RISK! Podcast – The Fingers Episode

Date: September 2, 2025
Host: Kevin Allison
Storytellers: Bill Worley, Dominic Dierkes, Brad Lawrence

Episode Overview

The Fingers Episode of RISK! dives into stories about digits—busted, bitten, broken, and missing. Host Kevin Allison and co-hosts weave together live stories, musical riffs, and banter, creating an atmosphere both comic and vulnerable. Listeners hear tales involving accidental amputations, martial arts mishaps, and bar fight blunders, underscored by the classic RISK! themes of wild true stories and unapologetic honesty.

Key Discussion Points and Story Summaries

1. Setting the Tone: Playful, Musical, and Uncensored

• The hosts introduce the episode with playful banter and original songs about fingers (03:21–04:51).
• Announcement: Listeners are encouraged to vote for their favorite recent stories to appear on the next "Best of RISK!" episode. ([04:51])

2. Story 1: Just the Tip by Bill Worley (Live at Aisle 5, Atlanta)

Timestamps: 05:45–10:42

Summary

• Bill begins with a crowd-pleasing anecdote, using his missing fingertip as an icebreaker and humorous gesture—“I can say ‘fuck you’ with this finger. I can say ‘I’m kind of mad, slightly upset.’” (06:21)
• He tells a wild, possibly fabricated story about losing his finger—fighting off a knife-wielding drunk at a bar, resulting in Bill losing his fingertip and the attacker losing an eye. (06:36–07:12)
• Bill reveals that the real story is more mundane and tragic: At two and a half, a tube TV fell and sheared off his fingertip. Despite his mother’s frantic efforts—“She put the tip of my finger in a jar of ice…drove 45 minutes to see my dad, a chaplain, instead of the closer hospital” ([08:12])—it was too late to reattach.
• Reflects on how his missing finger became an accepted, even celebrated part of his identity. He urges others to embrace “what makes you different” and spin your own stories about the things that make you unique. (09:53–10:41)

Notable Quotes

• “It’s a part of me that I really love. It’s a way for me to kind of perform and break the ice.” – Bill Worley (06:15)
• “If you have something cool that happened, just make up a story.” – Bill Worley (09:59)

3. Story 2: Pillow Fighter by Dominic Dierkes

Timestamps: 14:15–26:17

Summary

• Dominic describes his attempt to handle post-college anxiety by taking up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu—without health insurance, a detail he mockingly laments. (14:22)
• He recounts the grisly injury that followed: “I broke my left ring finger so that it was at a 45 degree angle to the rest of my finger…my immediate thing was, ‘why can’t I make a fist?’” (14:34)
• After explaining this to the unsympathetic gym crowd (“That happened to me.” “Well it doesn’t happen to me!”), he reveals a similar embarrassing injury from a college pillow fight—“it was a manly pillow fight”—but so embarrassed, he lies to the doctor, inventing a basketball accident to explain the spiral fracture. (15:46–16:36)
• Following the Jiu Jitsu accident, he details the hospital ordeal: Scared of the cost, Dominic tries to avoid treatment, only to realize he “had no leverage in any negotiation” with medical staff. (20:26)
• Surgery ensues. He faints during anesthetic injections, then wakes with a bizarre complication: He bit down hard on his tongue coming out of anesthesia, and staff are clearly nervous about the incident, with the anesthesiologist later calling him on his cell phone to check, “Hey, you talk to any lawyers?” (24:06)
• Ends reflecting on the emotional and financial toll, but with classic RISK! comedic spin.

Notable Quotes

• “I went, ‘I need to go to the hospital.’ And I think that’s all I said for like 30 minutes.” – Dominic Dierkes (14:50)
• “[Laughs] Your hospital’s a racket. I don’t know what to tell you.” – Dominic Dierkes, on surgery costs (22:32)
• “It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. That I also see every day.” – The anesthesiologist, on the tongue-biting incident (24:40)

4. Story 3: A Perfect Night by Brad Lawrence

Timestamps: 29:33–39:36

Summary

• Brad sets the scene at the Lakeside Bar with friend Ben and girlfriend Julie during a magical New York blizzard, “giant, beautiful snowflakes...turn the city into pure silver magic.” (30:04)
• He reflects on the unique social ritual of bar life, the envy of dating the “hot bartender,” and the mix of camaraderie and rivalry among regulars. (31:30)
• Brad and Ben’s conversation about bar fights takes an unexpectedly physical turn when Ben pokes Brad’s chest: “And you just say, ‘Hey, buddy,’ and then you just swing…” The barstool slips, Brad crashes to the floor, breaking his finger. (34:11)
• At a crossroads—ruin the night by going to the ER or tough it out—Brad chooses ice and more drinks, enjoying “probably another three rounds” surrounded by friends and foe admirers. (36:12–37:34)
• The next morning, confronted with a swollen, discolored finger, Brad ultimately must seek medical attention, but never regrets savoring the “perfect night.” (38:27–39:36)

Notable Quotes

• “A bar is whatever you need a bar to be. It is your private reserve with your oldest friends, or a place to go meet new people…solace in failure, reward for victory.” – Brad Lawrence (31:30)
• “Even with the prospect that this eventually is going to be, you know, arthritic in my old age…looking back on it, I can’t say I regret it. Because it was just…a perfect night. You only get so many of those.” – Brad Lawrence (39:24)

Notable Moments & Quotes

• On Identity & Embellishment:
  “There’s some people that are not as open…when I’m like, ‘Oh, you also have a missing finger,’ and they don’t want to talk about it. So I’ve always taken this as a reason to embrace yourself.” – Bill Worley (09:49)

• On Health Care in America:
  “The solution here is to just not spend any money at the hospital…I had no leverage in any negotiation. It’s like, oh, yeah? Well, what’s it to you if I walk around with my hand all fucked up for the rest of my life?” – Dominic Dierkes (20:26–21:05)

• On Bar Life:
  “If you are a bar person…bars will mean different things to you at different points in your life.” – Brad Lawrence (31:30)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Intro & Musical Riffs: 00:02–04:51
• Bill Worley, “Just the Tip”: 05:45–10:42
• Dominic Dierkes, “Pillow Fighter”: 14:15–26:17
• Brad Lawrence, “A Perfect Night”: 29:33–39:36
• Closing Remarks & Credits: 39:36–41:40

Memorable Quotes with Speaker Attribution

• “It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. That I also see every day.”
  – Anonymous anesthesiologist (Dominic Dierkes relaying, 24:40)

• “Your hospital’s a racket.”
  – Dominic Dierkes (22:32)

• “A bar is whatever you need it to be. It is solace in failure, and it is a reward for victory.”
  – Brad Lawrence (31:30)

Episode Tone & Listener Takeaways

The episode is classic RISK!: raw, real, riotous, and reflective. The stories blend humor and heart, finding the fragile humanity behind each accident and making the case for embracing imperfection—whether it’s a missing fingertip, a foolish ER strategy, or a broken finger on a perfect night.

Takeaway:
The show encourages us to “embrace yourself,” own your quirks and scars, and, in true RISK! style—tell the story loud, wild, and true.

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