Kevin Allison (3:02)
So it's 2012, and I'm scrolling through Facebook. And in between cat videos and foursquare check ins because it's 2012, I see a post from an old friend of mine. Actually, I hadn't seen her in years. We were really close my first year of teaching and the post was, I'm dying. It was like, I'm dying. My kidneys are completely giving up on me. All of my friends and family have already tried to donate a kidney to me, and this is my last resort. So Facebook is somebody willing to donate a kidney to me? And I dropped everything and sent her a message. I was like, I am so sorry. I didn't even know you were sick. We haven't spoken in a while, but like, absolutely. What do I need to do? And thus began this really intense series of tests. So I don't know if you guys know, but it's incredibly difficult to be approved to donate a kidney, which is why all of her friends and family had been rejected. So they run every test you can possibly run on a human being, including a pretty intense psychological exam, and if they find one thing wrong with you, they say no. But I was very lucky and I got approved to donate. But Julia and I as a couple were not as lucky because I could not directly give my kidney to her. We were not a direct match. So it's way more complicated than I have time to explain to you. But you have to be blood type, tissue type, antigen, and a bunch of other stuff, right? So I couldn't directly give my kidney to Julia, but we were approved to go into this really cool system called the National Kidney Swap Registry. So it's this algorithm, this amazing computer that tries to take all of the incompatible donor recipient pairs across the country and figure out if I can give my kidney to some random person in the country that I'm a match to. And then further down this swap chain, Julia will get one. So we go into the system and the computer gets to work and is trying to figure out how to make a chain. And at the very last minute, Julia directly matches with someone else and my kidney is not needed. Guys, it was amazing to watch the transformation of my friend Julia, right? She was not being hyperbolic on Facebook, right? She was attached to dialysis, which is basically the machine from Princess Bride, you know, like she was going home every day and hooking herself up and being like, please don't go to 50. Like, that was her day. And this one surgery, just every time I saw her, she was like a new and happier person. And then last year, she got pregnant. She had a baby. And I was looking at this child, and I was like, oh, my God. This new life and every life that will be touched by it only exists because someone was willing to donate their kidney. And I just couldn't. I just couldn't justify not doing it for a stranger. So I called the same organization, and I said, this time, I want to donate my kidney to anyone. I want to be what you guys call a good samaritan donor. And it had been long enough to where they made me go through all the testing again. But again, I was very lucky. I got approved. And this time, it moved very quickly. I mean, within two weeks of my testing, the surgery date was set, and the computer was loving it, because this time, I didn't go in with any conditions. Last time, I went in with a very complicated condition, which was Julia, right? Julia has to receive one. And this time, I'm like, I'll give it to anybody. Kidney for you. Kidney for you. And the computer was like, awesome. And it got to work, and it figured out the longest possible chain, right? It was like, oh, my God. She can give her kidney to this person who's been waiting, and their incompatible donor can give their kidney to this person, and their incompatible donor can give their kidney to this person. And so when the surgery date was set, there was already a chain of 16 surgeries that my donation was going to set off, right? So I was going to pull eight people off of that monstrous, horrible wait list. Like, what an honor. And I struggled with how to kind of deal with the celerity. It was moving so quickly. And I thought, you know, like, I don't want to be misunderstood. I don't want people to think that this is really weird, that I'm some kind of, like, hero or saint. So I chose to keep it very private, and I told very few people, But I did have to choose a caretaker, so I definitely had to ask someone to take care of me. You can't do anything, basically, for the first week. And my mother is a nurse. Seems pretty obvious that you would ask your mom, the nurse. But it was a very complicated decision for me because my relationship with my mother the last couple years has been very strained. She was this glowing, beautiful presence when I was a child, and this drinking problem had entered into her life and just sucked her into this really horrible place. And physically, she was unwell, she looked 20 years older than she should have looked. She was getting slurring drunk every night. And with it came this horrible cloud of negativity. I remember she came to visit me when I was living in New York. It was basically a jump from alcoholic serving establishment to alcoholic serving establishment. And if they were more than two blocks away from each other, she would complain. And we would go down into the subway and she would turn her tiny engagement ring around and say, I hear that they take your jewelry on the subway. And I was like, who are you? Who are you? You don't even resemble the mother that I knew when I was a child. And so, like, when I had to choose this caretaker, I was thinking, like, first of all, there's a very real risk that this woman can't stay sober, honestly, for a week to take care of me. And also, like, that kind of negativity is not something I need around me when I'm going through this major recovery. So I wrestled with it for a couple days, but then I finally decided to ask her. So I invited her to come up. And she could only take exactly X number of days off, so she was going to come in the night before my surgery. And as the surgery approached, I was just. Guys, I was getting overcome with this level of fear and anxiety that I never known before and didn't really know how to deal with. Like, the most extreme medical thing I'd ever been through was having my wisdom teeth removed. You know, like, I had no idea what to expect. I had read all the things, but I had no idea what to expect as far as the actual experience. And I remember the Friday before this surgery came, like, it was now less than a week away. And I almost, like, I think I was having a panic attack. I don't know. I was. My palms were sweaty. I was very light headed. I was so afraid. I couldn't stop focusing, like, laser focus on all of the things that I'd read, you know, like, what if I die on this operating table? What if I get an infection? What if my kidney dies on the Runway trying to get to this person that I'm trying to help? What if one day my other kidney fails? What if someone I really love needs one and I've already given it up to, like, Joe Schmo? You know, like, all of these thoughts just were swirling around and I had no one to share them with or talk to. So I was kind of a mess. And I started frantically cleaning my apartment, and I found this bag of clothes that I had shoved into the corner, probably years ago that needed to be tailored and repaired. And I was like, perfect. Perfect distraction. So I go on Yelp, and I'm searching for the closest tailor, and sure enough, there was someone who worked right out of her apartment, literally down the street from mine. And her name was Brunhilde. And I was like, yes, Brunhilde, that's exactly what I need. And I give her a call, and of course she's available. Thick German accent When she answers the phone, I was like, this is perfect. This is meant to be. And so I start walking down the street to Brunhilda's apartment. And it's February. It's Boston. It's snowing. I'm crying. It's all very emo. And I have my bag of clothes, and I get to Brunhilda's apartment, and she opens the door, and she looks exactly the way that you think she looks like. Giant German woman, huge boobs. And I walk in, and I open the bag of clothes, and I start pulling them out to kind of explain to her the things that I needed done to them. And she cuts me off. She says, honey, what's wrong?
