Con-Fessions: Miscellaneous Miscreants

Summary

Scam Goddess – "Con-Fessions: Miscellaneous Miscreants"

Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Priscilla Davies
Date: April 15, 2021

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Overview

This bonus “Con-Fessions” episode features Laci Mosley and Priscilla Davies reading listener-submitted scam stories, affectionately dubbed “confessions.” With no specific theme this time (“this one does not…we’re just picking your random ass letters” – Laci, 00:31), the duo dives into a wild mix of scams and near-misses, giving running comedic commentary while unpacking each situation. From gold chain hustles to crafty retail theft, Craigslist shenanigans, restaurant subterfuge, and even a tale of black Mormons using church activities as free daycare, this episode celebrates the art of staying one step ahead (or behind) the con.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dubai Gold Chain Scam in New Orleans

(00:28–05:38)

• Listener “Drogo” recounts a run-in with a popular scam where individuals claim to be from Dubai, India, or another foreign country and offer to sell fake “gold” jewelry for travel money, usually accompanied by a “sad child in the front seat.”
• Drogo credits the Podcast with helping to dodge this scam:
  • “Your podcast saved me from getting scammed.” (Drogo via Laci, 04:31)
• Laci and Priscilla riff on confusion in Drogo’s email: “Drogo, you might be a scammer yourself. I feel scammed by this email.” (Laci, 05:34)

2. Hobby Lobby Receipt Scam: White Girl Tag-Team Edition

(05:40–10:32)

• “Carolyn” (researched as “Carlin” for the story) describes how, in high school, she and her friend (“Samantha”) exploited Hobby Lobby’s outdated systems:
  • Samantha, as a cashier, would create fake receipts for pricy items ($49.99, etc.).
  • Carolyn would shoplift these items, then return them with the receipt for cash.
  • “It’s 2003 and I’m white. This was privilege on parade.” (Carlin, read at 07:48)
• Both hosts reminisce about similar schemes:
  • “I may have been in on a couple of these back in the 90s.” (Priscilla, 07:56)
• Analysis of the risks, receipt flexibility, and splitting the money.

3. Craigslist Cashier’s Check Scam: The Overly Detailed Buyer

(10:40–19:26)

• “Gilbert” tries to sell a used mattress on Craigslist. A potential buyer:
  • Asks for personal info, claims inability to meet due to COVID, and offers to send a (fraudulent) cashier’s check for more than the purchase price, requesting the difference refunded.
  • Giant red flags: “She said she can’t come because of coronavirus. She getting married soon…starting a new life in a new city…” (Laci, 12:25)
  • The hosts mock the excessive, odd detail as a classic scam tell: “People lying will give you unnecessary details.” (Laci, 18:02)
• Language, formatting, and unnecessary personal stories in scam emails become punchlines: “‘Hello, friend. I would like to buy mattress of you.’” (Laci, 17:07)
• Hot tip: “Craigslist is a hard medium because sometimes it can be great, other times you can get robbed.” (Laci, 18:58)

4. The Chicken Wing King: Restaurant Receipt Skimming

(19:27–25:40)

• “Victor” shares a story from his time at a chicken wing buffet.
• A lower-level manager would:
  • Save old buffet receipts, hand them to cash-paying customers, then only ring in part (or none) of the items, pocketing the leftover cash.
  • Got caught because he never rang up sodas, which have huge markups, tipping off the owner.
  • “This business owner…was like, wait a minute, we’re not selling enough sodas?” (Laci, 23:18)
• Service industry observation: “When you’re a shitty employer…you set yourself up to get fucking scammed by your employees. And you deserve it.” (Priscilla, 23:15)

5. The Black Mormon Daycare Scam

(25:41–33:38)

• “Tisdale” recounts discovering that their mother and aunt were Mormon for a few years in high school, despite the family being black and the church having only recently begun admitting black members.
• The twist: The family sent the kids to Mormon activities for the free childcare.
  • “My mom’s parents found this out and saw this as a way to get out of parenting…this is definitely the 70s.” (Tisdale's story, 28:58)
  • Laci: “Yo. This is an excellent scam. All you new parents out there, you know, drop them babies off at the Mormon Church.” (30:36)
• Hilarious riffing on Mormon “track” reenactments, black families infiltrating the Latter-Day Saints for peace and quiet, and the overall absurdity of the era.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On scammy emails:
  “If you get some poorly written email, like, grammar is always the first telltale sign. Also, why is this person asking for so much information from you? Also, why are they giving you so many details?” – Laci, 18:02
• About retail team-up theft:
  “I may have been in on a couple of these back in the 90s. Where you have your one friend who worked there, and then you would come in and act like you were a customer, and then somehow y' all was all walking out with money. This is fantastic.” – Priscilla, 07:56
• Craigslist realities:
  “It's a risk that I'm always willing to take. I'm like, I may die or I may get a used futon that college students have boned on for at least three years.” – Laci, 19:08
• Parental priorities:
  “Let your kids be Mormon. Exchange for some me time. Then when they stop, just never talk about it again.” – Tisdale's story (read by Priscilla), 30:29
• Advice for would-be scammers:
  “You cannot scam on Google Translate. Do not get on Google Translate.” – Laci, 17:07

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Dubai Gold Chain Scam Story: 00:28–05:38
• Hobby Lobby Receipt Scam: 05:40–10:32
• Craigslist Mattress/Cashier’s Check Scam: 10:40–19:26
• Chicken Wing Buffet Receipt Scam: 19:27–25:40
• Black Mormon Childcare Scam: 25:41–33:38

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Language: Exuberant, irreverent, honest.
• Dynamic: Laci and Priscilla riff seamlessly, sharing personal asides and inviting listeners into a conspiratorial “con-gregation” where both caution and celebration coexist.
• Comedic Anchors: Frequent callbacks to personal experience, pop culture references (Game of Thrones, Babysitter’s Club, Hobby Lobby politics), and vivid, playful analogies.

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Conclusion & Sign-Off

The episode wraps with both hosts sharing their social handles and inviting more listener submissions—preferably, as always, “retired scams.” Laci’s rallying cry? “Stay scheming!”

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Listen if you enjoy:

• Outrageous stories of small-time hustles
• Comedic breakdowns of con artistry
• Learning the subtle (and not-so-subtle) tells of a scam
• Relatable tales of youthful (mis)adventure and family secrets

Contact for Your Own Confession: [e-mail] (just make sure your bag is retired!)

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back. Welcome back. Yeah, you have.

[B]

You don't have that song cleared, right?

[A]

So at the end, we gotta take. We gotta take some liberties here, guys. Welcome to another bonus episode of Confessions, where we read your listener letters on the air. As always, if you'd like to contribute to the show, email [e-mail]. just make sure your scam is retired so we don't up yo big. I am Lacy Mosley.

[B]

And I am Priscilla Davies, and we

[A]

are here for the mess. Guys, sometimes these episodes have themes. This one does not. All right, we're just picking your random ass letters, and we're having a good ass time and seeing what y' all are up to. Okay, let's start. We got a scam. It says, dubai's gold chain scam is popping in nola. Dubai's gold chain scam is popping in nola. New Orleans.

[B]

I love a good scam that has multiple cities within its name, right?

[A]

I'm like, where? Who are we doing this to? Where are we doing it at? We don't know. Hopefully we find out. So I'm gonna name this scammer today, Drogo. Like Kyle Drogo from Game of Thrones, which famously scammed us with the worst season finale of all time. Serious.

[B]

Serious finale. Yep.

[A]

And those two guys, what are their names? Matt and Matt. Mike and Mike.

[B]

Yeah, Matt and Matt.

[A]

Mark and Mark.

[B]

I think it was Matt and Matt.

[A]

Okay, well, Matt and Matt coming back, they got a new series that's gonna come out. People trust them to write things.

[B]

I mean, they did pret they had

[A]

books up until that.

[B]

Oh, wow. Well, they said that anyway.

[A]

What? We're not going there, right, child, we're not gonna dig up that old trauma for y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

We all know where we were when we saw the finale of Game of Thrones. I was at a Twitter party at the headquarters with T Pain. None of that makes sense.

[B]

Sounds like this scam

[A]

T. Pain came down the stairs. He said, tell them they need to put more liquor in these drinks. I don't. I hate that story. Wow. You hate my story. Well. Well, I'm hurt. So Drogo says, hey, boo, you did not start this email off with, hey, boo. All right, Drogo, I feel you. He says, my name is Drogo and I live in New Orleans. I'm originally from New Jersey by Pennsylvania.

[B]

Jersey gang, right?

[A]

This is a lie. He said, New Jersey by way of Pennsylvania.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

And I have a keen eye for scams. I'm originally from, Ooh, East Orange.

[B]

What was this the Drogo. We as cousins because I'm from South Orange.

[A]

What the hell?

[B]

This is getting weird.

[A]

Yes. So if it wasn't for your podcast that informed me about people that would say that they were from Dubai, India, or any other country that black people would know to find brown people. They said what? They say that they what?

[B]

Okay, let me read it. If it wasn't for your podcast about how you inform me about people who would say they were from Dubai, India, or any other country that black people would know where to find brown people as. Do you understand that? Like, as in, if you tell black people, you tell black people Dubai, they know there's brown people there. If you tell black people India, they know there's. It's like any country like that. Okay.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They say that they need help, usually have a child in the front seat looking sad or some shit.

[A]

Okay. They said that they don't have any money, but they have jewelry that you can buy off of them to get home. Mind you, the jewelry's fake as fuck. Just to sum this up, it finally happened to me the other day when I was walking to the bus. A man in a Ford suv. I don't know the model, girl, I'm gay. You know models are on cars. Just because you gay don't mean you can't read. Okay, but I'm start using that. I'm like, I don't know, girl, I'm gay. They're like, man, we need your social. I don't know, girl, I'm gay. We don't have those. Like what, sir? So it says a Ford SUV pulled up on me, and I was told that he was from Dubai. Me thinking it was going to make some. I was going to make the coin of a lifetime. I stopped and listened until your voice popped up in my head. Mind you, he was in a car, and I was on my way to the bus. Okay, so he had more coin than you. Uss. I was the one who needed the help. So I just wanted to thank you. Boo. Your podcast saved me from getting scammed. Okay, so you didn't actually take the jewelry in exchange for the money that they wanted you to give.

[B]

So, yeah, so what I'm gathering from this story is this is a success story that Drogo wanted to share with us about the fact that Drogo learned about this particular scam, which I think we. I don't know if you talked about it on regular Scam Goddess, but I believe we talked about this scam before the. You know, selling the. The gold chain from a Car window. So he was just letting us know, like, yo, your podcast, like, kept me out of some real live trouble.

[A]

Oh, we love that.

[B]

Respect. Respect, Drogo, Respect.

[A]

Yes, Drogo, I'm glad that you didn't get robbed. I wish you could have done some of the robbing. It seems like these people were a little better off than you. At least you had assessed. So I'm sorry that you didn't get to take some things with you. Thank you for being here, Priscilla. Because I was not gonna be able to read Drogo's email. We got to that very confusing point. I was like, drogo, I don't know

[B]

what you're talking about, baby.

[A]

You know when you go to India and you black and also brown, and then sometimes Dubai, and I'm in New Orleans, but I came from Pennsylvania by way of Orange, New Jersey.

[B]

You know the oranges, right?

[A]

Yeah. Drogo, you might be a scammer yourself. I feel scammed by this email.

[B]

I'm pretty sure this is a scam email.

[A]

Cause. Well, let's move on from Drogo. Let's see what I'm gonna name this person. Carolyn.

[B]

Carolyn.

[A]

Priscilla. Do you want to see what's up with Carolyn?

[B]

Let's see what's up with. You know. Did you see that meme that says white people, Carolyn. Black people, Curlin.

[A]

Carlin.

[B]

Carlin. Okay, let's see what's up with Carlin. Hello. I recently discovered Scam Goddess, and your podcast has cleared up my skin. I love it.

[A]

You do guarantee that you have a no money back guarantee?

[B]

100%. So, anyway, when I was listening to episode 70, thank you for the details there, I got real nervous. Someone had beat me to the punch sharing this scam with you. But it seems that Hobby Lobby is just a big old awful mark. Abortion is healthcare.

[A]

And as we talk about. Fuck Hobby Lobby, they said that, listen, you can have a lot of hobbies, but abortion will not be one of them. You.

[B]

No, no, no. They gave them a tumbo. No, no, no. Okay.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, y', all, if you need an abortion, go out there and get you one, okay? Don't worry about Hobby Lobby. They won't cover it, though. So maybe don't work for them. Cause they're trash. Okay?

[B]

So back in high school, my girlfriend. Any character's name from the Babysitter's Club will do. We are white women who were born in the mid-80s. Okay, what's babysitter's Club's names? Like Samantha.

[A]

There's gotta be A Samantha. Let's just go with Samantha.

[B]

Okay. So her girlfriend Samantha worked as a checker at Hobby Lobby. Since that store is stuck in the 50s and didn't believe in gay rights or updating POS machines, she would print out receipts noting sales of $49.99, $59.99, $69.99, et cetera. I then go around the store and shoplift items with those price points. It's 2003 and I'm white. This was privilege on parade, mostly. Really nice paint brushes. They were easy to swipe and pricey. Then when she wasn't working, I would go in and return the items unused with the receipt and walk out with the kizash.

[A]

Wow. This is what I'm talking about. Now, were you splitting this cash with your homegirl? You had to have been. This has to be a split.

[B]

I know this bitch is a white girl from the mid-80s because I used to. I had friends who were white girls from the mid-80s and these, like, tag team scams. I may have been in on a couple of these back in the 90s. Okay. Where you have your one friend who worked there, and then you would come in and act like you were a customer, and then somehow y' all was all walking out with money. This is fantastic.

[A]

Yes. And also, I think that you deserve a little bit more of the split just because you're taking a little bit more of the risk here by being the thief. But, you know, she's also scamming her job, which is her place of employment. So y' all are both taking risks. Hopefully y' all split the money equitably.

[B]

50. 50, I think is cool.

[A]

Yeah, I think you're right. Because the one person has the end and they're taking the risk of their job, and then the other. Yeah, yeah, you're right. 50. 50. I'm wrong. Don't get greedy. Okay. I love this skeptic. So did they have to pick up the exact items on the receipt? Probably. Right. Well.

[B]

Oh, well, what is that? She would print out receipts noting sales of. I mean, did she put. Was it just. They didn't explain that.

[A]

And why did it need to be 49.99? 69, 99.

[B]

Okay. So because they were basically. They were using, like, an old system, so it probably was one of those things where they didn't have to be sitting there. Like, you know, they kind of were in control. I don't know.

[A]

They probably weren't scanning the item's barcodes when they returned them.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because if they were, they would know, right? She said they had no technology up in this hobby lobby.

[B]

That's probably how she got away with this. Yeah, yeah, that's basically it.

[A]

They said, we have a lobby and we have lobbies. We do not have technology.

[B]

I think these are just fake receipts.

[A]

No, they real. She said they was real. Cause they have to be real. Cause the money has. The money had to be exchanged, right? Or no.

[B]

No. So she prints out a fake made up receipt and then the girl just finds out. She just goes out there and gets the amount that adds up to that.

[A]

Clever. Are they including tax and that?

[B]

And that's, you know, it depends on what state they're in because some states don't have sales tax.

[A]

Either way, I love this.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you so much for this, Carol Carlin. We love.

[A]

We love a old timey friend scam. Y' all. Like the sisterhood of the traveling scams.

[B]

Babysitter club as well.

[A]

Yes. Y' all come back to each other, y'. All Babysitting Hobby lobby. And by babysitting, I mean stealing from them. Yes. Okay, so the next one that we have here, oh, they got some facts about this. We got an email. We got. Got some. Some scam materials. Exhibit A, B and C. Okay, I'm into this. All right, so we got another scam. This is from. I'm gonna call this person Gilbert.

[B]

Gilbert. That's my car's name.

[A]

That's what you named her car?

[B]

Well, Gilbert.

[A]

French Gilbert. Okay, it sounds better in French. Gilbert sounds a lot better than Gilbert. If my name was Gilbert, nobody could ever call me Gilbert. Okay, it's your bear, she'll bear. And you better put the L on there. Party of two. That's how I want people to say it. Get that guttural sound in your throat. So it says, hi, Lacey. The email below made me laugh and I wanted to pass it along. I posted a king size mattress on Craigslist and this person emailed to ask if I was the original owner. It seemed like a legit question, so I responded yes. Then she sent me the message below. Long story short, she claimed she will send me a cashier's check.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

I'm guessing the scam is that the amount is higher than the item's price and that she will ask me to reimburse the difference before I find out the check is. Yeah, you on to the scams. Her rationale for this elaborate plan is funny. She says she can't travel due to coronavirus, but she's also getting married Soon. A lot of details. We always talk about that. Why are people giving you as many details when you're just trying to get them to buy the mattress that all your old skin cells are on?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

You just trying to sell them your mattress that you done boned to death.

[B]

Okay. Dog done peed all up in there.

[A]

That's my all times. You put a black light on a mattress. Who we child? Probably not good. Y'. All. If you can. Don't buy your mat.

[B]

Yeah. You really shouldn't. Like, I mean now of course sometimes you need to.

[A]

Right? And that's okay if you do. I don't know, flip it. Febreze it. Maybe steam it down.

[B]

Leave it outside for now. Yeah.

[A]

Do pray over it at least. Sage it. You don't want that person demons jumping up inside your body.

[B]

That's why you're asleep. Hell no.

[A]

In fact, I. Me and Priscilla have a service. If you. If you buy a used mattress, we'll come over and get the demons out and clean it for you.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Phenomenal feat.

[B]

Absolutely. We really. For whatever you have.

[A]

Yeah. We decide to feed once we enter your place. We look around and we're like, what can they afford? You know, it's a needs based system. So let's see this letter that we got. Okay, but before we see the letter, let me get through the rest of the excuses that she gave. So she said she was. Couldn't come to get the mattress because of coronavirus. She getting married soon. Don't care about coronavirus while you get married. Okay. And also starting a new life in a new city. And so she has a delivery service ready to pick up the mattress and she's gonna pay me extra to hold it. All right. You got a delivery service to pick up your mattress, but you can't afford a mattress.

[B]

A new one. You okay? You're. You're getting married soon. How are you paying for that, ma'? Am?

[A]

Look, she said she spent all the money on a marriage. She ain't got time for the married bed.

[B]

Okay. I. I just. I feel like you should have put a mattress in your moving to a new city budget.

[A]

Right? Or at least on your wedding gift registry.

[B]

Something.

[A]

Maybe have a little gofundme for that. Like y' all help us get a mattress so that we could consummate this again, this wedding.

[B]

So we don't have no damn bastards. Okay.

[A]

We need some place to. Would. Would you guys mind contributing to our marriage bed? I feel like you could put that on the gofundme. Yeah. So she lying Line. Anyway, so here is the. The email that she responded on Craigslist, which first of all is formatted in a very strange way. Is this skewed left? What is this right?

[B]

Well, is this adjusted? It's clear that this has been photocopied several hundred times.

[A]

Right. They didn't even bother putting the formatting back. So it says hello, space, space. Thanks for your quick response. We are very interested and. Okay, now we have an enter. So we've entered. And now we're on a different line. Just want you guys to be reading it as I am. And okay with the price, but sorry I wouldn't be able to come down to your location due to the Coronavirus COVID 19 in parentheses, just in case you don't know what it is, just

[B]

in case you're not sure because I know some people have been calling it Covid. Some people call it Corona, the Pantyprovi.

[A]

The Ponderosa Poom.

[B]

Pondery play.

[A]

Okay. The Piper Po. So it says, look, I can't come due to your location and the coronavirus outbreak. Also, my partner and I are getting married in a few weeks. But planning on starting our new life close to his new job. We've been very busy with all the preparations. I am so excited. Girl, did I write this?

[B]

Girl, do you want this mattress or not?

[A]

I will get to it. We have a personal delivery service that will pick up the item right after you receive your payment. They have been helping us with our moving and other deliveries as well. We will mail out a certified cashier's check payment right away. And after the payment has been cleared with schedule, the date and time for the pickup. I will make the arrangement for the pickup as soon as the check clears. Hope I can trust you with the check payment.

[B]

Oh my God. Question mark.

[A]

Who when the check clears? Because it definitely will. Cause it's a real check that's certified by Check Incorporated. I will trust you to set cash said check. And once you have then my delivery service that I can't afford although a mattress I cannot will come and pick it up. They wonderful.

[B]

They do all types of deliveries.

[A]

Also, one of them's name is Tom. He got a kid named Goldie. She likes to paint.

[B]

Anyways, anyway, so what time should I

[A]

come get says I will arrange for pickups. So get back to me with the details below asap. Name, address, city.

[B]

You gotta be filling out forms too.

[A]

Post a code, phone number, last asking price that I will make arrangements to pick up. As soon as you have your money I. And then we have Another enter will add an additional $30 for holding it for me. Please consider it sold. Thanks and God bless. I will be waiting to read back from you asap. Regard.

[B]

And so, yeah, here's my thing about scammers. At what point are they going to step up their game? Like, if you decided to scam in, clearly not your first language, like, you got to do better than this, bro. Like, that's one of the biggest telltale signs. It's like, like you said the grammar. Grammar, you know, when like, you know words are missing, but not like, oh, type of words. Like, yo, you didn't know how to say this, bro.

[A]

You know, right? And did you put this through Google Translate? I'm sorry, you cannot scam on Google Translate. Do not get on Google Translate.

[B]

Somebody.

[A]

Hello, friend. My, I would like to buy mattress of you.

[B]

Will you be my friend and do this?

[A]

And it's always so weird.

[B]

It's always some weird element. Like, you know, hey, friends, they always call you friends. You know what I mean?

[A]

Or like, it's like, I don't know you.

[B]

You know, it's just, it's clear. Like they're translating some kind of euphemism from their language. And it's like it's not landing, it's not hitting y'. All. And then like these random, you know, I know the listeners can't see this, but it's like there's like random capitalizations, like, all throughout.

[A]

Random indents, random hitting enter, enter, and starting a new line when you're in

[B]

the middle of a sentence. Like, why is her little form name, colon, address, colon, all that stuff, colon. And then the last one is last asking price. And not even dot dot dot it's

[A]

dot dot dot dot. We don't even have another dot. You can't do a full ellipses. You're going to give us ellipse. You're not gonna give us the whole thing? Come on. Okay, yeah. If you get some poorly written email, like, grammar is always the first telltale sign. Also, why is this person asking for so much information from you? Also, why are they giving you so many details? We tell you all the time, people lying will give you unnecessary details. This goes for anybody in your life. You asked your boo what he did today and he said, oh, nothing. Just ran some errands. He might be telling you the truth, but if he's like, oh, nothing, I got stuck in traffic for four hours. That's why I'm home at 3am and also the car needed oil changer. Do you Know we only had 67 cents worth of gas. Anyways, what's up? Bought a slim gym from 7 11. You know, the one on First Street? You know who, the guy who working there. Tommy. Yeah, so once I bought a Slim Jim from Tommy, I got in my car and I started thinking, you know, like, if they giving you too much, they probably lying.

[B]

Yep. Abso fucking lutely, guys.

[A]

Yeah. Craigslist is a hard medium because sometimes it can be great, other times you can get robbed.

[B]

It's 50 50. Exactly. It's a 50 50. And it's worth the shot.

[A]

It is. It's a risk that I'm always willing to take. I'm like, I may die or I may get a used futon that college students have boned on for at least three years.

[B]

Full of bedbugs, riddled.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, is that a gunshot hole, too? Awesome.

[A]

Oh, okay. Well, they did clean the blood up, so that's why it smells like bleach. All right, just, guys, look out for those signs. They're always there. And we have another letter, and this is from this story, says that it's about the Chicken Wing King. Okay, The Chicken Wing King. If you say so. All right, so Chicken Wing King. Priscilla, give me a name for Chicken Wing King.

[B]

Let's call them Victor.

[A]

Victor. I like that Victor. Doesn't sound like he should be cooking chicken then. Since Venter.

[B]

No, I like Victor.

[A]

All right, cool. We'll go with Victor. So Victor has to say he's the Chicken King. So about six or seven years ago, I started working as a server at a chicken wing joint. The guy who trained me was a lower level manager and seemed nice enough, but little did I know, he was the king of a scam that eventually led to him getting fired less than six months later. Here's how it worked. The first part of the day, we offered lunchtime chicken wing buffet. If anyone ordered the buffet, you would ring it in your pos, but no ticket would actually come out the back because the cooks were already cranking out wings for the buffet. So they already. It's like you go to a golden corral. You don't have to order the mashed potatoes. They sitting under a heat lamp, you know, freshly sneezed on, waiting for you. So no ticket comes out. Right? Because they cooking it all up. They chefing in there, getting it out for the buffet. So it was our job as a service just to make sure that it was always full, the buffet. So what my coworker manager would do is he would always keep Old buffet presenter receipts in his apron. He'd always have a variety, like one people buffet, two people buffet, three people buffet, et cetera. So when one person or a group would all just order buffets, he would wait till after they left and paid before he actually rung it in. So he would have them pay like, okay, three buffets, okay? But he wouldn't actually ring in the buffets until they walked away because he

[B]

had these OG receipts that he could just hand off to them, okay?

[A]

Because little did the old customers know, but he actually presented them with old receipts. And if they paid with a card, he would ring it in business as usual. But if they paid in cash, he would usually ring in maybe one buffet, but to not look too suspicious or sometimes none at all, then he'd pocket the cash that was supposed to cover the buffets and the tips, of course. I like this pretty methodical, easy scam, you know, don't get too greedy. So eventually he got caught because for this plan to work, it heavily relied on tables ordering the exact thing that he had old receipts for, which usually meant he couldn't ring in sodas or teas if they ordered them because it would be too specific. So the owner of the restaurant noticed that the dude was never ringing in sodas. And anyone who worked at a restaurant knows that sodas are the biggest markup in the restaurant. And he was trying to protect his bag, you know, so he watched him on the floor one day, initially just to catch him not ringing in. In sodas, but found that he wasn't ringing in half the shit he was supposed to. He was obviously fired on the spot. I have no idea how much he made off of this, but the whole restaurant was dysfunctional and not in a fun way. I left a few months later.

[B]

I mean, again, this goes back to every shithole restaurant. I mean, it's like when you. When you. Whenever you go to. Whenever you work at a restaurant or you run a restaurant, and it's like everything's a mess, you know, everything's just hanging on by a thread. We've all been there who have been in the service industry, where, you know, you're doing what you're. You're doing creme brulees. You know about that?

[A]

Life in the kitchen.

[B]

In the kitchen, when you're supposed to be serving, like, that's not your fucking job. You just set yourself up. When you're a shitty fucking employer, a shitty business owner, you set yourself up to get fucking scammed by your employees. And you deserve it.

[A]

You do Deserve it. But I love that. This guy was obviously petty. This business owner, obviously in everybody's business, because he's like, wait a minute, we're not selling enough sodas? Like, how did he learn?

[B]

Like, I just imagine this guy, like, standing behind the fucking ferns watching this dude underneath the table, you know, just the whole shift, just like, hiding behind a check presenter.

[A]

He did a full recon because, like, I imagine if the guy noticed that the owner was watching him, he would have stopped doing his receipt bit. So the owner must have been, like, on the cameras, hiding behind that ficus they got in the corner. You sit down at your table as a customer. The manager underneath, like, shut up, shut up, shut up.

[B]

I'm not here. I'm not here, okay?

[A]

I'm just doing some quality assurance, right?

[B]

This is a legit ass. Was this guy a manager? The one that was scamming? Yeah, right? Or just an employee?

[A]

He. So the guy who was scamming was a lower level manager?

[B]

That's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's feeling corporate only because he's saying he's noticing how many sodas he's selling.

[B]

Yeah, right?

[A]

Am I wrong? Because that feels like. Like I used to have a manager who's a piece of shit. Josh, wherever you are, Burning in hell.

[B]

Fuck Josh.

[A]

Fuck Josh. And he was so obsessed with me, and he was so miserable. And sometimes he would come up to me like, hey, Lacey, I noticed you didn't sell as much wagyu beef as you did last week. What's going on? I'm like, bitch, get away from me. I'm doing my job. Like, the fuck y' all look. Who do I look like? This look like a Fortune 500 company. Am I gonna get a bonus if I sell more wagyu beef? I will stab you.

[B]

Okay? At least in my restaurant, when they had those, like, goals and shit, I used to be the liquor seller. I would always have the highest liquor sales, but they would give you something for that. So it was like, oh, okay. Cute as they should.

[A]

I don't want the joy of making this company more money. The fuck I get with that? I can't pay fucking Con Ed. Enjoy from working at a company. The fuck? What am I supposed to tell them when I'm short on my rent? Well, I sold more wagyu dish. I don't know what's going on, Mr. Landlord.

[B]

Just wait for that wagyu bonus to come in.

[A]

Oh, you want American dollars for your rent? All I got is wagyu sales. What the. Oh, My God, people are crazy. The things they get in their minds. That I will not be doing. Okay, all right, guys, we're moving on to something that sounds very interesting. It's called Black Mormon Scam, and I'm very titillated.

[B]

Black Mormon.

[A]

Yeah. So, Priscilla, if you want. If you want to take this one away, let me come up with a name for the. The person of. Who's writing in. I' ma call you Tisdale.

[B]

Tisdale, as in Ashley Tisdale?

[A]

Yes, as in Ashley Tisdale Tisdale.

[B]

All right. Okay. So you and Baron Vaughn were talking about black Mormons, and I have to share this story about my family. It's a scam, but not in the way you think. Okay. I like how you starting off, you know, Hook. That's a hook.

[A]

I'm intrigued. I'm intrigulated.

[B]

Okay. So a couple weeks ago, my mom randomly dropped in the family group chat that she was Mormon for two or three years in high school. I'm only laughing because this reminds me of my mom. My mom has all these secrets that randomly come out. Like when you're. Like, when you. I'm like, I'm 25. How am I just finding out that you're actually a year older than you are on your birth certificate? What's going on here?

[A]

Mom? We love a mom with secrets.

[B]

I mean, my God. So that she was a Mormon for two or three years in high school, which surprised all of us, including my dad. So she was. Even the dad was like, what the fuck? I guess she repressed that memory for over 30 years, and it just came back to the surface. This is crazy for a bunch of reasons. Mainly because we are all Negroes and Mormons had, like, just started letting black people join the church around that time.

[A]

Yeah. Which is always confused and confounded me because Mormons was like, well, if you brown, you automatically going to hell because that means you did something bad in the past. Like, but that used to be in their doctrine. So when they start letting in, like, how do you feel when you walk?

[B]

Like, how do you reconcile that? Right?

[A]

So I'm so glad that finally heaven stopped having Jim Crow. Like, imagine you, Martin Luther King, you get to the Celestial Kingdom and they like, oh, it's segregated. And you like, I gotta march again. I spent my whole time on Earth marching. Now we got to march up in the Celestial Kingdom.

[B]

Gotta march the highway of Heaven now. Fuck that Pettis Bridge, yo.

[A]

They said we can't even have freedom when we die, yo. Racism is rude.

[B]

Fucked up. So we had to Call my mom's sister for the rest of the story. And she confirmed it. Both her and my aunt were Mormon. They attended sermons every week, went to retreats and events, and were even baptized in the official Mormon church. Something you can only do in two places. Salt Lake City, city, or Washington, D.C. for context, my mom lived in western New York. They had to bus her down to D.C. for this. Here's the scams. That's how they wrote it. I'm reading exactly how they wrote it. So this opened up a ton of questions because no one else in her family was Mormon, just those two. My grandparents never joined or went to the church. None of her older siblings did either. But after talking to my aunt, we found out the real reason. So apparently that church had a lot of after school events and would take care of kids of all ages. They would do sleepovers and stuff all the time, too. My mom's parents found this out and saw this as a way to get out of parenting for a while. This is definitely the 70s. This is 110%. They're like, Baby, before we smoke this peyote, you want to get rid of the kids or what?

[A]

Alicia, where are your kids? Oh, don't worry about my kids, honey. We going to brunch. Okay. I dropped them off at Mormon. Yeah, you just drop them off into the religion and then they take care of your kids all you want.

[B]

I mean, this is. Okay, so basically, two less mouths to feed. Wow. Two less people to watch and worry about. This is ridiculous. It didn't matter that they were the only black people with no other family around with a bunch of religious weirdos who basically would every now and then just snatch your children for a weekend.

[A]

I'm doing this to my kids, bro. I'm like, have y' all heard of Joseph Smith and his magic rocks? Well, you're about to.

[B]

Have you heard of the Latter Day Saints?

[A]

Hey, y'. All. I'm here to drop off my infant. She ready to join. She want her celestial kingdom.

[B]

This is horrible.

[A]

So, I don't know. Mormons tend to be nice people. I'm from Texas. I know a lot of Mormons and they were all very wonderful. I didn't know they played specialize in childcare.

[B]

Oh, they're nice.

[A]

Yeah, the ones that I've met have been lovely people.

[B]

Oh, fantastic. Yeah, that's nice. Okay, so, yeah. So they would snatch your children for the weekend. That's not. That's out of context.

[A]

Amen. Amen.

[B]

They just let them go and never explained why no one Else was there with them. Sorry if this was too long. No, it wasn't, but it was crazy. Let your kids be Mormon. Exchange for some me time. Then when they stop, just never talk about it again. That's all I got. My mom's fuzzy on the rest of the details, but stay scheming. Queen.

[A]

I love this. Yo. This is an excellent scam. All you new parents out there, you know, drop them babies off at the

[B]

Mormon Church, find you a Mormon temple in, as you know, the closest Mormon

[A]

temple possible, a tabernacle near you.

[B]

And obviously they will. They will send for you. Cause she was from New York, and they got down to D.C. no problem.

[A]

Got a little holy water splashed on them. Free daycare till they're adults.

[B]

So this black family, I love this. I love these parents. They are my idols.

[A]

Where y' all going? Oh, we're going to St. Bart's we dropped our kids off at the church. What?

[B]

What church? I thought you guys were.

[A]

Oh, no, we. We're Baptist. But we drop them off at the Mormon Church because they're having. You know, they have this thing called Mormon track, which one of my best friends, Kirsten, in high school, would do. And I wanted to go. She invited me. But it's like, where you recreate, like, when the Mormons were, like, chased out of places and driven away. So you get, like, handcarts and you wear, like, old school clothes and you, like, trek across the field in the woods or some shit. And one of my friends who sadly passed away, Nick, I love you, he went, and I wasn't allowed to go, and he's black, and he said that they would do the reenactment. So sometimes they would trek and they would get to a lunch hall where they'd be having lunch, and then somebody would come in and be like, Joseph Smith. And all those who follow him must leave this place. Stand up right now. And everybody was staying, and he was sitting down, and they were like, nick, you gotta stand. They're kicking us out. And he was like, oh, no, I'm not. I'm black.

[B]

I don't do this.

[A]

I don't. Yeah, I don't know, Joseph. I'm just here for the weekend. What if Nick's parents were dropping him off for the weekend so that they could go have a vacation? Wow.

[B]

You gotta do what you gotta do. Especially in the seventies. Come on.

[A]

We've decided this was in the seventies. She didn't say.

[B]

Say that or did I make this? I totally make. No, she said something about 30 years. So.

[A]

So yeah, like, that's 80s.

[B]

That's the 80s, give or take. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Around, around. No, times were still crazy.

[B]

I know. I'm like the 80s. That's when I showed up. It wasn't any better, guys.

[A]

No, that's when you could still drink and do cocaine at work and it was just kind of frowned upon. Like, oh, my God. When they came in from lunch, they blasted. Oh, my God. Okay, I'll push his meeting, get him some coffee. He'll sober up by the to.

[B]

Can you imagine to be a white man, right?

[A]

Right. In that world, like the age of Mad Men where everybody just smoked cigarettes in the office and drank bourbon and cheated on their wives.

[B]

Right.

[A]

What a time to be alive.

[B]

Well, if you're a white man, right?

[A]

Sometimes I wish I could just travel back and be a white man for just, like, ridiculous white men periods where they were just doing anything. I mean, they still pretty much. I mean, but back when they were

[B]

doing anything in the old, like, basically two years ago before. Me too. We're laughing out of pain.

[A]

Yeah, sure, sure. Agony. Oh, and let's end on that high note. All right, guys, as always, you can find me at D I V A L A C I Diva Lacey on all platforms if you want to find the podcast scam Got His Pod on all platforms if you want to snitch on your friends and family, just make sure your bag is retired. Scam goddess podmail.com and of course, you

[B]

can find me @priscilladavies. Actor on Instagram and Q O T Desert. Like Queen of the Desert on Twitter.

[A]

All right, congregation, stay scammed. Confessing.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

We'll get it right.

[B]

I got it. I got it. The next time, I swear.

[A]

Damn Goddess.