How Jesus Touched My Mom

Summary

Saved Not Soft Podcast: How Jesus Touched My Mom

Episode Information

• Title: How Jesus Touched My Mom
• Host: Emmy Moore
• Guest: Lauren Ricks (Emmy's Mother)
• Release Date: June 10, 2025

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Introduction

In this deeply personal episode of Saved Not Soft, Emmy Moore welcomes her most significant guest yet—her mother, Lauren Ricks. This episode delves into Lauren's transformative journey with faith, her past struggles, and the profound impact of her relationship with Jesus on her family dynamics.

Notable Quote:
Emmy Moore: "This is probably the most important guest of my episode because not only is this a woman, but this is a woman who quite literally birthed me." (04:00)

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Lauren’s Early Life and Family Background

Lauren begins by sharing her upbringing, highlighting her close relationship with her father despite the absence of religious discussions at home. She recalls a pivotal moment in seventh grade when her father broke her spirit, leading to a hardened heart and strained relationships within the family.

Notable Quote:
Lauren Ricks: "I was always a go-getter, and I always wanted to be successful." (15:10)

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Early Adulthood and Marriage

At 18, Lauren married David, Emmy’s father. She describes their early years filled with financial struggles and the initial stages of their faith journey, which lacked consistency. Their marriage lasted ten years before they divorced, during which Lauren grappled with filling emotional voids and lacked a true relationship with Jesus.

Notable Quote:
Lauren Ricks: "My biggest regret in my life was leaving your dad, because I didn’t see the whole picture of what would happen to you and Avery and even to your dad." (21:10)

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Journey to Faith and Personal Transformation

Lauren narrates her spiritual awakening, which began quietly as she observed Emmy’s transformation. She shares how her relationship with Jesus brought profound changes, leading her to seek forgiveness and rebuild her relationship with her children. This section emphasizes the healing power of faith and forgiveness in overcoming past traumas.

Notable Quote:
Lauren Ricks: "I died to that person." (08:15)
Emmy Moore: "The only thing that will be within me is your spirit." (29:30)

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Emmy’s Transformation and Impact on Family

Emmy discusses her own spiritual journey and how witnessing her mother’s change reinforced her faith. She reflects on their evolving relationship, marked by mutual forgiveness and deeper understanding, demonstrating how personal faith can heal familial bonds.

Notable Quote:
Emmy Moore: "Everything of what you've said was just so good. I think one of the things... you just see that just manifesting in the physical life and spiritual life as well." (47:58)

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Overcoming Generational Curses and Embracing Change

Lauren shares her realization of breaking free from generational curses and the importance of prioritizing spiritual growth over material success. She highlights the significance of dying to the old self and embracing a new identity in Christ, which has positively influenced her roles as a mother, nurse, and wife.

Notable Quote:
Lauren Ricks: "The biggest takeaway is to die to the old self, love Jesus, know Jesus, talk to Jesus." (65:53)

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Practical Steps for Spiritual Growth and Family Harmony

The conversation shifts to practical advice on fostering present and meaningful relationships by minimizing distractions such as social media. Lauren emphasizes the importance of being actively involved in her children’s lives, modeling a life centered around faith, and encouraging open communication.

Notable Quote:
Lauren Ricks: "Social media is taking time away from the word of God for me." (59:20)

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Conclusion and Final Reflections

Emmy and Lauren wrap up the episode by reflecting on the incredible journey they've undertaken together. They express gratitude for the transformation they've experienced through faith and the enduring strength of their family bonds. The episode concludes with a heartfelt prayer and a commitment to continue supporting each other in their spiritual journeys.

Notable Quote:
Emmy Moore: "We pray you walk blessed and just know that the Lord loves you, sees you, hears you, and that He literally wants you in His arms forever and ever. Amen." (66:10)

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Key Takeaways

1. Faith as a Catalyst for Transformation: Lauren’s story underscores the transformative power of a genuine relationship with Jesus, illustrating how faith can heal deep-seated wounds and bring about profound personal growth.
2. Importance of Forgiveness: The episode highlights the necessity of forgiveness in mending broken relationships and moving forward with a renewed spirit.
3. Breaking Generational Curses: Lauren emphasizes the importance of recognizing and breaking free from generational patterns that hinder spiritual and emotional well-being.
4. Minimizing Distractions: Practical advice is given on reducing distractions like social media to foster more meaningful and present relationships.
5. Modeling for the Next Generation: Lauren’s dedication to being an active, present, and spiritually-centered parent serves as a powerful example for listeners striving to create harmonious family dynamics.

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Final Thoughts

How Jesus Touched My Mom is a poignant exploration of faith, redemption, and family. Through Lauren’s heartfelt testimonies and Emmy’s thoughtful guidance, listeners are offered a relatable and inspiring narrative on overcoming adversity and embracing a life filled with divine purpose and love.

Notable Quote:
Lauren Ricks: "Jesus wants us in relationship with Him, just like I wanted Emily to be close to me." (30:40)

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Emmy Moore]

She still had the Yoda. I can't wait to eat. I'm thinking about.

[Lauren Ricks]

Oh, I had oatmeal with two bananas and peanut butter.

[Emmy Moore]

I have leftover chicken. I wasn't able to grab chicken yesterday. No, I need more vegan butter.

[Lauren Ricks]

A.

[Emmy Moore]

But whole foods.

[Lauren Ricks]

I was going to ask you. I was looking at the ingredients yesterday for your protein.

[Emmy Moore]

The.

[Lauren Ricks]

It's only seven ingredients. Do you like your protein powder? Like, it tastes good.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, it tastes really good. I really.

[Lauren Ricks]

Because, you know, I've been eating whole foods only, but I. I'm not getting enough protein. I know I'm not. I'm.

[Emmy Moore]

You guys let me know when you're ready, okay? Okay. Sorry. Yeah, no, no, you're good. You could just start it. Okay. So usually, like how the flow works of it is that. Sorry, I'm just getting back to making sure. I'm going later to Pilates. Oh, they get back to me. So usually like how the flow of it works is like, I'll introduce. Hey, guys, welcome to the podcast. Say my name. The podcast. I'll introduce you. We could just like chit chat just a little bit and then we usually pray before.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah, I've seen a lot of your podcast.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. So then we'll pray and then get into it.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah, I watch her, she watches me.

[Emmy Moore]

And then I don't really. I'm. I'm really just like. Hold on. Thought. Yes. Okay. I really don't have like a set plan of specifically what to talk about, but just more like kind of more like testimony based and just like kind of. Yeah, I think it'll just flow.

[Lauren Ricks]

Really? Maybe even just like share where I've been the last couple years of my life.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, that's like literally going to be a lot of that. That conversation. So I think it's going to flow just really naturally.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yep, we're done.

[Emmy Moore]

Be right back. You guys are good to start. Where are you going? You need another water?

[Lauren Ricks]

Oh, also.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. Okay. Just in the pantry. You don't have to close it. You can keep it open. No one else is here, so it's not.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah, my mom's doing something. I know.

[Emmy Moore]

Was she down there when he came in?

[Lauren Ricks]

I kind of left her know I was here. She was taking a shower.

[Emmy Moore]

Okay, well, it's not even going. Wait, is it.

[Lauren Ricks]

Is it red?

[Emmy Moore]

Is it red? Oh, so it is recording. Caleb, is it recording?

[Lauren Ricks]

He said we could start.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Great. Amazing. I think I missed that. Okay, let me get my on and.

[Lauren Ricks]

I'm like, I hope my hair is okay.

[Emmy Moore]

No, it looks really good. Promise? I was like. My mind's not even, like, crazy curly. I'm like. I feel like it's all over the place.

[Lauren Ricks]

I never do mine, so I don't know why either, because I.

[Emmy Moore]

It's pretty when you do your hair.

[Lauren Ricks]

I had my hair done within 10 minutes. I don't know why. And I'd even wash it. I know the back's probably a mess by new.

[Emmy Moore]

No, it's really pretty.

[Lauren Ricks]

Well, thanks. Yeah, I'm like, I live in a bun.

[Emmy Moore]

If it's literally, like, 10 minutes, might as well. I feel like my hair has gotten healthier since I, like, keep it out more and less, like, tied up because I'm not, like, stripping it.

[Lauren Ricks]

Okay.

[Emmy Moore]

We could start.

[Lauren Ricks]

Okay.

[Emmy Moore]

Okay. Sorry. Let me, like, pop my joints. Ah, yes. Feels great. Okay. Hello. Hello, you guys, and welcome back to Saved. Not. So what's going on, everybody? Hope you guys are doing great, y' all, I'm so excited for today. If you already seen the title, if you already know what's going on, today is a very special episode to me and very close and dear to my heart. And y' all, I just know it's going to bless you tremendously. It is blessing me. And we'll get more into that later. This is safe, not soft. Hello, welcome. If this is your first time, I hope you come back. And if you don't, that's totally okay. This podcast is catered to let Christians know that they're heard, love, and seen by God, and that this is a path that's not necessarily big and wide, but it's narrow. And this is a podcast as a tool to help you navigate the walk of Christianity and what it means to be loved, heard, and seen by God. And my name is Emmy Moore, and I'm here, and we're gonna talk about Jesus and you guys, I have such a special guest, which, if you're a loyal listener, to Save Not Soft Podcast. You know that no one's just brought on here for no reason. This isn't super Hollywood, whatever it may be. It's like every person who has been on this podcast is for a complete divine reason. And I would argue to say that this is probably the most important guest out of my episode, because not only is this a woman, but this is a woman who quite literally birthed me. Which, if you're a visual. If you're visually seeing this, you probably think not. But who is with me today is the one and the only my mother, Lauren Ricks. Everybody clap your hands.

[Lauren Ricks]

Thank you for the great introduction.

[Emmy Moore]

My mom is here, which is crazy, because I feel like people. I feel like people know, like, you're my mom, but I feel like we've never, like, intentionally sat down, made an episode, done content, or anything like that because our relationship has always just been so off camera, which I feel like it should be, but it's, like, really sweet.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah, it was. I didn't tell you this before you asked me, but it was so strange. Not strange. It was more of a God thing. Because it was in my head that I was gonna do an episode with you. I was on a walk with Koda and I was like. Because I listened to you.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

And I knew you were gonna ask me, but I didn't know when. I'm like, emily's gonna be asking me to do an episode.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

And so I thought, well, I'll share that with her on the episode. So when you asked me, I actually was not surprised. I'm like, well, God already told me.

[Emmy Moore]

Like, he's like. He showed me.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah.

[Emmy Moore]

I think God, like, revealed it to me, like, a while back, but I didn't really know. And I was having a hard time, like, discerning the timing. But I just knew it was gonna be something that not only was it going to bless our relationship, but I think something like this. I don't even think I've seen a podcast where, like, a mom and a daughter have sat down. I think the closest I've seen to that is, like, Lisa Bevere and her, like, daughter in law. But that's not, like, her actual daughter. No, it's her daughter in law.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. But they're so close, and I watch them, too.

[Emmy Moore]

Oh, my gosh. I love their stuff. I think Lisa Bevere is just, like, a beast. She's great. Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

No, I just recently watched Home with Candace Cameron Bure and her daughter Natasha. Yeah, they had a whole season together, and that was really cool. But, yeah, I'm pretty much an open book, you know? You know how I am. I. I share with people that I know my story and my love for Jesus and things that have happened in my life. But yet, at the same time, like, I just feel like it's a.

[Emmy Moore]

Such.

[Lauren Ricks]

Such an intimate conversation. But here I do want to share and be as open as I can and just hope that I bless.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, I think that's actually something that I get from you mostly, is just being vulnerable, open, and honest. Like, you're a terrible liar and so am I. So we just, like, say how it is. I think that's like, where, like, our directness, I think, is, like, such a gift, and I think that's, like, a gift I've gotten from you is just being direct and truthful. This is not a theologian who quoted this. It was Khloe Kardashian. She said, a lie hurts a million times, but the truth only hurts once. And so that's just something that I keep in mind is like, you know, the truth might sting for a moment, but the truth is what sets you free. That's what Jesus preaches. And so I believe your story. What God has done in your life is, like, huge side eye to the camera, miraculous. Like, what God has done to you is, like, miraculous, you guys. And we're going to talk about that because, well, we'll pray if my mom's going to share and stuff. But, like, one thing I will say off the bat is that you're looking at a new creation of Lauren. Like, you're looking at a new her. If you've known my mom physically, in person, whatever it may be, is like her life has changed around in a way that I think old her wouldn't have even recognized.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. And I died to that person.

[Emmy Moore]

And something, too, is like, this is the most happiest I've ever seen you in your entire life. Like, you carry a joy that's, like, not even just evident to yourself, but to everybody around you. And it's real. It's not fake. It's like, I'm genuinely happy because the joy of the Lord is my strength, and he, like, resides in you, and you could see that. So I'm just really proud of you. I'm, like, completely crashed out that we're here because I'm like, this was something that I never imagined could happen. So the fact that, like, we're here doing this is, like, really sweet.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yep, I agree.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. Okay. So you guys, we're gonna pray and just open this conversation in this podcast with prayer, invite the Holy Spirit to just come and dwell with us. So I'll start off. Heavenly Father, we just thank you, God. God, I just thank you that you're so good and so prosperous and sovereign. Lord. Lord, we just thank you that we have the opportunity to sit down and share your goodness. God. That we just create a space to be in full gratitude and thankfulness of who you are. Lord. Lord, I just ask today we break any false expectations and any stereotypes and any ounce of doubt. Father. God. And that our relationship, Father, between my mother and I is going to speak to people's hearts here. Today, Father God, that the. The. The woman or the son who has been praying for their parents and doesn't see a breakthrough. Father God, God, I just ask that you come in and you demolish that belief system that God, you would do anything you could rend and turn anybody's heart, Lord. Lord, I just decree and declare in the mighty name of Jesus that you are. Children's hearts are heard and Lord, even to the mothers that are listening to this episode, Lord, I ask that they just empathize with my mother's voice. Father, that God, you have stored up my mom and my mom so much wisdom, so much joy, so much passion and zeal for you, Father God, I ask that you give her the confidence to speak. Father, I ask that her testimony is handled in wisdom and that everything she's wanting to share isn't out of pressure, but for the sake of helping others. God. And God, I just thank you for our relationship. I thank you for what you've done in our lives. I thank you for how much she has loved me and that God, I see a deeper depiction of who you are because of our relationship, Lord. So, Lord, give us the confidence and the wisdom to speak, to be in your goodness and to reside in your glory, Lord. So we thank you. We give and hand this podcast to you. It's yours, not ours. Everything is yours. It's not ours. Like literally, God, we are just your daughters having a silly good time, just talking about your goodness, preaching your gospel. And we just ask that there's an urgency and a seriousness when it comes to handling your word and your people, Lord. So we thank you for the responsibility. This is not something easy and it's not something we take lightly. It's a great responsibility to serve you. So we just thank you and we praise you in Jesus name.

[Lauren Ricks]

Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

[Emmy Moore]

Amen. Yeah, so, I mean, I just feel like I gotta state the obvious of like, I've the mom. I once had the entirety of my life changed in a span of like a year and a half. And I think that's something I really wanted to talk about of kind of what that dynamic was like, how the Lord came into your life, swept you off of your feet, what that looks like, our relationship, all those things. But I think before we even get into any of those things, like, like, who are you? Like, who are you? Where do you come from? How old are you? Because I bet the people are wanting to know, you know, just what is your story? And I'm probably going to ask questions in the middle of it.

[Lauren Ricks]

And I'm just going to give it like the fastest go I can, but. So I grew up with my brother Lyle. I would say our childhood, I always thought was happy I was not raised in church. My mom, I remember, had her Bible, and I remember that she would look at her Bible. So I always remember a Bible. My dad never talked about Jesus, but I was closer to my dad than my mom. My dad liked to golf. And then at the golf course, he would, you know, play cards and dice. And I was always that little girl on my dad's lap and followed him around, wanted to be in the golf cart with him. I just did everything with my dad. And it was.

[Emmy Moore]

My.

[Lauren Ricks]

I think it was seventh grade year that my dad literally broke me. And I hate calling him out in the public or whatever, but, I mean, it is what it is. And I love my father and I've forgiven him, but something was done that literally, I feel like, ruined my childhood and my innocence. And I hardened my heart and towards him. My mom's heart was hardened as well. So I think that she sees it now and we've had discussions, but she was okay that I was mean to my dad, that I didn't want anything to do with him because she was so hurt.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

So that situation happened in my life and through high school. I always hung around really sweet girls. Like, we were very innocent. Even in junior high, like, we'd see Play with Barbies. I remember having sleepovers. I loved watching the Little Mermaid. Like, we would just be kids, you know, play Girl Talk. There was this show called Girl Talk or not show a board game called Girl Talk. You know, like, I was truly a kid. We didn't have social media. We didn't have any of that. And just so you know, I'm 42 years old, so we're in 1982. So there you go. I grew up in the 80s and then had a lot of fun in the early 90s. I love my era.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

So it's a good one. It really got a really good era. Yeah, for sure.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

So I feel like the friends that I had were really sweet, good girls. And then as my heart hardened, I got into high school and I can see how people change. Like, I didn't hang out with the sweet girls anymore. And not saying that my friends weren't good, but they were very, like, let's go out on Saturday night. And I was so innocent. I mean, no joke, really didn't even understand much of, you know, sexual education when I was in seventh and eighth Grade. Cause I wasn't paying attention because I'm like, ooh, this is gross. So I was very immature, and I learned things from the world and not my parents. And so I would say that during high school, I drank, I smoked, I was promiscuous, which is horrible of me to admit, but it's truth. And I had no innocence. And I didn't. I didn't care. I literally was kind of numb. Like, I. My mom, my dad. I just felt like I always worked hard. I always had jobs. During high school, I worked three jobs at once. You know, my dad had a restaurant, so I worked on the weekends. We did weddings. I would bus tables. I waitress. I work at a coffee shop. Worked at Claire's in the mall. I was just. I was always a go getter, and I always wanted to be successful.

[Emmy Moore]

School.

[Lauren Ricks]

And so senior year, I met your. Well, I didn't meet your dad senior year, but we had a class together. And Emily's dad was, like, the guy everyone wanted. And I make so much sense. Yes. Like, he was so handsome, but, like, he was actually very quiet. And I think that's why girls were like, oh, you know, his name's David.

[Emmy Moore]

David.

[Lauren Ricks]

David. And I remember I always just thought he was so handsome, but, like, no way.

[Emmy Moore]

He is a handsome man. Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

And I was like, oh, my gosh. You know, I was dating someone outside of high school that was way too old for me. I was 17 years old. He was, I think, 22. I mean, crazy, right? And I'm like, hey, Ken. So I'm telling you guys the story. So you know how Emily came along, right? So I remember I said, hey, do you think one of your friends can ask me to prom? Because, you know, so and so is too old to take me, but I don't want to miss senior prom. And then right away, your dad was like, well, I'll take you. And I was walking down to the library with a friend, and my friend was hyping me up. She's like, lauren, you're going with David prom. And I was like, well, yeah, just as friends. And then, you know, I was like, oh, that is kind of cool. You know, and then, yeah, I saw your dad out that night, actually, and he just, like, took authority and gave me a kiss. Was like, I'm so glad you're here. And I'm like, well, I guess I'm gonna break up with so and so now. And I remember calling that guy. And, like, I like, so and so. And I'm sorry, but I can't see you anymore. And that's how me and your dad started. So I would say we probably started dating in March of my senior year. And Emily, Me and David had Emily. And we're both very young. I found out in October after we graduated. I was 18 years old and so was David, that I was pregnant with Emily. And of course, like, when you sit down, like, we thought of every option. And in my heart, I always knew, like, I need to have her, you know? And so I ended up having you. August 6th of 2001. I graduated in 2000, so I was 18 years old. And I turned 19 when? In October. So it was officially 18 when I had Emily, but out of school and I got pregnant with you. Thank goodness. But with that said, I always tell Emily, and she knows this, that she's my angel. Because I was a free spirit. I wanted to go live at the coast. I wanted to be in masseuse. I would sleep on the beach if I had to. Like, that was my plan. I wasn't gonna go to college anything. And while I was actually in labor with Emily, that's how I knew I wanna be a labor and delivery nurse. I had such a great experience with the nurse. And I had a really hard time having you. They almost took me in emergency cesarean section. You had a nuchal cord, so the cord was around your neck. This is tmi. I know, but they had to cut me front to back and vacuum you out. I mean, it was really scary for me. You were a big kid. You were 8 pounds, 10 ounces. I'll never forget that day. So with me saying that, like, it was very traumatic. I pushed over three hours and I thought, I want to be a nurse and be there for someone. Because I just was picking an occupation. So when I signed up for cos, which is a college here where we live, I was like, I'll be a teacher. Because, you know, everyone, you just think you want to be a teacher. You don't really know. And my parents never asked me about college ever. Like, well, what do you want to do? I mean, it was nothing, nada. My brother's the one that was like, if you don't go sign up for some classes, you're gonna be a big loser. Like, I'm like, okay, yeah. So because of my brother, the day before college start at junior college, I started classes because of my brother. So big, you know, shout out to him for that because he was trying to help me and pretty crazy. He was the only one in my family that asked, like, are you Enrolled in classes. Like, just nuts. But anyhow, so fast forward. Me and your dad got married, and we struggled a lot. We didn't have money. I was going to nursing school. Your dad, I will always praise him for this, worked so hard. And I truly believe we both tried our best. And through that time, even when we first started dating, like, your dad loved Jesus and so did I. But we didn't have, like, a true relationship with Jesus. I think that it's like, oh, I love Jesus. I love going to church. I love. Like, we used to. Like, Emily would be involved. I would take her to Wednesday night youth group. You would do. Because I liked doing that when I was a kid. I would go with my. My good friends from, you know, junior high. We would go and do that, and I just loved it. And then, you know, we would go. We were in a very small church, and it was like, basically. The singing trailer. Yeah. Yeah. But I loved it. And we would get together on Wednesday nights for prayer group, and then Sundays, very small community of people. And I loved it. And your dad wants to stop going. And then I feel like that was where it was a big turn for me. And I changed a lot because I got out of church and we didn't really get plugged in like we should have, but so we kind of were just spotty everywhere with our relationship with Jesus. It was like we always would do things, but it wasn't consistent.

[Emmy Moore]

Right.

[Lauren Ricks]

And, you know, then me and your dad went through our thing. We were married 10 years, and then we got divorced. A lot of things happened, I think, too, because we were so young. I felt like I missed out a lot in my life, which I know now because I didn't know Jesus and have him in my life. I was filling voids my entire life.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

I was totally filling that hole. Always thinking something was missing.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

And it wasn't your dad's fault. You know, it's like. Yeah, there's things that he did that I was like, dude, come on.

[Emmy Moore]

But everybody got their thing.

[Lauren Ricks]

Everyone has their things. Just like, I had my things. And so I've told my husband this now I've told your dad this, that my biggest regret in my life was now the place that I am. And now. And I'm gonna try not to cry through this episode, was leaving your dad, because I didn't see the whole picture of what would happen to you and Avery and even to your dad and how I probably crushed his spirit and soul, you know? But I was so selfish and narcissistic. And all these things, and I. Very quickly. Because all I knew was being in a relationship. I was left by my father, and so I always felt like I needed a man. Now I know this.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

But I. I didn't know.

[Emmy Moore]

You didn't.

[Lauren Ricks]

You know, I didn't know it, but I know it now.

[Emmy Moore]

Just keep in mind, like, how old were you when you did get a divorce?

[Lauren Ricks]

Because you were young. I was 30.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah.

[Emmy Moore]

That's really young to get a divorce.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. And already married for 10 years.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

That's crazy. So, yeah. And then I rushed in, and I'm so grateful for Jeremy, my husband now, but totally rushed into a relationship. You know, we got married, then got pregnant. We're trying to do everything right. But the thing is, is, like, we also didn't put God first. It's like we both knew Jesus and, you know, all that. But once again, no one had a true relationship. So. Yeah, just through the years, I definitely went through it. Kind of had a secret life, I would say, trying to fill voids.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

And I'm very open to sharing those voids with people that I love and that I trust, because I feel like testimony can help people for sure. But living in a lie of secrets, it'll catch up with you. It will never stay a secret. So, yeah, I just was watching Emily. So fast forward, that's kind of like a little rough draft of how I was, where I was at, you know, having Emily young. I was watching Emily in her house, and she was going through her own trial of, like, I'll just say religion. You were kind of searching at first. And she had a friend that. I'm grateful that she had this friend and family because they really introduced Jesus to you the right way. Not because I. I used to get mad at Emily in podcasts, and I would straight up tell her, like, you act. People think that you never knew Jesus. Like, I took you to church. I did. I took you to youth group. We would go to church. We would take you with this. Prayer studies, blah, blah, blah. But the difference was, is I wasn't even really talking to Jesus with Emily, you know, like, my son. Now that's 10. Like, he knows what the Trinity is. Holy Spirit, like, we denounce.

[Emmy Moore]

Like, can we tell? Can we tell real quick about Austin? Like, rebuking the demon.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah, I know he will.

[Emmy Moore]

No, he will. No, Austin will. I watch out for Austin. No, Austin is like. Like the greatest blessing to all of us. Austin, he is like a demon slayer. One night he came over and he asked me he's like, do you believe in ghosts? I said, no. Like, he's like, well, he. No, he said this. He said, do you believe in good ghosts? And I said, there's no good ghosts. They all demons. And he was like, well, sissy, what if you do. What do you do if you see a ghost? I said, I rebuke it. I send it to the pits of hell in Jesus name. And he said, so I do that when I see a ghost? I said, yeah. And so we practice it. And that night when we went to sleep, we prayed. And he goes, and. And I rebuke all the ghosts in Jesus name, and I send the demons to hell. And so he prays that every night. Every night we'll pray. And he's like, I send the demons to hell. And I'm like, man, if I was saying that at 10 years old, I would have been so straight with life. Okay, anyways.

[Lauren Ricks]

So, yeah, now you all see where Austin's at. But, yeah. So where was I? I was with the last couple years. So watching Emily and her transformation, I quietly. And God knows what we do behind closed doors. I quietly was really searching myself. And where I started with myself was I didn't open my Bible. I actually, because I didn't even. It's. It scared me. I didn't really know where to start. And I was all alone in it because I was very private about my soul searching and finding Jesus. But I would find really great sermons on YouTube and people who spoke about their lives and how they were saved, their testimonies. So I was doing that a lot. And then I would, like, watch Christian shows only. And then I was noticing that friendships were bothering me. I would tell friends, like, hey, because I'm being truthful now you're mad at me. Like, I. And I'm like, I don't want any more friendships like this. I. I was transforming, or Jesus was transferring me so much that now I know why these things were happening. He was taking me out of situations I didn't need to be in. He was taking me away from people who were not fruitful in my life. And that all happened, really, within a year and a half. But really, you're the one, because I saw you transform. I was like, okay. I would get mad at Emily because she would tell me, you're. You wouldn't say I was lukewarm, but you would, like, spit out scripture about the lukewarm. He will spit you out. And I'm like, I know he's. She's talking about me. You could just say, mom, he's gonna spit you out your lukewarm. But I'm like, whatever, girl. Like, I used to get so annoyed, but I'm like, whatever. And then I finally understood what a relationship with Jesus was not. You go to church, you do your thing on Sunday, and then you forget everything, right? My life is. I wake up and I am Jesus. What are you gonna tell me today? What are we doing? I have coffee dates, literally, with Jesus. You know, like, I'm gonna go read scripture here today or, you know, I'm walking my dog. What am I gonna listen to? What. Where are you gonna lead me for a sermon today, God? You know, because I listen to a lot of great sermons on my walks and there's no distractions. I was on a runner's high a lot during that time, and I was just listening nothing but Christian music. I still. Personally, for me, that has been something that I prefer to listen to it just. If I'm gonna listen to music, I want to worship and praise and listen to joy and peace and kindness and nothing vulgar.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

You know, I. I transform by. I'm not perfect. We all fall short. I mean, I slip every once in a while, but I don't cuss.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

I don't even see, like, D A M. I don't say any of those words. Like, I cringe now.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

Modesty is something that the Lord transformed me. And that's where, like, I've seen through my children, where I fell short. And God showed me. And I just. It's a gift that I'm still here on this earth, that the Lord knew I wasn't ready because if he, the devil would have taken me, I was not preparing for eternity. And so where I'm at now, my life, I know I'm not going to step back. I know that I will fall short because I'm flesh, right. I'm human. But I repent. I mean it. And I'm not a repeat offender anymore.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, that's so good. A repeat offender is so funny.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. Because I would feel bad and guilt and shame, but because I was always trying to fill voids, I was a repeat offender all the time.

[Emmy Moore]

It's so good.

[Lauren Ricks]

You know, so that's something that was big too, like, yeah, no, I'm not gonna let these thoughts in my head. And then I had to learn how to rebuke, denounce, like, fill me, Lord, with your holy spirit. Any spirit that is not of you, I send to the pits of hell. It does not belong here. The only Thing that will be within me is your spirit.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

Like, I just. And I say things out loud, and I do not care if people think I'm crazy.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. I.

[Lauren Ricks]

The best time I pray is Truck on the way to work or dropping Austin off, whatever. And because I like to speak out loud to Jesus, for sure. And I think that if you're watching this and if you're kind of like, gosh, I feel like that, like, I want to know Jesus. I don't have that relationship. Talking to Jesus is literally like talking like I am right now to Emily.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

That's how you have to start, is just how he knows how your day is. He just wants a relationship with you. Like how I wanted Emily to be close to me and have a relationship to me. He just wants us to be in relationship with him.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. That's so good.

[Lauren Ricks]

And so once I understood that, then the relationship just developed.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

And I do hear things from God, which we all hear things differently. I've shared this with you. How I hear God, it's almost like a thought. It's always my voice, but I know the thought comes from Jesus.

[Emmy Moore]

Like, it's like wisdom.

[Lauren Ricks]

It's wisdom.

[Emmy Moore]

Yes.

[Lauren Ricks]

Like, it comes to me, and then I'm like, okay, Lord, I know that's from you. You know, I. I just pray that I am a light. We have so much darkness. So I try to be, Lord. Fill me with nothing but fruit, Lord, so I can share, that I can spread your light. That I can be so bright, Lord, that people look at me and know my love for you.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

You know, and I want to draw forth people who need that and help save as many souls as I can.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

You know, that's just my heart now. And I love what I do for my job. I really do. It stresses me out because I don't want anything bad, you know, I'm in healthcare, so I always. I hate fear, but I'm always like, lord, you know, this doesn't belong in my life. Just help me to have healthy patients, happy families. I pray for that every time before I take step into the hospital, because it could be a scary place to work.

[Emmy Moore]

Yes.

[Lauren Ricks]

And stressful. But I'm learning through my relationship with Jesus. He doesn't want me to have the fear. He doesn't want me to have the stress and anxiety. So I try to. I'm always reminding myself of that at work, too. So, yeah, having that relationship with Jesus has changed. Just me even at work being, you know, better to serve him and my patients while I'm there at work, you know, like, Lord, use me where you need me. Put me with the patience that you want me with. That I could see, speak to not just through, you know, their physical health, but their spiritual health.

[Emmy Moore]

Yes, absolutely. Yeah, that's really good. I mean, man, there's so much stuff that you said that was just so good even. I mean, I think one of the things. I mean everything of what you've said, you just see that just manifesting in the physical life and spiritual life as well. And I just want to touch on this real quick. Whenever you would say, like, I would kind of like side rebuke you and you were just kind of like, I know you're talking about me, but the intention of that wasn't me being like towards my mom. I think it was me not knowing how to handle the conviction and the reality of spiritually of what I saw.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. Because which I'm living that now. And so I. I relate now with Emily doing that because I'm doing it in my own household now.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

And I was sharing actually with a friend that's of kind close by here. Sometimes you have to step out of the way to let Jesus in.

[Emmy Moore]

Okay, can I say something real quick? So, okay. I lived with my mom. Okay. So again, just re. Re ramp the testimony story. I. My parents were married up until I was 10, got divorced whenever I was 11. My mom remarried when I was 12, had awesome. When she was 13. So whenever.

[Lauren Ricks]

13.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, yeah. And so whenever. Or when I was 13. Yes. Not when you were 13. Sorry. Oh my gosh. No, no, no. When I was 13. So sorry. When I was 13. And from that I've lived with my mom whenever I was in high school. We were on and off with my dad. But after high school I fully started to live with you. And so, I mean, let's think about that. I moved out like a year and a half ago. So I lived with you for about like four or five years. Like straight. Yeah. And so that's where the Lord was like changing my heart. Where.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. You're going through it like she was finding Jesus. And I'm just living my, you know, dark world basically.

[Emmy Moore]

Right. And it's like it was, it was so interesting because, you know, not coming from a household that knows Jesus. And I feel like I'm kind of like the only one. I mean, like, you know, I was going through like a whole bunch of like suicideation anxiety. You remember the anxiety though, because anxiety was more of the expressive one, depression. And like suicide ideation was more like, veiled and covered, and no one really.

[Lauren Ricks]

Knew about that, and I'll own that. I did not handle that well, you guys. So FYI, when Emily speaks about that, I thought you were just, like, drama, you know, and shame on me for that. But I look back, and I was just like, I. I can't go back in time.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

But I want to tell you here.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, no, thank you for that, because.

[Lauren Ricks]

I just always thought Emily was dramatic.

[Emmy Moore]

And y' all, my mom has told me sorry a million times. That's been.

[Lauren Ricks]

I could have been much better. And.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, but. But okay, so this is where I was getting is, like, when God started to change my heart, the posture. I was coming from, like, the urgency of Mom. Like, you're not living a life for Christ. You're saying the word Jesus, but you don't love him. It wasn't coming from a place of condemnation and being judgmental. It was coming from a place of, like, seeing the enemy trying to kill still and destroy your life. But you didn't understand that, but I did. And so I was like, it's kind of one of those things of, like, if we saw Austin running out across the street to the park, and a race car was, like, gonna hit him. Gonna hit him. We're not gonna be like, hey, Austin, move out of the way. We're gonna be like, austin, get out of the street right now. Like, that was me. But where I had a hard time navigating that season because of all the hurt and trauma, which, by the way, to any of those who are listening, I told my mom this, and we had a heart, like, a few months ago. Like, my mom has never been my enemy. You've never been my enemy.

[Lauren Ricks]

Not once.

[Emmy Moore]

It's always has been, whatever the heck was behind it. And I saw that God loves us so much. He has plans even before I was knitted in your womb, before you were knitted in Nisi's womb, that there is plans for us to make disciples of all nations. And I know the enemy saw that and was like, I don't want that to come into fruition, but God is good, and he gets his way all the time. And so during this time in my life, I was like, I saw the urgency and something, and also, I was in so much prayer for you. The moment I came to Christ, the biggest prayer I had was, father, save my mom and dad. Like, save my mom and dad and my siblings, and I would be okay. Like, that's, like, the biggest thing. I just want you to touch them, and it's still a prayer. I still pray for everybody around me. And so when I kind of understood the urgency and the weight of transforming and giving your life to Jesus, and I kind of saw this, like, lukewarm behavior, it wasn't a place of condemnation. It was a place of urgency. And I love you. I want you to see the Lord. But because of the trauma and the things that I was going through, I did not know how to honor my parents, both you and my dad, because I was coming out of so much defensiveness and offensiveness to where everything out of me was becoming so blunt. I only cared of getting things across for the sake of myself and. And not even understanding or comprehending how you guys would receive it. And I think what really changed my relationship even before you came to Christ with. With you, was I prayed to the Lord, I said, lord, please give me eyes for my mom the same way you have eyes for her. And things that I was once angry about, and not even just angry, furious. Like the voids you were talking about, which me and you both know what we're talking about, things that really crushed me, I started to have forgiveness in those areas because I was no longer seeing the action. I saw everything that happened in your life that got you there. And it wasn't even your advocacy or even like your will is almost like I saw you for who you were, and it was like no longer a. My mom did this, this, this. And she hurt me, and she did this is like I stood back and I had made space for me to see you how God sees you. And I was able to empathize with you. And so what honoring, respecting looks like was not necessarily like stooping down to lukewarmness, but instead of trying to play the place of the conviction, which is the Holy Spirit's job, I began to just be an encouragement. And I remember in for Christmas in 2023, the Lord gave me an assignment for you. And this is. After all the voids came to life. I dealt with all my hurt, all these things were going on. I'm becoming more cheer in the Lord. I just got in my relationship with Malik, and I didn't move out for. Out of your house for a really long time. We talked about this slightly, but I didn't move out of your house for a really long time because I was terrified for Austin.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah.

[Emmy Moore]

No, when it comes to Austin, I'll saw my eyes out there when I think there was so much guilt I had with Austin for so long because my mom had Austin when I was 13. And it was so quick. And I didn't. Whenever you were pregnant, I didn't want to spend time with you. And I stayed away from you for a long time because I was so angry. And keep in mind, I'm like 12, I don't know any better. And I remember as a 12 year old girl, I was furious with a baby that wasn't even born yet. And I remember like viciously, outwardly being so menace, like with my actions and with my verbiage of Austin. And then it was like the moment he was born, I was like, that's my everything. And I had the skill. And then Austin started to show signs of autism when he was like two or three. And it never got com confirmed technically.

[Lauren Ricks]

Because we never got diagnoses.

[Emmy Moore]

Right. But if we're being real in the.

[Lauren Ricks]

Room, chile it was non verbal for a long time. Like, yeah, there were just. When you have two other children and you've seen and been around other children, like, I just knew that Austin had special.

[Emmy Moore]

Something was really off.

[Lauren Ricks]

I was like, something's not jiving here.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. And so for a long time, I always thought that was my fault that he was that way because of what I. What I said while you were carrying him. And so I always felt this guilt of leaving and like this responsibility, especially when I came to Christ, of like, I have to convert my family. Like, I have to be the one. And I came to Christ and the Lord was putting on my heart to move. And I did not like it. I was like, lord, I cannot leave my family. I cannot leave Austin. Like, I want him to be okay. I don't want him to be hurt. Like, I want everything to be okay. And of course I. I've always been praying for our family. And he gave me one word and he said, emmy, I need you to move. I can move in, and you have to trust me that I'm going to move in. And so I didn't like when he said that because I was like, no, I want to stay with my family, you know, because I felt this responsibility to just take care of everyone, which I think is like eldest daughter syndrome. Like, it's just like that's psychologically a pattern of like older, the eldest daughter in the family dynamic. And so I started to surrender it to the Lord. And then Christmas time came around, and the Lord told me what to give you, and he told me to give you a Bible. And then he told me to write you a letter saying that I forgave you of everything. And that was really hard for me to do because I knew I could never. Like, it was too hard for it to come out of my mouth and that what I wrote on paper was just like, from the entirety of my heart. And that Christmas morning, I just felt like a release on my entire life.

[Lauren Ricks]

Of like, I felt it too, though, when I read it. Because in that time, speaking truthfully, I was very upset with Emily because I felt like. And I know we're just. Everyone out there know, like, it's. This is just truth at the time because I'm not at where I'm at now. Right. I used to have anger with Emily because I felt like she was judging me and so hard on me and like I wasn't good enough. I didn't do enough because I, I always tried my best, you know, and now I see where I could have been my best with Jesus. But I have to move forward now, you know? But so when I read that letter, little did she know that that was like, for me, a new start.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. It really felt for both of us. For both of us, like, yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

Because Emily, I hate to say this, but it's hard for her because I'm this way too. If you know you're sorry, you'll say you're sorry when you're in the wrong, but when you're, you're in the right. And at the time, Emily was in the right because you were right that I was lukewarm. But she, she had to let that go and tell me I'm sorry and let go, let God. And she did and trusted that. And then. Yeah, just everything started changing from the moment.

[Emmy Moore]

So I moved out five days. Wait, no, no, no. Because Christmas before New Year, three days after Christmas. And it was as I was moving out, I was feeling the spiritual shift in the house of like, something is going to happen. And it was almost immediately after Christmas, God started to turn your life around.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah.

[Emmy Moore]

And I saw it and I was just kind of like, away, like, okay, Lord, you're doing something my mom. And I'm just gonna keep praying. I'm not gonna be invasive. I'm just gonna let you bring this relationship into fruition and shortly, but surely, like everything in your life. Like, like every mother wound I had from the moment I was a little girl to now has been healed off of this one year version of you. Like this two year version of Jesus. Like, yeah. And it's like, like, I don't know. I feel like sometimes people even who could be watching this is like, well, I needed my mom when I was five and if God saves her now, like those things aren't going to be dismissed, you know, and it's like, no, like I had like 10 year old wounds healed from a 23 year old Persona. Like I literally got healed in the age of 23. But spiritually 10 because of like how you came so naturally loving and nurturing and it's just honestly miraculous to see. Like if there was anyone who I thought if there was one person that I didn't know God was going to reach, it was definitely you. Because I was like, I. Because you're very strong minded. And I mean this is where, where a lot of like. And this is also why we make great people for the kingdom.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah.

[Emmy Moore]

Because we're very strong minded and we don't back down. And my mom's a fighter. So I was like, God, I don't know how you're going to break through to her because we all kind of got a little bit of hard heads.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah.

[Emmy Moore]

You know, and so but when he did, I, A lot of my false doctrine really got threw into shambles. And I knew I was seeing you watch the sermons, you were speaking differently. You were living out your convictions and I was letting you kind of figure that separately. But the one day I realized like, oh no, like my mom is dead. Like, like the old time baptized, that, that before that you apologized to me for everything.

[Lauren Ricks]

Oh yeah.

[Emmy Moore]

And you didn't even. Which this is miraculous because I would even advocate like the strongholds. I don't believe it's just you. I think a huge stronghold that's been upon our family that has literally taken members out of our family is narcissism in the spirit of pride. So though my mom, the olds, you never said sorry, like you were never the one to really take accountability. You were just like, I'm the parent, you know.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah.

[Emmy Moore]

And when you came to Christ, your heart got so convicted with reconciliation that when you apologize, I, you knew I meant it. But it was even like a just. You didn't say I'm sorry for everything you said. I did this, this, this and this. And I see you in that and I'm sorry for that. And that was the moment I was like, lord, that was only you. Because my mom didn't go to a therapist. I know no one told her to say that. Like, that was just from your heart.

[Lauren Ricks]

I started realizing the truth of generational curses by, you know, being in the Bible, by sermons that the Lord would direct me to and I would listen to. And I knew every time I'd listened to it. Like, I was part of a generational curse that I passed down to my children. So I understood that. And I think that was a big breakthrough for me because before, I always felt like, I'm trying my best. I'm trying my best. I always work hard. I'm this, I'm that, you know? And they don't say it. I'm doing this. I'm giving them this. I always felt like I was a good mom because I felt like I gave you guys what you needed, you know, like. Like, material wise.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

But I did not give you anything spiritually. So. Yeah. I mean, I've just seen a whole different light now because of Jesus. Like, but not because I know his name, but because he is number one in my life.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. Yeah. That's so good. And it shows that, too. And, like, I love how that's just bled into every aspect of your, like, life. Like work and friendships and even relationships with family is like, you just see God has transformed your life, which is literally what he calls, like, even. It's like a renewing and a transforming of your mind, which then, like, overflows into every other aspect. And it's like, you're living and you're walking that and even, like, you getting, like, plugged into the church and, like, wanting to serve and, like, all those things. That's, like, super sweet stuff. And then, like, rewriting your story of, like, it was never too late of, like, you literally have another shot at everything. It's not just, like, just because me, Avery and Austin are getting older doesn't mean, like, you're done being a mom. Like, you're always gonna be a mom. And so it's like.

[Lauren Ricks]

And then one day, at grandma, like, Emily was just asked. We were on a walk yesterday. Yesterday. That's another thing, too, is since I came to Christ and I have this great relationship with Jesus, Emily and I have a fruitful time together.

[Emmy Moore]

Yes. We hang out every day.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. And we look forward to going on walks. And I'm quiet a lot because I know sometimes I just need to let Emily talk. And I've been getting better about that because before, I wanted a solution for her for everything. So now I like just to listen to her, see where she's at in her life. And if she asked me for help, then I will pray for wisdom and the right words, like, Lord, what. What. What was it that you would need for her that I need to tell her? You know, because I am her earthly mother here.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah. And you do have authority.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. And so you know, I just feel like, even wisdom wise, I have matured with what I need to do for you. But she was saying yesterday on the walk back to that is, how do you feel about being a grandma one day? And I was like, honestly, like, I'm excited, you know, and then we're talking about names. I was like, well, you know, when I worked at this one hospital, there's two Laurens. One was L, O, R, N and I'm L, A, U, R, N. And so they used to call me Lala. And so she was like, oh, Lala. And then I'm thinking about that while I'm on my walk. I'm like, I'm totally thinking about grandma things right here. But I look forward to it because I love taking Austin to the park. And now that Austin's getting older, now he's getting into more big, crazy spirit. I know. And I'm like, I love, like, the little stage, you know, like, my favorite age is until about 12. Honestly, 0 to 12, I'm good. And then it's like, the attitude happens.

[Emmy Moore]

A little bit to 12 is fun.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. But even infants, toddlers, like, I love it all. I'm, you know, postpartum nurse. I did labor and delivery. For years I've been a nurse. That's going on. Actually, in December it'll be 20. When has it already been? 20 years? Oh, no, in January it's gonna be 20 years. I've been a nurse.

[Emmy Moore]

That seems so, like, all because of Emily.

[Lauren Ricks]

All because Emily. Because I didn't want to be a loser. I was like, I need. And back in the night. Or okay, so 2000s, like late 1990s, like, piercings were really in. I don't know if that's big now, but I remember I found out I was pregnant. I'm like, taking out my tongue ring.

[Emmy Moore]

And, oh, my gosh, my belly button.

[Lauren Ricks]

Ring and all my. I had my. Because I worked at Claire's, had all these fears of my cartilage, my entire ear. And I was like, I'm gonna be a mom. Like, I need to be on point.

[Emmy Moore]

Just I need to be on point. That's so funny.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. Like, just the news of you changed a lot, for sure, of who I was. Because like I said, I was. Yeah, it was crazy. But, yeah, I died to the old self. And I'm renewed.

[Emmy Moore]

I want to kind of ask about something. Just even talking about, you know, teen pregnancy, you being a really early mom. You've talked about, you know, feeling like you've had to, like, discover yourself in areas where you didn't have the time to discover it. I bet there's so many people listening to this who, like, probably became a mom, like, last moment out of, like, inconvenience and, like, didn't plan on it really young or out of a circumstance or even, like, it may have not been with her husband. It could have been with somebody else. What. How did you find yourself in a season where you felt like your independency was kind of almost like, stripped from you, in a sense. And how did you even, like, now. Because I know you said you didn't really discover that early on because you were feeding it with all these voids and all these things, but, like, now that God has given you that opportunity now, like, how have you been finding yourself who you are as an individual, as a daughter, before you're a mom to anybody, you know?

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. So are you asking pretty much, like, where I'm at now and, like, how I'm.

[Emmy Moore]

Well, I. I'm just asking if there's any wisdom you have to help those who were. Are in the.

[Lauren Ricks]

Oh.

[Emmy Moore]

Or have been in the situation that you were in. Of, like, you had a baby at 18, and it's like.

[Lauren Ricks]

So I went through the feelings, like I said, of like, there's more out there, or I didn't date enough. And then. I hate to say it, but even shows. You would watch. Like, I remember watching the Bachelor, and I'm like, I want to feel like that. And I mean, just stupid stuff, right?

[Emmy Moore]

That's crazy.

[Lauren Ricks]

But I was so young, but I think I was 20. And I remember I would, like, go to bed at night and be thinking of the Bachelor, like, oh, he's so cute. I don't know. It's because I grew up too fast.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

So literally, when I was married to your dad, the whole time I was thinking I was missing out on a life. All my friends were going on vacations and partying. And, you know, I'm, like, going to school school so I could try to make some good money. And, you know, having kids, I'm like, what the heck? And so I would strongly urge, if that anyone feels that way, to know that that is a dark world. It's not in the light of Jesus. Like, when I look back, that was the world trying to suck me in, you know, the evil of the world. Like, making me think that that's what I needed. Like, because that's our social norm. That's what we see all around us.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

Right. And it's okay. I honestly, in my Thought I was so screwed up in my mind. Like, yeah, I'm just not gonna be with David anymore. Like, I want to go date. I wanna, like, I thought that. Crazy. Like, I'm gonna separate from him because I want to know what it's like to, like, date. Yeah, crazy, but it's truth.

[Emmy Moore]

Do you think the core of that was, like, comparison and, like, not being satisfied with what you had or consider?

[Lauren Ricks]

Honestly, no, not at all. I think it was just more like rebellious. I. Yeah. I just always felt like, well, this kind of sucks. Like, I'm just stuck with David, you know what I mean? Like, I know it sounds so terrible, but that's how screwed up my mind was.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

Like, I wanted to feel excitement. You know, when you first start dating someone, you get the butterflies and stuff. I'm like, I want butterflies, I want this, I want that. And that's not reality.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

I was actually just listening to the sermon and the pastor was saying that it's proven that within two years, all those butterflies start disappearing. And guess what? Reality sinks in. You know, even with Jesus, these. These Christian couples. And it's not reality. But when you truly learn who Jesus is, you put him first in your life. I don't think about things like that anymore. Like, my husband can give me the hardest day, and I will tell him, like, I love you so much. I am concerned about you because I love you. And guess what? I'm going to be there the next day.

[Emmy Moore]

Yep.

[Lauren Ricks]

Even though it. It's not always the best, I'm like, nope, I'm going to pray about this.

[Emmy Moore]

And it's a choice.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. And. And now I've learned to communicate better. I think communication is key. Even if you know the other person's not hearing you, I think for yourself, you still have to communicate. So you can be like, okay, well, I said that I didn't keep it in. So that person can't ever say, well, you never said. Yeah, like, but I. I try now to share with a godly heart.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

The way that God would want to show his love and peace and kindness is the kind of person I want to be. When I speak to you, I want you to hear, you know, my concern out of love, that I'm being kind. I want to be patient. I hear you. So I think of all that now where before I was so selfish. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't. And you know, narcissist is a very hard word to hear. But now I'm like, that's out of my life. Because I Died to her. And I never saw it at the time that I was a narcissist.

[Emmy Moore]

I was, too. Yeah, I was in high school. I was a raging narcissist. Like, that was something I. Like I always say on the podcast, I was like, if God didn't save me, I would have been a raging narcissist for the rest of my life. That's what the devil wanted for me, me was to be like a raging narcissistic woman. And it's like, it's. Yeah, it's all pride, selfishness. It's. It's like self absorbency. Like you can't think of anybody else except for you. And I think just seeing the selflessness that has come out of you, even towards, like, our relationship, your marriage, everything. And it's like, even just seeing the whole family kind of like, thrive, which is like, amazing. And even just like Jeremy, too, which is like, we're gonna shout out Jeremy. We love Jeremy. He's literally amazing and has been, like, such a blessing to all of our lives.

[Lauren Ricks]

But I see the Lord working in his life big time. You know, I'm still praying on things, and he knows it. And like I said, I just gotta step out of the way. Let go, let God. And let God work on him. But, you know, he wants to go to church every Sunday. He's listening to Christian music. I see he's taking slower time.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

But I see the things that I was doing.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

That Jeremy's now doing. And I know in my heart, I'm like, Jesus, I know you're gonna. You're bringing him to your feet, and he's gonna know you and know what a true relationship is with you. And one thing that I had to do for myself and Emily knows this. And I think that in relationships, I see this, and I was just listening to that. Pastor Mark. I really like Pastor Mark. He's in Phoenix. Shout out Pastor Mark Mark, if you ever watch a show. Yeah, I love him, but he was talking about cell phones with his wife. Him and his wife had a discussion. And I'm like, I don't know if anyone's watching this right now. Put in the comments. But does anyone feel like your significant other is more in a relationship with their phone than anything else?

[Emmy Moore]

Right.

[Lauren Ricks]

Like, I'm like, hello, I'm right here.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

What did I just say? You know, and. But you're so content. And I always say the phone is so distracting and the devil loves it.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

All that stuff on there is just screwing with you and pulling you Back in the darkness. And so something that I. I have done. And for me, I don't miss it. I get off of Instagram, social media. I haven't been on TikTok in years, and I was going through seasons where I would be on it for a couple months, couple weeks. And then it's been now over two months. So to me, social media is Instagram and Facebook. I don't miss it. And I feel like people that want to be in my life and be there. Yeah, yeah, we'll just be in my life. And I'm like, it's okay if I don't see everyone's pictures.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

But the reason why I don't want to be on social media is because it's taking time away from the word of God for me.

[Emmy Moore]

That's how I feel. That's your conviction.

[Lauren Ricks]

That is because I'm like, well, if I'm not on that, I am literally listening to sermons.

[Emmy Moore]

I think everyone needs to be better about their social media consumption. Like, it's over and it's okay if.

[Lauren Ricks]

You want to do it, but for sure.

[Emmy Moore]

But not to where it's just too.

[Lauren Ricks]

Much of a distraction.

[Emmy Moore]

It kind of pulls you away from, like, reality in a sense. It's, like, really crazy. But, yeah, no, I think that's really good, and I think that's really good things to say, to be mindful. Even, like, when it comes to being fully present in speaking to people, it's like, you know, there are a lot of distractions. And I believe, like, what the devil can't destroy, he'll distract. And it's like, if the devil's gonna take away time from you, that's what he wants because he wants to come after your faith in, like, who you are and who God calls you to be. And it's like. Like, if you have that conviction and staying strong to that, God's going to put you in a place where his presence is more tangible instead of, like, he's fighting for a spot of your attention, you know? And so, I mean, I empathize with that. And I feel like I told you, like, that thing that I bought, like, the brick thing, where I, like, I think that comes in, like, two days, but I'm really excited for it. But yeah, even just, like, practical stuff like that is just to be mindful. Being mindful, being present. And it's like. Like, I don't even think that's just in romantic relationships. Even sometimes I'm out with friends, they're on everything. Or even just, like. Even Kids, and I think we always say, like, we thank God Austin just watches YouTube.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Emmy Moore]

But he is an iPad kid.

[Lauren Ricks]

But so I did take the iPad. So any moms, if you're watching this, what I ended up doing was. And it's been a couple months, we've done this with Austin. We take away his iPad Monday through Friday. If he had a good week at the. At school Saturday, he has limited time on his PlayStation or his iPad or both. It's fine. If we're like a chill day and he wants to do that, I'm okay with that.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

But, you know, being involved with his baseball right now, he's been busy. And just me even taking him to the jump park or going somewhere, whatever, because, you know, as parents, it's not. We're setting that example too. Was he gonna think if I'm on my feet phone all the time and I'm. You know what I mean? Like, I want him to see that I'm an active.

[Emmy Moore]

You're present.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. That I'm active. That I want to go out there with him. And I learned how to play baseball last year. Remember, I was pitching my son. I didn't. I've never played, but I was learning because I wanted to do that with him and him get excited about things. And he knew nothing either. So we're learning together. But I think it's just really important to show those things to your children that, you know, social media isn't for all the time, for sure. But there's a lot of good things to social media. Like, I do YouTube and I love watching sermons. I love fitness, so I love watching fitness. People like their food. I like seeing, like, recipes. I love, you know, watching certain Pilates moves, whatever. I love watching Emily on there. So there's a lot of good in social media, but I think that you just have to be careful about where you put your time. Like an increments on it.

[Emmy Moore]

I think by taking it in increments is like the best. And I think, like, everybody across the entirety of, like, the United States needs to have a better disciplinary system of, like, social media consumption, phone consumption. I think it just really replaces. I think social media and our phones make us left less tender to, like, softness and things that we should enjoy, like things that were once really beautiful, like, are now dull because there's this. This over sensitivity, hyper indulgence and materialisticism of, like, there's so much over consumption, like, over consumerism that's just, like, happening. And I think when you choose to plug away it just like, really makes relationships more meaningful and even. Just, like, even going on walks. Yeah, it's like, whatever. You feel the breeze, and you're like, God, I just feel like you kissed me. But it's like, if you're on your phone, like, you would have thought the.

[Lauren Ricks]

Bridge was looking, you know, whatever. That's why I like to listen to God's word when I'm walking. And I literally will look at clouds and be like, thank you, Jesus. Like, I did that. This. Yes. Like a beautiful cloud. I'm like, thank you, Jesus. And I imagine heaven. And I. I just. I made a whole different mind space, you know? But something that I heard, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I need to try this sometime. Is because we all have our camera on our phone. So when you're on trips and you're seeing all that, because I just got that from Moab, Utah, which is absolutely gorgeous, and you take pictures, it never justifies the beauty that you're seeing. It never looks as great in the picture. But there was a podcast. I was listening to a Christian podcast, and the girl was saying that her and her girlfriends go on a trip every year together, and they've been friends for a while. And there is a rule of no cell phones on the trip.

[Emmy Moore]

Trip.

[Lauren Ricks]

And what they do is they get the little disposable. Disposable cameras, and they take pictures on the disposable cameras, and they're just present in the moment. And then when they get back from the trip, they go and they. They get the film developed. And I'm like, that is a really cool idea.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

But they all decided that that was going to be their yearly trip is, of course, like an emergency call or whatever. But they all put their phones together at the trip, and they're like, like, not going to be on our phones. We're taking our cameras to take pictures, and we're going to be present this trip with each other, with God's creation, and with all of our conversations. We are not going to be distracted.

[Emmy Moore]

That's so good.

[Lauren Ricks]

Isn't that cool?

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, that is sweet. Dang. We didn't need to do more of that. That's so good. Well, thank you so much for just coming on here, sharing your wisdom, your story, testimony, everything. I'm like, we could obviously.

[Lauren Ricks]

I know we're here for a while.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, we could. Which this is probably not the last time you guys are going to see her. It's just the beginning. But, yeah, I think this has blessed so many people. And I think, I know it has, like. And it's not even out yet. We're like in the midst of just recording it. But I know it's just blessed so many people and that God's pleased with this and it's like, really sweet. So thank you for coming. You're welcome. Probably the next time we do an episode is when I'm in Florida.

[Lauren Ricks]

Yeah. And I'm looking forward to that. It's really sad, but I am looking forward to watching Emily and seeing what God does with her. And, you know, I just. She knows to be obedient, to listen to him, and I just trust that he's going to take care of her and that she's going to be obedient to his Word.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

But, yeah, I mean, if the biggest takeaway from anyone listening to this is literally die to the old self.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah, that's good.

[Lauren Ricks]

Love Jesus, know Jesus, talk to Jesus. Even if it's just telling them about your day. When you feel sad, thank him for the little things, like you have a bed to sleep on, a roof over your head. Thank you, Lord, for the car I'm driving right now. Thank you that I can listen to this worship music. Thank you, Lord, for the clouds. Thank you, Lord. So just start like that. And I promise, like, everything just flows because he wants it to.

[Emmy Moore]

Yeah.

[Lauren Ricks]

And everyone has their own way of doing things. But for me, yeah, I just got into finding, you know, what Jesus wanted for me and that was even. And this would be a whole nother topic maybe we could do. But, you know, I was like, do I want to be Catholic? Do I want to be Christian? So I just believe in the word of God, the Holy Bible, non denominational is where, you know, I had to go through a whole journey and that's a whole new topic in itself. But anyhow, it was nice sitting with you.

[Emmy Moore]

No, so good. I know. I was like, we're probably going to walk and hang out after this. So the camera's going to go off, but our conversations won't stop. But. But we love you guys so much. Thank you so much for watching and everything that you need to know, want to know, whatever it may be is in the description. But we love you guys so much. We just pray you walk blessed and just know that the Lord loves you, sees you, hears you, and that he literally wants you in his arms forever and ever. Amen. So see you guys and yeah, we'll see you in a week or two. Very soon. Love you guys.

[Lauren Ricks]

Bye bye.

[Emmy Moore]

That was perfect. That was a long episode. I know, but it was also good. Oh, thumbnail. Yeah, that'd be perfect. We'll just take a picture on the couch. That was so good.

[Lauren Ricks]

That was so sweet.

[Emmy Moore]

I'm gonna guess it was an hour 34. I'm gonna say an hour 40.

[Lauren Ricks]

An hour 20.

[Emmy Moore]

I felt like it was, like, that long. It felt really. Oh, an hour and four minutes. Yeah. Oh. Felt way longer than that. I was like, bruh.

[Lauren Ricks]

I was like.

[Emmy Moore]

I was like, bro, I gotta cut this off. I feel like.