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- [00:01]
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- [00:31]
IXL and LEGO Advertiser
days are shorter and schedules are packed, it's easy for kids to lose focus. IXL turns that winter slump into momentum with a simple, stress free way to keep skills sharp and stay engaged without adding pressure. IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning across math, language arts, science and social studies from Pre K through 12th grade. With personalized practice, instant feedback, clear explanations and progress tracking, it's easy to fit into even the busiest week. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixlearning.com audio Visit ixllearning.com audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. It's always amazing to see how quickly your child grows and I'm not just talking about their height. From those early babbles to full on storytelling. Getting to watch how their ideas, creativity and confidence develop over the years is honestly pretty incredible. Sometimes they surprise you with what they come up with and Lego bricks can be right there with them through all of those stages. It's not just a toy, it's a full creative building journey that keeps evolving as they do. Lego Sets Plan play starts as early as one and a half with Lego Duplo, the bigger bricks designed for little hands that are just starting to explore and build. Then around age 4, kids transition to the smaller LEGO bricks and suddenly you're watching real structures take shape, real ideas form and their imagination really take off. They begin with simple stacking, but over time they grow into full on creators, building worlds, stories and things you never would have expected. That's the kind of magic of LEGO bricks. You're not buying a phase, you're starting a journey. Learn more and start building today with LEGO bricks.
- [02:31]
Peloton and Angry Birds Narrator
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- [03:01]
Narrator/Host
Risk
- [03:04]
Kevin Allison
hey folks, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison and every Thursday we release these special episodes where we look back at content from our earlier years. Keep in mind that some announcements in older episodes might be outdated, some as well as some of what's said in the stories. We always say that the name of the series itself is a bit of a content warning. This week it's an episode that premiered in November of 2013, an episode we call Live from Brownrisd. Hello kids, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison and this is the Drifting Boulders behind me now. Because of course it is. I mean, you've been wondering when in hell we'd finally get the Drifting Boulders on here, and all I can say is you're goddamn very well aware of when we'll get them on now, because it's now. Today's episode is a very special one because it is live from Brown and risd, live from the campus of Brown University and featuring students from the nearby Rhode Island School of Design. It's the latest of our college campus shows because college kids are so, well, they take so many risks and really examine the lives that they're leading. And they're all so thrilled to see their friends getting up on stage and sharing this stuff. In fact, you know what would make sense? It would make sense if this show was going to at least one college per month. At least. So if you want Risk to come to your school or institution, write to me directly@KevinRisk Show.com One of the things that we thought was really cool was that now on this particular campus we visited, they have something called Brown Storytellers. Kind of sounds like a very specific fetish of mine, but it's a storytelling group there on campus. There should be a hell of a lot more of that. If you want some coaching on how to create your own storytelling group or storytelling show, take a Skype session one on one with me. Just go to thestorystudio.org alright? And to start us off here today we're going to feature one of those members of Brown Storytellers. This is David Jacobs with a story we Call over the limit.
- [06:47]
Narrator/Host
Now.
- [06:48]
David Jacobs
Young David Jacobs operated really at two speeds. There was 30 mile an hour David Jacobs. For those of you who don't know, that's the speed limit. I was nice, I was kind, I was funny. I wasn't the most popular kid in the class, but I had friends. Don't worry about me.
- [07:02]
Narrator/Host
And
- [07:04]
David Jacobs
most importantly, I listened to authority and I followed the rules. But then There was also 90 mile an hour David. Now, as you might expect, he had an uncontrollable temper, used expletives gratuitously. And if you saw this situation developing, it was an immediate warning of like an emergency evacuation kind of thing. Anyone within like a 10 mile radius probably wanted to get out of the area. In kindergarten, we had this assignment, City and country. We had to turn our classroom into a modern us small town. So we had the pancake house and the police station and the firehouse and the post office. And Scott and I had been given the library. The library was up in the loft. It was this beacon. It was like a city on a hill looking over the rest of the classroom. It was really the cushiest spot. So we put up this fake computer that didn't work. We put up all these old books. And I did a Google image search of librarians. So I dressed up in a gray sweater vest and a blue button down denim shirt because that's what librarians looked like on Google. So to me, that was just what it was. And everything was going great. We put a lot of effort into it. And I'm looking up into the library and I see Scott's talking. Now, I don't know that much about libraries aside from, you know, the uniform that I just learned about. But what I did know is that you're supposed to be quiet in a library. That's how you glean these major realizations from these books, is by, you know, quiet, steady focus. So I approached Scott, I said, scott, you know, listen, this is the library, not the pancake house, okay? Can we try to keep it down over here? And Scott looks at me confused and says, well, you know, it's our library. We can make whatever rules we want. Now, this was a very interesting point, but I was not in a place for rational debate. So I saw the mechanical pencil to my right, picked it up in my fist and said, scott, shut up or I'll shove this pencil down your throat. So Scott looked at me. Scott was a smaller kid than I was, and he looked at me dead in the eye. And he thought about it for a few seconds. And then he just got up and walked away. And to this day, I respect the hell out of him for having the balls to just walk away from that. But at the same time, he didn't confront me about it. He didn't make me consider how problematic a thing that was. And not only that, he rewarded me for it. I won. I got my quiet library in second grade. I hadn't finished this math sheet that I was supposed to finish in class. The Yankees had recently won the World Series, and hell if I was going to focus in math class. And so I'm sitting there working during recess and these two girls walk in and they had finished all the books that they had been assigned at this point. So they were coming in to find some more books to read. And I say that only so you have a sense of the elitist attitude that they entered the room with. And from the second they saw me sitting at the table working on this math sheet, I could see their eyes just light up. They couldn't contain themselves. The laughter just. It popped out. And I could feel my face getting red. I was so embarrassed. It was so clear how pathetic they thought I was. And I was about to explode at them when I thought, well, Dr. Schwartz once told me, instead of lashing out at people, instead you should write it down, crumple it up, throw it away, and that way you get the release without the repercussions. Now, even at this second grade age, I knew that this was the biggest bullshit I'd ever heard. This was a guy who my parents had sent me off to see. They had seen a 90 mile an hour David manifest himself enough times that they thought professional help was in order. So I hated this man. But I thought, if I'm spending all this time, I may as well give him a shot. So I do. So I take a piece of paper and a light blue marker and I go underneath the table where I was working and I write fucking bitch. It seemed doubly potent at the time. So I got it down. And then I'm down there, I crumple it up, I come out from the table, I go over to the trash can in the corner of the classroom, and I dig out the empty Cheez its box and the New York Times that had been used for paper mache. And I dug really deep down and then I placed the fucking bitch down there and I left the garbage. And I was feeling pretty good about myself. I was like, oh my God. Maybe this Dr. Schwartz is a pretty respectable character. Maybe he knows what he's talking about. But the whole time that episode was going on, the girls were still in the classroom. So they were understandably shocked and horrified. They had just watched me leave my work to go under the table where I wrote a mysterious thing down, crumpled it up, left the space under the table, proudly walked to the trash can, removed items from the trash can, placed it deep down in there, and then covered my tracks. So they did some investigative reporting and they found the fucking bitch. And it was too good a scoop. They had to take this to my teacher. And Sari knew 30 mile an hour David because she had taught my older brother and she knew my family. I had this great understanding of a relationship with her. At the same time, she'd just been handed probably pretty damning evidence in the form of the fucking bitch. So I was off to go see Principal George. Now, for the sake of this story, the only really important things to know about Principal George is that he had this gorgeous Burt Reynolds mustache that I still to this day am very jealous of. And he also had this just liberal ideology to match this ethical culture type school. So he was pretty open minded. When I walked in there and I said, I laid it all out on the table for him. I said, listen, George, I've been having some trouble controlling my anger. And this fellow Dr. Schwartz said, Just write it down. Release without the repercussions. You know what I just said? He thought about it for a second and he reached out to Dr. Schwartzman, who I have to assume said something along the lines of, yeah, that was my terrible idea. My apologies, my bad, my bad. Because George just let me go. And then fourth grade came around, and right before the school year began, when I was awaiting this letter showing me, you know, who was going to be in my class, what all the different teachers I would have would be, I got this letter from school telling me that I had this new buddy. We were going to have a new kid in fourth grade, and his name was Sam, and I was going to be his familiar face for the first day. Now, Sam is a white Jewish kid from Westchester, New York. Not too tall, but not too short, not fat, but, you know, a little cushion for the pushing. Liked sports, but, like, not too much. Was smart, but, like, not too smart. Very similar to the way I would have described myself at that age. I noticed that immediately when I met him. It was a little jarring and, you know, I was still so uncomfortable. I was trying to figure out my own place in the grade. I wasn't trying to pave the way for Some kid who was exactly like me. What if they choose him? You never know. So I decided I was going to be welcoming, but not too welcoming. I'd show him where the bathroom was, but I wouldn't tell him the cool lunchroom table. The good thing that happened before fourth grade was that I had finally convinced my mom that Allen Iverson was a reputable enough man that I should be able to wear his basketball shoes. And I don't know if you've ever seen the Allen Iverson answer 5s, but they are the coolest shoes, probably to this day, I've ever owned. And I walked into that classroom, and I was walking in on a cloud. I don't know if you know what it feels like to be wearing the coolest shoes in the room, but I do, because I did that day. And I was walking around on that cloud for weeks, until one day I saw Sam enter the room, and he was walking in on a cloud. And I thought, you know, I recognized that feeling. And I looked down at his shoes, and my man was wearing my Iverson answer 5s. Now, granted, they were a very popular shoe. He was also a new kid, so maybe he wasn't familiar with the rules of swagger jacking. I decided I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. A few weeks later, we're choosing what book we want to write our book report on. And I had just read Christopher Paul Curtis, Bud Not Buddy. It's a heartwarming and trying tale of a boy's search for his father. And I loved it. I really connected with this book. And so I made a point of going to my teacher very early and saying, I will be writing on Bud, not Buddy. Thank you so much. I can't wait. And the whole class kind of took note of that. And so everybody chooses their book. And it's, you know, somebody chooses, not Bud, not Buddy. And someone else chooses not Bud, not Buddy. And another person, not Bud, not Buddy, so on and so forth until we get to the end of the list. And one person just has to choose their book for their book report. And it's Sam, and he chooses Butt, not Buddy. Now, there was a finite list of books. It's not like he was just pulling from the sky and that was all he could grab. So I figured I gotta give him the benefit of the doubt. Even though no one else had picked Butt Nut Buddy, everybody else had kind of respected that I was going to do this incredible analysis and that it wasn't worth touching, but he felt ballsy enough to come in on my territory. But again, he was a new kid. I was supposed to be looking out for him. I let it slide. A few weeks after that, though, we were catching one of the last beautiful days of fall. We were out on the baseball diamond and the top of the inning had just ended and Sam and I were on the same team. And it's important to remind you here that we are both lefty. If you've never played baseball or haven't played a lot of baseball, you don't know that there are only really two. There only needs to be two lefties on a team. You got like, a lefty's great as a pitcher and as a first baseman, but other than that, every other position is played better by righty. And so Sam is going out onto the field and he sees this lefty glove laying there on the floor. And he thinks, oh, I'm sure this doesn't belong to anyone else. This will be harmless. I'll pick this one up and I'll just. He goes out into the field. But I see this happen and I'm thinking, bud, not buddy. I'm thinking my Iverson answer fives I and all of our similarities. And I just yell at him. I say, sam, stop stealing my stuff. I'll fucking kill you. And so Sam looks back at me, smiling at first, hoping that I'm just kidding, that I won't actually kill him over this basement glove. But after looking into my eyes for only a second, he knew that there was not. I wasn't kidding even in the slightest. My face was getting to its normal tomato red and I was all business. And he sheepishly put his head down and walked over to me and gave me the glove. Our team ended up winning the game. And no one talked about this incident. No one brought it up with me. Nobody was, like, talking about it amongst themselves. There's no crazy whispers in the corner. It just. It blew over. Until the next morning. It's 8:30 and I'm looking around the classroom and Sam isn't there. And then it's. It's 8:35 and Sam still isn't there. And 8:40 comes by. And finally 8:45 rolls around and I look outside the classroom and Sam's dad's there. And just behind him, barely peeking out from behind him, is Sam, too afraid to come into this classroom, this place that should be nothing but a safe learning environment for him. So his dad presses onward and goes in and finds my teacher and says, you know, my son was afraid to come to school today. Do you know why that is. And Nicole is beside herself. She has no idea. She says, I'm so sorry. Please tell me, what can I do? What happened? Who did this? And he just looked at her and said, one of your students threatened to fucking kill my son. And I'm watching all of this happen, and I'm sinking further and deeper into my chair because I know what's coming. Ever since I looked into the hallway and saw Sam hiding behind his dad, I started to try to think of some sort of excuse or rationale for my actions, and I was coming up completely empty. I had nothing. After a few more seconds of sinking, Nicole rescued me and told me that I would be off to go visit my old friend Principal George. Now we got down to George's office, and this time he had another idea in mind. He didn't want just my apology. He had this dream of an Oslo Accords moment, of Yasser and Yitzhak coming together on the front lawn and smiling and shaking hands and breezing past years of intractable problems with just this foolhardy smile, mustache, and handshake. And I was all too willing to give it to him. I jumped up and said, sam, I'm so sorry. This will never happen again, and extended my hand out. And Sam, he was too new. He didn't want to get a reputation for being a stick in the mud or some sort of snitch. And so he apprehensively reached out his hand and shook mine back. And we left the room. And I eluded punishment. If you're concerned, Sam today is a Division 1 lacrosse goalie. So I imagine the incidents that occurred in fourth grade would go down somewhat differently if it were to happen again. Not that I'm not a force to be reckoned with, but I'm about as physically intimidating as like an Easy Bake Oven. You could burn yourself maybe a little bit, but that would be the end of the encounter. You would just close it up and walk away. But even though I escaped formal punishment, I'll really never be able to erase the image of Sam cowering behind his father, afraid to come into a classroom where I myself had felt attacked and alienated because of words that I had screamed at him in moment of fury. It was the first time in my life where I was truly embarrassed to be in my own skin. And I could think of no words to defend my actions. That was my mistake. Thank you.
- [22:42]
Narrator/Host
Remember?
- [22:46]
Musical Performer / Singer
How did I get so far off center? Where does a fractured view through faulty lenses?
- [23:00]
David Jacobs
What? Do you trust me?
- [23:01]
Musical Performer / Singer
Can't trust your senses
- [23:06]
David Jacobs
But I can
- [23:07]
Musical Performer / Singer
fly through the heavens all the power of my heart, friend my way through a string of stars to write your.
- [23:25]
Kevin Allison
This is Risk. And this is Toad the Wet Sprocket behind me now with their first album of new stuff since 1997 and sounding as fresh as ever.
- [23:37]
David Jacobs
Go get it.
- [23:39]
Kevin Allison
The album and song, the song we're hearing now are both called New Constellation. And before we get back to the Brown and RISD stories, I wanted to say a word about Hulu. You've probably tried Hulu, but now you can watch your favorite shows and movies anytime, anywhere. Hulu lets you watch thousands of selections on your TV or your smartphone or your tablet, wherever it all streams in hd. You can check out exclusive content, including Hulu originals like The Awesomes starring SNL's Seth Meyers, or Moonboy starring Chris O' Dowd from Bridesmaids. For only $7.99 a month, you can stream as many TV shows and movies as you want, wherever you want. And right now you can try Hulu+free for two weeks when you go to huluplus.com risk that's huluplus.com risk. Also, with the holidays almost here, you don't have time to go to the post office with the traffic and the parking and the whatnot. Use stamps.com instead. With stamps.com you can do everything you do at the post office, but right from your own computer and printer, you can buy and print official US Postage. Print it up for any letter or package. I use stamps.com you should too. Right now get this special offer when you use our promo code Risk. It's a no risk trial plus $110 bonus offer that includes a digital scale and up to $55 free postage. So don't wait. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else. Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in risk. That's stamps.com, enter risk. Now let's get back to the Brownrisd show with a story from RISD student Hanya Ansari. It's a story we call Street Smarts.
- [25:48]
Narrator/Host
Hi, I was born in Karachi, Pakistan. It's a place I'm deeply attached to and will always call home Decoding. The Pakistani culture is a little bit complicated because of the diversity that we're blessed with, which is one of the things that I love about the city, because everyone has a story to tell. The story that I'm about to tell takes place in a time where the violence in the city was Escalating. And it was mostly gang related violence between criminal mobs and like petty street thugs. So every so often you would hear of a friend or a relative who'd been robbed in the streets or had their phone or wallet taken away from them. One of my uncles had been robbed so many times that he started keeping a cheap phone and an extra stash of cash separate from his smartphone and his wallet so that he would have something to give when they asked him for things. One thing that he always told me was that you should always have something to give because it's almost worse if you don't because they might not believe you and then try to hurt you. At this point in my life, I was a junior in high school, and even though I loved my city, my parents were very keen on sending me to the college in the States. So I was enrolled in a whole bunch of AP classes. And one of these was AP calculus. And this was a subject that I was having the most difficulty with. But I'm very blessed to come from a family who's very willing to provide me with the resources that I need to succeed. So I enrolled in these after school classes and the other thing that they provided me with was a TI89. I don't know if you guys had a TI89 in high school or TI84, but you guys probably know it has like a million buttons and is super expensive. So one day my boyfriend and I just decided to skip one of the after school classes and decide to go out to eat instead. So we went to this roadside restaurant, and it's not like a proper restaurant, you kind of just have to pick up the food and eat in the car. So he parked the car and he went in and I was waiting in the car. And the mistake that both him and I made was that he forgot to lock his side of the driver's door. And it didn't occur to me to lock it from the inside because I was too busy playing around with the radio. So moments after he went in, the driver's side of the door opened again. And I thought that my boyfriend had come back. I thought that maybe he forgot something in the car or whatever. So I turned to look and there's this strange young man staring back at me. And he was about my age and he was dressed in the traditional garment and he had this very rushed look on his face and he kept jerking his hand back and forth and he kept saying, give it to me, give it to me, give it to me. And it was so absurd. And confusing. And I didn't even have time to process the situation. I was about to ask him, do you need help? Are you okay? But before I could even say anything, I saw from under his shirt, he pulled out something metal, something shiny. And he took this object and shoved it against my head. And it hit me that this was a gun. At that point, my whole body just froze. And I remember the air becoming really thick. I wasn't even afraid. I think I just became numb. And so with this gun on my head, the gravity of the situation hit me. And I immediately started trying to think, what could I give him? And the words of my uncle kept repeating in my head that you should always have something to give. At that point, I didn't even own a phone, and I didn't even have any money on me. So in a very automatic motion, my hand just reached into my backpack, and I took out the first thing that I could find, and it was my TI89. And I just put it in his hand. But he got really mad at me. He grunted at me. He said, is this a joke? You're gonna give me a calculator? And as he said this, he shoved the gun harder into my head. And any other time, I would probably think I would be silenced out of fear. But somehow when he did that, it kind of snapped a bit of courage in me to reason with him. And I said, no, no, no. I don't mean to offend you. This is really expensive. It's more expensive than most phones. So he was just looking at me. He was looking at the calculator. And I guess he was trying to consider the situation. And while this was happening, I noticed that behind him, he had a partner outside. And he also kind of bent into the car, and I guess he was trying to rush the guy with the gun. They just wanted to get over the job and get over it and go run away as fast as possible. I wasn't sure if they had seen my boyfriend before they came, But I was hoping to get this over with as fast as possible, too, because if my boyfriend came back, then we would be in a real situation, because he was a foreigner, and usually they think that foreigners have more money. So I just didn't want him to get into a bigger problem. I thought they might even take him away or whatever. But then the gunman kind of shushed his partner. I guess he had a bit of authority over him. And the next thing he did was really strange. Instead of bending in through the door as he had been doing, he kind of got into the car, he sat in the driver's seat. He slowly removed the gun from my head. He placed the calculator on my lap. And then he turned to me and he said, teach me how to use this. Now, I finally remembered to breathe after the gun was removed from my head. And I was trying to think, what does he mean, teach me how to use this? Because even I didn't know everything about this very advanced machine. And as you guys know, I was already struggling with the subject. So I thought maybe I should show him the graphing function, because it's this visual element that most calculators don't have. And so I just tried. The whole point was basically just to show him that this was not like a $1.60 rupee calculator. Like, this was really legit. So I just started trying to think of any function I could put in a graph. And just like the stress of the situation, it took me so long to come up with something. But I remember what I finally came up with was X to the power of four minus two. And I'll never forget that. So. So I put this into the calculator, and then the screen kind of drew the curve and I turned it and I showed it to him and he observed it. And then he told me to go back to the page where I'd put in the value. So I did that for him. And to my surprise, he took the calculator from me and he started putting in values himself and graphing them. And here I thought, wait, so these guys have an educational background? And I guess that moment kind of dissolved the tension a little bit because it reminded me of a time in the past where I used to work for this non profit, and they ran a night school for kids who'd be working in the day or begging or even robbing, like these guys were. So in a way, I could almost give them a role in my head or picture them. And I guess at that moment I felt less flustered and I felt I could maybe engage with them. And as all of this was going on in my head, he kind of caught me off guard. He asked me this question that went along the lines of, of how do you find the optimization of certain value or something or the other? And I didn't even know the answer to that. So obviously he was more advanced than me. So I told him, I don't know how to do that, but I downloaded Minesweeper on this if you want to see how to do. So I showed it to him, and he Admitted that it was pretty cool.
- [33:06]
Daisy
And
- [33:09]
Narrator/Host
very abruptly he then just started to leave from the car. And I said to him, I was like, aren't you gonna take the calculator? And he said, it's alright. And he said, it's nothing personal. And he started to leave. And at that moment, I don't know, I had this motivation to just give it to him because I was so impressed with his knowledge. He knew so much more than me. And I think usually when these guys steal things, they get phones, they get wallets, and these things go into the black market. But him getting this calculator as a gift from me rather than something that he stole might mean something different. So I insisted that he take it. And he did. And he started to leave with his partner without saying a word. And as soon as they were out of sight, I jumped to lock the doors of the car. And I was just sitting there and I was shaking and my heart was throbbing and my fingers were sweating. And I was just waiting for. For my boyfriend to come back. And when he finally did, I told him, you missed the big show. Thank you,
- [34:18]
Kevin Allison
Anya.
- [34:19]
David Jacobs
I'm sorry. We'll be right back. We're back.
- [34:24]
Kevin Allison
Our final storyteller tonight is another lovely lady from risd. Welcome to the stage, Daisy.
- [34:41]
Daisy
She lay asleep in my bed, her hair glistening in the candlelight. And Forrest and I slid down off the bed onto my furry rug in front of my candlelit fire. This rich silence filled the room and I was so content. I met Lucy in my fall semester course. She was smart and intelligent and had this really sexy butt. And I really liked her. Immediately crushing so hard on her. And we always wanted to hang out. It didn't happen, but we've always wanted to. Until six or seven months later, May, when I bumped into her at this swanky bar. And we're downstairs and we're both pretty drunk and we run up to each other and we hug and we're excited. And she tells me she just recently broke up with her asshole of a boy. He really was an asshole of a boyfriend. I'm really happy she did. And she's like, oh, I need a new adventure. I want to do new things. I went upstairs to get another gin and tonic. And while I was coming back downstairs, all of a sudden I feel this hand reach out and grab my arm. And I turn and it's her.
- [35:53]
Narrator/Host
It's Lucy.
- [35:54]
Daisy
And she's standing there. She's a little bit drunk, but she's so cute. And she goes, do you like girls? Because we should hang out. Two weeks later, I'm at her house. She's having a birthday party for her roommate or something like that. And she introduces me to a series of unforgettable, completely forgettable people. Except one. Forrest. Forrest looks like he could fell a tree in your backyard and make a table and then make sweet love to you on that table all in one day. He is burly and he's awesome. At some point in the night, the night's progressed, as has our tequila intake. And I'm standing in the corner of the room, and I'm trying to figure out the next cool song to play for people to dance to. And I feel this presence. And I turn and it's Lucy. And she picks up our conversation we'd had earlier in the night. And she asked me, you said you like being with girls. Tell me more about that. I don't know if it was the amount of tequila I drank or the fact that I had my crush standing in front of me, but I didn't say much. I reached out my arm, I wrap it around her back, and I look at her and I say, I can't tell you, but I can show you. And I kissed her, and she kissed me back. And it was a sweet moment. And she. She pulls away. She kind of grins and walks away, and she's like, I have to get another glass of wine. I'll be right back. She comes back and she has this new look on her face. She wants to tell me something. I can tell. She comes up and she says, you remember that guy I introduced you to earlier on Forest? I'm like, yeah, of course I remember Forrest. And she says, well, him and I have been hooking up for a few weeks now, and we're wondering if you would like to join us tonight. And on the outside, I'm keeping a queen, but on the inside, I'm thinking, holy fucking shit. Like, oh, my God. I thought I was gonna be with her, but now this is big. It's a threesome. And I go, yeah. Moments later, we're leaving the party, and we're heading to Forrest's apartment, who's getting it ready for us. And we enter the room, and he's standing there like this, like, so excited, right? This is this guy's wet dream come true. And he. Between his sculpture and his artwork and his clothes that are lying around are these mattresses and these blankets and these pillows. And it sounds creepy, but it wasn't as creepy as it sounds. It really wasn't. But on a more serious Note, it was the first time I saw the two of them together. And they were like two liquids going down the same stream. Their energy was perfect. They functioned so well. I couldn't believe that they had just been dating. And that same way of being. They carried over into our sex that night. It was amazing. I've been in threesomes before. This blew the others out of the park. Everything was perfect. It went well. I mean, like, we just knew what to do, everything. Like, there was no awkwardness. I left the next morning, and I didn't see them for a while after that until this food fair where Forrest was manicking one of the things. And he was standing there, and he has this plate in his hand. I grab it from him, and as I do, his hand brushes over my hand. And I look up, and he just has this big grin on his face. And I turn and. And I see in the distance, Lucy. She has that same grin on her face. And I do, too. I have that same grin. And the three of us share this grin together. And I know that what we had was pretty significant. Summer comes and goes, and I don't see them for a while. I don't really talk to them or anything. But when school starts up again, so does what we had in the beginning. We. We actually start a relationship. We come together, and it's very much them and me, but it isn't when we're together. When we're together, it's us. And they just started dating. It wasn't like they were boyfriend and girlfriend already. They were just starting this out. And I was. At the beginning of this, I got to see the two of them really manifest and come together. And I needed this, because this came at a time when I. You know, stability isn't something I'm really used to. I have lived in three countries. I have lived in 18 houses. I have gone to 11 different schools. The list goes on. So stability comes in me. I carry my own stability. I'm not used to having people hold my stability for me. And they did. And they were so good to me. And they were always there when I needed them. And I really started falling in love with the two of them. It was more than just that threesome. So many nights ago. One night, they came over my apartment. I had been so upset for a week. School was stressing me out. I was really heartbroken over how much work I had. And they came and they brought me wine. And it wasn't sex. It was. They just stayed with me all night long, and they held me and they talked to me, and they made sure I was okay. And this is when I realized this is really real. They really love me. I knew Lucy better, but I got to knew Forrest, too. And one morning, after Forrest and Lucy and them had stayed over, Forrest and I were making breakfast, and Lucy had to go to class first. Forrest and I sat down on my balcony and we were having breakfast. And he talks to me about his family. And it turns out that him and I have basically the same family situation. And I don't share that with many people, and he didn't share that with Lucy. And it was something that him and I, it bonded us. And we really had, like, these moments where we knew that we belonged together. I would go and I'd be with Lucy, and I would see she was. She was kind of predisposed, like, very energetic, really excited, you know. And I saw her become grounded and her work became better. And she talked to me about how she could not do that without Forrest. No way could she. And I would go visit Forest in his studio, and he would show me his work. And one time he looked at me,
- [42:21]
Narrator/Host
he goes,
- [42:23]
Daisy
everything I do is for her. Everything. Do you see my work? I became the keeper of these secrets, these secrets of love. I don't think many people get to experience that. I was not just their sexual buddy, you know, I was really someone that they trusted with the deepest secrets. And Forrest told me that day, he told me, don't tell her. Don't tell Lucy. I said that I don't need her knowing that. I want her to feel that. One thing they gave me that I don't think is, you know, you can't even put into words really, is the trust they gave me. They trusted me not to ruin their relationship. It's different to be friends with a couple than to actually sleep with them, to be with them in so many ways. And I promised I wouldn't break that I was not going to break their relationship. And this was hard because Lucy was a senior and Forrest and I were both juniors. This meant that we had to know that Lucy was going to leave one day. She wasn't always going to be with us. And we had. We had never really ever talked about what we were doing. I know that seems crazy. At no point did we talk about what was happening. It just functioned. It just happened. It was so smooth. It was so real and so raw, and there was no need to put it into words. We just never felt it because it wasn't breaking up. I never hurt them. But one night it was January. So this has been going on for a while. And it was January the next year, and there was this party happening, or we were going out to a party. I can't remember completely, but we were in my room, Lucy and I and Forrest and our other friends were in the other rooms. And Lucy, I think everything that had happened piled up to that moment. And she broke down, and she looked at me, and she.
- [44:16]
IXL and LEGO Advertiser
She.
- [44:16]
Daisy
She started crying. She. She was so scared. She had never verbalized her fears until that moment. She looked at me. She said. She said, I don't know what to do. I'm leaving. I'm leaving this guy. I'm leaving this guy I love, and I'm going to break. I have to break up with him. I can't burden him. I can't keep him down. I feel like I'm keeping him from doing his work. I feel like I'm stopping him and halting him, and I don't know what to do. And she got really frantic and really upset. And I hadn't seen her like this before. And it was the worst because she was so scared also that I would be with Forrest when she left. And it was weird because here I was, I was now her best friend and her lover. And she was confiding to me, her fear of me breaking the relationship that she had with Forrest. But then also, she needed me because I was her friend. And I held her. And this was the one moment that me being the medium of love between them had its biggest significance, because I held her and I picked her up, and I said. She said, you cannot break up with him. You cannot break up with him. And I held her by her shoulders, and I looked at her, and I was like, you don't know how much he loves you. And I told her the secrets that Forza told me, even though he had told me not to tell her. I told her, look, all the work he does is for you. And I went down the list, and I told her everything. And she sat there and the tears started to dry up, and she, you know, and this is. It's so hard to see someone you love. I loved her much. So, so much. And to see her so pained and so scared that I could hurt her hurt me, too, because I love, and I still love them so, so much. These are people that changed my life. And she said, okay. She didn't break up with them. I pulled away from the sex after that. I didn't want them to fear that I would ever hurt them, because I really wanted them to be together. I have never met anyone my age that in love. And I don't know if it's because I was that much a part of their relationship, but to see that, to see people like that love each other, to see them in bed, the looks that they gave each other, I have never seen on anyone. May came and Lucy graduated. But I was really right about something. They were meant for each other. They're still together today. They're still my best friends. Thank you.
- [46:51]
Musical Performer / Singer
I'm always a mess Never on time Drive too fast makes me feel alive I don't care if we're doing things right Start with a kiss we never could say good night all right
- [47:15]
IXL and LEGO Advertiser
it's
- [47:16]
Musical Performer / Singer
okay Just break my heart open
- [47:21]
David Jacobs
do
- [47:22]
Musical Performer / Singer
it while we're young
- [47:26]
David Jacobs
on
- [47:28]
Musical Performer / Singer
cuz worry is a wasteland so sick of making sense let's do it while we're young
- [47:39]
Narrator/Host
Y
- [47:43]
Musical Performer / Singer
is a wasteland
- [47:48]
Kevin Allison
that is all for this week's episode. This is Jules Larson and AG behind me now, a huge, gargantuan, enormous thank you to Yotam Tabul and Daisy. Yotam is a student at Brown. Daisy is a student at risd, and the two of them helped me produce that show. Perhaps you could be the student on your campus to do what they did write to me at kevinrisk-show.com. well, with all that said, folks, today's the day. Take a risk.
- [48:25]
Musical Performer / Singer
It's okay Just break my heart open do it while we're young Young
- [48:38]
David Jacobs
this
- [48:38]
Musical Performer / Singer
worry is a wasteland so sick of making sense let's do it wild I we. Is a wasteland and I don't want to waste this worry is a was I don't want to waste this
- [49:07]
David Jacobs
worry
- [49:08]
Musical Performer / Singer
is a wasteland and I don't want to waste the this.
- [49:18]
Peloton and Angry Birds Narrator
Once upon a time, there was an angry little red bird. He was the angriest little red bird you ever saw. He was angry at all kinds of things.
- [49:29]
David Jacobs
Stop stealing my stuff. I'll fucking kill you.
- [49:34]
Peloton and Angry Birds Narrator
Then he would go away saying, fucking bitch.
- [49:46]
Daisy
Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe.
- [50:03]
IXL and LEGO Advertiser
Oh, sorry. I almost.
- [50:04]
Daisy
I just couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry.
- [50:09]
Narrator/Host
Namaste.
- [50:10]
IXL and LEGO Advertiser
Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.
- [50:14]
Narrator/Host
1-800-contacts.
- [50:16]
LifeLock Advertiser
It's tax season. And at LifeLock, we know you're tired of numbers, but here's a big one you need to hear.
- [50:22]
David Jacobs
Billions.
- [50:22]
LifeLock Advertiser
That's the amount of money and refunds the IRS has flagged for possible identity fraud. Now here's another big number. 100 million. That's how many data points LifeLock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it. Guaranteed. One last big number. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast for the threats you can't control. Terms apply.