RISK! Podcast: “We Are Family” (December 9, 2025)

Hosted by Kevin Allison

Episode Overview

In this candid and irreverent episode of RISK!, host Kevin Allison brings together two deeply personal, vivid stories centered on the messiness, love, pain, secrets, and conflicting loyalties of family. Jillian Markowitz shares a fierce, darkly comic odyssey through sisterhood, while David Joseph offers a raw, poignant exploration of masculinity, secrets, and queer identity in a Black family. As always, the tone is unfiltered, emotionally charged, and sharply honest—a showcase of how truth and myth, love and pain, live side by side in our family ties.

Key Stories and Discussion Points

1. "Uncomfortably Close" by Jillian Markowitz

[02:06–17:49]

• Sibling Rivalry and Complicated Love:
  • The story opens with Jillian recalling her childhood dynamic with her older sister, marked by complex emotions: affection, resentment, and a persistent need for approval.
    • “My brother liked to hug me and kiss me and my sister liked to smack me in the head.” [02:06]
  • Their play centered around mischievous Barbie games that hint at the pair’s imaginative, subversive rapport:
    • “Our Barbie games usually consisted of teen pregnancies… I don’t know who was getting her pregnant because all our Ken dolls were gay.” [02:26]
• The Soup Incident and Lifelong Branding:
  • A pivotal childhood incident occurs when Jillian’s action (pushing a chaise) accidentally results in her sister suffering second-degree burns from spilled hot soup. Her sister frames Jillian as the perpetrator.
    • “She let my parents think I had intentionally given her second-degree burns… And I was branded as having anger management issues for the next 16 years.” [04:36]
  • This event leads to a family narrative of Jillian as “dangerous,” affecting her identity and self-image for years:
    • “After that, I could not slam a door…I couldn’t raise my voice…without hearing one of my parents talk about my dangerous little temperature.” [05:03]
    • “The thing about people saying you have anger management issues is…the more passionately you try to defend yourself, the more you prove them right.” [05:33]
• The Bachelorette Party and Emotional Breaking Point:
  • Fast-forward to young adulthood: Jillian’s sister, engaged but struggling, invites her and a friend to a low-key bachelorette weekend in Miami.
  • Jillian, aware of her sister’s perennially biting humor, orchestrates a plan with her sister’s friend Greg to become the target for the night and keep her sister in good spirits.
    • “Make fun of me as much as you need to. Roast the hell out of me. Throw me under the bus. It’s fine. Maid of honor duties.” [10:24]
  • The plan backfires when her sister, seeing through the set-up, physically lashes out, violently slapping Jillian in public.
    • “She raised her open hand to the sky and took it straight, full force right across my temple, knocking me to my knees in the middle of the street.” [12:17]
  • After a brutal confrontation, Jillian is left reeling, isolated, and questioning the darkness in herself—almost imagining pushing her sister off the balcony in a moment of raw pain.
    • “And then for a split second. I thought about how easy it would be to just push her…” [14:28]
• Unspoken Apologies and Enduring Bonds:
  • In the aftermath, her sister’s peace offering is strikingly emblematic of their relationship: she brings Barbies for them to play with on the flight home.
    • “This was it, her apology. She thought…she could still buy me off with a game. Of fucking Barbies. And she was right.” [16:06]
  • Jillian reflects on the volatile but enduring nature of sisterhood:
    • “We went from literally almost killing each other—literally—to playing Barbies in less than 24 hours. But I think what you have to understand is that with sisters, love and hate sit uncomfortably close, often wearing matching outfits.” [17:27]

Memorable Quote:

“With sisters, love and hate sit uncomfortably close, often wearing matching outfits.”
—Jillian Markowitz [17:27]

2. "Queer Fears" by David Joseph

[21:54–37:56]

• Black Masculinity, Queerness, and Family Expectations:
  • David describes growing up “a weird kid” in a Black family where difference, and particularly queerness, was not easily accepted. His father’s immigrant background adds pressure to “be a man.”
    • “My father, Rex, he always found my weirdness off putting…he was very strict about the roles of a black man, particularly heavily on the man bit.” [22:14]
  • A crucial point of contention emerges around David’s love of Pee Wee Herman—innocent for him but “gay” in his father’s eyes. His cherished doll is taken away in his father’s bid to make him more “straight.”
    • “I was too young to really understand why that bothered my father until…I realized…he thought Pee Wee Herman was gay. And my obsession…was slowly turning me gay.” [24:06]
  • David’s father attempts to “butch him up” with action movies, a move that ends humorously counter to its intent:
    • “We watched Predator together…and even as a child, I was thinking that was the gayest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” [25:09]
• Family Secrets and the Myth of Masculinity:
  • At 15, David is introduced to his Uncle Ron—a towering figure in family lore and the embodiment of Black masculine cool.
    • “Back in the day, Uncle Ron was the pinnacle of masculinity…j ust the coolest black man you’ve ever met…” [26:55]
  • Uncle Ron takes David through the city, their day marked by brief, awkward encounters and moments when the mask slips, revealing Ron’s sadness and alienation from siblings.
    • “He talks about how he never felt accepted by his siblings. Dad was the only one who really accepted him…It sent him down a terrible path…He had so many regrets.” [33:17]
  • In a sudden moment of revelation, David realizes that Ron is living in an AIDS hospice—his “apartment” is a care facility, and the family story is a facade.
    • “At that moment, I realized that my Uncle Ron was not in an apartment that he bought. It was a hospice for AIDS patients. My uncle…was dying of AIDS.” [34:38]
  • David’s father remains oblivious to Ron’s truth, clinging to the myth of his supremely masculine brother.
    • “Did he introduce you to a lot of ladies? Because, you know, that’s Uncle Ron.” [35:12]
• The Cost of Living as a Legend:
  • Uncle Ron’s death prompts David to reflect on legacy, secrecy, and the damage of never being truly known.
    • “You don’t have to tell people anything about yourself. You can just be who they want you to be…You get to be remembered as a fucking icon. But I also saw where that ends up. Alone in an apartment, surrounded by the few memories of the good times.” [37:19]

Memorable Quote:

“You can just be who they want you to be…You get to be remembered as a fucking icon. But I also saw where that ends up: alone in an apartment, surrounded by the few memories of the good times of your life.”
—David Joseph [37:36]

Reflections & Host Commentary

Kevin Allison [38:12–...]:

• Kevin connects both stories to the universal struggle between truth, performance, and acceptance within families and communities.
• He shares his own experience of storytelling as both a means of exposure and self-protection:
  • “Sometimes I would reveal some aspect of myself…and feel like I had kind of pulled a veil away…but then feel like I'd slipped another one right under it.” [38:12]
• He references Taoist philosophy on the impossibility of fully expressing the “truth,” noting, “The moment you put anything into words…you’d have to then say, on the other hand, though…” [38:12]
• The episode closes with gratitude for the storytellers’ vulnerability and a gentle challenge to listeners: What stories are you still concealing, or performing, for the ones you love?

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Family Narratives:

  • “The thing about people saying that you have anger management issues is that the more passionately you try to defend yourself, the more you prove them right.”
    —Jillian Markowitz [05:33]

• On Family’s Double-Edged Love:

  • “She was at her happiest when the whole family joined together to mock someone, usually me.”
    —Jillian Markowitz [06:19]

• On Hiding and Revealing:

  • “You can just be who they want you to be…But I also saw where that ends up.”
    —David Joseph [37:36]

• On Breaking the Loneliness with Storytelling:

  • “Loneliness does not come from not having people around. It comes from feeling unable to share with people what feels important to you.”
    —Kevin Allison [38:12]

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Speaker | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|-----------------------|--------------| | Introduction | Kevin Allison | 00:54 | | “Uncomfortably Close” – Story begins | Jillian Markowitz | 02:06 | | The Soup Incident | Jillian Markowitz | 03:09–05:00 | | Defining “Anger Issues” | Jillian Markowitz | 05:03–05:43 | | Bachelorette confrontation | Jillian Markowitz | 08:37–14:44 | | The Barbie Reconciliation | Jillian Markowitz | 16:01–16:49 | | Story wrap-up/reflection | Jillian Markowitz | 16:49–17:49 | | “Queer Fears” – Story begins | David Joseph | 21:54 | | Pee Wee Herman & Performance Anxiety | David Joseph | 23:22–25:09 | | Meeting Uncle Ron | David Joseph | 26:55–31:16 | | The Truth about Ron – AIDS hospice | David Joseph | 34:12–34:56 | | Legacy, myth, and loneliness | David Joseph | 37:03–37:49 | | Host reflections on storytelling | Kevin Allison | 38:12–43:54 |

Summary

This episode of RISK! dives into the paradoxes and secret histories at the heart of families. Through Jillian Markowitz’s sharply funny yet wounding tale of sibling rivalry and David Joseph’s powerful account of identity, masculinity, and silence, listeners are reminded that the stories we tell—and don’t tell—shape how we live and how we’re remembered. Family is the place where “love and hate sit uncomfortably close,” and sometimes, the price of being a “legend” is everlasting solitude. As always, risk is inseparable from honesty, and telling the truth—in all its messiness—may be our best chance at real connection.