Con-Fessions: Instacons

Summary

Scam Goddess – “Con-Fessions: Instacons”

Podcast: Scam Goddess
Host: Laci Mosley
Co-host: Priscilla Davies
Date: February 4, 2021
Episode Theme: Listener confessions about in-app Instagram (and related social) scams, wild schemes, and hilarious lessons learned in the world of online fraud.

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Episode Overview

This episode kicks off Season 2 of the listeners' favorite “Con-Fessions”—an installment where the Scam Goddess herself, Laci Mosley, and co-host Priscilla Davies read and react to true scam stories sent in by the audience. The focus this round? In-app digital deceptions, especially scams running rampant on Instagram.

With Laci and Priscilla’s signature high-spirited, playful banter, the episode delivers both comedic riffs and real warnings about Insta-frauds, sugar scammers, too-good-to-be-true offers, and how easily people can be convinced to part with real cash in pursuit of fantasy rewards.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Queen Fiona “Sugar Mama” Scam

[03:14–14:30]

• Listener Story:

  • Queen Fiona, an overnight worker, recounts being targeted on Snapchat by a supposed sugar mama (“Mummy”) who tries to get her to send money.
  • Scammer provides sob stories (“my dad died”), promises money via Cash App or PayPal, but needs Queen Fiona to “verify” with a payment or give login info.
  • Calls herself a model, claims to have a clerk, but keeps dodging real proof and pressures for a $20 verification.

• Host Analysis and Jokes:

  • Laci and Priscilla joke about the cultural context, point out every red flag (sob stories, weird platforms, fake screenshots), and roast the scammer’s weak effort.
  • The recurring theme: If someone asks you for money so they can send you money, it’s a scam.

• Memorable Quotes:

  • “Who is telling somebody their daddy died on Snapchat? That’s an inappropriate medium.” — Laci [08:07]
  • “That’s why it’s called PayPal. It’s the friend of paying. It’s the pal.” — Laci [12:58]
  • “You don’t need my login to send me money. That’s not how PayPal works!” — Priscilla [12:48]
  • “If someone hits you up and they’re telling you they want to give you money, but you have to give them money first...guys, it’s always a scam.” — Laci [15:04]

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2. Madeline’s $600 Instagram Veggie Disaster

[15:54–26:13]

• Listener Story:

  • “Madeline,” a Boston college student, tries to buy vegetables via Instagram.
  • Receives a video of her order, then gets an email requesting a $400 “insurance fee,” refundable upon delivery.
  • Pays via Bitcoin; is then threatened for an additional $3,000 to avoid “authorities” holding her veggies.
  • Turns to her sister's law school boyfriend, who immediately spots the scam. She loses $600 total but avoids the bigger loss.

• Host Analysis and Jokes:

  • Laci and Priscilla can’t help but laugh in disbelief at paying $400+ for vegetables—but shift to empathy and advice.
  • Discussion about red flags: The first one is enough—“If you see one, you’re done.”
  • Reflection on gullibility: There’s no shame—gullible people often assume the best in others.

• Memorable Quotes:

  • “Whole Foods ain’t ever asked you to give them $400 to hold some goddamn vegan tofu.” — Laci [20:57]
  • “If veggies is a euphemism for cocaine, I support this. But if it’s not, don’t let me catch you in these streets, Madeline!” — Priscilla [22:20]
  • “650 dollars on vegetables, baby? Madeline, I’m gonna give you some homework…listen to more episodes because it’s clear you weren’t listening thoroughly enough before.” — Priscilla [25:02]
  • “If this was really about kale, baby girl…” — Laci [25:41]

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3. The Instagram “Creative Tester” PayPal Scam

[26:22–33:54]

• Listener Story:

  • An artist with a new business account sees Instagram ads promising free art supplies in exchange for “creative testing.”
  • She’s asked to fill out a Google Docs form including full name, age, PayPal and Amazon Prime details.
  • The language and demands set off warning bells (“Doesn’t have to be your prime account!” with a weird yellow emoji, etc.).

• Host Analysis and Jokes:

  • Laci and Priscilla explain how anyone can buy Instagram ads (“Mark Zuckerberg don’t care as long as the money green.” — Laci [30:50]).
  • Dive deep on how scammers build false legitimacy—Google Doc forms, urgency, “just fill it out once,” etc.
  • Advice about in-app shopping and digital security: Don’t click, don’t fill out forms, and always check comments for red flags.

• Memorable Quotes:

  • “They just want anyone’s Amazon Prime account!” — Laci [29:43]
  • “Let’s not forget how QAnon got popping on Facebook… Mark Zuckerberg don’t care as long as the money green.” — Laci [30:50]
  • “If they block comments, run. That’s your first red flag.” — Priscilla [32:01]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On scam red flags:

  • “The first red flag, just leave on the first red flag. Don’t wait for more. Because there’s always more.” — Laci [17:27]
  • “It’s in the details, honestly.” — Priscilla [12:40]

• On in-app payment scams:

  • “Bitcoin is for internet exchanges that usually involve crime.” — Laci [21:14]

• On the artistry of Insta-scammers:

  • “If you see one disgruntled comment on a page—look into that. A lot of times it’ll be the one they didn’t catch.” — Laci [32:01]

• On living dangerously with passwords:

  • “Apple always trying to make up a password...It’s like, how am I going to remember that?” — Laci [13:15]

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Host Takeaways & Advice

[33:25–33:54]

• Unsubscribe from all newsletters or offers after a purchase—they exist only to sell, not to help you.
• Don’t trust in-app ads or unsolicited offers on Instagram; always do outside research.
• When you want to buy something, seek it out yourself—“Don’t let people sell shit to you. Go out and buy when you want to buy.” — Laci [33:43]

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Conclusion

The episode is a hilarious, relatable warning against Instagram (and other app-based) scams, emphasizing the need for skepticism, independence, and not letting digital hype or sales pressure cloud good judgment. Laci and Priscilla use humor and real-world examples to arm followers of the “Con-gregation” with skepticism and a sense of fun—and remind us that in the world of true con, the best defense is information (and a little bit of side-eye).

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Episode Highlights with Timestamps

• 00:14 – Introduction, season kickoff, and light Facebook roast
• 03:14 – Queen Fiona’s sugar mama scam tale
• 07:45 – Spotting scammer sob stories and payment requests
• 15:54 – Madeline’s expensive Instagram veggie fail
• 17:27 – The importance of red flags
• 21:14 – Dangers of paying with Bitcoin for non-crime stuff
• 26:22 – Art supply creative tester scam and Google Doc red flags
• 30:50 – Why you can’t trust Instagram ads
• 32:01 – Tips for spotting scam ads (comments, blocked reviews)
• 33:25 – Laci’s anti-spam, anti-scam buying philosophy

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As Laci always says: Stay schemin'!

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Transcript

[A]

What's poppin? My secret Stitcher. Congregation, it is me, Lacey Moseley, and

[B]

your co host, Priscilla Davies.

[A]

And we are back for season two, season two of season two, season two of the show. Season two, season two of the show dot Season two of the season two confessions. And what's Confessions, guys, this is where we read your personal listener letters, where you snitch on your friends and family and tell us all the crimes you've been a part of or adjacent to or cattycorner to live on the air. Yes, yes, yes. Only on Stitcher Premium. I guess I don't have to drop no ass. Y' all already here, huh? Yes. I'm so excited to do a season two of this. I'm so excited to have Priscilla as my co host again. Yes, honey.

[B]

Hello, congregation. I am very pleased to be back for season two as well. In addition to hence too for with.

[A]

So we're gonna get straight into it. Priscilla. Oh, so this woman actually gave us a name. She wants to go by Queen Fiona. Okay, like from Shrek.

[B]

That's.

[A]

I forgot that this first episode is dedicated to in app robbery. So we're gonna be talking about the Instagram frauds, the Facebook SC games. Mostly Instagram schemes on this one.

[B]

Not surprised.

[A]

But we have time. Maybe we'll go back for a special Facebook day. Facebook is. It's. You be on Facebook, Priscilla.

[B]

I do be on Facebook. However, I have to say, lately my time's been getting. I feel like I say this every goddamn season.

[A]

You do, and you be lying. Facebook, be on Facebook. Be on Priscilla. Priscilla, be on Facebook.

[B]

No, that was accurate.

[A]

The first time Plymouth Rock landed on Priscilla. Facebook landed on Priscilla. Priscilla, be on Facebook with the hands if y' all want to.

[B]

You mean the fingers? Thank you. I wrote that myself.

[A]

Fingers, spicy fingers. Just, like, titillating, you know? So good.

[B]

The drags, the reads, the everything in between.

[A]

But I love Facebook because Facebook is like, I don't know, it's like all your cousins, you know, the cousins that you don't see very often but are just like, have crazy ass lives. Like, I have a cousin, I went to his wedding and why did they have a wedding countdown timer? And these niggas were late. So I was like, why you gotta sit in the church? And this a countdown timer happening now we know the wedding's supposed to be happening and none of y' all n are here. Like, this is rude. And then while my cousin show up and he had a Bluetooth speaker in his ear, I was like, sir, are you gonna Take a call during the wedding. Like, what is this? He was trying to flex. I guess that he had a Bluetooth speaker. I'm like, my nigga. Like, first of all, we know you got that from your job. Second of all, are you gonna take a call from the cable company during the wedding? Like, why do you have this in your ear?

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Ghetto fabulous. So let's get into it. Our first listener letter comes from Queen Fiona. She says, hey, love the show. Been listening for a couple months while I'm at work. I work overnights. Mm. We love an overnight worker.

[B]

Do we?

[A]

Somebody gotta work at night.

[B]

Oh, yes. Shout out to the night owls.

[A]

I feel like I'm an overnight worker.

[B]

Mm. Couldn't be me.

[A]

Even though I set my own hours. Like, at night, I'm just, like, percolating. I'm like, mm.

[B]

Well, you know, they say that, you know, nighttime, for some people, it's like, the only time they can get peace.

[A]

Cause ain't nobody around running around and shit. The squirrels go to bed outside my window. Cause you know, when this comes out, we will still be in the Ponderosa. In the Pondery. Play. In the pancetta.

[B]

The pantomime.

[A]

In the pantomime.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

In the Peter Piper had a pickle pepper. And so I've been keeping up with my squirrels movements. So at night, they be.

[B]

You have to. You have to track them. They do.

[A]

My mom said they're violent.

[B]

Oh. I was held hostage by a squirrel once in college. It's not a lie. And it's very scary and sad. We lost a few that day. Deadass.

[A]

Yo, that reminds me when I was attacked by these coyote deer. Anyway, we go, what? It was a coyote or a deer. So I'll be calling it a coyote deer. Anyway, let's get into it. Cause I know y' all like, okay, y', all, it's four minutes, and y' all gonna talk about it or no?

[B]

Yes, we will.

[A]

We will. So this scammer would like to be referred to as Queen Fiona from Shrek in honor of the scammer that tried. She says, emphasis on tr. To scam me.

[B]

Oh. She was like, I wish they would. And they did.

[A]

So it says, okay, I got a friend request on Snapchat saying, this lady. So Snapchat, first of all, Snapchat, big scam app. Only thing I do on Snapchat is thirst trapping. And I go get the filters, and then I put them on Instagram.

[B]

I love it. Shout out to cross apping. It's like my favorite thing.

[A]

You Got to. Cause Snapchat still got the popping filters. Instagram's trying. The girls are trying over there. But Snapchat still has the moratorium on, like, just the hottest filters. And you can do Snapchat on Snapchat, which is a scam in itself if you can send money for pics on an app.

[B]

Scam.

[A]

So it says this woman reached out on Snapchat and added me, like, for a quick ad. So I'm like, okay, maybe we have some friends in common.

[B]

I'm cool.

[A]

Getting to know someone new. Okay. Sies. I know you a scammer. You was already, like, strangers, no dangers. I'm currently writing this at almost 5:00am Eastern time. Okay.

[B]

I love.

[A]

I love when y' all give it to me right as it happens. I want it fresh. I was added and added around midnight Eastern. Okay. So this lady, let's call her Margot since she wanted to be called Mummy.

[B]

What?

[A]

She wanted to be called Mummy.

[B]

Like, which kind of mummy? The British kind?

[A]

M u m M Y.

[B]

Or like.

[A]

Like da mummy coming out of a coffin? Yeah, the sarcophagus.

[B]

That could be a British mummy too. You know, they use.

[A]

Yeah, a mummy. Yeah. They got weird names over there. Y' all know I always drag the British fans. I love y'. All. Honestly, I'm jealous. Cause if I was a black Brit, I would be probably like, even more elite.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

People love black Brits, do they?

[B]

Not black Americans. Black Americans drag black Brits.

[A]

Yeah, but white Americans be giving them all our jobs.

[B]

Oh, that's a fact.

[A]

All the civil rights movies, anything about a black American hero, it's normally a British person playing it. I'm like, I am Confusion.

[B]

Yes, I will. I.

[A]

It's me, Martin Luther King. King here to lead the blacks to freedoms. I'm like, what is this?

[B]

You're right.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

They're stealing our jobs.

[A]

We sound. We sound like. We sound like the Trump supports. Like they're stealing our jobs. But they are stealing.

[B]

They actually are, though.

[A]

Those are our jobs. Okay. We're the descendants of slaves. We got it in our DNA.

[B]

But we are the descendants of slaves

[A]

as well as well, in addition to. Yeah, we was free before you. But listen. So I love black Brits, though. I love you guys. So she wanted to be called Mummy or whatever. She came in my messages like, I'm 29. Okay. So she says, I'm 29. I live in San Diego, mind you. I'm on the East coast. In what?

[B]

I'm 29. I live in San Diego, mind you. I'm in the East Coast. On the east coast. In Florida. So she's bicoastal.

[A]

I'm glad you can read because I was confused.

[B]

It was a lot happening in that sentence, but I realized she's talking, she's writing, the way she speaks.

[A]

Okay? And bear with us, because we are reading your letters. So if y' all send us in some illiterate ass shit, like, we just gonna have to read it that way. So it says, I'm looking for a sugar baby. Someone I can talk to. This is Mummy, to calm me down, et cetera, et cetera. You know, sugar stuff. You know, sugar stuff.

[B]

I'm already interested.

[A]

Honestly, I know I wanna be a sugar stuff. What's going on? She says she's a model and travels a lot. Tells me she's got a dead dad that died last year. Okay, come on. Sob story.

[B]

And that is right there. Once the sob story. It's like, I just met you. I don't need to know all these details about your daddy dying last night.

[A]

Oh, so we on Snapchat. Who is telling somebody they daddy died on Snapchat? That's an inappropriate medium, you know? Okay, that's like me getting on Venmo and then Venmo and somebody be like, thanks for the pizza. Also, my dad died. Like, that's not. You shouldn't do. Like.

[B]

Doesn't line up.

[A]

Not the medium for that. No. So it says. So I'm like, weird flex, but okay. This is Queen Fiona. Says I've been targeted by sugar daddies, but never a sugar mama. Let me see where this leads now.

[B]

I mean, honestly, I'm not mad at her. If I was targeted by a sugar mama, I'd look at the documents before I said no, right? I'd take a look. I'd be like, hmm. What does this contract say?

[A]

Let me worry about my lawyers. I might be interested. So it says. So I'm asking all the important questions. What do you look like? Send me a snap so I know that you're real. What's the money gonna look like? Hey, where the money reside?

[B]

Where the money res with a money reside? Okay.

[A]

I love black people. How you who that song Mary Had a Little Lamb.

[B]

That's my favorite part of the whole goddamn thing. Of course it's not. Mary Had a Little Lamb. Of course.

[A]

For all you wonderful whites listening, if you haven't heard of, this is a Twitter man who works for Greater Honda, and he likes to pop out of trunks in very tight pants. And he's like, make up Songs. And he's like, I got them good deals for you. He's wonderful. Look up where the money reside and have a good. So it says. She's like, okay, how are you real? What's the money looking like? How you gonna get it to me? She sends a pic, not a snap. Then she says, I'm gonna send it on cash app. And in parentheses, Queen Fiona says, crime time. And you know, cash app is crime time. You listen to the show or PayPal. And then she says, more secure crime time. Which is true. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna send you my cash app and get the money right. That's how I know this should be right. Like, I send you the cash app. Get the money right. You right, girl. You right, Queen Fiona. So no, she is so scammer. And as soon as she said, my accounting clerk has to verify me, I'm like, scam alert, scam alert. So. So I was like, I'm a waste her time. It's early in the morning for me. I'm not going to sleep anytime soon.

[B]

I mean, it's only 5:00am She's.

[A]

I mean, now she worked the night shift. So that's the beginning of the night shift, okay? So she says, I need to enable Bitcoin, my cash app. And I said, I can't do that. They want all this info and I ain't got it. Yes, girl, you don't have the info. So then she says, well, send $20 to my clerk. I said, I only have $2 to my name. Smart. Don't give her no money.

[B]

That's why she's looking for a sugar mama. You're asking a lot, mama.

[A]

Right? And I said, my birthday is tomorrow, which was true. So I tell mummy Margot that I don't have the money. Then she keeps insisting, saying that she got money and she don't need to scam me. And how she's a woman like me and doesn't mean me any harm. I don't know,

[B]

just. Cause it doesn't add up. Mommy, you're not a woman like me. You're supposed to be the one helping a bitch out like me.

[A]

You was supposed to be sugaring me and fostering me.

[B]

We're not on the same level. That's a false equivalency.

[A]

And you over here talking about you need $20 and you got a clerk. Nigga, if you got a clerk, why the clerk ain't figuring out the. I don't have a clerk and I can figure out cash app by myself, okay?

[B]

And can't you just borrow 20 from your clerk?

[A]

So I'm like.

[B]

I'm like, what the fuck? What is he good for?

[A]

So I'm like, I'm a young single mother of color, and you, ma', am, claim to be a model of alabaster. You're funny. So you say you're a model of alabaster who travels the world. We are not the same. Then I go on to weave her a very true and tragic tale of my life from personal experience, and she says that she feels bad for me. So now I'm like, okay, well, how bad do you feel for me? Bad enough to stop telling me to send you $20 and telling me I'm gonna 10 to 20 minutes later. Nope, Margot didn't feel that bad for you, girl. She even went as far as sending screenshots of how someone else's confirmation of the money, like, basically being like, somebody else got the money. Like, all you gotta do is send this 20, and then I' ma send you money. I'm assuming this was photoshopped.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

Because that's the scammer's best friend. Oh, you listen to the show? I love it. And a screenshot of the info portion of her cash app, which she said she didn't have access to, had different timestamps, and none of them were the time that we were talking at. Okay. So she's like, oh, I sent you a screenshot of my cash app that I don't have. Like, this girl is lying. Lying. And you knew that?

[B]

Yeah. And, like, if you're gonna send scamming shit, like, documents, make sure they're, like, the right dates, the right time.

[A]

Right? You know, details, guys.

[B]

It's in the details. Honestly.

[A]

So once I realized that she was headstrong on the $20 being sent or giving my PayPal login, I told her about the goddess.

[B]

Well, PayPal login. You got me all the way fucked up. You gotta be kidding me. My PayPal login. You crazy bitch.

[A]

Like, you don't need my login to send me money. That's not how PayPal works.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's why it's called PayPal. It's the friend of paying. It's the pal. And you don't have to log in the fuck to get money.

[B]

Not to mention that's also my email account. That's my Amazon account. That's all of my. Cause I use the same damn password when they tell me not to.

[A]

I do, too. And they'd be like, this password's unsafe. And I'd be like, and literally, I guess we living on the edge, bitch. Okay? They be like, listen, Apple always trying to make up a password. Like, ABCD 221-33-459 says two seven special characters, exclamation Rig 777, 924. And it's like, how am I gonna remember that?

[B]

How? And then they tell you, make sure you don't write it down because someone might steal. Like, I am not okay with any of this, Apple.

[A]

I mean, if you use invented Apple passwords, you want some different shit. You are different. Because I can't do that shit. Okay? I'm still using what? Mother's maiden car and favorite pet? Honey, they gonna get me.

[B]

I'm just using my name. That's it. Just my name and a number one. At the end,

[A]

I'm using 1, 2, 3, 4. We don't have time for this, okay? So she realized she's super headstrong about getting this $20 sent or giving her PayPal login. So she said, I told her about the goddess and how you taught me well.

[B]

Aww.

[A]

Yes. You listen to the shows and how she needed to step her game up because it ain't working over here. Then promptly send her the link to your podcast on Spotify. And I haven't heard from her since. I hope you enjoy this letter. Keep doing what you're doing.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

I love that you promoted the show. At the end. You was like, also listen to this. Now you go help her get better.

[B]

Okay? She's actually listening right now. Mommy, I have a few things I'd like to say.

[A]

Speak directly to Mommy.

[B]

Mommy, can I will take your deal. Actually, My password is priscilla1. That's it. All lowercase.

[A]

Rob me, please. Oh, my God. Yes. I love it. I love that there's a little note test at the end. Sorry if that was a rocky ride because I'm reading Yalls letters. This letter had a lot of personalities. So, Queen Fiona, we love you. This was.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You know, I had to figure out your voice, sis, but yes. So if someone hits you up and they're telling you they want to give you money, but you have to give them money first. Guys, it's always a scam. When people send you money, they just send you money. That's it.

[B]

Especially a sugar mama. Like, that's your role. That's your only role.

[A]

It's the sugar.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

And then maybe I eat your box. But like. But, like, first you should.

[B]

But that's not her role. That's.

[A]

You see, we all have a part to play.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

My bank account gets blessed. Your, you know, lips get kissed.

[B]

I don't. We don't need to go in the. That's in the contract. I'll read that later.

[A]

That's the fine print. Is that the fine print? That has to be in bold.

[B]

That's definitely in different color.

[A]

Right, so let's move on to the next letter. I need a name for this person.

[B]

Let's go with Madeline.

[A]

Okay, Madeline. Madeline says, hey, girl, I'm a college student in Boston, and boy, am I mad.

[B]

Damn, she comes in hot.

[A]

Okay, Madeline. I found this veggie guy on Instagram and started to snap him because I wanted to buy some veg, you know? Okay. I don't know.

[B]

I do not.

[A]

I ain't never been on Instagram and been like, ooh, that purple carrot looks good.

[B]

Let me dm. I mean, also, I used to be a vegan, and I. I still don't understand what's happening here.

[A]

You like a pesca fishitin now, right?

[B]

I'm a pesca milkitin. Cause I do dairy now.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Pesca daritin.

[A]

I don't do milk, but I do butter.

[B]

Okay, that's definitely milk, but go ahead. I mean, I'm not drinking milk. I mean, like, who's. Some people. Do some people drink milk?

[A]

That's wild. White people love a hot glass of milk. At least that's what TV told me before bed.

[B]

That's what they told me, too, and I believe it.

[A]

So she was trying to order these veggies online. You know, we don't know, but we gonna ride with you, sis says. After I ordered them, the guy says, I'll drop it off tomorrow. And everything seemed fine. Oh, boy, was I wrong. Then this guy goes, I'm sending it straight from the store. After he had sent me a video of my stuff labeled with my name on it, as if he had it himself and was gonna drop it off personally, although I was a little suspicious, I went with it anyway.

[B]

See, right there? That is you not listening to the red flags. The little voice that gets literally paid to keep you out of danger.

[A]

And I think that we have always talked about red flags as a culture and a society as something that it's like, ooh, this is a weird moment to take note of. The first red flag is go leave on the first red flag.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

Don't wait for more. Because there's always more. Just know if you see one flag, there will be more.

[B]

All Ways always. It's like a universal truth. It's basically like God, if you believe in that type of thing, it's basically like God literally being like, baby girl, go ahead and get your stuff and go, because this ain't good for you.

[A]

This ain't good for you. Leave asaptually. Asapture. So there's no such thing as red flags with the S. It's just we see one, you. It's done.

[B]

One and done.

[A]

And I think as we get older and as I've gotten older, I've learned to trust that. Because when I was younger, I was like, I don't know. Let me scarf past this one flag. Let me do the limbo. And then I was like, okay, maybe it'll be good on the other side. And then it's never been good on the other side.

[B]

You literally, like, go through one door, and it's, oh, oh, there's another flag right here.

[A]

Oh, okay. In my face. So, guys, when you see it, don't do it. So it says, unfortunately, I'm extremely gullible and have been scammed many times before.

[B]

I don't blame this. I, too. I'm a gullible person. We all are, you know, So I understand. I'm embarrassed about some of the things I've believed in my life. So I get it, girl.

[A]

And also, there's no shame in being gullible, because obviously, gullible people have the most fun. Cause sometimes you turn that alleyway, and it's some good times down there. Sometimes you get hit in the head,

[B]

you know, I've been in both situations worth the ride. Also, you know what truly gullible people really are? People who just believe the best in others, right?

[A]

And are having a good time. And normally when you're gullible, you have a.

[B]

My life has been fantastic, right?

[A]

And then sometimes you have a bad time, but it's like, I.

[B]

A little dangerous as well.

[A]

Chalk that one up.

[B]

It was just a red flag.

[A]

So it says, then I get an email from customer service from this cargo company saying that I need to pay a $400 insurance fee that is refundable in parentheses so that they don't open my package. What?

[B]

For some fucking veg?

[A]

For some veggies. Veggies. Ain't no veggies worth 400 unless you watching Bling Ring, whatever that thing is on Netflix they got. Apparently there's some stores where the. The Chinese foods that are worth, like, fifteen hundred dollars.

[B]

Bling Empires.

[A]

Yeah, Bling Empire. Oh, they was on there. They had Some for some SOUP that was $15,000.

[B]

Well, that's that like, that's that like high end bougie.

[A]

I never tasted no fifteen thousand dollar soup.

[B]

They always do some special like that. It's like, you know, like, oh, this is. This is from the horns of a mature centaur.

[A]

This is the unicorn head from the unicorn. Okay. I guess. Child, I need to get in that business. If I could sell a random piece of something for $15,000. I just got off an animal that's lit.

[B]

Just got off an animal.

[A]

So it says. Oh, no. She says, I went along with it, baby,

[B]

I don't even wanna read the rest of this shit, girl.

[A]

She says, okay, it's steep, but I could afford it, especially if they were going to refund upon delivery. I messaged my guy about it and he said, oh, yeah, that's normal. Don't worry about it. Of course he's. Girl, girl, Whole Foods ain't ever asked you to give them $400 to hold some goddamn vegan tofu. Like, what is this?

[B]

I don't. And it's not even tofu, bitch. You getting straight up vegetable vegetables from the earth.

[A]

From the earth with a F. Oh my God. I'm not gonna judge you, sis. Cause I have not been here. But we've all been there, okay? So I'm not gonna judge you. So it says that I sent the insurance through bitcoin. That's how I paid for the veggies. Now, baby girl, if you're paying for things in bitcoin, you need to know. Bitcoin is for Internet exchanges that usually involve crime. You pay for acid with bitcoin, you pay for. Like, you don't pay for veggies. You pay for that with American US dollars, Bab. Anyway, she said everything seemed to be okay. And then I got an email that was like, yo, the cops are coming for you if you don't send us 3K right now.

[B]

Yes, yes, I hope you did. Cause you deserve it.

[A]

This took a turn. Basically, they said that the package was held back by the authorities and they needed money to pay for legal fees so that they could send the veggies without the authorities getting involved. Baby girl, I was scared. They're vegetable, okay?

[B]

Baby girl, you could have motherfucking bought some. Some seeds, planted some seeds, watered them bitches, grown your own goddamn garden before.

[A]

Are you lying to us? Is this really not veggies? Were you buying a brick of Colombian cocaine? Because I'm starting to not understand why you were paying so much for veggies. And why these people thought that you would pay $3,000 for vegetables.

[B]

I'm gonna say this is. If veggies is a euphemism for cocaine, I support this. But if it's not, don't let me catch you in these streets, Madelaine.

[A]

Cause, Madelaine, I'm gonna try to rob you too, girl. God damn.

[B]

And it will be hard. And there it is. And that. You know what? That is really the key to all this. When she said I could afford. That's why you did this, baby girl. Cause money don't mean nothing to you. It don't.

[A]

You was in the Ponderosa. Like, I'll give the girls some donations.

[B]

Okay, 400. Now we talking. 3K.

[A]

She in the piccolo. Like, oh, I just really feel for everyone involved.

[B]

Okay, let me go ahead and just spread some of the joy and the love that I have in my wallet.

[A]

So he said, I was scared. I called my guy like, what the hell? What is going on? And can you imagine? He was like, oh, my God. This happened to my friend before. But don't worry, we just have to send it ASAP. I'll even help you. Oh, I'll send them 1k if you can get the rest and then just refund me when you get refunded. I then went to my older sister because I sure as hell don't have any kind like that kind of money.

[B]

Oh, now you don't have money, Madeline?

[A]

You have $400 for vegetables, though.

[B]

But you don't have 2,000 to link up with another person's thousand.

[A]

This is dedication to veganism.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

And she said, oh, my God, dude, what have you done? She called her law school boyfriend, who immediately was like, this is a scam. All caps. Suddenly everything started to make sense. The guy brushed me out.

[B]

Now it's starting to make sense, baby. I can't do it anymore. Madeline.

[A]

Priscilla, don't leave.

[B]

I'm getting my stuff.

[A]

Don't leave.

[B]

What's this? It's coming with me.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Now it's making sense.

[A]

Now it's making sense when I ask questions about the refunds, the bitcoin. And the cargo company that I'd been talking to is actually based in Hamburg, Germany, and had a different customer service email. I emailed them about a potential fraud and took screenshots. I'm waiting for my potential fraud arrest and feeling blessed that instead of being out of 3K, I'm just out of 600 and my pride. Thank God for lawyers, boyfriends, and scam goddess for making Me question things at this time. Stay sexy, Lacey. Okay, so. And she said you can call me dumb, stupid idiot girl on the pod. Okay, we're not gonna call you that. We're not gonna call you Madeline. We're not gonna insult you. But I will have to say, do not thank me for this. Because if you really listen to this show.

[B]

And there it is.

[A]

You wouldn't have spent a dollar.

[B]

You spent 650 of them things on vegetable.

[A]

On vegetables, baby.

[B]

You know? And there it is. Madeline, I'm gonna give you some homework. I don't know if you guys know I'm also an educator as well.

[A]

I need you to the stars.

[B]

It's true. I need you to. Excuse me. I need you to listen to more episodes because it's clear you weren't listening thoroughly enough before. I want you to write me an essay, Madeline. Of all the things you've learned after you do listen to those. Those episodes. Cause this is some wild shit. I can't believe you got scammed for vegetables.

[A]

Vegetables, baby. I hope that this is a code for drugs.

[B]

Please, please.

[A]

Cause if this was really about some nightshades. If this was really about some celeries girl.

[B]

And how much were you.

[A]

If this is really about kale, baby girl.

[B]

Another question I'd like to know is how much vegetables were you gonna get? Because they only last a week or so. So you can. I mean. And it seems like you live by yourself.

[A]

So who.

[B]

How many? 650. Baby girl.

[A]

Were you throwing a party?

[B]

A vegetable party?

[A]

Veggietales. Veggie tails. Veggietales. All right, Madeline, I'm concerned for you,

[B]

but I love you and continue to listen.

[A]

Yeah. Lord Jesus. Alright, last one. Also Instagram. I guess this is the Instagram scam episode. Now that I think about it, that makes sense.

[B]

Insta art.

[A]

Hey, Lacey, I love the show, but I won't make you read a bunch of stuff about how much I love your show. Oh, thank you. So I recently got a business account on Instagram for my emo ass drawings. So I've been getting a lot of likes from the art community, Chainmail, which actually kind of works for gaining a following. And I've been getting a lot of ads for art material. And while ago I was talking to a retired art professor and someone who's consistently worked in the more legit side of professional art told me about how art supply companies will give you a bunch of free shit if you ask and say it's for a classroom. Especially if you go to Expos if that's ever happening again. Yes, girl, you know we're in the pickle. Okay, so it's kind of a thing to get free material, especially among older professional artists. This is why when an ad came up on my Instagram to be a creative tester, I thought this could be legit. So I swiped up and gave them my email. Shortly after I got this email that linked to this. It looked legit enough that if like, I don't know, if I was like a 56 year old Barb who paints birds, I probably would have given them access to my PayPal, Amazon prime and general login info that they were asking for. My favorite part of this is that where it says it doesn't have to be your prime account and then this weird emoji uses. So let's look. I sent you the screenshots to your text.

[B]

Let's see what this is all about.

[A]

So the first page says creative testers onboarding forum. And then it says in parentheses us because they global honey. Google Doc says your application is.

[B]

Yeah, okay, this, which you know, listen, a lot of people are using Google Docs and I'm not.

[A]

I, I filled out a lot of legitimacy though.

[B]

I mean, listen, if I was on a website, if I was a scammer, I would not not be using this. But I have filled out shit legitimately from companies through Google Docs. But not if I was a scammer. I have legit from big ass companies.

[A]

Also, they are using emojis on here. There's like the hand pointing emoji, but it's yellow like the one that's like no race. It's just like the Simpsons. So it's like your application is not complete until you fill out this form. Please read carefully in full before submitting the onboarding form. Please use exactly the same, all in caps, the same email you use when registering on our website. Please do not fill out this form twice unless you are specifically asked to. This will help us review your application quicker. Thank you. I think that third one is to add legitimacy. They're like, oh, everyone's so thirsty for this stuff. Like they're filling out this form like four or five times. Girls, calm down. Only fill it out once. We only need to rob you once. So then they're like the hundred plus bands we're currently working with are blah, blah, blah. So here's some of the questions. What's your first name? Your answer, what's your last name? And these are asterisk, which means you have to answer these I hate those asterisks so much. What's your age? So the first ones are first name, last name, age. Then it goes, do you have access to an Amazon prime account? Important. You will need it to get free shipping and you don't need to own the Amazon Prime.

[B]

So you're asking me to scam within this. You're telling me I can use my sister's prime account.

[A]

They just want anyone's Amazon prime account.

[B]

But I mean, you know, like, I

[A]

love that they put that. Because it's like, even if you don't have an Amazon prime, they're like, use your moms. Right? We just want anyone's Amazon prime, please.

[B]

Desperately. We're desperate.

[A]

Then it says, what's your PayPal email address? We will need it to send you money pre purchase. Carefully Double check your PayPal email address. It would be difficult to amend it later.

[B]

I just need to reread some of this because I'm like, what is this all about? I just.

[A]

So basically, guys, anyone can pay for advertisement on Instagram. Anybody? Come on. It's Mark Zuckerberg's app. Let's not forget how QAnon got popping on Facebook. Let's not forget how every crime thing has gotten popping on Facebook. Let's not forget how the Russian bots were all up in the 2016 election. On Facebook you can buy ads. Mark Zuckerberg don't care as long as the money green. Okay, so you can't trust Instagram ads and if you like something on Instagram because normally Instagram will target you with what they've heard and how they, you know, access your brain waves while you were asleep.

[B]

Without a doubt. Sometimes I just send people to sleep with you and listen to what you say in your dreams.

[A]

So guys, you have to look, look at the comments, look at what's happening. Like, don't just trust that an Instagram ad is legitimate and definitely don't fill out no survey on Google Docs for nothing.

[B]

I just, what, what I'm trying to understand here though is where do they actually get the money? Because if I just give you my PayPal email, that's just my PayPal email.

[A]

Well, they got your name. That's PayPal email. And I'm sure this questionnaire is a bit longer so they can get more.

[B]

Oh, that's what that next means bottom of that page.

[A]

It's probably a lot of questions. So, guys, again, Instagram also a dangerous place. We talk about Facebook a lot, but this episode is actually really about Instagram. When I said in app. I didn't realize they were all gonna be Instagram. So let's just know that Instagram is owned by the niggas who own Facebook. It's just as dangerous and you guys need to watch out.

[B]

That's a fact. I have been almost got by some Instagram ads. But you gotta read, you gots to read the comments. And especially if they block comments, run. That's, that's your first red flag.

[A]

If they block comments or if you see like comments have been deleted or if you see like, if you see one disgruntled comment on a page, like look into that because a lot of times it'll be the one that they didn't catch. So Instagram, honestly, you don't need to buy shit off Instagram. Let's be real. They redesigned the app so that now the things that you're intuitively touching are the purchase spots. Instead of like before where like your likes and everything. Your notifications used to be at the bottom. Now that the top that's kind of like weirdly not intuitive to look there. And all the bottom things are like the things they want to sell you, like the reels and then like they're in app like purchase site. It's like Mark Zuckerberg is just trying to sell you shit and honestly just do a Google and buy what you want. Don't let Instagram sell you shit. Yep, I know it's hard.

[B]

It's hard because some of the mats be getting you. You like, oh, that's cut you. I would look good in that.

[A]

Right? And my last piece of advice for this episode is I learned this from a marketing teacher that I had who was amazing and also problematic. Unsubscribe from any website, store or any place that you ever purchased anything from as soon as you purchase. Because they will just email you or hit you up and be like, oh, we got new things, girl. Ooh, YSL's got a new bag. Don't let people sell shit to you. Go out and buy when you want to buy. Don't let Instagram sell shit to you. Go buy things when you have the impulse to buy them. Because if you allow people to sell things to you, you will consume things that you didn't necessari necessarily want to. It's a fact.

[B]

That's a fact. So that's a, that's actually a very good advice. I've been doing that lately.

[A]

Yeah, unsubscribe.

[B]

I try to unsubscribe as soon and it cuz yeah, they will spam the fuck out of you. And sometimes you keep it because you're like, oh, well, maybe one day there'll be like, a deal that I like. But the truth is, it never. There never is.

[A]

Because when you want something, trust that you'll go out and find it. If you're like, oh, I want a new shoe, I want a new bag, or, oh, I want a new technology device, you'll go get it it so you don't need people to sell things to you.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

Bye

[B]

bye.