Podcast Summary: RISK! – Episode "Untangling" Release Date: April 22, 2025 Host: Kevin Allison

Introduction

In the April 22, 2025 episode of RISK!, titled "Untangling", host Kevin Allison delves into the intricate and emotional journey of divorce. The episode features two compelling stories from Elaine Gale and Heather Farley, each offering unique perspectives on ending a marriage and the personal transformations that follow. Allison emphasizes the theme of compassion, both towards oneself and others, setting the stage for deeply personal and heart-wrenching narratives.

Elaine Gale: Weaving a New Web

Timestamp: [05:57]

Elaine Gale opens her story, "Weaving a New Web," by recounting a vivid dream where she interacts with a cardboard cutout of her ex-husband on stage. The dream symbolizes her tumultuous emotions surrounding their divorce—ranging from love and hatred to desperation. This dream inspires her to create a life-sized cardboard cutout, representing the full scale of her emotional upheaval.

Elaine Gale [05:57]: "The pain of divorce is life-sized. You can't cut it in half or shrink it down or miniaturize it."

Elaine shares the logistical challenges of setting up the cutout in her garden and the eventual decision to store it in her shed, symbolizing her attempt to manage lingering memories and emotions. She humorously notes her ex-husband's advice against marrying or divorcing a writer, highlighting the complexities of controlling one's narrative post-divorce.

The narrative takes a darker turn as Elaine describes her ex-husband's sudden departure for Austin with a much younger girlfriend during the pandemic, fueling her anger and leading to a near-act of vandalism. However, thanks to intervention from her practical friend Terry from Iowa, she avoids committing a misdemeanor, opting instead to focus on personal growth.

Elaine reflects on her descent into depression, substance use, and self-doubt, eventually finding solace in small moments and random kindnesses that signify her healing journey. She draws parallels between her experience and the resilience of spiders rebuilding their webs, underscoring the theme of renewal and adaptation.

Elaine Gale [21:24]: "Love changes us. Even love that ends the web I weave now is different because of our marriage."

Elaine concludes her story with a poignant reflection on her marriage, loss, and the ongoing process of self-discovery and acceptance.

Heather Farley: Breaking Point

Timestamp: [28:57]

Heather Farley's story, "Breaking Point," begins with her reflections on her upbringing and marriage. Coming from a modest background, Heather contrasts her family's frugality with the affluent lifestyle of her husband's family, leading to cultural and personal clashes.

During the divorce negotiations, Heather demonstrates her assertiveness by prioritizing meaningful personal connections over material possessions. She requests her gray Russian cat and a piece of Robert Rauschenberg's artwork, symbolizing her desire to retain elements of her identity and past amidst the dissolution of her marriage.

Heather Farley [28:57]: "Was this really what it boiled down to? Was this all I had?"

Heather recounts a manic episode triggered by her anxiety over giving away the valuable artwork. In a moment of emotional turmoil, she impulsively decides to gift the painting to the public, a decision she later regrets deeply. This act leads to a profound sense of loss and shame, compounding her struggles with the divorce.

Through her journey, Heather explores themes of self-worth, identity, and resilience. She details her path from despair to empowerment, highlighting how the divorce became a catalyst for personal growth and reevaluation of her values.

Heather Farley [44:06]: "Pizza is a luxury. But my parents' Yankee frugality was actually them saving everything they could to provide for their children."

Heather's story is a testament to the complexities of ending a marriage and the strength required to rebuild one's life from the fragments of the past.

Conclusion

In "Untangling," Kevin Allison masterfully navigates the delicate subject of divorce, presenting stories that are both raw and relatable. Through Elaine Gale and Heather Farley’s narratives, the episode underscores the multifaceted nature of ending a relationship—highlighting pain, anger, resilience, and ultimately, the journey towards healing and self-discovery. The episode serves as a compassionate space for listeners to connect with their own experiences of loss and growth.

Notable Quotes

• Elaine Gale [05:57]: "The pain of divorce is life-sized. You can't cut it in half or shrink it down or miniaturize it."

• Elaine Gale [21:24]: "Love changes us. Even love that ends the web I weave now is different because of our marriage."

• Heather Farley [28:57]: "Was this really what it boiled down to? Was this all I had?"

• Heather Farley [44:06]: "Pizza is a luxury. But my parents' Yankee frugality was actually them saving everything they could to provide for their children."

This episode of RISK! not only entertains but also provides deep insights into the human condition, particularly the emotional labyrinth that is divorce. Through authentic storytelling, listeners are invited to reflect on their own experiences and cultivate compassion for their personal untanglings.