Podcast Summary: RISK! Episode - "The Big Secret"

Podcast Information:

• Title: RISK!
• Host/Author: RISK!
• Description: If you like The Moth, This American Life, or Snap Judgment, take a walk on the wilder side with RISK! Your colorful host Kevin Allison (of the legendary comedy group The State) helms this surprisingly uncensored show where people tell jaw-dropping true stories they never thought they'd dare to share in public. RISK! is hilarious, heart-wrenching, and remarkably real. Think you've heard it all? Fasten your seatbelt.
• Episode: The Big Secret
• Release Date: July 29, 2025

1. Introduction

The episode titled "The Big Secret" features Brad Lawrence sharing a deeply personal and harrowing true story. Hosted by Kevin Allison, the episode promises an uncensored and emotionally charged narrative that delves into themes of faith, betrayal, and the burdens of hidden truths.

Notable Quote:

• Brad Lawrence [04:03]: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life."

2. Brad's Youth Group Experience

Brad begins by recounting his experiences in an Evangelical Pentecostal Youth group during his adolescence in 1986. He describes the intense sermons led by Pastor Augustus King, particularly focusing on the evils of premarital sex. These meetings were not ordinary gatherings; they were grand events held in a gymnasium under a single spotlight, emphasizing the gravity of the teachings.

Notable Quote:

• Brad Lawrence [04:09]: "Electric word, life. It means forever. And that's a mighty long time."

Brad shares his internal struggle with the stark contrast between the church's teachings and his own experiences, highlighting the pressure to conform to rigid moral standards.

3. The Friendship with Jessica

Amidst the rigid structure of the youth group, Brad forms a unique friendship with Jessica, a fellow member who stands in stark contrast to others. Jessica is portrayed as a compassionate and charismatic individual, drawing people toward her despite her own struggles.

Brad details how their friendship provided him with a sense of safety and understanding that he couldn't find elsewhere. Jessica confided in him her "big secret," which he vowed never to share, fostering a deep bond between them.

Notable Quote:

• Brad Lawrence [12:34]: "This is what they are, not my first tragic death we talked about. My father died when I was three months old."

4. The Arrival of Jeff and Its Impact

Brad's life takes a dark turn with the arrival of his older stepbrother, Jeff, who becomes a disruptive presence in their household. Jeff's struggle with methamphetamine addiction and his inappropriate behavior create a hostile environment for Brad.

Brad describes how Jeff's actions, including his constant inappropriate inquiries and the cluttering of Brad's personal space, escalate the tension at home. This period marks a significant decline in Brad's mental and emotional well-being.

Notable Quote:

• Brad Lawrence [24:15]: "I despise Jeff. I loathe Jeff. The thing I want most in this world is Jeff out of that lazy boy and out of my house and out of my life forever."

5. The Tragedy and Aftermath

The situation reaches a tragic climax when Jeff, overwhelmed by his circumstances, commits suicide in a dramatic and violent manner. Brad narrates the immediate aftermath, including the funeral and the lingering impact on his mental state.

The community's response, intertwined with the youth group's ongoing debates about secular influences, further alienates Brad, leading to his eventual estrangement from the group and church.

Notable Quote:

• Brad Lawrence [38:50]: "These little sins were what bound these kids to one another. And now I was on the outside of that bond."

6. The Revelation of Jessica's Secret

Decades later, Brad uncovers the truth behind Jessica's secret, which he had long kept to himself. He reveals that Jessica had been coerced into a relationship by an adult, leading to an unwanted pregnancy and a subsequent abortion. This revelation reshapes his understanding of her struggles and the community's role in her tragedy.

Brad connects Jessica's experience with his own loss of faith, emphasizing the destructive power of secrets and shame within rigid belief systems.

Notable Quote:

• Brad Lawrence [56:10]: "Steve was not a righteous man. He was a monster. And Jessica was not a murderer, and she was not a horrible, terrible sinner."

7. Conclusion and Insights

Brad concludes his story by reflecting on the importance of unveiling hidden truths and the need for compassion over rigid judgment. He expresses hope that by sharing Jessica's true story, he can contribute to a world where no one has to live with such burdens alone.

Notable Quote:

• Brad Lawrence [62:36]: "Jessica was a person of humor and compassion, and she was someone who was a friend to me when I needed that more than anything else."

Cindy Freeman, Brad's wife, adds her perspective, emphasizing the relevance of their story in contemporary discussions about women's reproductive rights and the complexities of human experiences beyond black-and-white moral judgments.

Notable Quote:

• Cindy Freeman [65:22]: "Human beings are rarely simple and real people are rarely black and white."

8. Final Thoughts

"The Big Secret" is a powerful episode that intertwines personal trauma with broader societal issues, challenging listeners to reconsider the impact of rigid belief systems and the importance of empathy and understanding. Brad Lawrence's raw and honest storytelling serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities of human relationships and the long-lasting effects of hidden truths.

Additional Resources:

• Brad Lawrence is currently shopping a book-length version of "The Big Secret" to agents and publishers.
• Brad performs "The Big Secret" at the Minneapolis Fringe Festival from August 2nd through 10th. Tickets and dates are available on MinnesotaToFringe.org.
• Brad runs a blog and newsletter called Go With Brad Lawrence.

Patron Highlight:

• Coco Park: "Risk has provided me with years of guilty enjoyment. Not guilty as in guilty pleasure. Guilty as in I wasn't in the position to support financially. Now that I can, I've signed up to Patreon and will now have years of guilt-free feel-good listening. Thanks for all the entertainment over the years. Here's to many more."

Conclusion: "The Big Secret" is a compelling narrative that not only recounts personal pain and loss but also invites listeners to reflect on the broader implications of secrecy, faith, and the human condition. Through Brad Lawrence's storytelling, RISK! delivers an episode that is both heart-wrenching and thought-provoking, embodying the essence of the podcast's commitment to sharing uncensored and impactful true stories.