Loading summary
Transcript487 lines
- [00:01]
A
Scams.
- [00:03]
B
Ca.
- [00:05]
A
Robbery and fraud. Scam. Cause Robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's poppin, Congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. And we're back for another installment of Scammer Scam Goddess. Okay, And y' all say it with me. Say I'm. I'mma do it right. I am so. What? I am so excited. Yes. For this guest today, and I am. Guys, we have a hilarious comedian. I love when we get a New York comedian because it just have just a certain spice and flavor, you know what I mean? Like, they got that. That bodega, bacon, egg and cheese vibe that I'm with. You know what I'm talking about? And he's got a popping ass comedy album out right now. It's been reviewed in the New York Times, submitted for a Grammy. Like, when I tell you this man is hilarious, y'. All. Are y' all ready? Okay. And that. And that. That comedy album. I know you're asking because you're gonna turn it on right after this, aren't you? Yeah. It's called Live from the Comedy Trap House. So go ahead and get. Get into it. Get that in your earbuds. Yes. Okay, we have the. Nori Davis. What's up, Nori?
- [01:15]
B
I'm good, Lace. Lacey. How you doing, man? Thank you for having me.
- [01:19]
A
Thank you for being here. Yo, I love that we just met on this zoom. And look, now my fake New York accent is coming out. You know, hey, I see what you trying to do.
- [01:28]
B
I see what you're trying to do, but you don't have to do it that, you know, you already real. You being with us all.
- [01:33]
A
I lived in New York for two years and I said, no, thank you.
- [01:37]
B
Oh, really? I don't blame you. What got you? Was it the weather or was it the actual, like, trash ass people out here? What got you?
- [01:43]
A
It was a combination. Honestly, the people were great. I love the people in New York. I like. I'm very, like, straightforward. So it's nice to just be able to be like, nah. Out of people's face. And it's cool. You know, it was. It was the trains and the weather. I was like. It was just too much of a fight. Like, winter is eight months a year. That's the ghetto. Why is it eight months?
- [02:07]
B
I love the weather. Cause I love the change of it. Cause, like, New York is like. It will give you vast differences of changes of, like, look, can you handle me when I'm cold? Can you? Can you handle when I'm hot? Can you handle me when I'm humid, nigga. Can you handle me when I'm wet? All that shit. I love all that shit.
- [02:23]
A
But do you see how you're saying the weather is challenging? You like, the weather's like, can you handle me? Like, that's too like, I need the weather to just be weathering. Don't be trying to put me through shit.
- [02:33]
B
Like, yeah, no, I love that shit. That shit be built. Built in my character. I don't know. I guess it's just. It doesn't. It's just not boring for me. And like. Cause like, versus I know you in la, that sunshine never gave my depression satisfaction. This is like, my nigga, you sunny again.
- [02:51]
A
Like, stop. Okay, I will tell the truth, Shannon. I'll tell the truth. Nori, you're right about that because I actually have been listening to rain sounds like I listen to rain so much that I have my favorite rain albums and my favorite rain songs. And I'm like, ooh, this rain on a tin roof. And it be just getting like, ooh, there you go. All right.
- [03:10]
B
I ain't want to feel like an asshole, Lacey. That's just me though, like. Cause I lived out there for four months and I remember that last month was just killing me. Like I was like in between gigs, unemployed. I got like a riding job, but then like. And I never adjusted to that three hour shit. I don't know what white person made that up, but them days be long as like. And then that son just out there cheesing and you like, my nigga, I'm sad. Like, can you rain? Can you bring in a tornado? Can you do something that can justify my sadness? It doesn't, so. And I want to give you another thing where the subways are better in la so you can come back. Since COVID I have been to New
- [03:52]
A
York during COVID and the subways was still looking how they had looked. Not fresh. No, it's better.
- [03:58]
B
No, it's only open from like, I think 6am and it closes at 1 in the morning. You know, it's like a heroin addict who got his act together. It's like, look, man, I ain't even open that long now. You know what I'm saying? I go to work during the day, you know what I'm saying? And then I go back to bed.
- [04:16]
A
I'm weak. It's better now. Not just saying it's better now. I can't. Look, I love New York, but I always say I would never live in New York again unless I was so rich that my skin never had to touch the natural air. Like, I wanna be Mariah Carey. Rich to live in New York like I need. I never go outside. It's just from car to garage.
- [04:39]
B
I love that for you. I love that for you. And you sound like that's what you want. That sounds like you. Like, these are my standards. New York, bring it. Or I'm staying my ass over here.
- [04:48]
A
I am. Even though, listen, LA is raggedy too. And the sun is clocking out this daylight saving time. I don't know if it's just 2020, but the days are short as hell. I'll be turning around, it's 4pm Ain't no more sun. I was like, bitch, how the sun gonna leave early? You can't leave early. Like, what you doing?
- [05:05]
B
Bye. See y' all later. I gotta go. Leaving work all early and shit. Bye, y'. All.
- [05:10]
A
Right. Like, you were supposed to go for lunch. You can't leave after your lunch.
- [05:14]
B
You can't leave for the day. Yeah, right, son. Did you leave for the day again? No, I told you, I already put my hours in for the week. I told you my cousin was coming, right?
- [05:23]
A
Look, I had to pick her up from the airport, so I'm gone.
- [05:26]
B
I told y' all that. I really told you that. Check your email. Check your email.
- [05:30]
A
Oh, my goodness. Oh, Nori. This is wonderful. For you guys who don't know, I met Nori on this zoom today, and he feels like my cousin.
- [05:37]
B
So this is just. We fam. Ain't nothing, baby. You know what I'm saying? I love it, too. It's all about the vibes, baby. All about the fact.
- [05:43]
A
Yes. Nor do you have any relationship with scams.
- [05:47]
B
Oh, man. Yeah. I mean, come on. I'm a millennial.
- [05:50]
A
You look like I was the feds the way you looks like I was the feds.
- [05:55]
B
Wait, you trying to come up off on me? Like, did somebody tell you something? Is that why?
- [05:59]
A
Tell me the crime you did?
- [06:01]
B
Hey, yo, say I'm. I'm always scared. I hate. I hate when my phone's just like, is this. Allow current locations. And I'm like, my nigga, why don't worry about where I'm at, right?
- [06:12]
A
I do the same thing. It's like, oh, we need your info for cookies. No, you don't get no cookies or no milk.
- [06:19]
B
What was the other day? I went on Barnes and Noble, like, just to go on there, and it was just like, oh, can. We want to use your low. We want to use your current location. Allow or don't allow. And I'm always like, don't allow what the, man? I'm just on here. I'm just looking for a book. I'll tell you what location I want to go through. Algorithm.
- [06:39]
A
Do you feel like you're closer to, like, being a scammer or being someone who is scammed like a mark? Like, have you ever been scammed?
- [06:48]
B
Yeah, I get scammed. I'm. I'm so gullible. I'm an empath. I. You tell me I have no lie detector. I'm a fucking empath. I will believe you. You know what I'm saying? Like, I will believe you. I will believe I can be manipulated. Like, I'm just need to. I'm learning to set my boundaries and know, like, telling what was right and wrong. But, yeah, I'm a gullible motherfucker. Like, first little scam that got me was like, yeah, back in the day was sneakers, man. Sneakers. Like, going to Fordham Road and copping. Got copping Jordans and thinking them shits is real. And then niggas point out, like, yo,
- [07:26]
A
you thought they were real on Fordham.
- [07:28]
B
Fordham Road? Yeah.
- [07:29]
A
How much did they cost?
- [07:30]
B
Oh, they cost about. They upped the price on them because then you think it's, like, real. Like, it's a resale price. But this is when resale. The resale market was not even huge, so they were just jacking the price up to make it seem like the sneaker was real and it wasn't, but damn.
- [07:48]
A
So they. I thought they was giving you the discount that you were getting. Like, you thought you got the hookup, not them selling them premium price.
- [07:54]
B
Yeah, that was straight. Like, that's when China. Chinatown was in that like.
- [07:58]
A
Or Jordan was dunking backwards.
- [08:01]
B
Jordan was talking backwards.
- [08:02]
A
He had two hands on the rim.
- [08:04]
B
He had a big booty. Two hands on the rims. He had. He had cankles tripping. And I cop. I caught. I remember caught some fake Jordans. That was. But me and my boys knew it was fake, so we knew it was a scam. But we was the type of niggas, like, fuck it. We gonna accept the decision we make, and we got confidence with it. We can scam these other niggas in school so they can think we fly, so we would. It was a royal blue patent leather 11 Jordan. Now, I don't know if you're familiar with the Concords. You know the Concords?
- [08:37]
A
Yes, I am familiar with the Concords.
- [08:39]
B
All right, dope. Imagine those were royal blue. That never came Out. Yeah.
- [08:46]
A
I was like, that's not what.
- [08:47]
B
That's not even the sneaker. That's not a thing at all. But we was like, yo, these just came out. They're exclusive. You even know. And in school, be like, where you got that from? He's like, yo, we went to. For them road. They was like, oh, for them. Oh. Because that was. That was a place in the Bronx where I'm like, I'm from Yonkers, New York. So it's like. It's like an hour outside the Bronx or even, like, even less than that. Like, right. Right outside the Bronx. So going shopping in the Bronx was a huge deal. Like, damn, you got a car. You got your mom's car, right?
- [09:19]
A
It's a lot of distance to travel in the Bronx.
- [09:21]
B
And I'm talking. We're talking high school. So, you know, when you 18, 17, shit is huge. Like, everything is big, you know? Right. $125 sneakers, basically. $600 to you at 18.
- [09:34]
A
True.
- [09:35]
B
I remember going to Sammy's and having a coogee sweater. Like, back when it was dope. A Coogee sweater. Look. Yeah, right? A coogee sweater had to be like, 350. But I remember being 17. Like, oh, my God, I'm gonna have to get, like, three jobs, and I'm gonna have to get, like, a loan. There's no way I can ask my mom for that. Like, it was a lot. Three jobs and alone. My. Like, I was like, but so. And yeah, so we. We finessed everybody in school. Like, yo, yeah, I got the new Jays with the royal blue, and it wasn't even my size back then. I wore like a. It wasn't. It wasn't. I was that thirsty.
- [10:18]
A
Did you get them bigger so you could grow into them?
- [10:21]
B
So my boy bought them. My boy bought them. And, like, it was like a three crew shit situation. My Johnny and my Will and not
- [10:31]
A
the whole crew wearing the same shoes.
- [10:32]
B
Yes. Oh, yes, yes. So nobody even knew. We scammed. We scammed ourselves. We scammed the school. They didn't even know. They were just like, yeah, we got all three of them. Like, we not gonna wear them at the same time. Like, that's what we would tell people. Like, so I would wear them, like, on a. A Monday, and then Johnny wear them on a Wednesday.
- [10:50]
A
Y' all had a chore chart for him. You like. And you get them on Friday, but only until 6.
- [10:55]
B
Yeah, we only did that for a little bit until just like, yo, this is not real, bro. What you doing?
- [11:01]
A
Y' all convince people they were real, though. And I love that y' all advertised for the scam, y'. All. Yeah, yeah, Y' all could get some too down on Fordham, bro.
- [11:09]
B
Yeah, like, where. Where did you grow up in high school? Like, what high school you went to?
- [11:13]
A
I went to Liberty High School in Frisco, Texas. Wait, do you actually know where Frisco, Texas is?
- [11:22]
B
No, I do not. No.
- [11:24]
A
The way you said word, though,
- [11:28]
B
I'm just agreeing with you. Like, all right, word. Word. Like, not. Not word. Like, yeah, I know where it's at. I'm sorry. That gave that up.
- [11:34]
A
I always say Dallas. I let my guard down, Nori, And I told you where I'm really from. I always say Dallas because no one knows for certain, but it's like, a very white suburban area, and we. I was, you know, my skin like Napoleon Dynamite.
- [11:51]
B
You grew up in Napoleon Dynamite type situation?
- [11:56]
A
If it was, like, nicer.
- [11:58]
B
Okay, okay. If it was nicer.
- [12:01]
A
It was so nice. Like, the police followed me around my neighborhood every time I went home.
- [12:05]
B
Really?
- [12:07]
A
Like, nigger, you don't live here.
- [12:08]
B
What the hell you doing here? My family's right over there, and they're waving, right?
- [12:15]
A
No, literally. I kept my Texas ID for so long, it was illegal to have my ID in California. When you move to California, you're supposed to, in the first three months, get a new ID that says you're from California. And the reason for that is because of a previous episode I did with Jacquees Neal, where you can totally do insurance fraud if you don't have the right address. And we did.
- [12:34]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [12:36]
A
I was like, oh, yes. We did that, too. That's why you have to do that. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.
- [12:43]
B
Yeah. When I used to.
- [12:44]
A
That nigga will never find me.
- [12:46]
B
He ain't gonna find me at all. Ain't my address. Wow. I still do that. Like, even with medical records, they all have my. My last two home addresses. I never give my current one. I don't.
- [12:58]
A
That's.
- [12:59]
B
That's a tip for anybody listening. Never give your current one, man. You just don't know when is out here looking for you, man. Just give them. Give them the last two where you was living at. Let that. Let that junk mail go over there. Don't need that Penny Saver looking for your ass.
- [13:13]
A
You should never be found is what we're saying by anyway.
- [13:16]
B
That's right.
- [13:17]
A
But yeah.
- [13:18]
B
Okay.
- [13:18]
A
So I also.
- [13:19]
B
I'm sorry. Yes. So you grew up in Fresco. Go ahead.
- [13:21]
A
Yeah, I kept that ID and Then I would have to use it a lot to show police officers that I lived in my neighborhood. But my scam in high school was my mom never let me go nowhere. She never let me go nowhere to see nobody. I was in the house. I was on MySpace and Facebook, and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere. So the only way I could go places was if I was involved in stuff. So I would get involved in everything. I was student council president. I was class president. I was a cheerleader squad. I ran track. I was like, oh, we do things.
- [13:59]
B
Chess club. I'm the black queens gambit.
- [14:04]
A
The black.
- [14:04]
B
I'm in the art squad.
- [14:08]
A
Listen, that was my dad. He taught me chess. And then he just beat me all the time. And he would. He would place bets and be like, well, if you lose, you gotta watch my golf clubs. And I would always lose.
- [14:17]
B
And I was like, oh, God, what's happening? Yeah, yeah. He's just trying to get you to do a chore the easy way, right? Yeah, my mom was like that, too. She tried. Well, she tried to be like that. And I. I'm. I would just try to. I would finesse my way out of it. Like, I. I finessed her to, like, give me my. Give me the car and borrow it. And then she would just go wilding out on my voicemail. Like, bring the fucking call back. Why you always going out? And then when she seen me, I just finesse her again. Like, hey, I just want to go out and share. Like, she tried to be that type of mom. I'm like. But it's different from, like, a male woman.
- [14:49]
A
You have a very diffusing face.
- [14:51]
B
I get it.
- [14:52]
A
I feel like if you. I said you have a very, like, diffusing energy and face. I feel like if you were like, come on, it's not that big of a deal. I'd be like, you're right.
- [15:02]
B
I feel like you can hit me
- [15:03]
A
with your car and then get out and be like, come on, girl, walk it off. And I'd be like, you're right. I can walk, Lacey, walk.
- [15:11]
B
I feel like you would get me.
- [15:12]
A
You should. You should consider scamming.
- [15:15]
B
But I just wanted to give you a limp. You look cute with a limp. You know what I'm saying? Girl.
- [15:22]
A
Girl, come on, girl. That look good on you. Your booty look fat with that limp. You know what I'm saying?
- [15:27]
B
Just want to play.
- [15:28]
A
Let's get into our first segment, which we're late as hell, and that is on me, because I like talking to you. It Is what's hot and fraud. So this is where we warn our listeners about a popping scam. Or I take a letter from you and your friends where you hopefully snitching on yourself or your loved ones. And today we're taking a listener letter. And Nori, I'm gonna need a fake name from you, okay?
- [15:50]
B
Fake name. A fake name for me is Franco. Franco, Billy.
- [15:58]
A
Franco, Frank.
- [16:00]
B
Franco Benson. Franco Benson.
- [16:02]
A
What a New York fake name.
- [16:04]
B
Franco Benson.
- [16:05]
A
So Franco Benson says hi. I'm writing because I got scammed today. And this was on November 29th.
- [16:15]
B
God damn. Just a couple days ago. Damn.
- [16:18]
A
On Black Friday.
- [16:19]
B
Is that Black Friday?
- [16:20]
A
Freckles said I was scammed. Let me hop immediately on my email. And as I want you all to do that scamgottispod@gmail.com, snitch on your friends, your family and yourself immediately tell me as it's happening, I want to know before the cops pull up what happened?
- [16:34]
B
Black Friday. Got that?
- [16:36]
A
So, baby, don't call the cops, okay? So I was writing because I'm scammed today. This morning, I missed a call from someone who I believe to be from my bank. I looked up the number and it matched their fraud department. So I answered the phone. When they called me back a few minutes later, the man on the line seemed perfectly legitimate. He started the call off in a normal manner. He asked me to verify some recent declined purchases. He knew my name, et cetera. In hindsight, some of the things he asked were sketchy as hell. He said, what is your PIN number now?
- [17:08]
B
Nah, yeah, come on, come on.
- [17:10]
A
We've talked about this. The bank ask you your pin. The bank already knows your pin. I mean, did they even ask him
- [17:17]
B
for his account number first? Did they go straight to the pen?
- [17:20]
A
My. Hey, Franco, it's us. Your bank. What's your pen?
- [17:24]
B
Your PIN number. Yeah. Hey, Frank, like, wait, not even my whole name? Hey, Frank, what's up? We knew you call what's your pen, man, we're having trouble here. I mean, you said you have trouble. We knew you had the trouble. So what's your pin? Right?
- [17:40]
A
I know we call checks bank and I hate to chase you down, but we need your pin. They will never ask you that. I told you guys, your bank is like a very jealous girlfriend that you're constantly cheating on. She is suspicious. She will be like, okay, who are you texting now? I don't even just say she, she or he or non binary. They. Let's go with that. They will be like, who you Talking to. Okay, so you went to what grocery store and you got apples. You don't even like apples. We freezing this. Like, they're very petty and small. So.
- [18:17]
B
And the reason. And the reason that they're petty is because that money that you think that's yours, they're investing it and using it all over. They're buying real estate with that shit. So that number that's in the bank is like, yeah, that's what you got. But they using that shit. So when you want to cash out, they like, wait a minute. What's the problem? What's the problem?
- [18:35]
A
You're doing the most right now. You want all your money.
- [18:38]
B
They set notifications like, why are you buying? Why are you in H and M? What's the problem? Why do you keep using our money? I mean, your money. I'm sorry.
- [18:46]
A
We in a panoramic. The fuck do you need skinny jeans for? Go home.
- [18:52]
B
Go home. You don't need that. So just know that that's your money. But they know that they using your
- [18:56]
A
money, so they using your money, and they don't want you using it. That's why they got all them spending trackers. You think they trying to help you? They not trying to help. Trying to help them. They, like, we trying to show you you eating at restaurants too much. Because we are trying to put this money into the housing bubble. Come on, now. Facts, facts, facts.
- [19:12]
B
All the facts.
- [19:13]
A
You don't need postmates ever re night. The fuck?
- [19:16]
B
Exactly. What the hell y' all doing, man? Stop spending all our money. I mean, your money. All right, go ahead.
- [19:20]
A
Right. Exactly. Our money, your money, our money. So what is your PIN number? And then Franco says, I can't believe I fell for that. He said he was going to close out my debit cards and send a new card via FedEx, which is what t me off that I fucked up. My information was very recently compromised, and I had to get a new debit card. And they sent that joint through The Regular DeGular. USPS Woo. At USPS. I used to drag y' all girls, but now I know the government ain't giving you coins. Uncle Sam cut you off from your allowance, and that's why y' all trash. Because y' all are trash, but it's not your fault. But y' all are trash.
- [19:58]
B
And, like, the bank never tells you what they're sending it. They don't send FedEx. They say mail. They just say.
- [20:04]
A
They say mail.
- [20:06]
B
They say mail. Oh, man. And they don't even say when. They don't Say when either.
- [20:12]
A
The bank is the most entitled bitch I've ever met. She be having your money, the money you make.
- [20:16]
B
That's right.
- [20:16]
A
And she be like, girl, you get it. When you get it, it's like, it'll
- [20:20]
B
be out there between two weeks to 17 months. You'll get it.
- [20:24]
A
Yeah, you gonna get it, though. Like, don't.
- [20:26]
B
Ain't gonna give me money.
- [20:27]
A
Like, why are you acting like you need money? That's weird.
- [20:29]
B
Are you poor, right?
- [20:32]
A
Be gaslighting the shit out of you. Def. Don't send it through FedEx. So still I double checked the number, and it was from their fraud department. So I figured because my account was so compromised that they were going to send it extra secure via FedEx. See you putting stuff on it. What we talking about? Okam's Razor. The simplest conclusion is the right one, which is that you being robbed. Like, don't be trying to put. They say all that.
- [20:59]
B
He was telling himself something. Franco was telling him a lie so he can make himself feel better. Like, yeah, this is. This is right. And it's like, no, man. You know, listen to that instinct.
- [21:08]
A
It was already too late.
- [21:09]
B
The instinct was trying. Instinct was trying. They were just like, you know what? It's too late, bro. Like, yeah, they trying to make it secure, make you not feel as bad,
- [21:16]
A
and we gotta stop doing that. Guys, I highly recommend watching the Undoing if you like Caucasian myths. And I love you caught up. Okay. Oh, my God, bro, we can't spoil it. I won't. Even though I don't believe in spoilers. If you ain't watched it in six hours in one sitting, like I did, that's your fault.
- [21:35]
B
But I agree. That shit came the fuck out. You better hurry up. You better hurry up and get on it. But the Undoing is. Is for people who just hate liars and manipulators, and they're the ones that get caught by them. And I am one of them. So, yeah, that. That got me.
- [21:52]
A
I was undid by the end. I was like, oh, I'm undid. Okay, Y' all did that. Y' all undid that.
- [22:00]
B
They undid it real good. And then. Mother. All right, so we can talk about this. Like, the white rich ass. With the. With the. With the. With the helicopter, they like, oh, my God, get the chopper. It's like, what type of superhero is that? When you in trouble, y' all. Rich, rich. You can hop to a helicopter bay, manfet, and you in the air and there's no type of interference, and you flying and did you peep?
- [22:34]
A
Did you peep that dad knew the helicopter plane, the air pilot's name.
- [22:38]
B
He was like, bob, Bob, Bob, let's go. Let's get out of here.
- [22:41]
A
And it's just.
- [22:42]
B
And it looked like.
- [22:42]
A
Pull the chopper around.
- [22:45]
B
The way they shot. It looked like Nicole was flying the motherfucker. I'm like, who's flying this bitch?
- [22:49]
A
They even show the pilot we're too rich. Oh, God. It's just like secession. Like, they're constantly in helicopters. And I'm like, oh, okay. This is the vibe. Okay, got it.
- [23:00]
B
Oh, yeah. Secession. I was in secession. Check that out. Season two. Yeah.
- [23:06]
A
Okay, I gotta go back and watch again, because I've seen it.
- [23:09]
B
All right, so remember. Remember they were at a banquet and this comedian was roasting the family? That was. That's me.
- [23:17]
A
That's you.
- [23:18]
B
That's. Yeah, I'm the one that spoiled the million dollar deal right there of the sexual harassment instead of roasting him. And then. And Roy ran out the room like, what the fuck? And then the white lady ran out, too. Yeah, and then I blew. I blew the deal off the Roy's. Yeah.
- [23:34]
A
Oh, my God, Nora. Even more now.
- [23:37]
B
Oh, I love that show. That show's fire. I love that show. And then when I got that audition, I was like, yo, I gotta do this. And then I just. I did. I just did my best stand up. And, like, niggas just. They fucked with it, so. Hell, yeah.
- [23:48]
A
Oh, my God. Let me finish this letter, Jesus. Nor I this. I'm sorry, y'.
- [23:53]
B
All.
- [23:53]
A
It's gonna be a lot of departures because I just like talking to this. So y' all just got to hear us connect and y' all will be fine. They like. They like the departures. They be acting like they don't, but then they be like, we do.
- [24:05]
B
Yeah, I mean, that's what.
- [24:06]
A
I'm also SC My fans. Is that clear? Because I'm afraid of them. The congregation. Listen, they're churchgoers and they're. They're mean sometimes, so I am afraid of them.
- [24:16]
B
Oh, you got the Bible belt. You got the Bible fan bases, baby. Baby, stick to the goddamn story. I mean, Jesus Christ. I mean, Lord the saints, but stick to the story, baby. You got all over the place.
- [24:28]
A
Listen, we came in here for a sermon like we do every Tuesday, and there you are making several departures. Past scammers, though, like, just like, they were called on by God. I was called on by God to talk about scams. I believe.
- [24:44]
B
Hey, facts. The whole religion is a Goddamn activity.
- [24:49]
A
But we not going to say no. We can't do that too much because my mama already called me, and she was like, you need to stop talking about organized religion being a scam. I was like, but it is.
- [24:59]
B
Well, but it is. But it's okay, mama. It ain't for you.
- [25:03]
A
That's right. I be getting my vibes. Listen, I still go to my scam church, okay? And every devotion. That's what Baptists call the musical part. Devotion. Devotion is lit. That's my favorite part. Everybody starts singing and clapping, and I feel the Holy Ghost. Anyways, there you go. Y' all even remember where we are in this story? I'm gonna remind y'. All. So this is like. This is where Franco was like, okay, FedEx is probably legit. Like, convincing himself in his mind, knowing damn well, putting on his red hair wig and his fake American accent and being Nicole Kidman. So he says, anyways, a couple of hours later, I get an alert that my account balance is below the threshold. Ooh, I think that's $25. I think that's the threshold, which is low.
- [25:46]
B
25 $15. That's low. You don't.
- [25:49]
A
So it says, I check my account and there are all these seven eleven and Dollar Tree charges. I don't shop there. I'm bougie.
- [25:57]
B
Oh, damn.
- [25:59]
A
Okay, listen, don't knock a dollar tree, okay? Cause sometimes you have to go to the Dollar Sycamore and get St. 7 11.
- [26:06]
B
They got. They got Fiji water. They got some name brand stuff in there.
- [26:10]
A
7 or 11. You ain't never needed something at 7 or 11. Come on now.
- [26:13]
B
This person was living. This person's like a everyday low price, lower middle class person. That's just like using this car now. Like, I just need some. I need some errands. I'm running some errands with your shit.
- [26:23]
A
They said, I. But Franco said, I buy my toilet paper from Erewhon. I have never been to a 7 11.
- [26:31]
B
I go to Costco and buy in bulk.
- [26:36]
A
I dial the exact same p. Oh, oh, pnc. Now, I know that bank. That's Pennsylvania, Ohio. So it says I die. So I dialed the exact same PNC number to yell about my debit card not being shut down. The very kind customer service person was like, nah, you been scammed, honey.
- [26:58]
B
Damn, not that.
- [27:00]
A
Picking up the phone and telling you, damn.
- [27:04]
B
Wait, so this is the actual bank that said that? Or is that the same number that they called?
- [27:09]
A
They never talked to the bank. Franco was only talking to a scammer. But the scammers, usually, once they get you, they get you, and they move on. They don't pick up the phone and be like, hello, robbery? Oh, yes. No, you were a part of a robbery. We had robbed you. Like, they don't pick up and tell you, oh, my God.
- [27:26]
B
But this one did. This is very good. This is riveting.
- [27:30]
A
Oh, my goodness.
- [27:31]
B
This is the undoing.
- [27:32]
A
This is undid. Oh, my God. You was undid.
- [27:34]
B
It's about to be undone. Undid.
- [27:37]
A
Oh, my God. They had undid you. That ain't right.
- [27:39]
B
Yeah, so they're like, yeah, nah, you've been scammed. You've been scammed, bro. But before you report it, I just need to run over the codes real quick. If you.
- [27:49]
A
I just need to know, how was your scam? Did you appreciate. Like, how was the customer service in your scam?
- [27:55]
B
How was the service? Can you. Ten being satisfactory, one being that is not satisfactory. What would you rate?
- [28:02]
A
How convinced were you that you were being hoodwinked? You motherfuckers.
- [28:05]
B
I want to give you a two. All right, sir. No need to yell. We will definitely take that into consideration.
- [28:12]
A
Oh, no. Oh, I love this letter so much. So she says, this is actually a woman, but I like Franco, so we staying with Franco. She says. So my husband and I were discussing Franco. If Franco can be a woman. We hide the identities here. She gonna know when she hear this letter. She gonna know. So I feel. So she says, my husband and I were discussing and determined that these people must be using VOIP numbers, meaning mass numbers, to defraud people. We've talked about that before. You can absolutely do this. That's why I always tell you guys, if the Social Security Department calls, you talk about they need to verify something, hang up and call the same number back. And I know that seems crazy, but they're calling with a mass number. That's not really.
- [28:57]
B
Who the fuck damn Social King.
- [28:59]
A
They Social Security don't give a fuck
- [29:00]
B
about what's happening out here. Wow.
- [29:02]
A
And they definitely ain't gonna call you. The Social Security Agency ain't got nothing urgent for your ass. Not urgent for a photo.
- [29:06]
B
So I feel like this lady is definitely, like, baby boomer, right? I think we're talking baby boomer because I feel like younger. I don't answer. I don't answer numbers I don't know, period. Like, oh, my God, no. Ooh, she black. Oh, they got her. Oh, they don't got Lucille. They got Lucille. They got her.
- [29:28]
A
Not a queen.
- [29:30]
B
Yeah, they got the queen. They got queen.
- [29:31]
A
During the Panty that ain't right. During the Panasonic Queen. I'm sorry.
- [29:35]
B
And if she's older, they're. They're. They're easy to get because technology and it's. It's hard to know what's real. Like, my mom still answers all the spam emails. And, like, oh, they said I won. I'm like, ma, you ain't answered. You ain't win. Okay, stop it. You ain't win nothing. Stop that, please. Please don't re. Don't reply to that.
- [29:54]
A
Marriott ain't got no rewards for you. They calling out, that's not real. It's not real.
- [29:59]
B
It's not real. It's not real.
- [30:01]
A
They figured out that it was a fake number. See, here's the thing, though. She doesn't give me boomer vibes because voip is something that. Like, she was on the Interwebs. Like, she was on the dark web, you know, doing the race to figure all this out. So she says. This felt next level to me, and I wanted to share. It is next level. We do talk about this on the show a lot, but if you're not caught up or if you haven't listened to every episode, which I'm so shocked at how many of you have, which. I love you. Thank you. We talk about fake phone numbers, so you can't just trust the number because the number appears on your phone and looks like, oh, it comes from the bank or the Social Security department. You have to hang up and call back. If you feel like something's amiss and don't. Don't undo yourself, y'. All. If you feel any little tiny feeling, even if you're wrong, what does it hurt if you're wrong? To just do it and just be like, I'm getting off the phone. I'm not dealing with this. What does that hurt? Nothing. You can call the bank back. The bank gon be there. Their job. They hold jobs, taking your money.
- [31:02]
B
I got to that. Lacey, you right. I gotta add one more treat your phone. Treat somebody calling your phone just like somebody knocking on your door. If ain't nobody ever text you or say they coming, then it ain't for you, right? So if. If you see a number just calling, and I hear. I say this before, and I hear people saying, like, well, maybe it's somebody in my family that got hurt and they gotta use another number. Number. Well, then they gonna leave a voicemail, because them other numbers never leave a voicemail. So it. Wait for that. Don't answer numbers. You don't know that. Gonna call you. If it's somebody your family, they don't call you, they gonna tell you, they gonna text you first or you gonna put in your contacts. This is Fred. And then when they call you again, you know it's fucking Fred. But if it's some 888 or a number that look real, don't ever, ever, ever answer it. Let that shit go to voice. Let voicemail. Take care. Voicemail's your friend, y', all right?
- [31:56]
A
And listen, I have had to call my mother from another phone number because my dumb ass, this is. I don't know what's wrong with me, but you know on the holidays you like give your agents gifts, right? So my agents are at caa, which is very, very big. And like, like I, and I. I don't mean that in like the. Oh, I have big agents. I mean that in like the building itself. In Los Angeles.
- [32:20]
B
Yeah, yeah, I've been there.
- [32:23]
A
I go thinking, I'm just gonna drop off my little presents to them, like, and I'm leaving them at the front desk. And I had just bought this car. Brand new or not brand new, I think I got it used. Why did I know that? But it's a nice car.
- [32:37]
B
I don't know what it is. I think it was a sleigh. I don't know, whatever.
- [32:40]
A
Ew. What? It's a nice enough car that I started to trust the car, which don't do. So I think my key fob was out of battery. I left my keys in the car. Cause I'm trying to pull these gifts out. Left my fucking phone in the car. Oh, Lord, all I had was the gifts. I walk in, give the gifts, I get locked out. I'm like distraught. So I have to go back in and I have to use one of the desk assistants phones to call my mother. And so, yeah, my mom did have to pick up from several different random numbers. But guess what? It's me on the. You know what I mean? It's like, exactly.
- [33:19]
B
You could feel the vibe.
- [33:19]
A
I mean, just feel the vibe, guys.
- [33:22]
B
Feel the vibe of it. Answer it. If it's somebody that's like, yo, it's me. They identify themselves. And you like, oh, okay, I know who you are. And then continue on. But if you don't know the person, hang up.
- [33:34]
A
Also, if anybody wants anything from you, and this is just a rule of thumb for life, if people want shit from you, you need to question their motives always and often and frequent. I do it all the fucking time. And sometimes I feel like a song. So, like a psychopath. Cause literally, someone called me that I work with who I had never talked to on the phone yesterday, and I was like, oh, what happened? What's the tea? Is she mad? What's happening? My head is spinning. Cause I'm like, why are you calling me? And at the end of the phone call, she was just like, I just wanted to check on you and see if you were good. And I know it's a hard time. And I was like, oh, she was just calling to be nice.
- [34:08]
B
Wow. Wow. All right. You just start spiraling.
- [34:13]
A
But you should. We should all spiral. I am encouraging you to spiral if it keeps you from getting robbed. So. So she says, I feel like I should have known better because my students are always telling me about the hot and fraud on the street.
- [34:26]
B
Students? See, she's a teacher. Yeah. She. Oh, I'm telling you, she owes.
- [34:29]
A
And she said, screets, hey, sis. Franco, I love you. She said on the screets. And I was still had.
- [34:35]
B
Not up on technology like that poor thing.
- [34:38]
A
I never really read the nice things, but she said some nice things at the end and stuff about isolation and stuff. And I'm. I, I, I, I hear y'. All listen. I listen to my favorite podcast every Tuesday, too, and it makes me feel like I'm with friends.
- [34:54]
B
So.
- [34:54]
A
Also, I love recording podcasts because now I get to talk to Nori for an hour. Guys, wait, so she.
- [34:59]
B
So she, she. She does a spam scam, and then at the end, she's like, so let me tell you else what's happening on with me. And you're like, wait, girl, this is a little.
- [35:10]
A
No, it's just a little nice note. And I. But I like that you guys. You said you never read it, though.
- [35:15]
B
That's cold. No, I read it. I don't read the end.
- [35:19]
A
No, I read it. I read it. I don't say it on the air. It's our personal moment.
- [35:25]
B
Okay, okay. You guys send nice things.
- [35:28]
A
So, like, still send nice things. But, yeah, I just read it to myself and cry silently. So. All right, we're gonna take a quick break. The structure of this podcast has fallen apart. We're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back. Non scam advertisements scams. Guys, we're back. And did you like that 40 minute first half? That was definitely not supposed to be 40 minutes. Those of you, they loved it. Those of you who know the structure
- [36:02]
B
of this podcast are screaming, scam goddess, baby.
- [36:06]
A
They're like, where Is historic hoodwinks. What is happening? So historic hoodwinks. It took me 30 minutes to read a letter. Guys, it's quarantine. Leave me alone. So, guys, historic hoodwinks. As you guys know, if you listen to the podcast or if you're new, this is where I will regale Nori with a famous hoodwink, and we'll just get his thoughts and opinions throughout. So today we're talking about Big Bertha, the grifter who swindled her way into her own one woman show.
- [36:34]
B
Mm.
- [36:35]
A
Big birthday. Sounds like my kind of.
- [36:37]
B
What year is this? Sounds like a 60s, 40s, 20s?
- [36:40]
A
Like 19th century. Yeah, 19th century. All right, baby. We're going to 1888. We're going to 1888. It's 1888.
- [36:50]
B
I got it. I got it. This is Lovecraft. Lovecraft country, episode five. Let's go.
- [36:55]
A
Yo, can I. Can I secretly say y' all don't tell. Everybody be quiet. Don't tell. That show was confusing.
- [37:03]
B
All right, so you know what it is? It's kind of like Game of Thrones. You gotta, like, watch it again and again, and then you'll get it. So how many if you watch only three times.
- [37:14]
A
You in the cult. That's what's happening. You in the cult.
- [37:16]
B
I ain't no damn cult.
- [37:17]
A
Yo, you talking about. I gotta watch it six times so I can get it. You in the cult.
- [37:20]
B
I said three. I said three. I said 3.
- [37:23]
A
Said you ain't. You ain't send Jordan Peele $30 yet. That's why you don't get it.
- [37:28]
B
And you gotta know each episode is its own story. You know what I'm saying? It's not. It's not a big arc. I mean, there is an arc later, but they are their own.
- [37:36]
A
Nori immediately started talking with his hands. So that's how you know I'm a Stan.
- [37:41]
B
I'm a Love. Yeah. I be hearing black people like, I don't get it. Like, well, let me tell you something. I got your back. Here we go, bro.
- [37:48]
A
Listen, now that I got your back, you out here with your white press shirt on and your black pants, handing out the pamphlets. No, listen.
- [37:58]
B
Have you heard about Lovecraft Country, Brother? Have you heard about Lovecraft country, brother?
- [38:02]
A
Okay, but come on now. We can both say, okay, we gonna get into this hide and fry. Cause I swear to God, I'm not gonna have this episode. I just have to say one last thing. You can't tell me that the moment with Emmett Till on that show. This is not a Spoiler. Where they were doing the Ouija board. And he was like, am I gonna have a good summer? And the Ouija board was like, no, no. Come on now. That's trash.
- [38:26]
B
I mean, it's true. He was not gonna have a good summer. And the ghost told him. Sometimes you feel like, aren't there spirits out there that warn the brother? There's spirits out there that just don't warn us, and we don't listen. Listen. I'm with it. I get you, though. I get you. I understand how.
- [38:40]
A
I also feel like that's victim blaming. They were like, emmett, you know, you saw that Ouija board. They told you not to go down south.
- [38:46]
B
Oh, don't do him. Like, yeah, that's not.
- [38:49]
A
That's. That's how I felt. Y' all was gaslit Emmett Till from the grave.
- [38:55]
B
Damn.
- [38:56]
A
Who was Bertha? According to crew descriptions and newspapers of the day, Bertha was built like a tank. Oh. Not a brick house, but a tank. Okay. But what she lacked in society approved feminine wiles, she made up with incorrect charisma. She was born in Germany and made her way to the United states in the 1880s when she was about 35 years old. Damn. She was living to 35 in the 1880s. Wow.
- [39:19]
B
35. Let's go.
- [39:20]
A
She was living.
- [39:21]
B
Okay.
- [39:22]
A
Because I was.
- [39:22]
B
I know. She's German.
- [39:23]
A
She's German, right? Yeah.
- [39:25]
B
Okay.
- [39:27]
A
That's probably why she was so strong. So strong.
- [39:31]
B
Or German, white girl. Got it.
- [39:33]
A
I've always heard Bertha is like, a joke or whatever, which, like, at times can be fat phobic. So I've never been in love with that, but it's interesting to know.
- [39:41]
B
Not at all.
- [39:42]
A
It's definitely Fast Bertha. You know, like, that.
- [39:46]
B
That was like a joke back in the day. Like, I hear my uncles and, like, you know, like, oh, who that Big Bertha bitch. You know that type of insult? Yeah, yeah. It's toxic.
- [39:55]
A
So this is where this comes from is what I think is happening here. So Bertha, which I fucks with Bertha. I'm pretty sure I do. Pulled off an impressive number of scams over the course of her criminal career, most of which hewed a similar core premise. I love that you gotta stick to what you. Bertha would claim to be a fabulously wealthy woman who was having trouble assessing her abundant funds. Oh, yes, that's my favorite scam. And if a kind man would simply lend her a small cut of money. Not a cut of money. She would assess. She would access her estate and pay them back handsomely. This is like the Nigerian scam of like I inherited a million dollars. Just wire me taxes and fees. And I love it.
- [40:38]
B
That, that I got caught with too. That scam. I hate that.
- [40:41]
A
No, nor how.
- [40:43]
B
That's the classic Western Union scam.
- [40:45]
A
It is. I, I, I tell everyone on here,
- [40:49]
B
that's when I was buying, I was buying an engine for my car when I was street racing. And then y. I thought it was street racing. Yep, I was street racing back in the day. Yeah. Yep, I was street racing, mother. And that's, and this was like the Western Union scale, not the BQE Drift.
- [41:05]
A
Drift.
- [41:06]
B
Oh, yeah, the, the major Deacon drift. We talking Sawmill River Road, Sawmill River Parkway drift. Yes, we are, sis. Yes, we are.
- [41:18]
A
I'm leaving. I'm leaving right now. I'm getting my things. So, so think of it as a 19th century. 19th century. Kind of like advance fee email scam, which was know. So Bertha drift around, not drifted, see, drifted around New York, stealing watches and jewelry, forging checks and bonds, and making her way through the New York City. In 1888, she moved, right? That's what you got to do. You just got to move. Where they going?
- [41:47]
B
Classes.
- [41:49]
A
Talked about this earlier. You don't know my address. You ain't going to find me. In 1888, she moved to San Francisco with a man she said was her son, Willie Stanley. I feel like he's probably not her son.
- [42:02]
B
No, not at all.
- [42:04]
A
So the rabbi's brother. In February 1888, Bertha approached Rabbi A.J. messing, an acquaintance from her childhood, and explained that she had made a grave mistake of marrying a husband who was not Jewish and conveniently deceased. So she said, oh, I married somebody, and he was not a chosen one. They did not choose him. And also he dead. She says she left an enormous fortune. She said that he left her an enormous fortune. But now she wished to marry a man within her faith. Okay. And needed help finding a husband. She told the rabbi that she had inherited $300,000, which is like $6 million in today's money, from her husband, who was a Christian, one of them damn Christ followers. But she wanted her next marriage to be with someone from her original family faith.
- [42:54]
B
Damn. She plan. She planning. She planning the husbands with the money, right?
- [42:59]
A
She was like, next.
- [43:01]
B
And then he gonna have his money. Oh, Lord.
- [43:03]
A
So you a rabbi. Let me tell you how much I love Judaism, okay?
- [43:07]
B
Yeah, right.
- [43:08]
A
I love Judaism. I love Hanukkah with a H and with a C. Okay.
- [43:13]
B
And all the candles. The candles, I like them to be scented.
- [43:16]
A
Y' all sent them, cuz. I like them to be scented, you know? Eight days. You know she was lying. And Bertha offered $1,000 to the person who could find her a thoroughly acceptable Jewish husband. Fortunately, Abraham Grund, the rabbi's brother in law and wealthy businessman, was quite taken with Bertha. Now, Abraham, no. He proposed in a matter of days. Soon, Bertha had charmed her way to the top of the social class of Beth Israel, giving a check for $1,000 to the con. Hinting that much more coin was to come, she said, I am a rich bitch. Okay. I got diamonds.
- [44:01]
B
You heard about those? Yeah.
- [44:04]
A
And to those of you who got that song reference, you're cool. So she was the guest of honor at numerous soirees and managed to acquire extensive wardrobe, including jewelry and either gifts or stuff that was on credit before the diva. Diva, right. That's the thing. When you get rich, people just start giving you shit for free. They're like giving shit concert. We'll give you everything for free. I'm trying to get to that point. When I get some gifting sweets, I will be taking everything. You know what I do? I'm gonna bring people with me, and I'm gonna be like, take everything from me. And I'll be like, oh, my God.
- [44:38]
B
I'm like, take them bagels. Take something to drink for you. Take them snacks. Take that fruit. Let's go.
- [44:43]
A
I take the water.
- [44:44]
B
We're gonna be on. Take the water. All that.
- [44:47]
A
I've learned to take the water because I don't like to drink water. And I'm like, if there's water anywhere, I will take it. I would drink it. That's my rule for myself. But, yeah, so I. But I think I want to bring my family to gifting suites and be like, oh, my God. I'm sorry, guys. They're not used to anything. And then we get to the car. What y' all get for me? Y' all get what? Y' all get that PlayStation I wanted. All right, bitch.
- [45:05]
B
All y', all, pockets full.
- [45:07]
A
We loot together. That's what I want. So she's popping. Basically, all the girls love her. They think she has coins. They're giving her gifts. So before the two were wed, Bertha's alleged son, Willie. Remember, that's the son that she had brought with her that we thought was probably not her son. So ask Grun, who she's marrying for $500 because he was unhappy with the idea of their union. Grun obliged. Grun is Abraham. So Willie asked for many of Grun's jewels so that he could Redesign them in a modern way that Bertha would appreciate. Grun again, obliged. So her son is out here robbing her future husband. He's like, wow, let me borrow all your jewels. Cause I'm a. I'm a clean them.
- [45:52]
B
I'm a hooker.
- [45:52]
A
I'm a redesign.
- [45:53]
B
I'mma shine it. I'mma redesign it. I got a whole metal kit. So what, you gonna melt down my metal and redesign it?
- [45:59]
A
Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [46:03]
B
This what I do. I'm her son. This is how I hook shit up.
- [46:06]
A
Right? Yes. Yeah. So he's out here saying he gonna shine her jewels and clean the car and all this shit. Like, just stealing, stealing, and I love it. So grunt, family affairs. Abraham, he turned. So he basically gives all this stuff up, right? And then Bertha and Willie left and went to Los Angeles.
- [46:32]
B
Got him, got him, got him. Coach. He was reaching.
- [46:38]
A
They didn't even go through with the wedding. Like, I bet Abraham was a cool guy. He was probably cute. He probably not cute. He was doing too much.
- [46:45]
B
So he just. He just got. She just put some pussy on him. And then the son was like, I hope know you. You up. And he was like, I'll marry you. And she's like, I got him.
- [46:52]
A
And then, like, get him right?
- [46:55]
B
And bye. Bye.
- [46:57]
A
His. The son was like, look, let me shine all your money, too. Like, let me just. Let's go to the bank, get you all your money out. I'mma clean it.
- [47:06]
B
Like, literally, I'm gonna clean all your money, because you can't have it in there being dirty. You know what I'm saying? Like, it has its own life. It has its own.
- [47:13]
A
Nobody wants dusty dollars, honey. Okay, Let us get them clean for you. And then they took all the money and they fled. Oh, yeah, to where?
- [47:25]
B
Where they go this time?
- [47:26]
A
Los Angeles.
- [47:27]
B
This was in San. Los Angeles, but. And now it happened in San Francisco.
- [47:30]
A
Mm. So there was, like, a tearing up.
- [47:32]
B
They ripping and running the west Coast. They ripping the west Coast.
- [47:36]
A
So Abraham turned to detectives to plead his case. Before he'd finished the story, the captain opened the book of the captain of the police officer. Flip to photo number 122. And asked, is it this woman? And Abraham nodded in disbelief. Cause he was telling his story. And he was like, listen, I met a bad bitch named Bertha. She had a son named Willie.
- [47:59]
B
She put that thing on me. Yep.
- [48:00]
A
She put that thing on me very freely. I was gonna marry her in the synagogue. We was gonna have a party.
- [48:05]
B
She was wifey. Hell, yeah.
- [48:06]
A
We was gonna be on the Chairs. They was gonna put us up on the chairs, and we was gonna do the.
- [48:09]
B
My Jewish Queen.
- [48:11]
A
It was gonna be lit. And she had a son. Her son seemed very much like a grown man. But I was like, I had seven
- [48:18]
B
niggas that was gonna lift her up in the chair, too. Because I know she's kind of big, but I was gonna have my niggas, like, lift her up.
- [48:22]
A
It was gonna get. No, but she was gonna get lifted. Cause we don't get.
- [48:25]
B
She was gonna lift it.
- [48:25]
A
You know what I mean?
- [48:26]
B
Exactly. I got her, like, I had my homies. We were secure. We was ready.
- [48:31]
A
So her son was like, can I wash your jewels and can I sit in your car and can I take all the money out the bank and clean it? And I was like.
- [48:37]
B
I was like, whatever. Yeah, there's nothing to it. I mean, I guess so. I wanna be a family man. I wanna be a husband to my wife.
- [48:43]
A
I know this never happened to anybody. It's a very unique situation. And the cops was like, this you? Yeah, not the cops with the. This you? Not that quick. Oh, Bertha was out here.
- [48:55]
B
I think this is you, right?
- [48:57]
A
Yeah.
- [48:57]
B
Cause this. Back in the day, they had wanted signs on the wall. Like, wanted, right? 18, what, 18, 70.
- [49:03]
A
They were like, you ain't see this sign? They got one on every block.
- [49:06]
B
And if she's Bertha, you know, then there's nobody else that. I probably don't even look like her.
- [49:12]
A
So, yeah, she didn't really change her name. Name exactly.
- [49:15]
B
She just kept going, scamming Bera. Did you Bera?
- [49:19]
A
You Bera?
- [49:20]
B
Yeah.
- [49:20]
A
I was going, what if Bera is the reason that everybody became fat phobic? Like, what if everybody was just mad that a bad named Bera pulled up and they were like, no, we hate them now.
- [49:34]
B
Oh, God, of course. That's why insults come from. They come from a form of hate.
- [49:38]
A
Of like, they come from a. But from a hurt.
- [49:42]
B
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it came from hurt. So somebody was just like that, man, I love that girl. You know, especially men. You know, our egos get hurt or we get hurt, then. Then we start going for the flaws as some. As some little boy. So it's just like, yeah, you fat bitch, you. And just like, don't be mad that my Big is not at all. It's not at all. Don't be mad I put that big pussy on you and you fell for it. That ain't my fault.
- [50:05]
A
Right? Cause you love the pussy. Don't be trying to fat Sh. Don't come after me. Nah, see, I with Bera. I think that's where a lot of this came from. Cuz. Bera was out here turning y' all out.
- [50:17]
B
Yeah, she was. She turned all her. You ain't never had no German big like this.
- [50:25]
A
Bera was the first city girl, and I love it. She said all the want to J.T. they do.
- [50:30]
B
Yes, sir.
- [50:31]
A
Yes, Bera. So. So
- [50:37]
B
she pulled a bottle. Yeah. Bertha's mvp. Yo, she gets that.
- [50:43]
A
She's envy motherfucking P. I love her. I stan her. I need a poster.
- [50:48]
B
She probably scammed her. She probably scammed her funeral. Probably like the last husband paid for it and buried, right?
- [50:53]
A
Bertha probably still lied.
- [50:55]
B
And this time, her name was probably, like, lanitha or something. She changed.
- [50:59]
A
I feel like she just flexed and just kept calling herself Bertha. Cause I don't really feel like she even tr. So she said, the finesse is so easy. I don't even have to lie to the girls. So Bertha called at the end. Abraham was like, you were scammed. Like the first solicitor letter.
- [51:15]
B
She was like, yeah, back in 1813, it was a letter. Dear whoever does read this, watch out for Bertha. You were scammed by her sign, Bertha.
- [51:28]
A
And then she put some wax on
- [51:29]
B
it with a bean.
- [51:31]
A
Wax?
- [51:31]
B
Yeah.
- [51:32]
A
The B is for bad. Yes. So the police were like this, you. And then it was a book of. So this book that they opened was a book of Professional Criminals in America by Thomas F. Burns. So this is a book. This ain't even the police just having information. Somebody wrote a book on this girl and on a lot of social media
- [51:52]
B
back then, like, just had to take notes. It was probably like a collection of essays of all the. All the dudes that she forgot. Nest.
- [51:58]
A
I wish news traveled that slow. If news traveled that slow, we would be having a lot more fun. Because, like, you be. You be having, like, a good two minutes on Twitter with something before you're like, well, like, True Kitchen, I don't know. It's gonna drop, but True Kitchen, this man. This black man.
- [52:15]
B
Okay, here we go.
- [52:16]
A
He cussed out his patrons at the restaurant.
- [52:20]
B
He cussed, okay?
- [52:22]
A
And specifically was coming for black women. Do you know what I'm talking about?
- [52:24]
B
About the what? This vid. No, I didn't see this video.
- [52:28]
A
Oh, you got to. Okay, look up True Kitchen on Twitter after this. He cussed out his patrons because he was playing trap music, had a dj. It's brunch. And he had a two hour wait for his food. And so he's just Getting everybody liquored up, and they. They ain't got no food. So one of the girls then got up on the couch and start throwing that ass in the circle, as per the. The song said, throw that ass in the circle. And she merely obliged. And he was like, y' all need to stop twerking. And they should have listened. But they're also drunk and don't have any food. And there's a DJ playing the trap hits. Like, wait, what do you want me to do when he
- [53:08]
B
is a Waffle House? What is it?
- [53:10]
A
True kitchen. It's a true kitchen.
- [53:12]
B
Okay. Yeah.
- [53:13]
A
It's a brand of, like, true kitchen.
- [53:15]
B
Okay. Yeah. Brand new restaurant. Yeah. Okay.
- [53:18]
A
They have it in Houston. They have it in Atlanta. They have it in Dallas. This is the one in Dallas. Shout out to Dallas, my home city. So she throwing that ass in a circle, and he got mad, and then he proceeded to cuss out the whole restaurant. And he was like, I'm trying to make an establishment where black folks can feel comfortable. And this is what y' all do. We was kings.
- [53:39]
B
Well, where's the food, nigga? Yeah, we are kings. We just modern kings. Oh, man, that's what we hungry kings. Yeah, we. We just having a good time, Uncle. Until you Grandpa. Until you make the food, we chill out.
- [53:52]
A
He said, this a fine dining establishment. And she's like, why you serving frozen drinks in old Doucet bottles?
- [53:59]
B
Yeah, right. Oh, hilarious.
- [54:01]
A
Anyway, this is a departure. This departure is my fault. So we're gonna get back to getting caught. So eventually, detectives traced the pair to Texas and arrested them. This is Bertha and her son. In heavy, heavy air quotes.
- [54:16]
B
Willie, this is. Back in the day, you had a feather on you write. And it would be sent into a pigeon, and the pigeon would be like, yo, cops was like, we know who we gonna get, right?
- [54:27]
A
So while she was in jail, she was bailed out by an impresario, a producer of operas and plays. He saw an opportunity and launched Bertha into a theatrical career after bailing her out of jail. So this whole time, she's a scammer. The bitch has been putting on plays in everybody's living room. She's giving you lies. She's giving you acting, okay? That's what acting is.
- [54:48]
B
She's giving you marriage. She's giving you hope, all of it. She put on Kevin o' Kidman wigs, scanner.
- [54:57]
A
The category is robbery. Who's walking robbery tonight? Bertha walking robbery tonight. And she gave us gaps and wigs. Okay? Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman, move over. I need that red wig for me Over.
- [55:12]
B
Yes.
- [55:12]
A
So this impresario realized he had a star on his hands, and he bailed her out of jail. He said, let's get you to the theatre. Later in the trial, the judge acquitted Bertha. Bertha. But found Willie guilty. No, Bertha. Why you throw Willie under the bus like that? Aw.
- [55:27]
B
Her son, right? Was really his son.
- [55:30]
A
Yeah, that was her son.
- [55:33]
B
I mean, well, he literally was stealing, though.
- [55:35]
A
Yeah, but she told him to do that shit. She told him to do that.
- [55:38]
B
But, you know, hey, you know. Yep.
- [55:40]
A
But this is also back in the day, you know, women didn't really have a lot of rights. So for all we know, Willie was not sharing the jewels or the money.
- [55:47]
B
He. Right, let's build his narrative. Willie was being toxic. He was probably hitting her or some. He got abusive. That had to go.
- [55:54]
A
Yeah, Willie's a bad guy. We've decided he's a bad guy.
- [55:57]
B
He's bad. He had to go.
- [55:58]
A
On no evidence. On no evidence. Willie is a bad guy.
- [56:02]
B
Just his vibe in this story.
- [56:03]
A
That right? Your vibe is not good. We don't like your vibes, Willie. So. So as her story spread across San Francisco, Bera performed a one woman show in which she recreated her scandals in an opera, posing with flesh colored tights. Ooh, flesh colored tights. That's hoochie for the time. Ooh, she got the flesh out, not the flash.
- [56:28]
B
She straight with Hamilton on these niggas. All right.
- [56:31]
A
I love it. So she also played scenes from Romeo and Juliet with an actor named Offdy. Okay. Offy Gofty. That was his name.
- [56:39]
B
All right.
- [56:40]
A
Who had made a name as a human punching bag. Okay. So the show was a hit. And. And a hit, not a pun. As soon as she went on tour, like across the west coast, she started frequently engaging in wrestling bouts with any man who dared to try her. And generally, she would knock them out.
- [57:06]
B
Now, well, I mean, her name Bera, and she from Germany. Yeah.
- [57:10]
A
One day, Bertha confided in her manager that her suitcase had a false bottom containing $10,000 in Canadian bonds and thousands of dollars in jewelry. She asked him to handle the sale for her while they negotiated. Over the next few days, Bertha borrowed a small sum of money from him. He agreed to pay her $1,600 for the trunk. But before doing so, he snuck into her room and discovered the false bottom was fake.
- [57:35]
B
The MO.
- [57:37]
A
And this is a quote from Bertha. The moment I discover a man's a fool, I let him drop. But I delight in getting into the confidence and pockets of men who think they can't be skinned. It ministers to my intellectual pride.
- [57:54]
B
Wow. Turns her on. She loves it. It's the proverb. The thrill of it all.
- [57:59]
A
The thrill of it all. Oh, Bertha.
- [58:02]
B
Oh, Bertha. So what a romantic scammer. Poetic.
- [58:06]
A
I love her.
- [58:08]
B
Yeah.
- [58:08]
A
All right, guys, we're gonna take a quick break, and we'll be right back for the end of the show. Robbery and fraud. And we're back. And this is the saddest part of the show, because this is where I'm gonna have to let Nori go.
- [58:24]
B
But it was great. It was great being here.
- [58:27]
A
It was really great. But before I do scammer of the week, we're just gonna highlight one charlatan that we really believe is worthy of our praise. The scammer of the week this week is actually more of a. An idea. It's called the Secret Sister Exchange Club. This scam happens nearly every holiday season. So Robin season, y'. All. Y' all know the holidays are when people start robbing.
- [58:53]
B
Don't be thirsty for that PS5.
- [58:55]
A
Wait, my friends are just getting scammed. I know so many people on StockX who are like, fuck it. I'm just gonna buy the one that's marked up. I don't care.
- [59:04]
B
Oh, I'm such a StockX nigger when it comes to sneakers. I'm like. I'm like royalty. Like, how much does it cost? Okay, Put the bid in. It's fine. I have no time for these retails and these prices. It's whatever.
- [59:18]
A
The wave of the hand.
- [59:21]
B
It's whatever. Yes, StockX. I'll put. Pay it. What, $800? Not a problem. Put.
- [59:25]
A
Queen Elizabeth.
- [59:27]
B
Yes. What is the tracking number Sense?
- [59:30]
A
Thank you. StockX, you say? And that's better. That's better.
- [59:35]
B
It's not a promotion for StockX. They're still trash.
- [59:39]
A
Honestly. It's the bots. If you ever want to get something for real, like, you got to buy a bot. It's like $50. You got to buy a bot because you're not going to get it. Other than otherwise, the Internet's an unfair place. Listen, you know how fucking hard I had to work for Ivy Park? Beyonce said, I don't want you to have my clothes. Even with your money. Your American dollars. Ghetto.
- [60:01]
B
Don't worry. Despite that, that's. I'm working on my career, too, where it'll get us to this point where they. They just send it to us.
- [60:08]
A
So let's just claim it. Because I'm like, one day, Beyonce will send me a box and listen, I
- [60:12]
B
will do the most.
- [60:13]
A
I will make a music video. I will wear all the clothes every day.
- [60:18]
B
I love it. I love it.
- [60:19]
A
So the scam happens around the holidays. The Better Business Bureau has warned people that the 2020 holiday season is expected to bring more scams than usual. Which is absolutely true. There's just been. You know, scams are all about innovation. You know what I mean? It's just like Silicon Valley. They change with the times. They evolve with what's happening. And right now, coronavirus. Like, the girls were like, oh, time for robbery. Let me put on my gowns. They are out here. So you just. Guys, be vigilant.
- [60:48]
B
Yeah.
- [60:48]
A
So people began posting about a secret sister gift exchange campaign. Promising participants will receive up to 36 gifts in exchange for sending one gift. Yes. That's a pyramid scheme.
- [61:00]
B
You heard it right. Huge scam. Wow. Yeah. Each year, it's too good to be true in the beginning. And when that last sentence comes, all you gotta do is this. That's the fucking scam.
- [61:12]
A
That's how, you know, like, people just start money to your iPhone. All you. You gotta do like that. All you gotta do.
- [61:20]
B
That's right.
- [61:22]
A
When you hear all you gotta do, just hang up four free iPhones.
- [61:26]
B
All you gotta do is send $5.
- [61:29]
A
That's it. All you gotta do. And it brings 60 of your closest friends. But that's all you gotta do.
- [61:36]
B
That's all you gotta do is nothing. Right?
- [61:38]
A
So y' all be. Be careful. So each year, a different version of the scam pops up. And that's the thing. Pyramid schemes are as old as Methuselah, but they just keep rebr this shit and get, you know, giving the girl a new dress and a new hairstyle, and y' all be falling for it. So you have to be careful. And I say y', all, but also me. Like, I love a good pyramid scheme. If I get in on in the beginning. So if I'm the one saying all you got to do to people.
- [62:08]
B
Yeah, right.
- [62:10]
A
So the scams usually are targeted towards women saying something like this. The secret sister gift exchange is back. I'm looking for six women who would be interested in a pre holiday gift exchange. You only have to buy one $10 gift and send it to your secret sister. Damn. Sound like nexium. You will then receive six to 36 gifts in return. Let me know if you're interested, and I will send you information for your secret sister. We could all use some happy mail. I feel like this is gonna hit harder during coronavirus. Cuz, like, honestly, happy mail. Like, I'm so. I live alone. I'm lonely. Like, I will take some secret sister gifts.
- [62:47]
B
Oh, well, make sure it's. It's from sisters that you know. And it ain't with this. It ain't that scam.
- [62:54]
A
I need some sister gifts. Not some sister gifts.
- [62:58]
B
Gifts.
- [62:59]
A
So the U.S. postal Inspection Service explains that these gift exchanges are considering a form of gambling. Wow. Gambling, they say. But everybody's supposed to spend some dollars, but they probably not or they going to Walgreens. You know them body wash sets that they sell in Walgreens that they always try to be like stocking stuffers that everybody hates.
- [63:18]
B
Mm. Yeah.
- [63:19]
A
Don't. Don't buy that's.
- [63:19]
B
Like that hotel. That hotel shit. Don't buy that. Ain't nobody doing. They. They already have their own. Yeah, don't buy that.
- [63:25]
A
Don't do it. So the next time someone promises a bounty of gifts or cash by mail, email, or social media, the Better Business Bureau recommends. Ignore it. Yes, they said. Bryson Tiller.
- [63:40]
B
Don't, don't, don't, don't go for the scammer sister. Right.
- [63:47]
A
Just be honest with your. We did a great job with that. You loved it.
- [63:53]
B
Yeah.
- [63:53]
A
So report social media posts, guys. So protect others by stopping the post immediately. Y' all know I'm not a Karen, but sometimes it's okay to throw on your spiky wig with the bang, swoop to the right and report the girls. It's okay. Report the girls and then never give your personal information to strangers. This will open your identity theft up for scams. And we've talked about this. So y', all, if y' all see the sister secret Exchange Club. Club. Don't do it. I don't know what they gonna call it this year. It's probably gonna be like Corona Cousins Exchange Club.
- [64:27]
B
Oh, man. Black lives matter. Come together, brothers and sisters. Exchange rate. Some it's going. They gonna try to get up on the uprising. They gonna try to get up on the come together and let's glorify. And Biden's winning the gift of vote. That's gonna be that.
- [64:47]
A
The gift of the vote. Y' all know who y' all need to do, though. Trump supporters. I'm telling y' all when. When we're talking about a retail section, a market that loves to purchase. They love to purchase. They got Trump earrings, necklaces, shirts, socks, shoes. Panty draws. Trump in the pussy. Trump everywhere. I wish I could sell Trump merch, because I would give some cute phrases and Some cute like garb. I would, but I can't step to the dark side. But. But maybe y' all make something like maga Mommy's gift exchange and y' all Robbies scam them. That's right.
- [65:23]
B
That's it. Buy one. I want Trump to win. All you gotta do is send $50 and bring your other magnet hats. You get a free I love Trump and he should win hat. I know that's a lot of type, but it's gonna fit in the hat
- [65:38]
A
and he's gonna win, right? I love Trump. He should win.
- [65:42]
B
Or maybe like a voting ballot. Or maybe. Yeah, maybe like a Magnum ballot. If you buy this ballot, this is going to help your ballot get more votes than Biden. All you gotta do is send $50.
- [65:53]
A
Listen, the election ain't over. I know we voted on over. I know we voted a month ago, but listen, the election ain't over.
- [66:01]
B
Fake news. Fake news. Mac, he can still win if all you gotta do is send $50 so we can submit your page ballot.
- [66:11]
A
I'm just trying to. I was trying to get my podcast to the status of fake news so that Trump will recommend it to people. He was like, watch Newsmax. He's like, the is Newsmax. Oh, God. All right, guys, we've reached the end. Y' all got a little treat. This is a little bit of a longer episode. Y' all know A is tired, so, you know, there you go. No, Maury, you're wonderful. Like, I'm just saying that. Genuinely. I know.
- [66:40]
B
We're recording.
- [66:42]
A
Jesus, what a delight. Oh, thank you, man. Where can. Where. This is what we asked. Where do you want to be found?
- [66:50]
B
Oh, you can find me on Instagram at Norey Davis. N O R E D A V I S and that's it. Nori Davis. And also every Sunday, I'm going to be doing some zoom shows and social distancing shows inside so people. People can sign up on the link and watch the show. It's called. It's a vibe. And I'll be performing in the studio. That's social distance. So they can pull up on that. The first show is December 6th, and every Sunday after that. So.
- [67:17]
A
Hell, yeah.
- [67:18]
B
And that link is in my bio.
- [67:20]
A
It's in your bios. Drop the Instagram one more time for the girls so they can.
- [67:23]
B
Nori Davis at Nor Davis at Nor Davis.
- [67:26]
A
Very simple. N O R E D A V I S. Guys, he's so money. Pull the up. Oh, my God, you guys. As always, if you want to snitch on your friends and family. Scamgottispod gmail.com if you want to snitch on yourself like our black queen did today. Who that we named Franco. Love you, sis. Sorry that happened to you.
- [67:47]
B
It's gonna be all right.
- [67:47]
A
Love you, Franco. You sound like you got enough coin. You gonna be all right.
- [67:53]
B
And if you wanna say me and my husband.
- [67:55]
A
Yeah, right. Husband, honey. So he got another bank account. Y' all good?
- [67:59]
B
All right.
- [68:00]
A
If you want to find me, it's D I V A L A C I Divalacy on all platforms for my shenanigans. And I know y' all gonna tag me on Twitter and talk shit to me. And as always, Scam got his pod. On all platforms. Yeah. I will take the abuse. I love you guys. Congregation, Stay scheming, Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess is starring me.
- [68:27]
B
Duh.
- [68:28]
A
Scam Goddess, AKA Lacy Mosley. Scam Goddess is produced by Chelsea Jacobson and engineered by Marina Baiz with research by Sherlyn Vera. Stay scheming.