After Action Report #33

Summary

Savage Lovecast – After Action Report #33 (June 12, 2026)

Episode Summary

Main Theme:
Dan Savage welcomes Hazel, a listener, to share her unexpected and adventurous erotic massage experience in Peru. The conversation explores sexual exploration, boundaries, risk-taking, and sex work legality, with Savage both celebrating Hazel’s story and reflecting on issues of safety and societal perceptions around women’s sexual adventures.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Meet Hazel – Setting the Scene

• Timestamp: 00:11–00:57
  • Hazel is in her late 20s, works as a compounding pharmacy technician in the Pacific Northwest, and is queer and artistic.
  • Dan expresses fascination with her unique profession, learning about the role of a compounding technician.
  • Memorable moment:
    Hazel: “We make scream cream. We make rectal rockets. We do all the fun stuff.” [01:26]

2. The Adventure Begins: The Peruvian Erotic Massage

• Timestamp: 01:35–03:55
  • Hazel recounts suffering from altitude sickness in Cusco, Peru, and impulsively seeking a massage through Google.
  • The massage parlor’s menu included everything from sports massage to yoni massage, leading Hazel to book a sensual massage.
  • She describes being a bit apprehensive about safety but felt reassured by glowing online reviews.
  • The masseur was “very handsome,” which Hazel notes with enthusiasm.

3. Consent, Boundaries, and Atmosphere

• Timestamp: 03:55–05:23
  • The masseur set clear boundaries: Hazel was “in complete control” and could stop the session at any time.
  • He offered Hazel some weed (“Definitely taking some fences here. I’m putting my fate in the universe right now.” [03:57]).
  • Hazel describes the initial part of the massage as standard, noting the masseur’s skillful hands.

4. Erotic Massage Details and Female Pleasure

• Timestamp: 05:23–07:11
  • The session subtly shifted to erotic touch—a slow, skillful, non-penetrative stimulation that led Hazel to orgasm.
  • Dan comments on the widespread lack of knowledge among men about how to touch women for pleasure.
    • Dan: “I know how to touch a woman just from book learning...Yet so many straight guys get all the way to married to a woman for 20 years and somehow don’t know that.” [05:56]
  • Hazel agrees, highlighting the difference between rough, clumsy touch and truly pleasurable, attentive touch.

5. The Experience: Consent, Arousal, and Safety

• Timestamp: 07:11–08:33
  • The masseur’s attentiveness included reading Hazel’s reactions and arousal; his own arousal was visible and contributed positively to Hazel’s experience.
  • Hazel: “He was masterful…It was like we were kind of in sync at the same time. And he was also aroused, too, which definitely helped with my arousal.” [07:28]
  • Dan probes: Did his arousal bother Hazel or make things unsafe? Hazel responds that it made her feel more in sync, not at all unsafe.

6. Cost, Tipping, and Social Aftermath

• Timestamp: 08:33–09:56
  • Hazel had two orgasms in the session.
  • Massage cost: 70 Soles (≈$40 USD); Hazel tipped 120% (“He gave such a great…west will cost you like a mortgage payment.” [09:05])
  • She declined a dinner date with the masseur but they remain in contact via social media.
  • Hazel has recommended him to friends and wrote a glowing Google review.

7. Risk, Adventure, and Perceptions

• Timestamp: 09:56–12:51
  • Dan reflects on social anxieties and confirmation bias: we hear cautionary tales about women taking sexual risks, not the positive ones.
    • Dan: “We don’t hear the good news about the woman who had an adventure sexually abroad and trusted the guy...and she had a great experience. We don’t hear stories like yours. We hear the disasters.” [11:00]
  • He asks Hazel if she would do it again or recommend it.
    • Hazel: “I would 100% do it again. It also helps just to be a little bit crazy on my end.” [12:03]
  • Hazel recommends the specific masseur, but not necessarily the same risk-taking approach for everyone.

8. Comparing to U.S. Sex Work and Availability

• Timestamp: 12:51–14:00
  • Hazel hasn’t found or tried a similar experience in the U.S., partially because sex work is legal in Peru and the U.S. market seems aimed at men.
  • Dan and Hazel lament the lack of similar “rub and rub” options for women in America.
    • Hazel: “If any ladies out there know a place in the US, let me know.” [13:53]

9. Conclusion: Travel, Hedonism, and Humanity

• Timestamp: 14:00–14:20
  • Dan thanks Hazel, expressing that even knowing the story’s happy ending, he was “on the edge of [his] seat.”
  • Hazel reflects on how the experience makes her feel “all fuzzy thinking about it.”

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Hazel: “We make scream cream. We make rectal rockets. We do all the fun stuff.” [01:26]
• Dan: “I know how to touch a woman just from book learning...And I’m a faggot. I slept with a woman with my eyes sealed shut when I was 15 and not again since. And I know all that. And yet so many straight guys...don’t know how to touch a woman.” [05:56]
• Hazel: “He was masterful. He was reading my body, he was reading my breathing. It was like we were kind of in sync… And he was also aroused, too, which definitely helped with my arousal.” [07:28]
• Hazel: “I would 100% do it again. It also helps just to be a little bit crazy on my end.” [12:03]
• Dan: “We don’t hear the good news about the woman who had an adventure sexually abroad and trusted the guy... We hear the disasters. And so we think anybody who would, like, walk down a dark alley to meet a strange man who’s gonna touch her vulva is gonna wind up in landfills somewhere. And that’s not true. It’s just confirmation bias.” [11:00]
• Hazel (humorous meta-comment): “If any ladies out there know a place in the US, let me know.” [13:53]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro & Hazel’s Background: 00:11–01:26
• Massage Parlor Experience Begins: 01:35–03:55
• Consent & Boundaries: 03:55–05:23
• Details of Erotic Massage & Female Pleasure: 05:23–07:11
• Experience & Safety: 07:11–08:33
• Cost & Aftermath: 08:33–09:56
• Risk & Social Attitudes: 09:56–12:51
• Comparison to U.S. & Lack of Women-Focused Options: 12:51–14:00
• Conclusion: 14:00–14:20

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Summary Tone & Style

• Conversational, celebratory of sexual risk-taking when consent and care are present.
• Self-aware of the inherent risks and perceptual biases around women’s sexual adventures.
• Blunt, inquisitive, and sex-positive, true to Dan Savage’s trademark tone.

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For listeners who missed the episode:
You’ll hear an authentic, nuanced conversation unpacking a real-life erotic adventure, the importance of touch, risk, and consent, and why positive stories around sexual exploration—especially for women—are still too rare in popular discourse. The episode offers reassuring, realistic, and often humorous reflections on negotiating pleasure and safety in unfamiliar places, complete with practical talk on legality, tipping, and even where to find (or not find) similar experiences in the U.S.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to After Action Report at Savage Lo. After Action Report.

[B]

Welcome to After Action Report, where I am continually shocked by the horniness, courage, and adventurousness of my listeners. Meet Hazel, who had an unexpected sexual adventure in Peru. Hey, Hazel. Welcome to the show. Hi.

[A]

How's it going, Dan?

[B]

It's going really great. Day's gotten even better now that you're here, and I get to hang with you for a little bit. So before we get to what you did, the new thing you tried that you wanted to talk with us about, tell us a little bit about who you are.

[A]

Yeah, definitely. Well, I'm in my late 20s. I work as a compounding technician at a pharmacy. I like to make art. I live in the Pacific Northwest. I'm queer. And, yeah, I think that's all you guys need to know for now.

[B]

Okay, that's enough. That's a lot. A compounding technician at a pharmacy. So you build drugs?

[A]

I do build drugs, yeah. I build customized and personalized medications for people, which feels like an important job.

[B]

It is an important job. Thank you for what you do. Just no one. No one's ever. I've never heard that gig before. I've never quite. I knew about pharmacists. I knew there were people out there who put drugs together, but I didn't know a compounding pharmacist was a thing. But now I know it.

[A]

We make scream cream. We make rectal rockets. We do all the fun stuff.

[B]

Oh, my God. Are you here to tell us about a rectal rocket? What's the new thing you tried?

[A]

So I went to a. I guess you would call it a woman's massage parlor.

[B]

Where women give massages or where women are massaged.

[A]

Where women are massaged.

[B]

Does such a place exist? It's like lesbian sex club. When lesbians tell me they want something like Lab in Berlin or a lesbian bathhouse, I'm like, I've heard rumors about them. A massage parlor where women are massaged. I've heard rumors about them, but I've never actually spoken to anyone who's been to one. I am speaking to that unicorn now. You have been.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was down in Peru. I was there a couple of months ago, and I was dealing with some severe altitude sickness in Cusco. Live at sea level, and this place is, like, 1100ft above sea level. And I had just gotten done from, like, a massive hike. I was exhausted. I was just scrolling on my phone like, you know what? Massage sounds pretty freaking good right now. But I didn't plan at All So I was just like, oh, okay, so what place is available now?

[B]

So that seems so brave. I had altitude sickness and I was in Peru. I don't think I would self medicate with an erotic massage. And if I was a woman, I might feel a little, I don't know, concerned about finding a massage parlor for women just on my phone.

[A]

Well, going into it, I wasn't expecting it to be an erotic massage. I was on his website, looking at the menu, I guess you would say, and he had things such as, you know, like sports massages and he had a mushroom experience massage. As long as like a sensual massage and then a yoni massage. I booked a 90 minute sensual massage. So I went to the place, it was off the street, kind of a little, A little ghetto. So going into it, I was like, oh, I don't know, is he like. I don't know what to expect. Honestly, I had no idea who this person was. But the reviews on Google seemed to be like, they were all five star reviews, like glowing. So I was like, okay, there has to be something to this. Taking a chance. Yeah, you know, I went into the place. The, the man, he greeted me very handsome. Very handsome.

[B]

Jackpot.

[A]

Yeah, definitely lucked out. He sat me down. We kind of talked about like boundaries and everything. He offered me some weed, which I smoked. Definitely taking some fences here. I'm putting my, like my fate in the universe right now.

[B]

All right, so to review, you randomly find a massage provider online, you go down a dark alley. His first move, after asking you what kind of massage you want is to offer you drugs and you don't run screaming.

[A]

I don't run screaming. He seems very nice. So we sat down and we talked about some boundaries and everything. And he told me I'm in complete control. If anything makes me feel uncomfortable, he will stop immediately and then just continue to a regular massage, I guess. So he went to the other room, I got undressed, got onto the table, and he played some music and started rubbing me down. Very strong hands, Very strong hands. And the massage, like the quote unquote, regular massage, probably went on for about an hour until he started to move down to my, to my butt. And he started to massage my butt and then around my anus.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

Okay. He flipped me over and started massaging my breasts as well as my vulva. He didn't actually insert any fingers into my vulva, but just massaging around it was almost enough to kind of get me there because his touch was just. He knew how to touch a woman. Not too firm, but not too soft. And all the oil was really doing it for me. And just like I am constantly surprised

[B]

by the number of straight guys out there who do not know how to touch a woman, because I know how to touch a woman just from book learning that the clitoris is not a joy buzzer at the top of the vaginal canal, that it's external, that massaging the area and the labia can provide stimulation sort of peripherally in an erotic way to the clitoris without direct clitoral stimulation, without having to touch the head. And of course, that kind of pressure on the vulva and the labia. And right in that area, you're stimulating the internal aspects of the clitoris, the erectile tissues that are buried under skin and muscle. I know all that. And I'm a faggot. I had. I slept with a woman with my eyes sealed shut when I was 15 and not again since. And I know all that. And yet so many straight guys get all the way to married to a woman for 20 years and somehow don't know that. Don't know how to touch a woman.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And, I mean, it wasn't like anybody giving me carpet burn down there, you know? Okay, so did you get.

[B]

Did you climax? Did he make you come?

[A]

He did. He did. Without. No insertion, just pressure around the vulva, which works for me.

[B]

What was the buildup to that climax like? Were you riding that wave? Tell us about your arrival at my favorite destination, the point of orgasmic inevitability. Was there plateaus on the way? Was he sort of manipulating your arousal patterns to get you there?

[A]

He was masterful. He was reading my body, he was reading my breathing. It was like we were kind of in sync at the same time. And he was also aroused, too, which definitely helped with my arousal.

[B]

So he was aroused, too?

[C]

Yeah, he was.

[B]

And that didn't feel like a little. You know, this wasn't supposed to be about his pleasure. It was supposed to be about your pleasure. Did it throw you a little bit that he was turned on, or did it help turn you on that he was. He's not indifferent to the fact that he had his hands all around your vulva? Would you want your erotic masseuse to be aroused erotically by the erotic massage they are providing you? Did that make you feel unsafe at all, or did it just feel like you were more in sync with this guy?

[C]

It definitely helped turn me on for sure. I mean, you know, he was so handsome, so that helped. And it didn't make me Feel unsafe. I think he was really good at making the space just feel very comfortable and safe and that I was in control. Even though I just met this guy. He was very good at that.

[B]

So 1 orgasm? 2 orgasms?

[C]

2.

[B]

And what did it cost and how much did you tip as a percentage?

[C]

The whole massage costed 70 sole which is like maybe 40, 40 bucks American. And for me like I'm used to paying like exorbitant amounts for massages in America. And so I ended up tipping about, I think I tipped like 120% because I could afford it at the time. And so he, you know, he gave

[B]

such a great west will cost you like a mortgage payment.

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

I know. And this was like nothing to me.

[B]

And not include orgasms.

[C]

Yeah, not by a sexy Peruvian.

[B]

Okay. I've spoken to so many men over the years who've gone to massage parlors, gotten a happy ending massage. Some felt conflicted because they weren't sure if the woman who was working in this kind of sad and dreary place was happy to be there. Enjoyed the job. Sounds like you found a sole proprietor and this is his calling. He loves this job.

[C]

Yeah, and you could tell too he actually asked me out for dinner afterwards. I declined, I was so tired by the end of it. But we swapped socials so we're still in touch.

[B]

That has to be an enormous incentive to visit Peru again.

[C]

Oh my God. Yeah. If the plane ride wasn't so long,

[A]

I'd be there in a heartbeat.

[B]

Do you have any friends that you've recommended him to? Are there plane loads of women taking off from Pacific Northwest to visit this guy in Peru on your recommendation?

[C]

I definitely recommended him before if any of my friends are in Peru. And I wrote him a review on Google.

[B]

So another five star I hope.

[C]

Another five star.

[B]

Oh my God, this is. God. I don't know what to do with your story because on the one hand I'm really pro people stepping out that comfort zone, having an adventure, trusting the beneficence of the universe when it comes to something like this. On the other hand, a woman alone in a foreign city going down a non touristy street at night in the dark to be naked with a man who has an erection who offers her drugs. Like on paper it just sounds like it might not end well. Or confirmation bias if this had. You know, there may be women who've been done similar things where it didn't end well. And we heard about those circumstances. We don't hear the good news about the threesome that didn't end with a divorce. We don't hear the good news about the woman who had an adventure sexually abroad and trusted the guy that she was in the room with not to be a monster. And he was deserving of her trust, and she had a great experience. We don't hear stories like yours. We hear the disasters. And so we think anybody who would, like, walk down a dark alley to meet a strange man who's gonna touch her vulva is gonna wind up in landfills somewhere. And that's not true. It's just confirmation bias. It makes us, like, I was listening to the beginning of your story, getting really anxious for you, even though I know you survived and it was a good experience because you told us it was a good experience, and here you are surviving. And yet this is my preamble to ask if you would do this again and if you would advise other people who wanted to do this to do it.

[C]

I would 100% do it again. It also helps just to be a little bit crazy on my end.

[B]

And we're all landfill eventually.

[C]

So, yeah, I don't know if I would, like, recommend a woman doing exactly as I did, but I would recommend this man to any woman that I meet.

[B]

So you actually would recommend a woman do exactly what you do, go to this particular city in Peru, get in touch with this particular man and go get an erotic massage from him. Not just go to some strange city and look on your phone for male erotic massage artists who work with women, but to do exactly what you did, you would confidently recommend because you have recommended this guy to friends.

[C]

Yes, I hit the jackpot for sure.

[B]

You did. You did. So can I ask you, you live in the Pacific Northwest. You're down for the occasional erotic massage. Have you ever received one in the US from an American provider?

[C]

No, I haven't. Sex work is also legal in Peru. So I think that probably, you know, helps with a lot of, like, the. Like, the tape and everything, but I haven't received one here. I also haven't actively searched one out, but I feel like most of the massage parlors that I see are rubbing tugs. So it kind of.

[B]

I'm like, yeah, four dudes, hence the tugging.

[C]

Yeah, I was like, I've got no

[B]

tug, but all you got was rubbed. And it totally worked for you. Because often what I hear from, you know, I sometimes hear from women who are like, why aren't there rub and tug places? Or just rub and rub places for women here? And I've looked, and I can't find them. And I just find it so interesting that you were in this strange city and you looked and you instantly found.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, hey, if any ladies out there know a place the US Let me know.

[B]

All right, Hazel, thank you so much for coming on After Action Report. What a great and even though I know it all, it was like watching Hamlet where you know, like how it's going to end and you're still on the edge of your seat. I know the ending was good. It was a happy ending. And yet listening to your story, I was on the edge of my seat.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Thank you so much. I got really all fuzzy thinking about it.

[B]

Again, thanks so much, Hazel.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you, Hazel. Your story is a good reminder that travel is good for the soul and the home. If you have an adventure you would like to share, write about it, send it to us at Qavish Love and you might be our next guest here on After Action Report. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Load Boost by VB Health. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, the volume and the overall health of your semen. If you're already putting in the work, why not make your performance unforgettable? Made in the USA NSF certified and produced in an FDA registered facility. Thousands of guys across 50 states and 45 countries swear by loadboost. If you want bigger finishes and better reviews from your audiences. If you want better taste, better mouthfeel, go to loadboost.com today and use code savage for 10% off. Or click the link in this week's episode description. That's loadboost.com and use offer Code Savage.