborah, daughter and uncles and pea farmers may they rest? Guess wicked what, what, what, how? Mr. Long Dress Black sheep slam now no, you heard the others only still the lovers? Then of course the choice is yours? You can get with this or you can get with that? You can get with this or you.
- [26:59]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
Can get with that?
- [27:00]
RZA Ad Voice
You can get with this or you.
- [27:01]
Adarius Bell
Can get with that?
- [27:02]
RZA Ad Voice
You can get with this or this.
- [27:03]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
Is where it's at?
- [27:04]
RZA Ad Voice
You can get with this or you.
- [27:06]
Adarius Bell
Can get with that?
- [27:07]
RZA Ad Voice
You can get with this or you.
- [27:08]
Adarius Bell
Can get with that?
- [27:09]
RZA Ad Voice
You can get with this or you.
- [27:10]
Adarius Bell
Can get with that?
- [27:14]
Jameer Pond
Welcome back to Risk, y'all. I'm your guest host, Adarius Bell, here with my guy, Kevin Allison.
- [27:20]
Kevin Allison
Hello.
- [27:21]
Jameer Pond
This time we're hearing Black Sheep behind us. One of my favorite songs. My mom used to club to this song.
- [27:27]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
She.
- [27:27]
Jameer Pond
This is her jam.
- [27:29]
Kevin Allison
Oh, wow.
- [27:30]
Jameer Pond
Yeah, she used to be. No comment on mamas moving in the club. Speaking of moms, we just heard a story from Larry Dorsey Jr. With catfishing with dad.
- [27:43]
Kevin Allison
Oh, my God. I couldn't believe this when this came down the pike. It was so great to meet Larry because he was just so much fun and so great to work with. And when we said, oh, we want a new story from you, you know, whenever you can. And that very night that he told the story, he was like, oh, yeah, I'll email you with one tomorrow. So, like, we're going to have Larry on again real soon for.
- [28:08]
Adarius Bell
For sure.
- [28:08]
Jameer Pond
Yeah. That's amazing. And also, you know, just the things we do to help our parents out. You know, the things we do to help them find love. The things we do to help them live their best life. And this was the most extreme version of it. But we've all been there. Don't worry, Larry, we've been there too.
- [28:27]
Kevin Allison
Although I have never seen a dick.
- [28:29]
Adarius Bell
Pic from my dad.
- [28:31]
Jameer Pond
I'm glad phones didn't exist at the time, right, Kevin?
- [28:37]
Kevin Allison
Holy shit. And you, you knew about Larry. Well, you knew about Larry's family already.
- [28:45]
Jameer Pond
Yeah, I'm a football guy, so I did a little research. Shout out Larry. I'm not gonna put your dad on blast. But definitely a baller with a big picture, if you know what I mean.
- [28:59]
Kevin Allison
That's amazing. All right.
- [29:02]
Jameer Pond
Larry is a poet, he's a stand up comedian. He's also performed with the Tony Award winning rap group Freestyle Love supreme. And he can be found online at Larry Dorsey Jr. On TikTok Instagram and whatever you can find him at.
- [29:20]
Kevin Allison
Awesome. All right, so let's get on with it. In a little bit we're going to hear from Jameer Pond, his first time on the podcast. But first a story from Dulce Sloan. Actually it's Dulce's first time on the podcast too. You probably know Dulce, she is a comedian, an actor. She, you probably know her best from the Daily Show. She's a Senior Correspondent since 2017 and she's an Emmy and two time NAACP Image Award winning performer.
- [29:54]
Jameer Pond
That's right, yeah.
- [29:56]
Kevin Allison
And you can find out all about her brand new 2025 stand up tour at Dulce Sloan dot com. Her story was recorded the last time that risk was at San Francisco Sketch Fest back in January of 2024 and we call Dulce's Story.
- [30:26]
RZA Ad Voice
Why would you get with that? You can get with this or this.
- [30:28]
Dulce Sloan
Is where it's where it's at.
- [30:38]
Adarius Bell
So in 2021, while we were still in the middle of a Panasonic, I was like, I'm going to take this time and go on my dream vacation. And my dream vacation was to go to Turks and Caicos because it is. Have you ever seen. I know you haven't heard of it because you don't make enough money. Let me tell you about it. So listen, they don't even tell you about it until you hit a certain tax bracket. I didn't know about it. Right. Well, I first learned about it years ago because. And this is solely for Marie. So Lisa Ray from the Players Club fame used to be the first lady of Turks and Caicos. Has anyone here seen the movie? The Players Club didn't think so. And so that's how I learned about it. Because a very hood ass woman became the first lady of this country. And the reason that she's no longer the first lady is because her husband was arrested for embezzling. And if you know anything about Lisa Ray, that tracks. So like, oh, your husband went to jail for embezzlement. Of course he did. And because nothing I love more than a criminal meeting the Queen of England, right? I love more than a hood bitch from Chicago just having to like, curtsy. I'm like, ugh, look at God. And so it's gorgeous and it's beautiful and it's got like. Cause my homegirl, she was very excited for me to go. She's like, oh, Turza Caicos. I looked it up, it's got Windex water. And I was like, windex? Is that fabuloso water? I don't buy Windex. I don't. What about glass cleaner? Cause Windex is $7.99 and I'm not doing that. So it was my dream to go to Turks and Caicos, and I always wanted to go. And I was like, you know what? I got time, I got some coins, I gotta go. Here's the thing about you achieving a dream in your life is that sometimes people don't want to participate. They don't want to see you succeed, they don't want to see you fly. Because I got to this beautiful country of Turks and Caicos. Now, Turks and Caicos is in the Caribbean, which means everyone there is black except for the tourists and the people who stole the country anyway. And so I get to Turks and Caicos. And the thing that I did not know before I went to Turks and Caicos is that it is a couple's destination. It wasn't on the website. It wasn't on the resort website. Cause I went to an all inclusive resort because duh. And so they started right out. Because when I tell you, the citizens of this country wanted me to know that I was in the wrong place. So I land and there's just shuttles. It's just all set up, right? A van pulls up. Where you going? Where you going? Where you going? And you just name a resort. You don't have to tell them a dress. They just go. They just go. And so I get there, I get in the queue, which is a line, and I travel. And so. And so I'm standing in line, and the guy was like, okay, how many? I was like, oh, it's me. He's like, it's just you. And I was like, what the fuck? Yes. He went, hmm. I was like, I don't like that. And so. And then there's a lady driving the van. Like, okay, Equality. And so she grabs my bag and goes, okay. So where the rest of the. And I was like, it's just me. She's like, just you? I was like, yeah. She goes, hmm. I was like, okay, I don't know what we're doing. I had to pay her $35, right? Also, they take American money, which is confusing. Like, Turks and Caicos is a former British colony that uses American money but has Canadian banks. So say it with me. Tax shelter. So we get to the resort, they drop me off, and I'm checking in, and the Lady's like, okay, Ms. Sloan, you're all set. And then she starts going like this. So I went, what, am I being haunted? What's happening? She's like, oh, just waiting for the rest of your party. Like, no, just you. Hey, bitch, we just met. I don't want to do. She's like, why? I was like, there's a lady I talk to once a week to try to figure that out. Can you give me my armband, please? I'm sober, and I don't want to be. So she gives me the armband, I get my stuff, and I'm going down to the restaurant, right? All inclusive, duh. And this is the thing that I found out while I was walking to the restaurant. I was the only black person at the resort that didn't work there. So I get to the restaurant, and the lady that works there looks at me and goes, you late? I was like, no, I'm not. I don't work here, bitch. Wrong boat. Mine went to America. Your came here. We're different. I don't also. You can't get offended. The only difference between me and someone from the Caribbean is literally a boat stop. I could have been Dominican. Do you understand? I could have been Dominican. Cuban. Puerto Rico. Get a map. What I'm saying is, I am not from there. And that was not my first day at work. So she said, hmm. And then she was rude for me the rest of the time I was there. So I sat down at a four top. Cause I came to eat, and there was no one else there, so why not? Because it was like that weird time in the middle of the day. And so a mail Server comes over and he starts picking up the plates. But he's making direct eye contact with me. And I was like, hello? He's like, oh, it's just you. I said, who the fuck told him? Did the lady from the front desk call? Like, yes. Is the lady coming? She gonna be by herself? Yeah, pick up the plates. Pick them up directly in front of her face so they know she's alone. Okay, love you, bye. So that's. So I'm talking to him. I find out there's a sister resort. And there's always a sister resort because that white man had more money. So the next day I'm having lunch at the sister resort because I paid for it. And so there's a shuttle that comes 10 after the hour, every hour, right? So I'm like, all right, lunch today at the other resort. So I get to the shuttle at 1:08. Cause, you know, early. And I hop on the shuttle and I'm waiting. And it's just me on the shuttle. It's 1:08, it's 1:10, then it's 1:15, then it's 1:20. And I was like, uncle, I don't know his man's name, but I'm respectful. Unk, when we leaving? Oh, I'm just waiting for the rest of your party, motherfucker. No, Unc, it's just me. Just you? Why? Women have money now. I don't know what to tell you, bro. So he goes, oh, come sit up front with me. So now I'm running errands with this uncle. I could have sat in the back with a regular passenger, but I don't know if you know anything about black people. Once we meet each other, we're now related. So now I'm sitting up front with uncle, and it's a 20 minute ride, but it felt like eternity. Here's the thing. He was listening to Christian radio, which I don't care about. I love the Lord. He was listening to Christian rock, which I don't believe in that much. Guitar. Jesus is not involved. You understand what I'm saying? Acoustic. The Lord doesn't believe in that. Listen to gospel and get saved, sir. Why am I in here doing this with you? So we're right? And he goes, it's just you, huh? I was like, yes, sir. He's like, I've been working in this job for 25 years. Nobody seen anybody come to Turks and Caicos by themselves. I was like, okay. And then he keeps talking, but he's not talking to me because he's Like, I seen all kind of people come to Turks and Caicos. I seen mother, daughter, sister, brother, two men, two buddies, two good friends. And I was like, what was the last one? He's like, you know, two men, two good buddies. And I did not have the heart to explain homosexuality to this man. And I just went, they're lovers in the nighttime. He said, what? And I was like, nothing. Leviticus will tell you everything you need to know. So we get to the resort, and uncle drops me off, and it's fine. I have a nice lunch from some man who looks like a snake. He was a very creepy man. You see a human being that's like, oh, you're a cobra standing up. Got it. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. And then the way he had cornrows, but the way they were, like, braided, it made it look like the hood of a cobra. I told him I was staying in a completely different hotel just in case he checked up on me. So I'm waiting for uncle to come pick me back up again. 10 after the hour, every hour. And I go outside waiting for Unc, and I see this van. But it's like, I've never seen a van like this before. Cause it's, like, very open. I'm like, I don't know how you stay in it when it's on, but there's, like, a door in the back, and it's this gorgeous black man. I'm from Atlanta, where they make black people. And I have never seen a man in my life that looked like an actual piece of chocolate. So I have to taste him for science. For science. I'm here to help you understand. And so I was like, what is he doing? And I see him loading white people up into a van to go on adventures. And I know it was white people going on adventures because they had on the white people adventure clothes. Like, the man had, like, on the khaki pants with all the. Like, the car with all the pockets. And then he had on the strappy sandals. And then he has on that shirt that y'all put on babies so they don't burst into flames at the beach. And he had the white stuff in his nose. I thought that was TV shit. I did not know that. What's it called? Zinc. Somebody wiped it. Zinc. I don't need it. I don't know what the fuck it's called. I was born. I'm okay. So he had the shit on his nose, and then his wife had on a hat that wrapped completely around her body. So he's loading up to his wife. And I was like, ooh, there's adventures. And so I walk over to him, and I'm like, hello. Cause I'm not new. And I was like, shake him if you got him. And he's like, hello? And I was like, hi. I love you. He's like, what? I was like, what you doing? He's like, oh, taking him on an adventure. Scanning a QR code. Get a ticket. And I was like, but I miss you. And so he closes this giant door.
- [40:27]
Dulce Sloan
Boom.
- [40:27]
Adarius Bell
And I see this big QR code. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna buy a ticket to his adventure. All right? I gotta see him again. Cause I gotta taste him, so I gotta see him again. So. Logic, right? And so I scanned the QR code. Guess what he was taking these white people to do? He was taking them to ride horses in the ocean. Cause we can't get saddles on dolphins. You ever met a dolphin? They're so fucking fast. Like, they're like, get off me. Like, you're never gonna get a saddle on one. I thought about this a lot. So in that moment, I came up with a cunning plan. I'm gonna ride these horses so I can ride this man. That was my plan. But here's the thing. If you are a woman or a human being that looks like me and you want to go on an adventure, you have to go to the FAQ section of their website. Because I always have cues, and they're usually f A. So I click on the FAQ section, and I'm looking for a very specific question. And you know the question that I'm looking for? And that question is, is there a weight limit? I wouldn't think so, because they're fucking horses. And yet. Cause here's the thing. If I go on a website and the question I see is, is there a weight limit? The answer is yes. It's yes. I've never clicked on it. And it said, nah, big bitch, you good. It's never happened. Bring your mama, too. It's never occurred. So I click on the thing, and it's my fake driver's license weight from the Obama administration. And then to add insult to obesity, the next sentence says, and don't lie. Even 10 pound makes a difference. Excuse me, sir. There are Americans coming. You don't want to make any fucking money. And I'm sorry, do y'all remember horses? Do you know what we call horses? Beasts of burden. We used to put armor on horses. Put armor on ourselves, and then go to War. And you tell me these horses that you have can't handle a big bitch in a two piece bathing suit. Where the fuck did you get these weak ass horses from? Them Budweiser Clydesdales ain't doing shit. Go pick them up. Them Wells Fargo horses been pulling gold through the desert since 1856. They might want a fucking vacation. And then I had to realize, weak ass horses broke ass man. I can't sleep with him.
- [43:29]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
Why would I?
- [43:31]
Adarius Bell
What he's supposed to be a business owner. I'm out here trying to fuck business owners. I'm tired of fucking employees. You see what I'm saying? So I had to pivot. Had to pivot, had to figure something else out. What adventure was I going to go on while I was in Turks and Caicos? So while I was there, I met a black girl and her friends from Atlanta. Because if you go on vacation anywhere in the world, there's going to be a black woman from Atlanta there. I don't know why we're always outside. I don't know what we do. But please know that sometimes I was the black woman from Atlanta. So I'm outside. So you know what I did instead of riding that horse and riding that man? I went parasailing. It was me and a whole other black woman from Atlanta. And they tied us together, strapped a parachute on our backs and tossed us into the air. And while she and I were swag surfing through the clouds, I had but one thought. I'm too heavy for a horse.
- [44:44]
Jameer Pond
But.
- [44:44]
Adarius Bell
I'm light enough for the sky. How the fuck does that work? All right, I'm done. Bye.
- [45:08]
Dulce Sloan
Well, I got a email from my manager. And my manager was like, hey, Jameer, like, we need you to go to D.C. at Howard University for the election night party for Kamala Harris, VP Harris. And I'll be honest, like, I did not want to go. Like, I just kind of was not feeling it. Like, I had election plans already, and they consisted of just staying at home, taking about, like four or five edibles and just, like, hoping for the best. But when. When they said that they needed me to go, like, I kind of knew it was, you know, an offer that I couldn't refuse. So I packed, like, some clothes in a bag and I bought a train ticket and I headed to D.C. and when I got to Howard University, I was. I really. I just wasn't feeling it. Like, there was a lot of people, there was a lot of noise. So I'm kind of like kicking myself for even going. But I grabbed my Press credentials, and I headed to Howard's campus. And when I walked up the hill, the first thing that I heard when I got to Howard's campus was a very loud version of Beyonce's Before I Let Go from the Homecoming album coming from a DJ booth. And the first thing that I saw, like, I looked to my left and I looked through the gate, and it was like, 400 plus people doing the Electric Slide. Like, I. You know, this is, like, my first election party. Like, I had no idea it was going to be like, an election party. And, like, what I was thinking, I was like, you know, my. This is funny that my white job would send me to a black homecoming because I have a. I have a white job. Like, I'll be honest. I work for one of the biggest publishing companies in the world, Vanity Fair, as a. As a video director. You know, this is my first, like, election season. I have been working with journalists throughout the company to help cover, like, the political coverage. So I went to the dnc, I went to the VP debates, and this is, like, the first time that I'm at an election party. So as much as I was excited, I was also like, are y'all not scared? Like, nobody's nervous. Like, we're doing the Electric Slide so early in the night. I was like, okay. But I leaned into it. And so now I dance up to the security. Like, I'm kind of like, you know, dancing up to the security. And as I'm going past to get on the field, like, where everybody is, the security woman stops me. She places her hand on my chest and goes, baby, you can't be on here. You can't be in here. She looked at my press pass, and she was like, you don't have a green wristband if you want to be a part of press. And press is all the way around the block. Like, all the way around the block. So I'm like, you know, this is where all the action is. But whatever, I'll go to press. So I walk all the way to press, and press is so far from the joy, the music, all the excitement that everybody's watching from the press pit on a Jumbotron. And I was there to interview people about the night. I was like, I can't. I can't do this from here. So I walk all the way back around to security, and for, like, the next 45 minutes, I try to, like, lie. I try to speak. I try to sneak my way onto this field to no avail. I gotta. I gotta call my manager. So I let My manager know, like, hey, you know, I know this is a quick turnaround, but they're not letting me do my job. I can't get on the field and interview people. I don't know what to do, but I just wanted to reach out. And so my manager goes, well, you know what, Jamir? We understand this was a last minute thing. If you feel like you can't do your job to the best of your ability, you could, like, pack up and go home. But I was already, like, too invested. Like, if this was like episode two of the series that I was binging, I would have. I would have quit. But I'm like, on episode seven, like, I'm in the midst of it, I gotta figure out a way. And somebody who had seen me like, walk back and forth from press to try to get in taps me on the shoulder and go, hey, I've been seeing a lot of people hop that gate across the field. And I see the gate and it's like an idle gate. And so I'm like, okay. So I walk all the way back around, even past press, to this idle gate that no security, nobody is like, by. At first, I try to, like, push open the gate. It wasn't open. And I tried to, like, wiggle my ass through the gate. I couldn't do it because I had on, like, my journalist khakis and they were very snug, and so I couldn't. I couldn't get through. And I was just thinking, I was like, I have the green light. I could just go home. But something about the energy of hope that was on that field coming from those people, I just knew that I had to do this. I was like, I'm gonna have to hop the gate. And so I had to stretch because I'm 35 at the time. And I was like, I haven't hopped the gate since maybe 25 years. And so I knew I had to stretch. And I proceeded to very slowly and carefully but forcefully hop this gate. And I hopped the gate and I got over and I landed fine. And I covered my press pass and I ran straight into this crowd. And the energy from the crowd was even more, like, electrifying that than I saw from the outside. I mean, it was just so much communal joy and happiness and, like I said, hope that I didn't feel. But I was really, really curious to why people were feeling like this. So I took off my book bag in the middle of this crowd. I grabbed my microphone, and I knew the first question that I wanted to ask was, why Are you so hopeful? And I just started speaking to people and you know, people were saying, you know, they were hopeful about women's rights and someone had mentioned that they were hopeful about education. And I spoke to this one woman who was, who said that she was just happy that her 4 year old daughter got to see her vote for the first female Indian black American President of the United States. It felt really good to just be there, like, just to be in the midst of, of what that felt like and what that. About 30 minutes into the interviews, the DJs music cuts off. And on that jumbotron that press was looking at, CNN comes on. And we begin to watch the votes come in as a community of people in this field at Howard University. And for about the next hour, I watched people's hope, people's unity, people's love slowly seep out of that field. I mean, it was so silent. At one point, if I dropped like my phone on my microphone, you could hear it. Thousands of people in this field, people just began to cry, to become angry, to become confused and frustrated. And then people just started to, to leave after a while. And even though the votes weren't officially all in, you kind of got the sense that this wasn't going the way that the crowd expected as all this collective grieving was going on. Like, the first two people that I thought of were my mom and my cousin Sonia. I thought of my cousin Sonia because she was one of the people that I interviewed at Howard's campus. She's at Howard Jr. This was her first time voting, and she was so excited to vote for a Howard alum and a black woman president that every time I would ask her, you know, so what are you so hopeful about if Kamala Harris does win? And she said, no, Jay, when she wins, when she wins. And knowing that amount of hope and just love was there, it gave me hope. But I also did not want to rain on her parade. And I thought about my mom as well. My mom has been an educator of New York public schools for over 50 years. She's retired now. But I thought about what repealing all that work from not only her, but so many teachers and educators around the country would look like. And it made me sad, to be honest. Upon, like me packing my stuff up and heading to leave myself, the DJ comes back on and he plays California Love by Tupac and Dr. Dre for some reason. And I'm like, you can't read the room, you're not reading the space. But that felt like a good culmination to kind of leave out on. So I pack up my stuff, and I head out the gate, and I'm walking with my microphone, and a student from Howard University stops me. He goes, bro, like, you work for Vanity Fair? I was like, yeah. He was like, bro, that's crazy. I didn't even know black people worked at Vanity Fair. And I was like, it's not much of us because I got a white job. But he thought that was just, like, so cool. And we just started to, like, talk, and he asked if he can get an interview, and I said, sure. Like, the. The move was so gloomy. I did not want to ask anybody for interview at that moment, but he wanted to speak, and I allowed for him that space. So I started to ask him about how he felt, and, you know, he talked about being frustrated and anxious, but still extremely hopeful that things would turn around. And then he plugged his mixtape, and I thought that was. I was like, go ahead. Do your thing.
- [56:14]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
And he.
- [56:14]
Dulce Sloan
You know, he was able to plug his mixtape in his music. And I turned the.
- [56:18]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
The.
- [56:18]
Dulce Sloan
My phone off, and I put my microphone away, and we gave each other a handshake. And as he was leaving, he said, bro, I'm proud of you. You know, you. You're a symbol of things that I even know were possible. And I just told him that, like, I was thankful and appreciative. And then we went our separate ways. I. You know, I. I did not want to go to Howard on that night because deep down inside, I just had a feeling that, you know, America was going to. America. You know, America isn't just these places in the. In the Northeast. America's big. And a lot of people were feeling unheard and frustrated during this presidential election. Election. And so I knew that. And the last thing that I wanted to do was be in the center of pain and trauma collectively with so many people who look like me. I didn't want that, you know, but part of me thinks that maybe I needed to be there. Even though we wound up not using any of the footage because of the tone of the interviews, the fact that I got to be there and be a vessel for other people to express how they felt, good, bad, or indifferent. Made me feel purposeful. And maybe that was more purposeful than sitting at home, taking four edibles and just hoping for the best. What a ride.
- [58:02]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
Sa.
- [58:40]
Jameer Pond
Hey, this is Risk, and this is RZA behind me right now. I love this song, too. This used to get me real hyped up in the mornings. It's kind of How I used to start my day shout out to rza. And we also just heard a story from Jameer Pond. The story is titled Hoping for the Best. And it was sound designed by John La Sala, which was really captivating to hit me, touched me. Think about all the times I've had to hop fences to get in places that I'm supposed to be at. So that one really hit me. Kevin, how you felt about that story?
- [59:13]
Kevin Allison
Yeah, I mean, oh, God. You know, that whole experience of how should the community feel? And the community like having to react in real time to wait, are we dealing or how are we dealing? Is really something.
- [59:37]
Jameer Pond
And also, hey, man, there's never a bad time to plug a mixtape.
- [59:42]
Kevin Allison
That's right. We need music now more than ever.
- [59:47]
Jameer Pond
We need music now more than ever. Kevin and Jameer, amazing story. Any folks looking for Jameer? You can find him on X, the old Twitter jameerpond spelled J A M E E R Pond on TikTok. He is jameerpond1 or at his own website, jameerpond.com and then before Jameer, we.
- [60:13]
Kevin Allison
Heard that story from Dulce Sloan. And you can find Dulce on Instagram olsesloan. And I just want to thank Adarrius for being here with me today. I mean, this has been really, really cool to have a little guest hosting here.
- [60:30]
Jameer Pond
Oh, this is great, Kevin. It really warms my black heart and I thank you and all the listeners and the staff for bringing me in. This is something that is the work that I love to do and not just tell stories, but also share my perspective whenever I can. So thank you to the Wrist family and everybody who brought this black guy in for Black Lives 8. That's right.
- [60:56]
Kevin Allison
Yeah. We hope to have you back soon on that very note. And I should mention, guys, that tomorrow on the podcast, we're gonna have another story by Jameer Pond, which I'll actually be hearing for the very first time and sharing my immediate reactions to in real time. It's this new thing we're doing called Risk Reacts. I'll be listening to Jameer tell a story on another podcast called the Story Collider. And here's a little bit of what that'll sound like.
- [61:33]
Dulce Sloan
My comfortability with my ex partner started to grow and I started to leave my ego at the door and become more present in sex. And I realized how much I liked that. I didn't know I liked, for instance, like, looking at the person. That's my shit, y'all like that. Like, that's my shit like kissing and cuddling and all the things I couldn't tell my home homies I love to do with my shorty.
- [62:07]
Kevin Allison
But that is tomorrow. And until then, folks, remember today's the.
- [62:13]
Jameer Pond
Day and you know what to do.
- [62:15]
Dulce Sloan
You.
- [62:16]
Jameer Pond
You already know take a risk.
- [62:24]
Larry Dorsey Jr.
No.
- [62:24]
Kevin Allison
Matter how I get.
- [62:52]
Jameer Pond
And I'm excited to be here to share what I can. We might to do that again.
- [62:59]
Kevin Allison
That's fine.
- [63:00]
Jameer Pond
Let me. Let me drink. Let me drink some cocoa.