RISK! Podcast: âWe Are Familyâ (December 9, 2025)
Hosted by Kevin Allison
Episode Overview
In this candid and irreverent episode of RISK!, host Kevin Allison brings together two deeply personal, vivid stories centered on the messiness, love, pain, secrets, and conflicting loyalties of family. Jillian Markowitz shares a fierce, darkly comic odyssey through sisterhood, while David Joseph offers a raw, poignant exploration of masculinity, secrets, and queer identity in a Black family. As always, the tone is unfiltered, emotionally charged, and sharply honestâa showcase of how truth and myth, love and pain, live side by side in our family ties.
Key Stories and Discussion Points
1. "Uncomfortably Close" by Jillian Markowitz
[02:06â17:49]
- Sibling Rivalry and Complicated Love:
- The story opens with Jillian recalling her childhood dynamic with her older sister, marked by complex emotions: affection, resentment, and a persistent need for approval.
- âMy brother liked to hug me and kiss me and my sister liked to smack me in the head.â [02:06]
- Their play centered around mischievous Barbie games that hint at the pairâs imaginative, subversive rapport:
- âOur Barbie games usually consisted of teen pregnancies⌠I donât know who was getting her pregnant because all our Ken dolls were gay.â [02:26]
- The story opens with Jillian recalling her childhood dynamic with her older sister, marked by complex emotions: affection, resentment, and a persistent need for approval.
- The Soup Incident and Lifelong Branding:
- A pivotal childhood incident occurs when Jillianâs action (pushing a chaise) accidentally results in her sister suffering second-degree burns from spilled hot soup. Her sister frames Jillian as the perpetrator.
- âShe let my parents think I had intentionally given her second-degree burns⌠And I was branded as having anger management issues for the next 16 years.â [04:36]
- This event leads to a family narrative of Jillian as âdangerous,â affecting her identity and self-image for years:
- âAfter that, I could not slam a doorâŚI couldnât raise my voiceâŚwithout hearing one of my parents talk about my dangerous little temperature.â [05:03]
- âThe thing about people saying you have anger management issues isâŚthe more passionately you try to defend yourself, the more you prove them right.â [05:33]
- A pivotal childhood incident occurs when Jillianâs action (pushing a chaise) accidentally results in her sister suffering second-degree burns from spilled hot soup. Her sister frames Jillian as the perpetrator.
- The Bachelorette Party and Emotional Breaking Point:
- Fast-forward to young adulthood: Jillianâs sister, engaged but struggling, invites her and a friend to a low-key bachelorette weekend in Miami.
- Jillian, aware of her sisterâs perennially biting humor, orchestrates a plan with her sisterâs friend Greg to become the target for the night and keep her sister in good spirits.
- âMake fun of me as much as you need to. Roast the hell out of me. Throw me under the bus. Itâs fine. Maid of honor duties.â [10:24]
- The plan backfires when her sister, seeing through the set-up, physically lashes out, violently slapping Jillian in public.
- âShe raised her open hand to the sky and took it straight, full force right across my temple, knocking me to my knees in the middle of the street.â [12:17]
- After a brutal confrontation, Jillian is left reeling, isolated, and questioning the darkness in herselfâalmost imagining pushing her sister off the balcony in a moment of raw pain.
- âAnd then for a split second. I thought about how easy it would be to just push herâŚâ [14:28]
- Unspoken Apologies and Enduring Bonds:
- In the aftermath, her sisterâs peace offering is strikingly emblematic of their relationship: she brings Barbies for them to play with on the flight home.
- âThis was it, her apology. She thoughtâŚshe could still buy me off with a game. Of fucking Barbies. And she was right.â [16:06]
- Jillian reflects on the volatile but enduring nature of sisterhood:
- âWe went from literally almost killing each otherâliterallyâto playing Barbies in less than 24 hours. But I think what you have to understand is that with sisters, love and hate sit uncomfortably close, often wearing matching outfits.â [17:27]
- In the aftermath, her sisterâs peace offering is strikingly emblematic of their relationship: she brings Barbies for them to play with on the flight home.
Memorable Quote:
âWith sisters, love and hate sit uncomfortably close, often wearing matching outfits.â
âJillian Markowitz [17:27]
2. "Queer Fears" by David Joseph
[21:54â37:56]
- Black Masculinity, Queerness, and Family Expectations:
- David describes growing up âa weird kidâ in a Black family where difference, and particularly queerness, was not easily accepted. His fatherâs immigrant background adds pressure to âbe a man.â
- âMy father, Rex, he always found my weirdness off puttingâŚhe was very strict about the roles of a black man, particularly heavily on the man bit.â [22:14]
- A crucial point of contention emerges around Davidâs love of Pee Wee Hermanâinnocent for him but âgayâ in his fatherâs eyes. His cherished doll is taken away in his fatherâs bid to make him more âstraight.â
- âI was too young to really understand why that bothered my father untilâŚI realizedâŚhe thought Pee Wee Herman was gay. And my obsessionâŚwas slowly turning me gay.â [24:06]
- Davidâs father attempts to âbutch him upâ with action movies, a move that ends humorously counter to its intent:
- âWe watched Predator togetherâŚand even as a child, I was thinking that was the gayest thing Iâve ever seen in my life.â [25:09]
- David describes growing up âa weird kidâ in a Black family where difference, and particularly queerness, was not easily accepted. His fatherâs immigrant background adds pressure to âbe a man.â
- Family Secrets and the Myth of Masculinity:
- At 15, David is introduced to his Uncle Ronâa towering figure in family lore and the embodiment of Black masculine cool.
- âBack in the day, Uncle Ron was the pinnacle of masculinityâŚj ust the coolest black man youâve ever metâŚâ [26:55]
- Uncle Ron takes David through the city, their day marked by brief, awkward encounters and moments when the mask slips, revealing Ronâs sadness and alienation from siblings.
- âHe talks about how he never felt accepted by his siblings. Dad was the only one who really accepted himâŚIt sent him down a terrible pathâŚHe had so many regrets.â [33:17]
- In a sudden moment of revelation, David realizes that Ron is living in an AIDS hospiceâhis âapartmentâ is a care facility, and the family story is a facade.
- âAt that moment, I realized that my Uncle Ron was not in an apartment that he bought. It was a hospice for AIDS patients. My uncleâŚwas dying of AIDS.â [34:38]
- Davidâs father remains oblivious to Ronâs truth, clinging to the myth of his supremely masculine brother.
- âDid he introduce you to a lot of ladies? Because, you know, thatâs Uncle Ron.â [35:12]
- At 15, David is introduced to his Uncle Ronâa towering figure in family lore and the embodiment of Black masculine cool.
- The Cost of Living as a Legend:
- Uncle Ronâs death prompts David to reflect on legacy, secrecy, and the damage of never being truly known.
- âYou donât have to tell people anything about yourself. You can just be who they want you to beâŚYou get to be remembered as a fucking icon. But I also saw where that ends up. Alone in an apartment, surrounded by the few memories of the good times.â [37:19]
- Uncle Ronâs death prompts David to reflect on legacy, secrecy, and the damage of never being truly known.
Memorable Quote:
âYou can just be who they want you to beâŚYou get to be remembered as a fucking icon. But I also saw where that ends up: alone in an apartment, surrounded by the few memories of the good times of your life.â
âDavid Joseph [37:36]
Reflections & Host Commentary
Kevin Allison [38:12â...]:
- Kevin connects both stories to the universal struggle between truth, performance, and acceptance within families and communities.
- He shares his own experience of storytelling as both a means of exposure and self-protection:
- âSometimes I would reveal some aspect of myselfâŚand feel like I had kind of pulled a veil awayâŚbut then feel like I'd slipped another one right under it.â [38:12]
- He references Taoist philosophy on the impossibility of fully expressing the âtruth,â noting, âThe moment you put anything into wordsâŚyouâd have to then say, on the other hand, thoughâŚâ [38:12]
- The episode closes with gratitude for the storytellersâ vulnerability and a gentle challenge to listeners: What stories are you still concealing, or performing, for the ones you love?
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
On Family Narratives:
- âThe thing about people saying that you have anger management issues is that the more passionately you try to defend yourself, the more you prove them right.â
âJillian Markowitz [05:33]
- âThe thing about people saying that you have anger management issues is that the more passionately you try to defend yourself, the more you prove them right.â
-
On Familyâs Double-Edged Love:
- âShe was at her happiest when the whole family joined together to mock someone, usually me.â
âJillian Markowitz [06:19]
- âShe was at her happiest when the whole family joined together to mock someone, usually me.â
-
On Hiding and Revealing:
- âYou can just be who they want you to beâŚBut I also saw where that ends up.â
âDavid Joseph [37:36]
- âYou can just be who they want you to beâŚBut I also saw where that ends up.â
-
On Breaking the Loneliness with Storytelling:
- âLoneliness does not come from not having people around. It comes from feeling unable to share with people what feels important to you.â
âKevin Allison [38:12]
- âLoneliness does not come from not having people around. It comes from feeling unable to share with people what feels important to you.â
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Segment | Speaker | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|-----------------------|--------------| | Introduction | Kevin Allison | 00:54 | | âUncomfortably Closeâ â Story begins | Jillian Markowitz | 02:06 | | The Soup Incident | Jillian Markowitz | 03:09â05:00 | | Defining âAnger Issuesâ | Jillian Markowitz | 05:03â05:43 | | Bachelorette confrontation | Jillian Markowitz | 08:37â14:44 | | The Barbie Reconciliation | Jillian Markowitz | 16:01â16:49 | | Story wrap-up/reflection | Jillian Markowitz | 16:49â17:49 | | âQueer Fearsâ â Story begins | David Joseph | 21:54 | | Pee Wee Herman & Performance Anxiety | David Joseph | 23:22â25:09 | | Meeting Uncle Ron | David Joseph | 26:55â31:16 | | The Truth about Ron â AIDS hospice | David Joseph | 34:12â34:56 | | Legacy, myth, and loneliness | David Joseph | 37:03â37:49 | | Host reflections on storytelling | Kevin Allison | 38:12â43:54 |
Summary
This episode of RISK! dives into the paradoxes and secret histories at the heart of families. Through Jillian Markowitzâs sharply funny yet wounding tale of sibling rivalry and David Josephâs powerful account of identity, masculinity, and silence, listeners are reminded that the stories we tellâand donât tellâshape how we live and how weâre remembered. Family is the place where âlove and hate sit uncomfortably close,â and sometimes, the price of being a âlegendâ is everlasting solitude. As always, risk is inseparable from honesty, and telling the truthâin all its messinessâmay be our best chance at real connection.
