Con-Fessions: Drink Dupes (Plus Motorcycles)

Summary

Scam Goddess

Episode: Con-Fessions: Drink Dupes (Plus Motorcycles)

Air Date: June 24, 2021

Host: Laci Mosley

Guest: Priscilla Davies

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Episode Overview

This episode of Scam Goddess welcomes listeners to another hilarious "Con-Fessions" segment, where Laci Mosley and her co-host, Priscilla Davies, read wild scam stories submitted by fans. The central theme is retail scams, focusing mainly on creative schemes pulled off in coffee shops, but also features a cheeky racing event scam and a segue into motorcycle stories. As always, Laci and Priscilla bring their signature wit, side commentary, and “stay scheming” energy, offering validation for the scammers—but only as long as the “retired” status applies.

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Key Segments and Themes

1. Listener Story #1: The Hotel Coffee Shop Heist (00:30–15:47)

Summary

• A listener (“Connie”) recalls her teenage days working at a poorly managed hotel chain’s coffee shop.
• Coworkers give her an unusually large tip, which turns out to be money skimmed from voided transactions.
• The scam involves voiding orders, giving customers correct change from the till, and pocketing the cash—carefully calculated using a TI-83 graphing calculator.
• Connie, naive at first, quickly joins in, leaving each shift flushed with cash, until paranoia and a management close-call have her bow out.

Notable Commentary

• Laci and Priscilla riff on the “blessings” of unexplained cash and the importance of plausible deniability:
  • “Call me Helen Keller. Cause I didn’t see shit and I didn’t hear shit either.” – Laci (03:16)
  • “Sometimes you gotta mind your business and just accept blessings from where they rain down.” – Laci (02:47)
• Commentary on snowboarding as a “poor” person’s activity and the wild teenage bravado of Connie’s crew.
• The risk factors: unbalanced registers, lazy management, and the danger of inexperienced scammers getting greedy or chatty.

Timestamps & Highlights

• 02:20 – Laci on “don’t ask questions” and plausible deniability.
• 07:10 – Humorous tangent about “being poor” and going snowboarding.
• 09:44 – Connie admits giving hundreds of free drinks to friends.
• 11:56 – Close call with the manager, nearly snitching without realizing it.
• 14:23 – Laci and Priscilla reflect on “stealing as a teen” and the dangers of incriminating yourself.

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2. Listener Story #2: The One-Cup Comp Queen (16:07–20:02)

Summary

• “Yannick” worked at a large coffee chain, running solo on the drive-thru.
• An innocent comp for a dollar-short customer leads to a regular hustle: ring up drinks as comps and pocket the cash as tips.
• Overworks and underpayment push Yannick to keep exploiting the system until she leaves, never caught and even promoted.
• Irony: Her manager gets fired for register theft, likely too distracted to notice Yannick's lighter scheme.

Notable Quotes

• “Honestly, the real scam is that charging $6 for a latte is way too much. And I was being overworked and I was only getting $8 an hour. I know that’s right.” – Laci (19:00)
• “The corporate scam, baby. The capitalism scam. That’s the real motherfucking scam here.” – Priscilla (19:06)

Timestamps & Highlights

• 16:53 – Laci on “doing three people’s jobs” and approving the scam.
• 18:26 – Promotion despite ongoing scam.
• 19:22 – Hosts cheerlead for underpaid workers finding loopholes.

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3. Listener Story #3: The DIY Press Pass Rally Scam (20:07–27:28)

Summary

• “Judith” and friends print fake business cards to pose as media at a mountain rally car race, getting press passes for VIP access.
• The teens are caught only when they mistakenly drive on the active racecourse, have passes confiscated, and can’t provide a fake editor.
• Hosts marvel at the creativity and minimal tech of the scam—a business card was all it took!

Notable Quotes

• “We live in this small town, people like to do these dirt races… But then they realized they could print out some business cards and then show up… like, ‘Hey, we are journalists of journalisms and I am a photographer of photography!’” – Laci (21:38)
• “I fucking love this scam. I’m actually going to see if I can implement it.” – Priscilla (24:32)

Timestamps & Highlights

• 22:39 – Laci’s animated recap of the rally scam.
• 25:24 – The fake press pass goes to the kids’ heads.
• 26:06 – “All she needed was maybe a green visor.” (Visor factoid tangent.)

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4. Motorcycle & Beekeeping Tangent (03:26–06:39; 23:30–24:22)

Summary

• Conversation detours into TikTok beekeepers, accidental racism on the internet, and what counts as a “hero.”
• Second major tangent: wild motorcycle accidents, LA’s lane splitting laws, and why neither host would risk two wheels.

Memorable Moments

• Deep dive into beekeeping drama and skepticism about viral “bee rescues.”
• “Every motorcycle driver I know… has a story about how they almost got killed by someone who didn’t see them.” – Priscilla (23:43)

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Listener Lessons & Final Thoughts (27:28–end)

• Both hosts reflect on the ethics and perils of petty scams—especially when young or underpaid.
• Overarching attitude: Stick it to capitalism when you can, but avoid greed and don’t ask too many questions if you don’t want to be implicated.

Parting Wisdom

• “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.” – Laci (15:10)
• “The real scam is the multi-billion dollar companies working you to death for ramen wages.” – (Paraphrased from both hosts’ sentiments.)

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Notable Quotes & Gags

• “Your name would have been Bennett, and you would not have been in it.” – Laci (08:36)
• “I love a scam with props.” – Laci (27:17)
• “You ain’t out here, Lululemon, massaging the bees and shit.” – Laci on fake beekeepers (05:04)

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Episode Structure and Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamps | |------------------------------------- |:--------------:| | Welcome & Introduction | 00:00–00:30 | | Listener Story #1: Hotel Coffee Scam | 00:30–15:47 | | Listener Story #2: Coffee Comp Scam | 16:07–20:02 | | Listener Story #3: Rally Car Press | 20:07–27:28 | | Motorcycle Tangent | 23:30–24:22 | | Closing Thoughts & Advice | 27:28–end |

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Tone & Style

• Loose, conversational, and heavy on improv riffing between Laci and Priscilla.
• Encouraging but with light-hearted warnings about getting “too greedy” or self-incriminating.
• Frequent asides, pop culture references, and relatable millennial humor.

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Takeaways

This "Con-Fessions" episode is a celebration of small-time workplace scheming and resourceful, mostly-victimless scams, set against the backdrop of corporate exploitation and youthful adventure. Laci and Priscilla cheer on the underdogs, lampoon clueless management, and remind listeners that knowing less can sometimes be the best way to “stay schemin’” safely.

“If you want to snitch on your friends and family, just make sure the scam is retired.” – Scam Goddess sign-off

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Stay Scheming!

Transcript

[A]

What's poppin, Congregation? And welcome to another installment of Confessions. This is where we read your listener letters. And as always, you can snitch on your friends and [e-mail]. just make sure your scam is retired because we don't want to. What up your bag? It's me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scan Goddess. And I'm joined by my amazing host, as per usual.

[B]

What else? Amazing. What else?

[A]

Glamorous. Beautiful.

[B]

Okay. A queen. Oh, damn. It's me, Priscilla Davies.

[A]

Not you making in your introduction, guys. All right, let's just get into it. Priscilla, you can take this first letter. I will give you a fake name. Let's call this person Connie. Like Connie.

[B]

Hey, we like it. Connie. Okay, so Connie is saying, I've got a scam for you. Actually, it's more like stealing in a crafty way. Which I guess is what a scam is at the end of the day. You're right, Connie. So I worked at a coffee shop that was part of a major hotel chain. Like one of those weird licensed stores that's off the main lobby where no one actually knows how to make the drinks properly. Okay. The hotel was run like shit and the management was a disaster. There were like five employees of the coffee shop. And I got really close to two of the girls there. They were a bit older than me and I thought they were so badass at the time. But looking back, I realized they were kind of trash. Which is okay. Cause I'm trash too.

[A]

Okay, well, at least you can acknowledge that. I like that we can be honest with ourselves here.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

We were kind of trash. You were kind of trash.

[B]

We were all kind of trash is what I'm saying.

[A]

We're all kind of trash, honestly.

[B]

And it was okay. Anyway, one day we had a huge conference at the hotel or something. Like hundreds of customers came through nonstop business. At the end of the shift, my two coworkers pass me about $300 in cash and are like, here's your tips. Now, it don't matter how busy we got, we never got that much in tips. These were cheap ass Middle America conference goers who would throw their spare change in the tip jar. I never saw no hundreds in that jar, let alone $1,000 worth in tips from a day. So I'm like, okay, who the fuck tipped us this much?

[A]

Now? Why are you asking questions? I would've just been like, thank you for my share. At least they cut you in. You know what? I' like, that was very kind of them. I'M like, thank you so much for my tee ups. And I have no questions because I do not want to be implicated in whatever the fuck is going on here. Because if you're selling two dollar coffees and I'd have made $300, we'd have made a thousand dollars today. I'd be like, wow, this is such a blessing. And I wouldn't ask no questions. I don't want to be an accomplice.

[B]

I agree, I agree. Sometimes the less you know, sometimes the better.

[A]

Sometimes you gotta mind your business and, and just accept blessings from where they rain down. You know, when the blessings rain down on me, I'm gonna just, you know, receive it and say thank you, Jesus.

[B]

Okay? So you know, I'm like, who the fuck tipped us this much? And they were like, we gonna tell you something, but you can't say shit. Or we all going down and see,

[A]

that's where you gotta just be like, you know what, I don't wanna know.

[B]

Once I heard that, I would've been like, exactly. That's the part I would've been like, you know what, Nevermind. I'm just gonna play dumb.

[A]

Call me Helen Keller. Cause I didn't see shit and I didn't hear shit either. Okay, I'm gone. I don't want to know.

[B]

Oh my God. Shout out to Helen Keller, who by the way was like a legit, like anti racist. Did you know that?

[A]

Really?

[B]

She was a legit anti racist.

[A]

Wow, I'm shocked. Because these days I don't be holding no hope in my heart for our white heroes. There's this lady on TikTok called the Texas Beekeeper and she's like this white lady who scoops up bees with her hands and shit. And like, yeah, I love her.

[B]

Don't tell me she's racist.

[A]

Save the bees. Oh, they done milkshake ducked her. And it was so funny. Cause I was looking at her saving some bees and I said, I wonder if she racist. They probably gonna tell me tomorrow. And the next day they were like, she's a Trump supporter and she be f in her videos since they said that she be. Sometimes she gets like, she says she gets calls to come save the bees. But like she recently did a video where she was like, I got a call to come save the bees from this. You know, she has this like ASMR voice. I got a call to come save the bees from this umbrella. And so she starts scooping the bees out with her hands and, and putting them into her little, you know, beekeeper and then she was like. I noticed when I was looking for a queen, I couldn't find one, but luckily I had one in my pocket. So she pulls a queen bee out of her pocke pocket and puts it in the hive with them. And everybody was like, huh, this is very convenient. So you just have a queen in your pocket like that.

[B]

The queen says she okay. And she was okay with that. The queen was okay with that. She said that was okay, right?

[A]

You got the queen on you? Well, I was really doing my b research because I was interested. And apparently they'd be making like multiple queens. But it's like the queen that hatches first will get up and kill all the other queens and she the main queen. So they will go steal the extra queens once a queen is born so that they. They can give them to like hives that don't queens.

[B]

Wow, you really.

[A]

Cuz they was gonna get murdered anyway.

[B]

You went deep. You went deep.

[A]

Yeah, I did, I did. But then like a real. Another beekeeping came out. And she got short hair and she had a bunch of stings on her face that she had little bandages on. So she really looked like she was about that life. And she was like, look, y', all, this is faking. First of all, I don't know beekeeper who got long hair. And if they do have long hair, they wrap that up. Because you can't be out here keeping the bees with your hair down. What if the bees get in your hair and sting your neck like the. She is setting this up. They said she bringing her own bees and then letting them go and then scoop. Scooping them out with her hand. And she said what she not showing is, is that anytime she go up to the bees to antagonize them, she got a full hazmat suit on and she's spraying them with smoking. And then she be getting into her cute little leggings and cute top and then scooping them up her hand. So she, you know, so somebody came out and was like, this ain't real. I'm a real beekeeper, okay? I get stung early day. This ain't it. She was like, I would never wear leggings. We wear our industrial beekeeping pants and we wear our gator boots. We ain't out here our gator boots. We ain't Lululemon fucking massaging the bees and shit. Like she playing. And I was like, damn. And it's my. I don't know, the Trump supporter stuff hasn't been confirmed yet. Cause I was on a deep dive. Everybody was saying it, but I ain't seen no receipts, so we'll see. But she is from Texas. And come on now, like, are white women in Texas not voting for Trump? Come on. Okay, you know, the, the chances are high, right? So, you know, but all of this to say, you know, you never know. I. I try to keep my, my white lady heroes. I want them to be good. I still hope in my heart, but if it comes out, you know. But anyways, back to you and your nosy ass. Ms. Connie, who you wanted the tea?

[B]

Okay, so I'm like, fuck now. Now I'm up in this scam, but I was poor as hell at the time and I think I wanted to go snowboarding that weekend. So I was like, okay, show me

[A]

you were poor and you were going snowboarding.

[B]

Okay, that's a.

[A]

That ain't no poor activity. Don't call yourself poor.

[B]

Snowboarding is so expensive. I used to be a fucking avid snowboarder. This shit is so expensive, right? She's like, I was so poor, I wasn't sure if I could go snowboarding for the weekend up in Vail.

[A]

I was so poor I didn't know how I was gonna afford the yacht in Greece, you know?

[B]

Okay, so she's like, okay, show me these bitches then. Showed me that when they type in a customer's order on the screen, instead of processing the order, they would void out the entry and then give the customer change by doing the math quickly on a calculator. Also lol, that no one can do basic math in their head. Like they had a full ass T TI 83 TI 83 under the cash register. You don't need no damn graphing calculator for that kind of math. Come on now.

[A]

No, I appreciate that. Because here's the thing. You don't want to fuck up the tallying because that's how you get caught.

[B]

That's how you get caught.

[A]

So I like that they put on. What did they used to have back in the day in all them cartoons when the cash register would have like that little visor? I like that they put on a visor and that they got the TI83 out. And they said, bitch, we do a long division.

[B]

What is the point of that visor? I'm gonna Google that shit next episod. I'll break that down.

[A]

They said A plus B equals C squared B. What the fuck is you saying? We not gonna fuck this math up. The math is mathing.

[B]

They were doing their co signs cuz they had a ti83. So they could. So anyway, they showed me that. They showed me that. And, yeah, I knew it was. It was bad, but I'm like, well, I'm not the one stealing. I'm just getting some extra cash. I can play dumb. It's too late to play dumb.

[A]

No, it's too dumb.

[B]

It's too fucking late to play dumb.

[A]

You should have played dumb earlier when they gave you the money. At least they were being honest scammers and breaking you off some coin. You could have just kept your mouth shut, collected your coins, and not been involved. Your name would have been Bennett, and you would not have been in it.

[B]

You heard? You heard. Yeah. I mean, let's see how this goes. I can play dumb if we ever get caught. Yada, yada. So then we start wiling out on this with this scam, and no joke, I'd leave my shifts with hundreds in cash just rolled up in my dickies pan. Mm. Like, I'm 16 years old with a bankroll. With a Bankroll. Rolling into 711 for a Slurpee after my shift. The wildest part, we never got caught. Wow.

[A]

Love that for you.

[B]

Okay. Congratulations, son. Like, we kept the cash in a coffee cup in the drawer below the cash register. If any of the managers decided to open that damn jar, we were fucked. But luckily, they were a mess and didn't even step foot in the store. Side note, I would tell you my. I would tell my friends to come in and make them 40,000 drinks for free. It was the wild west, and she counted 40,000.

[A]

And here's my thing. I kind of wish that y' all would have done some better accounting so y' all could have covered yalls asses. But I realized that if you 16. Like, that's the thing about being a child. This is why we talk about your brain not being fully developed until you're in, what, your early 20s? Like, it's like 25.

[B]

25. It's 25 when you stop developing your frontal lobe.

[A]

Because at 25, you probably would have been like, you know, let's pace ourselves. Like, we should be thinking about inventory. Because they're going to be like, how are we going through all of this folgers when I'm not seeing the coin? You know? But obviously y' all was getting carried away. If y' all got caught, y' all would have gotten in trouble. Trouble. So this was just the grace of God that y' all didn't get.

[B]

Police. Also real trouble.

[A]

I appreciate this is a big hotel chain because again, daddy Capitalism. Like them managers weren't pressed to. To worry about the fucking money of the corporation. That's not they business, everybody. Business is to clock in and clock out, get through the day. Like so.

[B]

I mean, there's so many. Yeah, this is. You have so much cover because it's like a huge hotel chain corporation. And then a coffee shop ins, like that's the last of their worries. They like that we have a coffee

[A]

shop in this hotel. Right. That's why. And if the coffee shop was never really doing numbers in the first place, then skimming, they not gonna notice.

[B]

Exactly. There was one time though where the cast register was wildly off and the two girls had left. And so I was closing out and my manager was like, what the fuck? Why is this so off? And my dumb ass was like, well, maybe they forgot to actually like input orders into the system. Mind you, again, I'm 16 at this point, so I'm dumb as hell thinking that was an okay thing to suggest. And my manager is like, well, I really hope they didn't do that because that is theft and we'd have to turn them over to the police. I don't know how I backed out of that one. But I think after he left, I just threw some cash in the register and was like, oh, look, it turned up. So shady. But he was dumb too, so it worked.

[A]

So, girl, you should have been like, let me count again, and got some money out your pocket and counted it and added it then. Well, actually, no, that might have put you at risk, but like, you definitely shouldn't have been like, oh, the drawer is off. Maybe it's because they stealing, you know, it's not, it's nothing.

[B]

You basically said stealing by another name, right?

[A]

You were like, maybe it's cause we robbing the place.

[B]

Maybe because they just like, you know, void checks as soon as they come in. I don't know.

[A]

Maybe it's because they charge customers and then they put the money in their pocket. But, you know, it's the standard business procedure. Don't Worry about it, Mr. Manager. Girl, I'm lucky that manager didn't give a fuck. He probably didn't give a fuck enough to call the police. He was probably like, this is gonna be a lot of paperwork for me. Also, if the. If the drawer come up short, that's on him too. So he probably was like, let me wait until corporate sees this and then I'm gonna be like, I'll pretend to be shocked and I'll fire them. Cause he was obviously not trying to Go through the trouble at that moment.

[B]

Okay. So from then on, I was like, oh, hell no. I'm not about to get swarmed by the suburban popo. So I think after that, I was like, nah, I'm Gucci, you guys continue scamming. They eventually left before me, and then I was fired because management wanted me to work on New Year's Day or something. And I was like, no, I want to be with my friends so we can play games all night. Yeah. I was like, you're 16. Like, what were you doing on New Year's Eve day? We didn't drink at that point, which is the funniest part. I just wanted to drink sparkling apple juice and play charades. Lol. Sacrifice for my job, for that girl. This is a lot. So I just didn't show up. And they're like, okay, you're done. Bye. The funniest part is the whole damn hotel shut down like, six months after I left. Every time I drove past that giant empty building after that, I was like, holy fuck, did I do that? But nah, they sucked and had it coming. Or at least that's what I tell myself to sleep at night 16 years later.

[A]

So you. You got lucky that this hotel was already probably having poor business practices across the board. So they were probably, like, just trying to get occupancy. They were like, the shit is in the red. So they not noticing that the coffee shop in the red, because they, like, everything's in the red. You got really lucky that this hotel was a piece of shit, because if it had been running properly, y' all would have definitely got caught.

[B]

I mean, I. What? I'd like to know. What was her name again? I forgot. You named her Connie. That's right. Connie. I'd like to know, Connie, how much did you guys make out with, like, over the course of your time there? I'm like. Cause if your first cut in was 300 beezies, you know what I'm saying? Like, well, she said that was after

[A]

a big conference, so maybe after that, she's leaving with, like, a hundred. You know, like, maybe 150.

[B]

I hope that Connie got to, like, at least a G. A 16. A G is huge, right? It's huge.

[A]

Obviously, she had sparkling grape juice money. She had snowboarding money. Like, she sure did, girl. Also, she said she was poor. Baby girl, you 16. I'm assuming you living with your family. Ain't no such thing as being poor when you 16 and you live with your family. Like, I mean, there is there absolutely, yes, there Is. I'm gonna take that back. Yes. But, you know, you got a little job, so you got your little income coming in. You worried about getting to the skateboarding or snowboarding venue.

[B]

Sounds like you were doing all right. You were doing okay, Connie.

[A]

Right. It don't sound like you was paying your mama light bill with this. So.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Good job, Connie. So I hope you learned in this last 16 years, now that your prefrontal cortex has developed, I hope that you learn. Like, if you don't know, then you don't have to answer no questions. Don't ask no questions. Don't question nothing. Just take the money.

[A]

Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. I mean, if people cut you in, that was kind of them, because they could have just kept money to themselves because they all knew they were stealing and they were taking all the risk.

[B]

Yup, yup.

[A]

So they probably only cut you in because they assumed you knew they were stealing but you wasn't paying attention.

[B]

Yeah. Congratulations, Connie. Good job.

[A]

You just got lucky that you were with some earnest scammers who weren't greedy. And that's probably why y' all didn't get caught, because nobody got greedy and y' all was keeping it cool. But also, like, Connie, don't up the bag. Like, if he was already stealing with him, don't think that if y' all got caught, they wasn't gonna throw you in too. So you might as well just kept getting your coin right along with them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I understand you got scared because you actually did snitch on them.

[B]

Yeah, you clearly are not good at lying.

[A]

Also, they should not have told you what was going on because you snitched on them immediately. I mean, you didn't know you were snitching, but you did. So. Yeah. All right, guys, on to our next scam. Priscilla, give me a name.

[B]

Let's call them Yannick.

[A]

Yannick and Yannick, this is another coffee scam. You know the best part of waking up scams in your cup? We love to hear it. So it says, Yannick says, I work at a very popular and big name coffee shop for about six years. When I first started, I was told to make sure that my till balanced out at the end of the day because if it was short, I would get into trouble. Well, duh. I was often working the drive thru by myself, taking orders, payments and filling orders out alone. So shortly. Damn. So, girl, you had to be on the phone thing like, hey, this is Starbucks, okay? What, you want a caramel? Latte, and then you had to go cook up the latte, and then you had to charge them for it. That's. This line must have been moving hella slow. You was doing everything. God damn. So a little too much. Did you have to rock the bathrooms, too? Like you were being overworked.

[B]

Being overworked.

[A]

So I already approve of whatever scam you did because you was working three people's jobs. Like, you know, you ain't supposed to have to cook the coffee, get the order, bring the order up, and then you mopping in between, bitch, you got to come out and wash the windows like they was asking a lot from you, especially if this was a huge shame. So it says, shortly after I started, I was in the drive through by myself, and a man drove up to the window. He had ordered a large coffee, and I'd handed out his drink as he gave me cash. And then he drove off. When I counted it, I realized it was a dollar short. I was worried that I was gonna get fired for my till being short. Then I remembered we had a button to comp drinks for when a customer needed us to remake a drink or whatever. So in a panic, I comp the drink and put the cash in the tip. Over the next few days, I waited for someone to ask me about it, but no one ever did. Girl, it's one drink. You hit it and you put it in the machine, right? So, you know, why would they ask?

[B]

But I love, I love, I love it. Seems like she kind of, like, stumbled upon this scam, which, yeah, is kind of the best kind of scam.

[A]

She found an opportunity, you know, exploited it and exploited it, and that's how a lot of scams start. So she said she kept doing it honestly. Well, you don't want too many comps to be popping up, sis. But all right, so she said she kept doing it. Whenever a customer would pay exact change or tell me to keep the change, I'd comp the drink and put the cash in my tip jar. Sometimes I would change the drink from a latte to a regular coffee and put the extra change in the tip jar. I did this the entire time that I worked there. And our tips were great each week. I even got promoted twice. And I decided to leave the company. Like, before she decided to leave the company, they were like, of course you got promoted twice. Since you were doing everybody's job, you

[B]

were literally managing as. Did you get to manager? Are you GM now?

[A]

Right. So nobody ever found out, even though I was sure that one day I would get caught. Two years later, my manager got fired because she got caught stealing money from the registers. So I think she was too busy focusing on her own scam to notice mine, because I didn't find out that they keep track of how many drinks were being comped. But honestly, the real scam is that charging $6 for a latte is way too much. And I was being overworked and I was only getting $8 an hour. I know that's right.

[B]

Okay? The corporate scam, baby. The capitalism scam. That's the real motherfucking scam here.

[A]

And if they probably weren't working you to death, you probably wouldn't have even done that scam again. But you were like, oh, I need this money, because they were barely paying you and they had you washing the window, sis. They were like, somebody needs to go out and power wash the parking lot. And they were like, go ahead and get out there, Yannick.

[B]

Okay. I feel like we are like two attorneys trying to get Yannick to like, listen, you were right. Choose us. Mosley and Davies. Okay?

[A]

Right? We'll get you out. We'll fight for you.

[B]

No, but, yeah, Yanni, you had. You. You did exactly what you should have done. You were being overworked and underpaid. We already established that. And you didn't even do this on purpose. It was an accident. And you would never. And you probably would never have continued if they had not been treating you the right way. If they had been treating you the right way. It's not your fault is what we're saying.

[A]

Right? And instead of looking out for you, they were playing.

[B]

Exactly. So they got what they deserved.

[A]

Exactly. So give me a name. Priscilla.

[B]

Judith.

[A]

Judith. Judith says I have a good retired scam for you. When I was in high school, I got into, like really into rally car racing. Basically four wheel drive cars driving way too fast on dirt roads. Okay. Very Dukes of Hazard. There was a big annual race that went up a mountain near where I lived, and some friends and I decided to go watch. Races like this have a bunch of different stages, not all of which are open to the public. The tickets to a spectator are also pretty expensive. So we decided to print up fake business cards using those perforated business cards you could run through your inkjet printer.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We love a staple scam. We ran up these cards and had them identify us as journalists. I was a photojournalist at something called Magnolia Media. Although I'm not even sure I had a camera with me. These things worked like a charm. We all four of us, like 18ish years old, were issued official press passes and allowed virtually anywhere on the race course without having to pay any entry fees. Unfortunately, we did eventually get caught. At one point on day two of a three day race, we started driving back down the mountain because we thought the current race was finished and of course the track would be cleared, but it was not. We didn't get hit by a race car or anything, but a course marshal pulled us over and confiscated our press passes, telling us that we could get them back at the press office. We actually tried to do this, but when the people at the press office asked to speak to our editor before they would give us our passes back, we knew the jig was up. Wow. Yeah. So.

[B]

Okay, pause. I have to read this. I didn't. I was lost.

[A]

So Dukes of Hazzard basically was like, we live in this small town, people like to do these dirt races, races. We usually go climb up some mountain so we can watch the races from afar. But then they realized they could print out some business cards and then show up to the actual race and be like, hey, we are journalists of journalisms and I am a photographer of photography. And we are here to photograph and journalize this event. And since they had business cards, that was all they needed as proof that they were journalists because nobody was checking. So they end up getting caught when they thought that the races were over and they decided to drive their car on the track because remember, it's like a dirt road. So they're like, oh, we just hop on this dirt road and drive back. And they got caught. And then they took their press passes away and we're like, you can go get them back later. But y' all in trouble right now because we still got race cars driving. It's still racist happening. Can you imagine if it was like a formula one race and somehow you could get your car on the fucking donut?

[B]

Can you imagine? Like, I'm just in my Mazda CX5.

[A]

Like Gordon is driving past me at

[B]

like a million miles. It's like, you know how scary. Like, you ever pull over on the freeway for some reason? You know how scary that shit is when those cars shaking your car driving? I'm like, you realize how fast they're really going? Yeah, I just saw this video of this, like, I guess it was a motorcycle race or whatever. And the guy falls off his thing and like, you know, is sliding. Cause he's still going on this momentum, like on his body with his stuff, creating sparks. Cause he's got all that gear on and then he has to fucking get up. Cause the fucking. More like the other bikes are coming at him. And it was like, it was so intense. He made it to the side, but I was like, the guy's gonna die. He's gonna. Like, this is. It was so intense.

[A]

That's chaotic. I don't know how people ride motorcycles. Cause it's just, I'm not coordinated enough for that. And like it's just too easy to die every day for me to be just adding some extra on. Like not having four doors and a roof.

[B]

Every motorcycle driver I know, because there's a lot in la, you know, every motorcycle driver I know has a story about how they almost got killed by someone who didn't see them.

[A]

Also, they be doing the most swerving through lanes and it's like if you're swerving through a lane fast and someone checks the lane and they're merging and now you popping up through the lane like, what? You know how many times I've almost hit a motorcyclist like that where I check and I'm merging and then they, they're swooping.

[B]

Yep, yep.

[A]

At the same time.

[B]

Yeah. But that's because LA has these ridiculous laws where, where, you know, bikes can like split lanes, which, you know, I was like, that shit sounds dangerous to me.

[A]

Right. Like I can't trust that cars are paying attention. I can't trust in a four door motor vehicle that everybody is paying attention to the road. So I damn sure ain't gonna do it in a motorcycle.

[B]

I gotta say, I fucking love this scam. I love that. Like, first of all, I love this scam. I'm actually going to see if I can implement it. Like, girl, anything we need to get into, let's just make business cards and act like we're press.

[A]

Right. That's all it takes is a business card these days. You need a lot more. You need an email and a QR code. But back then I'm sure, or you know, if you had some event where they driving on dirt, I'm sure that the technology is not quite there.

[B]

Right, right. This is really smart.

[A]

I mean, like, is the event itself even legal? Are they allowed to drive on this dirt? Because this don't sou like nascar.

[B]

Okay. And this is a, this is a high school scam. Respect. Mad respect, y'. All. You really did the damn thing. I respect this a lot, especially for high school.

[A]

Y' all took yalls high school education and y' all really put it to use.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And it Worked for a little while. And also, you never got in trouble. Like, these people were still very polite to be like, oh, if you want your press pass back, you gotta, like, let us talk to your editor. Like, that's very nice of them. When they really probably realize these children are literally 18. I know they. I know they go to the local high school. This one is a photographer and ain't

[B]

got no camera, but God damn those business cards.

[A]

And look, cameras are expensive. That would have been a very expensive prop if you don't already just own, like, a professional camera. So I fully understand. You know, I guess you could have been like, came in with, like, a Kodak and be like, you know, we do artsy stuff at Magnolia.

[B]

Maybe like a pencil and paddle.

[A]

You put the pencil behind your ear, you have on one of those Kango hats, right? And you talk like this. It's Johnny.

[B]

I'm here to find out about the speed races.

[A]

It's Johnny from Wall Street News, Magnolia Media here. You talk like you're a 1920s, like, fucking paper boy. Like, get your nose.

[B]

I mean, all she needed was maybe a green visor. We found out about the visor, y'. All. So the reason why they use visors, accountants, et cetera, back at the turn of the century, if you will, is because of the incandescent light were harsh on their eyes. So apparently those green visors kind of blocked it out. Shout out to Marina for giving us real information. Digging that up on us, for us, on us, for us, on us. You know, I don't have anything to hide.

[A]

Digging that up against us. No.

[B]

So, yeah, now you guys know, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

Yeah, I fucking. I respect this. Shout out to Magnolia Media. I'm going to follow them on Instagram.

[A]

I love a scam with props. And honestly, y' all probably could have kept going, but you took it too far. Why are y' all driving on the track? Like, just because y', all media, y' all thought y' all was just gonna drive on the track.

[B]

She said she thought it was over. They were like, oh, we're done. Oh, great. I just imagine them, like, backing out, like, normal as fuck. Just like, do, do, do.

[A]

I feel like that's something you should check. I feel like you should really make sure that they'. And that's our day. You should make sure, like, everything. You should not just be like, we thought, when you gonna drive on a racetrack?

[B]

They let that, like, fake press pass go to their head.

[A]

They did.

[B]

They're like, we know how it works here, right?

[A]

They're like, we are press, right? Literally, they said we come to all the events, so. And also, like, just because you have a press pass. I've never been to any type of event where having a press pass meant that I could just, like, get on the main. Main stage of any event. Like, if you have a press pass, that'll mean you can go to Vogue Fashion Week and walk on the Runway because you think the Runway show over. That's not how press passes work.

[B]

People do that. People do. Also remember, this is a dirt race. A race in the dirt.

[A]

That's true. So it's pretty low rent. So, you know, I understand. But, guys, that brings us to the conclusion of another episode of Confessions. As always, if you want to snitch on your friends, friends and family, just make sure the scam is [e-mail] and if you want to find me and my shenanigans, D I V A L A C I Diva Lacey on all platforms. And if you would like to find

[B]

me Priscilla Davies, you can find me Priscilla Daviesactor on IG and Q O T Desert on TikTok and Twitter.

[A]

Yes. All right, congregation, stay scheming.