Podcast
Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone With An Addiction
Hosted by Andrea Seydel · EN
Do you love someone with an addiction? Are you struggling?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Whether you are dealing with the turmoil that comes from loving someone with an addiction or feeling broken and knocked down from the aftermath, Saving You Is Killing Me is your go-to book and podcast that can help you take back your power and your life.
26episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
238 - They're a Different Person Now: Grieving the Partner Who Disappeared
2w ago00:17:49Tap to summarizeThey're a Different Person Now: Grieving the Partner Who Disappeared Addiction can slowly change someone’s personality, priorities, and emotional availability — leaving you grieving someone who is still physically present. In this episode, Andrea discusses ambiguous loss, attachment disruption, and how to process grief without suppressing it. You’ll learn: What ambiguous loss is Why grief feels confusing when the person is still alive How to stop chasing temporary “good days” Simple grief rituals that help stabilize your heart This episode centers on Self-Care and Courage as you learn to grieve honestly and protect your emotional energy. Discover Andrea’s book and healing resources at: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com
Transcribe →237 - The Secret Is Eating Me Alive: Living With Addiction No One Else Knows About
3w ago00:14:36Tap to summarizeThe Secret Is Eating Me Alive: Living With Addiction No One Else Knows About When no one else knows what’s happening in your home, isolation can quietly become overwhelming. In this episode, Andrea explores the emotional and physiological cost of secrecy, including shame, chronic stress activation, and self-silencing. She explains the difference between privacy and secrecy — and how safe connection restores clarity. You’ll learn: Why secrets activate your nervous system How shame grows in silence The importance of one safe “reality mirror” How to gently break isolation without oversharing This conversation weaves in Self-Compassion and Community as antidotes to silent suffering. For more guidance and support tools, visit: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com
Transcribe →236 - Feeling Stuck and Trapped: When You Love Them But You’re Condused
4w ago00:17:29Tap to summarizeI Feel Stuck and Trapped: When You Love Them But You’re Confused Long-term relationships impacted by addiction can slowly erode emotional connection. You may still love them — but no longer feel in love. In this episode, Andrea discusses emotional numbness, learned helplessness, chronic stress, and the experience of feeling trapped in a relationship that once felt safe. You’ll learn: Why emotional shutdown happens after prolonged stress The psychological toll of secrecy and isolation How to shift from “forever decisions” to “next right steps” Ways to rebuild Community and regain your sense of self This episode highlights Self-Compassion and Community as essential stabilizers when you feel stuck. Find additional support and Andrea’s book at: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com
Transcribe →235 - Gutsy Grief: Turning Loss Into Self-Discovery
May 200:32:29Tap to summarizeGutsy Grief: Turning Loss Into Self-Discovery Grief doesn’t always look like loss through death. For those who love someone struggling with addiction, grief can show up in quieter, more complicated ways — grieving the person who is still here but not fully present, grieving broken trust, lost time, and the life you thought you would have. In this deeply honest and meaningful conversation, Andrea is joined by John Jeff Hutter, author of Gutsy Grief: Turning Loss Into Self-Discovery. Together, they explore the reality that grief is not linear, not tidy, and not something to “get over.” Instead, grief can be something we learn to walk with — and even something that invites us into deeper self-discovery. John Jeff brings both lived experience and academic insight through his Master’s in Happiness Studies, sharing a grounded and compassionate perspective on what it means to navigate loss and rebuild yourself in the aftermath. This episode is especially meaningful for anyone who: Loves someone with an addiction Feels the ongoing grief of “losing” someone who is still alive Is navigating emotional exhaustion, confusion, or heartbreak Is ready to move from survival toward healing and self-reconnection In This Episode, We Explore: Why grief doesn’t follow stages, timelines, or predictable patterns The concept of grieving someone who is still alive Letting go of guilt around your grief The emotional toll of repeated losses in addiction How to hold both hope and heartbreak at the same time Reclaiming your identity after losing yourself in someone else’s struggle What it means to have agency in the aftermath of loss Turning grief into a path of self-discovery and growth A Message for You If you’re listening and feeling the weight of loving someone with an addiction, please know this: Your grief is real. Your experience matters. And you are allowed to take care of yourself, too. Get the Book You can find Gutsy Grief: Turning Loss Into Self-Discovery by John Jeff Hutter wherever books are sold. This is more than a book — it’s a companion for anyone learning how to live with loss and still move forward with intention and strength. Stay Connected with Andrea Explore more support, resources, and conversations at: https://linktr.ee/Andreaseydel www.savingyouiskillingme.com
Transcribe →234 - When Addiction Crosses Boundaries: Betrayal, Shock & Protection
Apr 3000:19:20Tap to summarizeWhen Addiction Crosses Boundaries: Betrayal, Shock & Protection Sometimes addiction escalates into secret sexual behavior, pornography use, online chat groups, or other boundary-crossing actions that leave you in shock. This episode addresses betrayal trauma, emotional shock, and the physiological impact of discovering hidden sexual behavior. Andrea discusses why your body reacts so strongly, how to prioritize safety, and how to protect yourself and your children when trust is broken. You’ll learn: What betrayal trauma is and why it feels overwhelming Why your nervous system may feel physically shaken How to shift from relationship panic to safety stabilization Practical first steps to protect your emotional and physical well-being This conversation centers on Courage and Self-Care — especially when your role shifts from partner to protector. For deeper tools and support, explore Andrea’s book and resources at: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com
Transcribe →233 - When They Say It’s Not a Problem: Mood Swings, Denial & the Damage of Gaslighting
Apr 2300:20:43Tap to summarizeWhen They Say It’s Not a Problem: Mood Swings, Denial & the Damage of Gaslighting When you see the mood swings, the secrecy, the behavioral shifts — but they insist nothing is wrong — it can leave you questioning your sanity. In this episode, Andrea explores the psychological impact of addiction-related denial, including gaslighting, hypervigilance, cognitive dissonance, and the toll it takes on your nervous system. If you’ve been feeling anxious, physically unwell, or unsure of your own perception, this conversation will help you reclaim clarity and emotional stability. You’ll learn: Why denial destabilizes your nervous system How gaslighting slowly erodes self-trust The difference between arguing reality and responding to impact Practical ways to ground yourself and set emotional boundaries This episode is rooted in Self-Compassion and Courage — two of the core pillars of healing when loving someone with addiction. If this resonates, Andrea’s book Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone with an Addiction offers deeper support and structured guidance. Learn more and access resources at: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com
Transcribe →232 - Love, Loss & Letting Go: When the Person You Knew Disappears
Apr 1600:17:38Tap to summarizeLove, Loss & Letting Go: When the Person You Knew Disappears Addiction can slowly transform someone you love into a version you no longer recognize. In this episode, Andrea discusses ambiguous loss, grief, trauma attachment, and the heartbreak of loving someone who feels emotionally gone. You’ll learn: What ambiguous loss really means Why letting go feels so complicated How trauma bonds keep hope alive Practical steps to reclaim your emotional stability This episode weaves Self-Care and Courage into the process of release and self-respect. Explore Andrea’s book Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone with an Addiction and access additional support at: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com
Transcribe →231 - Am I Overreacting? When Addiction Feels Like a Questioning Yourself Dilemma
Apr 900:17:48Tap to summarizeAm I Overreacting? When Addiction in Parenthood Feels Like a Moral Dilemma When addiction enters the home, especially with children present, you may question your instincts. In this episode, Andrea addresses gaslighting, parental hypervigilance, and the internal conflict between protection and partnership. You’ll learn: Why your protective instinct is biologically wired How minimization distorts perception The psychological toll of unpredictability in parenting How to define non-negotiables without escalating conflict This episode highlights Self-Compassion and Community as stabilizing forces. Learn more about protecting your peace while parenting through addiction at: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com
Transcribe →230 - Breaking the Guilt Loop: Saying No Without Shame
Apr 200:20:33Tap to summarizeBreaking the Guilt Loop: Saying No Without Shame When your addicted loved one asks for money, favors, or help and you say no guilt can feel overwhelming. In this episode, Andrea explores trauma bonds, guilt conditioning, and why saying no can feel like betrayal even when it’s healthy. You’ll learn: Why guilt doesn’t always mean you’re wrong How trauma bonding reinforces over-responsibility The difference between compassion and rescue How to set boundaries without spiraling into shame This episode emphasizes Self-Compassion and Courage as you break old patterns and reclaim your autonomy. Find deeper support and Andrea’s book at: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com
Transcribe →Turn Pain into Purpose: A Special Invitation to Join Our Collective Book
Mar 2600:11:00Tap to summarizeTurn Pain into Purpose: A Special Invitation to Join Our Collective Book This is a special episode — a personal invitation. If you’ve ever loved someone with an addiction, you already understand the complexity, the heartbreak, and the strength it takes to keep going. This episode is an invitation to be part of something deeply meaningful. We are creating a powerful collective book: When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction This will be a professionally published collection of real, honest stories from people who have loved someone with an addiction and are ready to share their experience — not perfectly, but truthfully. This book is about: • The reality of loving someone through addiction • The emotional toll and internal struggle • The moments that shift everything • The journey of reclaiming yourself • And the message you would share with someone still in it 💛 This is a mission-driven project. There is no contributor fee. Publishing is fully supported through Live Life Happy Publishing. 📚 We are looking for 24–30 contributors. 🗓 Key Dates: • Application Deadline: May 1, 2026 • Chapter Submission: May 15, 2026 • Final Edits Complete: June 1, 2026 • Book Launch: July 24 (International Self-Care Day) You do not need to be a writer. You just need to be willing to share your story. If your heart is feeling even a small nudge… follow it. 👉 Apply and learn more here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1uV9qoYYdQJparWNC5gVHywUOYV0TcfrK?usp=drive_link Your story could be the one that helps someone else feel less alone.
Transcribe →