Podcast
Run Your Mouth
Hosted by Robbie Bernstein · EN
Robbie The Fire's rundown of the biggest news stories. Live in the future and celebrate being right. This podcast has an incredible track record of being completely unresearchered and almost entirely correct on the worlds biggest issues. We might be pulling the information out of our A$$ but there seems to be some good intel in there.
21episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Making it up as we go
2w ago01:11:16Tap to summarizeNobody knows what's going on in the world, and this is the one show honest about the fact that we're making it up as we go.Fifty thousand fighting-aged men invade a Spanish enclave, take a dump, and turn around and go home — and it remains genuinely unclear who got pranked. Rob offers some creative solutions for Iran, including outsourcing the whole invasion in exchange for half the oil. Trump calls off the biggest military action since World War II for roughly the eleventh time and says the Iranians are secretly begging, no matter what they say in public. The pool vandalism case gets closed for lack of evidence. Todd Blanche decides the weaponization of the Justice Department wasn't so bad once a promotion is on the table. Mamdani hands the podium to someone else rather than say the word "ID" out loud. Lindsey Graham gets filmed taking assignments from Netanyahu on the ICC prosecutor and immediately suggests Speaker Johnson put his name on it instead. Japan gets a bailout that we're not calling a bailout. A naked man survives a jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and gets arrested for it, which is no way to treat a hero. Democratic donors close the checkbook. Massie, MTG, Tucker, and Joe Kent take a photo together and Rob pitches the Turtle Party. And Deborah Birx goes on MSNBC to walk the fence on Fauci while the host begs her to say he's a saint.Extended episode and travel gripes at RobBernsteinComedy.com. Porch Tour dates at PorchTour.com.
Transcribe →Fauci: The Lord Of Science loves the Fifth
3w ago00:44:02Tap to summarizewww.porchtour.com for live dates. Episode starts with the latest from Iran and Trump grifting. Then we move onto the Fauci hearing and how the Dems want us to move forward, the republicans who got Fauci to repeatedly plead the fifth and how the Fauci Enablers in the media are spinning it.Sponsored by:www.Sheath.com Promocode:RYMLonger episode with more content at RobBernsteinComedy.com for $5 to sub. If you want to check it out I accidentally did the first few minutes of paywalled episode publicly on my site which starts of with a conversation about being a hippy on your own time and Female Leg Spreaders.
Transcribe →America Should Go Full Turtle
3w ago00:22:48Tap to summarizeAudio only Short episode from the porches of Sandpoint Idaho. Back in studio next week wednesday. Covering the Stomach Bug, a political party of podcasters, The Saudia Arabia nuclear deal and the latest from Iran. www.porchtour.com for live dates. I recorded this yesterday. I have video but can't upload it from the road.
Transcribe →A Gram Of War
Jul 1601:00:36Tap to summarizeEpisode kicks of with parody news intro. Not our classiest. Then we've got more on the Gram Man's passing. We move onto if taco bell is causing this nations loose stools. I know I sat on one. Then we've got how Tarrif's are getting in the way of your kids ability to play boring board games and why that might actually keep them from becoming patsies in murder trials. Get your porch tickets: www.porchtour.comHave your porch porched: TheFireTix.comwear my merch on your porch: RobBernsteinMerch.comSit on your porch and watch my extended extremely premium episode: www.RobBernsteinComedy.comWear Sheath On A porch: Sheath.com promocode: RYM
Transcribe →The Iran War 720
Jul 900:30:22Tap to summarizeRob breaks down Trump's full 720 back to war with Iran, the Taylor Swift wedding money-laundering theory, a cracked support beam in the old Pfizer building, and a sales-tactics analysis of why Trump's closing moves are finally failing him. Plus Patriot missiles to Ukraine, a Tyler Robinson trial check-in, and the sketchy US-Israel military arrangement.Shorter mid-week drop. See Rob in Galveston Sunday — full dates at RobBernsteinComedy.comSponsor: Sheath Underwear — code RYM for 20% off.Bonus content on RobBernstein.com — $5/mo.
Transcribe →Trump's Reading Material & The Four Levels of Evil
Jul 601:01:54Tap to summarizeCold open News intro, then a long weekend recap — gas station idiocy, the roadside sandwich, and why every pool has become a strip club. Into the meat: the MKUltra congressional hearing, the CIA's refusal to be investigated, and a full breakdown of the Four Levels of Evil framework. Then Trump's financial corruption — the 600 tariff trades, the memecoin scheme that fleeced his own fans, the UAE's $250M "investment," and Trump's on-camera defense that his family can't help insider trading because the presidency is just too powerful. Closing with Trump storytime and Marco Rubio pitching a biometric face-scan passport process because that won't go anywhere bad.
Transcribe →Will The Supreme Court Rule Against Stomach Parasites
Jul 201:09:13Tap to summarizeBack from the Porch and straight into the nightmare — a Newport storyteller show for liberals, a month-long dealership hostage situation, and the hotel industry's war on your dignity. Then we get into it: the Supreme Court dumped a pile of end-of-term rulings all at once, so we break down birthright citizenship in Trump v. Barbara (and why "it's not the baby's fault" is secretly an argument for total socialism), the Monsanto failure-to-warn case and the corporate immunity loop it creates, plus the campaign finance, trans sports, and presidential removal-power decisions. Also: a life-saving PSA about the summer diarrhea parasite, France blaming America for its own heat wave, Trump's billion-dollar crypto year, the incredible shrinking Iran MOU, and a Twitter Clip Theater closer featuring an MK Ultra hearing, Thomas Massie turning the tables on a Fox reporter, Pam Bondi refusing to admit Coca-Cola isn't nutritious, and the great 350-foot reflecting pool gash mystery.PORCHTOUR.com - upcoming showsRobbernsteinmerch.com - Tees and stuffwww.robbernsteincomedy.com - support the show and watch the extended showSPONSORS:Sheath.com (Promocde: RYM)
Transcribe →The Fauci Reckoning
Jun 2400:52:14Tap to summarizeTopics in order:- In defense of porch people- Lady who stole a garbage can - Trump's botched pool job or vandalism- Are you getting charged more then other people for goods online?- Tulsi Gabbard/ Fauci- Iran war coverage ============Www.porchtour.com Thefiretix.com - sub a porchwww.robbernsteincomedy.com - support the showSheath.com (Promocode:RYM)
Transcribe →Memorandum of What Is This?
Jun 1801:05:48Tap to summarizeThe war's over — or there's a "memorandum of understanding," which apparently lets you end a war without resolving anything and still get celebrated for it. First, the nonsense: employees who just stare at you, Delta's baggage-claim betrayal in Minnesota, and Seamless getting officially condemned. Then UFC at the White House, the Iran deal read line by line, Gabbard's Ukraine bio lab receipts, censorship in England, my theory of society, and whether Jim Jordan will ever turn the criminal-informant question back on the FBI.Porches at: www.porchtour.comSubmit a porch: TheFireTix.comMerch at: Robbernsteinmerch.comSPONSORS:Sheath.com (Promocode: RYM)Yokratom.comhttps://jeffkellick.substack.com/s/consequential-actions-podcasthttps://drewbuilders.com/https://www.amazon.com/Survival-Over-Service-Institutions-Manufacture/dp/B0GSS21QQM
Transcribe →DOUBLE BRIDGE & TUNNEL DAY | Trump's War Goes In A Circle
Jun 1000:53:04Tap to summarizeThe show's back after a week off, and the host has come to terms with the fact that being productive on weekends is what kills the podcast — so it's back to living like a slob for the good of the audience. Quick update on the move off StreamYard to all-OBS, a Porch Tour recap from Detroit where the crowd turned out to personally know half the Whitmer kidnapping plotters, and then the real story: the Iran war has looped all the way back to "Bridge and Tunnel Day," a ceasefire so durable that both sides keep bombing each other through it.From there: Trump's pitch to rename the country "Trump USA" until he's out of office, a libertarian argument for letting people review medications like movies on Rotten Tomatoes, the quietly walked-back tariffs on tractors and steel, the FBI's business of manufacturing domestic terror plots, and Todd Blanche insisting there's no immunity clause for Trump and his sons while a congresswoman reads him the immunity clause.www.porchtour.com - Live DatesRobBernsteincomedy.com - Support the showRobBernsteinMerch.com - Get MerchTheFireTix.com - Submit a porch (I HAVE TO MANY LINKS)SPONSORS:Sheath.com (Promocode RYM)Yokratom.com
Transcribe →