RISK! Reacts – "My Secret Career"

Podcast: RISK!
Host: Kevin Allison
Episode: My Secret Career: RISK! Reacts
Date: August 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Kevin Allison listens and reacts in real time to "My Secret Career"—a hilarious and outrageous coming-of-age story originally shared by CJ (Christopher James Guy) on The Secret Room podcast. The episode revolves around the themes of family expectations, personal missteps, fake-it-til-you-make-it bravado, and the eventual necessity (and liberation) of coming clean. Kevin, known for championing raw candor and oddball resilience, finds a kindred spirit in CJ’s journey of spectacularly lying his way out of law school, into flight attendant training, and ultimately, real life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction & Context (00:00-03:47)

• Listener Recommendation: Kevin introduces the episode, explaining that a fan, Kira Mirren, suggested this story for its humor, charisma, and wildness.
• Kevin sets up the format: watching/listening with instant reactions, relating the premise to the ethos of RISK!

CJ’s Story: Law School Dreams and Instant Quitting (03:54-08:21)

• PhD Family Pressure:

  • CJ comes from a super high-achieving family: “There are five people in my family, four of the five... have PhDs. And you... get the privilege of hearing the one person that did not get a PhD in that family today.” (05:43)

• Law School Reluctance:

  • CJ does well on his LSAT, gets a full ride to a top-tier law school, but only goes through the motions ("just focused on looking cute," 07:06).
  • On the first day, the dean ominously says to look left/right, that 2 in 3 students won’t make it. CJ instantly decides this isn’t for him:
    • “Dudes, you guys are in luck. I’m out right now.” (08:06)
    • “...I got up and I walked out. And literally, the dean was like, oh, we have our first quitter. And I was like, birdie, birdie. Like, I'm out.” (08:07)
    • [Double middle finger exit, laughs]

The Lie Begins: Hiding from Family (08:22-10:56)

• Fabricating Law School Updates:
  • CJ skips telling his parents the truth and instead invents stories about law school: “My mom or my dad would ask how school was, and I'd be like, oh, that torts class. It's really tough, but I’m making it. And I'd be calling them from, like, Minneapolis, where I was, like, in flight attendant training. Like, it was just a big, deep, dark lie.” (09:20)
• Flight Attendant Pivot:
  • Spurred by his roommate’s ambitions, CJ applies to be a flight attendant, gets the job after charming his way through group interviews, and starts training—still lying to his family about being in law school.

Fake Bilingualism for the Sake of Location (11:09-15:43)

• Assignment Shenanigans:
  • Flight crews are assigned to cities based on language abilities; CJ’s only goal is to avoid Cleveland/Nashville.
  • He claims fluency in German, knowing only what he picked up from "Hogan’s Heroes," and faces a real-language test:
    • "I was like, I don’t speak German, and I cannot live in Cincinnati." (13:31)
  • Negotiates with the tester to simply read the landing card passably, relying on mimicry.
  • She passes him—he moves to New York for international flights.

Secret Career Unravels: The Heathrow Coincidence (16:37-20:22)

• The ‘Identical Twin’ Gambit:

  • While working a flight in London, CJ’s sister spots him in uniform. Panicking, he pretends to be his imaginary French twin:
    • “Madame! ...the only word I knew, which means ‘so.’ ...I was lying, but I didn’t say I was right. ...She’s like, I can see your name badge because I was wearing my name badge and I was like, f.” (17:40-18:40)
  • His sister gives him an ultimatum: come clean to their parents by Friday, or she will.

• Facing the Parents:

  • CJ goes home in person, confesses the entire saga over dinner.
  • His father is particularly devastated:
    • "He just was like, I am so disappointed you did this, and I’m even more disappointed that you lied." (20:43)
  • CJ: "That was heartbreaking." (20:38)

Aftermath & Reflections (21:14-22:49)

• Prompt Job Loss and Career Pivot:
  • CJ is fired from his flight attendant gig soon after, due to a cascade of negative letters and lack of “a servant's heart.”
    • “They were just streaming in. So I was terminated.” (21:27)
  • Quickly pivots, talks his way into a junior ad copywriting role—where he finally finds his passion and has remained since.
• Family Fallout & Lessons Learned:
  • Family doesn’t (yet) laugh about it:
    • "It's been 30 years and it’s too soon. ...It's definitely an off limits conversation." (22:04)
  • His kids know and tease him about it.
  • On sharing the story:
    • "I think so many people start down a path and don't think they can ever recover from it. And you can recover from it. Coming clean, like, provided me a clean slate..." (22:51)
  • CJ urges anyone with a burdenous secret—especially one harming relationships—to consider coming clean.

Kevin Allison’s Reactions & Takeaways (23:25–End)

• Relatability & Spirit:
  • Kevin is charmed: "He is such a likable fella and I think we can all kind of relate to coming up with at least some lies that we tell, at least our parents." (23:25)
• Fake It Till You Make It as a Life Strategy:
  • Kevin connects CJ’s bold "fake it till you make it" attitude to his own anxieties about big life changes (like moving to Bangkok), calling it “inspiring in that way” (26:31).
  • On CJ’s law school exit:
    • "I just love the insanity. Not just getting, like, him, just, like, ending the paper chase right there. Getting up and flipping everyone. The fucking bird was just so spontaneous." (26:31)
• On Marching to Your Own Drum:
  • "I think everyone who knows me knows that I love and cherish the idea of marching to the beat of your own drummer. ...You just have to constantly be battling with the fact that you're gonna get major pushback..." (28:51)
• On Compulsive Lying and Family Dynamics:
  • Kevin empathizes, compares CJ’s “Huckleberry Finn” escalation of lies to his own white lies around family expectations:
    • "Sometimes you just, like, you. It's the Huckleberry Finn thing. You start one lie and then you're like, oh, boy. Yeah, I gotta keep this going. And in my case, it's for decades." (26:31)
• Final Thoughts:
  • Praises CJ’s candidness and humor, wishes the family could laugh about it now, commends the Secret Room podcast, and encourages listeners to share more stories.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• CJ’s Law School Walkout:
  • “Dudes, you guys are in luck. I’m out right now.” (08:06)
  • “I got up and I walked out. And literally, the dean was like, oh, we have our first quitter. And I was like, birdie, birdie. Like, I'm out.” (08:07)
• On Lying to Family:
  • "I'd be calling them from, like, Minneapolis, where I was, like, in flight attendant training. Like, it was just a big, deep, dark lie." (09:20)
• German Test Negotiation:
  • "I was like, I don’t speak German, and I cannot live in Cincinnati." (13:31)
  • "Like, look at me. Like, I can't live in Cincinnati. Like, I can't fly domestic." (14:41)
• Discovering by Sister at Heathrow:
  • “In sheer panic, slight diarrhea, and went right into French, which I also don’t speak.” (17:40)
  • “You think that you’re CJ from Paris and you’re not. ...I can see your name badge.” (18:04)
• Coming Clean:
  • "He just was like, I am so disappointed you did this, and I’m even more disappointed that you lied." (20:43)
• On Life Lessons:
  • "Coming clean, like, provided me a clean slate to move forward. ...if anybody has a secret today and it's just eating at them... you need to determine what relationships are being affected and then just come clean." (22:51)
• Kevin’s Take:
  • "Sometimes being really honest is just so winning with people." (28:49)
  • "It is a real reminder to me, like I said before, not to shut down, especially not to shut down in advance, about obstacles arising." (26:31)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:54 – CJ begins his story
• 08:07 – CJ’s dramatic, defiant law school walkout
• 09:20 – Lying to parents while training as a flight attendant
• 13:31 – Confrontation in the German test
• 16:37 – The Heathrow sister encounter
• 20:22 – The emotional parental reckoning
• 22:51 – Reflections on coming clean and life lessons
• 23:25 – Kevin Allison’s personal reflections and episode wrap-up

Tone and Style

• CJ’s storytelling is irreverent, self-deprecating, and animated, peppered with quick-witted banter and comic exaggeration.
• Ben Ham, host of The Secret Room, is empathetic and gently incredulous, channeling the audience’s amazement.
• Kevin Allison reacts with characteristic warmth, humor, and self-awareness, relating CJ’s misadventures to larger themes of honesty, existential improvisation, and resilience.

Summary

This episode is a perfect blend of cringe, comedy, and catharsis—CJ Guy’s story is a master class in “winging it” (pun intended) and the human urge to please, fib, and eventually face the truth. Kevin’s reactions underscore the universality of such youthful errors and the comforting truth that many mistakes—even big, embarrassing ones—are ultimately survivable and even foundational. It’s a celebration of honesty hard-won, and a reminder that sometimes, life really does reward those who can improvise, charm, and (eventually) fess up.