Spring (2:24)

Well, there was a play party that was having a religious theme and so we wanted to do something fun at the party. So it was Nyx's idea, actually. So, Nyx, how did you come up with the idea?

Nyx (2:39)

Oh, boy. Well, let's call it like Sexy Mythbusters. I heard Rumor that this thing called soaking exists. And maybe you've heard of it, maybe you haven't. But apparently Mormons practice soaking, which is the art of premarital sex. But apparently if you do it a certain way, you. It's not a sin and you don't get in trouble. And we can tell you everything we've learned about soaking.

Dan Savage (3:06)

Well, please, please, for listeners out there who aren't familiar with the concept, the practice, the urban legend, or the reality that is soaking. What is soaking?

Nyx (3:15)

So apparently, if you don't thrust, then it's okay. And so that also is this beautiful communal aspect because it relies on asking your friends to help you have good sex because you can't do the actual thrusting. So you ask friends to either jump on the mattress, or in our case, we found out that actually having them hold the mattress is the way to go.

Dan Savage (3:41)

So it's you penetrate someone, you don't thrust, therefore it's not intercourse, even though your penis is in someone's vagina. And there's a group sex component because you have to have volunteers jumping on the bed so that if there is back and forth, it's unintentional. It's just physics.

Spring (4:03)

Yeah. And then you don't go to hell.

Dan Savage (4:07)

My God, this reminds me of all those kids out there who got abstinence education in the 2000s who were told that they shouldn't have sex until marriage, but also told that only vaginal intercourse is sex. And so he had all these teenagers having anal sex claiming that they were virgins still because they only had anal, which would mean my husband is a virgin still because he's never had vaginal intercourse, so he can totally wear white when we renew our wedding vows at our 50th anniversary. All right, so you wanted to do soaking at your religion themed sex party. I assume it was mostly people dressed as nuns and priests, Not a lot of people dressed as Muhammad or Buddha.

Nyx (4:51)

It wasn't actually one that I had hosted, but we went to one and there was sexy Jesus. I mean, Jesus is, I guess, pretty sexy already. You know, you've got like the loincloth

Dan Savage (5:03)

and the abs, the 10 pack Sexy

Nyx (5:06)

Jesus, nuns, naughty priests and soaking.

Dan Savage (5:10)

Okay, so set the scene. You obviously had to enlist co conspirators. You had to have help. How did you roll this out when you went in there and you're like, hey, sexy priests, sexy nuns, sexy Jesus. We want to try this sexy Mormon thing we've heard about or we've watched on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. I haven't Seen every episode. Maybe they did a soaking episode. How did you get the help that you needed?

Spring (5:35)

So we got to the party and we started walking around. We started with people that Sprix has hooked up with before. So we started with people that we thought would want to help us. And then we just kept walking around, recruiting as many people as were interested in supporting the scene. And we had a total of eight. They all happened to be men who

Nyx (6:01)

wanted to be part of this.

Spring (6:03)

And we had eight men that we recruited. And so then they kind of surrounded the mattress we had. So we ended up with two men on each side of the mattress.

Nyx (6:13)

We also drew a huge crowd, so it felt like more than just eight people. It felt like a very, very big group.

Dan Savage (6:20)

Okay, so who was the Mormon young man and who was the Mormon young lady? Who was the penetrator and who was the penetratee? Who got to soak? Cause the man is soaking his penis in the woman's vagina, but not thrusting. So who was the soaker and who was the soakee?

Spring (6:40)

We do like to take turn with this, but in this instance, Nick was the soaker. So she had. We have one of those strapless strap ons. So it was like the egg shaped end was held inside of Nyx, and then the phallus shaped end was inside of me. And we laid the very still side by side.

Dan Savage (7:02)

Somebody on top.

Nyx (7:03)

I was on top. And then I just laid still. And then it was up to the crowd, really.

Dan Savage (7:08)

So what did the crowd do? So how did it happen? I mean, the minute you were penetrating spring, Nyx, the minute the valis was in spring, you had achieved soaking, but you wanted to achieve. It sounds like the hypocritical kind of soaking where basically you're fucking you, but you needed people to move the mattress for you so that there would be thrusting without intent, without sin. And so how did they move the mattress? You said that in some soaking scenes, people jump on the mattress and they pick them up and move the mattress. How did your co conspirators help you achieve liftoff or thrust off?

Nyx (7:48)

So it took a couple of tries. We didn't get this in one go. We had a lot of activity in spurts because they got tired, obviously, but first they kind of just lifted the mattress and started shaking it. But as time went on, their efforts became more coordinated and they worked as a team. And meanwhile, I actually had to hold on to spring for dear life. It was terrifying. It felt like being on a roller coaster. We also had. I thought that we would be Kissing. But actually, I just had to put my head to the side of hers because our skulls probably would have rattled.

Dan Savage (8:29)

You would. Knocked each other's teeth out if you'd tried to kiss while people were throwing the mattress up and down.

Spring (8:34)

Yeah, they actually got so into it, and they were, like, really trying to achieve a thrusting motion, so they were watching what was happening, and then they were kind of making it go in a wave so that it was achieving more of a thrust, and they were, like, counting, and they were, like, getting a rhythm going, and it was very impressive. And, yes, like Nick said, it was like a sex roller coaster and at times, slightly terrifying. And we were each holding onto each

Nyx (9:01)

other for dear life. We were really holding on.

Dan Savage (9:06)

Okay, I can see your faces, listeners. Can't see your faces. You're both thinking about this. The memory is making you laugh and kind of lose it, which makes me think. It wasn't hot. Was it hot, or was it just, like, nuts?

Nyx (9:22)

It was really hot. We both came.

Dan Savage (9:24)

Oh, my God.

Nyx (9:24)

They were going, yeah, okay.

Dan Savage (9:27)

Okay.

Spring (9:28)

It was so intense. I mean, it was hot because, first of all, everyone was supporting our sexual interaction. All of these people were, like, on a team, trying to help us have a great sexual interaction. There was no pleasure for them. It was just all about us, you know, and they were really putting in effort to, like, try to make this work for us. And that. I mean, that in itself was really hot. But also, yeah, I mean, she was thrusting into me, and it was actually so intense, it was almost too deep and too intense at times. But it was.

Nyx (10:07)

It was. It was really working and working for

Dan Savage (10:10)

you too, Nyx, because you were using one of those. Not a strap on. A strap in.

Nyx (10:16)

Yes, it was a strap in. And I think what was the most pleasurable was that neither Spring nor I had any idea what would happen next. I think usually when you're having sex, you're in control of your own body, and you know what sensations are coming. And this was just our. Both of our bodies just surrendering to the force of gravity and my entire body weight slamming into. I mean, I guess our G spots were both really, really stimulated.

Dan Savage (10:45)

Oh, my God. I. I admire your ability to be the center of attention, have this thing going on that may have felt silly on some level, and maintain the erotic tension, be able to become aroused and get off from it. I can't come if my boyfriend is looking at me. When we're having sex, we have lots of practice, but a room full of people.

Spring (11:11)

We have lots of practice of having sex. In a room full of people watching us.

Nyx (11:16)

I think one thing I really admire about spring, and I think a quality that makes our relationship work, is that we're both very comfortable being sexy in all of the different expressions of erotic energy. I think silliness is just another flavor to it. And I mean, let's be honest, Spring and I are hot. So indeed, it's almost extra hot knowing that we can be hot doing something silly. It adds to that exhibitionist aspect of, yeah, I'm gonna be silly, but all of you have boners.

Dan Savage (11:49)

It's funny that your after action report, the new thing you wanted to share. The minute you said sex party, I thought it was gonna be sex party. Cause for a lot of people who've called in it' they've gone to their first sex party. But this was not your first rodeo. This was something you tried at. How many sex parties have you hosted? How many have you been to?

Nyx (12:10)

Many.

Dan Savage (12:11)

Which just goes to show that there's always something new out there. Even for people who are very experienced, very sexually adventurous, there's always new potential peak experiences if you're creative enough and engaged enough.

Spring (12:25)

We try to have new sexual experiences very regularly.

Nyx (12:29)

We're always coming up with new things to try.

Dan Savage (12:32)

So any advice for people out there who haven't been to their first sex party yet from a couple of sex party vets.

Nyx (12:39)

Try soaking. It's a great way to make friends.

Dan Savage (12:45)

Soaking. It really takes a community. It takes a village.

Nyx (12:48)

Yeah. Other advice for sex party newbies. I think that once you break out of the expectation that sex has to look one and you open yourself up to connections and sexy moments of different shapes and sizes. I mean, we were basically having a sexual moment with everybody in the room. And when we came and everybody applauded, I mean, that was just maximum orgy energy.

Dan Savage (13:16)

Which is not to say sex parties are for everyone. Or people who a sex party wouldn't be there, seen, are sexually repressed or broken somehow. Like there's a kind of. I think there's something hardwired in the human experience about a certain number of us having a taste for public sex. Because all sex was public until the split level ranch house in the suburbs came along. We had sex in caves, we had sex in fields, we had sex in trees. And we were observed. And it would make evolutionary sense and provide an evolutionary advantage if the observing was arousing as opposed to a buzzkill. Because if being observed, having sex was a buzzkill, we probably would have gone extinct 500,000 years ago. Because there was no privacy 500,000 years ago. But still, sex parties aren't for everyone. And we don't want to make listeners who are like, ah, not for me feel like they're broken.

Spring (14:13)

And also there's a number of ways to participate at a sex party. I mean, you can go and just, you know, have a goal of talking to some new people meeting or to, if you're going with someone, to just like make out with them in front of other people. Or maybe you want to watch things, right? So I think thinking about like some realistic, easy, tiny little goals to like help yourself feel successful at a party or like, maybe I'm gonna offer a massage to someone or something like that. You know, there's lots of ways to be involved at a party and to have a really good time.

Dan Savage (14:48)

How long have you guys been together?

Nyx (14:50)

Just under a year, I would say. But we have had many, many adv that time. I think anytime one of us has a new idea, we'll go and do it. I mean, what's next? We're hosting sexy dance parties, we go to the movies and we'll have vibrators and remote controls for each other just to mess with each other.

Spring (15:15)

I just wanted to add one more thing from the soaking scene that I didn't expect, that I felt like was really beautiful was when the scene was finished, all of the men who had been assisting were like high fiving each other and congratulating each other. And like, it was like they had created a real team bond like through this experience. And that was really beautiful, like watching them all be like, yeah, we did it, we did it. We won the game. You know, that like, team aspect was really beautiful.

Dan Savage (15:53)

Well, they did really exert themselves from the sounds of things. They did, they did help build this thing. These two orgasms, they did, they were sweating.

Nyx (16:03)

It took a lot of effort. And part of what made it so hot was how much effort it took to know how dedicated they were to our pleasure.

Dan Savage (16:11)

Bring and Nyx or Sprix, hosts of sex parties and first time soakers and a very successful first time soaking. I have to say, if you both climaxed with the assistance of all these dudes. Nyx, Spring, thank you so much for coming on the show.

Spring (16:28)

Thank you.

Nyx (16:28)

Thanks for having us.

Dan Savage (16:30)

Thank you, Spring. Thank you, Nick's and thank you, dear listeners, for listening. If you had a novel sexual experience, if you tried something new and you want to tell us all about it, write it up and send it to Qavage Love, we'll have a new after action report for you right here next

Nyx (16:46)

week

Spring (16:48)

after Action Report.

Dan Savage (16:52)

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