Daycare Dollars & SmackDown Schemes w/ Hannah Pilkes

Summary

Scam Goddess: Daycare Dollars & SmackDown Schemes w/ Hannah Pilkes

Podcast: Scam Goddess
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Hannah Pilkes
Date: April 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into two front-and-center scams: the chaos surrounding collectible Trader Joe’s tote bags and the wild story of a Swiss daycare director in Brooklyn who embezzled almost $3 million to fund her over-the-top lifestyle—including $350,000 on pro wrestling tickets. Comedian and actor Hannah Pilkes joins Laci to analyze these cases through their signature blend of comedy, skepticism, and whimsy, while riffing on luxury culture, parenting, and the lure of the absurd.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Scam, Scheme, or Real Thing?

Laci kicks things off by polling Hannah on whether common trends are scams, schemes, or legit:

Auto-Suggested Passwords (03:33–12:37)

• Discussion: Are complex, auto-generated passwords actually safer, or just a ploy to keep us dependent on our devices?
• Insights:
  • Laci suggests using distinct and memorable “goofy” and “serious” passwords for different sites, humorously offering “BootyLicker5!” as an example (11:41).
  • They riff on the frustration and vagueness of captchas:
    Laci (06:08): "Bitch, you're the robot. And you're trying to ask me if I'm a robot?"
• Security Risks: Autofill can pose dangers if devices are compromised; browsers can be tricked into leaking credentials.

Trader Joe’s Tote Bags (13:16–20:23)

• Phenomenon: People are lining up and fighting for limited-run Trader Joe’s tote bags, which are flipping online for absurd prices ($3,000–$100,000), mostly due to artificial scarcity and overseas demand.
• Satirical Observation:
  • Hannah: "People wait in line for these things, like sneakers on Melrose Avenue." (13:17)
  • Laci: "It's pastel, it's Trader Joe's. For some reason, you can go to Trader Joe's, get that hoe for like $3.99 and resell it." (13:40)
• Luxury Parody: They compare it to designer items marked up for exclusivity, and even reference Balenciaga’s worn-out sneakers retailing for $1,850 as a similar cultural scam (19:19).

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2. Historic Hoodwinks: The KinderHaus Daycare Fraud

The Story of Muriel Mezak (25:54–68:07)

• The Setup:
  • Muriel Mezak, Swiss immigrant and director of a German immersion daycare in Park Slope, Brooklyn, orchestrated a complex embezzlement scheme by rerouting tuition payments through unauthorized PayPal accounts she controlled.
  • Tuition exceeded $48,000/year—more than UCLA’s out-of-state tuition.
  • Laci: "You need to get on the website as soon as you finish coitus." (29:56)
• How the Scam Worked:
  • Muriel managed tuition billing, payroll, and operations, giving her perfect access to siphon funds.
  • She justified her luxe lifestyle by telling prying colleagues she was from a wealthy Swiss family.
  • Laci: “She kind of gives Nepo energy. And the way she spins, the way she talks...it's a little Anna Delvey coded.” (64:17)
• What She Bought:
  • Over $350,000 on professional wrestling (WWE) tickets.
  • $150,000 each on rideshares and food delivery, plus frequent luxury vacations and two Park Slope apartments.
  • Laci: "If you want to go to Wrestlemania, you don't need to spend 350k on that! You don't need to be going every week down the tunnel, baby...splurge here and there, then quit and move out of the city." (63:15)
• How She Got Caught:
  • Manipulated accounting to cover up fake payment records, but co-workers began to notice gaps and extravagances.
  • After her termination, the school principal was forced to dip into savings to cover payroll.
  • Prosecutors say the $3M is gone—mostly unrecoverable.
• Cultural Satire:
  • Laci and Hannah lampoon the world of ultra-niche private schools, exclusive parenting circles, and the insane signals of quiet luxury.
  • Hannah: "Private school philanthropy is like, I will donate, but only if I get to wear a hot dress." (33:14)

Notable Quotes and Moments

• On the absurdity of exclusive tote bags:
  Hannah (13:17): "Well, they're coveted, right? Every Trader Joe's I go to, they're out of stock. People wait in line...like sneakers on Melrose Avenue."
• On the scammy pricing of luxury goods:
  Laci (18:30): "The flex of anything that's expensive is that it never costs as much to make it as what you're paying for it."
• On the Swiss daycare scam:
  Laci (36:11): "With an accent in America, they're like, oh, you f. Swiss."
• On scaling up her theft:
  Laci (56:03): "Within three years, she made 450 fraudulent payments to herself, spending more than $350,000 alone on professional wrestling tickets."
• On covering her tracks:
  Laci (62:59): "She was covering up the theft by manipulating the school's internal accounting system to falsely show that the payments had been deposited..."

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3. Scammer of the Week: The Great Kit Kat Heist (71:08–78:00)

• The Crime: Thieves in Italy, disguised as law enforcement, made off with a massive shipment of 413,793 limited edition F1 KitKat bars (valued at about $750,000).
• Humor:
  • Hannah: "These are Kit Kats. You're supposed to be whimsical. You adjacent to the ice cream man." (72:01)
  • Laci: "They restrained and removed the driver. Imagine being a driver. You're not driving no bank truck...you're driving a Kit Kat bar truck." (72:04)
• Marketing Meltdown:
  • Laci: "Nestle... has been making a meal of the crime. Their official statement said they appreciate the criminal's exceptional taste." (75:19)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Banter: 03:43–13:16
• Auto-Generated Passwords Debate: 03:33–12:37
• Trader Joe’s Tote Bag Resale Madness: 13:16–20:23
• Luxury Pricing, Black Friday, and Quiet Luxury Scams: 19:19–20:23
• Historic Hoodwinks: Daycare Director Scam: 25:54–68:07
• Social Commentary: School Prices, Underpaid Teachers: 47:50–54:41
• Kit Kat Heist: 71:08–78:00
• Sign-off & Plugs: 78:05–79:34

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Tone and Language Highlights

• The episode maintains the podcast’s signature playful, satirical, and sharp-tongued tone while providing genuine insight into real scam mechanics.
• Both hosts keep the subject light—“It’s a comedy show! We laugh at them, not their victims.”—even while discussing substantial monetary theft.
• Occasional whimsical tangents (on haunted children, fashion, and more) keep the energy high.

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Memorable Moments

• Password Security: "BootyLicker5!" as a serious password! (11:41)
• WWE Obsession Caper: Over $350K on wrestling, with Laci marveling at how much professional wrestling embodies "soap opera + live theatre + anime lore + pageantry (plus, always horny)" (57:10–57:20).
• Kit Kat Heist Puns: Thieves only speak in puns. "We're gonna rob you, but it's gonna be in puns! And it's for chocolate." (72:22)

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Conclusion and Takeaways

• Scams are everywhere: From tech “security” features to luxury retail, grocery store collectibles, and even the world of elite daycare.
• Question exclusivity and value: The episode makes clear that what’s “rare” or “premium” is often just a clever marketing play.
• The human side of scams: They reveal how both scammer and institution (like the overpriced daycare) play roles in perpetuating cycles of exploitation.
• Comedy as critique: Laci and Hannah use humor to strip away the mystique of scammers, poking fun at both grifters and the cultural conditions enabling them.

Final Thought:
As Laci signs off—“Give yourselves a break!”—listeners are reminded to be alert for schemes, keep things light-hearted, and, most importantly, “stay schemin’.”

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

See t mobile.com for details. Scams cops, robbery and fraud. Scam cars, robbery and fraud. Scam. What's poppin? Congregation it's your girl, Lacy Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Back with the podcast all about robbery, fraud and those who practice it. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. But y' all know this is a comedy show. We will always laugh at them, not their victims. Yes, Congregation, y' all already know I'm what? Yes, Excited, thrilled, elated to have a returning guest that only if you're an og, you're gonna know. Okay. Cause it's been a minute, but congregation, they left the church for a little while to find themselves and now they have returned. Okay, today we have amazing comedian, actress and writer on the show. You've seen her on. Oh, Leanne. A square is a rectangle. Sorry, not sorry. The woodsman. Far worse. 31 candles and so much more. I'm not gonna list out this lady IMDb like that because we will be here for a long time. You know her for her character driven comedy and sketch abilities and she has been selling out comedy venues all around town. Speaking of which, the stop on Scam Goddess comedy tour is in two days, honey. April 30th at the Cobbs Theater. Y' all always know we turn up in San Francisco. If you don't live in San Francisco, you still have two days to walk there. So do not play with me. Get on Ticketmaster right now. Scam Goddess. Just Google Scam Goddess. Ticketmaster. Go ahead and get those tickets because you know that live show is going to be lit and that's the live show that I'm recording. So come on, get involved. Congregation, please also get involved with welcoming the hilarious, the incomparable Hannah Pilkis to the show. Yes, Hannah, thank you for coming back. We appreciate it.

[B]

I Was thrilled to be asked back. It felt like a pleasure and a. Oh, I'm thrilled to be back. It's a pleasure and a privilege. That's a mouthful.

[A]

I like that, though. It's a pleasure and a pleasure and a privilege. It's like my presence is a present.

[B]

Ooh, I love my presence as a present.

[A]

Yes, and your presence is a presence.

[B]

And than I love listening to you. You have the voice of an angel. It's so soothing. Thank you.

[A]

I think it's degrading.

[B]

Really? I think mine sounds like I had a cheese grater for breakfast.

[A]

Oh, no, it's like. It's soothing to me. Like that rasp. It's like asmr.

[B]

Ooh. Okay.

[A]

Even the one you just said, like, thank you.

[B]

And you know what? There's a market for everything, right? You want feet pics. Some people want the painted toes, some people want the ones unpainted and callous.

[A]

So they want you dancing in bricks.

[B]

That's exactly. And I can do one better for you.

[A]

Well, we start the show now by asking you your expert scam opinion. I'm gonna ask you about three different little things, and I wanna know each one. Is it a scam, in your opinion? Is it a scheme or is it a real thing?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yes. So the first one is auto suggested passwords.

[B]

You know what I.

[A]

And if you don't know what an auto suggested password is. Not Hannah. She knows. She's thinking it's when you enter a new website or whatever. And if you have an iPhone, I don't know what they'd be doing in the green text business. I'm a part of the cult with the bluetext, even though I think Androids might be a superior phone, but.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

I know. But at the same time, I will bully you into getting rid of it. Like, I will. When I worked on iPhone.

[B]

What's it about that green?

[A]

The whole cast, we bullied Nathan Kress into getting an iPhone because we're like, you're ruining the group chats. We will kill you.

[B]

It is so jarring to get that

[A]

green because they made it a doo doo baby green. Like a baby doo doo green. What are we supposed to do, right?

[B]

It's like a slime. A Nickelodeon Kidd Choice Award slime.

[A]

The slime is brighter green. Okay? That's like a chartreuse. Okay. It's giving.

[B]

And a chartreuse is another thing.

[A]

Yeah. This is a doo doo green where it's like your brain is like this nasty. Why is this nasty person hitting my phone with A nastiness, which is them doing that to us. Like, iPhone did that on purpose. It was one of the smartest marketing techniques.

[B]

The blue.

[A]

But yeah, the blue.

[B]

Ocean blue.

[A]

The ocean blue versus the doo doo greens. And they made me, Mamma mia. Blue.

[B]

The green.

[A]

Because we don't show up no color on their phones. But I don't know if y' all have it, but, like, when you enter a new website and you have a new passcode, there will be like an auto suggested passcode that's like, this is stronger. A1759723Z1575309. It's crazy. 2813-308-01877.

[B]

Cards for kids.

[A]

Yes. And they're like, do you want this password? It's safer, or do you want to think of something you can remember with your dumb ass? So what do you think?

[B]

I'm going to make it 20, 25? I think it's a scheme. I don't think it's a scam. And I think it's a scheme in that if you're. What's it called? Duped. And you do follow that password, I believe that it is stored and you've given yourself over to them, they win, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think they're trying to steal your info. I think they're trying to make it harder on you. But I do think every time you reset, that's good for them in some way. I don't know why, but maybe every time you have a captcha page that you have to get through, they get a point or something, which is also

[A]

crazy because you're a robot captcha. And you're trying to ask me if I'm a robot.

[B]

Right? And you're like, sorry, which of these

[A]

like, bitch, you're the robot. And you try to be like, are you real?

[B]

Right?

[A]

Are you real?

[B]

But capture's gotten so vague. It's like, which of these boats is nice? I'm like, I don't know. That's subjective.

[A]

Literally, it used to be like, is this a crosswalk? And then sometimes that was like, I don't know. They be like, they jaywalking still a crosswalk in their mind. I'm like, you fucking with Miami?

[B]

I'm like, I'm from New York. Everything's a crosswalk, Right?

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

It's so crazy.

[A]

It used to be like, show all the bridges. And I would be like, okay, that makes sense. And they were like, no, bitch, that was a hill over water. No, that's that's not what.

[B]

That's a troll that you have to answer three riddles, literally.

[A]

That's. Our bridge troll is literally Captcha.

[B]

They go, sorry, that's the one with the bridge troll. That one doesn't count.

[A]

At least if Captcha called themselves bridge trolls, it would be more whimsical and I would be more down to do it.

[B]

We love. We famously love a whimsy moment.

[A]

Yes, I love me a whimsy moment.

[B]

Make Captcha whimsy.

[A]

We both look very whimsical right now.

[B]

We do. I was admiring.

[A]

You're giving me the floral. You're giving me, like, these gorgeous little, like, hot girl tattoos. That's what I call hot girl tattoos, where they're just, like, tiny and tattoos a little peekaboo. Just like a. Ooh.

[B]

Oh, Is it a bee or is it a jar?

[A]

What does it mean?

[B]

I'll never tell. But I'll tell you at length. I have an open book. No, I love whimsy. Honestly, it's all burning to the ground. We gotta be whimsifying.

[A]

We gotta be whimsifying. I like if anybody's doing something goofy, as long as they're not bothering anybody, I am fully in support. There was a time where I would judge and look, I know the younger little people like to be like, oh, that's cringe or whatever, but I'm like, baby, once you survive what we've survived, then you will understand you need some whimsy. Okay. Yeah. They sold a credit card, like, Magic wand, where you could stick your credit card in it and then tap it. For a Disney Adult on TikTok? Yeah, for a Disney adult for anybody. Somebody posted on TikTok was like, my boyfriend took me on shopping spee and gave me his wand with a credit card. And I would just tap on it. And I was like, why not? You know what?

[B]

Follow your bliss.

[A]

Follow your bliss if you're not bothering nobody.

[B]

Absolutely. My. I went to my friend's birthday, and they had a psychic, which I think is. Is a choice, right?

[A]

Because I've done it at a birthday party.

[B]

But don't you think that's a questionable choice in that they might say something you want to hear and it might be your birthday?

[A]

It's enter at your own risk with the side.

[B]

It's absolutely at your own risk.

[A]

And I've had excellent psychics and, like, they in the corner. And I had couples who were bold enough to, like, go with each other to the psychic. I was like, y' all crazy.

[B]

And they're like, I'm seeing the death card. Death card, death card, death card. You guys are thriving for now, right? Mine. But mine was like, I'm sensing a lot of millennial trauma. Like, that tracks girl.

[A]

That sounds like a scammer to me.

[B]

Let's get him out here.

[A]

Cause what do you mean she looked at you and was like, I'm sensing a lot of millennial trauma. You could do that to any millennial.

[B]

I'm like, yeah, sorry, I don't know how to contour. Fine.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I'm not Gen Z in that one.

[A]

You're Gen Z, Gen Alpha. You could do it to all of us.

[B]

Like we all now consisting a lot. It's like, sorry, we're actually all traumatized. Yeah, I'm sensing that comes with the territory.

[A]

Impending doom, glass half empty.

[B]

I'm sensing like, you're right might be revoked at some point. I don't know. Anyway, we digress.

[A]

Yes, I agree with you. It's a scheme. And then I will say that if you do use autofill passwords and then obviously you're saving that autofill password to your phone, making you more dependent on your phone. They carry some moderate security risks like malware exploitation. Meaning like stealers can come in and they can pull saved credentials from like borrowing the storage off of your phone. Also like auto spill slash invisible forms. So hackers can create fake forms to trick browser extensions into filling in data that is not really proponent or like it doesn't really pertain to what you're trying to purchase or what you're trying to fill out. The hackers are like, we in here too. Like, go ahead and just fill out this form.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And it's also device access. If someone has access to your unlocked computer, slash phone, they have access to all of your accounts. So once they, if they can get in there, they get that special, you know, 867-5309. Then now they have access to maybe more things, depending on how much you put in one password. Which is why I always say I said it back in the day, Carl's heart episode. That was years ago. But if you're new, you should have a goofy password and a serious password. I know we can't remember more than one or two, but have a goofy password. That's what you use for serious things. And then have a serious password for your bank and things like that and never mix the two.

[B]

And so I would love an example of what you mean because I think that's quite subjective in the eye of the beholder. Some would say some goofy is another.

[A]

Say a goofy password of yours.

[B]

I'm under a bridge. I don't know why.

[A]

For example, say a goofy password of yours. Just for reference.

[B]

Like, you know, porridge. Porridge 69. You know, something like millennial trauma. And it's. That's part of rp.

[A]

My grandma, she got hit by a bazooka.

[B]

And then the serious one's like, it's all burning to the ground, right?

[A]

The serious was like. Because we all used love to use, like loved one stuff. You know, birthdays and things like that. Dogs favorite first mom's car type shit.

[B]

Honestly, serious is more earnest, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And silly's like, you know, auto generated.

[A]

And maybe we should flip that. Maybe the earnest password should be on a goofy ass website like sephora.com. but then maybe your bank password should be something like Booty liquify. Like, nobody's going on Wells Fargo. Booty Liquor 5. Capital B. Yeah.

[B]

And I'm doing that for my rap.

[A]

Iron O's in Booty Liquor is a zero. I love.

[B]

I love a zero. O.

[A]

Yes, it's very.

[B]

Calculator. Calculator. Boobless.

[A]

Booty Liquor five. And then instead of the I in five. Cause you spell out five like a word.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

The five is an exclamation mark. So then you get all the characters. You got a uppercase, a lowercase, a zero, a zero, and a character, special character.

[B]

Well, now you're becoming the computer, because that's a lot to remember.

[A]

Booty Licker 5 is not that hard.

[B]

You're like Booty Licker 5, but the B on Wednesdays is capitalized.

[A]

There's two zeros, capital B, 0, regular O, T, Y, and then exclamation point V, e. Booty Licker 5, E, H,

[B]

H, exclamation point, ellipses. Is that okay? Because it's a millennial.

[A]

Is that okay?

[B]

No worries. If not, you made it Apple.

[A]

Now you put it in the eh and the da da da. I'm not gonna remember that. But Booty Licker five I can remember. And now I can access my bank account. You know what I mean?

[B]

Well, now, no one checked Lacey's accounts.

[A]

When I file my taxes, it's like, yes, irs.gov, booty L5 is here to contribute. They still do.

[B]

You think they're giggling if they see that, they're like, oh, she's got a sense of humor. We need that around here.

[A]

And yeah, I think that's better. Um, so, yeah, y' all take my advice. Booty Licker 5. Okay, you can change it to whatever you want, but I think that's a good one. So next scam, scheme or real thing? Trader Joe's tote bags. And Jess, will you pull up resale of Trader Joe's tote bags real quick? So while we talk, Hannah, Trader Joe's tote bag. Have you seen one?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Have you felt one in your hands?

[B]

Well, they're coveted, right? Every Trader Joe's I go to, they're out of stock. People wait in line for these things, like sneakers on Melrose Avenue.

[A]

They're fighting for them.

[B]

They're fighting for them. I mean, they're gorgeous. We've got a pastel moment, but it's a tote bag.

[A]

And now listen, I know I'm talking to the pod. Okay, Hannah, you agree with the podcast community. Y' all know I got y' all some good tote bags. If you come to San Francisco, you know, I got the good tote bags for y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

If you come to Dallas and anywhere, you know, I got a good but for. But these, like, it's pastel, it's Trader Joe's. But for some reason, there are phenomena now where you can now go to Trader Joe's, get that hoe for like 3.99 and resell it. So now people are in Trader Joe's, like, punching the other, like, you know,

[B]

like, it's Black Friday.

[A]

Yeah, like Black Friday. It's not even Black Friday no more. People used to die in the Black Friday wars.

[B]

Yeah, I know, it's terrible. It's horrible. My thing is, like, you can do it online now. So I actually think people that do that in person want to fight. I think they're like, it's the purge.

[A]

It is.

[B]

And I want to deck a bitch because I could go online and order that on Walmart.com, but you know what? I want a body check.

[A]

They just had to deal with their fucking family. Like, either they went to their in laws house and you know, they hate their fucking stank ass uncles, or they mama always criticizing them, or they still single and they mad like, whatever it is, whatever happened to you on Thanksgiving, you knew you could take out on Black Friday, that's black somebody eye Friday,

[B]

you order your first. Lacey's promoting killing someone on Black Friday. No, if you want. No, if you have family trauma, anything goes. Baby, listen.

[A]

Everybody on Black Friday got family trauma. But it used to be cathartic.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Because it used to be something worth fighting for. Sure. You know, a 60 inch, a 70 inch, and it would be like $60. And it's like, yes, this is worth a scrap in the aisle.

[B]

This is worth bleeding a little.

[A]

A little. You know.

[B]

Yeah, I can just cut. I can cut.

[A]

You lick your wounds and you got it all out.

[B]

Yeah. And you have like a six square foot apartment, but an 80 foot TV.

[A]

But you know what? That's progress.

[B]

That's progress.

[A]

It covers your whole wall and a little bit of the door to your bathroom.

[B]

That's power. Yep. You can't close your door, but that's

[A]

fine because you, you have the memories.

[B]

You can watch Judge Judy. Real dude.

[A]

Look at that tv. You remember how you knocked at least two people's teeth out to get it? Okay. And then you had to strap it to the roof of your Prius and drive it home real slow.

[B]

And you know the person whose teeth were decked out is like all's fair

[A]

and love and war. It is. They also love it. Some people to get hit.

[B]

That's because they also want to feel something.

[A]

After rich ass Thanksgiving and everything was so pent up and very like waspy that they were like, I don't know, somebody punched me in the face.

[B]

Black Friday doesn't discriminate. It's also like people in succession. It's the ultra wealthy that just want to feel something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you have the cucks.

[A]

Yeah. So there's Black Friday cucks and there's like Black Friday fighters.

[B]

Sure. Let's make that video game Grand Theft Auto Black Friday Fighters.

[A]

Because then you go in the parking lot and it's like, who are you going to mow over with a shopping cart though? You get points for that. You get points for that. Okay, we love that. So we're looking at these trader bags, Trader Joe's tote bags. And today we're only gonna do two scam scheme reel things. Cause we need to get to historic hoodwinks. And you honestly have given me so much headache. Like Black Friday, I'm gonna say it's a scam now. But it used to be a real thing. It used to be a real thing where you would fight, get bloody, and you would get money or like whatever you wanted or get punched in the face. Everybody got what they wanted when they went on Black Friday, right?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

You got a workout too.

[B]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you get a.

[A]

Now it's a. Because now they don't give discounts. Sometimes they up the price. Like people aren't really flooding the stores anymore like they used to online shopping. They're not even giving online discounts. Like they used to. That's.

[B]

Or it's like eight hours. You're like, oh, refresh. Missed it.

[A]

It used to be Cyber Monday. Now we used to have two days.

[B]

Now it's cyber scam. Now it's stealing your identity. Monday.

[A]

Yeah. We're gonna get your identity and we're not gonna give you a discount on Monday, but on Friday, it's more expensive. We're gonna charge you more, and you're not gonna get that fight that you wanted. It's all a scam now. But it used to be a real thing.

[B]

So can you explain this to me?

[A]

It's Trader Joe' phenomena with the totes. They've become so interesting and such a thing now that people collect them. They're like the new Stanley Cup. There was a time where everyone wanted that cup and every color and they were kind of overpriced. Trader Joe's actually charges a reasonable price for them. And it's like not more than $5.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But people come in, this is their new Black Friday. Right. So they're boxing for them, and then they're reselling them online. And right now we're looking at a large Trader Joe's limited edition canvas tote. We will put this on the Instagram. And it's in a lavender with the Trader Joe's. And this bag is on eBay for $3,000 right now.

[B]

With a 4.5 star review, I might add.

[A]

Right. With 64 reviews.

[B]

Yeah. I love my $3,000 tote. Wouldn't you believe it?

[A]

But other people in other countries apparently covet these bags. Wow. And so they can't buy them anywhere but here. So they. So they're, you know, our Americans are going out and selling them. And then you have Limited Edition 2026 Pastel Trader Joe's Mini Totes A for $100,000 on eBay.

[B]

With also 64 reviews, for example.

[A]

You know you can fake inflate reviews.

[B]

Sure. That's true. That's true.

[A]

But also, there is a flex to paying $100,000 for a tote bag from Trader Joe's. And here's why. The flex of anything that's expensive is that it never costs as much to make it and have raw materials as what you're paying for it.

[B]

Absolutely. Marking up a bottle of wine at

[A]

a restaurant, marking up a bottle of wine at a restaurant, watches, anything. That's a luxury good.

[B]

A lot of times the all those. That luggage, that era.

[A]

And a lot of the same luxury purses are made in the same factories as the dupes, the bootlegs and other things. And like, even when it comes to like shoes, like sometimes people have contracts with expensive shoe companies and once that contract leaves, they still have the blueprint to make those shoes. So then they just start making them still, but bootlegging them. Same looking shoes, same quality.

[B]

Well, that's the crazy thing if you get an, you know, an off brand purse, but it's still beautifully threaded and manufactured and made. The frustrating thing is they work just as hard and now they're going to get half the money. Did you see Balenciaga sneakers where they're like put flash fried in an oven. They look like sneakers from more of the worlds, which you guys should show that as well. Let's roll it up. It's, it's almost a grand. Oh, it's selling destroyed sneakers for 1850. That's on the right.

[A]

Yes. Look at this destroyed Balenciaga sneaker. And it's like, it's like my dog got into. That's the culture of like rich culture you have. Rich people used to do Gotti rich cult like fashion where it would, they would wear the Gucci logo, they would wear the prints. And then once that became accessible to people in the middle, upper middle class, or even, you know, people who were poor, but they would save up for the one beautiful piece that they wanted. They were like too accessible. Now we got to do quiet luxury. $6,000 cotton T shirts.

[B]

Quiet luxury. That's ding, ding, ding.

[A]

Or we got to do marketing like something like looking all busted up but you knowing if you know that it's really so expensive. It's all a mind game.

[B]

It's all, oh my God. I mean the most expensive stores you go in, it's a completely empty warehouse.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's one coat hanger and there's three shirts.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And that's all. And each is $1,000 and it's a white T shirt.

[A]

I love the scam a little bit. I go to the Webster and the only thing that makes me proud of going there is that there are like three things on the hanger. And if you find it in your size, you know that nobody else is really going to have it when you go there because they only have one size.

[B]

Right. It's just the one. You can wear it as a purse or a belt.

[A]

And that's like the rack for like medium class. Because like if you are super rich, you just go get the thing made custom or you like the girls bring it to your house and you shop from your home. But I'm like looking through the rack like is it going to be in my size? This one thing that they have fingers crossed. And then you feel like you won the lottery when it fits.

[B]

And you know what, there is something to be said for and this is great but the flex of like I can go and reward myself and my hard work with this thing. That being said, it is why like Balenciaga also had an Air1 purse. Air1 tote that was tote material and hundreds of dollars.

[A]

Oh, Valencia loves to cosplay pour it like that's why them shoes coming up like that's it makes so much sense.

[B]

But the Trader Joe's of it all I need to understand because it's not even like Trader Joe's food or even

[A]

produce the international of it all where like you don't have Trader Joe's in other places. And so it's like you snagging up something that you can't get nowhere else. Like exclusivity is a of the reason that purchasing power is driving these like markets where things are significantly higherly priced. The speakeasy because it's like you can't get this scams. This podcast is supported by Ring with ring, it's protected. Keep track of packages and see more at the front door with battery doorbell. Make sure your yard is safe at night with their outdoor cam plus that delivers a wide field of view and enhanced video clarity with retinal 2K video and upgrade to 4K cameras and doorbells featuring retinal that give you ultra clear footage and let you zoom in without losing important details. I love to order a package. I love the, the, the feeling in my stomach when something new arrives in the mail. But we all know that it's scamming season four times a year. Yes, that's all year round. So having a ring protector doorbell keeps your packages safe because now the scammers do see the ring and they will let go of that thing and move on to the next house. Okay. And also what I love about it is for me personally, sometimes I get a food delivery driver who's not followed the instructions. They don, they don't ring the doorbell, but you know, it does always ring. Ring your door, your yard, your home. With ring it's protected shop cameras, doorbells and more right [e-mail] Spring is one of my favorite times of the year. It's when the weather has decided to stop scamming us. It's not too hot, it's not too cold and it's the perfect time to wear all of your favorite pieces, which is why I love quince. Quince has quality pieces that work all throughout every single season. They're Versat. Y' all know the things that I'm obsessed with. I was in Paris and nobody side eyed me once because I looked amazing in my quints. And their spring pieces are lightweight, breathable and effortless. The kind of things you can throw on and instantly look put together in. Which is my favorite scam. Okay. Because I can always be a fashionista, which is why I need quints for me. Refresh your spring wardrobe with quints. Go to Quinte's.com Goddess for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to Q U I N C for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com goddess sometimes I become a creature of habit because I don't want to be scammed by trying new things. But you know what? It's finally time for me to say goodbye to dry with Hellofresh. With hello Fresh. Savoring new flavors from around the world isn't just delicious. It's simple and wholesome. You can choose from more than 80 global recipes every single month, including Vietnamese, Moroccan, Caribbean and more. Cravings shouldn't just wait for takeout. Get international ingredients straight to you. I love it so much because I feel like I'm impressing my friends. Like, I don't typically have, like cream of chowder mushroom with couscous. When's the last time you just made couscous at your house? And eating at home is just so much better. I know what's inside of it. I can pronounce all the ingredients. And that's why I love hellofresh. Go to hellofresh.com goddess10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free NutriBullet Ultra PL plus two in one compact kitchen system. A $189.99 value on your third box. Free meals applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. Must order the third box by May 31, 2026. Today, in our historic hoodwinks, which my favorite segment of the show, we're going to be talking about a person who, in a stone cold stunning move, they stole almost $3 million in tuition money to use on things like tickets to pro wrestling. Now, mind you, this person was a director of a Brooklyn daycare where the staff are only allowed to speak German. If that's not giving Brooklyn rich like, come on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And also like, like, this is who we're gonna be talking about. Her name is Muriel Mezak. Now Muriel already had a scam going because she was running a daycare in Brooklyn, which, you know, these are gentrifiers who done moved in somewhere. And it's a daycare where you can only speak German. That's not even like the fanciest of the languages to teach. No shade to Alvid or Zane. No. No shade to the Germans.

[B]

I'm Dutch and it's not the sexiest language. They're adjacent.

[A]

So you know, I do going Dutch.

[B]

So I know. And you know Kristen Johnston.

[A]

I love Kristen Johnson.

[B]

The business truly life changing.

[A]

Cool as hell.

[B]

Like yeah, can do it all.

[A]

Love that woman. Real bad. Real bad.

[B]

But you know the Dutch accent.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, the Dutch and the. Yeah.

[B]

Even though you film in Ireland, right?

[A]

Yeah, yes, we do. That's our scam. But I did go to Amsterdam right after we filmed just to get. And I was like, loved it. I was such nerding out because we got so much of it right. Just like the cheese wheels and the tulips and the, you know, like, who had it?

[B]

But the thing about Dutch is you have all these like extreme, extremely hot men and then they're like, you better not do stuff like that. And you're like, well, that ruined them.

[A]

When they open their mouth, they look goofy. But I love that for them. I also just love the lackadaisical spirit of Amsterdam. They just be doing anything. I know they're very whimsical. That makes so much sense that you. Yes.

[B]

Yeah. I just. I'm meant to live under a bridge in Amsterdam and be a gnome. That's sort of like.

[A]

But you're too tall to be a gnome.

[B]

I'm too tall to be a gnome. I'm a life size gnome. Yes. Yeah, but I'm. I'm a gnome in Dutch standards because everyone's like six, five and over. So actually my husband's five, six. And we went to Holland and we were trying to rest and they tried to get a bike and the guy went, we don't have a bike for someone who's five' six.

[A]

For your leg. Your leg. You have more leg. Get more leg. Come on.

[B]

Sorry. Just. No. So we just walked around.

[A]

Oh no, wait, that's bullshit. Because there's so many bikes in Amsterdam. Like too many bikes. And there's excellent. I couldn't find one.

[B]

Right. You couldn't lower the handle. You couldn't lower the seat.

[A]

They could have lowered the seat and they kept the handle up and he could have been like the saw guy, like doing a little jigsaw. Like, damn, they have to do your man like that. They have to do your baby. Like, I ain't like that. But like, we got Muriel Mezak, right? And so we have a photo of Muriel that we're gonna look at. So Muriel got on her essentials, which is a little brim. She got her top knot and it looks like she's on the beach on a cold day.

[B]

Maybe a hoop. A small hoop.

[A]

Yeah, a small hoop to keep it classy. Because she's classy. She's a classy lady.

[B]

Day to night.

[A]

She's 43 years old and honestly, she's a. That's a good looking white. 43.

[B]

I was gonna say glowy skin, you know?

[A]

Yeah, glowy skin. Cheruby ch.

[B]

Cheeks.

[A]

Like that money was.

[B]

There's some collagen being used.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Yeah. Some serums.

[A]

Some serums for sure. She got a nighttime routine and a daytime routine.

[B]

Yeah. She's using night oil and day oil, maybe a little retinol.

[A]

She might have a spritz after lunch. Just like a little rose spray.

[B]

Oh, I was gonna say. And an aperol Spritz and an apple spritz. She's having a spritz and a spritz.

[A]

A spritz and a spritz. And I love that for her. So she was arrested and indicted on money laundering. And I.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then she was also arrested, indicted on money laundering and wire fraud charges for possibly stealing children's tuition payments from a private daycare and preschool in Park Slope. We knew it was going to be

[B]

Bart Slope, of course, called.

[A]

I love that you're a New Yorker. Helps even worry. Called Kinderhouse. Kinder House.

[B]

Kinder House.

[A]

Kinder House. Okay. Kinder house. That's the. And. And it's. And it looks like a house.

[B]

It's like a beautiful brown stuff.

[A]

But they're like, bring your kinder into our house.

[B]

Well, kinder. Kinder chocolate.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Kinder chocolate. Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So the journey tuition tastes a lot of chocolate. You just paying chocolate coins?

[A]

No, that's what your kids go home with. But you paying real coins. Okay. They want the real coin.

[B]

These tuitions are crazy out here. My nephew, they're trying to find a preschool for him. And it is like a college tuition.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you gotta sign up two years

[A]

earlier while you're pregnant.

[B]

Yes. She's like, I can't believe I applied so late two years before. I'm like, what the.

[A]

You honestly, like, as soon as y' all finish coitus. You need to get on the website. You know what I mean? You hold your legs up in the. For the insemination, and you also need to be on the website while you're doing that.

[B]

So you're saying not even when you're pregnant, when you're trying and confident. It might have took.

[A]

Like, BAE is going to get a hot towel if you do an ivf. They just did the procedure. Before you leave the doctor's office, you need to be signing up.

[B]

Yes. Or at least writing your personal essay for why your kid. Your hypothetical kid's better.

[A]

Yeah. Honestly, you could do that beforehand. You might just have to make some predictions about how your kid is cool and then teach them what you said later.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My kid is not haunted. My kid is. Will not spook you at a house. My kid.

[A]

Even if you lead with not haunted, they're gonna think your kid is haunted.

[B]

Let's just start off by saying, my kid will not haunt you or draw scary things at school.

[A]

I don't know. That's the ring already. It's giving. Well and equal is gonna come up out the well, and it's gonna.

[B]

My kid will not be spooky and have hair in front of their face that I don't trim. My kid will not live in a well. Let's just start by saying, come out

[A]

your TV after seven days. Okay. My kid is named.

[B]

But in your defense, don't watch this movie.

[A]

They're not coming out of the well. Just don't watch that. So the German language immersion school takes care of around 100 children, most of them with ties to Switzerland and Germany. I love this niche because the girlies love a French school. Everybody wants a little croissant kid and

[B]

the little Emily in Paris, only they're actually speaking the language.

[A]

I know so many baguette babies. I'm not even kidding. Baguette babies? Yeah. That go to French schools. Sure.

[B]

Very posh.

[A]

It's very Gossip Girl. Very gossip. Yes. Oui, oui. Je m' appelle, baby.

[B]

Probably little ties.

[A]

Yeah. Little madeleines running around everywhere.

[B]

They're all dressed like the little kissing Dutch people. Cute little hats.

[A]

But, like, I feel like Switzerland and Germany is such a nice niche for a scam because, yes, that lineage is gonna be in Park Slope and a lot of in Brooklyn as well. Sure. But also, now you're targeting a bunch of specific people who already have a need. Right, right, right. Cause this feels elevated. If people are like, oh, I take my kid to a French school, we're like, French, French school everywhere. Like, oh, you know, like, my kids slope. Yeah.

[B]

Specific.

[A]

But to be like, oh, they're speaking German. It's like, why do they need that?

[B]

Okay, so Swiss, German, I wonder about too, if there's Swiss people there as well, which is a very specific.

[A]

There's like, a very specific Caucasian.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

It's giving them.

[B]

It's giving, like, you know, Nicole Kidman in the Undoing with a very long coat. All these people have very long cashmere coats when they're dropping off their kids. They ski. Of course.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

They're summering in their kids.

[A]

Their nannies drop off their kids. Absolutely.

[B]

They've never been.

[A]

But on pickup, they do go sometimes. Cause they have to do white lady shenanigans.

[B]

Well, because they're gonna be confirming the gala.

[A]

Yes, they have to confirm the gala. They also have to prove that they don't work. So when the nanny in the morning is. Cause, like, they have rich ladies stuff to do and sleep. Absolutely. But in the afternoon, you have to go. They go, come to mommy and be like, oh, did you sign up for the bake sale? What are you bringing this year? Oh, are you coming to the gala?

[B]

I'll be there.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Just left. My massage was almost late. You gotta show your. Your face a little bit. And what I love about in the morning, that's you working too hard in the morning.

[B]

Private school philanthropy is like, I will donate, but only if I get to wear a hot dress. Right. And also, you don't get my money unless I have Prosecco.

[A]

Are you auctioning off a dinner with Chef. You know, Gordon.

[B]

Yeah, the Chef Gordon Gong. Yes.

[A]

I could afford it, but I'd love someone fancier. But I was gonna say Anthony Bourdain, but he's gone. And he also would have never done that.

[B]

I'm truly like, name one famous chef. Couldn't be me.

[A]

Chef. No. Chef Bobby Flay.

[B]

Chef Sushi. Stop. Chef Boyardee.

[A]

Oh, Boyardee.

[B]

My never ending pasta bowl. Olive garde. Anything is pasta Bow Al Rabis.

[A]

Do you love cermeats?

[B]

I love Arby's roast.

[A]

I love ceremony. I love zermetz. So Murell directed parents to pay into unapproved PayPal accounts she controlled and then transferred the money to her own account and deleted the evidence. Wow. So she was like, send the money here, y'. All. It's Muriel, you know, Alvidre Zayn, PayPal. And then she deleted the evidence. So they. They just paying money to whoever they pay.

[B]

So what do you Mean, deleted the evidence. What?

[A]

Like, so she directed parents to pay into unapproved PayPal accounts, claiming that she was representing the school.

[B]

I see.

[A]

And then once they paid her, she deleted the evidence. Wow. And I always say with PayPal and Zelle, double, triple, quadruple check. Because once you send that money, baby, you're at the mercy of if somebody wants to send it back to you

[B]

within this economy, you won't get it back.

[A]

No, they won't get it back. They used to try to get it back for you, and they were like, why are we even doing that? Why don't we have customer service? Why don't we have a phone number where you can contact us?

[B]

You want to feel something? Go to Black Friday, bitch.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. You want to save some money?

[A]

Go do that. And now that Black Friday is gone, go to Trader Joe's. Okay. If you want to put some lead

[B]

in your salad, we promise there'll be a little bit of glass. Your salmon.

[A]

So let's get into the frauld.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And that's like, Fraulein, Fraulein. Fraule. Yes, I remember that. Fraulein is woman in German. This is going to be the worst German accent you guys have ever heard. You can kill me.

[B]

I'm impressed, actually.

[A]

But the Frau in Fraud, Muriel, is a single mom originally from Switzerland in the US On a work visa. Not you over here. See? And y' all arresting black and brown people talking about undocumented. But, baby, y' all let these white people come in here, all visas that they okay with a.

[B]

With a PayPal. That's just a strange phone number, you know? Nobody's questioning it.

[A]

You're right. You're right. Yes. Come on in. So she was hired at Kinder House, and also, Kinder House sounds like a scam. So sorry. Like, you. You invited people with your scammy ass name. Kinder House in 2013 as a program coordinator and was promoted to director in 2020. So she was really working her shit, because in seven years, she got her promotions, and she was a director, and she was from Switzerland. So I bet you she had that nice, good accent, and that helps.

[B]

And listen, that helps. Put a. Put a button down on that. And, yeah, I'm going to give you the key, the deed to the city.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. With an accent in America, they're like, oh, you f. Swiss.

[B]

Yeah, Swiss. White woman in a crisp blouse.

[A]

Yeah, she always got her hair in that. That bun. Okay. Yeah, that. You know what?

[B]

A country bun's powerful.

[A]

It is because it's messy.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And she's like putting her paper in front of her face. Like, don't get the sun on my skin. I must stay very white.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

I must protect my top bun.

[B]

But throw a dangle earring and may like a cutoff dress. I feel like it's decolletage out.

[A]

She's wearing a mother sweatshirt, which I'm into.

[B]

And also it's giving Balenciaga grunge chic.

[A]

Dere leaked also, like that bun is snatched up. She made it look more chill by letting us see one of the rubber bands is black. Cause it could have been blonde to match.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But it's so snatched up that it's almost giving. Like, is she Miss Trunchbull? Oh, is she serving Miss Trunchbull realness?

[B]

Is she gonna swing a kid around by their pigtails?

[A]

She might put him in the chok is giving Matilda.

[B]

You know who is a gay awakening for me?

[A]

Chocolate cake.

[B]

Miss Honey.

[A]

Oh, miss Honey.

[B]

She's beautiful.

[A]

She is beautiful. She's so sweet.

[B]

But it is. This is very trunchable coded. And you know what? Ms. Trunchable was a. Well, a hoarder of wealth. She was a hoarder of all the kids. Wasn't she stealing the kids money or.

[A]

No, no, she stole their joy. I don't know about their money, I think.

[B]

Oh, you know what? She was after Ms. Honey's house.

[A]

Oh yeah, that's what it was. And you know what? So she's giving miss Trunchbull. So that's probably giving them German. Like she's strict, so whole vibe with the bun. Honestly, babes, you're doing great. Cosplay as a director, she managed day to day operations of the school and supervised staff, coordinated payroll and managed tuition bills. Honestly, she had way too many jobs. What do you mean? She does daytoday, she does supervising of the staff and she does coordinated payroll. So she managed all the money. And she's also managing the tuition bills of the school. So she's taking the money and she's paying the bills. And dayto day, she's snooping on everybody to make sure that they don't know that she managing the money and whatever she doing with it.

[B]

Maybe she just got trustful.

[A]

So she. She busy. Honestly, like I'm not fighting a lady with titties that big. Like she looks strong. She could be mishandling funds. She could be misappropriating all the time. And I'll be like, I'm not questioning it. She knows what she's doing.

[B]

And frankly, like, are you very administrative? Are you able to look if you're like, finances and taxes are laid out before you, you're gonna know what to do with them. Because to me, I have such an aversion, like, my nervous system shuts down that I'm like, it's okay. It's okay. Steal my money. I can't be bothered to look at it.

[A]

I'm not stolen. I do make threats to my accountants. A light threat where I laugh, but I stop laughing. Very ashamed somebody tried to steal my money. Because, you know, it's not going to just be court. I'm gonna pull up on you.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. God, I'm glad I'm not your accountant. That's powerful.

[A]

Yeah. I need people to know. But also, I'm in the same stressful

[B]

place you gave a Paddington Hard stare.

[A]

So she worked at the school in the ground floor, like, of this Brownstone Right. On 6th Avenue. We saw the brownstone. It's kinder house. They meant real house. And it was on 6th Avenue and 9th street in Park Slope and lived on the floor above. So she just had to come downstairs for work. She put her bun on and her sweatshir came down and got to work. She currently rents two apartments at reduced rates from the daycare. So she's also getting a discount from the daycare to rent apartments. Wow. According to her now deleted bio on their site, Muriel helped to shape the growth and vision of the school and has degrees in international social work, public health, nursing, and social management. So basically, she had all the degrees to run a school.

[B]

Right.

[A]

She said she got social work for the kids. She said she got public health and nursing because, you know, the kids are a petri dish and they always getting sick.

[B]

And she can do the honeymoon Heimlich.

[A]

Yeah, she got the Heimlich. All pretzels. She can look for lice like nobody's business.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Okay. And she has social management, which, like me, is that I don't know. And that's why I love it.

[B]

I know it sounds. It's the most official.

[A]

It gets the people going.

[B]

Absolutely. And it could be anything from marketing to social work. We don't care.

[A]

We don't know the moms who are beefing over the bake sale.

[B]

Social management is like, hey, stay on the curb when you guys are talking.

[A]

Ladies drop off is like, right? Oh, she. Listen, Susan's doing schnitzels this month for bake sale. Like, she's. She's got it. And I Think this is why she was a great scammer. She has all these different. Like, I don't even know she really has these degrees. But what I do know is that she must have some kind of proclivity because she rose up among the ranks. She also had this business rent her two apartments, and she's running everything from how you to how you pay the money out in New York City. Right. So I feel like she probably had a bunch of RTS students who got a degree in German language and then realized they couldn't use it in real life because this is 2013. So this is right when millennials are coming out looking for jobs and people have specialty degrees. She said, over here. Specialty degree, baby.

[B]

And that's when that really matters.

[A]

Yeah. She said, I know you don't worry about your finances because you went to Yale for German, baby. Come over here. Now.

[B]

It's like, I went to Yale. They're like, okay, welcome to Burger King.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, what else can you do?

[A]

Okay, did you go to Yale of this Friday?

[B]

Exactly. Did you go to Yale of. Of boxing?

[A]

And honestly, all of these things are special skill sets, but it's like, if there's no skill set for what you just spend all your time learning, you're gonna have to learn another journey.

[B]

And if I'm hiring and I'm hearing those three accolades, I'm sold.

[A]

It sounds like you're well rounded.

[B]

Yes. And you got that top bun.

[A]

Forget it. She got vibes. She probably got vibes for the parents, top bun for the kids.

[B]

Absolutely. Code switching. Trunchable by day. Yeah. Gala by night.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. So German immersion schools, why do they exist? There are only about 50 German language schools in the US with about 7,000 total students. Exclusivity. At Kinderhaus, infants and young children go outside every day, no matter the weather. In the tradition of the European in Forest school, they are also fully immersed in German language and culture, including celebrating holidays like lan Sinterklaus. That's a. That's.

[B]

That's Dutch.

[A]

That's the Dutch people. Y' all ain't right for that. Sparta, Peace. That was slavery.

[B]

Jesus Christ, Don't I know it.

[A]

Yeah, we don't gotta get into that.

[B]

We stopped going there to the Dutch club when we saw that.

[A]

We go, let's get that out of here.

[B]

Look it up yourself.

[A]

But. And also another holiday called fashion. Not to be confused with fashion. It's fasching. It's spelled F, A, S, C, H, I, N, G. I'm dying to know what that is? Yeah. Well, Fashing is a Bavarian Marty Gr. And yes, it's also scary. Parades and revelers wear ugly, scary masks to scare away winter spirits. So this. Oh, that.

[B]

That is spooky.

[A]

How you gonna scare me with you. I'm not the evil spirit. Y' all must be, because what. What y' all got on.

[B]

And it's like, you can just do. I'm scared by one. We don't need a hundred parading the streets.

[A]

Yes. We could have had one mascot who was Mr. Fashing.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And he comes out and he does the boogeyman. Why y' all got a line of these? Like, I'm walking into some new age horror film.

[B]

And why they got all talk about saw that is Give him a bicycle. These are Jigsaw.

[A]

This is Jigsaw, but also like Jigsaw. Be like a old school jig.

[B]

He's the golden Bachelor.

[A]

The Golden Bachelor.

[B]

Jigsaw, but also a judge.

[A]

Yes, but also a judge. Judge. No. I don't like that.

[B]

And he's got three eyes. He's got one on his chin. He's a pervert. He's looking down people's shirts. Get that out of here.

[A]

Nasty. How you go. You look like the devil you trying to scare away. It feels like that would be more welcoming to me if I was a evil spirit. I'd be like, what's up? What's up?

[B]

They're going to be. They're going to want to date.

[A]

If I was evil, I'd be like, these are my people. Right?

[B]

This is. That's my type.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They don't scare me.

[A]

Scare me away. And then Lanterloffen, that one is where young children walk down the street around nightfall on November 11, St. Martin's Day, holding lanterns and singing traditional German songs. And the only German song that I know is from Choral Camp. And it's. It's like. And I think it's a song about a man murdering his wife.

[B]

And that's what's crazy about these languages, is that sounded really delightful. But it's also an Alpine divorce is what you're describing. They dropped her off a mountain. I love you so much.

[A]

Bye. And these babies. Why y' all got the babies walking down like. Also like, this is why you need

[B]

to write a letter to say your kid's not haunted. All of these kids are haunted.

[A]

Okay, you know what, Hannah? You were absolutely right.

[B]

What is this?

[A]

Drums? That is how you get into a Switzerland. German. Like Kinderhaus. You have to say, my kid isn't haunted because they ain't making them go on haunted marches. They got haunted like masks. And then beyond that. Remember when I said that they have the infants and the young children go outside every day no matter the weather In Brooklyn, New York. That means if it's snowing your baby outside, they like it's a normal baby

[B]

outside it's pale, your baby's outside.

[A]

Your baby outside. You better get a little mask for your baby so they don't get the rocks.

[B]

You better get floating out.

[A]

They're gonna cause they gonna pee outside. You're welcome cause like we raise em up tough. This feels like a German military camp.

[B]

110 degrees. Yeah we're gonna and your baby at the end's gonna do a tough mudder. Outside, outside. But imagine you're asleep and then you see the silhouette of your child drumming in your door frame with a lantern.

[A]

And it's like my little little baby no y'. All Wild robbery

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Jesus.

[A]

Which is twice the average cost of daycare in New York City than the out of state tuition rate for ucla.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

It's also about the same as what they're paying Muriel to do her job. The school is still open, although Muriel was fired in December and sued by the school. So Kendall House still exists.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But remember, Muriel was supposed to be getting $48,000 per year. Now she done embezzled 3 million. Whoa. Yes. So she was to supposed basically one baby's tuition for her entire year of work, which is a scam in itself. Pay teachers more.

[B]

Her. Her income was 48 grand.

[A]

That's what it was supposed to be.

[B]

And that's how you. That's how people turn on the system. Because that's. Teachers are the most invaluable thing we

[A]

have, which makes no sense because they are educating our youth. Yes, but that also makes sense when you think about the billionaire class. And it's like it's so much easier to control people if they don't know how to like comprehend things.

[B]

Well. Exactly.

[A]

Once you take out reading comprehension, it's easy to just put something in bold type font with a photo and people believe.

[B]

Absolutely. The disparity of the public school system in California versus the charter school system is so astounding. But it is setting people up for

[A]

failure and learning that we're almost above well around 50% of people in the United States who can't read above a sixth grade level. Like popcorn reading would be everybody's ass.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, I don't want to get into a physical fight at Black Friday. Let's bust out a book and go line for line, bitch. Line for line. And then whoever gets the TV at

[B]

the end, mortifying popcorn.

[A]

Like, it's all Colonel Reading now.

[B]

Nobody popping nobody's. And you know what they're not doing? Learning cursive. And I know it's silly.

[A]

No, no, it's not silly. Because you can't read old text if you don't know cursive and how you slow and deliberate. And you want a constitution if you don't know how to read cursive and

[B]

you're famously reading it every day after you do the pod.

[A]

I'm just saying, like, there's old texts.

[B]

You got a pocket constitution.

[A]

There's old Texas in cursive.

[B]

100%. 100%.

[A]

So are the kids signing their signatures now with block letters? Y' all go to the basement.

[B]

Everyone's doing a crazy ass.

[A]

Yeah, everybody's doing X. Like, what are we all doing?

[B]

I know. No, it's honestly, the. The practice of doing something like that slows you down. It's a thoughtfulness, any sort of patience. Now you can. Anything's available to you immediately. I've even noticed. And I've had to like, because I don't even realize that AI sneaks up into my life when I'll look something up on Google now.

[A]

Oh, yes. And I've been googling how to turn it off. And baby, they make it so complicated. Like, I literally turned. I like Google. Where is this restaurant? And the AI pop up like, hey, girl. Yes, hold on, let me pour out all this water, girl.

[B]

Let me give you a concentrate of everything you've ever needed.

[A]

There's a lot of wrong information, but I saw it on the Internet. I'm gonna put it in a line with bullet points. This good for you, right? I didn't ask for this.

[B]

Right. I didn't ask for this. And now I'm gonna remember an incorrect fact.

[A]

And also things like, don't let capitalism turn you into this machine because it's so bad for our mental health. And I know it's already happened, but, like, cursive was one of those things that slowed you down where you had to, like, be in life in the moment and try to figure out how to make a lowercase s. And we lived well.

[B]

And chem. It's proven, especially for creative writing, that when you have, like, pen to paper, like, I teach writing classes and. Or you type, it's a completely different cognitive experience where one goes analytical, one's in a much bigger hurry. And after 20 minutes of writing on a piece of paper, it unleashes your unconscious brain, your creative brain. You use your left and right brain.

[A]

We used to write. We used to write an outline in school. Then we would write our first draft, then we would peer review, then we would write our second dream.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And honestly, I kind of Wish in peer reviewing that I was more of a saboteur for fun. I was really trying to improve people's papers, but I really could have just been saying anything, and that could have been more fun. Sure. But, like, yeah, you're talking about releasing that creative space in that first draft. Then you do your second draft, and you've already locked in some things you didn't know, and now the girl is just getting out here and doing chatgpt for their papers. And like, it's repetition is how you learn things.

[B]

I think what's scary is people are teaching themselves how to do jobs right now because it's a sc. It's scarcity in the. In the. In the job market, and they're teaching themselves how to do the bullet points version of it. So now any job that anyone's doing, it's. It's. We know one fraction of how to do it, and so we're constantly having to look up how to do it. And that's so frustrating.

[A]

And.

[B]

But also in the defense of people, jobs go like that. So it's just the immediacy that we all need now, I think keeps us from feeling like we can invest time and energy into learning, especially skill or a trade.

[A]

It's crazy, but the payoff is like, I know that it's not instant, but I promise you learning a skill or a trade, y', all, Please tell y', all babies go whisper in their crib while the. Well, you know what? You should already be playing the episode in your baby crib while they napping so they can get it through osmosis. Okay, I know you got them listening to Mosart in the womb. Have them listen to me when they in the crib and then in the other room. You listening to this? Okay.

[B]

Then they're going to know how to

[A]

not get scammed, you know, like. Like and subscribe on Apple podcast reviews. Do a nice thing for a black lady. Give me five stars today. But back to music. Muriel.

[B]

Oh, yeah, our favorite gal.

[A]

So Kinderhouse obviously sued her, and they claimed to be a recognized German language diploma school that is supported by the German government, like a German government agency. But that's not true. So Kinderhaus is suing Muriel for stealing the coin. But Kinderhaus is also doing their own scam. That's probably why Morrill was attracted. Cause she said something about this house don't seem right. And they said that they were supported by a government agency. Just a government agency in Germany. Which one? We don't know who's gonn not me.

[B]

And it's Germany. And I think the assumption is like, well, housing is better, schools free. So if it's a government funded German agency, it's great. It's not a US one.

[A]

Unless I loved Berlin. There were some parts I didn't love, y' all know, but like, I did love Berlin, but like, I'm not gonna call them and ask them for things. No, not to confer these, you know, this information that they've given. So after news coverage of the scandal, the German consulate contacted the school and told them to remove that information for their website. So when Kinderhaus Su sued Muriel for stealing the coins, it became a national story, Right? That's how we know about it, Correct?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then The Germans were like, 99-999-9999. Kinderhaus. I've never met her. Who is Kinderhaus?

[B]

Well, yeah, they're like, you slandered the. Now I'm doing. But is that Scottish? You slandered the.

[A]

Kind of kids are very protective of their reputation after what ruined their reputation.

[B]

I don't know what you're referencing.

[A]

Yeah. But even like on TikTok, I'll be seeing them looking at what our. They're like, learn from us. Don't go. Y' all don't wanna be. I'm like, girls are working hard. I'm like, baby, everything that Hitler got, he got from the Jim Crow playbook. Please, we've been this bad.

[B]

They are on it.

[A]

They are. The HR was like, please, we don't need no more scandals. So what did Muriel spend this money that she stole on, Right?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Muriel got the stolen cash, right. And she spent like $3 million from parents where she was like, pay me house. And then, wow, she misappropriated the funds.

[B]

And we agree she should have been. So I think that this was stem. This stemmed from feeling underused. Now I'm gonna say underappreciated.

[A]

Giving me scammer just from the trunch babun and from her targeting obviously an institution that she probably feel that was a scam. It takes one to know one. She was like, everything I do over here, scam for scam.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Cars for kids, bar for bar.

[B]

But 3 mil, I think we could have.

[A]

Let's take it too far. She could have railed it in. I feel like at a cool 150. Yeah. A 150 a year scam, she would still be over there. Two, you know what? It's New York City.

[B]

It's New York City.

[A]

It's parked slow.

[B]

It's parked slow.

[A]

Let's go three if you renting out the two.

[B]

You know what? Okay, we're gonna go, but then let her have one separate account. That's kind of like her fun stuff. Mix games, you know? Okay, so we'll go 3:75. Yeah, 75 in a secret account.

[A]

Yeah. That's good. 3:75. So. But she also was there for several years, so maybe she was making it more chill. Because remember she started in 2013 and then she was a director in 2020.

[B]

Do the math.

[A]

Yeah. Somebody.

[B]

Not me. I don't know.

[A]

Between 2022 and 2025 is when she made over 450 flaudulent payments. So maybe it was like when she became a director, that's when she started really scheming.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So she did the work. The power of the earnest as an earnest teacher. Then she started to see the flaws in the system. Then 222 to 20 25. Within three years, she made 450 fraudulent payments to herself, spending more than $350,000 alone on professional wrestling tickets.

[B]

Oh, that's right. I blocked that part out.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we're coming back to it. Some of us want trader Joe's bags. Some of us want to spend $350,000 on professional wrestling tickets. And now that bu even more sense. This is her fantasy. She wanted to be. She should have just put. Got her one of them old school leather waist belts and been the trunch bull and got. And you know, got in there and start slamming on bitches.

[B]

I guess these are. They're expect. Because I know that even the pay per view option to watch wrestling is like a hundred bucks or something. So I can only imagine what tickets are to go in person.

[A]

Because wrestling is like a soap opera. Plus like. Yeah. Plus the live theater also. Also plus like a little bit of anime lore with the characters. And then you can also add in like the. So wait, what's the last one that I want to say? So soap opera.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Anime Live theater. And I'm gonna say pageantry.

[B]

Pageantry. And it's a little horny.

[A]

And it's also horny.

[B]

So it's like a little porny. Jason.

[A]

It's a little horny.

[B]

You know, you got hands all over greased up bodies. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And I'm gonna add one more. Jerry Springer. We're getting vibes.

[B]

Absolutely. And. And listen, let's say it. Republican adjacent most of the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And let's go ahead and remove the adjacent.

[A]

Yeah. Cause it's like, repression. It is. This is Black Friday on TV all the time.

[B]

And look, they are. It's like, why weren't you just a dancer? You know?

[A]

It's like, what?

[B]

Why didn't you just date that guy?

[A]

I love it. But then you get great quotes. Also comedy. Let's add comedy in. Cause, like, can you smell what the Rock is cooking?

[B]

That's true.

[A]

I never was on the show.

[B]

Okay, that's interesting. I do love the Rock. But I'm just saying, I feel like we see a lot of. A lot of people that. I don't love wrestling these days.

[A]

Oh, yeah. But that's because you learn about their personalities. Back in the day, you had to read a tabloid, and it was like, you really had to dig. Nowadays, everything comes up and we're like. It's like that one meme with spongebob, and they're like, girl, like, it's like, what? What?

[B]

It's like nowadays, if you're shitty, we're gonna support her.

[A]

Like, you could just keep that to yourself.

[B]

It's also like, don't be the bachelorette if you know we're gonna find something out that's, like, horribly incriminating, like beating people up.

[A]

If a real child.

[B]

It's just wild. And you see it with men a lot where I'm like, you think we're not gonna dig it up?

[A]

That network kn. There was no video footage, like. Cause there was, like, police reports and stuff. But video makes everything, I guess, real for people.

[B]

Sure. So, yeah, if we didn't catch it on video or record it, it still didn't happen.

[A]

So Mario was spending, you know, 350k on professional wrestling tickets. Too much, Mario. You overspent. But she was probably, like, front row. Maybe she was getting in the ring, feeling the sweat on her face in between the matches. Maybe she went backstage and walked down the long hallway. Who knows? She also spent the stolen cash on a lavish lifestyle, including the VIP wrestling tickets. Right. Luxury vacations, food deliveries. Now, y', all, you don't know. You can really rack up a lot of money.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Getting food delivered. I don't even. No, just anything like food delivery. Didn't used to be all the hidden and fees. Like, it just keeps going up and up.

[B]

And the problem is, once you have your order and you're presented with how much it is, it's too late. It's too late because you imagine yourself

[A]

you've already clicked all the.

[B]

But I'm like, I'm not going to defrost a nugget at that point. Yes.

[A]

Oh, it's so hard.

[B]

That's where they get you avocado on.

[A]

You put avocado on that. You put.

[B]

But then you're like, do I want organic avocado on top of that?

[A]

Avocado.

[B]

Avocado. Listen, cilantro Being a $50 is crazy.

[A]

It's a leaf. And also, I'm not. I'm not trusting organic avocado from nowhere that I'm ordering it from. Because maybe if I go to the grocery store, maybe I'll sniff it and rub on it and see. Maybe it ain't got no poison on it, but if I'm getting it from an establishment that is mass producing anyway, baby, I don't believe it's organic. Y' all just throwing on.

[B]

Throw that mass produced avocado in your $10,000 tote.

[A]

The organic ones just be smaller. They be like, no, it's small, it's organic. Don't. No, please don't put.

[B]

I know organic. Organic is smaller.

[A]

I think they're just smaller.

[B]

And then I'm like, that's just genetically modified.

[A]

Am I supposed to lick it and know what a pesticide tastes like? I never. I don't know.

[B]

We should do a. That's a separate episode of all. Yeah, we try the organic version and we try the.

[A]

The one that's 151 healthier. So Muriel also did something causal that I don't love that scammers do. She was bragging about the WWE VIP treatment on Instagram. The VIP experience for Monday Night Raw usually costs more than $2,000 per person. She also spent more than $150,000 on ride sharing and other $150,000 on food delivery. So she was on Uber Black. She was on Uber Eats. She was on black premium black car.

[B]

Let me ask you this. When you call an Uber, are you like, it's got to be an Uber Black.

[A]

It depends on where I'm going.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So if I'm going to the airport and yes, because of certain scenarios, I can't get into the place in the airport that's the most convenient or get out of the airport. If I'm going up the street day to day, I'm looking at the prices. Also, there's two types of Uber Black. And like, I hope that me saying this isn't going to ruin this y' all community. Keep this within yourselves. Okay? Uber Black. Like, they'll show you two blacks. It'll be a black car and a black suv if the price is different for the Black car and the SUV. I always just pick the car because nine times out of 10, the SUV Social.

[B]

Yeah, I think that that's a flex that you're allowed to say, because there's enough Ubers to go around.

[A]

There are.

[B]

As long as we're not taking. Who's those things? That thing tried to maul me.

[A]

We would all be way more safe if they weren't on the road. Like, get the out of here.

[B]

But then I did have an Uber driver the other day who was watching Disney's Ice Princess on an iPad, mounted the whole drive, and I was like, you know what? I respect it better than a wayo. I don't know.

[A]

You got it on the mount. Okay, I know. And he's seeing traffic in between the dart. You know, like, he'll probably.

[B]

I was like, it's bumper to bumper. Let him watch a Disney classic.

[A]

Yes. He's being comforted.

[B]

He needs some whimsy.

[A]

She also took frequent luxury trips, often every other weekend. She also rented two apartments in Park Slope, which cannot be done on a $40,000 salary.

[B]

And why do you need two in the same borough?

[A]

Now, I'm gonna say that Muriel needed to be rich, because I know a lot of rich people who don't know what to spend on their. Like, spend their money with. Now, I think $350,000 on WWE, that's your passion, so I'm gonna let you have that. But the luxury vacations every other weekend, you were living, honey, you were living your life. It's not like you were giving this money away to somebody. You're right. Like, you were living your life like it was golden. You're right. And she covered up the theft. Cause you were just saying that 48,000 ain't giving. Right? She was covering up the theft by manipulating the school's internal accounting system to falsely show that the payments had been deposited into the school's bank account, then deleted emails that would have revealed. So by her falsifying those, like, documents and then deleting her emails that had the paper trail of the fake PayPal. Remember, nobody was the wiser. Wow.

[B]

And here, look. It is Bri. This is Taylor's oldest sign. They are brilliant. Like, it's like, that is a smart person. It's just too bad that the powers are directed towards that, you know? I mean, and not the kids.

[A]

My thing would have been, though, Marielle, you can't run this grift forever.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And I just got to cut. I wish that if. If you want to go to Wrestlemania, you Don't need to spend 350k on that. You don't need to be going every week down the tunnel, baby, and, like, dapping up, I don't know, the. The Warrior Princess or whoever, doing wrestling right now. Like, you could have did little splurges here and there, saved a fuck ton of money, and then quit that school, moved out of the city and not let them people find you again.

[B]

But that would require saving. And I think there is this naivete and this idea that this is gonna

[A]

keep coming, the money's gonna keep coming.

[B]

Listen, she's. She's choosing abundance.

[A]

She is.

[B]

She's just making it happen.

[A]

She doesn't live in a scarcity mindset. She doesn't. No.

[B]

So may we all learn from her.

[A]

The Swiss connection to the Swiss German school is. Is that when a school staffer asked how Muriel could afford her two apartments, along with constant trips and shopping sprees with such a small salary, Muriel said that she was the offspring of a wealthy Swiss family in Basel.

[B]

God, I gotta say, these are. She was brilliant in this scheming. Like, again, not going to question that either.

[A]

She kind of gives Nepo energy. And the way she spins, the way she talks. And then also, it's a little Anna

[B]

Delvey coded in the way of, like, there's just. She exudes a power.

[A]

And the more out loud it is that topknot. It's really that top, not power.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I'm like, I gotta try a top. Not follicles are yanked up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So she's on high alert all the time.

[B]

And the top not's tricky. Right. Because if there's too many frazzled hairs. But she's got it. If they're all shellacular. Now, that's chic. Right?

[A]

See, I think if they're all shellacked back, it's not giving that. I work with the children.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Like, she's giving a little, like, whimsy. Like a few blow in the wind, but a light, dry texture structure about her knot. Is that a lot of knots? Like, when it comes to, like, a slick back bun on a white girl, if a stylist isn't doing it, sometimes there's always, like, a bump right here, right before it goes into the middle.

[B]

Believe me, I know. I think we could probably. Let's zoom in. It's probably right here.

[A]

She doesn't have that bumper bump right there. No, like, zoom in.

[B]

That bump's a different tax bracket than me.

[A]

Like, and then she's got just some whimsical little baby hairs flowing in the wind.

[B]

It's true. If you have a.

[A]

Just.

[B]

You need a couple wispies. Two, two wispy. You've been stuck in a rain, in a windstorm, wind tunnel.

[A]

But a few wispies. And she has demure earrings on. She does have a full face of makeup, but like she's wearing muted like essentially, but like neutral tones. And it's a hoodie. So she's like, I'm not, I don't even care about this label. This is just a little hoodie. And she could brag about her trips and shit. Because I think that obviously whoever this teacher was who's feeling the weight of their student loan debt, the weight of going to travel to Park Slope, dealing with these bougie ass parents, knowing German and everything, they're seeing this lady float around making all this money and they're pocket watching.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

A hater will bring you down.

[B]

Absolutely. And you know, but. And it's such a smart scheme because it's like, I'm not going to question a European person that says that they come from wealth. I'm like, well, isn't that by definition what it is to be European? Switzerland is like, I think it's the most expensive country in the world.

[A]

Yeah, it is. Yeah. They make a lot of money. They're like highest per capita. Yeah. Like, and like their income. And on top of that, the whimsy of being in America and saying that you're from Switzerland. Yes. Is like a lot of people who have money, like, send their kids to America to just do dalliances until they're ready to get married or whatever. Right. So it tracks that she would take a cheap. Because she's not in it for the money.

[B]

You know what she is? She's a novelist. Yeah. What she's doing. This is creative writing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's real. The backstory is rich and vivid and illustrious. And I gotta give her that.

[A]

And also I love that she said that she was from this rich family because it's also giving. Like, I'm just here for charity. Like, I do collect a salary. But like, but like I don't have

[B]

to work, but I do.

[A]

Cause I'm charitable.

[B]

Totally. Not only do I go to the gate galas, I help the kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I burp the babies.

[A]

Yeah. And that gives me a one up on the women who just go to the gay list because I actually help with the kids.

[B]

And I don't know if you know this, but I'm the social communications officer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'll never tell what that means

[A]

because you don't need to know.

[B]

You don't need to know.

[A]

So the principal learned about the fraud in October of 2025 and had to use her own personal savings to meet payroll and operational obligations for the school. Like, baby Muriel. That's what I'm saying about you need to, like, get your foot off the gas. Like, keep the school up and running. When the lights start to turn off, when the kids can't get they schnitzels, like, and they're not.

[B]

And then the last one goes. They're not taking the kids outside anymore.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The kids are inside.

[A]

Well, no, I think that's the thing that they are definitely doing because that

[B]

was keeping away from the computers.

[A]

Like, the kids weren't on no computer. They were outside in the elements. So you had that on your side. Baby, what are you doing? Wow.

[B]

So we gotta be questioning this slide.

[A]

I bet you ain't even have, like, a slide or nothing back there. They were like, make your own slides.

[B]

Get rocky, Build a bed.

[A]

Here's rock and stick. Make baseball.

[B]

Start fire and make fondue. Yes.

[A]

So at her court hearing, Muriel was ordered to surrender her passport, wear GPS monitoring, and stay at home. On curfew, she can leave the grounds to shop for groceries and take her two younger children to elementary school. Her oldest child is homeschooled, so her kids weren't even in this drama school. Wild.

[B]

But also, that's how secrets are kept. Keep them at home.

[A]

Yeah. Because kids be talking Kids.

[B]

Kids don't know how to keep a secret. Don't tell the kid about an engagement. Are you crazy?

[A]

And if she was doing wwe, if some of the kids were old enough, she might have been dropping two grand on them to be at the VIP experience.

[B]

Absolutely. If there's one thing that WrestleMania is good for, it's babies.

[A]

Yeah. And you know what? A baby gonna blab.

[B]

A baby's gonna gon blab.

[A]

I used to wonder as an adult. Now when my mama as a kid was like, when we go to family functions or anywhere, I would be out with her, she'd be like, what happens at home, stays at home.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And I'm thinking to myself, nothing traumatic has happened. We don't have no deep, dark secrets. Ain't nobody in the basement type shit. But she saying, like, just don't be ying about, like, something embarrassing that I did that day or something that I don't want somebody else to know.

[B]

Like, exactly.

[A]

My mama wondering when you going to pay her back for your car note.

[B]

Yes. Exactly. My mom feels really guilty about something that she said to you. Like, do you want to apologize? It's like I said that to you in confidence. Seven year old. Yeah, but. And also that's the purity and sweetness of a kid.

[A]

Of a kid. Cuz they just refuse.

[B]

Like, why would we keep a secret? And we're like, that's to be an adult, honey.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Only as good as our secrets.

[A]

My mama said she saw you spending some of that Go Fun Monday on a purse. It was just skipping away.

[B]

Keep her home in the basement in the chokey. I'm misjunchable.

[A]

My mom said she stopped when she would stop bringing food to the potluck. La la la.

[B]

My mom said she didn't like your food at the potluck. Yes. That's worse.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. My mama said your casserole nasty. La la la la la.

[B]

Friendship over.

[A]

Literally. That's how you gotta keep your kids quiet. So she was smart to keep them homeschooled. Cause they would have been like, my mom's stealing outta school money. La la ye. So prosecutors said the money is all gone and probably can't be recovered. With like $1 million going towards travel, entertainment that can't be regained and another million that is unaccounted for. That's just so crazy. She was released on a $200,000 bond. If found guilty of fraud and money laundering, she could get up to 20 years in prison. Wow.

[B]

No. And that's. That's a step up from curfew.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're like, sorry girl, you can't go clubbing in Park Slope.

[A]

She has kids. I think the school itself is already a scam. Kinder House Germans were like, we don't know them. We ain't never been to that house.

[B]

I don't want her to go to jail for 20 years. I don't want that.

[A]

I don't want that for her either.

[B]

I just want her to learn a lesson.

[A]

I want her to learn her lesson.

[B]

I want them to up the wages at Kendall House.

[A]

Yes. Kinder House needs to up wages.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I want her to learn her lesson. And I want her kids to have their mama with the top knot.

[B]

I want that too.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I want. I want. And it's not the kid's fault at the end of the day. And I want to go into Kinder House and understand why it's 50. $50,000 to go outside and learn German.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Really? We can agree a scam in its own right.

[A]

And that brings us to the end of historic hood Wings. Good luck to you, Muriel, and to the wwe. You lost a big contributor. I hope y' all can still abort. Y' all afford y' all, like, waist belts and, you know, body lotions. So scammer of the week, keeping on the Switzerlands, we're gonna talk about this Kit Kat heist. So the Internet is on fire. This, like, right now because of this big kit hat heist of 2026. So a truck carrying 413, 793 Kit Kat bars was stolen after it left a factory in Italy en route to distributors in Poland on March 26. The thieves were posing as law enforcement outside of Turin, Italy. So they. They restrained and removed the driver. Imagine being a driver. You don't driving no bank truck. You not driving no secure, like, money truck. You driving a kit.

[B]

These are Kit Kats.

[A]

You supposed to be whimsical. You adjacent to the ice cream man.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

Like, your truck could have music on it. Like, dun, dun, dun.

[B]

Get sparkled. Give me a break.

[A]

Yeah, give me a break. And they was like, we gonna break your legs.

[B]

He's like, give me a break. He's like, give me a break. Come on.

[A]

They were like, you need to break us off them Kit Kat bars. And we break your legs.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Like, why would you do that to him?

[B]

They only speak in puns.

[A]

They only speak in puns.

[B]

And that's the whimsical part. They're like, we're gonna rob you, but it's gonna be in puns. But it's gonna be in puns.

[A]

And it is for chocolate. Wow. So they restrained and rem. And they took off driving the truck. They said, don't even get it out. We're gonna take the truck, babes. No one was injured, but the truck. And the truck.

[B]

Him out of the truck. Missed on the freeway.

[A]

Yeah, they yanked him. They yanked him on the street. The chocolate's missing. Yes. And honestly, I feel like because he's driving Kit Kat bar truck, they kind of did something smart here. Because if I'm gonna yank somebody out of a car, I bet you a Kit Kat truck ain't locking them doors.

[B]

Absolutely not. They're not in the front. It's just chocolate. They're like, this isn't even Ghirardelli. This is a Kit Kat.

[A]

This ain't even Ghirardelli. Y.

[B]

This isn't Nutella. This isn't Godiva.

[A]

This ain't Godiva. We ain't got nobody on no horse. We ain't got no Lady Godiva or nothing.

[B]

We're just.

[A]

This ain't talble.

[B]

Love a Tobleron.

[A]

Love a Tobleron.

[B]

This is just a wafer with a little bit of chocolate on top.

[A]

Like, we gotta think.

[B]

I love a Kit Kat.

[A]

I love a Kit Kat.

[B]

When I would trick or treat and you put all your candies in the piles. Love a Kit Kat. But would trade a Kit Kat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For a Reese's.

[A]

I don't like when Kit Kat started doing individual Halloween candy. That was one Kat. I'm sorry. Y' all are Kit and Kat.

[B]

You need to be.

[A]

I need to be able to do a break.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

That's the one thing you have that's not the break. Give me a kit and give me a cat. I don't want just kit. Now. The truck was shipping 12 tons of new Kit Kat bars. Now, I don't know why they said new, because are they gonna be old. Yeah. So probably a new version. Oh, look at that. We got a Kit Kat car. I want. That's what they. To be in Kit Kat Batmobile. So the truck actually wasn't sending, like, individual Kit Kat bars. It was sending a 12, like, 12 tons of new Kit Kat bars made as a brand partnership with F1 Racing in the shape of an F1 car. So the chocolate bars had been sculpted. They had wings.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Stylized tires. And intricate detailing in the design.

[B]

And chocolate cobblers.

[A]

They had chocolate cobblers on these Kit Kats. So these are new Kit Kat bars that were in the shape of these F1 cars to capture the imagination of racing fans.

[B]

This is why the elves need to unionize, because this is crazy. They did not protect.

[A]

And this is ahead of the European Grand Prix season. And chocolate fans, right before Easter. So KitKat became the official chocolate of F1, which I'm like, in F1. I guess you do need a break to get the juju, the ties.

[B]

That's actually very smart marketing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Quick, quick snap.

[A]

Yeah. Give me a quick snap and get my car back on the road.

[B]

But give me a kit in a cat. Give me a. I'm hungry from all this. Driving a car around.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're like, make that make sense to me.

[A]

So during F1's 75th anniversary and KitKat's 90th anniversary, this one they linked up. So KitKat's parent company, Nestle, headquartered in Switzerland, has been making a meal of the crime. Their official statement said that they appreciate the criminal's exceptional taste.

[B]

Wait, that's so. I love. I love a compliment. A strange compliment.

[A]

That's a baby. That's almost like you're getting. Like, those are sabotage, right? They're like, yes, our candy is worth being stole. Let's raise the price on all of it. Because they're like, watch out.

[B]

That was a getaway car. But speaking of fast cars, Ferrero Rocher, you ain't.

[A]

Has anybody ever robbed y'? All? No. Yes, that's true. Got rappers. Get out of here.

[B]

Get out of here.

[A]

And then you get a black market Kit Kat. Oh, y' all let me know if y' all get a black market.

[B]

This Kit Kat tastes like danger, and

[A]

it's so fast and dangerous.

[B]

This Kit Kat tastes like a boyfriend that's no good for me because he drives over the speed limit and he does donuts.

[A]

This cat. Cat leaves me on. But also Vin requests me.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. This Kit Kat watches all my stories, but he won't text me back.

[A]

I love that KitKat 400,000 KitKat bars would be worth about $750,000, according to some estimates. There are no reports about the value of the truck itself. They don't give a fuck about the truck. They said, fuck that truck. Okay? This is about Kit and Kat. Nesmit took over a media also.

[B]

It's a truck. Was it a Pimp My Ride truck? Like, I don't know.

[A]

I feel like the driver called the company and then the news showed up and they wanted to interview the driver. And the Kit Kat representatives, like, pushed his ass out of the way. No, no, no, no.

[B]

And he.

[A]

He's fine.

[B]

He's good.

[A]

He's fine.

[B]

He's good.

[A]

Let's talk Kit Kat. He's fine. They tie him up. We untie him. Let's talk Kit Kat. So the shipment wasn't publicized, but the marketing push around F1 bars was already in motion. The stolen Kit Kat bars could have made their way into underground chocolate markets. But they can be traced between Kit Kat Fight Club.

[B]

First number one rule of Kit Kat Fight Club.

[A]

Don't talk about Kit Club. Don't talk about Kit Kat Fight Club. You be in there like, Kit Kat.

[B]

Kit Kat, Reese's Kick.

[A]

Yes, but they could be, you know, on the. The. The cat market. The chocolate market. Not the black. Not the black market. The chocolate market. Okay, Is where I'm at. The chocolate market. But they can't. They have a batch code that can be tied to each bar, which is hilarious, cuz who's gonna do that? In a way that makes this stuff a bad idea. But on the other hand, making this limited edition product even more limited, you know, by stealing hundreds of thousands of them will push up their value in the black market.

[B]

All that. Wow. Because it's more of a novelty. Oh, that's so funny.

[A]

That is why I hope they sell them to some billionaire who's throwing some, like, secret evil party. And then like, a bunch of rich people like, oh, my God, we had the. We had the kit Kat F1. And are they really do that instead of, like, weird crimes to people? Like, have, like, steal kit Kat F1s and show people the original Mona Lisa?

[B]

I'm okay with this crime. Yeah, I'm okay with this crime. It is.

[A]

We're gonna give you a break.

[B]

Yeah, we're okay. We're break on this one.

[A]

All right. And speaking of break. This isn't a break. This is the end of the episode.

[B]

Partying with such sweet.

[A]

Sorry. Hannah, it was so great to have you here today. You were such a delight.

[B]

Oh, this always just further confirms that I am not good with computers and I am not good with lying.

[A]

You know what I'm excellent at? You. We always ask at the end of the show, where would you like to be found? Anywhere that we can find you on socials or anything you want people to watch or tune into. See you live, whatever that may be.

[B]

You can find me on Instagram at Hannah Pilkis. H A N N A H P I L K E S. Uh, you can find. I have a sh. An hour called Skiing that I'm taking around la and then we'll eventually be taking around the country. So you can find dates on my social. Watch me on Leigh Ann. And in the new season of Hacks.

[A]

Yeah. Yes. We love it. And as always, scam, scammers. If y' all haven't come to one of these live shows. The last live show is April 30 at Cobbs Theater in San Francisco. We will be recording. If you don't have your T. You better get them before they're gone because these actually were the fastest selling. And if you don't live in San Francisco, get to walking right now. You got two days, honey. Y' all know I'm gonna have merch. I'm gonna have books. I'm gonna have all types of things, and we're gonna have a good time and a good key. Y' all can follow me at D I B A L A C I. Diva Lacey on all platforms. Lacey Moseley on TikTok. Scam Goddess Pod podcast on TikTok. You can follow Scam Goddess Pod if you wanna see all these photos and all the lovely things that me and Hannah talked about today. And you can watch Scam Goddess on Hulu. You can also watch Going Dutch on Hulu right now.

[B]

I just don't think you work hard enough, Lacey. I think. Do you have one hour in your life?

[A]

Oh, I'm working on it. I'm working on it. And that's why, congregation, I want y' all to get out there and give yourselves a break. Yes. Scam Goddess. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Moseley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros, and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming. Still figuring out Mother's Day. We can arrange that with edible. It's easy to send a gift mom will love without the last minute stress. Order online in just a few clicks and choose delivery or easy in store pickup. From fresh fruit arrangements to chocolate dipped cheese treats, edible makes it simple to celebrate mom with something thoughtful, delicious, and beautifully made. This Mother's Day, skip the scramble. Send a gift that feels special and let edible help make it all come together.

[B]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.

[A]

Even if it means sitting front row at a.

[B]

A comedy show. Hey, everyone.

[A]

Check out this guy and his bird.

[B]

What is this, your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize and save on

[A]

car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married.

[B]

Me to a human, him to a bird.

[A]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a quote at libertymutual. Com or with your local agent.

[B]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.