Loading summary
Transcript41 lines
- [00:01]
Ryan Reynolds
This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Knowing you could be saving money for the things you really want, like that dream house or ride, is a great feeling. That's why the State Farm Personal Price Plan can help you save when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. On WhatsApp, no one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or trading those late night voice messages that could basically become a podcast, your personal messages stay between you, your friends and your family. No one else, not even us. WhatsApp message privately with everyone Ryan Reynolds.
- [00:58]
Mint Mobile Representative
Here from Mint Mobile. With the price of just about everything going up, we thought we'd bring our prices down. So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a.
- [01:07]
Kevin Allison
Thing Mint Mobile unlimited premium wireless 3030 better get 30. Better get 202020 better get 2020 better get 151515 15. Just 15 bucks a month.
- [01:16]
Moses Storm
Sold.
- [01:17]
Mint Mobile Representative
Give it a try at mintmobile.
- [01:19]
Ryan Reynolds
Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com this episode is brought to you by Greenlight. Get this Adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes, us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight, you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treat starting start prioritizing their financial education and future today with a risk free trial at greenlight.com Spotify greenlight.com Spotify.
- [02:05]
Kevin Allison
Hey folks, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison and every Thursday we release these special episodes where we look back at content from our earlier years. But before we start today 2, there is still time to jump into one of my two final online storytelling workshops I'm leading this summer. In fact, even if you're hearing this announcement after a workshop has started, there's enough flexibility for jumping in late and catching up. And I can help you with that. So email me at kevinrisk-show.com to learn more. Second, risk is turning 16 this fall. If you have a story or where the number 16 plays a role, or a story about when you were 16 or maybe you are currently 16, or hell, even if you were born in 1916 or 2016, or have a story that somehow takes place in one of those years, pitch us your story. Whether it's super short or light and fluffy or a whole meal. Like most Risk stories, that's a lot of mixed metaphors. You can pitch us@pitchesrisk-show.com and or kevinrisk-show.com Okie Doke. This week, an episode that premiered in May of 2013. It's an episode we call Mother Lovers.
- [03:49]
Mint Mobile Representative
Wa.
- [04:35]
Kevin Allison
Hello kids. This is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison, and this is Guadalupe Plata. Behind me now, a song recommended to me by Risk music intern Jason Josephs. If you'd like to be a Risk music intern as well, write to me at kevinrisk-show.com now we're calling today's episode Mother Lovers, because this one is going out right around Mother's Day 2013. And in just a bit, we're going to hear from the charming Jenny Smith. But first, we're going to hear from actor and comedian Moses Storm told a really phenomenal story at the Risk Live show in Los Angeles at the Nerdmelt Theater. Let's get right to that. This is Moses Storm, the story we call Semi Charmed kind of life.
- [05:45]
Jenny Smith
In 1998, I was living in Florida with my mom, who is a single mom of five kids. She's recently single and she's at the height of her midlife Crisis. She's about 35, and at this point she stops dressing like a mom and more like a very conservative prostitute. And she would just disappear at night and none of us kids knew where she went. She would just rent a movie for us and then disappear. But we could kind of guess, like, what she was doing depending on the amount of movies she would rent for us. Like if she rented two movies, we knew she was on a date or she's meeting up with someone. Three movies, she's probably at the club. Four movies, we probably have a new daddy. Four movies rarely happened. Her idea in her head was that eventually she was gonna be out one night and she was gonna meet some guy at a club and she was gonna tell Him. Her story about how she had these five kids and a dad that didn't pay any child support, and this guy was just gonna, like, provide for her and her kids unlimitedly. You know how guys at nightclubs are so willing to provide for women with children. That's why they go to get locked down. So on her own, she did have a lot of creative ways of providing for us. One of those ways that she would like a lot. But the biggest problem with this, though, is she wasn't very good at it. Yeah, I remember one time she tried to steal bottles of vitamins from a grocery store. And I don't know if you've ever tried to steal bottles of vitamins before, but it's a lot like trying to steal maracas. Shh, shh, shh. Ma', am, you got anything in your bag you want to tell us about?
- [07:31]
Mint Mobile Representative
Shh.
- [07:34]
Jenny Smith
So one night we're in a roller rink in Florida, and my mom decides to steal a pair of rollerblades from the rink. A pair of rollerblades for me. And I was very excited about this. This is kind of the point where I was like, I think she's just like, stealing things she doesn't even need anymore. And then she stole me some rollerblades. I was like, I can see how this works. Get your heart rate up, you need it. And I never had a pair of new rollerblades. I was the youngest of five, so everything was like a hand me down, hand me down, hand me down. I love these rollerblades. Anyway, a couple weeks go by and we're gonna return to that same roller rink because my mom heard on the radio that the band Third Eye Blind is gonna be there. And yep, they're gonna be judging a skate off. I'm sure a highlight in their career. They're gonna be judging a skate off. And the winner of the skate off's gonna get to meet Third Eye Blind. And they're gonna. And they're gonna get free concert tickets. So my mom was very excited about the possibility of meeting our new dads. So she was very dressed up for the occasion. She was in thigh high black socks with silver zippers down the back and these jean shorts and this belly shirt that hoists her boobs up so high, made it look like she was wearing one of those travel neck pillows. And like, all of us kids was five. Cause we all looked at each other and we were like, we are getting four movies tonight, tell you that. And so she's coaching us on the way there. Because at this point, she had figured out that, you know, guys don't really like when we have kids. So she's coaching us on the van ride there to not call her mom tonight. She's like, whatever you do, don't call me mom tonight. Just say I'm your older sister, Kathleen. Just think of it as mom's on vacation. Cool. Didn't know you could do that. Now, I was more than happy to go along with this. I loved going along with my mom's schemes. It was like one of the rare things that we actually, like, bonded on. I felt like I was like a spy because I was like 7 years old, so I was really into it. So when she would steal something from a grocery store, I would, like, tip over a jar of tomato sauce, make a distraction. And I remembered all the information, like, all the fake names and stuff. I really got off on this stuff. So when she told us this idea on the van right there to just call her sister Kathleen, I was already in it. I was like, shouldn't we have made a left there, sis? Mom's gonna be pretty pissed the van's out this late, sis. And she's like, all right, tone it down. We get to the roller rink and everyone's very excited because we see the tour bus outside. And my mom goes in five minutes ahead of us. And, you know, no one knows that, you know, she's her mom. And then. And then we go in and my brothers and sisters, they all run ahead and I'm kind of doing like that slow walk, like this. Is it part of the grift? What a fun story of how I met my new dad. And I get to the roller rink and I see the band, and they're on the corner table, this very well lit table. It's like this pop up table with the radio station banner over it. And they're just sitting there, just miserable. The same demeanor of someone at a Third Eye Blind concert. How's it gonna be? Pretty mediocre. So just as I'm watching them and fantasizing, I feel a hand on my shoulder. And I turn around and it's the manager. And he's like, excuse me, where did you get those Rollerblades? I look down and I'm holding the rollerblades stolen from this ring. Oh, no. And it's that mixture of just like fear where you're just like, My heart stops and I go colorless in my face. And I'm like, how could you be so stupid? That's like stealing a car and then parking it in someone's driveway. And he takes me into his office, and he sits me down in the chair. This is the first time, like, I've been in real trouble before. I've seen my mom in trouble before, but it was never, like, personally connected to me. The manager sits me down in this chair, and there's this large mirror that looks out into the entire roller ring floor. And it's this really, like, isolated feeling where I can see my whole family out there, and they can't see me, and I can't do anything, and I can't warn them, and I just feel incredibly alone. And just then, I see my mom, you know, skate past the window. She's tearing it up already. And, you know, I'm not gonna give her up at this point. And I was like, well, he's like, I need to speak to your mom right now. And I was like, well, my older sister Kathleen's here. He's like, that's not gonna do. I need to speak to your mom right now. And then I remember she said the whole spiel, and I just say the first thing that comes to mind, like, she's on vacation. The manager takes this very literally. And he has me call her, and he gives me the phone that's on the wall, and he has me call her. And I'm, like, seven, terrified. And I've never really used a phone before. So I'm, like, on the phone and just, like, mashing the keypad with my fingers while making direct eye contact with the manager. I probably pushed 17 numbers. Like, she had been vacationing in Korea before I decided, like, oh, 17 numbers. The usual. That'll do. And I started having this, like, fake conversation with her. And halfway through this fake conversation, I remember a move that my mom used to do whenever she was in trouble at a grocery store. Whenever she got caught, she would get really hysterical crying. It's like, I'm too hysterical. I need to go talk to my husband. He's in the car. And then they would let her go out to, like, the car, and then she would just book it in the parking lot. She would run to the van and screech and then pull out. And I've seen this work a couple times. I was like, oh, I could do that. That's no problem. I could do that. So I tell the manager. I was like, you know what? Just getting off the phone with her. She's actually returned home early, and she's in the. She's in the van out there. I should go get her. He's like, okay. Go get her. I'm like, sweet.
- [13:31]
Tommy O'Malley
You idiot.
- [13:32]
Jenny Smith
You fucking idiot. You fucking bought it. So as soon as he opens the door for me, and as soon as I leave the mat from the roller rink, I just fucking book it. Like I've never run before. I run so quick, and I get to the van that we came in, and I remember that I don't have any keys, and I'm seven, no driving capabilities whatsoever. And I'm thinking quick, and I'm just like, moving my feet, and I'm thinking, seven. I just like to actually get under the van. So now I'm just laying under the van. The manager's, like, kind of scurrying around the parking lot looking for me. And he starts checking under cars. And with each car he's checking under, he's getting closer and closer to the van. And I know it's just a matter of time before he's coming. Now he's one car away, and I see his feet approaching. He's looking under the car. I put my hand over my heart because my heart is beating so fast. I feel like he can hear it too. It's all I can hear, is just reverberating in my ears. And then he gets even closer, and I just pretend like I'm asleep, just close my eyes. You know how relaxed sleep people look, just shutting their eyes. And then I just feel a hand on my chest. And he pulls me out by my shirt. And at this point, he's had. He drags me back into the office, and he sits me down in a chair in the room. And at this point, he's at full yell volume. He's like, that's it, young man. I've had it. All right? You've lied to me all day. You need to tell me where your mom is right now. I've already called the police, and they're on their way. And I'm absolutely terrified. I tried to do what my mom did, but I can't do it. I failed to take every step, and I have no choice but to give her up at this point. The one thing I didn't want to do, one thing I prided myself on, you know, not being able to break, I had to give her up. And I have to point her out on the roller rink floor. And it's not hard at this point because she is in the middle of the roller rink floor, and there are two Soul Train type lines around her, and she is in the middle of her skate off to how's it gonna be? And I went Around. I was like, that's my mom out there. It's Kathleen Storm. The manager looks at me like, no, mom dresses like that. I'm like, I know that's what she's going for. And then so the manager cuts off the music, and of course the band's like, what the fuck? And he gets over the intercom for the entire roller rink to here and says, kathleen Warnicke, you need to come to the manager's office. It's regarding your son. Cover blown. She doesn't respond at first. People are looking around like, who is this person? And then she finally see her just, like, trying to dance it off. Like, I guess I'll go. You just hear, like, mouthing that. And she finally, finally gets to me and, you know, explains to the manager, I am her son. And we get out of there, you know, she's kind of upset with me for giving her up. Like, what else are we gonna do at that point? And for a while, like, looking back in that story, I was always upset with my mom. Like, how could you. Like, how could you put your kids through something like that? That's awful. You know, for your own, like, selfish gain. But, like, now that I'm old enough to, like, have kids or have, like, at least some pregnancy scares and, like, you have to go through. It happens, man. You get that phone call, and, like, you definitely go through those thoughts. And I'm thinking back on it now, and it's like, if I had all that on my plate, if I was, like, a single parent, like, these five kids, you know, I look back on it the same way I did when I thought that, you know, like, oh, I could just run to the parking lot and run to the van and do just what she did. But, like, looking back, do I feel like I could have done a better job? And unfortunately, the answer is no, you know? And I wish I could tell you the story, like, ended with, like, she learned her lesson at that point. She toned it down a little bit. But the fact of the matter is, that very same night, I ended up watching Ernest Goes to Camp Dante's Pete and Tommy Boy. Back to back to back. Thank you, guys.
- [17:40]
Mint Mobile Representative
Mama.
- [17:46]
Moses Storm
Mama.
- [17:51]
Jenny Smith
Mama.
- [17:51]
Moses Storm
Mama. Mama.
- [18:05]
Mint Mobile Representative
Mother.
- [18:07]
Jenny Smith
Mama. Mama.
- [18:24]
Guadalupe Plata
Sex didn't exist in my household growing up. We never talked about it. We never acknowledged it. I wasn't allowed to watch movies with it in. Simply didn't exist. So it shouldn't have been a surprise when I ended up in a marriage where there was no sex. The other thing that didn't exist in my family was failure. For example, failing at being married. So when I left my husband after he refused to have sex with me for years, I was a little stressed out about telling my parents. But finally the time was nigh. I left my husband in August. It was the first weekend in December and I was gonna have to tell my parents why I was coming home for Christmas alone. I decided to call on a Saturday afternoon so that I would miss my father, who would probably be at his office, and get my stepmother. And I should say that she's my stepmother because my mom died. My parents didn't get divorced. And in fact, no one in my family has gotten divorced. I am the only one that I know of who's gone through this. I was nervous about calling my stepmother because it's safe to say we had a rather strained relationship. She was a very proper suburban Midwestern WASP housewife slash interior designer. And she was really excited when she married my dad when I was 15 because she would finally have the daughter she always wanted. And, you know, had this vision of like getting ready for dances together and talking about boys and doing her nails. And I was totally not that kind of 16 year old. I was smoking cigarettes and reading poetry and no one understood me and certainly not her. I mean, I don't think I'd ever called my parents house specifically to talk to Linda. So I was nervous about. But I knew for sure that I couldn't talk to my dad about it. So I called and she answers and said, well, your dad's at his office, maybe you want to try him there? And I said, actually, Linda, I want to talk to you. So the thing is, things aren't so great with me and Brett right now. Total silence. Things haven't been great for like a long time. Still total silence. And I moved out. I moved out like in August. Nothing. Like I said, things haven't been good with us for a long time. And finally she responded, well, you could have fooled me. She was really pissed. Like we pulled one over on her. And in fairness, we totally had because we totally put on the facade of a happy marriage, even though it had kind of been a disaster for a few years. But, you know, I think my parents sort of chalked up our occasional snipping to being like Jerry and Elaine or like Everybody Loves Raymond or something. So she asked, so who's going to pay your bills, Jenny? And I said, well, I'm paying my bills as I have done for my entire life, because Brett has never supported me. And what about health insurance? What are you gonna do about health insurance. And I said, linda, I haven't had health insurance in like three years. He never paid for that either. And she says, does he have someone else? And I said, no. And she goes, well, do you have someone else? And I said, no, Linda. And you know, I was lying about that because the fact is, of course I had someone else. My husband hadn't fucked me for eight years. Like, I totally had someone else. But I couldn't tell her that I was trying to do whatever I could to not acknowledge that sex part of it, because I'd never brought this up or anything like it to my parents before. But she wasn't getting it. She simply wasn't getting it. So finally I had to do it. And I said to her, linda, he wouldn't have sex with me. He wouldn't have sex with me for like, years. And Linda, the Kappa Alpha Theta at Ohio State University, the junior league member, the interior designer to some of Columbus, Ohio's finest households, A woman I had never heard swear before in my life said to me, jenny, you've got to be fucking kidding me. And that's how I became friends with my stepmother.
- [23:38]
Mint Mobile Representative
We'll be right back.
- [23:41]
Jenny Smith
The McDonald's snack wrap is back.
- [23:43]
Kevin Allison
You brought it back.
- [23:44]
Jenny Smith
Ranch snack wrap. Spicy snack wrap.
- [23:48]
Kevin Allison
You broke the Internet for a snack?
- [23:51]
Mint Mobile Representative
Snack wrap is back.
- [23:56]
Moses Storm
Right now at the Home Depot, you'll.
- [23:58]
Kevin Allison
Find storage solutions made to fit your needs. Grab an HDX Tuff tote to protect your tools or keep your sports equipment contained with reinforced snap fit lids. Or stack up and make better use of your space with bins and totes built to last. Whatever your story, we've got the gear to keep it organized and protected at the Home Depot. How doers get more done.
- [24:27]
Moses Storm
This episode is brought to you by Pluto tv. Summer of cinema is here and Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Beverly Hills Cop, Mission Impossible, Ghost Protocol, Good Burger, Stealth, Four Brothers and Star Trek. Bring the action with you and stream for free on all your favorite devices. Pluto tv. Stream now. Pay never. Stream now at Pluto tv.
- [24:56]
Mint Mobile Representative
We're back.
- [25:10]
Tommy O'Malley
Well, the fog has lifted and the sun is slowly creeping in. And I am sure that the worst is over. I think our lives can be good of again. That's when we'll know that we control by the winter season it's rain is upon as the sun comes over she destroys this winter the future looks brighter than it ever did before.
- [26:13]
Kevin Allison
This is risk. This is a song called Chasing Airplanes by Humble Wolf Song suggested to me by Risk music intern Sarah Irvin. And the story we just heard was from Jenny Smith. We call that one Getting Friendly. Before that, a little mother themed thingumy Bibble by Our episode editor, Mr. Jeff Barr. Well, you know how much we love to have a conversation with you guys on Twitter and Facebook. We're at Risk show. We asked on Facebook this week if you guys had any stories about your mothers. One of them that I especially liked came from Dark Jake Al Duke. I don't know if that's his real name, but he says while stopped at a traffic light, my mom and I were gossiping about my elementary phys Ed teacher. We were both pretty sure he was gay, but without sufficient evidence we couldn't come to a conclusion and the conversation turned to silence. Then, even though the light was still red, the car started to move forward. Just as it was about to hit the car in front of us, I yelled, mom break. And we jolted to a stop. My mom said, sorry, I was thinking about gay sex. So thank you for that little anecdote, Mr. Al Dukey. And that is one of the major reasons I myself don't drive, because I so often veer off into thinking about gay sex. One last story today and it comes from the brilliant writer Mr. Tommy O', Malley, who you can find at the blog yearabovetheinfluence.com Here he is at the Risk Live show in New York City with a story we call Coming Home.
- [28:16]
Mint Mobile Representative
So I am from Boston and as you all know, my city had a pretty garbage week and I, like a lot of my fellow Bostonians, took it pretty personally because it was personal. Because when I think about Boston, I think about my people and I think about my family. Especially I think about my mom because she is the most Boston person that I know. Her name is Mickey. You call her voicemail and it says, you have reached the sprint PCs mailbox of Mickey O'. Malley. And she comes from this huge Irish family in South Boston. She's the baby of 10 kids and when I spoke to her last Friday when Boston was on lockdown, I said, mar, are you nervous about this guy running around the city? And she said, are you shitting me? I want him to come here. I dare him to come to my house. And my mom, like Boston itself, is this tough shit. And she was a born fighter. And when she was younger, from what I hear, she was quite the brawler. And one example, this oft told story about her is she was walking to Mass with my Grandmother one day. And in this little neighborhood shithead in south, he yelled after them, there goes Mickey Kelly with her big fat mother. And my mother walked over to the kid, punched him in the nose, and then walked into church like nothing had happened. And as she got older, she became a different type of fighter altogether. In 1987, when I was five years old, my sister Allison, my baby sister, died suddenly. And after that, I don't really remember her dying, but I remember my mother just constantly being around us and trying to make sure that we were all okay. And at the same time, right after my sister died, my dad, who was a pretty severe alcoholic, stopped drinking. And ironically, when he stopped drinking, that's when his health really started to decline, both physically and mentally. He was a very serious diabetic. And the worse his diabetes got, the more acute his depression got. And in my family, we sort of lived by the motto, like, go for the jugular or go home. And I remember one time my mother saying to my dad, you have your depression to keep you company. What does that leave for the rest of us? And my mom, who had been a stay at home mom for as long as she'd had kids when I was about 10 years old, had to go back to work and become the primary income earner for my house because my dad got too sick and had to go on disability. He was an insulin dependent diabetic. He took two shots a day to regulate his blood sugar and sometimes his blood sugar, he'd have low blood sugar reactions to the insulin and his blood sugar would drop as low as like 7. And to put that into perspective for you, my dad was the type of diabetic that we wanted to keep him about 100 to 140 blood sugar wise. And when he'd get to seven, that was very close to zero. And when you get to zero, there's no fucking coming back. You are dead. So one example of what it was like to live with my dad during this time was we were all sitting around watching TV and my dad went up to bed, and 20 minutes later we heard, boom. 170 pounds hit the floor above us. And at this point, I was probably, I don't know, 10 or 11. We all just knew what had happened. It was like, not our first time at the rodeo. And we all just got into triage mode and my mom just adopted this like, pathologically calm tone. And it would be like, joey, get upstairs and get your father off the floor. Tommy, go get his blood meter. Sean, get a glass, fill it with Sugar, and then top that with orange juice. And Maureen, get the glucose gone shot, and we'll reconvene in the bedroom. As these episodes started occurring with increasing frequency, it became clear to all of us that my dad's body just couldn't sustain this much longer. And sure enough, When I was 17, in 2000, my dad got diagnosed with cancer. And it was four very short months between the time he got his diagnosis and the time he died. The chemo that he was on took away whatever shred of ability he had to control his bodily functions. And I remember waking up one morning for school, and immediately I could smell human feces. And in the next room, I could hear my mom whispering to my dad, it's not your fault. You can't control this. This is just a part of getting better. It's just a part of getting better. Joe. Unfortunately, my dad never did get better. And after he died, we all basically had to relearn how to live. Suddenly, we could drink the orange juice that was in the fridge, and we could eat the jelly beans that were in the cabinet. We had spent my whole life anyway fighting to keep this man alive. And once he was gone, the only thing left for us to fight was one another. My senior year of high school, my mother said to me, I want to know where you're applying to college. So I wrote out a list, and I handed it to her, and she looked at it and said, there is not one fucking school in Massachusetts on here. She crumbled it up, threw it on the floor, and didn't speak to me for three months. Literally. We hold a grand. And nevertheless, the following year, I packed my bags and did go to college in Texas. And it was this amazing experience because, like, for the first time, I was able to just think about myself, and I was able to make my own decisions. And I discovered that I was gay. And it was fucking awesome. But it was also frightening because I didn't want to have to tell my super Catholic mother that. But I found a way to tell her at the end of my sophomore year of college, naturally, when we were in the middle of a huge fight. And I screamed at her, I'm gay, and you have to deal with it, Ma. And I don't really remember the conversation, but for her saying, it's going to be a very, very hard life for you. And she did her best to make sure that it was a hard life for me, because for six years after that, she and I did not speak or really see each other. And during that time, when I was 21 to 27. I sort of checked out of my own life, and I started smoking pot, like, all day, every day. And I was just drinking anything that you would put in front of me and snorting anything that you would put in front of me. And I just let my debts pile up around me to the point where my credit was in the three hundreds. And I got, like, you know, a bunch of tattoos and I got my ears pierced because who was gonna stop me? And then, like, it was interesting because I was never a violent kid, but I suddenly started finding myself getting into, like, lots of fist fights. And they mostly happened when I was out and drinking. And I would hear somebody call someone a faggot. Whether the person was me or one of my friends or just a stranger, I would get into a fight about it, like, set off that O' Malley trigger inside of me. And at 24, I decided to move back from Austin to Boston in large part to help repair my relationship with my family. And that first couple of years back in Boston was filled with lots of failed attempts at reconnecting. I would go to family parties they were at. As soon as I would enter, my mom and my siblings would leave, leave, and I would call my mom and leave emails from my mom, and she just wouldn't return to them. So it became pretty clear to me pretty quickly that my mom didn't have any interest in being a part of my life. So I just gave up on it for a little while anyway. Then when I was 27, I was living in an apartment in South Boston, around the corner from the house my mother grew up in, interestingly enough, that my aunt owned and was letting me stay in. And I was living on the third floor. And I remember one night I was standing on the back porch looking down about 40ft to the patio out back. And I don't know, I probably smoked a bunch of pot and drank a bunch of whiskey that day, and I was just feeling pretty down. I was chained, smoking cigarettes, and I kept flicking them and just watching them fall and. And cascade sort of past the two porches below mine. And every time one would hit the ground, the lit end would sort of explode like a firework against the pavement. And it all looked like very peaceful and easy. And I found myself envying these cigarettes that were falling to the ground. And I realized that, I mean, I didn't want to kill myself, but if this was living, I knew I didn't want to be alive. And I knew from there it was a very slippery slope to Actually wanting to jump. So I did the only thing I could think of when I was feeling completely out of control. And I called my mom, and I blocked the number so that she wouldn't be able to screen my call. And she picked up, and I told her who it was. And she said, oh, hi, Tom. Good to hear from you, darling. And it was like, first of all, she'd never called me Tom before. And second of all, it was this completely bullshit tone in her voice that I had known because she used to use it whenever one of my aunts called that she didn't want to talk to. And I just. She was being fake, and I was ready for a real fucking fight with her. And I went at her, I was like, do you care? Do you actually care how I'm doing? If you cared, mom, you would answer one of my phone calls or one of my emails. You would not leave parties with when I walked into them. So if you cared about me, why wouldn't you do those things? She got really silent and she said, what's the matter with you? What's going on? And her voice shifted, and it was the same voice that she used to use with my dad when he was really sick. And I said, I can't do this anymore, Mom. I can't fight with you. I feel incomplete without you. And if I'm not going to have you in my life, I don't want to live it anymore. If you are still my mother, you will come over here right now and we will fix this. She said, I can't come over there right now. I have to go to a meeting for work. But as soon as it's over, I will come over there, Tommy. I promise. Give me one hour. I will be there in one hour. Can you wait one hour? And I said, yeah, I can wait. And I waited one hour and then two hours and then three hours. And my mother has never been on time for anything in her entire life, including my father's funeral. And after she showed up three and a half hours later, I wasn't angry. I wasn't upset. I was just so happy to see my mom. We went into my living room and sat on the couch. We started talking, and we argued a little bit and sort of swapped blame and shared our resentments. And after a minute, we kind of looked at each other and smiled and realized, we don't need to be fighting against each other. We can be fighting for each other. And that night, we started a conversation that we have continued to this day. And as she left, she gave me the best hug that I had ever gotten in my life because I worked so hard to get that hug from her. And she took my face and she put it between her hands and said, I have to ask you something serious. What the fuck were you thinking getting your ears pierced.
- [40:28]
Tommy O'Malley
Like grass? Together we soaked up the same sunny rays, Had a few big storms to weather. We were alike in so many ways. I wish I could hear you singing? Your voice has such a lovely sound? And when you come running my cold heart begins to pound? I feel that magic coming around? It hits me so strong? I feel that magic coming around.
- [41:12]
Kevin Allison
That's all for this episode, folks. This is two hours traffic behind me now. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter the Kevin Allison follow Risk itself on Facebook and Twitter riskshow and you can find everything else you need to know at risk-show.com folks, today's the day. Take a risk.
- [41:41]
Tommy O'Malley
Now I feel that magic coming round and now I feel that magic coming round Sa.
- [42:21]
Jenny Smith
Mother.
- [42:22]
Tommy O'Malley
Oh God. Mother.
- [42:24]
Mint Mobile Representative
A boy's best friend is his mother.
- [42:31]
Child Voice
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for Back to School. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate and clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim. If you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more mom and dad, the school supplies you buy me this year will mostly end up in my mouth. Maybe shop low prices for school at Amazon so I don't eat up all your money, just something to chew on. Amazon spend less, smile more.