Extreme Couponing

Summary

Scam Goddess: "Extreme Couponing" (August 11, 2022)

Host: Laci Mosley (w/ Co-Host Priscilla Davies)
Context: Bonus "Confessions" episode, reading and riffing on listener-submitted scams
Theme: Listener confessions and the surprisingly wholesome world of coupon and small-time restaurant scams

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Episode Overview

This edition of "Confessions" dives into funny, eye-opening, and occasionally heartwarming listener stories about petty cons—focusing on coupon shenanigans, restaurant hacks, and workplace mini-heists. Laci and Priscilla keep the mood light and irreverent, celebrating the spectrum from "good girls" getting accidental discounts to servers moonlighting as coupon scam masterminds.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Moving Woes and the Con of Renting (00:02–07:00)

• Laci and Priscilla open with apartment horror stories—elevators that don't work, rude building managers, and advice for renters to check Yelp reviews before signing leases.
• Laci’s advice: Always check reviews on your apartment’s management company:
  "Check the reviews because you will learn so much by looking at those and seeing if the rental property is a good place or if people are f**ed up."* (03:59)

2. Customer Service Weirdness & the Better Business Bureau Scam (06:50–08:07)

• Laci rails against pointless customer service battles and the illusion of the Better Business Bureau's power:

  "The Better Business Bureau ain't sh*t. So don't be trying to wave that around in the store." (07:44)

• Advice: kill front-line staff with kindness, not complaints—employees don’t own the damn rent.

3. Listener Letters: Accidental Coupon “Scams” and Chipotle Mishap (08:34–17:01)

• Listener "Cassandra" writes in about a Chipotle order sent to the wrong address, which customer service partially refunded and reissued a coupon for.
• Laci and Priscilla gently roast Cassandra for her "scam":

  "Cassandra, you must be a good girl. Cause I don't know if there's a scam in here." (14:28, Laci)
  "We need you in the world. I need somebody who get a little thrill up they leg from like, 'they gave me nine nuggets when I ordered eight.'" (14:37, Laci)

• Takeaway: Sometimes the sweetest people see minor windfalls as high crimes.

4. Scam Theory: Can You Game Food Delivery Refunds? (13:04–16:52)

• Laci debunks the idea that you can routinely get free food by claiming you ordered to the wrong address—major apps are much hipper to this “scam” than you think.
• Episode Theme Emerges: All about couponing, hence the title “Extreme Couponing.”

5. Listener Letter 2: The Real Coupon Scam at ‘Benny’s’ (Denny’s) (20:01–35:45)

• Listener "Genuine" (not the R&B singer, though a whole riff ensues) shares a multi-year coupon con as a Denny’s server.
• Scam: Applying unused in-house coupons (buy-one-get-one, discounts) to dine-in orders after customers paid full price, pocketing the difference.
• How it worked: Their Point of Sale (POS) system didn’t flag the coupon use if the register balanced out at the end; even credit card payments could be “skimmed” by taking equivalent cash out of the till.
• Memorable quote:

  "I started taking coupons that we had laying around in the back and applying them to customers orders that were paying full price for their meals. ... So I could pocket the $10 they would have saved had they used a coupon. Oof. I like this. That tastes good. It's tasting really good." (28:11, Laci)

• Laci and Priscilla both cheer on the scam, since the only loser is a big, faceless chain restaurant.
• Discussion of risk vs. reward: $150–$200/week (approx. $600–$800/month).

  "That's very good... $600 a month from theft is very good. Genuine, you did it." (33:12, Laci)

6. Philosophy: Stealing Small vs. Serving Wealthy (35:06–38:49)

• Laci reminisces on the supposedly “better” world of fine dining—and how corporations steal from staff via tip-pooling, electronic tip cards, and deductions:

  "High end places are f***ing robbing waiters ... I would drop like $9,000, $10,000 in tips, and I will go home with $400."

• Both hosts agree that the dignity of Denny’s—where the expectations are lower and the giggles are higher—might actually be a better hustle.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On people enforcing rules they don't benefit from (06:07):

  "People who fight for rich people's money. Just the weirdest sh*t to me." – Priscilla

• On "good girls" and small cons (14:37):

  "I need somebody who get a little thrill up they leg from like, 'they gave me nine nuggets when I ordered eight.'"

• On being a 'beautiful' as natural-born talent (18:00):

  "Honestly, sometimes you make a whole f***ing career off of just being beautiful. People try to act like that's not a talent when it is." – Laci

• On the ethics of service industry cons (29:04):

  "You're just stealing from Denny's and, like, I don't know. F*** them." – Laci

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Fun Tangents

• Riffing on 'Genuine' (the singer): extended jokes about his discography and classic R&B memes (21:06–23:53).
• Waffle House vs. Denny’s:
  Waffle House = gun violence but delicious (27:33, Laci);
  Denny’s = “IHOP with roaches” (27:15, Laci)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02–07:00: Renter woes and life advice
• 07:00–08:07: Better Business Bureau is a scam
• 08:34–17:01: Cassandra's "scandalous" Chipotle coupon story & gentle roasting
• 20:01–35:45: Denny's coupon scam confession, detailed breakdown
• 35:45–38:49: Service industry philosophy & fine dining scam analysis

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Closing

The episode concludes with the hosts reaffirming their belief in small, victimless scams (especially against big corporations), encouraging listeners to "snitch" with new confessions, and joking about creating a “Finsta” for confessions. Laci teases future themes and the persistent need to “stay scheming,” ending on a playful callback to R&B meme culture and giving listeners the permission to be just a little bit bad, sometimes.

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Best summed up in two quotes:

"Stay scheming." – Laci Mosley

"Send your scams to [e-mail]—just make sure the scam is retired!" – Laci & Priscilla

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Perfect For:

Listeners who want to laugh about (very) petty crime, anyone grateful for a job but willing to bend the rules, and those nostalgic for the golden age of paper coupons.

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Summary by PodcastSummarizer.ai — Always stay con-fessing!

Transcript

[A]

What's poppin, Congregation? We're back with another installment of Confessions. This is the bonus podcast where me, Lacey Mosley, and me, Priscilla Davies, read your listener letters, where you snitch on your friends and family and as always, snitch on your friends and family at scam. Got his pot at gmail dot com. Just make sure your scam is retired because we don't want to up your bag. Look at how professional that introduction was.

[B]

Congratulations.

[A]

We made it. We're back.

[B]

I have a feeling this is going to be our best episode. This is the one we're going to win the.

[A]

The award for. Yeah, the Indian podcasting, which, yeah, definitely is going to be a category 100% soon. So we, you know, we listen to your letters. We. We record a lot of these. So we're. We're actually, like, in the bag right now. We're in the pocket. But I'll still ask you. I'm going to check in with you, Pete. How you feeling? How are you doing?

[B]

You know, I'm feeling great. Life is good. Let's see. Has anything. Oh, guess what's not working again.

[A]

No. The elevator.

[B]

Oh, Lord.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

You know, let me tell you, I got a fucking message from my spirit guides, my ancestors today because I was thinking about moving, and I was like, yeah, I think, like, you know, the message that I'm getting is like, it's time for me to move. And as soon as I thought that in my head, I heard ding.

[A]

And then.

[B]

And I look and it's like my. It's, you know, the elevator's, like, falling from side. No, no, no, no, no. It's my. It's my, you know, my voice, my message. Text messages.

[A]

Oh, it's a text.

[B]

Okay, It's a text.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So for me, when that ding happens, anytime that happens in my life, whenever I'm, like, thinking something and I hear ding, I'm like, to me, that's the universe saying, ding, ding, ding. You're fucking right, Right? So when I said, like, yeah, I think it's time for me to move, then that shit said ding, I was like.

[A]

And it was like me sending you a meme, right? No, no.

[B]

Well, you know what it was. And then I go to look, and I was like. I was like, oh, shit. This is them telling me, like, yes. And then I go to look, and it's 11. 11. Okay. Damn. And then when I look. Yeah. And then when I look at the text message, it's from the building manager saying that the water's gonna Be turned off tomorrow. So I was like, yeah, this is the universe telling me, baby girl, it's time for you to.

[A]

It's so hard to move, though. I remember I helped you move into this place.

[B]

Yes. So. So many years ago.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So many years ago. Oh, my God. I'm such a good friend.

[B]

Such a good friend. She moved one. No, I don't even remember. I can't even. No, I moved.

[A]

I moved. Hella shit. That was actually crazy, though, because then, remember, like, the glass in your car broke or something? Like, weird.

[B]

God, my rear view window.

[A]

That's. Cause your car was like, we don't need to move in here. No.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Well, it's a cute place, though. The place is super cute. It's just like the elevator.

[B]

It's the management company. It's really the management company. And I definitely plan on dragging them when I move out on the Internet, but I'm gonna wait till I move out. But. Because they have a lot of buildings in la and it's so crazy. If you go to their freaking Yelp, they have like two stars with like 200 plus reviews. And I obviously didn't do this before I moved in because, you know, I wouldn't be worn.

[A]

Guys, Yelp, if you're living in a. If you're renting, AKA you're a millennial. One of my comedian friends, Pahlavi, she tweeted, do what you love and you'll never own property in your life.

[B]

I love Pallavi's tweets.

[A]

She's so funny. But like, yeah, follow Paula on Twitter. But yeah, like, we're all renting, so I never thought, like, oh, go on, Yelp. See what the building reviews are. See what the management reviews are like. But guys do that because you will learn a lot of shit. And I wish I had done that. I. I live in a building now that I'm like, it's fine. It's actually fine. It's way too expensive. It's a mortgage on a house, a very expensive house. So I think I'm gonna try to. I'm putting in the universe. I'm gonna buy a house or at least a condo.

[B]

This year.

[A]

I found one that I was like, oh, I might need to jump on it right now. And it's actually in the neighborhood of my friend who I went to her condo and I was like, y' all got any more of these condos around here? Like, scratching my neck like a crackhead. I was like, y' all got any more of these around here? Y' all got more condos? Yeah. How many condos y' all got around here? Like, so. And then they sent me a listing for one that just opened up in the neighborhood. So we'll see. But I think that's like, I'm gonna, you know, anyway, like, check the reviews because you will learn so much by looking at those and seeing if the rental property is a good place or if people are fucked up or whatever. I had my rent on autopay, and I guess autopay turns off after a year. And we have new managers now. And this new manager. Why does motherfucker call me while I was in Maui? With attitude, honey. With attitude. And was like, you haven't paid your rent and like, auto pay turns off after a year. And I was like, okay, so this sounds like something that you should alert people about. This sounds like. And he was like, well, if you don't want to be charged. I was like, no, I'm not going to be charged. Even if I don't pay it right now, I'm not going to be charged because this is your fault. I was like, I am a paying. Like, I paid an absorbent amount of money as a deposit. First, last, and a deposit. So three months rent.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

And the rent is high. So it was wild. And I pay my rent on time because I have auto pay rent. So, bitch, you're not charging me shit. Fuck you.

[B]

And yeah, but I didn't like his

[A]

tone, so I emailed him and was like, and I didn't like your tone. Next time, do. Do what you need to fucking do. But also like, why are you getting attitudinal about some shit that you don't fucking own? I just saw a joke about that on the Upshot, which is one of my favorite multi cams.

[B]

I'm coming back to that, too.

[A]

Yeah, it's one of my favorite multi cams because, like, it's a multi cam where people just be cussing and, like, it's wild. I love it. But Mike Epps, like, goes into a store and, like, sneaks around the back. It's like some sneaker head situation. And the woman is like, you need to wait in the line like everyone else to get these shoes. And he was like, do you get paid more if I follow the rules? And she was like, all right, come on. No, that's right. So, sir, why are you shaking me down like, this rent is yours.

[B]

And there it is. It's like, dawg, you working for the. That's like, when Remember when my fucking. They narked on me, my old managers. Cause I was trying to start a revolution in this building against the managers

[A]

that would be televised and that podcast

[B]

that was 100% gonna be televised and literally livestreamed to the Confessions audience. And this fucking guy went and knocked on me. Like, you overheard my fucking conversation that you weren't a part of. You went out of your way to call this goddamn company to tell it'. Like, don't you know what side you're on? You're with the proletariat. Like, what are you talking about? You know, like, stop. But, yeah, people who fight for rich people's money. Just the weirdest shit to me.

[A]

Yeah, it is. I'm like, it's not yours, baby. And I think we all should use that. Like, use that, y'. All. When you go to a place or you and they trying to enforce the rules on you and some shit just. Just lean into the employee. Don't get. Because I. What I've learned is, like, if you try to be indignant about shit, or do they. And customers always write shit. Oh, baby, they not. We not playing those games out here anymore, okay? Like, don't try to get indignant. Don't try to get big. Don't try to yell or say you're going to complain to the Better Business Bureau. I already told you, that shit is a scam.

[B]

TV has done nothing for anybody.

[A]

They just put Bureau in a name. And then niggas was like, oh, yeah, they must be doing something. No, they're not a part of the government. They're literally just a website that, like, will bribe businesses to pay to be on it. And then they can also bribe the businesses to. Or, like, hold the business hostages and be like, oh, if you want us to take down a bad review, just slide some coins this way and we'll get rid of this review. The Better Business Bureau ain't shit. So don't be trying to wave that around in the store.

[B]

Good to know.

[A]

I think you gotta just smile, be polite, and say, look, I appreciate your dedication to this job, but do you get paid more if you don't let me do what I'm trying to do or no, okay, like, are you getting. Like, what do you get out of it? If you get something out of it, like, let me know. But if not, like, just let me do my thistle. Like, come on, now. You know you gotta smile and be.

[B]

You get way more. It's like, they say you get way more bees with honey. But the problem is, for me, And I'm the type of bitch that my honey is sweet. Honey. When I'm giving you that honey. These motherfuckers want to do shit for me. But when I'm angry, I want revenge.

[A]

And I don't want. The Craig comes out. We're just gonna call it the Craig now.

[B]

The Craig. The Craig comes out. Yeah. So anyway, should we get into this?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

All right, so let's get to our first listener letter. It starts with, hi, Miss Lacey. Girl. Oh, that sounds fun. I'm excited. Okay, so come up with whatever fake name you'd like. Thank you for that permission. You're good at that.

[A]

We're gonna do it anyway.

[B]

Yeah. So what is her name?

[A]

Oh, her name is Cassandra. Came to me very quickly.

[B]

I like that Cassandra. So elegant.

[A]

What a lame life name. We gotta bring Cassandra back. I don't know any Cassandras anymore. I guess Cassie. I guess Cassie's are Cassandras. Yeah, I only know that one. That's like, you've been waiting so long. I'm here to answer your call. Look, that's how you know you're a bad bitch when they're like, I don't know, just whisper on the track. You fine as fuck. When they see you, they gonna like the song. Like, it's me. And. Yeah.

[B]

She's so beautiful.

[A]

She's so beautiful. It's ridiculous. It's unfair.

[B]

I love you, Cassie.

[A]

We love you, Cassie.

[B]

If you want to be on Confessions, just hit up Judith. Hit up our producer, Judith. She'll get you on.

[A]

You have to hit her up, though. She's very busy. She really is. So you hit her up.

[B]

And it better not be from an unidentified, right?

[A]

Cassie, we know you free, okay? You have your babies with Alex. Fine. Who's very fine.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

She had two babies now with the. With that white man with the girl eyes. Girl eyes are what I call men with, like, very pretty eyes that I wish I had long eyelashes. Yeah, long eyelashes and pretty eyes. I'm like, those are girl eyes. Give me those eyes.

[B]

Oh, I gotta look him up. Damn. I didn't know she was even settled.

[A]

Okay. I didn't know she was even settled. You so shame. Yeah, she's not chasing after P. Diddy no more. She gave that up.

[B]

I thought she was just out here being a baddie, but that's cool. Kids are fun, too. Anyway, so. No, I'm just kidding. Okay. So. Love the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to keep it. But thank you for listening to your fans and keeping. Anyway, Chile, this is Where I need

[A]

to get to skip it down for Cassandra.

[B]

Cass.

[A]

Cass, we love you.

[B]

So Cass writes anyway, Cham the scam. So you're getting this hot off the presses because it wasn't intentional, but it might be fruitful in the future. So hear me out. I never thought I'd have something worthwhile to submit, but here I go. And apologies if this is hurried. It's a first draft. No, we like it fast.

[A]

Yeah, no, we. We like it fast.

[B]

We like it fast.

[A]

Only in this context, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Actually, no, I like my sex fast too. I don't know where people got that whole making love all night. I don't want to make love all night. I have jobs. I have like five jobs. No, we be all night. No, we are not all night. We can be 10 minutes. Thank you so much. We can go again. But, like, we're not gonna be all night. No, no, absolutely not. I have things to do. Are you kidding me?

[B]

I mean, like, I'm. I. I'm a slow. For those slow lovers out there. You can call me at 1-800- come get this cooch.

[A]

I wouldn't have had to come get this cooch. Now listen, I'm not a fast. Now don't be two minutes. But you know, 10 is. I feel like 10. 15 if there's four. Play 25. Maybe 20.

[B]

I mean, I don't really need. I think there's a difference between, like, fast sex and like, intentional sex. Does that make sense? Yeah, you can have sex, slow sex in 10 minutes.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. That's true. It doesn't have to be jackhammering away. No, I've definitely had some sex like that. Oh my God. I fucked a DJ that like. Oh my God. I don't think I've ever slept with a straight man before. That's what I realized when I slept with him, I was like, everyone has been queer.

[B]

Yeah, you just turned a hard laugh that no one asked for.

[A]

I know. I fucking dj guys. I get it now. I get why you fucking DJs.

[B]

Lacy only dates gay men. So line up.

[A]

Look, I'm fucking queer. I don't know. I guess I put the queer energy out there and this is what I get. But this man was very, very straigh a dj. And the Wowzers, I get it. I'll never sleep with them again. But I was like, ooh, that's what's up. I get why y' all be ruining y' all credit for these niggas.

[B]

Like, okay, them and bartenders.

[A]

Oh, woo. Steve. On Sex and the City. I get it now. Steve was knocking these bitches down. And I'm like, that's real life. That's real life.

[B]

It really is. It really is. Okay, Cass, back to what you were talking about. Okay, so I'm visiting my parents, fully vaxxed. Hip hip hooray. And we ordered Chipotle for dinner. I'm in grad school out of state, and accidentally ordered the food to my address out of state instead of my parents house. And so I had to cancel the order. They said that. Oh, you have?

[A]

Yeah. And they didn't give me my money back. I was in D.C. i was in D.C. and then I went to New York, like right after. And so then I tried to order food and it ordered it from D.C. and then they were like, bitch, we can't bring it to New York. And I was like, okay, cool, cancel it. And they're like, no. And we're taking the $120.

[B]

It was 120 bucks.

[A]

Yeah, it was bad. So I get it. So she canceled the order. So Cassandra got to cancel.

[B]

She was lucky it was only Chipotle. That's why they were like, oh, okay, throw it away.

[A]

Or somebody probably ate it. They was like, oh, we just gonna eat it in the back Chat.

[B]

Right, Exactly. So they said they'd refund my card within the day. So I went ahead and reordered the food to my parents house, but doordash is still sending me notifications that it's being prepared and about to be delivered, even though there's no way that could be true because I just reordered it. And so I figured they were still prepping and delivering the out of state order. So then I texted my neighbors like, hey, if you want free Chipotle, please have at that. Because I'm not even home. And because I'm a sweetheart. Thanks, Gas, for letting us know that the rep from Chipotle even gave me the coupon back that I had used for one free entree. But instead of expiring today like the original coupon, it expires, I guess, on June 22 instead. So I realized this is a two level scam. One level. Cassandra, you must be a good girl. Cause this is.

[A]

Cause I don't know if there's a scam in here. Cassandra, Cassandra, I know you a good

[B]

Christian when I'm reading this. And I'm happy people like you exist. Cause I'm like, where's the gap?

[A]

We need you. We need you in the world. I need somebody who get A little thrill up they leg from like, from like. Oh, they gave me nine nuggets when I ordered eight. Ooh, I'm gonna send this scam goddess. You're so innocent. I love this.

[B]

Cassandra, you're scared.

[A]

Meanwhile, we'd be like, I stepped in the joint and I was like, blah, cat, cat.

[B]

Just started spraying as soon as I walked in. Just started spraying.

[A]

We're criminals. But I love this.

[B]

We are criminals. So I realized this is Cassandra again. So I realized this is a two level scam. One level of the scam is just ordered to a friend's address or an address near you, and contact their customer service saying, it's the wrong one. They'll refund you, which Laci debunked, and they won't.

[A]

And then maybe on doordash, they down bad. But Postmates was like, bitch, absolutely not. You made a mistake, and that's on you. And also, fuck you. We're adding fees. We're adding fees.

[B]

We're actually giving you a negative balance now. So, yeah, you owe us money.

[A]

You owe us money.

[B]

You owe us money, dummy.

[A]

Goofy, dumbass.

[B]

Then reorder again to wherever you actually are, and then you have twice the Chipotle for half the cost, assuming delivery fees are the same between the two locations. The other level applies. If you have a coupon that's about to expire that you're not ready to use by the time it's about to expire, do level one, and then you'll. She just lumped it there. Where's the end this letter?

[A]

Cassandra, Cassandra, you're scamming us. And I'm proud of you because I needed you to do something scam related. Okay? I don't recommend trying this. Guys, don't try this at home, because I'm telling you, it did not work for me. Or maybe. Maybe it depends on the app that you use. Maybe we'll. We'll call this episode Extreme Kanponing. Couponing. That pun doesn't work. But, you know, we'll. We'll find something that works in there because it's all gonna be coupon related today. Look at that. We got a theme. Boom, boom, boom. We finally gave you a theme, guys. Just had to hang in there. We're just warming up.

[B]

What is this, episode 12? I mean, what's the big deal?

[A]

Okay, yeah, we hit our stride now we have themes again. Okay.

[B]

What the fuck?

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Yeah, I want to give a shout out to Cassandra for giving me faith in humanity again, because she's just like, wow, you really Are a sweet, sweet girl to send this in and really think you was doing something.

[A]

Oh, I love it. I love that she had. She thought that this was something.

[B]

She was like, yo, did you know that if you fucking send in a coupon and then tell them. Psych. They'll give it back and then extend it. Yo, that shit's crazy. Don't put me in jail for that, right?

[A]

I feel like she probably wrote this, like, in the. Like, under a blanket, like, in a closet. Like, from, like, a. A secret email account location. She's got private browsing on. She's got the VPN on. She's like, I can't have anyone knowing about this crime that I'm doing. It's so bad and nasty. Cass. Cass, we love you. Just like Cassie, the beautiful singer. Who? I mean, we'll say singer, but she's a singer. The beautiful.

[B]

The beautiful singer. Very beautiful. Just beautiful. We'll stop it. Beautiful.

[A]

Cassie, the beautiful Cassie, the beautiful. Honestly, sometimes you make a whole fucking career off of just being beautiful. People try to act like that's not a talent when it is.

[B]

It's called being a model, Lacey. You can make a whole career off of being. Oh, oh, being a model. Okay? That is a career.

[A]

No. Cause not all the models. Not all the beautifuls are models, you know, Kim K. Is not a model. She's just a beautiful.

[B]

True. But she. I mean, yeah, you know, like.

[A]

Like. And if you really a bad bitch, you become like, Helen of Troy. Ain't no way.

[B]

Starting wars and shit, right?

[A]

Starting wars and shit. We ain't never seen what that bitch looked like, but we know she was a beautiful. And we wasn't even alive. Like, this bitch is hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years old, and we still like, she was just a bad bitch.

[B]

She was so beautiful. She was so beautiful.

[A]

She was a beautiful. She was a beautiful. And I'm like, that's a talent. People try to take that away from beautifuls. And I don't like that. Because if someone can sing, y' all acting like you can. You can absolutely hone your craft of singing. The voice is a muscle. You can practice. You can do things to make your singing better and stronger, and you can learn things, right? But if you weren't born with the talent, then you don't have the fucking talent. If you are tone deaf and you can't sing, you can work hard for the rest of your life, you're never gonna be able to sing. So it's like, if you're born with a Whitney Houston mouth box, like throat box. Like, that's like, I don't have a Whitney Houston throw box. I can sing a little bit. I can't Whitney sing. And I studied real hard, so it's like, that's a talent. Just like being a beautiful. Like you were born being a beautiful nobody, you know, you can't control it. I don't like that people minimize being a beautiful.

[B]

Lacey has some thoughts on this. She basically, she's like, stop hating on me, congregation. Stop hating on Lacey's beauty. She's sick of it. You heard? Yeah, you heard right.

[A]

But let's move on.

[B]

You can conclude.

[A]

Let's move on here too. Here too. For with. What's the next you want to read? You want me to read?

[B]

You know, I'll read this one too. Why not?

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

I love it. Yes. Get some work in. What's her name or their name?

[A]

Their name is genuine.

[B]

Ooh, I wanna ride. That's not.

[A]

What was that?

[B]

Is that his song? No, no.

[A]

Let's keep sweat Nobody. Yeah, that's nobody.

[B]

Who can say? I know, I know you guys.

[A]

Which I do love that meme.

[B]

Oh, what meme?

[A]

The meme that, like, it used to be very popular with a picture of Keith Sweat and then it just said nobody.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Wait. Yeah. Okay, if you're not gonna do Pony, then you gotta do those jeans.

[B]

Yeah, okay, you're right.

[A]

Is there any more room for me in those jeans looking sexy? I can't even say sexy. Looking sexy. Very scrumptious. I think that nigga saying the word scrumptious.

[B]

Oh, my God. What? Can you quick name a third genuine song? Go.

[A]

Why would you do this to me then? That's where I found out Pony in those jeans. Wait, I got another one. I got another one.

[B]

No, I don't. I'm drawing a full on blank.

[A]

Nothing. No, we know another one. I have to google that because we do know another one. We know genuine because in those jeans

[B]

it's kind of obscure. So I'm like, he must have only had Pony.

[A]

Yeah, he had them Pony. Let's do it. Okay. Oh, oh. Oh my God, we're so fucked up.

[B]

What?

[A]

So anxious. Meet me at 11:30. Oh my God. Let's do a new TikTok trend. You know they're doing that Usher where they're like, it's seven o' clock on the dot. Where's Usher? And everyone's like, oh, cruising the streets. We need to do like, it's 11:30. Who are you about to Meet and no one will ever get it.

[B]

And that's. That's the. That's the game. That's the game.

[A]

That's the game. Meet me at 11:30 and love it. When you're talking dirty, who are you meeting? Maybe if we did it like that, we gotta give him more context.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it's at this point you might as well just give him the lyrics.

[A]

So you're anxious. You're gonna meet me at 11:30. You love when we're talking dirty. Who you meeting?

[B]

You know what?

[A]

Nevermind.

[B]

Where was us at 7 o'?

[A]

Clock?

[B]

Cause this isn't gonna. Okay, so we got genuine in the house, spelled with a G. Oh, wait,

[A]

he did the best man I can be from the best man movie.

[B]

Oh, he did? Yes.

[A]

And he did Stingy. That was in the barbershop movie. I guess this was just singing soundtracks.

[B]

He had same OG that was now that's a winner.

[A]

That was in Dr. Dolittle.

[B]

Even though I might be on TV,

[A]

I'm the same OG oh my God,

[B]

are you changing me?

[A]

Cause I'm the same og

[B]

okay, what are we doing here? Let me read this.

[A]

Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah, you can read it. But also like genuine. I'm so sorry. We gonna put some rest respect on your neck.

[B]

We love you, daddy. And you're a daddy now. Actually, you're probably a grandfather now.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you guys.

[B]

Because every time it takes young. All them motherfuckers, they do.

[A]

Do he still got them braids?

[B]

No, he has, he has. Did you see the video of him backing it up and people making fun of him? And then they put him. They photoshopped a chair in there. Like he's moving a chair. You didn't see that? Oh my God.

[A]

I'm gonna have to look it up after this.

[B]

Okay, so genuine. Back to what we were talking about. So Years ago, between 2007 and 2011, I worked as a server for a very popular 247 diner that rhymes with Benny's in Southern California. Hmm.

[A]

Jenny's, Kenny's.

[B]

Kenny's, Renny's, Rennies. That's right.

[A]

Pennies.

[B]

Pennies. That's it. Pennies.

[A]

So Denny's obviously good.

[B]

As you know, tips make up a huge portion of a server's income. Unfortunately, for a good chunk of time. Of the time I was working there, we. I live in an area that was very hard hit by it, and I wasn't able to find a job anywhere else for quite some time as most businesses around me were closing. I felt fortunate Enough that at the time to have a job at all. But I just wasn't making enough money to make ends meet. The sharp decline of sales. Damn.

[A]

Genuine, genuine. You are a good person. This is also a good person episode. Because.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

You were grateful to work at Denny's. And that's. And if I worked at Denny's. And listen, I waited table. So I can say this. I'm not coming from a place of judgment at all, but if I worked at Denny's, just like, much like when I worked at any restaurant that I worked at, I would show up to work every day and be like, God, I fucking hate this place. I want to burn it down.

[B]

Yeah. I would have had to, like, talk myself out of killing myself on the way there.

[A]

Literally every restaurant I've ever worked in, I contemplated how I could successfully burn that bitch to the fucking ground.

[B]

Oh, my God. I can't. I mean, my God.

[A]

So I appreciate this energy of, like, you were grateful to have employment. I'm gonna try to do that more often.

[B]

It was really sweet. Yeah, I felt that way, too. I was like, wow, that's.

[A]

That's beautiful.

[B]

I was gonna call him a simp, but then I was like, no, no, he's a good person. He's a good person. You don't know what a good person is. Like, Priscilla. That's why you call him a simp. I've never been around good people in my life. I'm from New Jersey, for God's sake. Right.

[A]

People are nice like, you fucking simp. You're not gonna. You're not gonna be an asshole simp.

[B]

You're not angry every time you show up at work.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

So I knew I had to do something, and fast. Business had become so slow that the company started sending out coupons via blast email and postal mail a lot more often than they normally would, trying to entice customers to come in. These coupons would range from buy one, get one free to buy one meal, get the other 25% off, et cetera. In addition to the coupons sent out, we always had stacks of coupons in the restaurant that we were encouraged to give customers to use on their next visit.

[A]

Okay, buy one, get one free. That sound like a date to me.

[B]

Mm, that sounds like love to me.

[A]

Right? No, it has to be love. You can't be, like, dating. It's like you going on a date with somebody that you already partnered with, and you gotta buy one, get one free.

[B]

I mean, you can do that on a first date. You just gotta Be slick.

[A]

Yeah. Don't let me fucking catch you using a coupon on the first date. I'll kill you.

[B]

Also, if you took me to Denny's

[A]

on the first date. We're fighting.

[B]

We're fighting, fighting.

[A]

We're fighting.

[B]

And I'm not coming, so I'm going to fight you somehow, but not a day.

[A]

Also, Denny's is random as fuck. I've actually done standup comedy at a Denny's.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

They let you do anything in there. They really.

[B]

The fucking free brawl in Denny's.

[A]

Fucking free brawl. I saw a video that always goes viral every now and then on Twitter of, like, a band. Like, a rock band. Like, they were, like, thrashing at Denny's.

[B]

At the Denny Mosh pit. And Denny's.

[A]

Yeah. Like, what is going on? Denny's? They, like, look, we just trying to get in here. Y' all doing comedy. That's. That's cool. Order some Grand Slams.

[B]

Okay. Outdoor patio.

[A]

Get y' all yuck yucks on. We don't care.

[B]

Denny's to me has always been.

[A]

You get sausage licks. Come on.

[B]

Denny's has always been, like, the bad IHOP to me.

[A]

I get. See it always, like, when I hear Denny's, like, the word, it does make me think of, like, roaches. I don't know why. It just feels like the IHOP with roaches. And I'm so sorry, Denise. I'm sure y' all are doing all right. But, like, Waffle House makes me think of gun violence, but also d. Deliciousness.

[B]

I've never actually had Waffle House, and even if I wanted to, now I'm just scared.

[A]

Oh, no, you gotta do it. I had waffle. I had Waffle House in Atlanta.

[B]

Oh, that must be amazing.

[A]

3:00am Like, a real nigga.

[B]

And a fight didn't break out.

[A]

I'm sure one did. You know, you just keep eating. They be shooting next to your eggs there. You know, it's America. What you gonna do?

[B]

My eggs got grazed.

[A]

My eggs got a little gunpowder on it, but they actually make them a little spicy. It make them taste good. Tastes really good. It tastes good.

[B]

Tastes delicious. Okay. So genuine. Eventually, I was fed up enough and broke enough to start doing what I knew I needed to do all along. Oh. This is how I became a villain.

[A]

Great.

[B]

I started taking coupons that we had laying around in the back and applying them to customers orders that were paying full price for their meals. I feel like I know where we're going here. So, for example, if a couple would come in and order two meals. And each meal were worth $10. I would charge them $20, give them their change, and then go into the POS system and apply a buy one, get one free coupon. So I could pocket the $10? Yes. They would have saved had they used a coupon. Oof.

[A]

I like this. That tastes good. It's tasting really good. Oh, my goodness. So you was just skimming some off the top. And listen, the customers didn't know about the coupon, so, you know, I don't think you're stealing from them. It would have been nice to be like, oh, y' all could have a coupon. But, like, why would you do. And also, like, you just steal it from Denny's and, like, I don't know. Fuck them.

[B]

Yeah, I'm always down for stealing from a corporation. You're never gonna get a complaint out of me for that.

[A]

Never.

[B]

So we had a POS system that was designed perfectly for this. I imagine me saying purrfectly. I don't know.

[A]

Anyway, purr.

[B]

Cause he's evil now. Okay. If a guest came up and paid for their meal, the system would allow us to print out a receipt for the transaction without actually finalizing the transaction. I love it. The system would not recognize the payment until you actually push the finalize button. So I would print the guest a receipt and then go back into the system and open up the check, apply the coupon, and pocket whatever was left over after the coupon had been applied. Yes, I did this. Even if the guest paid with a credit card and would just take the cash out of the register.

[A]

Now you getting spicy. Cause, like, cash. Yeah, genuine. I'm so anxious. Cause, like, cash I get. Cash is easy, untraceable. But how are you doing this with cards? If they were. If the management was smart.

[B]

So he would. I guess he would. Oh, that's how he would do it. He would take the cash equivalent out.

[A]

I know how he did it, but I'm saying, how do you not get caught with cards? Because cards aren't genuine. Like, they're not garnering more cash for the restaurant. If someone pays a $20 cash transaction and you take 10 out because you did a coupon, then that's not traceable. But cards, it's like, we know how much cash transactions we have. We know how many card transactions we have. I don't know how you do that.

[B]

I mean, unless maybe their POS system is set up where it's just like, you just give us the cash you owe us at the end of the day.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And it doesn't matter. We don't pay attention to if it were it came from.

[A]

Clearly no one's paying attention.

[B]

No one. Listen, Denny's didn't get to be on every block in every city by people paying attention. There it is. There it is.

[A]

No, you're right.

[B]

So I did this. Okay. Yeah. So management never complained about this as long as the register was even at the end of everyone's shift. They didn't care where. See, they didn't care where the money was coming from as long as all the checks were accounted for one way or the other. This worked especially well when customers would come in and order one of the more high priced items at the restaurant. For example, if a couple ordered a two steak and shrimp dinners that were $25 each.

[A]

Shrimp dinners.

[B]

Scrimps. They got scrimps at Denny's.

[A]

They got scramps at Denny's.

[B]

I mean, they have steak.

[A]

They got steak at Denny's.

[B]

I thought I was just here for pancakes, bro.

[A]

Y' all are. Y' all are hella wild for ordering scrimps. And you getting surf and turf at Denny's, my guy.

[B]

What are you.

[A]

Your stomach is strong.

[B]

Strong also. How much does it cost? 14.99.

[A]

Right. Are these real scrimps? It's giving like dehydra. The little sea monkeys that be in the ones that are in the noodles and the ramens.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, the little sea monkeys. So if a couple ordered two steak and shrimp dinners that were $25 each, I could easily make 25 bucks in one transaction. I did this for years and as a result would make on average an extra $150 to $200 a week, in addition to my hourly pay and tips a week.

[A]

Okay. I was hoping that you were gonna say a shift.

[B]

That's what I thought. Genuine. I don't know, man. This is like a lot of risk for very little reward.

[A]

Yeah, genuine. I feel like you should have been robbing harder, but I mean, honestly, genuine couldn't.

[B]

It's Denny's. Everything is 4.99 or below to be switch.

[A]

True. So, yeah, hopefully you lived in an area, though, where this money goes further. That's what I'm assuming is the situation is like the money goes further there.

[B]

Yeah, I'm assuming you're probably living in, you know, a place where, you know, minimum wage is like, I don't know, you're probably living in a place. 725.

[A]

745, exactly.

[B]

Yeah, but I mean, but also that

[A]

but the cost of living, hopefully in that area is comparable to that. It has. It really isn't anywhere because minimum wage is way too low. But, like, hopefully, like, that 150 was actually, like, it seems like it must have been helping. Like, it must have been good.

[B]

I mean, well, if you think about

[A]

it also, you're not gonna get caught if you're stealing that little of money.

[B]

There it is.

[A]

So that's also smart because like, extra 150 to 200 a week means that's like $600 a month that you made extra from theft.

[B]

That's very good.

[A]

You know what? I'll take it back. 600amonth from theft is very good. Genuine. You did it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Six. That. Wait, so that's 600 to 800. Because he says up to 200 bucks a week.

[A]

Yeah. So 600 to 800. So for theft. Oh, and you don't even gotta do no extra work. You just do it a little coupons. Okay. No, it's great. It's great.

[B]

Ginuwan, I apologize for disrespecting your scam. Yeah, 100%. Yeah.

[A]

When you gave us the weekly number, it wasn't really hitting for me. But then when I got the.

[B]

We live in la. That would do nothing for us.

[A]

That would do nothing for us. That's gas. Like, but literally gas.

[B]

That's actually pre panic at the disco gas.

[A]

Right?

[B]

It's not today.

[A]

The Panorama gas, Pancetta gas. And it ain't even gassing like it used to have gas. I finally got some gas. I think my cousin must have went somewhere good. Cause he gassed in my car the last time and we both been driving it it for a couple weeks and I haven't had to fill it up. And I'm like, nice, but. But when I was getting gas, when it first surged, I was paying like over 100 for a full tank. And when I tell you that was running out in like two, three days, I was like, what kind of cocktail again, y'?

[B]

All?

[A]

This a gas spritzer. This ain't the full gas. Y' all gave me half gas, a little bit of soda water. What's going on?

[B]

You watered this down?

[A]

Yeah, I'm telling you, I. I think somebody's watering down that petroleum. But this time around, the gas is gassing. So I need to figure out where he got gas from. Cause.

[B]

Yeah, let me know. Cause I need that gas.

[A]

Yeah, it's really gassing right now.

[B]

So the best part of this scam is that the more coupons used the more the company would send out. Would I do it again? Absolutely.

[A]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

Hell, Benny's. Benny's quotes.

[A]

Fuck Benny's.

[B]

As someone who's come from the service industry, both of us, you have to be a certain fucking breed to work at a place like fucking Denny. I never listen. I have worked. You know, I'm not a. I'll work when I need to work, I need to make money. I'll fucking work. I don't care. But you'll never catch me working at a fucking Denny's. Diners and Denny's and shit. Like ihop. Nope, not for me.

[A]

I kind of get the appeal, though, because when I really started looking at the money, because, like, a lot of these corporations now, like, they're stealing from the wait staff. I mean, they always were stealing from them, but, like, the higher end places are fucking robbing waiters. Like, I was like, oh, I have a college degree. I'm gonna work in the Hamptons and be Paul McCartney server. I'm gonna, you know, work at these expensive ass places and wait on Taylor Swift and Adele and, you know, which I have, like, the Kardashian, some, you know, Kylie Jenner or whatever. But what I noticed was, is that they were like, one. They try to put our tips, our fucking cash tips on a tip card. So then some random ass company gets money from us swiping the card and they're taking their transaction fee off of it when it's like, nigga, the whole reason that I wanted tips was so the government is involved. And so they're cash y'. All. And you're splitting it with everybody. You're splitting it with the bar, which makes sense. You're splitting it with your other servers. That got on my nerves. You're splitting it with some back of house people that we had to be like, all right, bro, now y' all need to slow y' all rolls. Not too much. Like, I'm not giving the dessert chef my tips. Pay that man a salary. What the are y' all doing? Like, y' all cheating. Y' all cheating. It was crazy. I used to drive, drop like 9,000, $10,000 in tips, and I will go home with 400 fucking dollars. It made no sense. And so, you know, then now, and this is dealing with, like, petulant clientele. This is dealing with people that, like, you get a chit, which a chit is like a little piece of paper that tells you, like, oh, this person is important. They're a swan. They're whatever. This is what they like you sitting at the table, you doing everything. You pre ordering their drinks. You setting up this whole experience. They're picky as they're to meant, mean as. And like, you're not really making money like that. And so I'm like, kind of like, damn, maybe I should have worked in a Denny's. Because at least at a Denny's, you go and be like, what you want here you go. And you don't gotta be nice. You don't gotta worry about nobody. Dennis trying to chat you up like these rich trying to be funny with me. And I'm like, you're on a date. Be entertaining to each other. Don't try to tell me a story. I'm busy. Get the out of my face. I don't want to. I don't want to convene with you.

[B]

Like, I'm not here.

[A]

But at a Denny's, I'm sure you can just slap the food down and be like, here the bill. Like, I don't know, it might be something to it.

[B]

But then you're you. You know, I mean, how much money can you make at Denny's when surf and turf is $25? I mean, but they not. They're not like diner. They. And they grind too, like diner servers. And Denny's is just a diner.

[A]

Right, but is it like a higher turnover, I wonder? Because, like, we have, what, like an hour and a half max at fine dining establishments? Unless you're fucking rich as shit and they'll let you sit there forever. But, like, at a diner, like, isn't it, like, everybody getting out and, like, 45 minutes, if I could turn a table in 45. But then maybe the $5 add up.

[B]

But think about that. You have to turn. You have to do how many goddamn tables to get the same that you would have gotten, you know, serving your four little tables on.

[A]

I honestly think it might be the same energy, because serving those four little tables, it was like, okay, I gotta get drinks. I gotta refill water. Oh, it's small plates. I gotta get them more food. They want this. I gotta order this. You know what I mean? So it's like you are serving like you're serving a billion tables. It's just one.

[B]

True, true. I just. Yeah.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Mm. That was just never gonna be for me.

[A]

No. I mean, I definitely got, I think, probably more money than I would have gotten out of Denny's for sure. But I also, like, was exhausted and hated everybody and throwing the place down.

[B]

I commend genuine for really, like, being a good person. But then seizing the opportunity to be an evil person when the opportunity presented itself.

[A]

And I mean, it's a corporation. Denny's is doing fine. Obviously they liked what she was doing. Cause they was like, oh, the coupons are working him. Let's send more. He was like, perfect, Perfect.

[B]

Send more. This is actually a really great scam. I mean, I fucking respect it and I'm glad. It seems like you didn't get caught, which is excellent. I wonder how long he was able to pull this off. I hope whatever you got, genuine. Like, however much money you got, you were able to do something with that. Buy a car, put a down payment on something like, genuine.

[A]

I'm glad that you didn't have a hater manager, because a hater manager would have been like, genuine. Seems to be the only one using the coupons. So weird. Genuine. You have the most coupon usage in the restaurant.

[B]

That's so weird. You have money bulging out of your pocket. Genuine. Genuine.

[A]

Are those new shoes? We don't pay you enough to buy new footwear.

[B]

Genuine. Where were you at 11:30?

[A]

Were you meeting someone at 11:30? Wait, what if you said. What if I said it like this? I was like, who are you meeting at 11:30? And are you talking dirty, Tarkin?

[B]

Talking dirty at 11:30?

[A]

I love you talking dirty.

[B]

So maybe, like, what do you like at 11:30?

[A]

Oh, you know what? You know what? We just have to say genuine.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Cause genuine's the answer. You can't say.

[B]

This is like, this is jeopardy. The answer is the question. The baby is the grandmother. The grandma was the baby.

[A]

Cause they were saying seven o'. Clock. Like, where's Usher? So you. There was more hints. It was like, seven o' clock on the dot. Where's Usher? But how do you do it with Ginny one? It's like, I think what we're going

[B]

to have to do.

[A]

Who are you meeting at 11:30 and are you. And what are you doing when you meet?

[B]

First of all, I think the first step we need to do is get the lyrics right. I think that might be the first step.

[A]

Those are the lyrics. Meet me at 11:30. I love when we talking dirty.

[B]

Cause so anxious. So how about this? How does JennyWine feel at 11:30?

[A]

Yeah, maybe they feel anxious. They don't.

[B]

I can already hear the congregation booing us, right?

[A]

This doesn't work. I want it to work so badly.

[B]

We're gonna figure it out for next episode. Don't you worry.

[A]

All right, guys, as always, snitch on your friends and family. Just make sure Scam is retired and Scam got a spot at gmail dot com. You can. We have not plugged ourselves at the end of these episodes.

[B]

Oh, man. That's right. Yeah, you can. You can find. Oh, this is. Yes. You know, Congregation, you guys know, I've struggled. You've been on this journey with me and I have an announcement to make. Guys, I have finally found a name, a handle that works for multiple sites, and I like it. So you can find me at prissthegoddess.

[A]

Ah, yeah, it's been crazy. I won't lie. Like, when I tag you and things now, my fingers just get a little titillated. Just. Thank you. It's great.

[B]

It's a great handle across all platforms, honey.

[A]

Yes, you can find me at D I V A L A C I Divalacy. You can find. The main pod is at Scam Goddess. Maybe we need to make an Instagram for confessions. Maybe Fin.

[B]

Yeah, we'll do a finsta.

[A]

We'll do a finsta. I don't know what will be on there, guys.

[B]

We'll figure it out.

[A]

We'll figure it out. But congregation, stay con. Fessing. Is that what we were saying?

[B]

Stay scheming.

[A]

I thought we were saying stay con. Something.

[B]

Stay conning.

[A]

Say conning as well.

[B]

Say, say con. Pooning. It still doesn't work. Also, one more time, where was Usher at 11:30?

[A]

Now you putting them together. It's genuine. Where? It was genuine at 11:30. And how did he feel? Or. No, not where he. We don't know where he was at.

[B]

They don't want this. They don't want this. Let's let him go, guys. You have a great one. Thanks for listening.

[A]

Bye. Peace. Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA A Ski. I'm Goddess. It's produced by Judith Cargbo, engineered by Marina Pais and researched by Kaylin Brandt. Stay scheming. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwol.