Savage Lovecast – After Action Report #24

Date: April 10, 2026
Host: Dan Savage
Guest: Marie

Overview

This episode of the Savage Lovecast “After Action Report” features Dan Savage in conversation with Marie, a retired businesswoman, polyamorous wife, and first-time foot fetish model. Marie shares the story of her debut, one-time sex work experience: providing her feet for a paid fetish photography session at a kink conference. The episode delivers practical advice on negotiating and vetting such opportunities, plus a candid, curious exploration of kink subcultures.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Marie’s Background and Polyamorous Life

• Marie introduces herself as a married, openly poly woman in her mid-50s, living in a Mid-Atlantic city, with both a boyfriend and a girlfriend in addition to her husband.

  • “I have a busy life partly because I’m actually retired…so now I have the time to pursue relationships with people.” (01:41)

• Polyamory Origin Story:

  • Marie and her husband started open: “We met through the bi community...not necessarily that more bi people are poly, but I think there’s more awareness among bisexual people that not one person can unlock all your keys.” (02:21)
  • The relationship has evolved: “It’s not a linear tale of, like, poly bliss from day one…it took a long time to take the form it’s in now.” (02:51)

Venturing into Sex Work: The Foot Fetish Photo Session

• How the Gig Originated:

  • Marie attended a Midwest BDSM/kink conference alone, and because she had RSVP’d for the event on FetLife, she was approached online by a local foot fetishist and photographer.
    • “I have one photo on my FetLife that…shows my feet. He’s like, ‘I saw your feet in that one photo, and they look really good, and I would love to photograph your feet, and I will pay you.’” (05:01)

• Vetting and Negotiating the Job:

  • Marie requested references and did independent verification, citing sex worker best practices.
    • “I need some references. I know a lot, even though I’d never done any form of sex work, I do actually know a lot about what sex workers do to ensure their safety.” (05:52)
  • The photographer suggested Marie could have someone else present during the session for comfort—helping her feel safe.
    • “That alone made me feel really safe. I was like, okay...He’s suggesting that if I wanted to have…people can be in the room…” (07:22)

• Fee Negotiation:

  • Original offer was $100 for an hour. Marie, accounting for the cost of a pedicure (her “bougie” prep), negotiated up to $150.
    • “‘I will do it, but I need $150, because making $40 off an hour didn’t sound that great to me. But $90 did after paying for the pedicure.’” (08:48)

• Meeting and Establishing Trust:

  • They met in a hotel coffee shop first; money exchanged began with a Venmo deposit before going up to the hotel room.
    • “You’re showing me good faith by venmoing me before I even invite you to my room. I will show you good faith. You can give me the balance after the shoot.” (10:52)

The Photo Shoot Itself (11:24)

• Session Details:

  • The photographer had specific “foot poses” (splayed, thumbs-up, curled), rotating through various scenarios: lying on bed, sides, on a coffee table, feet in the air, etc.
  • Marie recounts her nervousness about minor foot injuries before the shoot but the photographer “was in love with [her] feet.”
    • “He keeps on saying, like, catching himself and being like, oh my God, as he looks at my feet. And I’m like, they’re feet, you know...I’m glad you’re into them, but they’re feet, right?” (13:03)

• Origin of the Photographer’s Fetish:

  • He links his foot fetish—and specific attraction to middle-aged women’s feet, not 25-year-olds—to caring for his mother.
  • “She would come home from that second job so exhausted and she would ask him to rub her feet…” (13:46)
  • “He specifically likes middle-aged women’s feet…he wanted the wrinkles, he wanted the discoloration, he wanted the bunions.” (14:01)
  • Dan quips: “He’s very oedipal, this like aging Dr. Freud.” (14:14)

• Marie’s Reflections on the Experience:

  • She found the shoot surprisingly pleasant and would do it again: “100%, I would, actually.” (15:12)
  • Asked about a broader foot fetish community, the photographer described other foot guys as “really gross” and less respectful, highlighting his professionalism.

Aftermath and Final Thoughts

• Did Marie Get the Photos?

  • Yes, after persistence, and she was fascinated to see the bottoms of her own feet for the first time.
    • “It was really interesting because I never see the bottom of my feet...Now I know what they look like.” (16:44)

• What Does the Photographer Do With the Photos?

  • Unknown, and ultimately none of Marie’s concern—she provided the service, was paid for it.
    • “He paid me for a service and I provided it. You know, I mean, he could do whatever he wants with them.” (17:31)

• Dan’s Takeaways:

  • Dan praises Marie for her business skills, safety protocol, and advocates listeners follow her example if considering similar opportunities.
    • “Thank you so much for coming on the show...for really demonstrating for people out there who might be tempted if they got a similar offer about how to go about it. Best practices, ask for reference. Check those references, meet in public and your hardcore businesswoman negotiating skills. Well done.” (17:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Humans are involved and humans are messy.” – Marie (03:06)
• “I often say that my biggest kink is my partner’s kink... I’m into whatever you’re into, because I’m interested in the spectrum of human sexuality.” – Marie (06:14)
• “I became a, a one time, one off foot sex worker. But you didn’t become an ongoing foot sex worker pimp. You didn’t traffic other women's feet to this man.” – Dan Savage (07:12)
• “He keeps on saying, like, catching himself and being like, ‘oh my God’, as he looks at my feet. And I’m like, they’re feet...I’m glad you’re into them, but they’re feet, right?” – Marie (13:03)
• “He specifically likes middle-aged women’s feet…He wanted the wrinkles, he wanted the discoloration, he wanted the bunions.” – Marie (14:01)
• “He’s very oedipal…this aging Dr. Freud.” – Dan (14:14)
• “He paid me for a service and I provided it…he could do whatever he wants with them.” – Marie (17:31)

Key Timestamps

• 01:19 – Marie introduces herself (polyamorous, retired, background)
• 02:21 – Origin of polyamory in Marie’s relationship
• 03:18 – Introduction to her first sex work/foot fetish experience
• 05:01 – How she was approached for a foot fetish photography session
• 05:52 – Marie on sex worker safety and best practices
• 08:48 – Money negotiation & business mindset
• 10:52 – Establishing trust & logistics for meeting
• 11:24 – The photo session: foot poses, photographer’s methodology
• 13:46 – The photographer’s backstory: roots of his fetish
• 15:12 – Marie says she would do foot modeling again
• 16:44 – Marie receives the photos, personal reflections
• 17:31 – Marie on what the photographer does with the images
• 17:40 – Dan recaps best practices and thanks Marie

Tone and Atmosphere

Candid, witty, and practical. Both Marie and Dan approach the topic of sex work, kink, and personal boundaries with warmth, humor, and a sense of mutual respect—Marie’s business acumen and curiosity shine, while Dan is supportive and playful in his commentary.

For New Listeners

This episode delivers an honest, instructive glimpse into adult kink subcultures and the realities of small-scale sex work, emphasizing safety, consent, negotiation, and the importance of honoring one’s boundaries—all wrapped in Savage Lovecast’s mix of sharp humor and lived insight.