Fraud Friday: The Best Basic Olympian w/ Sara Levine and Danny Murphy

Summary

Scam Goddess Podcast: Fraud Friday – The Best Basic Olympian with Sara Levine and Danny Murphy

Episode Release Date: July 11, 2025

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Introduction and Guest Overview

In this episode of Fraud Friday, hosted by Laci Mosley, known as Scam Goddess, the show features two special guests: Danny Murphy and Sarah Lavigne, who are the hosts of the popular podcast "Not Another True Crime Podcast." The trio delves into various scams, sharing personal anecdotes and offering insights into fraudulent schemes.

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Maroon 5 and Scamming for Concert Tickets

The conversation kicks off with a light-hearted discussion about the band Maroon 5, comparing them to the often-maligned Nickelback. Danny Murphy humorously remarks on the band's ubiquitous presence in rom-com soundtracks:

• Danny Murphy [03:32]: "Maroon 5 has the monopoly on rom-com music. Like, you weren't having a rom-com if you didn't have a Maroon 5 moment."

Sarah Lavigne adds her playful critique of the band's performances and their emotional appeal.

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Listener Scam Story: Katrina's Experience with the Plumbing Service

The highlight of this episode is a detailed narration of a scam submitted by a listener named Katrina. Katrina shares her ordeal with a plumbing company where her friend worked. She explains how her friend provided discounted services by manipulating invoices and credit card rewards, ultimately defrauding her of $677.

• Katrina [16:53]: "I just found out about two days ago and actually said to myself, among the stress, I need to write Lacey about this. The way that y’all..."

Danny Murphy and Sarah Lavigne dissect Katrina's story, discussing the emotional betrayal and the complexities of dealing with a scam perpetrated by a friend. They explore whether legal action is advisable or if acceptance is the better route.

• Danny Murphy [19:10]: "I felt betrayed and hurt, but also really do deeply care about my friend."

Sarah Lavigne emphasizes the importance of consulting trusted individuals when suspicion arises to prevent falling victim to such scams.

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Advice on Avoiding Scams

The hosts segue into practical advice on scam avoidance, highlighting the importance of thoughtful communication and skepticism in transactional interactions.

• Danny Murphy [12:14]: "If you don't have anyone that, if maybe if you don't have time or if you're in a moment where you don't want to share something, I would even recommend reading stuff out loud."

They stress the significance of not making impulsive decisions, especially when under emotional distress, to safeguard against fraudulent schemes.

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Main Fraud Friday Segment: The Best Basic Olympian – Elizabeth Swaney

The core of the episode revolves around Elizabeth Swaney, a multi-talented athlete who made headlines for her unconventional route to the Olympics. Unlike typical Olympians who perform intricate tricks, Elizabeth opted for simplicity, completing her runs without executing any maneuvers.

• Danny Murphy [34:56]: "She didn’t do a single trick. She was like, I'm going to win by doing the bare minimum."

Elizabeth's journey includes attempts across various sports such as ice hockey, skeleton, archery, gymnastics, and cheerleading. Her relentless pursuit eventually led her to qualify for the 2018 Beijing Winter Olympics by strategically participating in events with fewer competitors, ensuring her qualification by ranking within the top 30.

• Danny Murphy [65:48]: "She was like, I'm gonna win. She's on Easy Mode."

Despite her unconventional approach and lack of flashy performances, Elizabeth secured her spot, though she finished last with scores of 30 and 31.4, marking her as the worst-performing Olympian in history. However, her achievement is celebrated for her perseverance and unique strategy.

• Danny Murphy [73:30]: "Scamming the system to achieve your life goals while doing the absolute bare minimum to get there."

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Analysis of Elizabeth's Journey to the Olympics

The hosts analyze Elizabeth's tactics, discussing the balance between dedication and strategy in competitive sports. They commend her for finding a niche where she could excel without the intense specialization typically required to succeed at the Olympic level.

• Sarah Lavigne [62:24]: "Too many slashes. Like skier slash cheerleader slash..."

They draw parallels between Elizabeth's multifaceted pursuits and the importance of focus versus versatility, especially in high-stakes environments like the Olympics.

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Alex Jones and COVID-19 Treatment Scams

Transitioning from sports, the episode addresses a significant fraud case involving Alex Jones, a notorious conspiracy theorist. The FDA has taken action against Jones for promoting Colloidal Silver as a treatment and preventive measure for COVID-19, despite lacking scientific evidence.

• Danny Murphy [81:55]: "Jones pushed to sell supplements and merch followed his filing for bankruptcy after losing defamation lawsuits against his website, Infowars."

The discussion highlights the dangers of misinformation and the exploitation of public health crises for personal gain. They condemn Jones's actions and emphasize the FDA's role in combating such fraudulent claims.

• Sarah Lavigne [81:20]: "He's like, you ever drink a gun and it ships all the viruses out of your body?"

The hosts advocate for vigilance against such scams, urging listeners to rely on verified medical guidance.

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts recap the stories and lessons discussed. They reinforce the importance of awareness and skepticism in preventing fraud, whether it's in personal relationships or broader public health narratives. The episode concludes with acknowledgments of upcoming events and promotions related to their podcasts.

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Notable Quotes

• Danny Murphy [19:10]: "I felt betrayed and hurt, but also really do deeply care about my friend."

• Sarah Lavigne [62:24]: "Too many slashes. Like skier slash cheerleader slash..."

• Danny Murphy [81:55]: "Jones pushed to sell supplements and merch followed his filing for bankruptcy after losing defamation lawsuits against his website, Infowars."

• Danny Murphy [73:30]: "Scamming the system to achieve your life goals while doing the absolute bare minimum to get there."

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Key Takeaways

1. Personal Scams Can Be Emotionally Complex: Katrina's story underscores the emotional turmoil when scammed by someone you trust.
2. Strategic Approaches to Challenges: Elizabeth Swaney's unconventional path to the Olympics illustrates the impact of strategic planning over traditional methods.
3. Combating Misinformation: The discussion on Alex Jones highlights the critical need to counteract false claims, especially during public health emergencies.
4. Awareness and Skepticism are Crucial: Whether dealing with personal relationships or broader societal issues, maintaining a vigilant and skeptical mindset can prevent falling victim to scams.

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Recommendations for Non-Listeners

For those who haven't listened to this episode, "Fraud Friday: The Best Basic Olympian" offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions on various scams and fraudulent activities. It provides valuable lessons on recognizing and avoiding scams while entertaining listeners with engaging storytelling and relatable conversations.

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Stay Scheming!

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Transcript

[Lacey Mosley]

There's a new psychological thriller from Audible you've just gotta check out Curse of the Mbirwi. It stars Caleb McLoughlin from Stranger Things, was written and directed by Nyasha Hatendi, and is presented in spectacular Dolby atmos. Here's the the Wallace family's vacation at a luxury game reserve in Zimbabwe unravels when DeShawn Wallace, played by McLaughlin, unwittingly desecrates hallowed ground and unleashes the Imbirwe, a vengeful entity born from centuries of colonial oppression. Listen to Sacrilege the of the Mburi by going to audible.com sacrilege.

[Danny Murphy]

Y' all know when your hair kind of gets like greasy and and you need to wash it, but you don't.

[Lacey Mosley]

Have time to wash it? Enter Batiste Light. Batiste Light blends in seamlessly with your hair, leaving none of that white residue. And your hair looks clean and it feels clean.

[Danny Murphy]

Okay? I like Batiste Light because whenever my hair is feeling like, greasy or oily, you know, when I've wrapped it too many times or whatever, I can put that in my hair and it of.

[Lacey Mosley]

Wakes it back up, you know what I mean?

[Danny Murphy]

Without it looking white or powdery or, you know, like I just put a bunch of baby powder in my hair or something.

[Lacey Mosley]

You know what I mean by Petite's Light Dry Shampoo online or in store at your nearest retailer.

[Danny Murphy]

What's Poppin, Congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess.

[Lacey Mosley]

Welcome to an episode of Fraud Fridays where we release older episodes from the Scam Goddess vault. That's right, Fraud Fridays is where we bring back your favorite episodes, behind the Paywall.

[Danny Murphy]

Enjoy this episode from behind the Paywall.

[Lacey Mosley]

And as always, stay scheming.

[Danny Murphy]

Scams cause robbery and fraud. Scam Cause robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's Poppin, Congregation? It's YA girl Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. And we're back with another installment of Scam Goddess. The show all about robbery, cons, frauds, criminals, and all those who perform acts of crime. We love to see it for the most part. Today we have two. Not one, but two. Come on, we getting a bargain here. I scammed two people at once onto the show. They are writers and they are podcasters. One is a hilarious comedian and the other is an editor in chief of the online publication Bitches. I know you've seen something from Bitches because they are constantly going viral and I love bitches. Together they host their show, Not Another True crime podcast. Congregation, please welcome Danny Murphy And Sarah Lavigne to the show. Yes, Sarah. Any relation to Adam? Go. Ooh.

[Sarah Lavigne]

That is my scam is I tell people who don't know a lot of Jews that Adam is my cousin.

[Danny Murphy]

Yes.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Sometimes it works.

[Danny Murphy]

Cousin is far enough away that really, people can't check. No one can find all my cousins. I don't have privilege.

[Unknown Speaker]

No one knows Adam Levine's life either. Like, I could. You could tell me anything about him. I'd be like, I'd probably believe it.

[Danny Murphy]

Right? I would too. That's actually very true. Adam Levine is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Is he a criminal? Adam, let us know. Maroon 5. What y' all doing over there? Theft. If anybody could be a celebrity criminal, it's definitely Adam Levine because we're never checking for his personal business.

[Unknown Speaker]

No, I'm not even looking for his music, so I'm not looking for the things he does incorrectly in the world.

[Danny Murphy]

True. But this is what I will say, because we can do the Maroon. But I would say Maroon 5 is the Nickelback of our generation, where we're all like, this is so ghetto. Like, we should not be listening to them. But then we're also like, look at this photograph. Trying to match my life. I feel like my eyes get so red. Why do I know the whole song?

[Unknown Speaker]

No, I've seen Maroon 5 twice, so I really can't even throw anything at.

[Danny Murphy]

Them because how did you act all bougie? Like you hadn't seen Maroon 5 when you were out there.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wake up call. I mean, it really got me the old stuff. I cry every time. I cry at everything, though, so it's not sad.

[Sarah Lavigne]

We all have cried to Sunday morning at some point. If you say you have and you're lying.

[Danny Murphy]

Shout out to Maroon 5 for having the monopoly on rom com music. Like, you weren't. Listen, you weren't having a rom com if you didn't have a maroon 5 moment. Especially for a party montage. Come on now. They were the best. So I have to ask you both.

[Lacey Mosley]

Individually, we'll start with.

[Danny Murphy]

Actually, I'll let you guys volunteer. Whoever would like to start? But we always ask on this podcast, our guests like, what is your relationship with scams? Do you like them? Do you hate them? Have you ever run any? Have you had some run on you? It could be anything. This is a judgment, free space. Except for when the congregation decides to judge me. That's okay.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay. As long as they're just judging you, that's okay.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah. No, they judge him.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay. I respect and support scams. When nobody gets hurt with them.

[Danny Murphy]

Same.

[Unknown Speaker]

And I consider that if a rich person loses some of their money, but they're still rich, they're fine. So I think that is completely okay. And that was the scam I pulled. I pulled a scam where everybody kind of won.

[Danny Murphy]

Okay. Distribution of wealth.

[Unknown Speaker]

Well, distribution of nice concert tickets. Cause I went to see JoJo, who is kind of my. I love her.

[Danny Murphy]

I love her. I love that she was singing songs like a grown woman. Like, get out. She's in a high school, so, like, get out. Get out. Get out of where?

[Sarah Lavigne]

Your locker?

[Danny Murphy]

Where is he gonna leave from? Y' all don't live together. But I was just singing it.

[Unknown Speaker]

She wrote songs about divorce in second grade. She really made me learn a lot about the world. Yeah. But it was a standing room only venue, I think, like, gramercy something in New York. And I was like, me and my friend, we maybe, like, pregamed a little too hard. And we were like, we're not gonna stand in the back. We know Jojo more than everybody else. We're the oldest people there. No clue if we know they're not. I did lie to security and said I worked for E. News and that I was covering the event and I needed a better seat and I needed to be upstairs in the vip. So they were like, do we have credentials? And I was like, I don't have time to show you credentials. I came here from LA just to film this. Can you help me get up? And they let me in. And we did also get drunk enough to record people giving shout outs to e. News and JoJo that are still on my phone to just prove the time.

[Danny Murphy]

Oh, my God. Can you please send those? I would love to post those on the podcast. Like, whatever you feel like is safe. I feel like it is, because that is amazing. And I love this, Dani, because, one, you do look like you should be hosting E. News. Like, it's giving E. And you gave them, like, a part of Scams is, I told y', all, if you ever feel like you don't belong in a place, just walk in and treat it like it's the most ghetto shit you've ever seen in your life. Like, if you just treat things like, ew, I can't even believe I'm in here. Like, wow, this is so hood. Please don't touch me. If you're just like, please get out of my way. I'm very busy. I flew all the way over here on an airplane move. And they were like, yes, Mr. Important, who doesn't have time to.

[Unknown Speaker]

I could have said, I'm Kat Sadler. They don't know who Cat Sadler is at security, so I could have just done that. It was perfect. And it was a time of my life, and I still love Jojo and E to this day.

[Danny Murphy]

Yes, a lot of scams are just confident. Scammers are very confident people. And sometimes we all have to scam, especially in entertainment, to get where we're going, because that confidence. I didn't start booking commercials until I didn't need to book commercials anymore in my career. Like, I got. I remember I went to my last commercial audition, and I was so fucking tired of that shit. They treat you like you're a piece of meat, and they arrange you by looks and race. And it'll be like, okay, this is the black family. You get over there, you with the black family, and then y', all, the Latina family. And I always see my friend Kimia at commercial auditions for black people, and she's Persian, and so we always say that she's black, and she gets so mad about it. But then when I saw her at the audition, they put her with the black family. I was like, look at, you know, in here being black again. But the last one I went to, I was like, okay, this is so ghetto. Look, I only have 15 minutes on my meter, so can y' all see me right now? Because I have to go. And they were like, oh, her. She's the one. We love her. She hates it here, and we need her. Like, it's naked.

[Unknown Speaker]

It really is.

[Danny Murphy]

Nugget.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes. Cause you have to just be like, you're welcome for being here. And then people just bow to you. Cause that's how every cult starts. People are like, you should be happy that I'm talking to you. And they're like, oh, my God, thank you so much.

[Danny Murphy]

But Kanye's a wild dude, but my presence is a present. Kiss my ass. That energy.

[Unknown Speaker]

Perfect.

[Danny Murphy]

Take it everywhere you go. I've scanned my way into some parties. The first time I held Emmys, I was at an Emmy party, and I walked in and I was like, I just need to go back and use the bathroom. And the guy just let us. We was dressed cute, but I was wearing a plastic white dress. If I can find that photo, I'll post it, too. I'm like, an Emmy party in a plastic white dress. They let me in. Very ghetto. And then somebody gave me their Emmys, and I have photos of me holding two Emmys like, I was not supposed to be there at all. This is when I first moved to la.

[Sarah Lavigne]

That's amazing.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, my. But I feel like that's what you have to do. That's what. All I know about LA is that you just have to break into parties and have a fun time.

[Danny Murphy]

Yep. And act like it's very ghetto there. Just like, coup de tray. I can't even say crudite. Crud. A tray. Ew. Pedestrian. Pedantic. So, Sarah, same question.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Oh, my God. I mean, I wish I had this confidence. I think I'm going to, like, do some deep thinking when we're done with the podcast, because I'm always suspicious of scams because I'm very gullible. And when I graduated college, I thought I wanted to, like, write for TV or just, I don't know, work in film production. So I started just applying to, like, random LA internships, and I got this email from some guy, like, purporting to be some famous director. But, like, of course it was from a burner email.

[Danny Murphy]

It was typos send out direct. Hi. Like, they hire directly. Like, Judd Apatow's definitely emailing people like, do you want to be my assistant? Right. You just said it spelled wrong. You want to work with me and Leslie? Man this on Indeed.com.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Exactly. So I sent this to my parents being like, oh, my God, look at this. And they were like, this is a check kiting scam. Like, do not. Do not get involved.

[Danny Murphy]

What do they say in the message that you received?

[Sarah Lavigne]

Oh, I don't. I don't remember, but it was like, oh, we need someone to handle some, like, confidential business or transactions or something. And my dad is like, so what they're gonna do is they're gonna send you a check for, like, a thousand dollars. And then they're gonna say, oh, we sent you too much money. You have to send us back, like, $200. And then the check will clear at first, but then you're gonna be out that money once it bounces.

[Danny Murphy]

And I was like, oh, okay. Wait, what's your daddy name?

[Sarah Lavigne]

Ira.

[Danny Murphy]

Ira. I fucks with Ira. I also love that name.

[Sarah Lavigne]

He knows.

[Unknown Speaker]

And he's a lawyer, right? So he knows everything. Yeah.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Yes, he knows.

[Danny Murphy]

Ira. Ira ain't new to this. He true to this. He knew the whole scheme. Yes. I love that for you. And I love that you were smart enough, when something felt wrong to ask a friend or your father or someone that you trust, because that's part of the reason that people get scammed is one, your desperation level is higher. You need a job. Right. You're trying to get in this industry. Right. And that goes for every single scam. And so sometimes we act quickly and we don't consult anyone. And if we had, we probably would have known. Like, if more people talked about the fact that they've had online relationships with somebody that they've never seen their face or had a phone call with, and all of a sudden, they're in the hospital and they need money for the surgery, and the doctor won't do the surgery until they get the cash. If you said that to someone else out loud, they would tell you that sounds crazy.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's what. Cause I feel like that happens so much. Cause my mom and all of her friends are kind of like golden Girls Ing. And, like, so many of them are trying to date and do the online dating. And they'll be like, no, my man is so nice. He has, like, a farm somewhere. He just needs me to give him $2,000 to, like, restore the Wi Fi so we can have a FaceTime. And I was like, that is not gonna happen, mom. And she has to let them all.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Know, what amazing wifi is that. Like, I need to get that network. The speeds.

[Danny Murphy]

Your shit running at the speed of light. You got Facebook is live now.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, it's Facebook dating that's bringing it all down. Yes.

[Danny Murphy]

And if you don't have anyone that if maybe if you don't have time or if you're in a moment where you don't want to share something, I would even recommend reading stuff out loud. If you read something out loud, you can hear it back to yourself and hear how crazy it sounds.

[Unknown Speaker]

That is a good lesson, but also sometimes a hard lesson to do, because if you reread a text message or something like that, you're like, who am I? Who is the person I become?

[Danny Murphy]

I don't sit. If I'm in a spicy conversation or if I feel some type of way. And, you know, maybe it's late at night or maybe I don't want to call anybody or disturb them or whatever. If I'm typing something and I know I'm coming from an emotional place, I read it out loud. And then I'm like, this is a lot. Okay. No, I will kill everything you love. No, I should definitely not say that. That's a crime implicated. And like, I always tell y', all, don't say nothing that you don't want repeated in a text message. You got to call people, call them. Plausible deniability. I never said that. Who said that?

[Unknown Speaker]

I just use emojis.

[Danny Murphy]

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[Lacey Mosley]

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[Danny Murphy]

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[Lacey Mosley]

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[Danny Murphy]

So let's get into our first segment here. What's hot and fraud. This is where we warn our listeners about popping scams and the zeitgeist. And more often than not, we get a letter from you all. And I've been loving the letters. Guys, as always, snitch on your friends and [e-mail] just make sure your scam is retired because we don't want to. What? Yes. Fuck up your bag. Amen. Now, I need a fake name for this person. We don't care about gender here. It's made up.

[Unknown Speaker]

Katrina is popping into my head.

[Danny Murphy]

Katrina. Okay, I like Katrina. Why? Why Katrina?

[Unknown Speaker]

Because that was a girl. I went to middle School with who did a lot of scams. And I just feel like I don't talk to her anymore. But a good way to pay homage to her.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She's like, I'm charging you for the candy that they sell.

[Unknown Speaker]

She was, like, a peer leader and just stole stuff. So, I mean, like, good for her.

[Danny Murphy]

Oh, honestly, that's how you knew somebody had a future in crime. Whoever was the kid at the school who stole candy out of their backpack and hot chips and whatever else. Like, how are you trying to be an entrepreneur at school? Think about that. Because school is a place. And this is why I'm a heavy advocate for lunches should be free for all children at school. Because school is basically like a towing scam. Like, as a kid, it is illegal for you not to go to school. So how when I go to school, I gotta pay for anything? Where y' all holding me hostage? And my mama gonna go to jail if I don't go to school. That is so real. And so this scammer was like, oh, hey, everybody's locked in here all day. Can't leave. Otherwise they might go to jail. Food is limited. Options are few. I'm gonna sell this, you know, dollar store food at a upcharge. Yeah, upcharge. Like, that's how you know you have a potential criminal on your hands. If they're like, without a doubt.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Oh, yeah.

[Danny Murphy]

People can't go nowhere. They can't leave. And I love this. All right, so Katrina. Katrina says, I'm actually gonna read the top of this. Katrina. Cause you're getting sassy with me, and I love it. Katrina says, hey, Lacey, blah, blah, blah. Love the show, et cetera. I know you won't read it, but I'm a red shirt wearing of the congregation from the start, and I love the show so much. Okay, you better be an original. You better be a deacon. You better have your white gloves on, counting the money after service. Don't steal too much. So, okay, here's what happened to me. I just found out about two days ago and actually said to myself, among the stress, I need to write Lacey about this. The way that y'. All.

[Unknown Speaker]

You're there in time of need.

[Sarah Lavigne]

I was gonna say the therapist, like.

[Danny Murphy]

She needs to know, but sometimes people will write to me as this happened, and they're like, I'm in the closet right now. And they're, like, typing this. That's the problem.

[Unknown Speaker]

First, I hope they're not voice memoing. They're like, I'm held captive.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, girl, I'm being Kidnapped. Let me tell you what, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm gonna call the police after this, but let me tell you. Few years ago, a friend of mine started working at a local plumbing H Vac company and I of course started using them for my. Your plumbing needs and a then rented house. I called them out for many issues over three years and they always did top notch work. And my invoices were really reasonable. My friend said he helped me out with his friends and family discount and I paid the balance on his credit card for his rewards. Okay, that's the question marks.

[Unknown Speaker]

Katrina's losing me now. She's scaring me.

[Danny Murphy]

But reciprocity, though, Katrina, I love that. It was like I scammed with them, they scammed with me. We were doing great. I told him that it was totally fine and would spend some of his reward points on restaurant cards and would take me out to dinner every now and then in return for me always inviting him over for dinner. But he'd always cancel at the last minute. Now I'm confusion. Katrina, what is this? What did you just say to me? Because that don't make no sense.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Dating the plumber, like that's. Is that what's happening?

[Danny Murphy]

So my friend said he helped me out with his friends and family discount and paid the balance on his credit card for his rewards. I told him that was totally fine and he would spend some of the reward points on restaurant cards and would take me out to dinner every now and then. And in return for me always inviting him over for dinner. Oh, in return for me always inviting him over for dinner. But he would cancel at the last minute. So. I got it. I got it, guys. Woo. The way you wrote this, Katrina, there's.

[Unknown Speaker]

A lot of back and forth. There's like two exchanges going on.

[Danny Murphy]

I feel like. So what's going on is Katrina got this plumbing service that she fucked with. Her friend work at the plumbing H vac service. Every time she hit him up, he gives her a discount, but he tells the service, oh, she paying full price. Then he skims off the top that coin and he pays off his credit card bill so he could get some rewards. And he was like, I'm gonna help you out since you calling the company. Like, I'm gonna get you some rewards as well by giving you dinner is what I'm saying.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Yeah. I was like, did she just scam her way into a relationship? Because I support that.

[Unknown Speaker]

I do feel like there is a part of Katrina who's mad for a lot of I don't Even know how this ends, but that she brought up to tell you he kept on canceling at the last minute. Her home cooking.

[Danny Murphy]

Right.

[Unknown Speaker]

So she needs to. I hope she's addressing that.

[Danny Murphy]

I don't know. Curious. Every time you want to go to Outback, we eat a shrimp on the barbie. But when I'm saying, let's get intimate, he was like, who? Hello, New phone.

[Unknown Speaker]

Like, Katrina used her air fryer, right?

[Danny Murphy]

I have an air fryer in the box that I should have stole. They're so wrong, because I was. I did self checkout. And so I put it in my cart and in self checkout, like, an air fryer is expensive. So they have the little Target, has the little thing around it, like the little thing that goes off, like an alarm if you try to cut it or something. And so I put it in my car. I paid for the. I walked out the store. Nothing happened. Right. I got home, I cut that thing off because I was like, why is this here? And it started beeping. I had to, like, stomp on it in my stilettos. And I was like, I could have just stole this. Like, why didn't I even buy it? Regrets. So I would just send him the money via PayPal to cover the invoices. So I would have receipts on receipts. Plus, I had the invoices printed out and saved in my home maintenance folder. I sent my friend this money in good faith that he had taken care of my invoices for the business that he worked for. So he was like, send me the invoices for the spot. And I'm going to take that money and I'm going to use my friends and family discount, and then I'm going to keep the other coins to pay down what sounds like absorbing credit card debt. Katrina, were you dating this man? What's going on?

[Unknown Speaker]

I think. I think she needs. I feel like there is something like that going on.

[Danny Murphy]

I feel like you're not getting enough out of this scam. I feel like you should be getting more.

[Unknown Speaker]

Well, also, because how frequently does she need the plumbing service, too?

[Danny Murphy]

Katrina, what are you eating? Why is the toilet all fucked up all the time?

[Unknown Speaker]

And also, maybe that's why everyone cancels on her dinner plans, because they're like, katrina, I don't know what you're putting in me.

[Danny Murphy]

You're, like, out in a lot of ways.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Danny Murphy]

Katrina, do you have ibs? You can be honest. That's okay. Okay. I stand with you. I know people with IBAs. Okay. No, it might have just been shitty plumbing. Look, Katrina, you a OG congregation member, you know, these are just jokes, okay? Don't hurt me.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, yes, and also, Katrina, I have a. My stomach is very sensitive and my plumbing is shitty too, and I don't get a discount with any plumbing, so she's better than me right now.

[Danny Murphy]

So Katrina says he was let go recently for reasons unknown to me. I haven't asked him out of respect, and he hasn't offered the info. Just. Well, I mean.

[Sarah Lavigne]

But is it unknown? Because we know he's scamming the H Vac.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, I feel like that's why I'm pretty sure the H VAC company doesn't want. It's like workers going out and getting paid directly. Like, imagine if you had somebody, like, come do your cable or something, and you're like, okay, well, I need to pay. I'll do it online. And they're like, oh, no, no, no. Actually, you can just cash at me and then I'm gonna send it to AT&T in the. Yeah, no, that's how we do it. Like, what?

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, it's COVID protocol. Yeah. And how it works out now.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, yeah. It's just too dangerous for y' all to be paying on the website right now. So the website's actually down. Don't check. So just a few days ago, I had a major service scheduled. Katrina. What the.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She's at it again.

[Danny Murphy]

Shut up. Katrina, you need to move.

[Unknown Speaker]

She needs to get rent back. Talk about who's scamming. Or her landlord is right.

[Danny Murphy]

I'm like, y' all pay. Did she own the building? I gotta go back up Katrina and understand how the hell we got here. Yeah, it says local plumbing, and of course, I started using them for my needs in my then rented house. So is she renting a house or is someone. Is she renting it to someone?

[Sarah Lavigne]

Oh, that would make sense.

[Unknown Speaker]

That would make sense. That would be. And like. Cause then also, if it's like an airbnb thing, maybe a lot of people just go there and.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, maybe people are just flushing like hella tampons and cocaine down her toilet all the time. And she's like. Cause this just seems like too much maintenance. And I know houses are a lot of maintenance. I know a lot of homeowners are going to clap back and be like. And I'm like, I'm a millennial, sweetie. I've never heard of a home. I wish I could know.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Yeah, I would like to know.

[Danny Murphy]

A mortgage. What?

[Unknown Speaker]

I'm in a studio looking at my toilet and kitchen and Bathroom and bedroom right now. So I don't even know anything.

[Sarah Lavigne]

So you really don't want a plumbing issue, then? It'll be everywhere at once.

[Unknown Speaker]

I can't eat Katrina's food. I can't. No, I'm sorry, girl. We can microwave Lean Cuisines together. Yeah, I don't know.

[Danny Murphy]

But we don't need the toilet in the bedroom. We don't need that. Okay, I don't understand. It's gotten so bad in the housing market for Millennials that people are starting to lobby for rent to be written off, just like mortgages. Cause they're like, well, bitch, if you're not gonna give us a house, then we should at least be able to write off our rent like a mortgage. And we should. It's a scam. Yeah, how you gonna punish me for not owning property? Ghetto. Just a few days ago, she had the major service scheduled. A major service. Okay, explosion is happening. I got a call an hour after they were going to arrive saying I actually owe an outstanding balance of $677. And they had an emergency call and will have to reschedule me after I settle the hour outstanding debt. So they said, we have another phone call and they actually be paying their bills, so we don't have to service them first because you don't be paying your bills. I was flabbergasted. Okay, Katrina, give us some diction. After investigating for a whole day, I found out my friend had faked the invoices and pocketed $677 for me and the business he worked for. Then he had the audacity to ask me for money to help after he was fired. And I sent this man $30 for groceries that I didn't have to help out a friend in good faith, not knowing he had scammed me for years. The business had worked with me, and they agreed to honor the payments when I provided the fake invoices and my payment receipts. Now I'm honestly not sure what to do or how to feel. Do I take him to court for the money, or do I just accept that I got played? But the work was done anyway, and the business can deal with it. I feel betrayed and hurt, but also really do deeply care about my friend. And even though he did this, I'm so torn with this. Oh. He said, please call me Horatio if you end up talking about this. Horatio, you put that at the wrong part of the letter. Oh, man. Should have been at the top. Your name is Katrina. I'll acknowledge it, though, so you know it's you but it's, you know, it's. Horatio. When you structure your next scam letter, put that at the top.

[Unknown Speaker]

Put that with the blah blahs.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, blah blah, blah. Call me Horatio. Come on now. You know I do not read this stuff beforehand. Have you not figured that out yet? I go on vibes and I like your vibes. Katrinahoratio. That's your last name? Katrina Horatio. We'll give you a full name.

[Unknown Speaker]

Love that.

[Danny Murphy]

So what are your thoughts here? Like, should Katrina Horatio deal with this friend?

[Unknown Speaker]

My feeling is that Katrina Horatio had some more feelings with this friend. And with everything being settled, the work being done, taking them to court would almost in a way just be like bringing up feelings and a way to see them. And I think like, you're not gonna get anything from it. Cuz expecting them to be like, you're not gonna get an apology. You're already getting your money back. Your plumbing will be good for. Until you need your plumbing again. I don't think it's worth it.

[Danny Murphy]

Sarah. What do you think? Because I have thoughts. But I want you to go first.

[Sarah Lavigne]

I just. I can't. This seems like such a bad scam. You're scamming your friend out of a couple hundred dollars over many years. I just feel like there are other ways to get $600 over the course of a few years.

[Danny Murphy]

I feel like I'm going to go into scam land here. Katrina Horatio, baby, listen close. Put your earphone deeper in your ear. Lean next to your radio. However you listen to this, bring that JBL speaker right up to your face.

[E]

Baby, this man was never your friend. Every time you made plans, he would cancel. He never wanted to come to dinner. He was taking money from you. And so you didn't get suspicious. He gave you a few things, like some fancy dinners on his card for rewards points. But I would argue that this man has made fake friendships with a lot of people and use the service to steal their money.

[Danny Murphy]

I hope you heard that this is.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Feeling like a class action lawsuit now. Like, let's get everybody.

[Unknown Speaker]

I think that was loud and clear. And I also think you need to have Patreon bonus episodes where you just give. Like when someone calls you drunk, like, should I go over to their apartment right now? Not even a scam. And you have to ASMR reality to them. Asmr.

[E]

This person only texts you very late at night and they never hold the conversation and it always ends on your text. They don't like you, they ask you for money and they never offer to Pay it back. The sex is bad and you know that, but you just like the attention and the rollercoaster of the relationship. They're hot and cold because when they're busy with other people that they care about, they forget about you.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, okay.

[Danny Murphy]

You looked right at me with that.

[Sarah Lavigne]

I did hear this a couple years ago. I'm like.

[Danny Murphy]

I be having to whisper this shit to myself. I have a tweet that's like, low key going viral right now where I was like, oh, yeah, I quit dating. I was like, oh, my God. Dating. I was like, you have to work to look for love. And it's unpaid. The absolute ghetto. 0 out of 10 would not recommend.

[Unknown Speaker]

There's no tax refund for it, no nothing.

[Danny Murphy]

My time is expensive, and so are yalls time. And I was like, even my free time, I could just be alone. I was like, this is so ghetto. You telling me I gotta just go out on lots of dates, shout out to all the people in relationships? Because a lot of times when people have weddings, I think there's a cynicism that kind of develops. Maybe in millennial culture, maybe not. But I'm a millennial, so I'm not punching down on this. I'm just saying, like, we were all kind of like, marriage is a scam. It's like, we're in love. Let's get the government involved. What's going on? Why? But, you know, when people have a wedding, people get a little crazy. It's their big moment. It's their big day. For people who don't work in entertainment and stuff, it's like, the moment that every eye is on them. They're the star. It's a big party celebrating their love. And I feel like sometimes people are like, this is so weird. Like, okay, you marry somebody, that's not an achievement. Fuck that. I used to think, back in the day, I was like, getting married, like, getting an Mrs. Out of college, like, that's not winning. Like, I'm trying to, like, move mountains and accomplish it in business. Business. Oh, no, honey. If you can find somebody. If you can find somebody, y' all both agree to get the government involved in your love, that's hard work. That means you went on hella dates. You probably dated some people, found out that they were married. You probably dated some people, found out that they were weird. You know, maybe you had to run from somebody who looks sketchy, like, they might chop you up and put you in a freezer. Like, you have been through it to find love. Because it is work, especially now you want me to download the app for love. Then the app be like, well, for 4.99, you could prophesy a little f. What?

[Unknown Speaker]

I'm like, why is there FastPass? This isn't Disney, and I don't even like Disney, and I don't like dating.

[Danny Murphy]

So I'm just gonna be here alone. That's a fast pass for love.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wait, okay. The Lifetime movie. The Lifetime movie.

[Danny Murphy]

Fast Pass for Love. That's really what it is. I would watch it. That's a Lifetime title right there. Dani, write the movie. Okay?

[Unknown Speaker]

I mean, I'm honest.

[Danny Murphy]

Lifetime will buy it. They buy anything. They say, you got content Girls phone. What are you calling it? We suggest Murdering Mom. We like to get to the point.

[Unknown Speaker]

At Lifetime, and it's just her jogging with a bottle of wine. And they're like, no, she's every woman.

[Danny Murphy]

Right? Look, Lifetime is not creative with they titles. Like, I just saw everything everywhere all at once. And honestly, I'm gonna sue because that movie destroyed me. I came in thinking, I was like, oh, it's Kill Bill. Oh, it's Joy Luck Club. Oh, it's Inception. Oh, it's killing me. Like, it was beautiful. Michelle Yeoh, run, run her things because. Cause God damn. So good. So good. But that title, you don't know what you're walking into. But Lifetime's like a daughter's demise. It's like, I know the daughter gonna get demised. I know what's gonna happen.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, yeah. There is no the spoiler alert. It is a spoiler alert network where they're like, yeah, like an undergraduate dead. I'm like, okay, got it. We'll see what happens. Oh, this girl's going to school. What will happen next?

[Danny Murphy]

Right? But they're like, don't you want to see how's she gonna die? And I'm like, I do. I actually do. And it's time for historic hoodwinks. This is where I will regale Sarah and Danny with a famous con cape or group of criminals. We don't know yet. Y' all know I'll be along for the ride. And some people think that's irresponsible. But like I say, and I haven't said in a while, I am not a journalist. This show is a scam. The only negative reviews that I get, which guys? Apple podcast, please leave us a five star review. I will count that as your black activism for the day. But people will be like, she talks. They go on tangents so much, and they're always laughing at their own Jokes. And I hate it. Where's the story? And I'm like, I try to do an equal balance of mess and story.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, this is like the White House correspondents dinner. Like, if they want, like, what is going on here?

[Danny Murphy]

But you know, the true crime girlies, they're used to like, Sarah Koenig talking in a very affable way.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's true.

[Danny Murphy]

You know, so here we go.

[Sarah Lavigne]

I feel like the scam of our podcast is that it actually just is another true crime podcast. But we put the knot in front of it just to be like, Sarah.

[Danny Murphy]

See, that's the scam that you're running. Not another true crime podcast. Come over here for something different. And then you get in and you're like, it's the same, but it's still really good because we're the hosts. That's how you gotta get em. That was really smart.

[Unknown Speaker]

And we have Jorge at the end, which is great.

[Danny Murphy]

Yes. I created this podcast because I had shopped around a comedy podcast about current events. And they were like, we have too many of those and girl, you're not famous at the time. And I was like, okay, what about scams? But also, it's a comedy podcast and I'm just breaking the fourth wall. But that's my scam to you all.

[Unknown Speaker]

But God bless. And now you're both. Now you have this podcast. It's amazing. And you're famous. And everyone who turned you down, I hope they're listening.

[Danny Murphy]

Oh, I was about to drop a name. I'm not gonna do that.

[Unknown Speaker]

That'll be on your ASMR Patreon.

[Danny Murphy]

Right. So today we're talking about the multi talented athlete Elizabeth Swaney proudly made it to the Olympics in 2018, the Winter Games. But in order to get there, she didn't do a single trick.

[Sarah Lavigne]

How you do that, that's a goal of mine.

[Danny Murphy]

Wow. This white woman is giving winter.

[Unknown Speaker]

Though she does look very rei. Like she looks like all the. Yes, like very much.

[Danny Murphy]

She looks very North Face if North Face was a person.

[Unknown Speaker]

What are those boots? Or like, like what is. She's wearing Uggs too, which is what I would wear if I went to the Olympics. I feel like they're almost Uggs. They're North Face Uggs. I don't even know.

[Danny Murphy]

Are they? Oh, they're North Face. Like, it's like, oh, girl, you want to wear leggings and Ugg boots. But it's called North Face. Uggs. Snug.

[Unknown Speaker]

She got a snow monster jersey. God bless.

[Danny Murphy]

Yes, I'm into It.

[Unknown Speaker]

I don't know.

[Danny Murphy]

She's giving Winter Olympics. She's giving the fashion of Winter Olympics. I know I would go, like, Moncler. Like, something a little, like, cuter. The only reason I ever want to ski is so I can just, like, buy a whole Moncler ski suit and, like, take pictures in the snow and then go into the cabin and have hot cocoa and never skip ski.

[Unknown Speaker]

That is my dream.

[Danny Murphy]

Actually, I would ski a little bit. Maybe I'll do a bunny slope.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm just not trying to die by tree.

[Danny Murphy]

Like, I just.

[Unknown Speaker]

And I know I would be the person who would die doing any of that. So that's why I don't do it. Because they'd be like, oh, he tried. And I'll be like, a lesson of people not being adventurous.

[Danny Murphy]

So, Sarah, do you do winter sports? Have you ever.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Oh, no. There's way too many celebrities who've died in skiing accidents, and they know what they're doing, I assume. So I just want to dress up like a Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and just do the apres ski, but not the ski.

[Danny Murphy]

Just a Jenshaw moment. That's a.

[Sarah Lavigne]

That's my scam is you guys think I could ski.

[Danny Murphy]

Sarah's, like, in a full ski outfit with the skis, like, doing a whoosh pose on the slopes. And then she's like, all right, let's pack it up. We got the shot. All right.

[Sarah Lavigne]

I'm like, I'll blur the background so it looks like I'm moving that.

[Danny Murphy]

Make it look like I'm moving. Y' all get the fan out. Get that wind blower, that leaf blower. Blow that in my face. Fabulous.

[Unknown Speaker]

All set.

[Danny Murphy]

We did it, Jo. Love it. Robbery.

[Lacey Mosley]

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[Danny Murphy]

You know.

[Lacey Mosley]

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[Danny Murphy]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

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[Danny Murphy]

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[Danny Murphy]

So, Elizabeth. I'm just gonna call her Elizabeth Swaney. I don't wanna mess up her last name. We'll put some respect on your name as a scammer, but Elizabeth Swaney was born in 1984 in Oakland, California. Her journey to the Olympics first began when she was 7. And she was inspired by Christy Yamaguchi. Gold winning performance at the 1992 game. So she saw Christy Yamaguchi, which Christy Yamaguchi?

[Sarah Lavigne]

Isn't she a figure skater?

[Danny Murphy]

Yes. And I knew her. She was very famous.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, she was a celebrity. Like. Yes, she was. Out of. Because I'm not a big sport Olympic person. And I knew her name same.

[Danny Murphy]

I'm not watching the girls on the ice dance, you know, even though it's very impressive because when I get on skates, I'm like, oh, I'm upright. How long can I do this. This for? It's very embarrassing to be adult and go ice skating because if you fall as an adult, it's just very.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's so sad. And I feel like that's why I don't watch it. Because I usually. Whenever I watch something, I tell myself because I'm delusional and a narcissist. I'm like, I could do that. The Olympics is something I can't do that with. So I can't. I let them just have their moments.

[Danny Murphy]

I feel like maybe I could do curling. Ooh.

[Unknown Speaker]

Or the. Is that the one that's.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah. With like, little scoop. Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

I've Given hand jobs. I could do that.

[Danny Murphy]

So a few years later, Elizabeth's mother took her to a lunch that was hosted by Christy Yamaguchi. A chance for her to meet her in person. I know that's right. Elizabeth said it was there that Christy told her she'd need to devote many, many hours of practice to skating if she hoped to become an Olympian. And she tried. Cause she was like, you better get off your ass and work, bitch. So many people don't want to work. So Chrissy Yamaguchi gave her the speech, and she was like, okay, bet. As she grew older, she fell in love with other winter sports, including ice hockey and skeleton, a sliding sport in which a person rides a small sled known as a skeleton bobsled down a frozen track while lying face down, head first. I thought that was, like, illusion. Yeah, that sounds terrifying.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wait, that is truly. That's just college. When you have lunch plates, like, what?

[Sarah Lavigne]

This is like me doing, like, the Shavasana and yoga. Like, what's happening?

[Danny Murphy]

This just looks intentionally dangerous. I don't think people need to compet. No.

[Unknown Speaker]

Cause there's. What is this? I'm sure if anybody listening, they know. I don't know. It seems more of a game of chance than a game of skill almost. And I know I'm wrong just. Cause it scares me. It scares me.

[Danny Murphy]

I know you have to be more aerodynamic. So I can see that she's squeezing her thighs together and giving us, like, a yoga.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She's also wearing, like, Converse wedges, which is not seeing regulation.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah. Are you going to a Fergie music video after this? I'm confused why. And this is. I don't wanna careen into anything like this head first. Oh, my God. And if you fly off of it. Oh, wow. We'll put the picture up. Cause y' all need to see this. Like, she's. She's not even on the snow. This is, like, in the living room. And carpet. She just, like, posing on this board. Okay.

[Sarah Lavigne]

It's like Olivia Jade's rowing pictures. Like she's just on a skateboard.

[Danny Murphy]

Like, what? But when her middle school teacher suggested she try rowing, she fell in love with it. So I think that our girl Elizabeth was like, I'm gonna be an athlete of some sort. I'm going to the Olympics. Or high water shot put. What else y' all got?

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, it's competitive walking. That's one of them. Which I always think is so impressive.

[Danny Murphy]

Ribbon twirling. What can I do? Let me in. In college, she went on to become the coxswain, the Stearman of the boat for a highly ranked University of California men's crew team. Okay. Being the only girl on a boys team was not new to Elizabeth, who had played little league and all soccer as a child. She also went on to train in archery, gymnastics, piano, flute, and cheerleading. Okay. So she was like, look, I'm an athlete. I don't know what's gonna work, but I'm gonna be athletic.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She was throwing everything to the wall.

[Danny Murphy]

Yes. I feel like in entertainment, we kind of do that. We're like, oh, okay, I'll try this. I'll audition for that. You know, I used to host an in app game show that was like, what was that show that was hosted out of New York? That was a quiz HQ trivia. Yes. So I was on the bootleg scam version of that from China called Beat the Q. And I came into the studio and it was live. And I was on the teleprompter reading these questions. And one time I had choked, also on air, and I was choking and it was live, so I couldn't stop. And so the comments are flying up and like, get her some milk. Get her some milk. Milk. They're like, yo, she gonna die in front of us. Ha ha. I was like, yo, I hate the Internet.

[Unknown Speaker]

People are like, doing just fire emojis. They're like, no, this is my downfall.

[Danny Murphy]

That's how bootleg we were. We couldn't even get a technical difficulties moment. They were like, bitch, you need to unchoke yourself. Like, hand with yourself. We need to get through this.

[Unknown Speaker]

That was your archery moment of this girl? Yes. You're like, you just follow, which one is gonna pay me that. Just let me do whatever pays me, please.

[Danny Murphy]

Exactly. She was like, oh, the girls don't get famous from archery. Okay, nevermind. When do the girls get famous? Okay. Skating. Dancing. Okay, okay, Cool, cool, cool, cool. So over many years, she auditioned unsuccessfully to be a cheerleader for the Utah Jazz, Oakland Raiders, and LA Clippers. Okay, you were traveling for these auditions. These are all in California, but you are definitely in your car wrecking up mileage. Yes.

[Unknown Speaker]

And also cheerleading just came out of nowhere. She just jumped into that.

[Danny Murphy]

All right. It's a very athletic sport and it's an extremely dangerous sport. So, okay, girl, you was out here trying to get it. Although when you're a cheerleader on a professional team, you're basically just a dancer. They're not really doing like, here we go. Clip us.

[Unknown Speaker]

No, watch. Oh, my God. The halftime is the best they're, like, doing, like, in air. Like, 10ft off the ground stuff. And I'm like, how do bodies work?

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, you have to start that when you're so young. Because you get to a certain point with tumbling. Cause I actually tried. I went to a tumbling facility in high school, but I was already old enough that my brain had kicked in on, like, bitch, you gonna die. Like, and once your brain says, bitch, you gonna die, you can't do no flips. Like, you have to be so relaxed and so comfortable. Of, like, I can do this. It's ground over there. And then you just throw your body back. I was already in mode of like, bitch, you gonna die. I was like, it's not gonna work for me.

[Unknown Speaker]

Nope. Skiing and cheerleading. Nope, nope, nope.

[Danny Murphy]

And, like, the twisties. Like, you know what's our baddest bitch in gymnastics? Simone B. She has stepped away for a minute because she said she started getting the twisties. And when you get that where you're flipping this shit and you're like, oh, bitch, I'm gonna die. Like, you can't tumble. You will get injured.

[Unknown Speaker]

Cause that's the worst. You can't. When your head is upside down, you can't be like, am I gonna land? That can't be. When you're like, huh? That's what I think every pilot is doing. Cause I'm afraid of flying when they're.

[Danny Murphy]

Like, you're in my head, Danny. Are we the same person? I was about to say, if you're a pilot and you in the sky and you're like, how we gonna get down?

[Unknown Speaker]

We're gonna above clouds. Where's the grass? I'm just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Danny Murphy]

If you had 35,000ft, you like, bitch, we can't leave. Like, that's. You gotta stop flying planes. It's exactly that. So Elizabeth said, if I'm going to do something, I wanna learn how to do it. Well. I might not become the best in the world at it, but I'll learn how. People who are doing it are getting good. Okay, girl. I like that.

[Unknown Speaker]

I support that.

[Danny Murphy]

At 19, she mounted a campaign for a Governor of California race ultimately won by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She ran for governor. She was like, okay, sports isn't panning out. Let me do a quick pivot into politics.

[Danny Murphy]

Oh, my God, she did it. When you see that the Terminator is running for president, anything does seem possible. I would be like, well, bitch, me too then. Goddamn. You telling me the. I'll be back. You telling Me, The I'll be back man is running me too.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Like you're not even gonna start with city council. You're just going straight for the whole head of the state.

[Danny Murphy]

And we thought, can I say she was.

[Unknown Speaker]

I would vote for her over Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Danny Murphy]

I think I would vote for her.

[Sarah Lavigne]

For like student government.

[Danny Murphy]

This article says 19 year old Berkeley student joins race for governor. I don't know, Elizabeth. She's tenacious and in politics. Politics, it's a ripe industry for scams. Like every election is bought. If you don't have enough coins, you can't win. That's just a fact. So to get the signatures that she needed to get her name on the ballot, she stood in front of a gym with the logic that people would be in a better mood and more likely to engage with her after a workout. That's true. You do be on a high.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Ok. Elle woods, truly.

[Danny Murphy]

Yes.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She knows endorphins make you happy.

[Danny Murphy]

Sarah. That's exactly who she is. She's Elle Woods. She even received her grad degree from Harvard studying real estate. This person is just a genius and doesn't know where to throw the energy. She's like, I don't know. I do this, I do that. I feel like she.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Yeah, she could have just had a life coach and like who knows where she'd be today.

[Danny Murphy]

I think life coaching is a scam. But in her case, I'm like, somebody really needs to coach her life. She needs like an exo playboard. Go. Like this is a lesson.

[Unknown Speaker]

Like parents should tell their kids no sometimes where it's like, I want to be like a governor and a real estate agent and a. And a skier and a. But you got to pick one and you got to say no.

[Danny Murphy]

I don't know if you have to pick one.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's true. I mean, I guess she is. She's been thriving doing all this.

[Danny Murphy]

Who could be a multi hyphenate. I don't know if she's thrived yet. She hasn't quite won anything. She's a tragedy. Didn't get that. And she went all across the state. So she like tried everybody.

[Unknown Speaker]

And then she went to Boston. Now she's over in Cambridge trying to.

[Danny Murphy]

Have a new life. She tried to go to the Olympics. They were like, no, girl, no thank you. Like she tried to be the governor and they were like, what? So I don't know. I think if we had social media, I think if TikTok existed at the time that she ran for governor, she might have won.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, Without a doubt.

[Danny Murphy]

If she got on there and started doing some little dances and the young girls pulled up and grassrooted her. I don't know. You were ahead of your time, Elizabeth. But during it all, she was driven by the singular goal of making it to the Olympics no matter what.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Now, can the governor compete at the Olympics? That seems like, not like, I'm. Like, somewhere along the way, you got lost in your goal. Eye on the prize.

[Danny Murphy]

She was like, if I'm the governor, I can put myself into the Olympics. Gotta play the long game.

[Unknown Speaker]

She's thinking smarter. Yeah, she's going it.

[Danny Murphy]

Elizabeth first attempted to qualify for the Olympics under Venezuela, her mother's country, at age 33. Instead of special 33. That's too old for the limits, baby.

[Unknown Speaker]

I was gonna say.

[Danny Murphy]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Sarah Lavigne]

No, like, you had to knock off, like, 20 years.

[Danny Murphy]

It's some dreams you do have to give up at a certain age because your knees have given up on you. Like, that's not even ages.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's just like, your knees don't match your needs, and you have to move on with that. No, exactly.

[Danny Murphy]

That's a beautiful phrase. Your knees don't match your needs. Okay.

[Unknown Speaker]

My second Lifetime movie.

[Sarah Lavigne]

That's my new Live Laugh Life poster.

[Danny Murphy]

That's the Live Laugh Love poster for sure. That's the one that's in, like. What's the store like that Cray and Barrett. What's the store for, like, women who have decided that they are gonna furnish their homes.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, home goods.

[Danny Murphy]

Cute. Yes. That's the store I was thinking of. That's a HomeGoods store. Oh, my. You're in my head, Dani.

[Unknown Speaker]

I feel you when I see you. Yes. And I also see home goods. Too much? Cause I am that woman.

[Danny Murphy]

Right. I am, too. I'm here tonight. Look at this bowl. $26. I'll take that and I'll put lemons in it because that's classy and it.

[Unknown Speaker]

Will solve all my problems.

[Danny Murphy]

It'll solve all my problems.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, I'm fine now.

[Danny Murphy]

Oh, yeah. No, things were bad before. I was definitely depressed. But now I got a bowl of lemons, so I don't know what y' all talking about. Classy. So instead of specializing in one sport, she threw herself into training for different Olympic sports. She's in the fucking Olympic training. Like, she at the goddamn casino. She's like, put it on red, put it on black. Give me 24, 29, 12. 3 and 4. What? You have to focus on one sport. Do you not listen to Christy Yamaguchi. Well, you know what, Christy? Your advice was vague. You told her to work really hard. You didn't say work at one thing.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's actually okay, you know what? That's fair. Be more specific when you give goals to 7 year olds.

[Danny Murphy]

Thank you. So she threw herself training for all these Olympic sports with the goal of making it to the 2014 Soki Games in Russia. Etc. According to Elizabeth, I live my life by Olympic cycles. Okay, so you only live in every four years, baby.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Yeah, that's way to go.

[Unknown Speaker]

She's like a cicada. Yeah.

[Danny Murphy]

Also, we. We all know we're getting to the scam here, but I think that it's very smart that you were trying to scam the Winter Olympics, because those are definitely the ugly stepchild of the Olympics.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes.

[Danny Murphy]

Like, we're not watching all that shit, you know, we're not watching Lujin and curling. We not watching skiing. We like the Winter Olympics are just.

[Unknown Speaker]

Like, I like beach volleyball.

[Danny Murphy]

It's like if one of your siblings is really, really famous. And then like, okay, so one of your siblings is Alec Baldwin. We not gonna discuss who he is as a person. But then one of your other siblings is one of the other Baldwin brothers that we're like, don't know their names. We're like the other Baldwin brothers. We're like, y', all, the Winter Olympics?

[Unknown Speaker]

That is very.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

And you're like, no, you both are great. We both know you exist, but one is getting talked about.

[Danny Murphy]

You both do the same thing athletically, but what is better to look at? Oh, that's so Sad. So in 2016, she changed flags and pledged allegiance to her grandparents country of. Of Hungary, hoping to make it as the first ever freestyle skier to represent it in the Olympics. So then she was like, okay, I'm not good enough for America. It's too many athletes over here, too much talent. She was like, I gotta go to a smaller market. I gotta be a big fish in a. In a kiddie pool. Hungry.

[Unknown Speaker]

I do love her entire brand. Is not having allegiance to anything but herself. And that I do commend when she was gonna be a cheerleader. She's like, I don't care who I'm rooting for. Cause I'm rooting for me. And just for this, she's like, I don't care what flag I'm waving so long as I am waving it.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She doesn't care what sport she does. So she's like, as long as I get to wear the cute snow pants and the boots. Just yeah, sure, I can ski now.

[Unknown Speaker]

She runs on North Face.

[Danny Murphy]

Sarah. I feel like she's just as committed to you, to the vibe. She was like, oh, no, we'll get the photos off or flick it up. Kendra.

[Sarah Lavigne]

I'll do the apres ski with her.

[Danny Murphy]

Determined to move forward, Elizabeth began plotting to get into the 2018 Beijing Winter Olympics. She stood a particular good chance of making it in half pipe skiing because it was known for its danger and lack of female participants. So now she's even taking it up a notch. She was like, half pipe skiing, I have no experience. It's also very dangerous and women do not do it. That means there's an opening.

[Unknown Speaker]

She would do squid game. If it meant she could compete in something.

[Danny Murphy]

Elizabeth would definitely do squid game. She's like, sign me up. How much? How much, Juan, is it in ausd? I don't even care.

[Unknown Speaker]

She's like. She's like, keep the money. I'm in it for the love of the game.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She's like, there's uniforms, there's a photo op. We're doing it.

[Danny Murphy]

Red light, green light. Bae. I can stop with the best of them. Bitch. She's a cheerleader. Yeah, she got it. Yeah. So four time winner X Games gold medalist Sarah Burke had died after a crash on the same half pipe course Elizabeth began to train on in Park City, Utah. And I said that earlier when we were looking at that Luigi lay down thing. I'm like, this just seems dangerous for the sake of danger. And as much as I like to see people do amazing feats in sports, sometimes I am like, why? This just seems like bad. Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

And then it always brings you down when like ends up, what happens at a major game when they have to get taken out on a stretcher or walked out? I'm like, oh my God.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, but I live for that. It's very brutish. It gives like old school Rome, like, like fist fights to the death energy. Like, people do like to see violence and they also like to see carnage. You know, that's why nascar, when them cars crash, everybody be like, it's lit. Or hockey, when they start beating each other up, they be like, having fun.

[Unknown Speaker]

Like, okay, the hockey one is fun also because it's air conditioned inside there. So that's a sport. What I do go to see.

[Danny Murphy]

Cause I can eat a press. I'm there for the amenities. Oh, I love hockey. They have the best root beer. What?

[Unknown Speaker]

Like, I'm like, what team are you rooting for? Me and Elizabeth, we don't know we're here just to chill.

[Danny Murphy]

Just vibes. Yes. To see the Zamboni, shout out to Jamie Loftus, who loves Zambonis and has a Zamboni tattoo.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, wow.

[Danny Murphy]

Honestly, if you've never listened to Jamie Loftus podcast and this is a free plug, I just love her. If you like funny and elevated humor that's not as ratchet as mine, you will love her. And also, you'll learn a fuck tongue. She's got into Mensa. Did a whole podcast about it. She's a fucking genius. I love her.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, I love that.

[Danny Murphy]

So look up Jamie Loftus and get into her shit and figure out why she got a Zamboni tattoo. Because it is hilarious.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's what I need inserts on.

[Danny Murphy]

I love it. She loves Zambonis. It's that simple.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay, I mean, good to know it's that simple.

[Sarah Lavigne]

But it's so complex.

[Danny Murphy]

Sometimes people invite her places to ride the Zamboni. You know what she did? She's the Elizabeth of Zambonis. Cause nobody else was as passionate about Zambonis, and she cornered the market, and Elizabeth was like, oh, somebody died on this ski slope. Nobody want to do it. I'm a corner the market.

[Unknown Speaker]

It can all be so simple. But Elizabeth ride make it hard.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, I have a banana. Okay. Lauryn Hill. Woo. I don't even think she own them songs no more. Lord Jesus. I think about that all the time. When I pay my taxes. I be hurt in paying my taxes, but I was like, I don't want to go to Lauryn Hill jail. I gotta just pay my taxes.

[Unknown Speaker]

Good job, y'.

[Danny Murphy]

All. Don't want to see me doing scam goddess lives showing up five hours late trying to make money back for the government. We don't want that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Three hours in, the carpet goes down that you'll be standing on, and then two hours later, you'll come out and do it. I got scammed by her to see that, and it was great. But still, five hours, bro.

[Danny Murphy]

She just be living on vibes. I was late to this podcast today, and I apologize to y'. All. I was like, I'm so sorry I'm showing up late to my own office. But I was actually doing shit. I feel like Lauren was just like, I really don't want to go. My chakras don't want to arrive. And I love that for her, when.

[Sarah Lavigne]

You'Re holding out with your friend to play that game of chicken of, like, who's going to cancel the plans first? And she just hoped that everybody in the Audience would walk away. She's like, ah, you guys are still here. Fine, right?

[Danny Murphy]

She's like, we don't have to do refunds if they just don't. I don't wait long enough for me to come, right? Like, the second the last person leaves, I'll come out and be like, it could all be so simple. Hello. The thing. The thing. Hello. But you had to make it. Nobody's here. All right, pack it up. Put some drums in.

[Unknown Speaker]

Next venue, Uber's outside.

[Danny Murphy]

She was like, when it hurts so bad to work, like, and it do be hurting so bad. It do be hurting so bad to be employed. I won't lie. Even when you do what you love. Some days I wake up and I do all my job is doing everything that I love. And some days I wake up and I'm like, what am I doing this for? What is the point? I'm just placating my time till I die. Like, what?

[Unknown Speaker]

Cause I'm sure sleeping is also something you love, and you don't get to do that with all the other stuff.

[Danny Murphy]

I fucks with sleep, man. And people are like, sleep when you're dead. And I'm like, I'm a sleep dead, too.

[Sarah Lavigne]

It's not either or.

[Unknown Speaker]

I need to practice for that.

[Danny Murphy]

Sleep is fun. I don't. I don't know. I'm depressed. I was like, sleep is a good time.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wait. I love that all three of us just kind of disassociated and looked to the side like, oh, it's sad that we're all just happy to sleep.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Yep.

[Unknown Speaker]

The best part of my day is when it's not existing anymore.

[Danny Murphy]

Have you ever drawn your blackout curtains and watched the same Netflix or Hulu animated show that. That you've seen all the seasons of? And then Bob. Oh, okay. So I used to be a family guy girl when I was 21, and I was depressed.

[Sarah Lavigne]

I think we all. Yes.

[Danny Murphy]

At 21.

[Sarah Lavigne]

We all were Family Guy girls.

[Unknown Speaker]

That was your Adele album.

[Danny Murphy]

Family Guy was hitting me with a one, two punches a little bit too much of, like, doing crash jokes that were also very dark. And so then when Bob's burgers happened, I was like. I was like, oh, bitch. The band got a new phrase every time. Oh, the song next door got a new phrase every time. What's on the burger board? I be living.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's something to live for.

[Sarah Lavigne]

It's a great show.

[Danny Murphy]

Bob is a queer icon who kicks it with the trans girls and is not embarrassed to bring them to his daughter birthday party. You got Me love that show. So though only 24 female half pipers would be eligible for the 2018 Olympic Games, I just wanted to do a quick recharge because we were on a tangent. Half pipers, like the half pitch, half pipe is a very dangerous thing. Someone had just recently passed away from attempting this at a Olympics. So just we're on the same page. Only 24 people were going to be eligible for the 2018 Games. There were few courses available to train on and a relatively few number of competitors. So one, this is something that's hard to construct, so you can't just go train on it in your hometown. It's not like you can have a gym in Russia. You can have a gym gym in America where you can practice gymnastics. This is like, you have to be in a special climate. You have to have the infrastructure to practice. So that kind of closes the market a bit, accessibility wise.

[Unknown Speaker]

It makes it like an equinox.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it does. Because I used to be an Equinox member and honey, those gyms are small. I'm from Texas. We have Lifetime Fitness. It's a water slide, it's a pool. It's. It's several pools. It's a spa. You know, it's. You know, I want that. And even when I started going there, I was like, y' all only have a wet sauna. Like, I don't have a dry sauna since my hair. This is very racist. So still, Elizabeth was faced with a problem. Now the market's smaller. But she still got a problem, though. She was accomplished athlete who had trained in many sports. She. I don't know if she was accomplished. I feel like Caitlyn.

[Sarah Lavigne]

The jury out. Where are the accomplishments?

[Danny Murphy]

Kaylin's my researcher. Shout out to Kaylin Brandt. But, baby, I think you gassing it because I. I haven't heard an accomplishment yet. Several attempts.

[Unknown Speaker]

Attempts, no. And a real estate degree, which is great, but yeah, not. And that's not an Olympic sport.

[Danny Murphy]

And listen, real estate is what you do when you realize that waiting tables is not going to get you the bag that you want and you want more freedom. Like, if you watch selling stuff, all them bitches got a story. Autumn bitches got a neck tattoo or a lower back tattoo. And if you got that tattoo, I know you got a story. If you got tattoos behind your ears, I know you a hustler, like, and I love it. And they were like, let's get into house hustling. We just show up cute and then we show the House. And then we get money for a reason. Though she was an accomplished athlete who did all these sports. Caitlin, I'm gonna let you have accomplished right now. Cause I like like Elizabeth, she did not commit herself to a singular sport with the dedication of the fellow Olympians. That's what Sarah is waving her hair right now.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Yes. We knew this was her problem from the get go.

[Danny Murphy]

Sounds like we peeped it. Yeah. She embraced the true meaning of Jack of all trades, Master of none. And the full quote of a Jack of all trades is a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Oh, okay. So Elizabeth is onto something.

[Unknown Speaker]

Does that apply for the Olympics?

[Danny Murphy]

No. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. In the Olympics where you trying to win against the whole world. I feel like you really do need to, like, strapped in, narrow it down. Yeah. But I will say, in life in general, being a Jack of all trades, depending on what you decide to do with your life, can be extremely beneficial because you know a lot of things. And maybe, maybe you only know a surface amount of things about a lot of things. But depending on what you're doing, all I know is a surface amount of things about a lot of things. Except for scams, which I've recently realized I've spent the better part of four years knowing a lot about.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's also, I feel like how every single person now has their career and business is just like being able to have multiple sources of ways to make money or do things. And you don't get bored or burnt out when you can switch around.

[Danny Murphy]

Exactly. But in this case, I think you're absolutely right, Dani, that our good sister Elizabeth should not have embraced this phrase. Master of nuts. Like sweetie.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Too many slashes. Like skier slash cheerleader slash.

[Danny Murphy]

The Olympics. You should do that in the olympics.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, her LinkedIn must have been two pages long. Or, like, at the minimum.

[Danny Murphy]

She done worked everywhere. She had more jobs than a Jamaican. She done had more jobs than me. I've had a lot of jobs. A lot of jobs. A lot of random jobs. So she's out here, employed, employees. Floyd. Also, Elizabeth, I need to pull over for one quick second. Elizabeth, baby, while you were making all these attempts at success, who was paying your bills?

[Sarah Lavigne]

This is what I was thinking when she ran for governor, I'm like, so her parents just had too much money because they just kept throwing her into hobby after hobby.

[Danny Murphy]

And you said winter sports are expensive. Sarah, you said that before. You said that her parents were encouraging her too Much that she could do Everything.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Yes. They're like, we just have too much money to burn. So here you go.

[Danny Murphy]

And winter sports are expensive. So Elizabeth, our queen, who has no special set of skills. She's no Liam Neeson. She can't chop anybody's snack.

[Unknown Speaker]

She is not taken.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She's probably tried that, too.

[Danny Murphy]

She said, I have a mediocre amount. Amount of skills. They're all very average. Got a lot of them. She got a plan. So how does she get into the damn Olympics? Please tell us, because I've been curious this whole damn episode. The world rankings were based on points that skiers had accumulated in a series of qualifying events in the years leading up to the Olympics. These events occurred all over the world, ranging from California to Colorado to New Zealand and China. Hero. Her plan was to travel the world, attend every single qualifying event with fewer than 30 athletes as one of the qualifications included in finishing in the top 30. So she was like, I'mma be top 30 because I'm only going to go to places where they got 16 people.

[Unknown Speaker]

She's doing, like, the American Idol. If you'd fly somewhere where nobody's auditioned today because you can't audition for Idol in New York, you fucking.

[Danny Murphy]

But there's so many singers there. Yes.

[Sarah Lavigne]

My friend did this for the Nathan's hot dog eating contest.

[Unknown Speaker]

I did not know you were gonna go.

[Danny Murphy]

Yes, they, like.

[Sarah Lavigne]

They flew her to, like, North Carolina or some. Some qualifier. She only had to eat, like, four hot dogs or something.

[Danny Murphy]

So she did it against the Japanese.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Guy and the people who were just, like, shoveling it in there on 4th of July. Like, all right, I'm gonna have my one hot dog and not throw up later.

[Danny Murphy]

They're dipping it in water to get them down. And she's like, I'm just. I'm putting a little ketchup and mustard on date bites.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Yeah, exactly.

[Unknown Speaker]

Some relish, y'.

[Danny Murphy]

All. Make sure it's hot. Y' all got a chili dog. She's just eating for the enjoyment. She's like, I'm still on tv.

[Sarah Lavigne]

It's a good scam. I'm like, I'm gonna do that. I love this for her.

[Danny Murphy]

I love it. So, fun fact. The. All these facts have been very fun, but okay. Fun fact. This rule came from the 1988 Calgary Olympics at which the top ski jumper from the uk, Eddie the Eagle, competed and came in dead last in only ski jumping events. Wow. The International Olympics Committee ruled that you couldn't just be the best in your country and that you had to be competitive on an international level. So he was popping in the uk, like, oh, we love Eddie. He's the eagle. He flies so high. He soars through the sky. And then he competed against everybody else and then was like, danny, this is very embarrassing.

[Unknown Speaker]

I want to see how little he soared. Like, it's just a little hop.

[Danny Murphy]

He's just doing hopscotch. Soaring is relative, Dani. Soaring is relative. Okay, Ice Music told me that you're soaring.

[Unknown Speaker]

Flying just in Albuquerque. It's possible.

[Danny Murphy]

Okay. I could jump off one. One step on my Porsche and technically I'm soaring for a second, but that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Works because it's a Porsche. I don't know if you can take a hop off a Toyota Camry and it's soaring. I'm not soaring out of my lifts.

[Danny Murphy]

No, I think you are. You soaring. You know, that's all I can see Disney at the door, who owns High School Musical. They're like, shut that shit up.

[Unknown Speaker]

Ashley Tisdale's coming for us.

[Danny Murphy]

She takes it personal. She shows up at everyone's house to.

[Unknown Speaker]

She's like, soaring is defined as right.

[Danny Murphy]

So if she skied a technically flawless routine and didn't fall, she could gain points each time, even if she only did it a few times. With that, she outscored more ambitious athletes who attempted more complicated runs but couldn't land their tricks. So she was like, oh, y' all over here flipping and stuff. And I'm just like, woo.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She's playing on Easy Mode. I love that.

[Danny Murphy]

That's exactly it. She's like, I'm gonna win. She's on Easy Mode. And why a lot of us should really get on Easy Mode. Like, why, like, people take so much pride in, like, working yourself and exhausting yourself. And I can't lie, I'm people and I do too much and I work too hard and it's like, why not just do it on Easy Mode? We all gonna go to the same place da ground. So why. By the time the teams were being confirmed, Elizabeth was only a few points away from qualification, because she did. She didn't fall. So technically, because she stood upright the whole time and she made it. So everybody else doing the zigzag, they're doing the flips, they doing the jumps, and she was like.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She'S like us on the bunny hill.

[Danny Murphy]

Like, I just imagine, like, her having.

[Unknown Speaker]

Headphones and, like, I'm walking on sunshine and don't.

[Danny Murphy]

I feel like she isn't even skiing. Like, you know when you ski, you, like, push the skis down and, like, that propels the skis forward. I feel like she's walking, like. Like using the little poles of sticks to, like, ground herself. We're still waiting for Elizabeth to finish the race. She's been starving at the snow for hours. Just walking like she's hiking. Yeah, true. Y' all skiing. She hiking.

[Unknown Speaker]

And they all got from A to B, so, Right.

[Danny Murphy]

We all got to the same place. And I'll give y' all a metaphor real quick so y' all can understand. I know everybody's been in traffic at some point, and there's a car driving slow as hell. And then you're like, get the out in front of me. Like, we in the left lane. Why are you driving so slow? So you swerve out and you go to another lane. And then y' all arrive at the same red light, and you got there faster. But then they drive up all slow. Like, I conserve my gas, and we at the same place, and I'm like, I think this about a bitch.

[Unknown Speaker]

The anger I feel when that happens. Oh, yeah.

[Danny Murphy]

Those people are the Elizabeths of the world. They're like, I'm gonna conserve my gas mileage. If we're not on the freeway, honey, I'm driving 30 miles an hour. I don't care what the speed limit is. And then that's the most embarrassing thing when you do an aggressive traffic mood. Cause you're like, man, fuck outta here. You drive slow as hell, and then they just pull up next to you, like, and they look at you. Hi. That's Elizabeth. Hi.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, we in the same place.

[Danny Murphy]

You just worked hard. That hurts. So at the Pyongyang Olympics, Elizabeth completed her runs exactly as she always had. She skied down one side of the pipe, gracefully turned, and skied back down the other side until she reached the end. And we got a video of her run. I need to see it. She attempted absolutely no tricks. She said, I am giving dryness. I'm giving tumbleweed. I'm giving. Giving Sahara. Okay. Okay. I'm so excited to see this. Okay, so Lizzie's made it to the Olympics. I know. That's right. She's okay. She stopped a little bit. Like, you're not supposed to stop. She's okay. She. Wait.

[Unknown Speaker]

This is impressive to me.

[Danny Murphy]

Wait, is this Elizabeth? I'm sorry. This is actually very good. So she's just going up and down like wee.

[Sarah Lavigne]

This looks fine.

[Danny Murphy]

I can't do this.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, she's relaxing.

[Danny Murphy]

All right, cut the cameras. You know what? Good for her. Y' all not gonna call Elizabeth a Scammer. This bitch is a savant. She said I could be basic in everything. I can't be a winner in everything, but I can be basic. I thought that she was gonna go down a bunny slope and just be like, wee. She's still going up a little half pike and cut coming down. She's just doing it slow and chill, but that still takes skill.

[Unknown Speaker]

Exactly. It's like when there's all the cupcakes that are way overdone with, like, five flavors. She just gave the original traditional one and still tastes delicious, and I enjoyed it.

[Danny Murphy]

Elizabeth is giving vanilla, and don't play with vanilla. Elizabeth, I'm so sorry I didn't put dirt on your name, sis. Because that's like, if you're in a singing competition with Whitney Houston and she's singing I have nothing, and you're like, twinkle, twinkle, little star, I wonder where you are. It worked. It sound low key to me. She can still sing. Y', all, y', all, Y' all disrespecting Elizabeth. You, Elizabeth, you're going in the hall of fame with other Elizabeths, like Elizabeth Holmes, Lizzie Holmes, who is my turtleneck queen. I love you, Liz. I love, love you. They wrong. They wrong about you. So she attempted no tricks. They were like, you're not giving us any flair. But she. She did her vanilla. Her final score was 30 and 31.4. The worst in Olympic history. Now, okay, I will say you are competing against the world's best athletes. And. But.

[Sarah Lavigne]

But she didn't fall, but she got there. It's more than I could say.

[Unknown Speaker]

And you know who's more memorable last than seventh?

[Danny Murphy]

That's true.

[Unknown Speaker]

We're not talking about the seventh best. We're talking about the worst.

[Sarah Lavigne]

So, you know she won some kind of award. Yeah, yeah. She made history.

[Danny Murphy]

Ricky Bobby, if you're not first, you're last. But we always remember who first and last are. But nobody remembers ninth. No, that's true, Liz. I don't know. I feel like you winning. The next competitor above her was from Denmark, who wiped out but still earned 16 points more because they were like, we're gonna give you more points. Cause, sis, at least you tried. Like our good sis. Alicia gave us nothing.

[Unknown Speaker]

Cause Elizabeth couldn't wipe out if she tried. Cause she wasn't doing anything that could lead to a wipeout.

[Danny Murphy]

She was like, we.

[Unknown Speaker]

It looks so relaxing.

[Danny Murphy]

It did. I kind of want to do it. I was, like, into it. A commentator for CBS said that she was able to achieve the real American dream. Scamming. The system to achieve your life goals while doing the absolute bare minimum to get there. Now, y' all could say bare minimum to get there, but she tried a lot of sports before she found the right one, and then she strategized. Honestly, Elizabeth, I hope that you're, like, a public speaker. I hope that you put Caitlyn Jenner out of the game, because you are the number one scammer. Like, and Caitlyn wasn't scamming when she was Bruce Jenner at the time. Even though I say when you're trans, you're always the person that you have transitioned to. So I would say Caitlyn Jenner, at the time that she was competing in male Olympic sports, you know, she was eating up the girls, right?

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Danny Murphy]

So. But Kaitlyn's politics and her whole fucking vibe, I hate it. So I'm like, I don't know, Lizzy, you could be the next Olympian speaker because you could tell the girls how to really do it, how to do it no matter what. That's what kind of speaker I want. I want people who are like, I was insanely talented, and then I did these things. Like, Caitlyn, I want people who are like, I ain't had nothing going on. And let me tell you how you can still have everything.

[Unknown Speaker]

Because that's also because she took the advice that she got. Just work hard and was like, what do I do with that? Because it's like, when, like, really pretty people tell you, oh, my God, just be casual on a first date, I'm like, that doesn't work for me. Elizabeth is gonna tell you what you really do to have to get the job done.

[Danny Murphy]

I agree with you, Dani. That's like, when diet companies use very naturally thin people to tell us, like, oh, this is what you should be eating. Or, like, if you go vegan, if you do this, it's gonna what? Like, we all have different bodies, and we're born with different body types, and not all of us are. Are gonna look the same or be the same size. And instead of trying to punish people, that's how diet culture is. It's like, people don't give a fuck about if you're skinny or fat, especially if you fucking like, you can't. People want to have sex, they don't give a fuck about your bmi, but that whole industry is created off of the image that people care about that. And so they're like, you should feel bad if you got fat on your body.

[Unknown Speaker]

And it's like, should I?

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

No, because it Gives you to the thing where they're like, that's healthy. When it's like, actually take that really too thin person that's on your diet to a doctor and then they'll be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, yeah. And like, if you're naturally thin. I don't want to shame people who are naturally thin. But I will say that I've learned a lot as an actress. And people, certain people in modeling careers, like, honey, they be sipping on them shit teas that taste like Sprite and then have you on the toilet all day right before the fashion show. You know, you see the girls posting at expensive places with food all over the table. Like, they gonna put it in their mouth. You know, it's a, it's a lie.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, that's why like every, like, like feature in a magazine when they're like, I got the cheeseburger for like, there's two paragraphs on the food. And it's like, what are we talking about?

[Danny Murphy]

I always just get suspicious when people take too many pictures eating food. I'm like, what you're trying to prove? Who you trying to tell the cheese?

[Unknown Speaker]

Exactly. Like. Cause also, like, people love cheeseburger. You don't love cheeseburgers if you're like, oh my God, I love a cheeseburger right now. It's like, you just get one. I'm not, I'm not proclaiming food I want. I'm on Uber Eats getting my burrito bowl coming to my door.

[Danny Murphy]

And also everyone out there, you deserve food sometimes. And I do this myself. Like, I'll be like, oh, I haven't earned it today. I didn't work out. Earned it. I. That's a scam. You can eat whatever you want. If you have the privilege to be a, you know, have access to food. Like, you don't have to work hard to eat. Capitalism is us. Like, you got food in your house and you're like, have I worked hard enough to deserve my food that I bought? What?

[Unknown Speaker]

That you're just staring at and starving and you're like, well, you're going to go to bed sad. You can, but after you eat, just be sad for other things.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, I think everyone should work out and exercise. And that's also a myth that plus size people or full figure people do not work out. It's like, baby, yes, they do. I know a lot of healthy plus size people. Y' all are. And also the average size, I believe in America is a 14. So what are we doing? Like, who Are we lying to ourselves? Like, y' all just not gonna make clothes for most of the country because you want them to starve themselves so that they can fit into the clothes that you have. Very ghetto. It's such a scam. So the media vilified Elizabeth, calling her the worst Olympian ever. Okay, that sounds like infamy to me. Elizabeth got what she needed. Press coverage. She was like, I'm last. She comes. So she's like, I know I can't stand on the podium for silver, gold, and bronze, but can I stand over here for last? Like, what if I just stand way down here and y' all get a picture of me as last? That's an achievement. It is. She worked real hard to be last. I love her. But many of her fellow Olympians supported her. Of course they did. Cassie Sharp won the half pipe gold, and she said, if you're going to put the time and the effort in to be here, then you deserve to be here as much as I deserve. I know that's right.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wow.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She just did the mental work. Maybe not the physical work, but it's still work.

[Danny Murphy]

It's exhausting. Mental work is very tiring.

[Unknown Speaker]

Also. I couldn't do what she did.

[Danny Murphy]

Mm. Mm. I couldn't even ski. Like on a bunny slope. She was at least going up and down and didn't fall.

[Unknown Speaker]

I can barely book a flight correctly. She did that so many times during all this. So really, she's gonna book me.

[Danny Murphy]

Hot, right? Points for style. Style can also be the men's gold medalist. Half Piper David Weiss said that he was inspired by her. David was probably like, why am I working so hard? Sis got here and she just was chilling. A few weeks after the Games, Elizabeth's newest skull was training for the American Ninja Warrior. And we have a video of her audition. This is wrapping up. Wow. With the Harvard shirt giving energy. Lizzy, you did the damn thing. She competed in American Ninja Warrior Los Angeles 2018, and wiped out on the first. First obstacle. No. Today she claims many titles, including standup comedian, actress, and Olympian. Honestly, Elizabeth, I will come see your stand up show. Cause, bitch, you are hilarious.

[Unknown Speaker]

She could just tell stories about her life. And I'm on the floor.

[Danny Murphy]

What if I just live my life as a comedian? Like, what if everything I did was a joke?

[Unknown Speaker]

She gets game.

[Danny Murphy]

And when you're in Olympian, yeah, they gonna put you on tv even if you bad.

[Unknown Speaker]

She has credits.

[Danny Murphy]

Lizzy, you achieved what you wanted. You said, I'm going to the Olympics whether I'm going to be Christy Yamaguchi.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She told no lies. Like we have to respect.

[Danny Murphy]

She said, I'm going to be the most basic. That's an achievement. To be the most basic. Elizabeth, you're the queen of the basics. And it's time for the end of the show. This is a long one, y'. All. You're welcome. Scammer of the week. This is where we highlighted charlatan that we either love or hate. We don't know yet. Today we're talking about the fda because the FDA is demanding that Alex Jones stop advertising questionable dietary supplements as coronavirus treatments and is threatening legal action if he doesn't comply. Alex, I don't agree with this. This is a global pandemic that ruined a lot of people's lives and took a lot of people's lives. Why are you trying to tell them that they need to eat shit tea to get rid of Corona? We still.

[Unknown Speaker]

We have CVS's and Walgreens where you can go and get what you need for them.

[Danny Murphy]

Jones has been telling viewers of his Internet broadcast, the Alex Jones show, that they can use Colonial Silver products sold on websites to keep Covid away. You know what's wild is Jim Baker also was doing this scam. And I tasted Colonial Silver as a experiment. If you drink too much of it, your skin turns out okay. So that's fine.

[Unknown Speaker]

And that's the first takeaway. Not even the fine print?

[Danny Murphy]

No.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Then you have to quarantine from COVID because you can't go out like, Right.

[Danny Murphy]

You're a Smurf now. You're part of the Blue man group. And what's so funny about this is that he probably is a leech on Jim Baker's scam because Jim Baker had a TV show telling people on TV Christians that followed him to buy the silver solution. And now this person's capitalizing on YouTube. Those videos the FDA wrote are misleading and they represent them as safe and or effective for the treatment and prevention of COVID 19. Which obviously it's not. In one video he posted, he claimed the Pentagon has come out and documented and Homeland Security has said stuff like this kills the whole SARS and coronavirus family at point blank range.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Someone's got these little guns in your body. Like, right.

[Danny Murphy]

He's going after the 2A NRA community. Yes. He's like, you ever drink a gun and it ships all the viruses out of your body? Y' all need a sip. Gun, drink AK47 to get rid of your Covid. What someone has Colonial Silver is nothing more than a Solution that contains tiny particles of silver. There is no scientific basis for Jones or collodial silver's enthusiast claims. Jones pushed to sell supplements and merch followed his filing for bankruptcy after losing defamation lawsuits against his website, Infowars. Lawyers for the family of Sandy Hook victims sued Jones for falsely claiming the tragedy was a false flag operation. Oh, so this man is a conspiracy theorist. Alex Jones, I don't fuck with you. He's the worst. Please jump in the ocean with weights on your feet.

[Unknown Speaker]

The only AJ I like is from Ali and aj and that is just that.

[Danny Murphy]

My AJ is AJ Gibson, because that's your best podcast. Love you, love you, Emile. But this aj, no, it's a wrap for you. After losing the cases, there are now questions about the validity of the. The purpose for the bankruptcy. So when he was like, I ain't got no money like bankruptcy, although it is accessible to everyone, it hurts people who don't have money the most because a lot of rich people file for bankruptcy and like, I ain't got it.

[Unknown Speaker]

And they're fine. Yeah, truly.

[Danny Murphy]

Because when you're rich, you don't need credit, but made up credit in the 80s. When you are broke, you need it. So seven years is bad. Lawyers are now saying he's attempting to force families into settlements rather than than proceeding with trials that will determine the amount of damages they are owed by Jones. He was like, I'll give you $50 if you shut up. You're not gonna win in court. I got all the lawyers. I'm on Internet TV. Take the money.

[Unknown Speaker]

I love that it's called Internet TV and not just YouTube.

[Danny Murphy]

You gotta make it sound bigger than it is. Yeah, just call it YouTube. Anybody can be on YouTube. We gotta be like, I'm on Internet TV. I got a channel.

[Unknown Speaker]

He's like, when does it. When does your show go on? It's at 98% right now. Almost uploaded.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, I got a channel. Okay. An Internet channel. I'm like Netflix, but not. But also on the Internet. You can find Netflix on the Internet. You can also find me.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's true. But you need WI fi to look at both, so.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah, so it's the same.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's 5G. Yeah.

[Danny Murphy]

Alex, we don't fuck with you for days.

[Unknown Speaker]

Mm.

[Danny Murphy]

Mm. Not at all.

[Unknown Speaker]

Not at all. No.

[Danny Murphy]

You're a bad man.

[Unknown Speaker]

Bad in so many ways too.

[Danny Murphy]

Yeah. Honestly, a menace to society. Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

Elizabeth was just trying to help hurt herself. He's trying to hurt everybody around him and beyond, so.

[Danny Murphy]

And Elizabeth was following the rules. She said, okay, these Are the rules true? Yes.

[Sarah Lavigne]

She exploited the rules.

[Danny Murphy]

We love that. Yes. Did I not follow them? Was I not in a funeral procession of the rules? Because I believe I was. I love it, guys. That brings us to the end of. Oh, truly a remarkable episode. An hour and 30 minutes. Woo. Woo. We're long. And I told them. I was like, oh, we'll be out in an hour. It'll be quick. Nope, it wasn't. But very productive. Sarah, Danny, we always ask, where do you want to be found? And so anything you want people to sign online, your address, your PIN number, whatever you want people to find, just share that.

[Sarah Lavigne]

My Venmo.

[Danny Murphy]

Yes.

[Sarah Lavigne]

Listen, you can follow me on Instagram at Sarah Lamime and also follow our podcast, Instagram. It's Just Not Another True Crime.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes, you can follow me on Instagram and TikTok, because that's where things happen. Now. Asmere, Dani Kashmir with a K. And of course, our podcast, Not Another True Crime podcast every Monday. And we have the live show June 5th in Brooklyn. We'd love to see you if anybody. I mean, we just have a party. It's a great time.

[Danny Murphy]

Brooklyn, stand up. I've done the Not Another True Crime podcast. It was so much fun that I was like, y' all gotta come do mine. Like, come over here, Come over here. I had to scam them to get them over here. Oh, no, that.

[Sarah Lavigne]

See, we reverse scammed you. We're like, we're gonna just get lazy on talk about iCarly, but actually scams and it's gonna be a whole thing. So.

[Danny Murphy]

Damn, y' all got me. Because I was on a press tour for iCarly, and they were like, okay, we're gonna. Yeah, we're gonna talk about icarly. Yeah, yeah, Harper. Yeah. Things.

[Unknown Speaker]

Um. But we talked about iCarly as we talked about real houses of New York. So TV shows at times.

[Danny Murphy]

Fantastic podcast. Y' all are so entertaining.

[Unknown Speaker]

You're the best.

[Danny Murphy]

Really, Truly. This is amazing, guys. As always, snitch on your friends and family at scamgodesspot at gmail dot com. Just make sure the scams are tired because we don't want to. What? Yes. Fuck up your bag if you want to see all the pictures and videos and I'll try to find the picture of me in a plastic white dress holding Emmys. I know where it is. I'll bring it to you. Yes. D I V A L A C I divalacy on all platforms if you want to see my weird tweets or look at me doing things. And then. Guys. Season two of iCarly is streaming now on Paramount. Plus episodes are coming out weekly on Fridays. Season one is on there, too. So you can do a little B and G, you know, if you're an adult, get stoned. I don't know. It's fun for me. Stoned. And season two of Fly Play sketch show that is also out. Other things aren't out now, but I will tell you when they are. Congregation. Stay scheming. Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. It's produced by Judith Kargbo, engineered by Marina Paiz, and researched by Kalen Brandt. Stay scheming.

[Unknown Speaker]

This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf. If you could hear love, what would it sound like? Son, can we talk about your drinking? Yeah, Dad, I think we should. Helping those closest to you think about their excessive drinking. Maybe that's what love sounds like. More at Rethink the Drink Dot com. An OHA initiative. I'mma put you on, nephew. All right.

[Danny Murphy]

Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order, miss?

[Unknown Speaker]

I've been hitting up McDonald's for years. Now it's back. We need snack wraps. What's a snack wrap? It's the return of something great. Snack wrap is back.