Con-Fessions: A Cluster of Cons

Summary

Scam Goddess – "Con-Fessions: A Cluster of Cons"

Date: April 29, 2021
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Priscilla Davies
Format: Listener letter-driven bonus episode

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Episode Overview

This bonus episode of Scam Goddess is a “Con-Fessions” installment, where host Laci Mosley and guest co-host Priscilla Davies read and riff on scam stories submitted by listeners. The episode leans into the podcast’s comedic tone while spotlighting a range of everyday grifts—some petty, some wholesome, many oddly relatable. Laci and Priscilla weave in cultural commentary about capitalism, poverty, and the ethics of scamming, all with irreverent humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Drug Test” Grift

[00:20–09:14]

• Listener Scam Recap:

  • "Mackenzie" shares a story about an unhoused woman who befriends employees on smoke breaks and asks for cash ($43) under the premise of needing to pay for a drug test for a new job.
  • Over time, the woman extracts money for the same reason from at least seven separate employees in the same block.
  • Laci and Priscilla recognize it as an ingenious "panhandling with a narrative" scam.

• Discussion Highlights:

  • Humorous breakdown of the "smoke break scam" (workers using smoke breaks as informal, unpoliced breaks).
  • Laci and Priscilla reflect on workplace inequity: “The good old smoke break is not a scam, but it is a scam. I always respected that smokers... always take that fucking break. The rest of us will work through that shit.” — Priscilla [01:50]
  • Empathy toward the scammer, questioning social attitudes toward giving money to unhoused people.
  • “If they came up and asked for it, even if it’s not for what they said... What do you care what they use it for? It’s none of your business. Just give them the money and move on.” — Laci [08:24]
  • Commentary on the "poor tax"—how poverty often leads to paying more for life's necessities.

• Notable Quote:

  • “I wouldn’t feel bad about getting scammed by someone who is unhoused, for $43 – just take it.” — Priscilla [08:17]

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2. Patriarchy-Scamming Siblings

[11:12–14:38]

• Listener Scam Recap:

  • "Lana" recounts how, due to her father’s sexist favoritism, her brother would intentionally take double the gifts and share them with their disowned older sister so she wouldn’t miss out.

• Discussion Highlights:

  • Heartfelt appreciation for "scamming the patriarchy."
  • “This is a feel-good scam because you’re scamming your dad, you’re scamming the patriarchy!” — Laci [13:17]
  • Light discussion on family structures, "love children," and Laci shares her own story about having two dads.

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3. Petty Cash & Airline Miles at the Ad Agency

[14:56–20:43]

• Listener Scam Recap:

  • "Color with a K" details two workplace scams:
    1. Skimming from the agency’s perpetually unbalanced petty cash jar (“No one seemed to care – opportunity!”).
    2. Hijacking thousands of forgotten Delta airline miles tied to the company, changing the email, and flying friends/family for free.

• Discussion Highlights:

  • Zero guilt about scamming “advertising agencies”—seen as inherently scammy with heaps of money to burn.
  • Laci advises listeners to use “junk” email addresses for store rewards to dodge advertising.
  • Jokes about Hotmail/Yahoo addresses being “for crime.”
  • “You and your girls, in Economy Plus sipping on some bottled chardonnay. That’s good for y’all!” — Laci [20:26]

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Advertising is a huge scam.” — Priscilla [16:33]
  • “This is a great scam. Who are you hurting?” — Laci [18:11]

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4. The Job Application / Cashier’s Check/BTC Scam

[21:11–30:59]

• Listener Scam Recap:

  • "Gladys" (actually a "gentleman of the Caucasian persuasion") describes applying for a job that turns out to be a classic fake-out: gets a fake cashier’s check, is told to deposit it, and “donate half in bitcoin to an orphanage.”
  • Gladys, clever to the scheme, strings the scammers along with made-up bank stories and photoshopped bitcoin receipts, collecting fake checks as trophies.

• Discussion Highlights:

  • Mocking the absurdity of “donating to an orphanage in bitcoin,” and the general escalation of the scam’s weirdness.
  • Laci and Priscilla applaud Gladys for “scamming the scammers back” and wasting their time.
  • Serious callback to how scammers often prey on the vulnerable, especially jobseekers during the pandemic.
  • “These people don’t have extra coins lying around for you to be robbing them when they’re looking for employment opportunities.” — Laci [30:42]
  • Two thumbs down for scams that target the financially desperate.

• Memorable Moment:

  • “You don’t want a check in your account that’s swag surfing – no swag surfing checks!” — Laci [28:57]

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Broader Themes & Cultural Commentary

• Who “deserves” to get scammed? Ethical scamming vs. predatory practices.
• Capitalist critique: Systematic issues with workplace “smoke break equity,” the “poor tax,” and resentment at how luxury/relief is withheld from the poor.
• Comedic tone: Throughout, Laci and Priscilla keep the tone upbeat, self-aware, and welcoming of “gray morality,” especially when targeting “the man.”
• Empowerment through pettiness: Several stories frame low-level scamming as a form of resistance against unfair systems, demanding context and nuance.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The good old smoke break is not a scam, but it is a scam.” — Priscilla [01:50]
• “If they came up and asked for it, even if it’s not for what they said... What do you care what they use it for?” — Laci [08:24]
• “This is a feel-good scam because you’re scamming the patriarchy!” — Laci [13:17]
• “Advertising is a huge scam.” — Priscilla [16:33]
• “You don’t want a check in your account that’s swag surfing – no swag surfing checks!” — Laci [28:57]
• “Two thumbs down.” — Laci, on predatory job scams [31:07]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:20 — Intro, letter from “Mackenzie” (drug test scam)
• 04:16 — Discussion of real job drug test practices
• 09:14 — Broader discussion of how society treats poor/unhoused people
• 11:12 — “Feel-Good Scam”: Sibling solidarity against patriarchal dad
• 14:56 — “Color with a K” and petty cash + airline miles at the ad agency
• 21:11 — “Gladys”: Job scam, cashier’s checks, scamming the scammers back
• 28:57 — Laci’s “swag surfing checks” riff
• 30:42 — Why certain scams are unethical (preying on job seekers)
• 31:07 — “Two thumbs down” conclusion

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Tone & Style

Warm, conversational, witty, and unflinchingly honest. The hosts are quick to find humor in bleakness, and always invite listeners to see the ridiculous side of fraud—provided nobody truly vulnerable is getting hurt.

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Final Thoughts

This episode offers a lively tour through petty scams, workplace hacks, and a few poetic justice moments, all punctuated by Laci Mosley and Priscilla Davies’ infectious chemistry. Listeners are encouraged to find some moral flexibility—so long as the only people getting got are those who can afford it.

Listener takeaway: Stay alert, stay laughing, and above all, stay schemin’.

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Transcript

[A]

What's poppin, congregation? Hello, and welcome to another episode of Confessions here on Stitcher Premium. Hey, bonus episodes. It's me, scam goddess, AKA Lacey Mosley.

[B]

And it is me as well, Priscilla Davies.

[A]

We are both me.

[B]

Fuck you, dude. Yes, we are. It's so with me's around here, as always.

[A]

This is why I keep saying as always. I'm so trifling. I'll be saying everything over and over again. Are y' all tired yet? All right, guys, this is our bonus episodes where we read your listener letters here on the air. As always, if you'd like to turn in your friends, family, snitch on whoever you like, including yourself. Scam Got his pot. Gmail dot com. Just make sure your scam is retired because we don't want to. What? Yes. Up your bag. All right, guys. Another mixed bag episode we got today. We're just having fun. We're getting loose. Getting loose. Give me a name for this person.

[B]

I don't know. Like what? Like Mackenzie.

[A]

Mackenzie, yeah. Also, you should know we don't give a about gender.

[B]

So Mackenzie's gender neutral.

[A]

Yeah, all of these are. I've never met a man named Mackenzie.

[B]

It is. There's a few of them. Very few.

[A]

One of them sounds plausible. Yeah, there are. There are a few of them. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

[B]

In the whole entire world. A few.

[A]

So Mackenzie says, hey, what's up? Hello. I read that immediately. Like Fetty Wap. Long time listener, first time writer. Save all the nice things I have to say at the end. Oh, you're very sweet. Okay, so it says, mackenzie says, back when I was in my early 20s, I worked for a coffee shop downtown in a medium sized Midwestern city. On my breaks, I'd usually go outside to chain smoke, talk to other employees on their smoke breaks. You know, the usual. Kill 15 minutes and not have to think about how many pumps of chai I actually put in the latte that the lady complained about.

[B]

Let me just say this much. The good old smoke break is one of the most. It's not a scam, but it is a scam. I've always. I always respected. I noticed that smokers, no matter what, they always take that fucking break. You know what I mean? The rest of us will work through that shit, but a smoker, I respect that. Take your 15 minutes exactly and see,

[A]

we don't even have that anymore. Like, everyone should just pretend that they smoke and be like, I need my smoke break.

[B]

I mean, technically you don't have to. Technically, a lot of jobs you are entitled to, like your 15 minute break. But, you know, especially when I was in the service industry, like I wasn't gonna, you know, up my bag to go sit outside for 15 minutes for no reason, you know.

[A]

Yeah, you can. I was like, you can't take no 15 minute break.

[B]

When you serve all the smokers, would they be like, yo, can you cover my table, Priscilla? I gotta, I'm gonna go smoke. And I'd be like, damn, that's a good fucking scam you got going there. Here, take your tip that I worked for, right?

[A]

Because I have to go. I have to. Okay, Right, So. Okay, so normally some of the out. Some of our unhoused friends would show up and ask for a cigarette and chat with us and then their business. One day this new lady showed up, asked for a cigarette and bounced, then came back every few days for the following weeks, maybe for two months total. Over time, I got to know her and her kid who would sometimes come around with her. She said she got a job through the Department of Job and Family Services, but needed money for a drug test. She explained that this wasn't a normal work assignment for her to earn cash assistance through the community, but a real opportunity to be hired on a full time job and get back on her feet, you know, was titillating. The only problem was that she needed $43 for a drug test. As a tipped employee, I always had some spending cash on me. So the time I saw her, I asked if she still had a chance to get a job. She said yes. I told her I'd help with the drug test and forked over the bills. A few days later, she hadn't been around, so I said something in passing to another worker from a restaurant nearby me. It's weird that we haven't seen that lady with the kid. I hope she's okay. Other worker, I haven't seen her either. She said she was getting ready to get hired for a job. Me? Yeah, I gave her 43 for a drug test. For that. I hope she got it. The other employee's eyes widen. You gave her money? So and so from my store. Gave her money for that too. After some chatting around, she had successfully gotten seven different people working different shifts to pay for her drug test from our little block of stores. Needless to say, I don't think there was a drug test. Yeah, you think companies, you think companies. Don't be like, hey, we need a drug test and we need you to pay for it. You know what Are you sure about that? Because I feel like I've never had that happen to me.

[B]

I've never taken a drug test for a job, so I have. Well, yes, but they. And they didn't charge you, right? Yeah, actually, you're right. It should be covered. But I feel like some scammer ass companies will be like, yeah, it's $25 for you. Yeah.

[A]

And some of them are shady as fuck. I definitely took a drug test once. That was in the office of the company that I was going to work for. It was a hotel.

[B]

And they made you pee on a stick in front of them, right.

[A]

It was a mouth swab. And I was like, this ain't. And I had been smoking weed and that was in Pittsburgh when weed wasn't legal. I don't think it is still. And I was worried about that. I've been trying to flush my system. I got some niacin to let my body overheat. Oh, my body was burning on that niacin. I was like, must sweat out ganja. And they swapped my mouth. And I'm pretty sure it was more of an intimidation mechanism than actually sending it to a fucking lab because that's

[B]

not accurate mental warfare.

[A]

Right? So they probably. She probably wouldn't come in here if she was on crack. Although one time I did have a cater waiter job.

[B]

Was that the conversation in the office? Yeah. She wouldn't come here if she was.

[A]

Not crack.

[B]

Not on crack, right? No. Right. She'd look, she's on crack, right?

[A]

No. Okay, yeah, hire her.

[B]

No, it's cool.

[A]

No, it's fine. She's not a crack. I will say one time I took an interview at a temp agency where you were like, oh, we love you. Okay, can you just go into this room? And there were some computers that are like. Just answer the questions on the screen. So I answered the questions and when I tell you I've never been asked about my meth usage so much in my life. Oh my God. They were like so on average, how many times a day would you say you use myth?

[B]

And I was like trying to make it all cash about it. Like, we're all friends here, part one. We're all friends here. 1A. So. And I'm super, totally cool as well. 1B.

[A]

So 1C. I love meth. I love meth. I think it's totally fine.

[B]

I'm so non judgmental.

[A]

I swear I'm a cool job. I'm not like regular jobs.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm a cool job. And all we need to Know is like, how often would you say, like 1 to 4, 4 to 7? Like, are you a mild meth user? Like. But it kept asking. There were more questions that were like, have you ever been able to. Not been able to show up to work because of your meth usage? And also they just assumed I did meth. It wasn't like, oh, have you ever done so much meth that you couldn't come to work? It's just like, you know, so based on your own meth usage. Because you definitely do meth, right? Everyone does meth here. It's totally fine. Just say yes.

[B]

What job was this for?

[A]

It was for a temp agency to just do like temp work or cater waitering. And apparently everyone who does temp work is on. On meth. Because there were so many questions and I was like. And it felt like, like you were saying they were trying to befriend me and break me down. Because there were some meth questions at the end of the survey. They were like, okay, so we know you say you didn't do meth earlier in the survey, but, like, for real, for real.

[B]

This is the for real, for real section.

[A]

Have you ever tried it? Have you ever tried it? Have you ever tasted meth? Have you ever seen meth and then put it in a crack pipe and smoked it?

[B]

Have you?

[A]

It's totally fine if you have.

[B]

No biggie.

[A]

Yeah. So guys, I don't personally think that most places are charging. And then also she's on house. She got this through the Department of Labor. Most of the time they know the financial situation that people are in. They would definitely not request you to pay $43 for your own drugs.

[B]

Ironically, I feel like it would be the unhoused people they would do that to.

[A]

That's true. Because the poor tax is high. The less money you have, the more money you fucking pay.

[B]

Yeah, for real, for real. So. But clearly this was bigger than that, right? Seven times bigger than that.

[A]

This is just a charming lady who hangs out with people on their smoke breaks. And I feel like she did have a kid. Like, I needed that money.

[B]

Listen, she you the way based on this, it seems like she was a chill bitch. She didn't give nobody no problems. She entertained you on your break. Someone to kiki with on your break.

[A]

And you know what?

[B]

You just paid for her time.

[A]

Exactly. I mean, I see nothing wrong with this.

[B]

Yeah, I wouldn't feel bad about getting scammed by someone who is unhoused, like, for $43, like, take it.

[A]

Right? And if they need that money, like, if they came up to you and asked for it, even if it's not for what they said. That's why I hate when people are like, oh, I don't give to panhandlers, because they're just gonna use it on drugs. What the. Do you care if they. What they fucking use it for? It's none of your business. Just give them the money and move on. I'm never gonna give money to somebody and then pull up next week and be like, so would you use that $5 for. Okay, let me see the receipt. Like, it's above me now. I mean, you know, how many.

[B]

Like, how much drugs I bought off of birthday money and shit? You know what I mean? Like, you don't. You're not in control of who you. What the people do with your money.

[A]

And also, it's a bit sadistic, like, for you to try to. You. You say you want to help people, but then you want to control them. It's like that weird God complex that we have over people who have less money or resources of, like, oh, well, they better use it the right way,

[B]

because we know the right way to

[A]

use it, because we know the right way for these people to enrich their own lives or to help their own lives. We don't.

[B]

Okay. You know, I saw there was this like. Like, it was like a Fox News meme of, like, different. Like, Fox News moments, like, in one big meme. And it was like, oh, people. 50. You know, 50% of people say that they're poor, but, you know, 48% of them have a refrigerator. Okay? 27% of them have a microwave. As if, like, you having a microwave somehow cancels out you being broke or you having a refrigerant. Like, like, oh, 28% of them have coffee makers. Oh, God forbid someone broke drink some coffee, right?

[A]

You know, not like, they need lots of energy for all the jobs they have to maintain a roof over their head.

[B]

And it's not like you tell them that they should save their coffee money from Starbucks and make their own. Cause that's not something you said before either. Like, exactly. They are doing that. Okay, Basically, just say you hate poor people and go and go like, it's

[A]

so disgusting to me and so weird. I worked really hard for my money. Okay, but what situation were you born in? How did you get to where you are? You had help. We all have help. Whether we're rich or poor. We all need help, and we all need to stop being weird and gross about it. Also, Something weird and gross about poor people not deserving luxury items or vacations. It's like, so I'm poor now. I gotta just live in my poor, sad shanty and have no joy?

[B]

Well, you know, this capitalism, joy is

[A]

for rich people, literally.

[B]

And then they turn around and tell you, but, you know, money won't make you happy. It's this fucking capitalist society. It's all the mixed fucking messages that ultimately all lead to one thing, which is the 1% making more and more money and the rest of us struggling.

[A]

You're just being gaslit, okay?

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Don't. Don't allow it to happen to you. Okay, guys, let's keep it going. Let's keep the good times going. Because that's what we're having here, right? Yes.

[B]

I'm having a great time.

[A]

This next game is titled A Feel Good Scam. Oh, we need.

[B]

This is perfect.

[A]

Let's see if it is. Because sometimes we get a Feel Good scam, and it's not feel good.

[B]

It's like murder involved. Like, we don't.

[A]

I don't think we'll be feeling the good because it doesn't feel like it's us. So I'm gonna give this scammer the name Lana. Like, Lana Del Rey, my favorite white lady musical scammer.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Look, she is a whole fraud. And I love it, okay? Like, I love it. She's super sweet.

[B]

She's, like, married to a freaking cop.

[A]

No, she's not with that cop anymore.

[B]

Wow, impressive.

[A]

The bar is on the floor for her.

[B]

Anyway.

[A]

So what is Lana up to, Priscilla?

[B]

Okay, so Lana says I have three siblings in the US Two sisters and a brother. My oldest sister has a different father than me, but my dad essentially adopted her when my parents divorced. My dad, being the scum, he is disowned my sister. Wow, that's sad. So when we would do visitation with him, only his three bio children could go.

[A]

Ew. Right.

[B]

In my dad's culture, it's completely normal for the boys to get literally twice what girls get, twice as much money as get as a gift, et cetera. Mm.

[A]

So your dad is the patriarchy? Like, he's the patriarch and the patriarchy.

[B]

Yeah. This is messy. So my brother was fully aware of his privilege. So anytime we were with my dad, he would take full advantage and expect to get two of everything. Burgers, toys. Don't get it twisted. These were often from Goodwill. Whatever we got, he made sure to get two. My dad didn't know this, but my brother was doing this intentionally to take things home to my sister so she didn't miss out. What a good brother. My brother would get two things and, like, play with them in front of my face,

[A]

like, oh, you don't have a dad who loves you anymore. Oh, too bad.

[B]

Well, I have two of these things.

[A]

I have two fire trucks for.

[B]

Oh, this is a. This is a feel good scam. Yeah. Fucking. Because you're scamming the patriarchy. You're scamming your dad. You're scamming like. Like. Sorry, but your dad is fucked up, dude, right?

[A]

He is fucked up. He's not a good guy. He's a bad dad. We're gonna say he's a bad dad.

[B]

Yeah. This is kind of heartbreaking. It's really sad. But I do appreciate that your brother, like, looked out for his sister. I wonder if he was an older brother. Either way, it'll still be cute. It's still a cute story, right?

[A]

But it has to be younger, though, right? If the.

[B]

If she's the eldest, right?

[A]

Yeah. Unless he. Unless mama had a break, baby, then she got to be the eldest, right? Love child.

[B]

Ain't nothing wrong with a love child.

[A]

I love. I love when they call it a love child. Was y' all making love? Technically, I think I'm a love child.

[B]

Your parents weren't together? Weren't they married?

[A]

No. No.

[B]

Really?

[A]

My real dad. That's my scam. I have two dads. If you. Sometimes, you're probably seeing pictures of my stepfather, because I don't call him my stepfather. I just call him my dad. But, yeah, I was the firstborn. My mom and my daddy had me in college. They were boning. And then there was me.

[B]

Gross. No. Okay, yeah. Then you are you.

[A]

I guess.

[B]

I guess that counts as a love child.

[A]

Yeah. I was made from love, honey.

[B]

Congratulations.

[A]

I love this. For me. Yes. All right, let's move on to our next scam story. I'm gonna give a name, and Priscilla, you can read this one. My name is. Let's call her Color

[B]

with a K. Cardi B and Offset. Second child.

[A]

Right. They did name the first one Culture, which is arguably questionable name.

[B]

Okay. All right. So, hey, love your podcast. Always have me rolling. And I'm writing about a couple scams I used to run on my. At my last employers. The company is an advertising agency in the Bay Area, and I worked in finance. Finance in and of itself is a scam. Scam. 1. In my first month there, they had me count the petty cash jar, saying it hasn't been Balanced in five years.

[A]

Don't tell people that, right? Can you count our money? We don't know how much money we got. Can you. Can you count it for us, though?

[B]

You just look so honest. As I went through it, I noticed lots of IOU post it notes, eye roll emoji. And at the end of it, the balance was an easy grand off from the numbers they had from last count. No one seemed to care. So between their apathy and an already shaky baseline, I saw opportunity. People would go on commercial shoots with thousands, return a few hundred or so, and there was no reconciliation happening. The return funds would just be added to petty cash. Needless to say, I skimmed a little off top every production. I respect this shit. Because you know what? Advertising is a huge fucking scam. And not just that, but they have so advertisers have so much fucking money to burn. That's why no one was even keeping up with this, Right?

[A]

Exactly. That's why you got money to throw around. But I love that. Maybe she's like, skimming off the top and they're like, we don't got enough money in our coffee budget like we used to. Oh, yeah, yeah. Starbucks start charging more, right? They start charging for icing. Y' all know how y' all like things icy. Costing us thousands, right?

[B]

Yeah. This is a cute scam. Like I said, I mean, ad agencies especially, like, when ad agencies try to, like, not pay their actors and performers, like, they deserve to be scammed.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Was that personal? Was that depersonal?

[A]

Okay, well, they decided not to pay me for my ad in.

[B]

Okay, so here's her second scam. Due to the nature of the company, they traveled all the time managing travel soon got thrown on my plate, and I came to discover they had multiple airline accounts. Ew, right? Airline accounts accumulating travel points. They also had an Amex account where they got double points, and that's the only account they would utilize when you points. I found their Delta account had been ignored for years and had thousands and thousands of points, some about to expire. Well, waste not, want not. I signed into the Delta account, changed the account info so all emails went to my email and started cashing in those points. Me, my friends and family have been all over compliments of them, and I cashed all I could out before leaving. Damn. Soon as this pandemic lifts, I'm heading to Ireland. And then my friends and I are hitting nola. This is color. Color with a K. This is a great fucking scam.

[A]

This is fantastic. Who are you hurting? You Getting miles for free. They don't even know they disorganized you and your homegirls getting flew out to Ireland.

[B]

Ireland?

[A]

Yes, Ireland. Y' all going to the Guinness Brewery. I can't talk in the average accent.

[B]

Yeah, I am fucking. I have no qualms about this at all. Like I said, advertising agents, the reason why this was possible is cause advertising agencies have dumb amounts of cash. Like stupid amounts of cash. So that's why nobody noticed it. Like this was like fucking sweat off. No sweat off their back.

[A]

An advertisement is a scam.

[B]

It is.

[A]

This is a random tidbit, but whenever. Get a fake email that you can give to every store online and in person so that you can get the points, but they cannot bother you. I have a Yahoo email address that I use specifically for anything that's bothersome, embarrassing or criminal. That's where I put all of [e-mail] because that's where it belongs. Not in my good law abiding Gmail. Okay? And that way people can't sell you shit when you don't need it. That's advertisement 101. People want to have access to you so that they can start sending you shit. And that in turn tells your brain, like, maybe I do need that lamp. Or maybe I do need another person.

[B]

What a great deal.

[A]

Don't let other people stimulate your mind.

[B]

Listen, Queen.

[A]

Okay, don't you ever let nobody stimulate

[B]

your mind when that pituitary gland be shrinking because all that dairy you be sipping on. Okay, I know you don't want to

[A]

also her taps shout out to our

[B]

HERTF and HOTEP family.

[A]

Yes, exactly. But yeah, don't let people advertise to you because then. Are you really making a choice? Do you really want to buy that thing? Just send all those people over to Yahoo. Or even better, Hotmail. Does AOL still make emails? That's definitely for crime.

[B]

No, they don't. They stop. They stop.

[A]

They don't. Yeah. Well, go on over to Hotmail.

[B]

Is Hotmail still a thing? Is it?

[A]

I think it's hot over there because it's riddled with crime.

[B]

That's why it's called Hotmail. That's what you said.

[A]

All your Hotmail. Okay, when it's too hot for Gmail, I don't know. But guys just don't. It's just don't let other people advertise to you. This advertisement company deserved to be robbed and you didn't really rob them. Like they weren't using those miles. Now you and your girls, you know in economy plus sipping on some bottled chardonnay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's good for y'. All.

[B]

I mean, you're doing big things. Ireland is like. Like, if you're going to Ireland, that's because you've been other places already.

[A]

But if you're going to Ireland and it's free. They had the miles. Miles. Well, yeah. She's about to eat Pray, love on the company dime.

[B]

Okay, good. Good for you. Great job.

[A]

You spread the wealth. You spread the wealth. Color. And that's what we appreciate. A generous scammer. An ethical science scammer.

[B]

I don't. Yeah, I don't think you can be ethical in scamming, but I get it.

[A]

Moral relativism. All right. And for our last letter here, Priscilla, you can give me a name.

[B]

Yeah. Let's call this person Gladys.

[A]

Gladys on that midnight train. Oh, that's a subunito. Oh, my God. Coming to America. Lord Jesus. All right, so Gladys says, I hope you're really, what? Excited this week. Yes, I absolutely am. Let's start at the top. I'm a gentleman of the Caucasian persuasion. Well, we named you Gladys. My entire existence is a scam. I'm glad that you know that. It's okay. I can say that I have white friends. Oh, you a regular comedian.

[B]

Gladys is making me laugh.

[A]

Gladys said, I work in apartment management at an absolute scam in quotes. Give me money to stay here and then more money for the same thing later when I decide you've been here long enough that it's a pain in your ass to move. Oh, and that money I took at the start that I said you could have back? Yeah, that's mine too. This will come up later. Okay. So I was job hunting early in the pandemic, and I applied to some admin and assistant jobs. One of them was contacted me through Indeed. Okay, Indeed.com verified, asking to move the conversation to email. Of course they wanted to move to email because that's where they gonna do crime and hotmail. So they asked some regular questions and told me that I'd work from home and arrange pickups and drop offs and manage a schedule start of like a staff of 10. I accepted and decided not to quit my other job until I started the new one. Smart.

[B]

Good.

[A]

Then things got shady. First I asked for a W2 and I was told that accounting was shutting down during COVID Okay, everybody. I feel as though accounting is an essential worker.

[B]

Also, accounting is like the one job that doesn't need to be at the office. Like, can literally continue on forever.

[A]

You Work from a computer in perpetuity. Right. As long as there's WI fi, there should be accounting.

[B]

Okay. All you have is an abacus. Okay. And a pencil.

[A]

Yeah, we use an abacus. And it is an in person job, so we hand write everyone's paycheck in crayons. So we're shutting down. So it said this was April. Okay. And they. And no one was sure of what was going to open or what would close. Right. So at this time, you could say accounting was shut down. That was. That'll make no sense. But, I mean, the NBA shut down, so I guess accounting got to shut down, too. I don't know.

[B]

That's valid.

[A]

So, you know, they had a good, plausible excuse here. So when I finally got paperwork from the job, it was just an envelope with nothing but a cashier's check. With my experience processing rent payments, I could easily spot a fake cashier's check. For one thing, it had an email printed on it. This brings us to our next level of the scam. After the delivery notification, the job kept texting me that I needed to deposit the check and then put half of it in bitcoin to donate it to an orphanage.

[B]

Okay, I'm out already. I just. How are we talking about orphanages right now? Like, how?

[A]

Like, I ain't worked a single second for this company. Y' all already giving me a check saying I got to give half the bitcoin and the other half to Annie and daddy War books. I don't understand.

[B]

This is what.

[A]

Who.

[B]

Who did they run this scam by before they decided to. Or is this the test? This is a test program. The pilot.

[A]

Right. So Gladys says this was immediately suspicious because it's not 1843, so orphanages aren't really a thing anymore. And if they would, why are they soliciting donations and bitcoin? Yeah, this is what they. Listen, before you start working with us with definitely a real company. 100, 100 legitimate business dot org. You know, we really care about the cheering. Okay. And there's actually been a recent orphanage fire. A cat got stuck in a tree. Mrs. Trunchbull got fired because she was beating on the orphans and putting them in the chokey.

[B]

That's horrible. This is like. I just. Some of these scams are just so, like, absurd.

[A]

Like, bruh, who did you run this by? And why did you think people would believe this? Now look, it is indeed dot com. It is. During the beginning of the pandemic. Everybody's looking for a work from home side hustle. Especially if you worked in person. And, you know, let's break off the orphanage while we're there. And also, let's break off Bitcoin while we hear GameStop shares. And eventually, eventually you will start working for us. So with the check in one hand and a blunt in the other, I texted Job that I was at the bank speaking to a teller. They told me just to use the ATM scanner because it would be quicker. I painted a story over the whole afternoon of being asked to go to the bank offices behind the counter and being asked questions about the check. So he's lying about this. He's like, I went to Chase. And they were like, hey, hey, girl. Can you actually come around the partition? Come around the Chase partition?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We believe your check is a scheme, you know, and I do the whole song. So he paints this whole story of like, the bank was asking question questions then. So after telling this whole story, they ignore text for two days and started following up the job with very suspicious questions. Okay, so purposely changing my style of speech is what Gladys said he did. Much easier when you can scroll up and down and read how you phrase things when you thought it was, like, real. Okay, I don't understand what that means. Do you understand what that means?

[B]

Yeah. He's like, it's easier for him to change his speech style because he has all his history and writing. So you can just read how he wrote before and change it up.

[A]

Okay, understood. I asked for a return address and a legal name of the person who issued the check. As you can imagine, this stopped communication entirely. The email started bouncing back and the texts were undeliverable, and I continued job hunting. So I love that these people were like, oh, you're asking legitimate questions. Abort, abort, Cancel.

[B]

Cancel.

[A]

Cancel Hotmail. Cancel the phone number. All right, give me a flip phone. Throw this one out.

[B]

Like, give me a cup of water so I could throw this burner in there.

[A]

They immediately just chucked the whole computer in the ocean and started over. And I love that for them. So he. So Gladys says that he started job hunting again. And then he received another email asking for the same info as the original scam. Wow. This time I took a different route. I started photoshopping bitcoin receipts before they even sent checks. I got another set of instructions and another fake cashier's check. When provided with the bitcoin transfer confirmations to very slightly off accounts, they became infuriated with me. So basically he was like, this time around, I said that, okay, yeah, I will do the bitcoin. Okay, here is your form that I do the bitcoin. Oh, the numbers are changed. Wow. We didn't send it to the right account. Curious. I did it wrong. So when they provided the bitcoin transformations and the accounts were up, they began to be infuriated with me. So I asked for another check. All told, I ended up with a frame of four fake cashier's checks in my name. And the last time I moved, I'm pretty sure one of my movers stole it. More power to him. I hope the bank teller isn't paying attention when he tries to cash it. Wow. So movers, I'm sad that y' all saw these checks because these checks aren't good.

[B]

You're going to jail.

[A]

Don't put that check in your account. It's gonna bounce this, you know, you don't wanna put checks in your account. And they doing the shoulder lean. You know what I mean? You don't wanna put a check in account. It's like, I swag when I serve. Now watch me surf. You don't want no swag surfing. No swag surfing checks. That's not what you want in your life.

[B]

Yeah, I just, you know, this is like as usual and we talk about this how, like scams, you know, scammers always try to focus on the vulnerable, right? And when you're looking for a freaking job, you are at your. One of your most vulnerable. And it's something, it says something that like they were scamming so hard that like he applies for a whole new job and it's like, oh shit, it's the same fucking scammers.

[A]

And they're probably getting people because especially during, you know, the beginning of a global pandemic, everyone was confused. No one had the right information. The government did and they refused to tell us, right? And you're trying to find employment. This person is looking for anything, you know, in the assistant temp, administrative health, you know, area. So that's also broad. You're not necessarily looking for a specific job. So you are the perfect target for people on Monster.

[B]

Indeed.

[A]

You know, all of these places to be like LinkedIn to get a link into your bank account.

[B]

I mean, yeah, this is. I'm glad that, that Gladys, that he dragged this out of them, you know what I mean? Like pulled out the scam from them, you know, like played along, played the game and it's like, yeah, now guess what you got. Eventually you have to throw everything in the ocean and leave the country, right?

[A]

You gotta go on The. On the old. The original Titanic and drop the blue diamond in the ocean. Like, oops. Like, we just gotta start over and move on. I also love that this man, Gladys, took the time to scam them back, wasted their time, asked them to send checks, Photoshop, bitcoin. Clearly he was underemployed. What are you doing over here, Gladys? Photoshopping bitcoin just to fuck with people. I love that. The pettiness.

[B]

Gladys is just giving them a taste of their own medicine and I fuck with it. I would do that. I have no problem doing shit like that.

[A]

I don't either. Also because I don't approve of this scam. Specifically because you are targeting people who are financially vulnerable. When you're looking for a job, it's because you need a job, because you need to pay somebody. Right? So these people don't have extra coins lying around for you to be robbing them when they looking for employment opportunities.

[B]

Right? Yeah, they deserve. They should. Yeah. Fuck the scam. Fuck these scammers.

[A]

We don't approve.

[B]

Two thumbs down.

[A]

Two thumbs down. And that brings us to the end. Another episode of Confessions. If you would like to snitch. Stool pigeon. You know, tattletail on your friends, family, loved ones. Rat. We love it. We need it. Please snitch at scam. Got a spot. Gmail.com if you'd like to follow the show. Scam Got His Pod on all platforms. If you'd like to follow me. D I V A L A C I, Diva Lacey on all platforms.

[B]

And of course you can follow me at Priscilla Davies, actor on Instagram and qot Desert. Like Queen of the desert on Twitter.

[A]

Q desert.

[B]

Q desert. Quat desert.

[A]

Quat.

[B]

Ew. You got a quat quat.

[A]

I just quat quatted.

[B]

Ew.

[A]

Congregation, stay confessing. Congregation.

[B]

Wait, wait, don't go.

[A]

Guys, we're nominated for a Webby Award in the category of crime and justice. And y' all know this show ain't about justice. It's only about crime. Crime time. Well, scam crimes, okay? Not the, you know, worst crimes, but scams, okay? And guys, this show is free, so if you want to give me a tip, please check out the comment section of this podcast and click on the Webby Awards and vote for our show in crime and justice so we can scam the Webbies. Because you know, that ain't what we about. Alright? Stay schem.