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- [00:01]
Kevin Allison
Hey folks, this is Kevin. On this week's episode of Risk, you'll hear Sandy marks.
- [00:06]
Sandy Marks
They had creamy bosoms. We didn't have bosoms. We wore training bras, which was a thing we were training for. What? I don't know, like as if like in assembly one day, all of a sudden our tits were gonna pop out and they would be trained for it.
- [00:23]
Kevin Allison
That and more. But first, on December 11, risk is live in New York City. Listen, the first time we had JC Casas host a Risk live show this past September, it was a huge success. Full house, great stories. A few audience members shared five minute stories off the cuff as well. You could do that too, at the December 11th show at Caveat. The theme is collateral damage, so maybe you can share a quick story about that. Nothing compares to seeing Risk live, so make sure to get your tickets@risk-show.com live. We'll be right back in Walmart's Huluville. Everyone ready their cart? Amazing Black Friday deals are about to start online and in the app. Such great deals to explore. Everything you love from tech, toys and more. The days to save and the ones to remember. It's only the 25th to the 30th of November. Set your alarms. Don't miss out. These deals are epic. Without a doubt, the who's are all ready. But are you? Walmart Black Friday deals await. Who knew a massage chair might seem a bit extravagant, especially these days. Eight different settings, adjustable intensity, plus it's heated and it just feels so good. Yes, a massage chair might seem a bit extravagant, but. But when it can come with a car, suddenly it seems quite practical. The Volkswagen Tiguan. Packed with premium features like available massaging front seats, it only feels extravagant.
- [02:08]
Jen Nails
This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state.
- [02:31]
Sandy Marks
Coverage options are selected by the customer.
- [02:33]
Jen Nails
Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Break through the busiest time of year with the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus. Powered by Peloton iq. With real time guidance and endless ways to move, you can personalize your workouts and train with confidence, helping you reach your goals in less time. Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push and go Explore the new peloton cross training tread +@1peloton.com now here's the show.
- [03:32]
Kevin Allison
Risk. Hello, folks. This is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison. This is Aves behind me now. And we're calling this week's episode Do I Belong Here? Someone on the editing team said, are you asking yourself that in Bangkok? And in my seventh week here, no, I have not asked that question. The questions I'm asking are still very much like, what is this? Or, wait, why did that happen? I will say I'm finally getting more serious, a lot more serious about learning the language, which is a huge little adventure in and of itself. I will say I am so grateful for Risk fans. In just the short time I've been here, I have met three different Risk listeners. One named Charlie was just passing through town, but we spent the whole day together having the most amazing conversation. It reminded me of that movie or those series of movies Before Sunset, Beyond Sundown, you know. Anyway, so shout out to Charlie out there. And I will never stop saying, if you know anyone here in Thailand or if you are just passing through, reach out to me at kevinrisk-show.com now. In a little bit, we're going to hear from Risk favorite Sandy Marks. But before that, a story from Jen Nails. Jen was one of the most beloved teachers at the People's Improv Theater in New York back when I worked there around about 2007. She was just such a thoughtful and supportive teacher. You know, it was really inspiring to me, and I think I'm a better teacher for having learned from her. And now she has a wonderful podcast called Revisions How Our Favorite Books Change Us. So you don't want to miss that. And I'm so thrilled that after all these years, she's here on Risk for the very first time. Here's Jen Nails with a story we call Permission to Be Myself.
- [06:42]
Jen Nails
It's 1993, in the middle of my sophomore year at CU Boulder. I'm 19 years old, and I have just found out that I'm getting cut from the small theater conservatory that I auditioned for a year ago. I am shattered. I'm totally embarrassed. Quickly, I find out that I'm the only person out of 15 of us who's been cut. And I start reeling, and I'm trying to figure out what happened and where things went wrong. So in the conservatory program, you go through these studios, these six studios, and at the time that I find out that I'm not being asked back. I've completed two of the studios, Studio 1 and Studio 2. And Studio 1 is taught by this teacher named Ron. Right away, I get a vibe from Ron, and I just. I can't quite explain it. I guess it's just this feeling that he's going to have favorites. And in, like, one snap, I know I'm not one of the favorites. There's, like, you know, certain kind of, like, immediate inside jokes with Ron and some of my classmates, and I love my classmates, and I, like, I want to be one of those in people, and I just cannot do it. It's like this familiarity that I sometimes notice. And I know this is really rude, but, like, among theater people, when they meet each other and then in five minutes, everybody's best friends and hugging, and it's just. It's not my vibe. I just. I can't. Like, the jump rope is spinning, and I cannot find a place to jump in there. Maybe. Also, I'm reminded of when Jenny Lee and Stephanie Ashley in fourth grade invited every single girl in the class to Stephanie's birthday party, except one girl. Maybe. Maybe I am just reminded of that feeling of being left out. Well, the first big project in Studio one is this who Am I? Themed assignment. And we're all supposed to pick a song that we love, that we feel embodies who we are, shows off our personality in some way. And we memorize a song, dress like that singer, and then we perform a lip sync. And so after Raquel gets up and just wows everybody as Fiona Apple, and then Andy is rocking it as Alanis Morissette, I get up, and I have taken great pains and effort to borrow an accordion, which I don't even play because it's lip sync. But I go to the College of Music and lug an accordion over across campus to the theater building. Okay. Cause I'm doing it right. I have my floral shirt, and I take my two long braids, meet the ends in the middle, and I put it as a mustache, and I get up and I perform La La La La Lasagna by Weird Al. It was amazing, I thought. However, if you can believe, Weird Al falls flat, and I set myself apart in some way. So as Studio One continues, it's mostly us bringing in monologues and Ron coaching us through the monologues. And I'm about halfway through Roberta from Danny in the Deep Blue Sea by John Patrick Shanley. And I have to tell you, I don't quite understand what Roberta's saying, because I'm a 19 year old virgin and Roberta's like 35, which right now feels like 80. And so Ron says, okay, stop. And then he proceeds to ask me questions. How are you feeling? How did your morning go? What was last night like? What do you want? Not what does Roberta want? What does Jennifer want? I don't, I have no idea what to say. What did you want from your father? And I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. I, I know I'm supposed to start crying, share something, go back into the monologue while crying, say Roberta's lines. The classmates cry, maybe Ron cries, I get the hug at the end. I just, I don't know. I don't know. Some instinct in me just doesn't buy it. I don't cry. I never cry in Studio one. And so I feel like I don't even get a chance to show Ron who I am really. In addition to these studios that the theater teachers, they also direct full length plays. And we have the opportunity to audition for the plays. And Ron, guess what? Never casts me in one of his plays. But I am cast as this character named Willie, the space freak, who I strangely completely understand in a one act by Sam Shepard called the Unseen Hand. So as the last class of my participation in the conservatory is looming, I kind of, I'm like, okay, fine, never mind. It wasn't going to work out anyway. Fuck this. But then as the minutes are ticking by and the last class is coming up, I think about Studio 2, which is taught by this woman named Lynn, who is a beret wearing, word savoring, scarf slinging hippie. And I love her. And we study many different playwrights and we do like lots of different scenes. We study Williams and Chekhov and O'. Neill. But the main focus of Studio 2 is the gender projects. The first step is the class is divided into small groups. And then we are given the task of creating a piece of theater that weaves together different lines and verses and different themes from literature or plays mixed in with original material with a theme of gender. And I'm like, this is why I auditioned for the program. This is what I want to do. I'm so excited by this project. I happen to be placed in the only all female group. And there are four of us. It's me, Raquel, Nancy and Hani. And together we dig into actual real things that we all cry about that we understand as part of our process. We get together one night and we watch the film the Accused. We, we share a bunch of shit about ourselves and our lives. We Become stronger by being vulnerable. Together, we read Maya Angelou, Marge Percy, Joy Harjo. We include in our script the obscene questions that Ntozake Shange writes about in her poem with no immediate cause. We are so excited about our project. We open with a parody of tradition from Fiddler called Oppression, and we get a standing ovation from all the students and from Lynn. And since we finished the gender project, I still hear in my head Chani, who played Tevye and who is Jewish, I can still hear her saying, in our little village of Boulder, Colorado. So I realize that the program is so worth it for me. I belong in this program. Studio 2 has shown me that it's not going to be about learning monologues and perfecting monologues to be cast in certain roles. I don't want to really do Shakespeare or anything classical. I don't think I'm the funny sidekick or the wacky neighbor, even. Maybe I'm the wacky neighbor's neighbor who's not even trying to be funny. Or maybe I just want to write the dialogue for all of those characters. So, inevitably, it's the morning of the last class, and I drag myself from my dorm past the College of Music, and I head over to the theater, and it pops into my head that there had been some kind of conversation about me behind closed doors in somebody's office. Should she stay or should she go? Maybe the evening phone call between Jenny and Stephanie in fourth grade deciding whether or not they're going to invite me to the birthday party pops into my head, too. Fine. So as I approach the theater building, I'm imagining this disagreement about me. And I imagine Ron saying something like, well, obviously she has no tear ducts. And then Lynn saying something like, but she's funny. And Ron shakes his head. Pass. People want waterworks. You can't have the funny without the sad. And then Lynn saying something like, well, of course she has feelings. Ron. Lin, I'm shutting you down. Anyone who can't cry in my class is a discard. Well, interestingly, you asking her to leave has proved that she does have tear ducts. Not every learner is restored. Receptive to the way you teach. Not every learner is receptive to the way I teach. Can it, Lynn. But how are you, Lynn? How was your morning? What are your feelings about your father? Okay, all right. This is obviously a play that I need to write at some point, but let's go back to the story. So it's the last class. Everybody's going around and sharing memorable things. From the studios so far. And it gets to me and I can't help it, but I get really sad and I tell everybody how much I'm going to miss them. I have gotten a lot out of the program so far, it turns out, and I'm really sad that I'm going to miss out on what's to follow. Raquel stands up and she's holding a piece of paper. And here's the piece of paper. The exact piece of paper that has been in my garage, in all the garages I've lived in for 30 years. She unfolds the paper and she says. December 15, 1993. To whom it may concern Being informed of Jennifer Nails dismissal from the BFA Acting Program. We in Studio 2 wish to express our extreme displeasure on your decision. Jennifer's enrollment in Studio 3 is not only necessary for her development, but it is a necessity for each student's development as well. We have learned as much from fellow actors work as from our own processes. Jennifer is a different and beautiful creature who offers unique input on projects and everyday life. Input that cannot be replaced or readily discarded. It can be said without hesitation that Jennifer is constantly striving for an honesty in her work. The consensus of the class is that she has grown as much or more than the remainder of us. If anyone has earned a spot in Studio three, we feel Jen has. Sincerely, the members of Studio two. I'm stunned. I can't.
- [18:35]
Sandy Marks
I don't.
- [18:36]
Jen Nails
I have. I don't. I can't open my mouth. Silence follows the letter. And I glance around the room at all of these really determined faces. And then I just look at my hands and I rub my palms on my thrift store skirt and I'm suddenly sweaty and I wipe my nose on my turquoise hoodie that doesn't match the thrift store skirt. I just. I can't find a way to accept their acceptance of me. In that moment I had so purposefully fixed in my head that I was not a part of this group anymore. And I really needed to start the process of like, disattaching myself. The next few days are kind of blurry. It's the end of the semester and everybody's getting ready to go home for winter break. But right before I leave for Las Vegas, I find out that I will be joining Connie and Raquel and Nancy and Andy and my whole crew in Studio 3 and beyond. And as I am heading to the airport, I'm thinking of the letter. I. I can't. I can't. I am. I'm in awe of my classmates. I am in awe of their selfless act. I mean, they didn't really have anything major to gain to put themselves out there on my behalf. And when I land, I'm still thinking about the letter and I'm waiting for my dad to pick me up and I just pause like you remember to do like once every like 14 years. And you're like, I am so grateful for these things that are everyday constants for me, like my supportive family. Any accomplishments that I ever achieve are because of my mom and dad. But somehow when someone who is not related to you, who it's not their job to believe in you, steps in and with unseen hands ushers you forward and gives you permission to be yourself, it is the most unforgettable, indescribable, unexpected gift that I have ever received in my life.
- [21:20]
Kevin Allison
Sam we'll be right back. With Black Friday savings at the Home Depot, you can get up to 40% off, plus up to an extra thousand dollars off select appliances like lg, America's most reliable line of appliances. Check out the newest LG refrigerator with new mini craft ice straight from the dispenser shop. Black Friday savings on select LG appliances plus get free delivery now at the Home Depot. Free delivery on appliance Purchase prices of $396 or more. Offer valid 11. 5 through 123 US only. See store online for details. What's up world? It's Vaughn Miller, super bowl mvp, chicken farmer, and now host of Free Range. This is a show where I go off the field and off the script. We're talking what's hot in music, film, trending news and everything blowing up your feed. If you love football, you'll feel at home. But if you're here for the vibes, the Internet deep dives the conversation. This is your podcast. Join me every Wednesday. Follow and listen to Free Range with me, Vaughn Miller, everywhere you get your podcast.
- [22:50]
Jen Nails
This episode is brought to you by Netflix from the creator of Homeland. Claire Danes and Matthew Rhys star in the new Netflix series the Beast and me as ruthless rivals whose shared darkness will set them on a collision course with fatal consequences. The Beast in Me is a riveting psychological cat and mouse story about guilt, justice and doubt. You will not want to miss this. The Beast in Me is now playing only on Netflix.
- [23:16]
Kevin Allison
Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8 only at McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California and for delivery.
- [23:32]
Jen Nails
We're back.
- [23:41]
Kevin Allison
This is Risk. This is Joel Adam Russell behind me now. And we just heard from Jen Nails, who wanted me to remind you to visit your local libraries. Take advantage of all the resources, the programming, the community events. Most of it's free and you can find Jen on Instagram @jennailsit19. Folks, if you're in New York, come to what's yous story on Thursday, November 20th from 6:30pm to 9:30pm That's Eastern Time, of course. What's yous Story is the name of the curated social event we created. It's laid back, it's fun, it's low pressure. Our own JC Cassis will be hosting it in Greenpoint, Brooklyn and facilitating people meeting each other and getting to know one another just a little bit by sharing mini bite sized stories about some of the more fun or interesting things we've experienced. So get your tickets for what's your story@risk-show.com live. Folks, we have a new bonus story out now on our Patreon from Gabby Dunn. This is a crazy story about high school kids celebrating their graduation at Disneyland and breaking all the rules there in the process.
- [25:07]
Jen Nails
So we go outside the ride and.
- [25:09]
Sandy Marks
She handcuffs me and it's me and.
- [25:12]
Jen Nails
Then another kid who jumped a turnstile.
- [25:15]
Sandy Marks
And so he's also handcuffed.
- [25:17]
Jen Nails
And my friends are finished with the ride. They're standing right there like, what?
- [25:19]
Sandy Marks
Watching this happen.
- [25:20]
Jen Nails
They're like, what's going on?
- [25:22]
Sandy Marks
And I'm like a smart ass.
- [25:23]
Jen Nails
I'm like, I think I'm going to Mickey jail. And the woman, the woman is like, yeah you are.
- [25:32]
Kevin Allison
And there's plenty more where that came from. Plus an ad free feed of the podcast that you can plug right into your regular podcast app@patreon.com risk. You have probably heard we're going through our probably roughest stretch ever right now. Financially I think we can survive, but not without the help of the folks who listen to the show. You know, if just 10% of the people who listen to the show contributed just a little bit to help keep Risk running, we would be on stable footing. So please consider joining@patreon.com risk or increasing the amount of your donation there. And if you want to make a one time donation, that's at PayPal me riskshow. I know a lot of small businesses and arts organizations are hurting right now, so holy folks, isn't this a time? Now next up, we're going to hear from Sandy Marks, a Risk regular A beloved member of the New York storytelling scene, Sandy is like family at this point. Now this recording comes from the wonderful storytelling show we Love a theme that's also in New York and hosted by the amazing Bailey Swilley, who you've heard on Risk before. So look that up at we love a themeshow on Instagram. And here's Sandy Marks now with the story we call fake it til you make it.
- [27:38]
Sandy Marks
So I went to a high school where there were two kinds of girls. There were nice girls. And those were the girls who if we had Yelp reviews back then, we'd get five stars for babysitting and we never lost our retainer. I say we because obviously I'm a fucking nice girl. Then there were the bad girls who we called hitter chicks. That was an expression. And these girls had special skills like eyeliner that they knew how to apply. And they put like a beauty mark on their face. Why? I don't know. They had like jet black, like Joan Jett black hair. But this is before Joan Jett, cause I'm old. So, you know, it was two. None of the twain's meet. Okay, so here's some examples. Now the good girls, we would go on vacation to colonial Williamsburg. Yeah, it was real exciting. We would watch teenagers from the local high school dress up as sister wives. And they would churn butter in a vat with an oar from somebody's boat, okay? And it was very unappealing. Now the bad girls, they were going to Mexico for a procedure because this is early 70s when that procedure wasn't available in New York, okay? So that was the difference. And they also, these girls were so super sexy. They had creamy bosoms. We didn't have bosoms. We wore training bras, which was a thing we were training for. What? I don't know, like as if like in assembly one day all of a sudden our tits were going to pop out and they would be trained for it. Nothing ever happened. Now the bad girls, these gorgeous, beautiful girls, they wore like dayglo gorgeous push up bras. This is before there were push up bras. So I don't know how they were pushing them up, but they were gorgeous and they always looked beautiful. They had ankle bracelets on and they were always chewing gum. They knew how to crack gum. That's a skill. I still don't know how to do that. They knew how to do that. And my favorite was Patti Migliacci. Oh, she was so sexy. And once in assembly when you had to wear white shirts and we had our Training bras. And they had on their beautiful bras with their creamy bosoms. I accidentally bumped into her, and she told me that I would be dead after school. Love. I was in love. I thought, ok, I'm making headway with the bad girls. And then the other one was Carol Horowitz. And Carol bragged that she had slept with every security guard at Macy's on Queens Boulevard. There were a lot of security guards. And rumor had it that she shaped her nether regions into the shape of a heart. In high school, I still hardly had any pubic hair. So the idea that someone had enough to shave it into the shape of a heart was astounding. I didn't have sex till I was, like, 22 years old, okay? I was a nice girl. So nice girls, we hung out with nice boys. I ate boring boys. And we would hang out in front of the Forest Hills Jewish Center. Super sexy. And the bad girls, these really bad girls, like Carol and Patty, they were hanging out at the pizza den giving handy Js in the parking lot. I was just so jealous. And I knew this was never going to be my life because I was a nice girl. And so this followed me all through college. After college, when guys would set me up on dates, they would tell their friends, she's nice. She has a good sense of humor. You know what that means? It means she's got a butterface, okay? But they said, oh, your mom will really like her. Let's like the kiss of death. So I was going out with all the really boring, nice guys. They were going to be accountants, and they were going to be lawyers and doctors, which is fine. But I wanted wanderlust. I wanted to shave my crotch in the shape of a giraffe or something. I don't know. I wanted something more. It wasn't really, but that was okay. So, okay, now this is what I used to do. Now this is my end game. And we've all done this. I used to never break up with anybody. Has anyone here been watching the new season of Love Is Blind? Okay, now, if you have been watching it, there's this guy on there, he's a total douche nozzle. And he's busy trying to sabotage by pretending that the girl that he's engaged to is the whore. He's the whore. He's ridiculous. So he wants her to break up with him. Well, that's what I would do. So what I would do is whatever it took. So he would dump me. The best words were, it's not you. It's me. I always hoped for that. And usually I got lucky. Usually I got them to dump me because I was bored and I wanted more. And then there was Larry. So I start dating Larry. And he's really handsome, and he's tall, and even though he's a Jew, he doesn't, like, act like me, like, muddle the tailor. He's, like, really kind of sexy, you know? And he comes from this really good family from Great Neck. And I don't know if anybody's been to Great Neck, but parts of it are really nice, you know, like, they've got, like, gates with crests on the front where you have to be buzzed in. And his parents were in the electronic business. They owned a company. Their name. And a little lightning bolt is on every light switch all over the world. You know, you can't go on or off without seeing his name. So I thought if this works out, I'd be up to my tits and dimmer switches. I mean, this. I mean, I was always poor, and this. This could be, like, a big deal. This could be a something. So I thought, okay, I could be an heiress into an electrical fortune. Maybe I shouldn't, like, short circuit this so fast. So we're dating, and he's nice, but he's so boring. And we're young, we're in our 20s, and, like, I already can tell he's thinking we're going to live in a cul de sac somewhere. And I had visions of being an actress and a dancer. I had no talent, but that's okay. I had visions of being an actress and a dancer. I was going to go on the road, you know, nobody wanted me on any road, but I was going on some road. But we kept dating and dating, and it was time. Expiration was coming. I needed to break up with this guy because I was bored. And I knew, you know, you can't go on forever. So he invites me to an Islanders hockey game. And I'm thinking, this is the night. This is perfect. Because I don't know about if you've ever been to a hockey game, but it's really loud. So I figure if I break up with him, he won't even know. But if I say it, then it's so. And also, just as a side note, I once went to a hockey game where I witnessed a man take a chair and throw it. A chair that had been bolted to the ground. He somehow was able to lift it in like a beer fury and throw this chair. And I thought, oh, this is perfect. If there's any mayhem, I'm fine. I'm golden. Okay. So we get to the game and the Islanders are winning. And I'm thinking, oh, this is great. This is perfect. I'm gonna break up with Larry. Cause it isn't him. It's really me. I'm just. I'm antsy. I can't go out with him anymore. And it's already been, like six months where I haven't been able to dump this guy. So at like the third or the fourth, I don't know if they had quarters, whatever they had towards the end of the game. And I look at him and I said, larry, we really need to talk. And he said, yeah, we really do. And I'm thinking, yes, he's going to dump me. This is perfect. And then he puts his hand inside his Members Only. I do remember it was a Members Only jacket. It is early 19. Like 80, 81. And he pulls out a blue velvet box. And I'm thinking, this isn't what I thought was going to happen. And he opens the box, and there is a huge diamond ring in it. And he says, sandy, I love you. I can see a future together. Let's get married. And I am.
- [35:11]
Kevin Allison
What?
- [35:11]
Sandy Marks
What? What? We've been only together for six months, Larry. I'm not a prize. You don't want to marry me. I hardly know you. But all I could say. That was what I was thinking. All I could say, because I'm a nice fucking girl is, no, thank you. Like, I didn't know what else to say. And he's totally shocked. Cause he can't imagine anyone turning down this ring that would have paid my NYU tuition, All of my NYU tuition sitting in that box. But I just. I wasn't ready to get married. Not to him. He's too nice. I wanted someone on a motorcycle or something. I don't know. Maybe I wanted a guy who shaped his crotch in the shape of a heart.
- [35:47]
Kevin Allison
I don't know.
- [35:47]
Sandy Marks
But I didn't want Larry. So I say, no, no. And he starts to cry. I know. And I'm nice now. That didn't make me want to marry him. Made me think, ugh, and he's a pussy. But any. I'm insensitive. What can I say? And then he said, well, then you have to do me a favor. And I said, anything. Because at this point, I really did feel bad. He said, right now my parents have all of our friends. Yes, yes. All of their friends are at their house in Great Neck. They ordered in from Ben's Deli. Do you know how expensive Ben's deli is? It's expensive. He said, they're throwing us a party to celebrate our engagement. You have to come back to the house and pretend. Yes. So I say, cause I'm an actress. Untalented, perhaps. Sure. I studied with Sanford Meisner and Lee Strasberg. Sure. So I say, okay. I think, okay, I can pull it together. I have training. I have sense memory exercises. I can do the repetition. I can do it. So I said, okay, fine. So I put the ring on. I already got bursitis. Okay. The ring was so big, and it was like the whole. You know, everything was shining. It looked like a disco ball. And we head to the parking lot at, you know, this ridiculous field out in Long Island. And we get in the car and we leave Nassau Coliseum and we drive quietly to Great Neck. We pull up to their fucking cul de sac with this big, big house. And both his parents are standing right in the doorway. And she is mildly attractive in, like, some sort of Mrs. Roper caftan item. And he was wearing, you know, like, Ralph Lauren everywhere or whatever. And she smelled like Shalimar. I remember it was Shalimar. Cause for years later, it was very triggering. When I go to Bloomingdale's, I'd smell Shalimar, and I'd think about Larry's mom. And the house was so bright. I mean, it was so well lit. Can you imagine? They had sconces, chandeliers. Nothing was dim. And they had plastic slipcovers. So everything was bouncing off of everything. Light was everywhere. And they had all these relatives that all smelled like, you know, fighting smells. You know, I don't know if it was casserelle or Bill Blass or whatever was happening, but it was like when you go into Bloomingdale's and you're getting an asthma attack because everybody's spraying somebody with something. That's what it was like in their house. And then they had a spread of all the meats, and everything was out there, and. And cheeses. And there's a huge buffet, signs, congratulations. And they're peppering us with questions like, where do you want to go on your honeymoon? And I'm, like, way in deep because I thought I was talented at the time. So I said, well, I'd love to go to Hawaii. I'd never been to Hawaii. It sounded fun. I said, and I'd love to have a big wedding, maybe at the Pierre or the Plaza. I'd never even been inside either of those places, but I'M going because I know these are very wealthy electrical people. This is their. This is their language I'm talking and they're all lovely and it's fine. And I'm actually like really getting into the part. And for about a minute there I thought, maybe I can do this. Maybe I should do this. This would solve a lot of problems. I could have his family pay my tuition for school. That was useless because I'm never gonna be an actress. I went there for drama. Can you imagine who goes to nyu? Don't let your children go to NYU to study drama. It's the stupidest way to spend money. Sidebar. Anyway, okay, so all this said, finally, I tug on his new member's jacket and I say, I gotta go home. I've done my part. I'm really sorry, Larry, but I don't think I could keep this up anymore. He says, okay, so we bid goodbye. I say, it was so great to see you. Can't wait for the festivities knowing I'll never see these people again. God willing. We get out, we go in the car very quietly. He drives me back to my parents ground floor, dumpy little tiny apartment on Yellowstone Boulevard. It's like back to reality. I have to take off the ring. And meanwhile there's this one minute when I'm giving it back, the ring, but my hands are so sweaty that I can't get the ring off. Like, think O.J. in that glove. It was like that for like a minute. I thought, well, maybe I can't get the ring off. It might be a problem. We get the ring off and he takes the ring back and I say, larry, you know, I wish you the best. I'm sorry it didn't work out. Okay, so here's the takeaway. There's a huge difference between being a nice girl and being a good girl and being like, kind. Okay, nice and kind. So if you are a kind person, you're honest. When you're in a relationship, you check in, you say what's what. You might not lead someone in a direction that's not going to happen. That's kind of the way to go. But if you're a nice girl, you wind up like me in a very well lit house with sweaty meats and cheeses on a huge platter pretending to be something you're not and you never can win. Thank you.
- [40:56]
Kevin Allison
The Scissorisk. This is Roger Rivas behind me now and we just heard from Sandy Marks. Sandy has a hilarious and touching memoir called Slightly Above Average. And her documentary, the Fabulist is available on Amazon prime and lots of other streamers. You can find her on Instagram at. Sandy Marks three Folks were always interested in winter holidays sorts of stories that you might pitch us. And since you might be hearing this roundabout Thanksgiving time, we've also had some great ones from around that holiday too. So pitch us@risk-show.com submissions. Now, coming on Thursday, we're going to revisit some stories from the first Risk Live show we ever did in Austin, Texas in 2013. I still vividly remember that jam packed night of amazing stories. But that's Thursday. And meanwhile folks, today's the day. Take a risk. Risk.