Fighting Back

Summary

RISK! Podcast – “Fighting Back” (April 2, 2026)

Overview

This episode of RISK!, hosted by Kevin Allison, is titled “Fighting Back.” The central theme is resilience in the aftermath of trauma, told through the deeply personal, raw, and often darkly humorous stories of two women: actress Ellie Jackson and comedian Liz Stewart. Both recount their journeys through formative experiences involving abuse, shame, survival, and the uneven road to healing and self-acceptance. The episode is unflinching, blending moments of heartbreak with humor and catharsis.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Trigger Warning

   • Kevin Allison opens with context: the episode is a replay of a 2014 fan favorite, featuring stories about “facing traumatic shit” and moving forward.
   • [02:03] Kevin issues a content warning: “Today's episode features a few instances of abuse. And I know that for some listeners, that sort of thing can trigger stressful, traumatic sorts of feelings. So I wanted to warn everyone beforehand.”

2. Ellie Jackson: “I Can See Clearly Now”

   • [04:39–23:06] Ellie's story traces a journey from sexual naivete at band camp to an adulthood shaped by rape, shame, and cyclical difficulties with intimacy.

   • Band Camp Anecdote: Ellie reveals her sexual innocence as a pre-teen, quickly realizing such honesty makes her a target among her peers.

     • “You guys, we have to warn her, because deep kissing can lead to other things.” – Ellie Jackson, [04:39]

   • The Frat Party Assault: At 18, Ellie is raped by a college senior after a frat party, despite her vocal protests and eventual disclosure that she is a virgin.

     • “I just sort of realize that there's no way out of this situation and that I'm not going to be able to prevent what's about to happen.” – Ellie Jackson, [06:42]

   • Post-Assault Coping and Sexuality: Ellie internalizes blame, cycles through periods of sexual abstinence, casual sex devoid of emotion, and self-criticism.

     • “I only ever sleep with people I don't care about because I can't be physically intimate and emotionally intimate with the same person." – Ellie Jackson, [21:01]

   • Empowerment or Denial? Her choice of emotionally detached partners is framed as “progress” until a Planned Parenthood visit prompts new self-realization.

   • Therapy Turning Point: A persistent social worker at Planned Parenthood challenges Ellie to reflect on the relationship between trauma and her romantic life.

     • “This isn't what happened to other people. This is what happened to you.” – Planned Parenthood social worker paraphrased, [19:24]

   • Breakdown and Insight: Ellie’s cathartic moment hits in the waiting room, faced with the absurd coincidence of seeing the man she just slept with in a toothpaste commercial:

     • “I just start laughing hysterically and crying hysterically at the same time because what, like no one will believe me when I tell them what happened?” – Ellie Jackson, [22:28]

   • Hope for Healing: Acknowledges that progress is slow, that seeking help is difficult but necessary, and ends with a moving affirmation:

     • “It is okay to ask for help and that it's okay to want to fix what's broken, that we all do deserve to ask for help and to be okay.” – Ellie Jackson, [22:41]

3. Liz Stewart: “If You Hit Somebody In The Temple, They Will Fucking Drop”

   • [24:56–39:38] Liz delivers her darkly comic monologue of growing up as “the freaky one” in an abusive, dysfunctional family, blending sharp punchlines with harrowing details.

   • Outcast Status & Humor: Shares stories of social alienation, finding solace in comedy albums, and cynically organizing a petition to ban nuclear power in third grade.

     • “I got one signature. Their name was ‘recess is cool, you have no friends.’” – Liz Stewart, [24:56]

   • Family Dynamics & Abuse: Jokes about her sociopathic father (“the only thing he hated more than black people was disobedient women”) and her paranoid schizophrenic mother, who claimed to work for the government and threatened sniper attacks for backtalk.

     • “I was labeled as autistic because I would rarely speak. Turns out I wasn't autistic. I just didn't have shit to say to those people.” – Liz Stewart, [26:17]

   • Violence and Breaking Free: Details multiple, escalating incidents of abuse, culminating in a violent exorcism attempt by her mother at age 15.

     • “She had a towel over my face and was like, you know, devil be out, you know, and all of the rest of the Lord's Prayer. I don't think the devil be out is actually part of it, but you get my point.” – Liz Stewart, [30:15]

   • Fighting Back: For the first time, Liz physically defends herself and her younger siblings—in an act that both marks her breaking point and catalyzes real change (her mother’s institutionalization).

     • “I found out two things that day. One, nobody has the right to put their hands on you… And two, if you hit somebody right in the temple, they will fucking drop.” – Liz Stewart, [32:04]

   • Aftermath and Dark Humor: Escapes her home, supports herself, and reflects on trauma’s twisted “benefits”—a perspective sharpened by stand-up and a sense of belonging among other misfits.

     • “By not being normal and by being such a freak. I have a home with all you fucked up people.” – Liz Stewart, [36:41]
     • “If I can survive my family… I think I can handle a callback for Jurgens.” – Liz Stewart, [38:49]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If I hadn't said something so stupid, if I hadn't given up, then I could have prevented that from happening...So the best way to get over this is to just move on and forget about it and move forward.” – Ellie Jackson, [08:09]
• “I can't be physically intimate and emotionally intimate with the same person.” – Ellie Jackson, [21:01]
• “This level of freaky is not something that just happens overnight. It takes years. As well as both nurture and nature working in tandem to culminate what you see before you.” – Liz Stewart, [25:48]
• “Who bites somebody on the fucking face, man?” – Liz Stewart, [33:34]
• “All this time I thought I was the crazy one. Like, I thought I was what was wrong. Turns out it was everybody else.” – Liz Stewart, [35:16]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:03] Content warning and episode framing
• [04:39–23:06] Ellie Jackson's “I Can See Clearly Now”
• [24:56–39:38] Liz Stewart’s stand-up monologue
• [41:37] Kevin’s closing remarks and workshop plugs

Episode Tone

• True to the RISK! format, stories are candid, uncensored, emotionally intense, and at times laced with dark humor. Both speakers mix vulnerability with wit, often using sardonic asides to diffuse tension or highlight the absurdity of their circumstances.

Summary

“Fighting Back” is an emblematic RISK! episode, placing listeners inside the secret, often painful, but ultimately empowering corners of storytellers' lives. Ellie Jackson’s narrative spotlights the silent, cyclical nature of trauma and the slow emergence of hope through asking for help. Liz Stewart’s tale confronts generational dysfunction with sardonic comedy, showing that even the most marginalized can find strength, perspective and community—while never letting go of the punchline. It’s an episode that is at once punishing and cathartic, daring listeners to confront what it means to truly fight back for one’s own identity, safety, and future.

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This summary covers all primary content while omitting ad reads and non-narrative sections, and preserves the original language and tone of the storytellers.

Transcript

[Person Selling Car]

I sold my car in Carvana last night.

[Friend of Person Selling Car]

Well, that's cool.

[Person Selling Car]

No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong.

[Friend of Person Selling Car]

So what's the problem?

[Person Selling Car]

That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes as smoothly. I'm waiting for the catch.

[Friend of Person Selling Car]

Maybe there's no catch.

[Person Selling Car]

That's exactly what a catch would want me to think.

[Friend of Person Selling Car]

Wow. You need to relax.

[Person Selling Car]

I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood?

[Friend of Person Selling Car]

I think it's laminate.

[Person Selling Car]

Okay. Yeah, that's good. That's close enough.

[Friend of Person Selling Car]

Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees may apply.

[Kevin Allison]

Sometimes you just want a good stor. On TikTok, you'll find short dramas, emotional, fast, and impossible to stop watching. Download TikTok now.

Hey, folks, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison, and every Thursday we release these special episodes where we look back at content from our earlier years. Folks, learning to tell your stories can help you understand your life better. I'm teaching another online storytelling workshop starting April 8, 2026. One student called the workshop equal parts creative playground and a powerful transformational experience. You'll learn how to hold people's attention, organize your memories into compelling and entertaining sharing. You'll find meaning where you might not have noticed it before. You'll connect with wonderful people in a space where they're actually rooting for you. So if you've been thinking, I have stories, but I don't know how to tell them. Email me at kevinrisk-show.com to learn more. Now, this week, an episode that premiered in January of 2014. It's an episode we call Fighting Back.

Hey, folks, this is Kevin. Today's episode features a few instances of abuse. And I know that for some listeners, that sort of thing can trigger stressful, traumatic sorts of feelings. So I wanted to warn everyone beforehand. Now here's the show.

[Liz Stewart]

La.

[Kevin Allison]

Hello, kids. This is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison, and this is the Bombay Royale behind me. Now we are calling today's episode Fighting Back. Because on today's episode, we have two very strong, very smart, very talented young ladies who tell stories of facing traumatic shit that happened in their past and finding the wherewithal to move onward and upward. In a little bit, we're going to hear from comedian Liz Stewart. Wow, did she throw everyone for a loop at the Risk Live show in Los Angeles last week. Well, whenever it was at the Nerd Melt Theater in la. But before that, beautiful young actress Ellie Jackson, who took our story studio workshop here in New York. She told a lot of wonderful stories in class, but this one was when I asked her if she would come over to my apartment to record one on One for the podcast here. So without further ado, here is Ellie Jackson with a story we call I Can See Clearly Now.

[Friend of Person Selling Car]

The summer between 6th and 7th grade, I attended band camp. And one afternoon as I was walking with two of my cabin mates, I asked them where Amanda was. Amanda was another girl in our cabin, and within the first couple days of camp, she had procured herself a camp boyfriend, this kid named Nate. My cabin mates informed me that Amanda and Nate had skipped lunch so they could sneak back to our cabin when they knew the counselor wouldn't be in there and make out. This information stopped me dead in my tracks, and without thinking, I just blurted out in real earnest, sincerity, you guys, we have to warn her, because deep kissing can lead to other things. And this stopped the other girls dead in their tracks, too. And they turned and looked at me, their eyes narrowing, and I suddenly felt what a deer must feel when it realizes the wolves have singled it out as the weakest in the herd. As time slowed down and my brain caught up to my mouth, I realized what a totally embarrassing, humiliating, socially disastrous thing I had just said. And so I start laughing. Trying to play it off as a joke is what our health teacher would say. In my defense, I will say that deep kissing totally does lead to other things. And I was right. But in that moment, I was mortified and realized that you're not supposed to let other people know how sexually naive you are, that this is an embarrassing thing. I got better at covering that up, and it didn't really affect me again until years later, when I was 18 years old, I was a freshman in college, and I was going with some friends to a frat party. I made my first mistake of the night when I said to Lisa that this guy across the room was really cute, and Lisa had gone to high school with some of the guys in this frat, which is why we were there to begin with. And so before I can stop her, she goes and tells her friend that I said that this guy was hot. And the next thing you know, I see him across the room whispering in cute guy's ear. And then the next thing you know, he's coming over to us and, you know, we're starting to have a conversation. And the next mistake I made was thinking that this really cute senior who kept refilling my red plastic cup all night long was interested in me and enjoying our conversation. And I decide that when he offers to take me back to my dorm, I say yes. And then he suggests maybe we go to his place instead. And that seems like a fine idea. And so we do, and I think he's hot and I want to make out with him, and we're doing that, but then suddenly it's more than that, and I'm just in his dark, really messy bedroom in his apartment. And somehow, despite all my protests, he's managed to wrestle all of my clothes, including my underwear, off of me. And I have both of my hands clamped down as tight as I can between my legs because that's the only thing that's preventing him from sticking his penis inside me. And all the time I'm telling him that I don't want to sleep with him, and meanwhile he has his mouth right in my ear in this really twisted way, whispering sweetly reasons that I should have sex with him. And as I'm lying there and my brain is just racing and I'm just so exhausted from all the alcohol and from his physical strength that I, as like a last ditch effort, say to him, I'm a virgin. And I thought that that would finally be the bullet point on the list I'd already given him, that would get him to stop and to understand that I was serious. But he's on top of me, and I can see the look on his face change when I say this. And I realize that this information is actually not going to get him to stop, but that it's only inspired him to try harder. I just sort of realize that there's no way out of this situation and that I'm not going to be able to prevent what's about to happen. He drives me home to my dorm, and I don't talk about it to anyone the next day or ever really, because I was really ashamed of what had happened and embarrassed about what had happened. And even though I tried to tell myself that it wasn't my fault, I also knew that it was my fault. Because I had been stupid enough to get into that situation and I had given up. If I had fought harder or longer or been stronger, if I hadn't said something so stupid, if I hadn't given up, then I could have prevented that from happening. And so it wasn't something that I wanted to talk about with anyone. And what Goode was talking about it going to do anyway because this had happened and there was nothing that could undo it. So the best way to get over this is to just move on and forget about it and move forward. And so I did move on. And I employed varying different tactics for getting over this. And the first few years after this happened was sort of one large cycle that then as years have gone on, the cycle repeats itself on shorter and shorter loops. But it basically always starts out with a long period of abstinence. I will have sex with someone and it's not a pleasant experience. So I just, you know, have the realization that I'm never going to enjoy sex. This is just something that's not gonna be a part of my life. And too bad, but, oh well, there's other things in life that are more important than this anyway. So I'm just not gonna pursue any sort of relationship. And I think, no, Ellie, that's crazy to think that you could never have this. This is a bad thing that happened to you. But that doesn't mean that everyone's like that. You need to find someone who you can trust and be vulnerable with. And that's when you're gonna be able to have a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. But then I started to think about all of this baggage I have all this shit, and I don't want to put that onto someone that I really like and care about. And if this person who I really like finds out this thing about me, they're not gonna like me anymore. And that's way too scary and way too dangerous. And so really what I need to do is I need to get over this stuff on my own. I need to be able to be comfortable with my sexuality in these situations. But I can't do that with someone that could hurt me. I want to be able to engage in sex in a way where I feel in control and powerful. And so the best way to do that is to become involved with people that I don't actually like or care about. Because then it's my choice and I'm in charge and I know that they can't hurt me. But being with someone you don't really like that much is ultimately pretty fucking unsatisfying. And so what's the point of that? I'd rather just be alone. So I guess I'm just gonna be alone forever and I'm never going to enjoy sex. Recently I met this guy, Dave. Dave is the quintessential example of that annoyingly all too common 30 something New York actor guy who just revels in his own arrested Development and gets away with it because he has this very snake oil salesman type charm. From every interaction that I've had with Dave, I just think that he is this egotistical ass hat, and there's nothing about him that's appealing to me. So he's perfect, you know? And one night, I end up going home with him, putting an end to my most recent stretch of abstinence the next day. I feel totally fine about this choice. I don't like Dave. I have absolutely no interest in dating him. And the sex wasn't great, but it never is for me. But it wasn't bad. It didn't make me feel horrible about myself. So I'm viewing this as progress, you know, I also decided, since it had been a couple years, that I would make myself an appointment to see the lady doctor. So then a few days before my doctor's appointment, I ended up sleeping with Dave again. And again. It wasn't great, but it was my choice. And this is the type of thing that a young New York woman can do. And that's, you know, I'm empowered and I feel great about this. So it's a few days later and I'm at Planned Parenthood. The healthcare associate who is going through my intake forms and taking my blood pressure and height and weight, and all of that is getting towards the bottom of the form where they ask about sexual trauma. And so I'm prepared for the question that I know is coming, which is, do you want to talk about it? And I have my answer locked and loaded, ready to go. And that answer is no. But this woman is persistent, and so she starts to tell me about how Planned Parenthood has social workers. And actually, there's a social worker here today, and if I like, she could see if that woman has time to see me while I'm here. And I absolutely don't want that to happen, but I don't want to be in this conversation any longer either. So I just say what I think is the quickest way out of this, which is, yeah, sure, you can check with her, I guess, because I figure there's no way this woman is going to actually have time to see me because she's a social worker at Planned Parenthood. So I get my charts and I'm sent on my way to the lab, and they draw blood for the AIDS test. And then I'm back in the waiting room. And only a few minutes goes by. I hear my name called again. So I get up, and as I am following this petite middle aged woman down the hall. I realize very quickly that she is not the doctor, she is the social worker. And I have been tricked. And as I sit down in her chair and she closes her office door, I'm just getting so upset. And I start acting sort of like a sullen child who's been brought to the principal's office against their will. And so she says, you know, I understand that you wanted to talk to someone today. I'm like, well, no, not really. Really? She continues with, oh, so you've talked about this before? And I'm like, yeah. I mean, no, what friend maybe? I mean, it was 12 years ago, okay? I'm over it. I'm fine. Besides, I know that so much worse stuff has happened to so many more people, so it's silly for me to even still be upset about this. And she interjects with the stupid, pointless, well, what? This isn't what happened to other people. This is what happened to you. And you know what? It's just such a social worker waste of time. And then she asks, do you think what happened to you has affected your ability to have a fulfilling relationship? And it just made me so angry because it's just such a stupid fucking question because of course it has. And so I just snap at her without thinking, well, I mean, I only ever sleep with people I don't care about because I can't be physically intimate and emotionally intimate intimate with the same person. And as I hear myself screaming this at her, I realize for the first time that this is true. And I feel this shift inside me and I realize that I'm not over this and it's not okay and I'm not strong enough to deal with this on my own. And at the same time, like, she's not either. She is not the person to help me with this, but I realize that I need help. So I take from her the very blurry, over photocopied list of therapists that she informs me is not up to date, but it's maybe a place to start when I'm ready and I'm ushered back to the waiting room. And she tells me that the next person who calls my name will be the doctor, and then I'll, you know, be done for the day. And so I'm sitting in the waiting room and the View is playing silently on the flat screen on the wall, and I'm sort of paying attention to the book that I brought, but mostly I'm just thinking about this conversation that I just had. And this realization that I knew that this had affected me, but I thought it just had to do with sex. And that I've now realized that it's so much bigger and so much deeper than that. And I've spent the last 12 years unable to be in any sort of meaningful relationship. And I'm clearly not as smart or as self analytical as I thought I was. I mean, hello, I just slept with this guy 2 days ago who I don't even like. And the reason I slept with him is because I don't like him. And that more than that, I actually thought that this was progress, that this was some strong choice I was making, that I was getting better. But really Dave is just another example of this really deeply fucked up thing. Another example of this cycle that I clearly have no idea how to get out of. And this self reflection turns into just really pathetic sense of feeling bad for myself. Because here I am, alone in a Planned Parenthood waiting room having just had to talk to a stranger about being raped. And I'm really tired and I've been sitting here for an hour and my finger hurts from the AIDS test and I am never going to find love. And I don't know how to fix myself. And I just can't deal with the thoughts inside my head anymore. So I slam the book shut and as I look up, I am confronted with Dave's snake oil smile on this television set advertising toothpaste and. And for a moment I just can't even breathe because I don't understand what's happening. And then the insane synchronicity of all of this hits me and I just start laughing hysterically and crying hysterically at the same time because what, like no one will believe me when I tell them what happened? And I'm just alone in the plantparent waiting room taking a few minutes to get my choking sobs under control. Just in time for my name to finally get called so I can go have a pap smear. It was that release of tears and laughter at the same time that made me finally realize that I. I really need to get help. And it still took me like another four months to actually call a therapist. I still don't really like having to talk about this and. And I don't like to admit that I'm not strong enough or smart enough to fix this on my own. But I feel confident now that it is okay to ask for help and that it's okay to want to fix what's broken, that we all do deserve to ask for help and to be okay. And I don't know yet exactly how I'm going to eventually move on from this experience, but I trust now that I will be able to. And I know that that will happen. And I also know no matter how many people have broken down hysterically in a Planned Parenthood waiting room, I am definitely the only person to have done it because of a Crest commercial.

[Liz Stewart]

From the start, he didn't know exactly why winter came made it so look alive, look alive. Maybe the grass would grow aiming at the sky.

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[Comedian Liz Stewart]

In elementary school, I was constantly accused of ruining class photos because I was making a weird face. And I'd always be like, I'm not making a weird face, that's just my face. But apparently like years later I would learn that whenever you take a photo, you should not look like you're excited to be there. Don't do a wide grin because it just makes you horizontal, makes you look a little heavy. You want to drop your chin, raise your eyes and look like you're too cool to be there. And that's something that I've never been able to master because I'm just not good at being cool or apathetic. I always have an opinion about everything. Like, this is how cool I was when I was in school. When I was in third grade, I started a petition to boycott recess until nuclear power was no longer considered to be a viable solution to the energy cris. I got one signature. Their name was recess is cool. You have no friends. I think it was this girl named Brandy. She was one of those people who spelt it weird. She was Brandy with an I. I think it was her who put it in there. And you know what? She wasn't wrong about me not having friends at school. I didn't have too many friends, but I had good friends at the house. I had George Carlin and Richard Pryor, and we would hang out every night when I'd listen to their records. And I didn't think that anybody in that class would be able to offer me anything more important than a dissertation on the seven dirty words that you can't say on television, you know, so I'm not really missing anything, you know, Plus, I would never have even have been in the same class as those people if they had offered an AP US History class. And they weren't doing that. You know, they were like mouth breathers, you know, so we shouldn't have been in the same class in the first place. And sure, it stung a little to be told that I didn't have any friends, but, you know, my theory on that was that all of these, like, 12 year olds wearing makeup. 12 and third grade. Oh, well, They didn't graduate on is what I'm saying. But all of these, like, kids running around wearing eyeliner, they're all going to be pregnant by the time that they are 12, you know, or 15. So what's the loss? No friends, no problem. You know, and I had bigger things on the horizon, you know, while they were out, you know, learning about beauty tips and how to be a contributing member to a social unit, I. I was fast tracking myself to becoming the world's first female President of the United States. Mm. Or an actor. Or an actor. Either one. I was keeping my options open. Um, some of you guys are probably thinking that's an assertion. I don't know. You, um, uh, some of you guys are probably thinking, wow, she's got it together. How can I get some of that? Well, hold on, tiger. This level of freaky is not something that just happens overnight. It takes years. As well as both nurture and nature working in tandem to culminate what you see before, you see, my father was a sociopath. I say was because he said, ha ha. Who wins now? I do. My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic genetic lottery winner. A table for one. But don't worry, I don't have either one of these mental afflictions. Although I really sincerely wish on occasion that I could be a sociopath. I really, really want to be. Because if I didn't have empathy, I would totally be further along in Hollywood. I would just step on the necks of anyone who got in my way. Regardless, just suck up to people who could do something for me. You know, I'd have the world by the balls. But I bring this up because of course I'm gonna come off a little freaky every now and then when those are my role models, right? Even in a family of freaks, I was still the freaky one. I was labeled as autistic because I would rarely speak. Turns out I wasn't autistic. I just didn't have shit to say to those people. My father was South African and the only thing he hated more than black people was disobedient women. Which is why I was left out of the will. It's fine. It's fine. Because all of the cash was from sales of blood diamonds. So I'm probably better off without it. My parents didn't divorced when I, at the age of two, caught my father breaking my mom's back, right? And I physically attacked him. I was like 2 years old, like 35 pounds. And they divorced. And because he held a knife to my throat and I'm like, fucking pussy. Who needs a fucking knife for a two year old, right? Like sincerely, you know, so it's like my earliest memory, which might have something to do with why I had a difficult time making deep, meaningful connections with men. Maybe might have something to do with it. I'm not a doctor. I have played a doctor on TV. It was on. I didn't know I was pregnant. 2009 Episode 6 Look It up so I'm no doctor, but I might have something to do with it. And I also ended up working in a strip club as a waitress for two years. For two years I made so much fucking bank. So we ended up living with my mother, who of course is paranoid schizophrenic. And she. She would tell us that she was an employee of the government. She worked for the government as a spy. And that if we back talked, her snipers positioned on the neighbor's roof would shoot us in the head. And I like to call people's bullshit. So I'd always be like, well, tell your men to take the shot. And then I'd lean out the window and be like, take the shot. They never took the shot because they weren't there. So my mother was raised in the Assemblies of God Church. My grandparents were missionaries for the Assemblies of God Church. Sounds great on paper, but if you don't convert, you don't get the food. So wipe those flies from your eyes and find Jesus, or nobody eats. But the Assemblies of God church is a church that makes the snake handlers look like reasonable people. And it's perfect for paranoid schizophrenics because her hallucinations were hailed as visions. So whenever she would see, you know, demons in the living room or hear angels who told her that I was out breaking curfew, it was completely and totally a normal occurrence for these people. Like, nobody said, hey, hold on a minute. You're seeing shit. Nobody said that. And I myself, I had received three baptisms and two exorcisms. It's true. It's true. I was never actually possessed by the devil, but it was Texas, and I'm a woman with an opinion, so that needs to be stopped immediately. One day, when I was arguing with my mother about going on a field trip, she decided that I needed an exorcism, and she was gonna do it herself. She's a DIY kind of gal. I was 15, and we got into a big old tussle, and she tried to kill me. I know it sounds. She had pinned me and was sitting on my chest and reciting the Lord's Prayer, rebuking the devil out of me. Both my parents have tried to kill me is what I'm saying, at some point. And this was kind of my breaking point because she had a towel over my face and was like, you know, devil be out, you know, and all of the rest of the Lord's Prayer. I don't think the devil be out is actually part of it, but you get my point. So I never, ever hit her back. And I boxed for eight years when I was a kid because I wanted to be a ninja. And I. And I know boxing isn't part of ninjutsu, but, you know, I did what I could with what I had, and I never, ever hit her back. And my mom was so fucking abusive to, like, all of us in really, every way. And I said, I'm not going to allow this, and you're not going to kill me. So I pulled my legs over her head Pulled her back and jumped up and was like, all right, you're not allowed to touch me ever. And none of the, none of my sisters ever. And she promptly grabbed my hair and tried to pull me down again. And I said, don't make me hurt you. And she didn't let go. So I hit her. And then I said, don't make me do it again. And she wouldn't let go and I hit her again. And then she bit me on the face. Like, who bites somebody on the fucking face, man? Like, who kind. Who does that, right? So I, I hooked her in the temple. And I found out two things that day. One, nobody has the right to put their hands on you, especially not someone. Who's supposed to love you. And two, if you hit somebody right in the temple, they will fucking drop. And like, it's like magic. And she promptly fell to the ground and started to convulse. And I called 911, said, hey, you need to send an ambulance. Mama tried to kill me. It's cool. She's twitching on the second floor bathroom. So I'm leaving the door open, taking my little sister, I'm taking the dog and we're getting the fuck out of here. They took her to the hospital. I wasn't there for that. I had fled and went on an indefinite stay of like, hey, can I sleep on your couch for like, maybe forever. I'm also bringing my little sister, she's a thief and the dog is not house trained. So it's win, win, win for everybody. So mom, after her stay in the hospital, she was evaluated and committed to a mental institution. I was like, oh, you know how long I've been trying to do this? I would have hooked her in the temple when I was five. And it was actually kind of validation because all this time I thought I was the crazy one. Like, I thought I was what was wrong. Turns out it was everybody else. So later I would enter the food service industry and support myself, get an apartment, put myself through college and come out here to LA with all you guys who are freaks yourselves, you know, I mean, LA is so great. It's like this melting pot of like fucked up people, you know, like everybody in here, at least one third of you got touched in your bathing suit area by somebody who shouldn't have been touching you, man. And I love you for it. And it's great because all this time I felt so like freakish and like I never. This needs more laughs. Like I would never have a home. And by not being normal and by Being such a freak. I have a home with all you fucked up people and the guys pushing their shopping carts up and down Sunset Boulevard, yelling at cars, you know, like they're my peeps. And I'm so glad. Like, I mean, of course it's going to be painful. It's always going to be painful. But I'm glad it happened because when people say, hey Liz, how's LA going? Is it hard for you out there? I can say I've seen worse. If I can survive my family and put my abusers. There have been a couple in the hospital. They all ended up in the hospital at some point. I think I can handle a callback for Jurgens. Thank you guys so much.

[Liz Stewart]

It. Propaganda I closed my eyes again it all came seeping in I wondered if I left my things in order. It seems so different that I pictured in my head everyone's fighting looked exactly like me the ground was shaking so I found a box full and I sti the there for an entire weekend. I've been waiting too long I don't want to be caring no more I've been waiting too long I don't want to be caring no more.

[Kevin Allison]

That is it for this episode, folks. This is Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr. Behind me now. And what you just heard was was the remarkable Ms. Liz Stewart, comedian in Los Angeles. You can find her@liz stewart.net she is something else. Before Liz, we heard from the beautiful Agnes Obel an excerpt of her song the Curse. And that recording of Liz's story is a perfect example of what our New York and Los Angeles shows are like. And if you are interested in storytelling, go to thestorystudio.org we teach all kinds of workshops for whatever your needs may be. We teach storytelling for business, for dating, for job interviews. We teach corporate workshops for business stats. We teach one on one storytelling over Skype. We have our online video course that you can take in your own time. So check us [e-mail] Folks, today's the day. Take a risk.

[Liz Stewart]

It.