Podcast Summary: RISK! Episode - The Best of Asian American Stories #6
Release Date: May 1, 2025 | Host: Kevin Allison | Featured Guests: Justine Ang Fonte and Srinath Rajendran
Introduction
In the sixth installment of the "Best of Asian American Lives" series, RISK! host Kevin Allison, alongside co-host Filipina American rapper and producer Ruby Abara, delves into two poignant and harrowing true stories that highlight the complexities of Asian American experiences. Joined by special guest co-host Susan Liu, the episode celebrates Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month by bringing to light narratives of resilience, abuse, and the fight for personal autonomy.
Story 1: "But Nothing Happened" by Justine Ang Fonte
Timestamp Reference: [05:19] – [47:53]
Justine Ang Fonte shares her deeply personal story, aptly titled "But Nothing Happened," chronicling her childhood and adolescence marked by abusive relationships with her tennis coaches, Aaron and Beau. As the daughter of Philippine immigrants, Justine navigates the dual pressures of excelling in sports and adhering to stringent cultural and religious expectations.
Key Points:
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Cultural and Religious Conditioning: Justine reflects on her upbringing in a Catholic Filipino household where bodily autonomy was suppressed. She recounts her experiences of being compelled to endure pain in gymnastics and tennis, equating physical discomfort with moral virtue and sacrifice for salvation.
"[...] Being a good gymnast was like being a good Catholic. Pain and discomfort was really just sacrifice for salvation." – Justine Ang Fonte [05:19]
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Abusive Coaching Dynamics: Transitioning from gymnastics to tennis, Justine describes her intense training under Coach Aaron, who initially offers her discounted rates due to her potential and coachability. However, Aaron's behavior becomes increasingly inappropriate, characterized by unsolicited late-night calls, emotional manipulation, and unwarranted gifts.
"He really cared about Form. In the strokes, he hit the ball hard, but he wasn't so much of a grandmaster." – Justine Ang Fonte [09:00]
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Emotional Manipulation and Grooming: Despite recognizing the red flags, Justine feels trapped by financial dependencies and her aspirations. Aaron's inconsistent treatment—favoring her with extra attention while neglecting others—fosters a toxic environment that blurs professional boundaries.
"I couldn't take it anymore. So I decided, I'm going to leave the academy for private lessons and find somebody for privates outside of here." – Justine Ang Fonte [13:36]
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Impact on Personal Life: The abusive relationships extend beyond the courts, affecting Justine's home life and mental health. Her interactions with Aaron become a source of ongoing trauma, despite "nothing sexual" occurring.
"But just nothing happened, right? Nothing happened." – Justine Ang Fonte [47:53]
Susan Liu's Insights:
Susan Liu provides a compassionate analysis of Justine's story, emphasizing the compounded pressures of being a child of immigrants and the insidious nature of grooming by authority figures.
"Justine's parents are Filipino immigrants. They came over from America, and it's all about. As being a child, you're standing on their sacrifice." – Susan Liu [51:56]
Liu underscores the complex interplay of cultural expectations, financial pressures, and the manifestation of abuse within these dynamics. She highlights Justine's journey toward self-empowerment and the importance of recognizing and addressing subtle forms of abuse.
"Just because nothing sexual happened, you cannot dismiss his behavior. Now, it's not your fault. But it is. The adult's." – Susan Liu [37:21]
Story 2: "Bound and Unbound" by Srinath Rajendran
Timestamp Reference: [57:04] – [134:48]
Srinath Rajendran narrates a harrowing tale of familial abuse and a daring escape to save his younger siblings from their oppressive father. Growing up in a patriarchal Indian household in Tampa, Florida, Srinath endured relentless physical and emotional abuse, which compounded the trauma faced by his siblings.
Key Points:
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Early Abuse and Control: Srinath details his father's abusive behavior, including physical punishments and psychological manipulation aimed at enforcing academic excellence and obedience.
"He said, sri, I am angry with you because of the color of your shirt. You know, I'd just be wearing a yellow shirt." – Srinath Rajendran [07:00]
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Rescue Mission: Upon reaching adulthood, Srinath fulfills a promise to his 17-year-old siblings by orchestrating a risky escape from their father's clutches during the COVID-19 pandemic. The narrative captures the intense planning, fear, and emotional turmoil involved in the operation.
"Srinath pulled me from the office room and my mom from the kitchen, and we sat down together at the dining room table. And I remember telling my dad, look, this is a terrible idea." – Srinath Rajendran [61:35]
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Confronting Cultural Barriers: Navigating the complexities of escaping from India, Srinath faces logistical challenges, language barriers, and the ever-present threat of his father's influence. His determination to protect his siblings highlights themes of sacrifice and resilience.
"The twins look absolutely exhausted and panicked, and they were completely covered in sweat." – Srinath Rajendran [94:10]
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Aftermath and Healing: Post-escape, Srinath grapples with the psychological scars of his upbringing while striving to build a supportive environment for his siblings. The story concludes with a hopeful note as his siblings thrive in college, free from their father's control.
"It was definitely movie material. Amazing. He is working on a memoir, so we are so looking forward to that." – Susan Liu [130:31]
Susan Liu's Insights:
Susan Liu offers a profound reflection on Srinath's ordeal, highlighting the emotional and psychological burdens carried by survivors of familial abuse. She emphasizes the courageous steps Srinath took to break free from the cycle of violence and the importance of building chosen families for healing.
"He is working on a memoir, so we are so looking forward to that. Absolutely. That something that so many people take for granted." – Susan Liu [125:07]
Liu commends Srinath's unwavering commitment to his siblings and his journey toward self-healing, underscoring the transformative power of resilience and support.
"Underneath all this rage is a child that's locked away in a cage that's hurting. He wants to be seen, to be heard, to be wanted and accepted." – Susan Liu [126:53]
Conclusion
This episode of RISK! powerfully illuminates the often unseen struggles within Asian American families, particularly those of immigrant backgrounds grappling with cultural pressures and abusive dynamics. Through the compelling narratives of Justine Ang Fonte and Srinath Rajendran, listeners are invited to reflect on themes of resilience, the complex interplay of cultural expectations, and the imperative of personal autonomy.
Notable Quotes:
- "Pain is weakness leaving the body." – Justine Ang Fonte [08:45]
- "Nothing happened. Nothing happened." – Justine Ang Fonte [47:53]
- "I have all these terrible feelings, there's also all these other good feelings, like hope that push me back from the brink." – Justine Ang Fonte [123:56]
- "Underneath all this rage is a child that's locked away in a cage that's hurting." – Susan Liu [126:53]
Further Resources
- Justine Ang Fonte: Author of How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex and The Manicurist Daughter. Website: justinefonte.com | Instagram: @imjustineaf
- Susan Liu: Solo show host of 140 Pounds and memoir author. Website: susanlu.me | Substack: Live Like Your Mortal
For more stories and episodes, visit risk-show.com and explore the "Best of Asian American Lives" series alongside other immigrant narratives.
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This summary provides a comprehensive overview of the key narratives and discussions from RISK!'s "The Best of Asian American Stories #6" episode, capturing the essence of the storytellers' experiences and the insightful commentary from Susan Liu.
