Balancing on Booboo Bogus Bracelets w/ Jon Gabrus

Summary

Scam Goddess Podcast Episode Summary: "Balancing on Booboo Bogus Bracelets w/ Jon Gabrus"

Release Date: April 29, 2025

Introduction and Guest Appearance

In the episode titled "Balancing on Booboo Bogus Bracelets," Scam Goddess host Laci Mosley welcomes comedian and actor Jon Gabrus to delve into one of the most notorious scams in the wellness industry: Power Balance bracelets. The episode promises a blend of humor and insightful analysis as the hosts dissect how such fraudulent products captivate consumers.

The Power Balance Scam Unveiled

Laci opens the discussion by detailing the Power Balance phenomenon, where the company marketed silicone bracelets embedded with holograms, claiming they could enhance the wearer's strength, balance, and flexibility. "Nothing has a frequency until you hit it and it vibrates," Laci explains ([38:29]), highlighting the pseudoscientific jargon used to legitimize the product's claims.

Aggressive Marketing and Celebrity Endorsements

A significant focus of the episode is on Power Balance's aggressive marketing strategies, particularly their use of high-profile celebrity endorsements. Jon humorously notes, "They even had Shaquille O'Neal attesting to the bracelet's benefits," ([53:57]), emphasizing how these endorsements created an illusion of credibility and effectiveness without any scientific basis.

The Placebo Effect and Consumer Psychology

The hosts delve into the psychological mechanisms that made the Power Balance bracelets so effective as a scam, primarily the placebo effect. Laci states, "It's all in people's heads," ([45:55]), underscoring how belief and expectation can lead consumers to perceive benefits that aren't scientifically supported. Jon adds, "All this arm push down stuff isn't real balance," ([33:59]), mocking the lack of tangible benefits provided by the bracelets.

Scientific Discreditation and Legal Repercussions

The conversation progresses to how scientific scrutiny and legal actions unraveled the scam. Laci highlights, "In 2010, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission found that the Power Balance bracelet claims were misleading and breached advertising code," ([62:19]). They discuss how independent studies revealed no significant differences in performance between those wearing Power Balance bracelets and placebo versions, leading to regulatory crackdowns and the company's eventual bankruptcy.

Cultural Impact and the Allure of Quick Fixes

Reflecting on societal trends, Laci and Jon critique the widespread fascination with quick-fix wellness solutions. Jon quips, "It's like processed sugar—it doesn't react positively with the human body," ([33:45]), drawing parallels between nonsensical health claims and everyday misconceptions. They argue that the allure of easy improvements often blinds consumers to the lack of real benefits behind such products.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up the episode, Laci and Jon emphasize the importance of skepticism and informed decision-making in the face of deceptive marketing. They encourage listeners to critically evaluate wellness claims and remain vigilant against products that promise unrealistic benefits without credible evidence. Laci concludes with her signature humor, reinforcing the podcast's mission to expose fraud through entertaining and educational discourse.

Notable Quotes:

• "Nothing has a frequency until you hit it and it vibrates." – Laci Mosley ([38:29])
• "All this arm push down stuff isn't real balance." – Jon Gabrus ([33:59])
• "In 2010, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission found that the Power Balance bracelet claims were misleading and breached advertising code." – Laci Mosley ([62:19])

Key Takeaways:

• Power Balance Bracelets as a Case Study: The episode uses Power Balance bracelets to illustrate how pseudoscientific claims and celebrity endorsements can drive fraudulent product success.
• Placebo Effect's Role: The placebo effect plays a crucial role in the perceived effectiveness of such scams, demonstrating the power of consumer belief.
• Regulatory Oversight: Scientific studies and legal actions are essential in exposing and curbing fraudulent practices in the wellness industry.
• Consumer Vigilance: Listeners are urged to employ critical thinking and skepticism when evaluating wellness products, ensuring they aren't deceived by superficial marketing tactics.

This episode of Scam Goddess delivers a compelling mix of humor and critical analysis, offering listeners both entertainment and valuable insights into the mechanics of wellness scams. By dissecting the Power Balance bracelet scam, Laci Mosley and Jon Gabrus educate their audience on the importance of skepticism and informed decision-making in combating deceptive marketing practices.

Transcript

[Lacy Mosley]

Y'all know how Amazon was just previously used to, you know, go on and get something very specific, like, you want some earrings that look like Michelle Obama or something, like, just very specific that you can't buy in a store? Well, now, Amazon is a great place to get all your essentials. You can get your toiletries. You can have them scheduled to deliver your toiletries, which I do, because I be running out of toilet paper, and that's very embarrassing. Like, to be on the toilet and you don't have no paper. Like, that's. That's very sad and embarrassing. Can't believe I told y'all that. But next time you run out of coffee or realize you out of light bulbs, don't be in the dark. Amazon has you covered. Save every day with deals from Amazon. Y'all know when your hair kind of gets, like, greasy and. And you need to wash it, but you don't have time to wash it? Enter Batiste Light. Batiste Light blends in seamlessly with your hair, leaving none of that white residue. And your hair looks clean and it feels clean. Okay? I like Batiste Light because whenever my hair is feeling, like, greasy or oily, you know, when I've wrapped it too many times or whatever, I can put that in my hair, and it kind of wakes it back up, you know what I mean? Without it looking white or powdery or, you know, like, I just put a bunch of baby powder in my hair or something. You know what I mean? Buy Petite's Light Dry Shampoo online or in store at your nearest retailer. Scams. Cause robbery, fraud. Scam. Car robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's poppin, congregation? It's your girl, Lacy Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, back with another installment of the comedy podcast all about robbery fraud and those who practice it. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. We will get to know along the way. If you are an OG member of the congregation, go ahead and stand up. Cause, you know, I'm Barry. What? Yes. Excited, thrilled, elated. Today we have one of the funniest humans I get the privilege to call a friend, y'all. I got to know him early in his career performing at ucb, and he continues to kill it as an actor and a comedian in these streets. He's an OG of this show who hosts his own Patreon podcast, some of you may know, called Action Boyz. Yes, you've heard of it. Action Boys on Patreon. But look, this is just in. Okay? And it's hot, hot, hot. Okay, okay, okay, okay. He just released his newest podcast called Staying Alive last Thursday. Okay, so y'all getting the insit on Staying alive, so, ha, ha ha. Hop your ass over there and listen to Stayin Alive. Yes. It's a new podcast about two comedic besties who just crept into their 40s and need to adjust their lives in order to stay alive. I couldn't be more thrilled to welcome back my friend John Gabris to the show. Congregation.

[John Gabrus]

Welcome, Gabris, my dearest congregation. Guest pastor dropping by the Church of Scam omity to say hello. I'm so pumped to be here, Lacy.

[Lacy Mosley]

I'm so pumped that you are here. And also, like, you very much are kind of giving me guests like youth pastor and James and this hat and.

[John Gabrus]

This I got forward hat. I'm like, you know what? God had tattoos. They were on his hands and his feet.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Or Jesus, rather, is Jesus. I don't know. I'm not religious anymore, so I don't remember.

[Lacy Mosley]

Okay, this is a bad start to your sermon, but we'll.

[John Gabrus]

But we're like, I just came from Pope Francis. I just visited Pope Francis and said hello, shook his hand, and then he said, I'm out of here and killed himself.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yo, the fact that J.D. vance was like the last official meeting with. With Pope Francis, like, that administration can never not take a goofy L. The other day they had like, whatever football team won the championship. Ohio State, where he went Ohio State. And JD Got up there and dropped the trophy.

[John Gabrus]

And then he's like, wow, my week can't get any worse.

[Lacy Mosley]

And then he kills the Pope. What a week. Dropping trophies, killing popes, you know, but.

[John Gabrus]

Hey, destroying demonic crushing. As I say, he's crushing it and leading the country.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. To hell. To hell. Okay. We are right on schedule. To hell.

[John Gabrus]

Okay, Next stop, Hades.

[Lacy Mosley]

Literally. Hell was like, damn, they gonna get here early at this rate. I thought he was dragging them to hell. This is more of like a power walk. We've never had so people. So many people enthusiast to get to hell. So I always ask John, what's your relationship with scams? Have you scams happened recently? Have you been scammed any that you're just interested in? It could be literally anything.

[John Gabrus]

I feel like I've been. Well, I grew up on Long island, where everyone aspires to be a light scammer. Like any kind. Even, like, to this date, like my 60th 65 year old mother, if she's got some kind of like, loophole that she's exploiting, she loves to talk about it. She's like, well, Jonathan, the thing is, they don't actually weigh the salad till after, you know, like some kind of, like, weird scam. And there's always just this pride in taking it. But it's never scamming other people. That was like the power. Like, scamming, Scamming corporations and entities scamming us. No, scamming down.

[Lacy Mosley]

No scamming down all their fake flation. All of their. Yeah, it's like we have to even the playing field a little bit.

[John Gabrus]

Recently, I think I. I got one of these light scams where I didn't get flight insurance and I got charged for it. And I can't tell if someone did this on me or if I did it myself. And then there's no paper trail to figure out. And luckily I'm at this place in my life where I could say, I don't know if this 2473 is actually my money. I'm just not gonna touch it. Whatever, fine, I'll eat $24.73. But it is driving me up a fucking wall that I'm like, I didn't spend this money and now I' like. But now I have to eat it because it's too much effort otherwise. And that's the kind of shit that gets me all worked up is when, like, corporations know that. It's like, oh, we'll just exhaust you. Like, oh, yeah. Oh, you want your $8 back? Yeah, no problem. Hold on. Just put you on hold for this. Put you on hold for this. Put you on hold.

[Lacy Mosley]

These are my riddles. Three under this bridge and just.

[John Gabrus]

They just know you'll give up. And I say this spiel so much. Like, in this fucking society we live in, I am computer savvy. I speak fluent English, and I'm pretty fucking smart. That is not true for every single person. And, like, it must be. You are like, like a non English speaking mother of three trying to get your fucking $18.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, you're not getting that $18.

[John Gabrus]

A fucking nightmare. You're doing two jobs and being a mom and hitting two for espanol. And you're still like. Like, that's got to be. So you have to, like, dedicate a half day each week to, like, being unscammed. You have to be like, all right, well, Mondays from 10, work on stopping these scams that are happening to me.

[Lacy Mosley]

That's just my dedicated scam stop time. Other people meditate. It's like, no, I just, like, get my folder out and I start fighting every business that's scamming me currently.

[John Gabrus]

You kind of have to. Because in order to stave off the unending waves of scams that are coming at you, some that you are willingly participating in in some capacity, and some that you don't even realize are happening, you know, you. You wake up with, like, I wake up with, like, four missed calls from my Long island area code every day. And all of them are just like, hello, hello. Or asking me about my mom's home address and if I'm willing to sell.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

And that terrifies me a little bit. I don't like that I'm, like, connected to an actual address that is connected to my family. Right.

[Lacy Mosley]

That they have a little bit of real information going on.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. That actually kind of sketches me out a little bit.

[Lacy Mosley]

Like, hey, John Gabriz, how you doing? Love the last podcast episode of Action Boys. Wanted to know how you felt about selling your mother's home. Like, sir, why are you calling me with this? In any other nation, I feel like that would be the weirdest thing that people can call us directly to our phones and try that. And loan consolidation. I get three of those calls each day, and I don't even have loans. Exactly. I don't have what they're. They were like, we can consolidate up to 84,000. I said, who got 84,000?

[John Gabrus]

I don't have. I'm 43. I paid off college. I'm done. I'm finally done. I don't want to talk about this shit no more.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, and more so I don't want to talk about this shit no more. Like, the fuck is you calling for? This is like, some ex situation. I feel like we're going into the past. Like, I'm not that girl. That girl anymore. I don't know her.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. The last thing I need is, like, some podcast listener who knows my mom's address. Some chuckle fucker throws like, a Molotov cocktail through my window or some shit.

[Lacy Mosley]

Damn. It's gonna get that deep. They just wanna sell it.

[John Gabrus]

I can't believe he said on Scam Goddess that JD Vance is a piece of shit. I love him. Blow my fucking mom's house up.

[Lacy Mosley]

Lord. I blocked the number, but they always find new ways to call you, bro.

[John Gabrus]

I have, like, hundreds of numbers blocked like, of. But I'm also like, what if someone else, like, gets that phone? Like, how are scammers spoofing numbers? Am I blocking?

[Lacy Mosley]

Like, yeah, they spoof numbers for sure. That's how they have the fake numbers that can call. And it looks like it's from the Social Security office, but it's using some techno, like some software to change the way that their number appears when it comes to your phone.

[John Gabrus]

And so. And that's so frustrating. Cause I get it a lot from like my. You know, like, they know what they're doing. It's like the area code of where I grew up. So I'm like, is it my mom calling from the hospital? Is it my someone calling about something? And it's just like, hello, hello, hello. And that's usually what it is. Is someone just saying. Cause I let it go to voicemail. They just say hello three times and then hang up.

[Lacy Mosley]

They don't read your little script. They be reading a little script in my voicemail.

[John Gabrus]

I got a script every. I gotta. You know, if I.

[Lacy Mosley]

You're just getting.

[John Gabrus]

You did it for an audition, right?

[Lacy Mosley]

Ye. Yeah. I actually auditioned to be one of them telemarketers. They said it wasn't the right job.

[John Gabrus]

For me, but I wasn't too booked and busy. We can't. We can't. You got a third show and you're a telemarketer scammer now?

[Lacy Mosley]

I was. Look, you know, times are going to be hard now with the tariffs, okay? You gotta get a new phone number. I got a new. Hello, this is me from Calcredit Consolidators, United America States. Are you poor? They said. Okay. They told me. I stopped asking people if they were poor. Okay, My bad. Are you experiencing financial poorness? Just don't make pour at all.

[John Gabrus]

It's the same shit.

[Lacy Mosley]

Okay, okay. Are you broke as fuck? No. Okay. They said, I can't say that. Like, I would. Yeah, I would go off script concept. Like what y'all eating over there? Ooh, that smell good. Well, it sound like it smell good. Would you like to eat more of it? Once you consolidated all of your loans per person.

[John Gabrus]

What if I told you you could have calzones every weekend? All you have to do is consolidate your three. You have. Oh, wait, you have no loans. Okay. Yeah, sorry. I'm looking at my chart here. Would your mom sell her house? What about her car? 89 Buick's entry. Wait, what about your mom? Sell that little dress. You know the one I'm talking about? The little red one.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, you.

[John Gabrus]

What the fuck?

[Lacy Mosley]

Who is this? She too grown for that dress anyway. Yeah, I saw. Yeah, she wore it to your cousin's wedding. When she think about selling that. Cause we also have a deal with Poshmark so she can sell all her hoochie ass Clothes off. Because she too grown for that.

[John Gabrus]

Mom, they want to sell your hoochie ass. Clothes off.

[Lacy Mosley]

Look, we just try to sell anything we can of yours.

[John Gabrus]

That's fucking terrifying to know that much about me. I get stressed out.

[Lacy Mosley]

But then another way, we do put all of our information on the Internet, so it's kind of like, rife for that.

[John Gabrus]

Well, that's another thing that this is how I know I'm old. It's like every time I do anything, I have to give them, like, my email just to come to Sirius. I have to put my email, my phone number, who. I'm like, all this information.

[Lacy Mosley]

You gave us a real email. That's crazy.

[John Gabrus]

I know. What am I doing?

[Lacy Mosley]

Yo, Jessica, make sure we get that information.

[John Gabrus]

Lacey, you scammed to get my email. An email you definitely have, but you're going all about just to win this little miniature scam.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes. Sometimes it's about the feeling. It's about the high. Okay? It's not always about the stealing. Sometimes it's about the healing.

[John Gabrus]

Ooh, I like this. You ever go to, like, one of these sites and they're like, please put in your like, oh, I use this site all the time. Let me just put my email and password in there. They're like, great. Welcome back, Lacy. Just to prove it's you, can you give us your phone number? And we're going to text you six digits, and then you're going to put those six digits in, and then you're like, okay, great, I did that. Then you're like, click, remember me. And then an hour later, you come to go back to the same site.

[Lacy Mosley]

Who is this?

[John Gabrus]

Who the fuck is this?

[Lacy Mosley]

Who are you? What do you want?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Or my computer will say, like, we recognize a login of your computer on a different device. And I'm like, is it Because I'm looking at my phone right now, and I'm like, I hit accept. And then my phone is like, do you accept that someone's allowed to look at your phone? I'm like, it's me. Hello, phone.

[Lacy Mosley]

I love a two step, though. I've been hacked too many times. So I'm like, let's do a two step. Let's.

[John Gabrus]

Are you at the two step? Should I be two stepping?

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, you got a two step. You got a two step. It's not just a dance, guys. When you get older, you literally got to hit that password, two step.

[John Gabrus]

The amount of black people in my life tell me I got to learn to two step. Is it very interesting. This is the first one, that's about authentication. And not just dancing.

[Lacy Mosley]

No, you got to dance while you do it. You do have two steps.

[John Gabrus]

That's why I call it though.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes, you do have to. It's like you shuffling side to side while you entering your, you know, your date of birth and favorite plant. You know, security questions.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, and then you see fucking people on Twitter. Be like, retweet this with your grandma's maiden name. It's like, guys, this is people looking for your fucking questions.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, and you should retweet it. When I tweet stuff like that, you should definitely retweet it. Okay. And mom's first car, first home address.

[John Gabrus]

Last four digits of your social. You know what? Fuck it. Give me the first five too.

[Lacy Mosley]

Right? I just want to get to know you. Okay.

[John Gabrus]

What's your PayPal password again?

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, that was the first number anybody gave you at your.

[John Gabrus]

At your hinge prompt.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

What's your PayPal password?

[Lacy Mosley]

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[John Gabrus]

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[Lacy Mosley]

Let's get into historic hoodwinks here. I'm a regale John with the famous con caper. Group of criminals we don't know yet. Maybe we like them, maybe we hate them. We'll see. But today we're going to time travel. Oh, I love that we're time traveling all the way back to the year 2010.

[John Gabrus]

Whoa.

[Lacy Mosley]

That was almost 15 years ago.

[John Gabrus]

It's crazy.

[Lacy Mosley]

Can you believe?

[John Gabrus]

It's so funny that in 2010 I was old. I was 28.

[Lacy Mosley]

I think I was an adult. I was for sure an adult. So, as you might notice, all the biggest athletes in the world had something in common at that time. They were wearing the same accessory. A bracelet that uses the power of holograms to make you stronger, faster, and more flexible. Ooh, ooh. And sexier too.

[John Gabrus]

Okay.

[Lacy Mosley]

Probably.

[John Gabrus]

I need this shit in my life. I don't care if it's a stupid.

[Lacy Mosley]

So we have the bracelets up there. This is the powered energy bracelets. Of course, you know, they didn't work, but everyone from Robert De Niro to Bill Clinton was rocking these bracelets, these balance bracelets that with their sexy enhancements.

[John Gabrus]

They look so fucking corn. They look worse than the Lance Armstrong Livestrong bracelets. People who are on the IG have seen this already, but for the listeners, it looks like a bad kids watch. But in lieu of where the watch face is, it's like a fucking hologram POG or some shit. It's just like, yeah, it is kind.

[Lacy Mosley]

Of giving Spy Kids.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

Like, you gotta put your bracelet next to somebody else's. And then the power is activated.

[John Gabrus]

They change colors or they magnetize together. And you're like, that's about as cute as it gets.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

That's fucking crazy. I. I do understand, though, being like an old bloke at the time and getting and seeing these and going like, well, it can't hurt my. You know, it's not like taking weird pills or something. So you're Robert De Niro. You're like, oh, maybe I'll try this on. You know, you slap that bad boy on. See what it is. Bill Clinton needs all the power balance he can get in his life. Yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

Cause, you know, sometimes he stoops low, and then the next thing you know, a blow job's happening. So he's like. He got these right after Monica Lewinsky.

[John Gabrus]

He was like, I gotta keep my Balance? Yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

He was like, I was wobbling over when I had sex with her. But now I got this balance bracelet on. I'm not sleeping with none of my interns.

[John Gabrus]

I put it around the base of my cock.

[Lacy Mosley]

No, Johnny needs to be putting it on his arm so he can stay balanced. When he didn't have it, he was falling down into people's mouths. So he needed. So there was bracelet fever. Okay. Around the same time.

[John Gabrus]

We're kind of embarrassed as a society about this. Right.

[Lacy Mosley]

About bracelet fever.

[John Gabrus]

I'm sorry to say, but your son died. He contracted bracelet fever.

[Lacy Mosley]

Bracelet fever? Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

There's no known cure.

[Lacy Mosley]

No known cure. They said something about taking the bracelet off. We haven't tried it yet. We haven't tried it, but there are experimental trials going on with removing the bracelet. So in the late aughts, they were like, crazy for wristwear. From Livestrong bracelets, like you mentioned, John, to Magnetic Ambulance. That would heal or optimize you for the low, low price of 29.95.

[John Gabrus]

That's another thing, too. I, I, I. You don't want to spend a ton of money, but when something's like, look, it'll fix your life. It's 18 bucks. You're like, how? How is this shit only 20? Like, you can't tell me it's got all these properties and it's only $30. That is ugly af. I mean, that's the shit that, like, a guy named Kombucha Jesus comes into your house. The guy who sells you mushrooms is constantly barefoot. Yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

He doesn't wear anything on his feet, but he's always got something on his wrist.

[John Gabrus]

It's best for balance. Yeah. I remember there was a lot of copper stuff at the time, too. Like a sleeve inside of it. Underwear with copper. Like.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. We really thought we were doing something with it. I thought we were supposed to rip that out of walls that were like.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. I thought when the landlord kicked you out, you just took all the carpet.

[Lacy Mosley]

Copper. I didn't know you were making. Somebody was taking all the copper after getting evicted. Was like, you know what? I'm gonna make bracelets.

[John Gabrus]

I'm bracelets. And then mad heads keep getting, like, electrocuted.

[Lacy Mosley]

No, no, no. That just means that you are upset. The world is sending electricity to you.

[John Gabrus]

That's what it's for. That's the power balance. You have the balance of power now. Yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

And this is so right. And it's so ugly. It looks like a hair tie and then somebody just wrapped, like, a old, like, Gum wrapper around it and was like, this is something.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, man. And does that say eye renew?

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

This is of the era where they were putting the lowercase eye in front of stuff to try to run off the ipod and iPad. Power of, like, we're pretty much the same thing.

[Lacy Mosley]

Cause we got a little I. We don't capitalize our eyes either.

[John Gabrus]

We're just like Apple. And yes, we are a hair tie. We're a scrunchie company, but we are just like Apple.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. No, that branding, though, that definitely gives me, like, Apple product. Once they. They say I renew, I was. I'm on board.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I'm in. Let's fuck it.

[Lacy Mosley]

I was gonna put it in my hair, but now I'm gonna put it everywhere. And I love that for all of us. So 29.99 seems like a lot to me for a piece of rubber, but okay. In 2007, a company called Power Balance began selling silicone bracelets embedded with holograms designed to interact with the body's natural energy flow.

[John Gabrus]

Now, look, I'm all woo wooed out, and I've been living in LA for 15 years.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, so you were fully woo wooed.

[John Gabrus]

Married to a white woman. That about this stuff a lot. I can't imagine how a hologram, which is just a visual thing, harnesses any power. It's like saying, like, this pointillism. Drawing will harness the power. It just doesn't. I can't rather.

[Lacy Mosley]

No, because you got to think about it. It's like the energy is coming out. And everybody knows that energy really loves to, like, just jizz out of your wrist.

[John Gabrus]

It comes out of your wrist.

[Lacy Mosley]

Energy right here just shoots out every day.

[John Gabrus]

That's why the lady at the perfume counter hits you up.

[Lacy Mosley]

All the energy, the power is right there on that wrist. So you're putting on this bracelet and the hologram's fighting that, and they refracted.

[John Gabrus]

I'm only familiar with, like, holograms from, like, comic book covers and. And like collectible cards and like. Like that. Or like Trapper keepers that were holograms or whatever. Now you're telling me actually these have healing properties. Like if I put my binder on my back when I was in high.

[Lacy Mosley]

School or you never text like a Charizard to your chest. You never did that?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I only when I'm flying for safety.

[Lacy Mosley]

Hell, these days you might need that.

[John Gabrus]

Might need a little more than Charizard.

[Lacy Mosley]

They're squir when all the plane industries, like, catch slogan starts to be, we Land. It's like, yeah, we're in trouble. They're like, we get off the ground and we also land over here.

[John Gabrus]

Are you diamond medallion status? Yes. Good. Oh, great. We'll take this plane. This one?

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, yeah. Cause you're definitely gonna land. Okay. You getting on one of them landing planes. Okay, now wait, you said you were flying standby. Okay. We're gonna try to see if we can get you on one of them landing ones.

[John Gabrus]

But do you think a plane would let you on with your. If your carry on was a parachute? Or would they think you were doing something too sketchy? Like, I mean, I have a little bit of terrorist face, but. But I could imagine. I'm like, no, look, it's you guys. I don't trust you guys face.

[Lacy Mosley]

If you grew your beard a little longer, maybe.

[John Gabrus]

You know what I have? I have more. I have like domestic terrorist face. I look like a Jan6. Or like, you know, like, okay, if.

[Lacy Mosley]

You were January6, I would. Knowing you, I would be like, what the hell are you doing here? But if you put on the outfit.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

And stood next to.

[John Gabrus]

If I wore camo. You know what I mean? If I wore like Hunter's camo, I have the face that definitely confuses people, where they'll lean over and be like, that was pretty fucking gay, huh? And I'm like, I'm actually kind of a little gay. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sir. I constantly have to, like, not a bigot.

[Lacy Mosley]

I'm not a bigot, guys. No.

[John Gabrus]

I have this accent and this face. I can't help that. But I am open minded.

[Lacy Mosley]

No, I feel like you're a little too well groomed to be one of those guys. But if you really let it go, stopped washing your hands, really grew the beard out, maybe that's when I have.

[John Gabrus]

To go undercover in the near future to help stop the spread of fascism.

[Lacy Mosley]

Right. You gotta go to the meetings. You gotta go to the secret meetings.

[John Gabrus]

So I need you to keep it a secret when all of a sudden I'm canceled and I go right wing as a podcaster. Understand that that's just me going on. I mean, that's actually a good cover story. I. I was canceled by the government because they needed me to go undercover.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

That's why I groped my assistant.

[Lacy Mosley]

You're saying it now, but I'm sure some comedian is trying it out at this very moment.

[John Gabrus]

Soon enough.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, at this very moment. In fact, some already have. Oh, Lord. But yeah, so they got holograms in them. And, you know, that's really gonna help with your energy and your balance and the flow. I don't know which way the energy's supposed to flow in or out. They don't say. They just said it's flowing. So it was the same year that the first iPhone came out, so it was a big year for cut. So, like you said, they got their lowercase I too, because they were like, we know what the girls are after, the lowercase I.

[John Gabrus]

We're just like the iPhone, except wear a hologram bracelet that helps you heal. Right?

[Lacy Mosley]

Okay, wait, no, it's on my phone.

[John Gabrus]

DM my dick to strangers.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, well, this one, it DM's your energy to strangers.

[John Gabrus]

Okay.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. It's not made out of glass. It's made out of Roubert.

[John Gabrus]

I'm going to direct message you my vibes. Enjoy.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. What's better than that? What's better than that? So they have an ad for the I Renew bracelet that we're going to see here. And we've got a guy in khakis and a polo doing a bit. He looks tech.

[John Gabrus]

Let's face it. We all have times when we feel weak and run down. I'm a student right now, so I'm.

[Lacy Mosley]

Pretty stressed out of my mind. Okay. I need a break. Can I just sit down for a second?

[John Gabrus]

So what if I told you that regaining your strength and feeling renewed was as easy as wearing this?

[Lacy Mosley]

That is so cool.

[John Gabrus]

That's pretty cool. Crazy.

[Lacy Mosley]

Now they got a black person saying, that's crazy.

[John Gabrus]

What is it?

[Lacy Mosley]

Wow.

[John Gabrus]

Hi, I'm.

[Lacy Mosley]

What is it? Wow.

[John Gabrus]

And all these people are excited about Irenew, the revolutionary.

[Lacy Mosley]

Wait, can we pause it?

[John Gabrus]

The revolutionary bracelet is an insane. By the way, the dude put it on and went, wow. No demonstration of what it did, what it did or anything.

[Lacy Mosley]

And then the black person, we know it ain't doing because they were like, that's crazy.

[John Gabrus]

That's crazy.

[Lacy Mosley]

That could literally mean anything. But when black people say, that's crazy, that usually means we're not listening to your story or, you know, we're like, kind of tun. Oh, that's crazy.

[John Gabrus]

The frequency in which I hear a black person say, that's crazy is when they're holding a FaceTime that's open that they're not looking at and their friend is talking, and they go, that's crazy. That's crazy.

[Lacy Mosley]

For real. Damn. It's like, I'm very much having an unengaged conversation with you, Lacy.

[John Gabrus]

You are demonstrating the perfect way to hold up the woman. I'm behind in the Coffee shop is talking fully to a friend, and all.

[Lacy Mosley]

They see is the roof of where you're at. And you're like, that's crazy. For real. Damn. And then, like, the one lady was just the old lady. It was like, what does it do? And they cut her off real fast.

[John Gabrus]

We can't explain it.

[Lacy Mosley]

She was like, what does it do? And they were like, see, Everybody's crazy about this new bracelet. I'm like, that last lady asked a question.

[John Gabrus]

They just putting it on people in the mall. And you're like, whoa. Yeah, I feel much stronger. Also, I don't want to pile on people. School is hard, but when someone's like, I'm really stressed right now. I'm a student. I'm like, girl, wait till real life.

[Lacy Mosley]

I don't know. Her eyes look kind of dark under the life. Might have been life in her ass already. Honestly, I was a little concerned for her because it wasn't like she was.

[John Gabrus]

Like, breaking up a little. Right. Well, I'm. I'm a student, so things are pretty heavy right now. Yeah. What are you learning?

[Lacy Mosley]

What are you learning, and who are you learning it with? Because I'm concerned for their safety.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, look at her. Because I'm a child mortician student.

[Lacy Mosley]

Right. This is giving. Like, I'm ready to risk it all. Like, I don't know, girl. We got to get you into the college psychiatrist so we can work out just your issues. I'm worried. I don't know if this bracelet gonna help you, girl.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Also, just people finding people at the mall who are like, you seem depressed. It's like, yeah, well, I'm at this mall, right?

[Lacy Mosley]

That's how they know they can get. They're. Oh, they look sad as fuck. But get them over here. Get the cameras rolling. Get the cameras rolling.

[John Gabrus]

All you gotta say, put this on. Say, that's crazy, and you'll get a $20 gift card to Auntie Ann's Pretzels.

[Lacy Mosley]

And they're like, you know what? I need that gift card.

[John Gabrus]

My kids drive me fucking crazy. I gotta get him a lemonade with 90 grams of sugar in it.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes. Cause that's gonna help calm him down. So we could play a little bit more of this. I think they're gonna tell us what the bracelet does.

[John Gabrus]

Maybe Art Edmonds will tell us.

[Lacy Mosley]

So it's got. Look, they got it in a. What do you call that? When they put it in, like, a green. Behind a green screen, and then they, like, highlight it.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, it's kind of weird. Like, it's like a product shot, but it's very much. This is really embarrassing. I'm embarrassed by their font, like everything. And just the idea of calling a bracelet revolutionary is crazy. There's no new technology here.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, you don't know that yet. Okay. It's got to be.

[John Gabrus]

What are they gonna tell us that is made of that?

[Lacy Mosley]

Facebook's gonna tell it right now. It's gonna tell us.

[John Gabrus]

Without ironu, these people couldn't even stay on their feet after slipping irony. They were amazed at how their balance was instantly restored. And these aren't actors, just regular people.

[Lacy Mosley]

These are people I found in the mall who let me try to push them over celebrities wear it and you've.

[John Gabrus]

Heard the buzz about it on talk TV and the Internet, and you'll experience the difference immediately.

[Lacy Mosley]

Wow.

[John Gabrus]

She always takes me for a ride.

[Lacy Mosley]

Well, the balance alone is amazing.

[John Gabrus]

And it's something else.

[Lacy Mosley]

And is something else.

[John Gabrus]

Highly recommended.

[Lacy Mosley]

Highly recommended. Says guy with Ed Hardy.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, the guy with the. Yeah. What the. It uses natural frequencies.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

What you need to give me one more piece of information there?

[Lacy Mosley]

No, I think natural frequencies is enough. Because we said they frequencies, but they also natural.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. And I'm just supposed to go in like. And that helps me balance how? Like, I love. They don't do the work to leap to the next thing. You're just supposed to go like, oh, well, once my frequencies are naturalized, then my balance will of course improve.

[Lacy Mosley]

You know how balance is directly tied to natural frequencies? Cause that's what I'm always saying when I trip, I'm like, damn it. My natural frequencies so are like listening.

[John Gabrus]

To like FM radio. Is that like unnatural frequency is case.

[Lacy Mosley]

I have great balance.

[John Gabrus]

When I listen to the radio, they're on Hot 97. I'm on One Foot. No problem. No one for the listeners listening, he's practicing. He's pulling these people down by their wrists in the weirdest way possible.

[Lacy Mosley]

It's very bizarre. This went from like, oh, will you try on this bracelet? People are like, oh, that's crazy. So he's like, now let's stand over here so I could push you.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Now he's doing like Steven Seagal level martial arts to them and shit.

[Lacy Mosley]

He's like their hands behind their back and he's like pulling them down. And they look very uncomfortable.

[John Gabrus]

Like you're this woman's husband just standing off camera where like, is this almost done? This guy's got your wife's hands behind her back right now. Look at your balance with your natural frequencies.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. I think you just want to touch people, sir. So Power Balance product included their flagship wristband for 29.95, a 10 pack of stick on embedded holograms for 59.95, a pendant for 39.95, and an eight pack of of pocket hologram cards for 59. So, whoa, that pendant, the bracelet itself is like $30. But if you want to keep getting those holograms. Cause the hologram run out of frequency after a while. You got to change the hologram battery so that you still get frequency. So you gotta pay $60 to get 10 new reusable stick on frequency holograms.

[John Gabrus]

Imagine you're like hooking up with someone and they like pop open their shirt and they have like 12 hologram stickers on their chest. You're like, oh, it's about to be.

[Lacy Mosley]

The best balance sex of your life.

[John Gabrus]

Whoa. They're on one foot while they're going down on me. That's cr.

[Lacy Mosley]

Crazy. See?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Just one black guy going, that's crazy.

[Lacy Mosley]

That's. Wow, that's crazy. You're like, why is he here? Oh, he just follows me around.

[John Gabrus]

I mean, I know why he's here.

[Lacy Mosley]

As requested, he follows me around and says, wow, that's crazy. It does. It does great for your self esteem. And so the company sold 8,000 merchandise in its first year, which went up to more than $35 million in sales in 2010. Because remember, all the merchandise is pretty expensive. So if you're selling 8,000 units and everything is like $60.

[John Gabrus]

Jesus Christ.

[Lacy Mosley]

So these bracelets were sold in 30 countries on six continents. And the company even made a deal for the naming rights to the Sacramento Kings arena, which was briefly called the Power Balance Pavilion from 2011 to 2012.

[John Gabrus]

It. It didn't even last that long. And it's hockey. That's brutal. Wait, that's crazy. Oh, I remember because in the 2010, in the early 2010s, I was a. I was a bit of an adult, and I remember nobody was falling. Falling down. Everyone's balance was.

[Lacy Mosley]

Nobody was falling.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. No one was tripping. Everyone was what?

[Lacy Mosley]

Nobody tripping.

[John Gabrus]

Ain't nobody tripping. You're telling me nobody was tripping? Everyone was fully balanced out. It must have been the bracelet.

[Lacy Mosley]

It must have been. It must have been.

[John Gabrus]

It must have been the revolutionary bracelet.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes. Cause now, you know, in 2025, everybody fucking tripping.

[John Gabrus]

I fell for all this shit. I didn't like fully believe it, but.

[Lacy Mosley]

I thought, did you have one?

[John Gabrus]

I didn't have one. I Didn't believe in this shit. But I, I was never like, no way that's real. You know what I mean? I was always like, who knows? Whatever works for people, works for people. But watching these ads now with a little more understanding of scams and stuff, when they go like, it's revolutionary, but don't explain how that's such a bullshit move.

[Lacy Mosley]

Look, we say what we said. It's a revolution on your wrist.

[John Gabrus]

Get on or get off, bitch.

[Lacy Mosley]

Okay? It's restolutionary. Now put it on and give us $30.

[John Gabrus]

It's I Revolution. Lowercase I. Lowercase I. Unfamiliar Steve Jobs, New Yorker.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes. Come on. Turtleneck, please. Okay, get with it. So they SOL 30 countries, six continents and the company, you know, had the naming rights briefly. Power Balance Pavilion does not sound good to me. Power Balance Pavilion sounds like, I'm like, why are we doing this? I hate this so much.

[John Gabrus]

Power Balance Pavilion sounds like Thursday nights at Akbar or something like that. It's like a weird gay night.

[Lacy Mosley]

Sound like a Power bottom night. That's exactly what it is. And look, they were all balanced in there.

[John Gabrus]

Okay? They gotta stay balanced.

[Lacy Mosley]

They gotta stay balanced.

[John Gabrus]

Check out this hologram.

[Lacy Mosley]

So the claim a hologram is a three dimensional image of a two dimensional surface that can be viewed without special lense or 3D glasses. You can see changes in colors and shapes when you move them back and forth, but they usually just looks like sparkly pictures and you know, smears of color. And they're not rare. There are holograms on Most driver's license, ID cards and credit cards. So we all, I guess that's how we stay balanced is we just keep our credit cards in our pocket. Okay? They said swipe that card. Even more balance.

[John Gabrus]

You want to talk about an imbalance? I got one hanging over my head from Amex.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, no. Yes. You gotta get that balance.

[John Gabrus]

I gotta figure that balance out asap.

[Lacy Mosley]

So why did Power Balance put them on wristbands? Why were they putting these holograms on the wristband? Here's how they explained it, or rather didn't explain it on their website back then. So Gabriel and I are going to read the website. We're going to do a staged reading of the I hologram website.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

Okay. It's hard to. I feel like I got to put like my fingertips together. Like, you know, people like touch their fingertips because that's how, you know, people telling you the truth. And also innovation. Like there's nothing more innovative than. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we're innovating yes, it's hard to argue with nature. And the fact is that everything in nature resonates at a particular frequency. That is what keeps it all together.

[John Gabrus]

We react with frequency because we are a frequency bar.

[Lacy Mosley]

Most simply, we are a bunch of cells held together by, you guessed it, frequency. If you hold processed sugar or a cell phone in your hand and you hold your arm straight out to your side and have someone push your arm down while you resist, it goes down pretty easily because processed sugar and cellular telephones do not react positively with the human body.

[John Gabrus]

Basically, the frequencies in sugar and cell phones create a reaction that makes your body weak adversely.

[Lacy Mosley]

If you put certain vitamins or minerals in your hand and do the same test with your arm, you will find it is much harder for that person to push your arm down.

[John Gabrus]

By the way, all this arm push down stuff isn't real balance.

[Lacy Mosley]

But no, that's how I keep my balance. Constantly having people push my arm down.

[John Gabrus]

Your body's energy field, like things that are good for it and craves to be around those things. At power balance, we have taken a few of those items and through advances in technology, technology have been able to duplicate those positive energies and imprint them onto our holographic media. Oh my God. They're losing the fucking plot in the middle of their explanation.

[Lacy Mosley]

Why holograms? We use holograms because they are composed of Mylar, a polyester film used for imprinting music, movies, pictures and other data. Thus, it was a natural fit.

[John Gabrus]

So processed sugar not okay, but processed polyester, totally okay.

[Lacy Mosley]

Myl, like everybody knows about Mylar. It's a balloon and that's naturally what you need.

[John Gabrus]

In fact, the hologram is so complex, with such infinite depth and minimal surface area that many companies are now using them as hard drives. Okay, that doesn't help sell the balance part of it.

[Lacy Mosley]

Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that, sweetheart. Along those same lines, we felt it would be a lot easier to get someone to put a hologram in their shoe rather than a power balance equipped rock or apple.

[John Gabrus]

Oh my God. This is one of those things where if you read the website, you are not more informed, you're only more confused.

[Lacy Mosley]

That's what they wanted. They said, let's confuse because what is this? Okay, we went from sugar to polyester.

[John Gabrus]

They're like, that's why when you have sugar in your arm and a stranger goes to push it down, it goes down so easy. But if you're holding vitamins or minerals, it'll be way harder that's why we put a hologram, which could also be used as a hard drive. I'm sorry, Wait, what are you talking about?

[Lacy Mosley]

No, stay with me, stay with me, stay with me. Okay, because. What, do you want us to put an apple in your shoe? We thought so. Like, what?

[John Gabrus]

You just talk fast enough that you go, all right, fine. Here's my $30. Yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

All right, fine. We get it. Yeah. Power Balance Equipped rock. They're like, we want us to hit you with Power Balance equipped rocks. I didn't think so. Here's the bracelet.

[John Gabrus]

I got a bunch of holograms and a sock. I could hit you over the head with it for you if you want.

[Lacy Mosley]

Or do you want a bracelet? These are your options. I hit you with a sock, I push you down with your sugar hand. Or you buy this bracelet.

[John Gabrus]

I'm sorry to say, but your son has sugar hands. You're gonna wanna keep him away from ants.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, my goodness. Cause, you know, that's what people do. I always just grab a bunch of sugar and put it in my hand and then st out and be like, push me.

[John Gabrus]

And then you go like, hold on now do it again. I'm holding a multivitamin. See if this vitamin gummy. Oh, I'm so powerful.

[Lacy Mosley]

Right? Things that are definitely meant to be ingested.

[John Gabrus]

I know it doesn't. Like, I don't. You can't feel like putting sugar on your skin doesn't go like, oh, the process of it all is killing me.

[Lacy Mosley]

Like, what are we saying? Also, I just love that they typed up a bunch of nothing like, this is giving me.

[John Gabrus]

I was about to say this. This predates chat GPT, but it reeks of that. Of like, just give me 12 dumb reasons to sell this shit to fucking mouth breathers.

[Lacy Mosley]

And they were like, if we put lots of words, will think we have lots of answers.

[John Gabrus]

Just even this one line here. Why holograms? Because they're composed of mylar, a polyester film used for music, movies, pictures, and other data. Thus, it was a natural fit. As a matter of fact, what you described right before, this is some of the most unnatural stuff. Polyester and mylar are like human design.

[Lacy Mosley]

And you said, yeah, we use it for computers and other unnatural things.

[John Gabrus]

That's why it's natural.

[Lacy Mosley]

It's supernatural. Y'all know we use holograms and nuclear power plants all the time. So that so natural naturally your body. So most of that is so vague and hard to read, actually, which is how power Balance got away with selling this technology for so Long. They carefully avoided making specific claims, letting athletes and celebrity testimonials do all the talking for them. Some wearers claim the bracelet relieved headaches and menstrual pain. They made it seem like if you felt unwell in any way, the hologram would restore you back to normal. So ladies out there, you feel like your coochie's getting ripped apart. Everybody. That's cause you don't got this bracelet on.

[John Gabrus]

Wait, what do I do with this bracelet? Oh, just put it on my wrist. Thank God. I thought it was like a ouva ring or whatever ring. That ovaring's for sleeping.

[Lacy Mosley]

I've been trying it. They said don't do it on the packaging, but I have been trying it on my cycle.

[John Gabrus]

It's just why my lark? Because it fits perfectly in your vaginal canal. Thank you. Power balance.

[Lacy Mosley]

Thank you. So here's one fact that's good to have on hand when you encounter this kind of marketing. Look, nothing has a frequency until you hit it and it vibrates. Some things, like human beings, still don't vibrate even after you hit them. So they will never have a frequency. Objects and people aren't just walking around with frequencies.

[John Gabrus]

Okay, yes. My therapist is a little bit of a hippie dippy guy and he'll say your vibrations are at a, you know. Yeah. And I'm like, what the are you talking about? Yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

Cuz things could be like low vibrational, high vibrational. You know, black people love to be a low vibrational moment. A low vibrational plates. You know, I do believe in vibrations, but apparently they're not frequencies. And all of this is again about a bracelet. So that makes sense.

[John Gabrus]

Just a reminder. It's about a $30 fucking kid's hologram on a bracelet robbery.

[Lacy Mosley]

You hear that? Birds chirping in the air. Cause spring is upon us. And so is Quince. I know you have a spring travel itch. Whether it be with your family, family, some of them you hate. Whether it be with your besties, some of them you hate. You can put your foot on all of their necks with Quince's vacation season apparel. Like lightweight European linen styles from $30. Washable silk tops. You know I love those. Pair it with stylish tote bags to carry it all. And the best part, all Quince Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Passing the savings on on to us. If you want to support the show and me when you go to quince.com you better hit that slash goddess. Amen. Treat yourself to the Luxe upgrades you deserve from quinn's, go to quince.com goddess for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com goddess to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Q u I N C.

[John Gabrus]

Presents. In the red corner, the undisputed undefeated weed whacker guy. Champion of hurling grass and pollen everywhere. And in the blue corner, the challenger, Extra strength Hannity. Eyedrops that work all day to prevent the release of histamines that cause itchy allergy eyes. And the winner by knockout is Pattern Day. Bring it on.

[Lacy Mosley]

And fraud. So the founder of Power Balance was. Okay, so these are the founders of this company. The founders are brothers Troy and Josh Ro. This is them. Not the flexible all day rubber bracelets. Like it's jewelry.

[John Gabrus]

Okay. They like. I don't like to profile people by the way they look. But they look like scammers.

[Lacy Mosley]

They really do.

[John Gabrus]

They look like two guys in a movie who are like sent to kill Liam Neeson or some shit.

[Lacy Mosley]

You think they could kill Liam Neeson? They get neck chop so fast.

[John Gabrus]

But they got like goon energy and not like the new kind of definition of gooning.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, yeah. Not gooning. Not gooners.

[John Gabrus]

I mean, you know what? They might actually. They might be gooners.

[Lacy Mosley]

They might be gooners for sure.

[John Gabrus]

Power bracelet you could tug off all day and never bust.

[Lacy Mosley]

You're going to have so much frequency when you're jacking it. The highest frequency. Yeah, I could actually see them saying that. But it's just the way they're holding them. Like they really got that money.

[John Gabrus]

Like it's blinged out. Yeah, yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

So these are rubber bracelets and the photos in black and white, but all the bracelets are in cover. They thought they really did something with that. They're like, what about if we're in black and white and all the bracelets are in color?

[John Gabrus]

Look how tacky they are. Look how ugly they are. The. The smaller ones that are like watch adjacent. Like, that's a little less conspicuous. But the other ones say power balance in huge capital letters.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, I don't want to advertise your ugly bracelet.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I just have a weird bracelet on that says erectile dysfunction. And people are like, what's that? I'm like, it's supposed to help. I'm in my mid-40s.

[Lacy Mosley]

No, just run. Just scurry away.

[John Gabrus]

Fall down. Cause I have the wrong bracelet on.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, yeah, no, see, that's. But you would stand A little. Because your penis.

[John Gabrus]

I fall down. I'm hard, but I fell.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, you're hard, but you fell.

[John Gabrus]

But the guy at the mall kiosk can pull me down by my wrist, unfortunately.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, and I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah, these are. This feels like something you get when you go to a music. Like a music concert or like a festival or something. Yeah, some kind of all access bracelet that they give you so you can get behind the curtain or something. It's not giving. I want to wear this every day with my outfits.

[John Gabrus]

I bet you this shit costs, like tickets at fucking Dave and Buster's.

[Lacy Mosley]

Literally. You're never gonna get. It's right next to the scooter, to the scooty bike that no one ever gets. And they. So these power bros, these power balance bros are both former college athletes who grew up in California with parents who believed in non traditional healing practices like acupuncture. Now, acupuncture is more like Eastern medicine and has proven results in like, fertility or even relaxation. You know what I mean? Like, there is something to that. I don't know how they went from like Chinese holistic medicine to rubber fridge. They're like, this is the American version of acupuncture. It's an expensive rubber that you go buy.

[John Gabrus]

You like acupuncture but afraid of needles? Well, perfect holograms used in computers and hard drives for your wrist. No apple in your shoe, though.

[Lacy Mosley]

No apple in your shoe. No. You know what to do. So their father works for a firm that sold pricey minerals and gems used in Eastern medicine. As the brothers explained it, in 2006, they found a way to burn these gem frequencies through a computer program onto Mylar holograms that could be placed on a lightweight wristband. Once the created a workable prototype, Troy and Josh started handing out bracelets to athletes. They started with Josh's former high school teammate, Mark Sanchez, a college football quarterback who would go on to play in the NFL for 10 years. Josh's Yale football teammates, and Troy's SoCal surf buddies. The initial feedback was amazing. Josh said the benefits were different for everyone, but they always had to do with an increase in performance.

[John Gabrus]

The benefits different for everybody. It means it's untrackable, and it's just whatever the people are saying, it's a big. Yeah. Also, I love that they're like. Their dad ran a company where he found gems that were used for healing. I'm like, so the dad's the OG scammer? Yeah, he taught well. It's in your. You're genetically predisposed to be a scammer at that point.

[Lacy Mosley]

They said, eastern medicine, but make it bro.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, finally.

[Lacy Mosley]

Make it tech, bro.

[John Gabrus]

I also, like, they're both big athletes. One of the brothers played at Yale with San. You're like, oh, that's pretty good. And they always like. And he's a surfer in SoCal. I'm like, that sounds like a guy with a rich dad, right?

[Lacy Mosley]

That don't sound like an athlete to me. Was he surfing for competition? Was he surfing for money?

[John Gabrus]

Like, playing college football is one thing. Saying me and my surf buddies is a little different than NCAA football team, but it's okay.

[Lacy Mosley]

We're going to let them both be athletes. They were giving it to all their athletes. We're all athletes here, and we're all balanced. Okay. So the best marketing tool for power balance was the test.

[John Gabrus]

The thing that did convince people to buy power balance was this. The power balance test. Put people through a series of balance tests, then immediately redid the series. Same test with the power balance bracelet. But you're also prepared for the test. Without fail, the person would perform significantly better with the power balance on. It could be done anywhere. So anytime, someone on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, skepticism for wearing it, they could just immediately put the doubter through the test who almost always had better results. With the power balance on. This became one one of the most effective marketing tools imaginable. All of a sudden, in bars, in schools and parties across the country, this fun party trick was spun. Free trick countless numbers of people into believers in power balance.

[Lacy Mosley]

Wow. So one.

[John Gabrus]

Wow. I was really caught up in that video. I didn't realize. I didn't speak that whole time.

[Lacy Mosley]

I didn't either. I was like, oh, they're on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Oh, they had the club. She had the club doing the balance test. Okay.

[John Gabrus]

It's got to just be because you just did the test. You're, like, mentally prepared, physically prepared for it.

[Lacy Mosley]

Y. If I'm like, hey, John, get up right now. I'm gonna test your balance, and you don't have the bracelet. Yeah. You're not gonna do as well as the second time around when I put this placebo effect on, and then you.

[John Gabrus]

Do the same exact thing to me, and now I'm mentally prepared.

[Lacy Mosley]

You're ready for what it is.

[John Gabrus]

That's so funny.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, my goodness. But also a great party trick. That is good advertising, especially in these days. Like, all you need is something to be a challenge. And the girlies will go buy the $30 bracelet and get on TikTok and put it to some music and do it.

[John Gabrus]

This. I mean, talk about party tricks. The shit I was doing when I was in high school, pre phones and pre Internet was. We were just other pass out and stuff. So this might even. This is probably healthier for you.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, I would have thought this was healthier.

[John Gabrus]

Hey, I'll you hyperventilate and I'll choke you, stranger. You know I trust you. We're both 14. We should be okay.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, this is tight. That's my party trick, guys. It's like I take all the oxygen away from your body. Isn't that cool?

[John Gabrus]

That was such a big thing. And then of course, like Law and Order or someone did something about it. And then everyone's mom was like, you guys aren't playing the pass out game, are you? And you're like, right, not anymore.

[Lacy Mosley]

As soon as the TV show gets a hold of it, it's over. I rem. I don't even know if these parties really happened, but I was watching Oprah with my mom and they had these rainbow parties, they would call them, where each girl would wear a different color and then they go down on the boys. And my mom was like, are you going to these rainbow parties? Like, every time I tried to leave that fucking house, she was like, better not be going to one of them rainbow parties.

[John Gabrus]

The frequency in which I would hear about rainbow parties and just imagine the idea of getting a blowjob from a girl, no less. Multiple girls in one night. I'm like, I couldn't even fucking handle that as a growing. That sounds insane. That sounds crazy. And like, women are like, I hope I get to put my purple lipstick on 12 guys peckers tonight. Like that. Who's winning in this? I mean, besides men, as usual. That's fucking. I remember a friend's dad one time saying, you know what these kids are doing now in school? They're putting white out on their erasers. And then they're sniffing their eraser when the teacher's not looking to get high. I'm like, trust me when I tell you white out is impossible to get high off of.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, we worked it. We worked it through.

[John Gabrus]

Now we got galaxy gas. Now pop.

[Lacy Mosley]

Now listen, a permanent marker. You have a couple of those.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, you're telling me. Allegedly, I used to. Here, the statute of limitations is over. We used to spray Glade air freshener into like a fucking towel and breathe it in and go like, oh, my God. Strawberries and cream. Glade and Just get super fucking, like, whippeted out. But also your face would, like, reek of, like, a grandma's bathroom.

[Lacy Mosley]

Wait, Sean, why are you coming home every day smelling like potpourri?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, you better not be smoking and then spraying that on your face. You know what I'm saying? Actually, it's way worse.

[Lacy Mosley]

It's way worse.

[John Gabrus]

I'd rather I'm smoking cigarettes. I'm doing whippets at 14.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, my gosh. But, yeah, this is a healthier party trick. So I could see this, like, really taking off in the clubs and at the parties and the house parties and things like that. So they got a good gimmick here. So time and time again, it seems to prove the power of the bracelet. But what it's really proving is that once you know how hard someone is going to push you down one time, you do a better job bracing yourself the second time, which is exactly what we said. But they have fun, okay? So if you survive 2010 without wearing one of these, you deserve an award. And I will say that I am not one of those people who can get an award because I definitely had some Livestrong bracelets.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, I rocked a Livestrong bracelet. But that felt more like a. I wasn't wearing it to, like, get better at something. I was wearing it to, like, support.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, to support, like, cancer.

[John Gabrus]

Against cancer, I guess. Not support cancer.

[Lacy Mosley]

You were supporting cancer. Wow.

[John Gabrus]

I wore a different one that said, like, fuck Lance Armstrong. That cheating one. Bald freak or whatever.

[Lacy Mosley]

He did cheat. He did cheat real bad. You know what? He kept the sport interesting, though. Were we watching bitches ride bikes? No. Okay, so they needed a cheater to really get things going. Get it popping, you know what I'm saying? We have a picture right now of Kobe Bryant and he has on one of the power bracelets.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, fuck. And this is the last known photo.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, not the last known photo.

[John Gabrus]

He needed a little more balance.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, John. Oh, my word.

[John Gabrus]

Not cool. Not cool. Should have given it to the chopper pilot. Okay, last one. Wait, I have an idea.

[Lacy Mosley]

We're going to hell.

[John Gabrus]

I have an idea to make you money. And I don't even necessarily need a slice, but a slice would be tight. You gotta make scam goddess fucking power balance bracelets.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. When you're about to get into a scam, the hologram starts flashing red. Yes, the hologram gonna let you know that you finna get scammed. Okay? And it always starts, the hologram, right when you reach for your wallet. So you gotta be looking at it while you reach it, it's gonna be like, rear whee. Like, yes, yes.

[John Gabrus]

You are being scammed.

[Lacy Mosley]

You are being scammed. And you know what? I'm gonna just take the description that they have on their website and put it on my website. Cause I feel like that really lets everybody know what we're doing.

[John Gabrus]

Thus, it was a natural fit.

[Lacy Mosley]

It was a natural fit. O. A bracelet balance. You get it? So there were followers of this, right? We got Kobe Bryant, we got Bill Clinton. Remember, he got to keep that balance, honey. So he got.

[John Gabrus]

I did not inhale that bracelet.

[Lacy Mosley]

He didn't. And Robert Zanero was also balancing. You know, he got a career also. He got a balance with his new young wife. You know, he got to stay balanced so he can be around for his children.

[John Gabrus]

Now that we kind of know. Oh, Gerard Butler.

[Lacy Mosley]

My favorite Gerard Butlero. He also wanted to.

[John Gabrus]

It's crazy when you see this, because Kate Middleton. Fuck, dude. We know enough about this, though, too, that someone back then would have been like, hey, for $85,000, wear this bracelet to this interview, and we'll get a Getty photo of you wearing it. And that's exactly what's happening.

[Lacy Mosley]

She definitely got a coin for that bracelet. And you know what? She was trying to keep that balance. That was when she was trying to make sure that she was gonna become the queen.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, Middleton. Keep hustling.

[Lacy Mosley]

She had to keep hustling. Stay balanced. Lindsay Lohan. Now, Lindsay probably really needed that Long island pride.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

Right here. These are her out of B. So you know what? I'm glad that she had that on.

[John Gabrus]

And that God knows what it would have been like for her without.

[Lacy Mosley]

Exactly. Okay. Could have been worse, y'all. David Beckham.

[John Gabrus]

Kay. Heard of him.

[Lacy Mosley]

He also had the bracelet. Look at him with Posh in his bracelet. Now, I don't think Posh would ever put one of them ugly things on, because she's about fashion. She got tape. She's like, this is. This is hideous. She's probably, like, right after this photo taken, she was like, can you please get that off of me? Like, your arm with that atrocity on it. I love you. Now get back in the closet. Now. Their biggest paid athlete endorsement came from the general himself, Shaq. Here's his testimony. So we're gonna watch Shaq's testimony. But I do wanna say, like I told y'all, I worked on a show with Shaq. He's very funny. He drives a hellcat that he's taking the back seats out of, so it looks like he's getting out of a clown car when he gets out. And he is one of the original, like, celeb influencers. Like, Shaq would literally sell anything.

[John Gabrus]

Shaq has been. Shaq has been around. I worked with Shaq once. Guess what it was a radio Shaq commercial.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

And this dude will sell anything. And if it feels too corny, it's not.

[Lacy Mosley]

It's not for Shaq.

[John Gabrus]

And he's got the superpower that he's above it all somehow. It doesn't land on him in any way.

[Lacy Mosley]

It doesn't make him seem like a loser.

[John Gabrus]

Ryan Reynolds seems like a loser to me. Like, he's like, I like the guy, but he's doing too much. The rock seems like he's doing too much. Shaq is like in a commercial with an animated general going like, oh, we got to sell. You know? And you're like, you got it, Shaq.

[Lacy Mosley]

Great. We love it, Shaq. I feel like Shaq could be like, and now Tempex has ultra low league tampons. And this is coming from me, Shaq, ladies, put this inside you.

[John Gabrus]

And I would. I would get him bored.

[Lacy Mosley]

Like, he could sell me wipes, feminine products. He like, are you a lady in your 50s who's experienced vaginal dryness? It's me, Shaquille O'Neal. If you want to dunk that coochie wet, get new vaginal dryness wipes from me, Shaquille O'Neal.

[John Gabrus]

Like, I'd be like, it's time to get that pussy a rebound.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, my good. Like, anything. He can sell anything. So we have a video of him talking about power balance. He's gonna let us know.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, my gosh.

[Lacy Mosley]

Shaquille O'Neal. Good music. Good music.

[C]

A lot of testimonials, but this works.

[Lacy Mosley]

I don't do a lot of testimonials, but this works.

[C]

And I'm one of the power balance generals. Tell you how I came across power balance.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. Tell a shack.

[C]

Brought the bracelet. Did a little test.

[Lacy Mosley]

Somebody did a little test of the.

[C]

Test without the bracelet. I put the bracelet on, then I passed the test. So you know me. I'm one of those guys that said.

[Lacy Mosley]

Okay, this bracelet looks too tight for his wrist.

[John Gabrus]

No, it's too small on him.

[C]

At the time, three of our guys wore it, and I think we won the game by 57 points. And I felt something, so I said, okay. He felt something, and I kept feeling something. So then I said, okay, let me take it off. But then when I take. Took it off, I went back to normal. So then I had it in and I brought the whole team and I said, okay, I want everybody. Come on now. I really got into the scientific part and basically it helps you with your endurance, your balance.

[Lacy Mosley]

This is the scientific part. How does it. How does it do that, Jack?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. No, no explanation of the science behind the. Just rattling off four buzzwords.

[C]

Everybody, you know, has something new. But, you know, you tell them about the power bracelet. This is the first look they gave me. It does what? The little bracelet does what? And as soon as we do the test, they're like, that's the reaction. We want. We want this.

[Lacy Mosley]

Shaq is just doing his own memes.

[John Gabrus]

He's so fucking funny.

[Lacy Mosley]

He really is. This is the least enthusiastic testimonial I've ever seen.

[John Gabrus]

I would love to have Shaq to ask him about. Show this to Shaq live and have him react to it and see what he says. Because he would even have to admit, like, yeah, whatever, man. A bag's a bag, right? You know, like. But that is so funny. Put it on the whole team. We won by 57 points.

[Lacy Mosley]

So then I was like, I feel something. I put the bracelet on and then. And I wore it again and I felt something. And then when I took it off, I felt nothing. Like that was literally what he was saying. He was like, no, yeah, it helps. And then I got into the scientific stuff of like, it helps you do stuff. Good, goodly.

[John Gabrus]

I'll tell you what, he's so charming that I. We've only talked about how dumb this product is. And I'm watching this going like, I should try Power balance right now.

[Lacy Mosley]

I just need to know, like, cuz Shaquille o'said it does something.

[John Gabrus]

He could sell ketchup popsicles to a lady in white gloves and.

[Lacy Mosley]

And I would be there. I would be there for it. Cuz it does something. Very much something.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I had it on and I felt something. I took it off and I felt nothing.

[Lacy Mosley]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. CNB Sports named Power Balance product of the year in 2010 for its strong sales and celebrity endorsements. So there are some skeptics. Eventually, actual scientists ran actual tests comparing the performance of the 42 athletes wearing power Balance wrist brands and the silicone versions from Walmart and found no difference. Athletes were more likely to perform better wearing the second bracelet they put on, largely because they knew what to expect from the trial. So when they gave them the Placee bracelet, the placebo bracelet, they were like, this ain't worked. I feel nothing. I feel nothing. Then they put the Power balance on and they were like, woo, that's how I beat Shaq. And then they just started like, yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Shaq letting you dunk on him when you had the Power bracelet on and be like, see, I told you.

[Lacy Mosley]

You know, see, I told you. You feel something.

[John Gabrus]

You feel something. I feel nothing.

[Lacy Mosley]

So John Porcari, a professional of exercise and sports science at the University of Wisconsin, La Cross, ran one of the tests and said, I think it's a scam. It has absolutely nothing to do with the bracelets. It's all in people's heads. Yeah, duh. When the bracelets worked, it was due to the placebo effect, which can be a powerful force, especially in sports. So the admission of guilt. In 2010, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission found that the Power Balance bracelet claims were misleading and breached advertising code in that country and demanded that Power Balance drop claims from its website that the bans improved flexibility, balance and strength. So they say, y'all lying. And if y'all want to sell this little rubber bracelet, we're going to need to get you just telling the truth on the Barbie.

[John Gabrus]

Well, that. That's the shit that always gets me upset, too, is like, when another country's like, oh, we don't allow, like. Like when you get, like, a Nestle product or a chocolate product in Europe, and they're like, tastes different. You're like, why does this taste different? It's like, oh, we don't allow poison in our food.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, we said no to the poison. That's like fireball. Apparently, there's properties that are in antifreeze and the one that's sold in America, but anywhere else, they take the antifreeze out. They were like, yeah, we actually don't like antifreeze in our liquor. So we're. Yeah, we told y'all to take it out. And I'm like, why do they keep it? Why can't we all just not have antifreeze?

[John Gabrus]

I met Carla hall, the woman from Top Chef, and someone's like, oh, we have some candy here. She goes, it's from New Jersey. No, thank you. And we were like, what does that mean? You got a problem with New Jersey? She's like, no, candy made in America has bad ingredients in it. I'm like, what? And she's like, yeah. And not just like. It's like, Twix in America is different than Twix in Europe. Like, we allow more garbage in our.

[Lacy Mosley]

Food, which makes no fucking sense. I'm like, why can't we just eat Good. Like everyone else, anytime I go to Europe for a long period of time, I lose weight and I eat bread over there. I can't eat bread in this country.

[John Gabrus]

No, I, I, it's so crazy. And things are only going to get more and more deregulated. Where they're gonna be like, you know, they used to put, like, chalk in milk to make it more fortified. It's like, that shit is coming back hard.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

Fucking rfk. Putting milk in chocolate in the milk for the kids. Not chocolate milk, but choc milk.

[Lacy Mosley]

That's exactly how he sounds. I'm sorry, but I.

[John Gabrus]

Power balance bracelets for everybody. And no fluoride in the water.

[Lacy Mosley]

I just don't understand. Look, shout out to y'all who've had this happen to you. No Shade, but I just don't how a man who literally had worms for brains is going to lead us in a global health like, position in our government.

[John Gabrus]

You're younger than me, but at one time, a guy went, wahoo. Howard Dean, he went pyong. He was super excited.

[Lacy Mosley]

Ruined his whole life.

[John Gabrus]

Ruined his whole life. And meanwhile, we got a guy who's like, yeah, I ate a bear head in Central park and cheated on my wife.

[Lacy Mosley]

And we're like, this is fine. This is great. We have Pete Hegset that the Pentagon sending, like, you up texts to the Yemen government. And like, we're just like, this is fine. You gotta switch.

[John Gabrus]

I'm switching. Switching from gin and tonics to beers. Since I'll be.

[Lacy Mosley]

That's when I knew he was a real alcoholic. When he started being like, yeah, no, the thing is, like, you just gotta drink less so, you know, you drink more beer. You know, if you're gonna. If I do a gin, I add extra tonic and soda. So that when he started planning out his alcoholism, when you're making excuses at.

[John Gabrus]

A job interview, when you're like, okay, okay, look, I know I'm kind of a bit of a drinker, but I'm gonna switch to beer if you hire me as a school bus driver.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. Just for the shakes. I'm not even going to be drunk. It's just for the shakes. It's like, sir, we know what this is. And he. On Easter, he was drunk at the Easter egg hunt on the line, yelling at people. His kids are in the back looking awkward as hell. He's like, the fake news always wants to say whatever they want, but we're going to. This is real news right now. Look at these kids. We're here for them. We're Here for them. And they were looking in the corner like, daddy, no, stop. Daddy, please.

[John Gabrus]

Dad, you texted me war plans again, right? Dad, you accidentally airdropped private blueprints of the White House again, right?

[Lacy Mosley]

They're like, dad, don't you have to get to the war? You texted us that you're dropping bombs on Yemen at 3:00 Eastern and fucking.

[John Gabrus]

People putting, like, US flag and fist bump emojis in the town.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, like, why are y'all doing emojis? For murder. I hate that. That's how they communicate, the murders.

[John Gabrus]

I know. I wouldn't even put an emoji if someone text me and said, we're having a baby, right? It's like, that feels too rude. We're talking about life here.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. So it's like, congratulations for the baby. Are like, oh, somber days for these murders we're doing in Yemen. Not like, fuck ye, America, bald eagle. Like, what are y'all doing? Be serious.

[John Gabrus]

What if someone will read this? No one will ever read this. Wait, never mind. I cc'd a fucking reporter.

[Lacy Mosley]

Not my fault. You know how many johns I have on my signal chat? No, bro, be serious.

[John Gabrus]

It's just saved in your phone. Is like, john Journalist John, do not answer John Big dick John.

[Lacy Mosley]

John Bomb Emoji. Oh, that's what I meant to put. John Bomb Emoji. And I put, do not answer. God damn it.

[John Gabrus]

John Bomb Emoji sings the song we're halfway. Hi, I'm John Bomb Emoji.

[Lacy Mosley]

So, In December of 2010, the makers of the wristbands were required to issue a statement apologizing for the misleading consumers or misleading their consumers. Here's their official statement to Australian media. They said, in our advertising, we stated the power balance wristband improved your strength, balance and flexibility. We admitted that there is no credible scientific evidence that supports our claims, and therefore, we engaged in misleading conduct in breach of s5.2 of the Trade Practices act of 1974. If you feel you have been misled by our promotions, we wish to unreservedly apologize and offer a full refund.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, my God. But they have to say that in Australia. Meanwhile, in America, they're still running commercials.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, they're still running commercials. And they've ramped it up. In America, they're like, it does everything. You have kidney failure, dialysis. No more. All you need is this bracelet.

[John Gabrus]

Aussies are too much of pussies to handle the power balance bracelet, But Americans, it'll work on you.

[Lacy Mosley]

Have you recently been an amputee? Power balance bracelet Your leg will come back. Like, they're just like now fully saying anything in America, but then over in Australia, they're like, it's just a bracelet. And, you know, wear it.

[John Gabrus]

It's a bit of a bracelet.

[Lacy Mosley]

It's a bit of a bracelet. Wear it if you like. But they. Okay, but stay snarky. They doubled down online like we said. We knew they were going to sending out tweets, playing off the word admit in one saying. Power Balance admits products have been worn during the last World Series, NBA Finals, and Super bowl championships. So they kind of trying to rebrand it. They're like, yeah, we'll admit it. People wore these when they did the most, like, amazing athletic feats known to man. And what were they wearing?

[John Gabrus]

Our products just putting a bracelet on Shaquille O'Neal, who's already like an insane talent, talented, free at basketball. I'd be like, see, Shaq is good at basketball with our bracelet. I'm like, take it off and see how he does.

[Lacy Mosley]

He's not gonna feel something bad. He's not gonna feel something, though. We know that much for sure, right? So they're trying to find a way to keep lying. So in another statement, they said, from its inception, Power Balance has lived and thrived in the ultimate testing environment, the real world. We continue to see, hear, and learn about people's belief in our products, and they have been positively affecting people's lives. So they're like, everybody loves it in the real world.

[John Gabrus]

I love that.

[Lacy Mosley]

To science.

[John Gabrus]

I was gonna say they're using the term real world to exclude science proof. Like, the realest shit in the world is science. And then it's like, no, not in the scientific world, but the real world. It's like, okay, I'm sorry. What do you think the real world is? Is anecdotal evidence from fucking 19 year old guys you're giving $100,000 to. To respond.

[Lacy Mosley]

We're talking about kitchen table issues. The real world, okay?

[John Gabrus]

The Power Balance, kitchen table issues.

[Lacy Mosley]

How many of y'all go to a lab every day? Let's be serious. How many of you guys got a white coat and go to a lab? No, the fuck you don't. Weirdos.

[John Gabrus]

You go to buy your wrist in the mall, you fucking dweeb.

[Lacy Mosley]

That's where life happens.

[John Gabrus]

Real shit is happening in the food court.

[Lacy Mosley]

At the food court, bitch.

[John Gabrus]

Get your free bourbon chicken and your Power Balance bracelet, whore.

[Lacy Mosley]

We know what's up. So, yeah, in 2011, power balance was sued for fraud and settled out of court for $57 million and then promptly filed for bankruptcy. As of 2025, the B. The brand has transferred to a new company, Power Balance, which still sells Power Balance bands and other items. You can't just put technologies on something and then it's all of a sudden a technology. I don't think that's how technologies work.

[John Gabrus]

That does not work at all. Potato chip technologies, my Coca Cola technology. We're doing big things in the world of Coca Cola ology.

[Lacy Mosley]

You just gotta put more buzzwords around it. So the power of placebo effect in sports, just to wrap this up, for thousands of years, athletes have used the placebo effect and or super to attempt to improve their performances. That's true. Like even in theater. Like if I'm in a theater, I'm not gonna say, I'll say break a leg, right? Like I won't say have a great show. Or you don't say the, you don't say McFadden.

[John Gabrus]

You say the Scottish play.

[Lacy Mosley]

You say the Scottish play. It's like there are some superstitions because our mental does affect how we perform. And so if there's something you can do to relax more mentally. Yeah. You're more likely to have a better game or performance.

[John Gabrus]

I swear, I swear by like everyone's always like, I love to do like a cold plunge. And people are like, does that work? I'm like, honestly, if it is a placebo effect, it makes me feel so good that I'm fine with it. Like then that then I'll. I'll live with the placebo effect of putting my fat ass in a cold little tub every, every day. You know?

[Lacy Mosley]

I love a cold plunge.

[John Gabrus]

Me too. It wakes my little ass up.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. And then you tingle afterwards and that feels good.

[John Gabrus]

I also think my skin looks really good from cold plunging. Yeah.

[Lacy Mosley]

When I was.

[John Gabrus]

Feels like tight. Right?

[Lacy Mosley]

Right. It feels tight. I was running into the sea in Ireland. Like every week me and my co stars would go cold plunge and then get into the sauna and it was like a real sauna. Like a wood one where you like poured over the rocks.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, that's the dream. Not that infrared high tech bullshit.

[Lacy Mosley]

No, no. It was like you were in there cooking. Cooking.

[John Gabrus]

This is my idea of a vacation. I just go to some coastal town in Europe and I hit in a sauna, jump in the water and do that all day until I just get on the piss at night.

[Lacy Mosley]

And it honestly works. You sleep better after just freezing your little nips off. Oh, gosh, I love it. So that's My placebo. I'm down for that placebo as well. And in ancient Greece, Olympians sacrificed oxen to sacrifice satisfy the gods. So Roman gladiators entered the arena with their domain foot first. So basically, like. Like, this is what they would do to get hyped up before the arena. They kill off some goats, which I kind of feel like that's a little fucked up, but, you know, whatever works. Michael Jordan wore UNC shorts under his Bulls uniform every game for 13 years. Every time basketball player Wade Boggs stepped into the batter's box. I'm sorry. Baseball player Wade Boggs stepped into the batter's box.

[John Gabrus]

He drew the Jewish symbol for good luck, right?

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah. He carved the hebr for the word chai, which means life, into the dirt with his foot. And Boggs isn't Jewish?

[John Gabrus]

No. Wade Boggs. Honestly, listeners, he was on the Yankees for a while. If you want to have a fucking good read, fire up Wade Boggs Wikipedia and just read. Dude was a legend and insanely superstitious. He only did batting practice at the same time every day. He ran, like, X amount of sprints every single day. He ate a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken before every game.

[Lacy Mosley]

Wow.

[John Gabrus]

Cause they thought it was all for good luck. And then he famously drank, like, 87 Miller Lights on a flight across the country from New York to Los angeles. And like, 20 years later, he was on a sports radio show, and they were like, wade Boggs, is there a truth to the fact that you drank 80 beers? And he's like, I wasn't keeping track. Wow, the dude has a great Wikipedia. It's very funny.

[Lacy Mosley]

Did they have 87 beers on the plane? I feel like you gotta bring some of your own at that point.

[John Gabrus]

At that point. Yeah. Well, I think, like, for, like, if they had won a game or whatever, they'd probably can throw some stuff on there.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's on a jet. I was like, this ain't giving. Like, American Airlines got 87 beers for.

[John Gabrus]

Your ass at Fenway Park. He played for Boston, too, at Fenway Park. They call him Boggs Lights.

[Lacy Mosley]

Wow.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, and as a Yankee fan, when they won the World Series, there's this famous image of a Yankee player riding a police horse across Yankee Stadium wearing a police horse helmet. And that was him.

[Lacy Mosley]

That was him.

[John Gabrus]

He hijacked a horse after they won and galloped around the stadium.

[Lacy Mosley]

If there's any time to hijack a horse, it's absolutely after you win the World Series. What are you people gonna say to you? What are they gonna Say to you, we bugs bab.

[John Gabrus]

Okay.

[Lacy Mosley]

I want to be on the back of that horse. I love that he isn't Jewish, but he was just with the vibes. He was like, you know what? It's been working for me.

[John Gabrus]

It is so funny. He's like, I. I draw high every morning. And it's like, really? He's like, yeah, I just learned. I must have learned it from a Jewish person once. And it stuck.

[Lacy Mosley]

And it stuck. Okay, look, he said bars, okay? He knows where bars are. And he took them right out the Torah. And he was like, I'm. This is for me. This is.

[John Gabrus]

I try to always listen to a song when I walk to, like, stop podcasts, stop the audio book. And I try to listen to a song when I walk up. Going to a show from outside, like the building, usually from my car to wherever the show is, I always have to put on a song. I have like five that get me pumped and that I enjoy. And I rotate through them. That's like the main superstition I have. Or like, do you have any. I mean, besides the traditional actor ones, do you have any one where you're like, I'm starting a new job. That means I gotta go to bed at 6:05pm or, you know, oh, no.

[Lacy Mosley]

I mean, I guess I just have the actor one. Anytime I do an audition, I throw away the sides.

[John Gabrus]

Dog. Me, too.

[Lacy Mosley]

I'm like, that is not my business anymore. Now, it does cost me in paper when I have to reprint them, but that's not going to throw them away.

[John Gabrus]

That's what we call, like, when you have to reprint them. That's a good problem. That means you're getting a call back or you got to do it again. I throw my shit right in the recycling. That's so awesome.

[Lacy Mosley]

I'm like, don't belong to me no more. Those are my power balance vibes. It's just throwing. Wasting so much paper. Sorry about. Sorry.

[John Gabrus]

Now we're going to pull on your wrist while your script is in the garbage and look how much stronger you are.

[Lacy Mosley]

Right? Oh, my goodness.

[John Gabrus]

Power, endurance.

[Lacy Mosley]

And Jason Giambi wore a Giambi. Giambi. I'm so glad you're here because we have a guy who's into sports here. Cause I'm like, Giambi.

[John Gabrus]

I'm also the most Italian baseball player ever. Jason Giambi. Giambi.

[Lacy Mosley]

Giambi. So Jason Giambi wore a gold thong to lift himself out of hitting slumps. A gold thong.

[John Gabrus]

I mean, that's amazing. You know like, that's what they do in the movie Bull Durham when Tim Robbins is on a bad streak. They make him wear women's underwear underneath his thing. And it's like, it breaks you. Gets you out of your head. And, like, I get. I get the idea behind it, but I remember when this news came out, this, like, for, like, New York homophobic fuck, you know, everything's like this fucking gaylord. Where. And to me, I was just like, that's awesome. That shit is. Tell me that works. I'll wear a golden thong to every audition.

[Lacy Mosley]

It also brought me to every audition. You're just wearing a golden thong. They don't know.

[John Gabrus]

They're like, put pants on, sir. This is for a kid's show.

[Lacy Mosley]

Right, right. Oh, you're not supposed to know I'm wearing the golden thong. Right, right, right, right. My bad. I'm supposed to know my whale's tail.

[John Gabrus]

Sticking out the back when I bend over.

[Lacy Mosley]

Oh, my gosh, It's G. Manny from Degrassi. There was definitely a time in the 2000 and tens where all the girls were, like, hiking up their thongs so you could see them outside of their pants for sexiness.

[John Gabrus]

In the 90s, we had bright colored bras underneath white shirts, which I loved. And then I did not mind seeing underwear when I got there.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, these weren't bad things to see. I mean, we were goofy for doing them, but, you know.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, yeah. Hindsight being 20 20, I didn't hate any of it.

[Lacy Mosley]

But I will say that, like, having a little superstition doesn't bump me. It's interesting to me that people would be weirded out by him wearing a thong. I feel like that would be more comfortable than a cup. Like, y'all be avoided having a strap in y'all booty. Because what is this side thing? Cups don't go up the butt, right?

[John Gabrus]

No, it's like a jock strap. It, like, hugs under your cheeks.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, it's weird. It might as well be wearing a cup.

[John Gabrus]

Wearing a cup sucks. It hurts. Yeah, it's in the way for sure.

[Lacy Mosley]

So there is evidence to show that the more expensive a placebo is, the more placebo effect it has. So buying $30 worth of rubber is probably going to make you feel like you can shoot like Shaq.

[John Gabrus]

Fair enough.

[Lacy Mosley]

Look at this.

[John Gabrus]

The titanium.

[Lacy Mosley]

So there's a titanium series of power balancing now. So this starting to look like jewelry.

[John Gabrus]

Still only 50 bucks, though. They still know that they're courting. You know, they're courting the wealthy.

[Lacy Mosley]

They're Not. And it says that this is like matte gold. So, you know, you can't wear this in the shower because that bitch is definitely going to turn green.

[John Gabrus]

The titanium series is a trifecta of hologram, negative ion and titanium technologies and the newest member of the power balance family. Made with pure titanium, each pendant and bracelet has double holograms and a high density pro. Ion dot Gold is 18k plated, and each bracelet has removable links to adjust size. So fucking embarrassing.

[Lacy Mosley]

This is for the people who are like, okay, but I need to look cute with my power balance bracelet on.

[John Gabrus]

So I want to be iced out in my power balance, Right?

[Lacy Mosley]

Can I add bling to it? I bet you you could.

[John Gabrus]

I bought my power balance bracelet at Jacob the Jewelry Hook Uncut gems. Put a furby on my.

[Lacy Mosley]

That's exactly what this is. I mean, it looks like they had a good run. 2010 was when they started to really rake in the dough. It's also the year that Australia was like, y'all need to quit lying to these people. And they're like, okay, we'll lie less. We will continue to lie, but we'll lie less.

[John Gabrus]

We'll lie to Americans. They're dumber and fatter and they're okay with this.

[Lacy Mosley]

They're like, they set up bracelets so I don't have to work out. Oh, Americans will definitely.

[John Gabrus]

I don't. I Like, maybe, maybe I could. You can convince me over the course of like, an eight hour TED talk that you get better balance from it. But I cannot see how flexibility comes into play at all.

[Lacy Mosley]

At all.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, my hamstrings are looser since putting on this negative ion bracelet.

[Lacy Mosley]

You just had too many ions in your hammies. That's what it was. Every time I looked at your hammies, I was like, damn, he got too much ion in them.

[John Gabrus]

Damn, you got your ion my hammies. Don't you, girl?

[Lacy Mosley]

I have my eye on your hammies. Oh, goodness. Well, thank you for balancing out this very imbalanced scam here.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, yeah, we have to go soon because we're going to the mall to run this test.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yeah, we're running this test on strangers.

[John Gabrus]

We're gonna do their balance, then make them listen to a scam goddess episode, then check their balance again afterwards.

[Lacy Mosley]

They're gonna be way more balanced after they listen to the episode. And we know that, and we know it's proven. So, John, I always ask at the end of the show, where would you like to be found? Anything. Like the plug, whatever it may be.

[John Gabrus]

You can find me at the gym. Lol. No, you can find me at Gabriel on all social media. I got a podcast called Action Boys. I got a podcast called the Gino Lombardo Show I did a while ago. It's now available as a collectible cassette with all 30 episodes on it. You can go to geno.gabris.com for that. And of course, in the SiriusXM fam, I got Stayin Alive podcast with my co host, best friend, Adam Palley, where we're. It's a health and wellness podcast hosted by unhealthy and unwell people. So we will have you on as a guest next time we're recording in la. Of course, we'll.

[Lacy Mosley]

I gotta get my balance bracelet.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I know. We should talk about fit. I mean, you want to talk fitness scams? There's like, we can talk for fucking. You got eight. I'm sure you. I'm sure you have a dozen episodes about fitness scams.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

Not including the one we just recorded.

[Lacy Mosley]

Literally. And as always, y'all, send in your letters to us. Snitch on your friends, family, and your [e-mail]. keep it short and cute, y'all, because we want to hear what y'all are going up to. Getting up to. Wow. Phrases in my brain are really working today.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Put your bracelet back on. Oh, shit.

[Lacy Mosley]

Shit. Okay, and I'm back. And suddenly I can speak clearer and crisper ever before. Okay.

[John Gabrus]

Strength, endurance, stre, flexibility.

[Lacy Mosley]

I'm now doing this podcast from the other side of the room, upside down in a headstand. Okay. It just instantly happens.

[John Gabrus]

Lacey's in a van dam split across two office chairs.

[Lacy Mosley]

Yes. Because that's what this bracelet does for you. But yes, Scam got a [e-mail]. just make sure your scam is retired, because we don't want to wet. Yes. Fuck up your bag. A man. A scam. And if you want to find me D I V A L A C I Diva Lacey on all platforms. And if you want to see all of these great videos of Shaq and so much balancing happening here. Scam got his pod on Instagram. And if you want to chat with me, Scam Goddess pod on Twitter, and you can get on Hulu and watch Scam Goddess, a television show. You can also watch Going Dutch on Hulu right now. And you can pick up my book wherever books are sold or audiobooks are sold. Congregation, I want y'all to get out there and stay balanced. Okay? Scam Goddess, this has been an Airwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming. All set for your flight? Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T Mobile headphones.

[John Gabrus]

Wait.

[Lacy Mosley]

T Mobile? You bet. Free inflight Wi Fi 15 off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere with without T Mobile. Same goes from a water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. I'm gonna leave you to it.

[John Gabrus]

Find out how you can experience travel better@t mobile.com Travel qualifying plan required. Wi Fi were available on select US airlines. Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15 discount terms and conditions apply. Presents. In the red corner, the undisputed undefeated weed whacker guy. Champion of hurling grass and pollen everywhere. And in the blue corner, the challenger, extra strength Pataday eye drops that work all day to prevent the release of histamines that cause itchy allergy eyes. And the winner by knockout is Pataday. Pataday. Bring it on.