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The Sex Sabbatical: RISK! Reacts - RISK! | Wave AI Podcast Notes

The Sex Sabbatical: RISK! Reacts

Wed Feb 05 2025

Kevin hears Jameer Pond’s “The Sex Sabbatical” story from The Story Collider podcast for the first time and gives you his hot takes. You can also watch this episode on YouTube!

Summary

Podcast Summary: RISK! – "The Sex Sabbatical: RISK! Reacts"

Release Date: February 5, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of RISK!, titled "The Sex Sabbatical: RISK! Reacts," host Kevin Allison delves into a groundbreaking format where he reacts to a profound and personal story submitted by Jamir Pond, originally featured on the Story Collider podcast. This episode marks RISK!'s first venture into video content, blending the traditional audio storytelling with real-time reactions to enhance listener engagement.

Jameer Pond’s Story: "The Sex Sabbatical"

Early Experiences and Sexual Awakening

At [04:29], Jameer Pond begins his narrative by recounting his turbulent teenage years and the onset of his sexual awakening. At 13, he grapples with the physical changes of puberty, leading to a misguided attempt to manage his body by cutting pubic hair with his mother's disposable razor. This act results in painful and confusing symptoms, including red, itchy bumps, which he initially fears to be genital herpes despite being a virgin.

Influence of Pornography and Role Models

Jameer reflects on his limited understanding of sex, largely shaped by exposure to pornography, particularly the works of Wesley Pipes. [07:45] He describes Pipes as an idealized figure embodying the pinnacle of masculinity and sexual prowess, becoming a template for Jameer's own perception of manhood and communication through sex.

Relationship Dynamics and Emotional Intimacy

Transitioning into adulthood, Jameer develops a complex relationship characterized initially by casual sexual encounters reminiscent of his younger self’s interactions. However, after six years, emotional intimacy begins to surface, leading to a deeper connection with his ex-partner. [10:15] This evolution challenges his previously defined notions of masculinity and communication, highlighting his struggle to balance emotional vulnerability with his ingrained reliance on sexual conquest as a primary means of interaction.

The Proposal of a Sex Sabbatical

The turning point arrives during therapy, where Jameer's therapist advises him to take a "sex sabbatical"—a deliberate break from sexual activities to reassess his relationship with sex and intimacy. Initially resistant, Jameer agrees, leading to periods of abstinence aimed at self-reflection and personal growth. [14:20]

Experiencing Hematospermia

During this period, Jameer encounters a medical anomaly: hematospermia, the presence of blood in semen. [16:40] This unexpected medical condition forces him to confront his fears and confusion about his body, ultimately leading to a realization about the importance of open communication regarding sexual health. His experience underscores the physical and emotional complexities intertwined with his sexual journey.

Kevin Allison’s Reactions

Appreciation for the Story Arc

At [17:16], Kevin Allison expresses admiration for Jameer's ability to navigate through the complexities of his sexual and emotional development. He appreciates the narrative's depth, from the initial struggles with puberty to the eventual confrontation with intimate relationships and personal health.

Discussion on Relationship Dynamics

Kevin delves into the broader implications of Jameer's story, particularly the societal binary view of relationships as either deeply committed or entirely superficial. [19:00] He advocates for a more nuanced understanding, recognizing that relationships can exist on a spectrum with varying degrees of intimacy and commitment, emphasizing that clarity and communication are essential regardless of the relationship's nature.

Insights on Role Play and Communication

Further dissecting the narrative, Kevin highlights the role of role play and emotional honesty in maintaining healthy relationships. [21:19] He draws parallels between Jameer's experiences and his own, underscoring the importance of letting go of performance anxieties and fostering genuine connections through shared vulnerabilities and playful interactions.

Conclusion

Kevin concludes the episode by lauding Jameer's candor and the transformative journey outlined in his story. [30:45] He encourages listeners to appreciate the complexity of human sexuality and relationships, advocating for open dialogue and self-exploration as pathways to personal growth and healthier interpersonal connections. Kevin also extends gratitude to Story Collider for sharing such impactful stories and invites listeners to engage with RISK! through various platforms for more authentic and daring narratives.

Notable Quotes

Jameer Pond at [07:45]: “He exemplified everything I thought about manhood. He was a sexual conqueror.”
Jameer Pond at [14:20]: “Sex for me was like Superman with his cape on. What's Superman gonna do without the cape?”
Kevin Allison at [19:00]: “We tend to think in this very dual, you know, in this very binary way of thinking of either a relationship is deep and loyal and intimate... or it's completely worthless and it's just like a one night stand.”

Final Thoughts

"The Sex Sabbatical: RISK! Reacts" offers a deeply personal exploration of sexuality, emotional intimacy, and personal transformation. Through Jameer Pond's honest storytelling and Kevin Allison's thoughtful reactions, the episode provides listeners with valuable insights into the complexities of human relationships and the importance of self-awareness and communication. This episode exemplifies RISK!'s commitment to unveiling raw and unfiltered human experiences, inviting listeners to reflect on their own journeys with courage and openness.

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Transcript

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Kevin Allison (1:15)

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Nourish Dietitian (1:19)

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DSW Representative (1:21)

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Kevin Allison (1:22)

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Engaged Friend (1:30)

Okay, let's take a poll. How weird does it feel to be called someone's fiance?

Friend 1 (1:35)

Right?

Engaged Friend (1:36)

Friend 1 (4:29)

When I was like a teenager, right? Like I really wanted to have sex like bad despite not knowing my own body. Like I remember when I was like 13 and I saw some pubic hair coming in and I was like, oh no, I'm getting old. So I grabbed my mother's straight Bic razor and trimmed the pubic hair. Raw dog, no cream, nothing. And I was startled a week later when these like pussy red itchy bumps came back and I convinced myself that I had genital herpes despite being a virgin. That's how much I knew about my own body. The only things I really knew about sex came from the LeBron James the Black porn Wesley Pipes. And if you don't know about Wesley Pipes, Google on your own time. But like I would watch this dude on movies like ghetto booty 2 and all dad ass 23 and I would be enamored. I mean he could be anybody. He want a doctor, a lawyer, a basketball player, a pizza delivery guy, and it Was the same constant. He would be having sex with the most beautiful women. And I knew at 13 that's exactly what I wanted to do with my life. He exemplified everything I thought about manhood. He was a sexual conqueror. And I remember watching him. And by the time I got to college, like, that became a part of my personality, too, Because I figured out that I could have sex pretty fucking well, and that became a part of my personality. I didn't know how to fight. I wasn't good at sports, But I could fuck. And that became my preferred method of communication. I might not be able to tell you how I felt about you, but I could show you. And this worked. This worked. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun until it was no longer fun. And it stopped being fun in my twenties when I learned two important words that would change my life. Emotional intimacy. Stupid, right? Like, I started learning about emotional intimacy. Intimacy in a decade, on and off long relationship with my ex partner. And, you know, going into the relationship, it was very much, again, Wesley Pipes. Esque, right? The prodigal son of Wesley Pipes. But about, like, six years into the relationship, that started to change. My comfortability with my ex partner started to grow, and I started to leave my ego at the door and become more present in sex. And I realized how much I like that. I didn't know. I liked, for instance, like, looking at the person, that's my shit, y'all. Like that. Like, that's my shit. Like, kissing and cuddling and all the things I couldn't tell my homies I love to do with my shorty. But when we broke up, I took the attentiveness, the comfortability, the safety, all the boyfriend did things into the streets and started to form again those casual sexual relationships, but they were disastrous this time. It was not fun. I couldn't establish my boundaries because every time I would say, hey, no, I don't want to get in a relationship. That's not what I want, my penis would say, marry me. And we were not on the same page. So this came up in therapy, of course. I keep talking to my therapists like, hey, you know, I kind of keep getting in these pseudo relationships where I'm intending not to be in one, but my body is saying something totally different. And my therapist, she looked at me and said, well, you know what, Jamil? You should probably take a sex sabbatical. And I'll be honest, around this time, that probably was the cherry on top that made me kind of disgusted with therapy. How dare you try to change Me for the better is what I was thinking in my mind. Sex for me was like Superman with his cape on. What's Superman gonna do without the cape? I did not know who I would be and what I would do without sex in my life at that point in time. And so my therapist was like, well, you can continue to have sex and keep running into the same cycles, or you can give yourself a break, recharge and think about this. And begrudgingly, begrudgingly, I decided to take a sex sabbatical. And I realized I liked it. So then throughout, like, the pandemic years, I'm taking periodic time where I'm just going on sexual sabbatical residencies. I'm taking myself out the game for load management for all my basketball fans in the building because I needed to recharge and reevaluate. And I enjoyed it. I mean, I wasn't worried about getting in relationships. I wasn't worried about, like, my ego getting in the way of how I felt about sending mixed messages. I was doing a juice cleanse. Like, I was feeling really good about myself. But then, you know, sometimes you get horny, right? Like, sometimes as humans, we just get horny. I remember this particular time when I got horny. I have been texting another one. This is another ex partner of mine. And the thing about her and I is that we have a lot of different chemistry. Like, we got really good sexual chemistry, but we also have really good intellectual chemistry as well. Like word alliteration when we're talking nasty to each other. And I let her know it was tank time. And she said, it's tank time. I said, it's taint time. So we schedule. We schedule her coming over. And I'll be honest, like, in the process of her making our way over to my place, I was having second thoughts. I hadn't had sex in a while. Like, I couldn't. I couldn't remember the last time I had sex. I wasn't masturbating, anything like that. And my confidence was fucking with me. I didn't know if I could sexually perform like I used to. Would it be like riding a bike? I don't know. I hadn't been absent ever in life like this. But when she comes over like, that confidence and that comfortability came right back. And we begin to engage in sex. That's right. Now, I'll be honest. I was full. So I arrived at the station a little early. And when I'm about to pull out of the station, follow, follow the pun. There we go. Follow the metaphor. We here. When I'm coming out of the station, just like Wesley Pipes, I'm preparing to give this wonderful stream of artistic validation from my body. And this beautiful, powerful pool of dark fuchsia colored liquid shot out of me.

Friend 1 (12:34)

It's a silence. I'm not saying anything. My ex is speechless. The first thing that came to my mind was beats, right? I had been doing a juice cleanse. And I know this game because the first time I had beets, I had to get a prostate exam because I thought I was bleeding out my ass. And that's another story. But the point is that there was already a hypothesis in process. But as I examined the dark fuchsia colored fluid, I realized that it was blood. And I went numb and I went deaf, like a little bit. Whatever my ex was saying, I couldn't hear in my mind. I was going through, like my dick highlight reel, like my best performances because I for sure thought, like, this is the last time I'm gonna be able to have sex. And the words from my ex pierced through the deafness and it was, you gotta go see a doctor. And I was like, fuck, you're right. So I went to Costa Rica. No, I'm playing. I'm playing. I didn't come. I'm playing. I definitely want to throw my Costa Rica hat in there, though. I'm playing, though. So her and I go to urgent care and I leave the lobby and I go into the doctor's office and I'm trying to keep it cool on the outside, but internally, like, I don't know what's happening. I'm thinking I might die. Is my dick going die? I don't know what. And so the doctor is like, well, okay, Jamil, what's going on? I said, I'm be honest with you. I just. Blood, Doc. And I don't know what that means. And I'm scared, but this never happened to me before. And he sat back and he was like, are you in pain right now? I was like, no. He said, did it hurt or was anything sore when you were ejaculating? I was like, no, it's. It felt normal. So he sat back and he had this smirk on his face and he said, well, you know, Mr. Pond, this is actually more common than you think. He said, doc, I'm menstruating out of my dick right now. There's nothing common about this for me, at least for me. And he said, well, if this is the first time it's happening, there's no pain. You might have suffered what is called hematospermia, which is a pot blood vessel in the urethra of your penis. I was like, a pop blood vessel? He said, a pop blood vessel. And so he started to go over the symptoms. Like, you know, it's built through sometimes some. Some rough sex, you know, painful sex, or large builds ups of abstinence. And I was like, the abstinence. God damn, abstinence got me. And so, like we said. But he was like, you know, we're gonna test you and make sure that you're good and you're clear and, you know, that you'll be all right. And I started to get frustrated because, like, as a man, I'm 35 years old, it's the first time I've ever heard of hematospermia. And I asked. I said, how come I've never heard about this? How come I've never heard about this discussed in medical circles or anything like that? I haven't seen any studies. They ain't talk about this on Bill Nye the Science Guy. Like, I've heard nothing about this. And he said, well, Mr. Pond, frankly, a lot of men are embarrassed. Like, one in 5,000 men are diagnosed with, like, hematospermia. But I suspect that it's small. It's a larger number of people, but nobody comes to get checked. It's like, you're one of the rare ones that does. I said, bloodshot out of my dick. I don't think you understand. But they test me. I'm clear. And he says, in three days max, you should be good. Good as new. And I thought about that. I was really proud of myself. Like, my idea of, like, manhood kind of changed. It wasn't like I was looking at Wesley, and I'm like, yes, that's a man. I'm just glad I spoke up when I saw an alarming sign. You know, my first method of communication is sex, but I'm glad I used my second, which speaking the fuck up about my body. Thank you.

Kevin Allison (21:19)

Hey, we're back. And so this is my immediate reaction to Jir's story. First of all, I love how he took us on such an arc. You know, I mean, it started when he was just a kid and just getting to know his own body. And that was interesting the way that that came back around toward the end, because it started kind of technical, right, with not knowing how pubic hair grows and then causing problems with, oh, my God, the. Those disposable razors are just a nightmare. I don't know how anyone uses it for any part of the body. Those things haunt me. But, yeah, how as a kid, I think he, you know, we all go through this process of learning that sex is automatically going to be a medical issue. You know, like, if you're someone who has lots of sex, like I do, that means I have to go to the doctor about that, you know, at least three times or so a year just to get all my tests and things like that done. But yeah, it was, it was kind of a treat the way that he took us on such a learning art arc with ups and downs along the way, and a lot of it, you know, a lot of what he was moving into was just the unknown a lot of the time. I also love the fact that it's about the fact that we have different kinds of relationships, and that's okay. I, I think that this is a real sticking point for so many people. We, we tend to think in this very dual, you know, in this very binary way of thinking of either a relationship is deep and loyal and intimate, like a, like a marriage sort of monogamous marriage sort of relationship, or it's completely worthless and it's just like a one night stand and it's kind of trash, right? And it's so interesting the older I get and the more. I mean, I've had so many different kinds of relationships, and it just took me decades, it took me until like my 40s to realize, oh, this is perfectly okay. We can find out what the parameters and dimensions of this relationship are just between the two of us. It might be super casual, it might just be the, you know, fuck buddies, as they say, but within that playing field, as long as you have a little bit of clarity about it. With one another. So it does. Does require some. Some communication if it's not like, it doesn't have to be an overt sitting down and having like a therapeutic talk with one another, but just kind of, you know, processing together a little bit more than, you know, some people, especially men, might be used to, really helps because, you know, like, for example, I was with a fella last night and we had a wonderful role play. We do a role play sort of, but it wasn't. He came over at like 6:30 and it wasn't until like 9:30 that we started because the first three hours were just super emotional, checking in about our lives. And it's just so interesting that then we're able to go into this sort of role play almost as if we're completely different characters and then come back together and process things together. And I don't know, I've just found it so fascinating that I think people underestimate that you can have very valuable relationships, even if it's someone you only see once a year or something like that, and treat it as a special and unique thing. And role play is another thing that has taught me. Like, he was talking about, that was very funny, the line about he had graduated into looking at someone. And role play is another thing that I didn't discover really until my 40s is a really fascinating way to do that. Because, you know, I mean, I studied acting when I was in high school and college, and I once had an acting teacher who was very Jungian. She would invite literally one of the 12 Jungian archetypes out of you. So you would be like, you'd walk around in a circle real fast, which starts to get hypnosis and dizziness happening. And she would say, okay, I want to invite Kevin's warrior out or Kevin's lover or Kevin's innocent, you know, whatever, all those archetypes. And it was fascinating to watch how if that is invited out of you and you start letting it out like you're. Your posture changes, your voice changes, you start to communicate these aspects that are in your psyche. You're just not used to talking and walking and acting that way. And so role play in the bedroom was a way that I learned. Oh, you know, like, there can be like some looking into each other's eyes, for example, in a whole new way when you've like, agreed to a sort of a dynamic between the two of you as far as like, archetypes or characters. You know, I also loved how much of a sense of humor he had. You know, Very self deprecating. I myself don't relate so much to. Well, I think I have a shyness throughout my entire life toward the whole performance. Well, I was just talking about roleplay, but I mean performance in the standard societal. Oh, a man is supposed to be erect all the time and supposed to be able to come and perform and, and, and that, that proves that you're a man and all that. Like, I never like any aspect of like competing or reaching a certain point bar or how you compare to someone else in the bedroom. Like I don't like all that stuff. So no, I couldn't relate. I mean, I'm also a gay guy, so I couldn't relate as well to him having a hero in this, this amazing porn star who was, no matter what situation he was in, life was like Superman once the clothes came off. But I loved how he had such a sense of humor about that because I think that that really helps when addressing all that anxiety that men tend to have about maintaining an erection or getting an erection or calming or, you know, all these things that we worry about like how good am I at sex? You know, a lot of that you have to like let go of and, and also sometimes having a sense of humor with your partner or just, or just, just admitting something like, I don't know, I'm kind of, I don't know if I, I might not have an erection today because of this, that or the other. And I, that, that I've done that many times and found that that makes things so much more fun to lift the lid on having to perform, you know, to a certain standard. Right. So yeah, over the years I've found confidence in being usually just a big generic role as being like the sweet daddy, you know what I mean? Like the one who's leading, but leading in a very nurturing and helpful and almost servicey sort of way. But anyway, I think that he is so much fun and such a natural that now I'm determined to see if we can get him on risk because that was a blast and I'm so thankful it was so much fun that this is our maiden voyage into this sort of reaction kind of project. So thank you to Jameer for sharing his story with us. You can find him@jamirpond.com and of course thanks to the Story Collider for sending us Jameer's story. They are dear friends of ours with fantastic true stories that usually have a little something to do with science. And they're@storycollider.com and thank all of you for listening along with me as we give this whole Risk Reacts experiment a try. Let us know what you think. And if you hear a killer story on some other podcast and you. Oh, Kevin, Allison has got to hear this one, let us know. You can find us on social media at RiskShow and on our YouTube channel, also at RiskShow and always. Our website is risk-show.com, but don't ruin it. You know, like, let us know the story title and who the storyteller is and what the show is. But. But don't spoil it for me. Okay, folks, Today's the day. Take a risk.