Podcast
Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone With An Addiction
Hosted by Andrea Seydel · EN
Do you love someone with an addiction? Are you struggling?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Whether you are dealing with the turmoil that comes from loving someone with an addiction or feeling broken and knocked down from the aftermath, Saving You Is Killing Me is your go-to book and podcast that can help you take back your power and your life.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Whether you are dealing with the turmoil that comes from loving someone with an addiction or feeling broken and knocked down from the aftermath, Saving You Is Killing Me is your go-to book and podcast that can help you take back your power and your life.
39episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
251- When Love Is Not Enough: The Courage to Tell the Truth
2w ago00:20:14Tap to summarizeStories of Strength & Resilience Today's episode features one of the courageous contributors from our collective book, When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective. Every chapter in this book tells a true story. These are stories of loving someone with an addiction, navigating heartbreak, holding onto hope, setting boundaries, finding courage, and discovering that healing is possible. Some contributors chose to share their full names. Others chose to remain anonymous or use a pseudonym. No matter how they chose to tell their story, every voice in this collection is real, honest, and offered with the hope that someone else will feel a little less alone. We are deeply grateful to every contributor for their bravery, vulnerability, and willingness to share their lived experience. Your stories are helping break the silence surrounding addiction and reminding others that healing begins when we realize we are not walking this journey alone. 📚 Order Your Copy When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective Available now in paperback and digital editions wherever books are sold. Search the full title on Amazon or use the link in the show notes. 💛 Share Your Story Has this episode stirred something in your heart? If you have a story that could encourage, comfort, or inspire someone else who is loving a person with an addiction, I would love to hear from you. We are already beginning to gather stories for future volumes of the SYKM Collective, and your voice could become the hope someone else is searching for. Please email me at: andrea.livelifehappy@gmail.com Subject Line: Share My Story – SYKM Collective 🌿 Help Spread Hope If this episode touched your heart, please consider sharing it with someone who may need it. You can also help by: Recommending the book to your support group. Donating a copy to your local library. Gifting one to a therapist, recovery coach, doctor's office, or treatment centre. Sharing this podcast with someone who feels alone. One story has the power to change a life. Thank you for listening and for being part of the Saving You Is Killing Me community. Remember… Your story matters. Your healing matters. And together, we're reminding the world that no one has to walk this journey alone. Sending hugs, Andrea Seydel
Transcribe →250 - Self-Care Is Not Selfish: A Lifeline When You Love Someone with an Addiction
3w ago00:41:09Tap to summarizeSelf-Care Is Not Selfish: A Lifeline When You Love Someone with an Addiction Today is International Self-Care Day, and we're talking about why self-care isn't selfish—it's essential, especially when you love someone with an addiction. In this episode, I explore what self-care really means through the lens of positive psychology, happiness studies, and my HAPPY Framework. Together, we'll look at practical ways to care for your health, protect your energy, strengthen your relationships, reconnect with your purpose, and remember that your life matters too. If you've been pouring all of your time and energy into someone else's addiction, this episode is your gentle reminder to begin pouring some of that love back into yourself. In This Episode: Why self-care becomes a lifeline The Four C's: Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Courage & Community Self-care through the HAPPY Framework Simple ways to prioritize your own well-being 📚 Featured Resource When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective Available wherever books are sold. If this episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who may need it. Remember... Your story matters. Your healing matters. And together, we're reminding the world that no one has to walk this journey alone. Sending hugs, Andrea Seydel
Transcribe →249 - It's Launch Day! Celebrating When Love Is Not Enough on International Self-Care Day
3w ago00:14:56Tap to summarizeToday is launch day! I am beyond excited to celebrate the release of our newest book: When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective. Today also happens to be International Self-Care Day, and I truly couldn't imagine a more meaningful day to release this book. In this special episode, I share why self-care is so much more than bubble baths and spa days—especially when you love someone with an addiction. Self-care becomes the courageous decision to stop abandoning yourself while trying to save someone else. Drawing from the science of positive psychology, happiness studies, and the heart of the Saving You Is Killing Me community, we explore why healing begins with four essential practices: ✨ Self-Compassion ✨ Self-Care ✨ Courage ✨ Community These Four C's have become the foundation of healing within our SYKM community and are woven throughout every chapter of this remarkable collection. This book features the courageous stories of twenty-seven contributors who chose vulnerability over silence. Their stories remind us that while every journey is unique, none of us has to walk it alone. A heartfelt thank you to every contributor who trusted us with your stories. Your honesty, courage, and generosity will help readers around the world feel seen, understood, and hopeful. I'm also deeply grateful to Mike O'Riley, founder of The Art of Recovery Magazine, for writing such a meaningful foreword. Mike's personal experience with addiction and loss beautifully reminds us that while addiction changes lives, hope and healing are always possible. How You Can Help If this book speaks to you, I'd love your help in spreading hope. ❤️ Share it with someone you love. 📚 Donate a copy to your local library. 🏥 Gift one to a counsellor, therapist, doctor's office, recovery coach, or treatment centre. 👥 Recommend it to your support group. Sometimes one story is all it takes to remind someone they are not alone. Order Your Copy When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective Available now in paperback and digital editions wherever books are sold. (Search the full title on Amazon or use the link in the show notes.) In This Episode Why we intentionally launched on International Self-Care Day What self-care really means when you love someone with an addiction The Four C's of healing: Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Courage, and Community The science behind resilience, well-being, and hope Celebrating the twenty-seven courageous contributors How you can help bring this book into the hands of someone who needs it If this episode touched your heart, please consider sharing it. Every conversation helps break the silence surrounding addiction and reminds someone that healing is possible. Thank you for celebrating this launch with us. Sending hugs, Andrea Seydel
Transcribe →248 - Tainted Love (Part 3): Reclaiming Your Power No Matter What You Decide
3w ago00:23:04Tap to summarizeTainted Love (Part 3): Reclaiming Your Power No Matter What You Decide When you’ve been living in a relationship impacted by addiction, the decision to stay or leave can feel overwhelming. But underneath that question is something even more important: “How do I not lose myself in this?” This episode explores a powerful shift — moving from focusing on the decision itself to focusing on who you become while making it. Addiction relationships often create something known as identity fusion, where your sense of self becomes deeply tied to managing someone else’s behavior. You may find yourself becoming the fixer, the rescuer, the stabilizer — slowly losing connection with your own needs, values, and identity. Reclaiming your power means gently separating yourself from that dynamic. It means remembering something essential: You are not the outcome. You are not the relapse. You are not the chaos. You are a whole person outside of this relationship. This episode also introduces the concept of post-traumatic growth — the idea that through consciously processing difficult experiences, people can emerge with stronger boundaries, clearer values, and deeper self-trust. Not because the experience was easy. But because they faced it honestly. This is where true empowerment begins. Not in choosing perfectly — but in choosing yourself in the process. Whether you stay. Whether you leave. Whether you take space. You can reclaim your power in any direction. If this resonates, this is the heart of Andrea’s book: 👉 Tainted Love: Stay or Go? Navigating Tough Relationship Decisions in Addiction A guide to help you walk this path with strength, clarity, and self-compassion — without losing who you are along the way. Continue the Journey 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com Explore Andrea’s books: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X About Andrea Andrea Seydel holds a Master’s in Happiness Studies and integrates positive psychology, resilience science, and lived experience to support individuals navigating addiction relationships. Her work is rooted in helping you reclaim your identity and rebuild your life through Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Community, and Courage.
Transcribe →247 - Tainted Love (Part 2): Stay or Go? The Psychology Behind Impossible Decisions
4w ago00:18:30Tap to summarizeTainted Love (Part 2): Stay or Go? The Psychology Behind Impossible Decisions Few decisions feel heavier than this one: “Do I stay… or do I go?” When addiction is part of a relationship, this question rarely has a simple answer. It becomes layered with hope, fear, history, love, and uncertainty — all at once. This episode explores why this decision can feel so paralyzing and emotionally overwhelming. From a psychological perspective, many people find themselves caught in patterns like trauma bonding, where emotional highs and lows become intertwined, making it difficult to step away even when things are painful. At the same time, the brain is trying to protect you. It searches for certainty. It tries to predict outcomes. It wants to avoid regret. And so the question becomes bigger and heavier with time. But here’s where a powerful shift begins: The decision is not about choosing perfectly. It’s about choosing in alignment with who you are now. This episode helps you move away from the pressure of finding the “right” answer and toward a deeper understanding of your values, your needs, and your emotional truth. Because clarity doesn’t come from overthinking. It comes from reconnecting with yourself. If you’ve been stuck in the mental loop of stay or go, this episode will help you begin stepping out of that cycle and into a place of grounded decision-making. And if this resonates, this is exactly what Andrea explores in depth in: 👉 Tainted Love: Stay or Go? Navigating Tough Relationship Decisions in Addiction A compassionate and practical guide for navigating one of the most difficult decisions you may ever face. Continue the Journey 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com Explore Andrea’s books: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X About Andrea Andrea Seydel is an author, speaker, and advocate who combines her Master’s in Happiness Studies, positive psychology training, and lived experience to support those navigating addiction relationships. Her work focuses on helping individuals make aligned decisions rooted in clarity, courage, and self-trust.
Transcribe →246 - The Book Our SYKM Community Was Meant to Write
Jul 900:14:44Tap to summarizeThe pre-order is officially here! I am beyond excited to announce the release of our newest book: When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective. This book has truly been a labour of love. Twenty-seven courageous individuals from the Saving You Is Killing Me (SYKM) community came together to share their deeply personal stories of loving someone with an addiction. These are stories of heartbreak, hope, courage, resilience, healing, and the incredible strength it takes to keep moving forward. In this episode, I share the story behind the book—why I felt called to create this collective, how it came together, and why I believe these stories have the power to help countless others realize they are not alone. If you have ever loved someone with an addiction, this book was written for you. Inside these pages you'll discover that while every story is unique, so many of the emotions are shared. The confusion. The fear. The hope. The grief. The walking on eggshells. The longing to rescue someone you love. Most importantly, you'll discover that even when love is not enough to save someone else, it can become the beginning of saving yourself. A heartfelt thank you to every contributor who trusted us with their story. Your courage will make a difference in the lives of readers around the world. I'm also deeply grateful to Mike O'Riley, founder of The Art of Recovery Magazine, for writing such a meaningful foreword and helping set the tone for this important collection. The official paperback launch is July 24 – International Self-Care Day. If you're listening before then, you can pre-order the digital edition today. If you're listening after July 24, both the paperback and digital editions are available wherever books are sold. 📚 Order Your Copy When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective Available wherever books are sold. In This Episode Why I created When Love Is Not Enough The story behind the SYKM Collective Why twenty-seven brave individuals chose to share their stories The meaning behind the title How stories create connection, hope, and healing Why this book is for anyone who has loved someone with an addiction If this episode resonates with you, please consider sharing it with someone who may need it. Together, we can help more people feel seen, supported, and a little less alone. Sending hugs, Andrea Seydel
Transcribe →245 - Tainted Love (Part 1): When Addiction Warps the Relationship You Once Knew
Jul 900:16:31Tap to summarizeTainted Love (Part 1): When Addiction Warps the Relationship You Once Knew At some point, many people find themselves quietly asking a question they never thought they would have to ask: “What happened to us?” What once felt stable, connected, and loving slowly begins to shift. The person you knew is still there… but something feels off. Conversations feel different. Energy feels different. The relationship begins to feel unpredictable in a way that is hard to explain. This episode explores what happens when addiction slowly warps the emotional foundation of a relationship, creating what Andrea calls tainted love. It’s not that love disappears — it’s that it becomes entangled with chaos, inconsistency, and emotional instability. Psychologically, this often involves patterns like intermittent reinforcement, where moments of connection are mixed unpredictably with moments of hurt, confusion, or distance. This creates a powerful emotional pull, making it difficult to step back even when things no longer feel healthy. Over time, this dynamic can distort your sense of what is normal. You may begin adjusting, accommodating, and trying to hold onto the version of the relationship that once existed. But here’s the truth that begins to emerge: When love becomes unpredictable, it also becomes confusing. And confusion is often the first sign that something deeper has shifted. This episode invites you to begin seeing that shift clearly — not with judgment, but with awareness. If this resonates, this is the exact dynamic explored more deeply in: 👉 Tainted Love: Stay or Go? Navigating Tough Relationship Decisions in Addiction A powerful guide for understanding when love has changed — and how to begin navigating what comes next. 💛 Continue the Journey 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com Explore Andrea’s books: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X 💛 About Andrea Andrea Seydel holds a Master’s in Happiness Studies and is trained in Positive Psychology and resilience science. Through both lived experience and professional training, she supports individuals navigating the emotional complexity of loving someone with addiction — helping them reconnect with themselves through Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Community, and Courage.
Transcribe →244 - When Sobriety Doesn’t Bring Them Back: Why the Relationship Still Feels Different
Jul 200:16:31Tap to summarizeWhen Sobriety Doesn’t Bring Them Back: Why the Relationship Still Feels Different Many partners expect sobriety to restore connection. But what happens when substances stop, and emotional distance remains? In this episode, Andrea explores dopamine depletion, early recovery brain healing, emotional flatness (anhedonia), and the difference between sobriety and relational repair. If you’re wondering, “They’re sober… so why does it still feel off?” — this episode offers insight and grounding. In This Episode: What happens to the brain in early sobriety • Why emotional intimacy may not immediately return • The difference between behavioral sobriety and emotional repair • Attachment patterns resurfacing • How to evaluate your relationship with clarity 💛 Continue the Journey Resources and support: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com Books: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X 💛 About Andrea Andrea integrates positive psychology science and lived experience to help you reclaim yourself without guilt or confusion.
Transcribe →243 - How Do You Let Them Go? When Love and Fear Are Entangled
Jun 2500:20:31Tap to summarizeHow Do You Let Them Go? When Love and Fear Are Entangled Letting go isn’t just emotional — it can feel physical. Your chest tightens. You panic when you see overdose news. You feel responsible for keeping them safe. In this episode, Andrea explains attachment activation, hypervigilance, and the fear-responsibility loop that makes stepping back feel impossible. When love and fear become intertwined, your nervous system can interpret separation as danger. This conversation helps you separate love from obligation and clarity from panic. In This Episode: Why your nervous system reacts so intensely • Attachment trauma and separation anxiety in adults • The fear-responsibility loop • Hypervigilance and scanning for danger • How to make decisions from steadiness instead of fear 💛 Continue the Journey Visit: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com Explore Andrea’s books: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X Including: • Saving You Is Killing Me • Tainted Love • Saving Me: One Day at a Time 💛 About Andrea Andrea Seydel holds a Master’s in Happiness Studies and formal training in Positive Psychology. Through lived experience and evidence-based insight, she helps individuals move from survival mode into clarity, strength, and self-trust.
Transcribe →242 - When “Perfect” Turns Into Chaos: Trauma Bonds, Relapse & Emotional Whiplash
Jun 1800:26:34Tap to summarizeWhen “Perfect” Turns Into Chaos: Trauma Bonds, Relapse & Emotional Whiplash When a relationship that once felt safe and loving suddenly spirals after relapse, the emotional whiplash can leave you questioning everything — including yourself. In this episode, Andrea explores trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement, and why intensity can feel like intimacy. You’ll learn why relapse destabilizes attachment, how dopamine cycles distort connection, and how your nervous system can become hooked on unpredictability. If you’ve ever thought, “How did something that felt so perfect turn into this?” — this episode will help you understand what’s happening psychologically and emotionally. In This Episode: What trauma bonding really is • How intermittent reinforcement keeps you attached • Why relapse creates emotional instability • The difference between intensity and intimacy • How to begin calming your nervous system
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