Fraud Friday: The Fake Bootsy Collins w/ Ian Lara

Summary

Scam Goddess: Fraud Friday – The Fake Bootsy Collins w/ Ian Lara

Podcast: Scam Goddess (Earwolf & Laci Mosley)
Episode: Fraud Friday: The Fake Bootsy Collins w/ Ian Lara
Date: February 6, 2026
Guest: Ian Lara, Stand-Up Comedian

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Episode Overview

In this classic “Fraud Friday,” host Laci Mosley (the Scam Goddess herself) is joined by rising comedian Ian Lara for an irresistibly funny deep-dive into musical impersonators, borrowing money etiquette, New York street scams, and, most notably, the wild true tale of “The Fake Bootsy Collins.” The episode’s central theme explores how iconic personas are ripe for scammers to imitate, with just enough flair, bravado, and sometimes sheer shamelessness to fool the unsuspecting.

The banter between Laci and Ian is rich with personal anecdotes, sharp observations about urban grifts, and a shared love of storied “scam culture.” By the end, they’ve charted the long and utterly bizarre history of Bootsy Collins impersonators—and cracked each other up the entire way.

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Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Meet the Guest & Scam Lineage

• [02:00] Laci welcomes Ian Lara, Harlem-bred standup, HBO Max special “Romantic Comedy.”

• Ian’s Scam Roots:

  • Grew up in Queens, “scam-adjacent.”
  • Family tradition of illegal cable: “I come from a long line of illegal cable users. I was grandfathered in.” (05:03, Ian)
  • Anecdotes about family-operated illegal cable as “the cable company” with questionable customer service:
    • “He’d put you on hold, music playing, then fight with his wife in the kitchen...” (06:26, Ian)

• Laci’s Reflection:

  • “Normalized robbery—Nike said ‘Just Do It,’ so that’s what we do.” (04:37, Laci)

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2. What’s Hot & Fried: Listener Letter – “Gustavo’s $20 Scam”

• [11:00] Ian gives the pseudonym “Gustavo” for a listener’s tale.

• Story Highlights:

  • Gustavo, in student housing, lends $20 to a neighbor “for his son.” Wife warns: “You got played.”
  • Gustavo’s frustration grows: avoids, sticky notes, building manager laughs it off.
  • The neighbor’s grand reveal: he’s wanted by police for heroin dealing and kidnapping.
    • “I told the building manager... he just laughed at me.” (21:58, Gustavo letter)
    • “My wife immediately said, ‘Saw that one coming.’” (23:11, Gustavo letter)

• Borrowing Money Etiquette:

  • “Never lend more money than you can afford to lose.” (16:49, Laci)
  • Biting banter about tracking debts, the pettiness of owed money, and how “men are notorious for being scammers.”
    • “Every man is a scam. Okay?” (13:42, Laci)

• Relatable Quotes:

  • “How are you smiling when you owe me money?” (27:04, Laci)
  • “You'll never forget the day someone owes you money.” (20:29, Ian)

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3. Historic Hoodwinks: The Fake Bootsy Collins

The Main Scam Story

• [29:48] “My favorite part of the podcast where I bring you a famous group of con criminals...” (Laci)

Bootsy Collins: The Icon

• Legendary funk/R&B bassist; wild fashion, star-shaped glasses, top hat.
• “If you have a similar build, you could just put on all the Bootsy stuff and we wouldn’t know…” (30:55, Laci)
• Personal connection: Laci worked with Bootsy – “Fun dude. Extremely tall...No guy dressing like this is not fun as hell.” (31:02–31:06)

Impersonators on the Scene (Late ‘70s–Early ‘90s)

• First Imposter:

  • Tries to collect Bootsy’s royalties at Warner Bros. HQ while real Bootsy is elsewhere.
  • “He was like, never mind. Forget it.” (43:40, Laci)
  • Scams music stores, attempts to buy on Bootsy’s store credit. Disappears quickly.

• Impact on Bootsy:

  • Growing disillusionment leads to “semi-retirement” after motorcycle injury. (45:03)

• Second Imposter:

  • Calls Bootsy’s wife from LA hotel, racks up free room service.
  • “I love when people perceive that you’re rich, they’ll give you things for free…” (47:10, Laci)
  • Appears at the New York Music Awards, rides with Miles Davis from NY to DC.
  • “If you’re driving for three hours and don’t realize you’re with an imposter, something's up!” (49:57–50:15)

• Dodges Playing Music:

  • “Avoided playing instrument at all costs...had a guitar as a prop but left when it was time to jam.” (52:13)

• Fake Bootsy’s Downfall:

  • “Sting” operation by Bootsy’s team and Rolling Stone exposes the scammer.
  • Even tried to offload scammed gear on actual bandmates.

• Third Imposter:

  • “Booted from the tour bus along with a pet wolf for trying to get hotel expenses covered.” (55:02)
  • Shouts: “You’ll be hearing from my lawyers! You’ll regret this!” (55:46, delivered by Laci in 80s villain voice)

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4. Modern Scams, Social Media & Legacy

• Bootsy’s wife Patty now fights Instagram scammers posing as Bootsy.
• “His fan base is in their 70s, they won’t know if they’re talking to the real Bootsy... now you can buy a verified check.” (56:37, Laci)
• Bootsy pivoting to NFTs and “Bootsy Bitcoin” (“Now I’m starting to really think you might be all them fake Bootsies...” (56:15, Laci))

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5. Scammer of the Week: Derek Patterson, The Grindr Grifter

• [57:16] 23-year-old grifter from Compton, CA.

  • Scammed Grindr hookups—would “borrow” phones during the meet, Zelle himself cash.
  • Once sent himself $3,950 (“Why not $4,000?” – Ian, 58:34).
  • Escalated to using a stun gun, opening credit lines in victim names; ultimately sentenced to nine years with hate crime enhancement.

• Takeaways:

  • Dangers of fast hookup apps: “He probably got several people a day—people just be ready to get their swerve on.” (60:43, Laci)
  • Both hosts denounce violence, agree this goes far beyond a charismatic scam.

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Notable Quotes & Laugh-Out-Loud Moments

• On illegal cable in the family:
  • “He’s not DirecTV. He’s not Spectrum. He’s like, I sell cable. Would you like me to do it to you?” (05:42, Laci)
• On lending money:
  • “If you give out that money, every time you see that person you’ll be looking at them like, oh, you got money for Chick Fil A but you ain’t got my $20.” (16:55, Laci)
• On male scammers:
  • “Every man is a scam. Okay?” (13:42, Laci, to Ian’s protest)
• On Bootsy impersonators:
  • “He had a guitar as a prop, and they’re like, let’s do a jam. He had to go to the bathroom... again.” (52:13, Laci)
• On the effect of streaming:
  • “Now you just stream it—which is a lot easier. It’s a little soulless.” (35:45, Ian)
• On DA BABY’s bot-scalped tickets:
  • “If you a bot and you bought DaBaby tickets, I know you down bad.” (37:29, Laci)
• On mixing designer knock-offs:
  • “Burberry, little brother. Blueberry. You know, Blueberry fire.” (57:29, Ian)
• On scammers getting violent:
  • “He chased him with a stun gun and demanded money. Now he getting violent—he robbed the victim of jewelry and $120 and opened a line of credit with Goldman Sachs using their name.” (59:13, Laci)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:00] — Meet guest Ian Lara & scam upbringing
• [05:00] — Secret life of illegal cable
• [11:00] — Listener scam tale: “Gustavo” and petty $20 repayment
• [16:49] — “Never lend more than you can lose” discussion
• [29:48] — “Historic Hoodwinks”: The Fake Bootsy Collins deep dive
• [47:10] — The perks & pitfalls of “rich person clout”
• [49:57] — Bootsy imposter fools Miles Davis (!?)
• [52:13] — The “prop guitar” scam avoidance
• [55:02] — Bootsy number three, pet wolf, and tour drama
• [57:16] — Scammer of the Week: Grindr grifter Derek Patterson
• [61:57] — Ian’s plug: HBO Max “Romantic Comedy,” tour, Instagram @ianlaralive

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Final Thoughts & Tone

Style: Breezy, hilarious, conversational; tons of quick-witted asides and playful one-upmanship.
Takeaway: The larger-than-life persona is always a target for imposters. Whether it’s cable TV or clout-chasing musicians, the scam is often just a carefully-styled look, a well-rehearsed story, and a willingness to keep a straight face. The episode also reminds listeners that “borrowing” is all about trust—once that’s gone, so is the money.

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[End of Episode]

Stay scheming, as Laci says—and don’t forget to check your bills, your cable box... and never hand anyone your phone!

Transcript

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[A]

What's Poppin Congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Welcome to an episode of Fraud Fridays where we release older episodes from the Scam Goddess vault. That's right, Fraud Fridays is where we bring back your favorite episodes from behind the Paywall. Enjoy this episode from behind the Paywall. And as always, stay scheming scams cause Robbery and fr. Scam ca. Rob Scam Goddess. What's Poppin Congregation? It's your girl, Lacy Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. And we're back with another installment of Scam Goddess, the podcast all about robbery, fraud and those who practice it. Each week I bring on some of my favorite, most hilarious comedians and we get into it. And guys, you know, I'm very. Yes. Excited. Oh, it's so good to hear from y'.

[D]

All.

[A]

Y' all having a good. Y' all having a good week? Oh, I hate to hear that. Okay, good for you. Come on. Parasocial. Yes, I am very excited. Today we have an amazing stand up comedian. He's a rising comic who's been featured on Comedy Central, HBO Latinos internos franchise and NBC's the Tonight show with Jimmy Fallon. Check out his new HBO Max comedy special entitled Romantic Comedy, directed by comedian and friend of the show, Ada Rodriguez. Yes. Love that New York queen. Congregation, please welcome Ian Lara to the show. Hi, Ian.

[D]

Hey. Hey. Thank you so much for having me. That was such a great introduction. I appreciate it.

[A]

Thank you so much for being here. Okay, so I'm guessing from the rundown here I didn't know. Are you Afro Latino?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Where are you from?

[D]

Dominican.

[A]

Okay. I used to be fake Dominican. I speak Spanish. So then people would be like, are you Dominican? I'd be like, si, yo Dominicano. Mamie41 Morena, where are you from? I'm from Texas.

[D]

Oh, why do you speak Spanish?

[A]

Because I'm from Texas.

[D]

Oh, all right, got it.

[A]

I saw on your Instagram a very funny video of you wishing everybody, like, a happy day or a happy holiday or something. You were like, this is not about my new haircut. This is not about.

[D]

That was my Thanksgiving post.

[A]

I said, not the Thanksgiving throw.

[D]

I'm trying to reach out to the fans. Look, it just so happened I got a haircut that day. It just so happened. It had nothing to do with me making a real.

[A]

That was a scam in itself. Not you hitting several angles, talking about. No, I just want to tell all the people out there. And then all the poses. I was like, sir, please look.

[D]

Pure coincidence. Pure coincidence.

[A]

And I love that for you. So, Ian, we always ask on this show, what's your relationship with scams? Do you love him? Do you hate him? Have you ever been scammed? Have you been running these scams? I know you live in New York, so I know you're scam adjacent.

[D]

Yeah, I'm definitely scam adjacent. I grew up. I'm from Queens, New York, where, like, I grew up. Especially when I was in high school, there was a whole thing of scammers who were going on, who were running different type of scams. I never personally been in one, and I can't remember if I've been scammed. I probably have, but I definitely grew up. Scam adjacent. Yes. But I'm pro. A good scam, right?

[A]

As long as it's punching up. It's not punching down. But living in New York, I know you were at least, like, in the cul de sac of scams. Like, they were next door.

[D]

I had a legal cable. That's a scam, right?

[A]

Yes, it's one of my favorite scams. Okay, see, why you playing? Okay, so you gotta tell me.

[D]

Yeah, I forgot. I forgot. Sometimes you normalize it so much that you're like, this is not even a scam. This is just what everyone got.

[A]

Listen, I love that normalized robbery, okay? It's just something we do, right? Okay? Nike said just do it, and that's what we do. But wait, so how did you get your legal cable? Cause there's a. You wouldn't have to snitch channel names but there's a lot of different ways to. You can do, like, the jailbroken Roku. You can get somebody who comes to the house, who works for the company. Like, what? How did it come to be?

[D]

Well, growing up, I had. Growing up. I mean, I come from a long line of illegal cable users.

[A]

So that's your lineage.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, it's a long line. I was kind of grandfathered in to the illegal cable. So growing up, I remember, like, you when it was just cable. Like, we would install cable, and then the cable guy would come to install it. And then my mom or my sister will, like, treat him super nice. Like, offer him coffee, something to drink. Just treat him very nice. And at the end, they'll be like, hey, so how about you flip that switch, you know, and open up that box for us? And he used to do that. And then. Then it became a thing. Now I got, like, a family member who just sells cable. Like, that's like, his job sells illegal cable.

[A]

I love that he became the cable company. He was like, no.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

He's not DirecTV. He's not Spectrum. He's like, I sell cable. I do cable. Would you like me to do it to you?

[D]

That's what. It's funny, like. Cause sometimes it goes out and you'll call him. Like, he's like, customer service. Like, he'll put you on hold with, like, music. I'm like, where you get music?

[A]

It's just music. He records.

[D]

Where you get music at? Yeah, it's just like the MTV, old school, 80s music playing in the background. I'm like, where you get this service from? And he'll hook it up. Like, that's his job, yo.

[A]

He elevated. I would say he's actually.

[D]

That's what I'm saying. You normalize.

[A]

He created a profession where there was none, and I love that for him. And he got good customer service. Because usually when you get the bootleg cable, that's it. You just hope it works. You pray. But if it goes out, you can't call anybody and be like, hey, I stole some cable.

[D]

No, he don't have good customer service. You'll call him. He'll be doing something. He'll put you on hold, and it'll be music playing. But then you'll hear, like, fighting in the background. I'm like, you're supposed to go to, like, a waiting room. It's not supposed to be, like, music playing. And then he's fighting with his wife in the kitchen.

[A]

Okay, well, that, to me, is bootleg cable. High quality Service. Okay, he did put you on hold. He had to get through a dispute real quick, and then he's gonna get back to you. Think about. I was on hold with bank of America for, like, 40 minutes yesterday, and they still didn't fix what I needed them to fix. So at least if I heard I was on bank of America and they were like, please hold in the back, I heard like, tisha, you raggedy. You ain't even get these account numbers right. That's why I'm on hold right now. Like, I would be like, okay, they fighting for me.

[D]

You're right. I never looked at it like that. I never looked at it like that.

[A]

But I love that.

[D]

Although it's hard to. It's hard to think they're fighting for you when you hear his wife complaining that he didn't come home last night, right? You're like, I don't think I have anything to do with this.

[A]

I think he is still fighting for you. Cause how is he going to get. But it's a whole ghetto mess from his home office. If he gets booted out of his home office, if his wife kick him.

[D]

Out, he's like, I'm trying to feed the family.

[A]

Yeah, he's fighting for his brick and mortar so he can continue to provide services. This is what I heard. Right. Right. She was about to put him out. So then where you gonna get your cable from?

[D]

Never looked at it that way, but you're absolutely correct.

[A]

But I love that for you. I love that cable was passed down in your family like a family heirloom. Everyone just doing bootleg cable. That's beautiful. That's really beautiful. Well, we're gonna take a quick break for some non scam advertisements, and we will be right back with what's hot and fried scams.

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[A]

And we are back. And it's time for what's Hot and Fried. The second where we warn our listeners about popping scams on the street. Or more often than not these days we get a letter from you guys as always, snitch on your friends and [e-mail]. sure. Your scam is retired because we don't want to. What? Yes. Up your bag. Amen. And I have to say, y' all have been coming in with the spiciest letters. I read this, and I about died, so let's get into it. I do need something from you, Ian. If you could just give me a fake name. We don't care about gender. It could be any name for this letter.

[D]

Gustavo.

[A]

Gustavo. Okay. I love a. Hey, Gustavo. Okay, so Gustavo says, hi, Lacey. Hello, congregation. Okay, you addressing the congregation. You really getting up in church and giving a testimony? Okay, so a few years ago, I had to live in a small town while my wife went to grad school. That way she could have a closer commute. We had to find ourselves a cheap apartment since we would be living on one income. When we found the apartment, we had downstairs neighbors who were always nice to us. So, I mean, like, your mom, like, the neighbors are really nice. Maybe offer some coffee.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

Pop a cable box or two.

[D]

Sure, sure, sure.

[A]

Love that. Also, I love the. The grift of a one income household. Like, I want to go to school and somebody else just pay while I live with them for Liv.

[D]

I mean, that's the dream. Yeah.

[A]

I want love to pay my bills.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

That's nice.

[D]

I understand.

[A]

Has love ever paid a bill for you?

[D]

No. Come on. I mean the opposite. I've paid some bills in my day, but that was a scam.

[A]

You could be cap. Somebody could keep you a little bit, treat you like a treat. No. Okay. Look at you patting your head. Look at you rubbing on your hair that, you know, looks like.

[D]

Are you bringing up bad memories?

[A]

Oh, no. Okay, we don't want to do that.

[D]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[A]

I'm kidding. Now I want to know what the memory is, but you're just stroking on them follicles that you like to show off like something. Something went on.

[D]

I remember. I remember. Look, that's a quick story. I remember when I was in college, like, I was actually in school. And my. My girlfriend at the time, she was like, a nurse. She was, like, graduated nurse. She was making, like, good money, like, and I was making nothing. I was making, like a hundred dollars a week. And even then, I still, like, when we went out, I still had to, like, pay the. Like, I still paid the bill. I still paid the thing, and I was, like, completely poor. And she was, like, making, like, over 100k and still, like, that was the. The dynamic.

[A]

Okay, listen, I'm not mad at her.

[D]

Minnie's bad.

[E]

But.

[A]

But I will say, though, like, there are times where everyone has lean time, so we don't have to lean on the patriarchy all the time. I'm just very wary of men giving my money to CIS straight men, because you just. It's treacherous out here.

[D]

Why? What does it gender have to do with it?

[F]

What are you eating?

[A]

Because men are notorious for being scammers. Every man is a scam. Okay?

[D]

Why? That's offensive.

[A]

Okay? How is this whole world built? And how does it work now?

[D]

Yeah, I'm a scam. I don't want to go down that.

[A]

Look, it doesn't mean you personally have to be a scam, but the concept of manhood is a scam. But I want to ask. So if you were, you know, still showing up, paying for the, you know, taking care of your girl, paying for these dinners, where were y' all eating at?

[D]

We were still going out. Like, I would really, like, save up, like, to take her out. But in all fairness, we had a con. I think she just didn't know. She just didn't realize. Cause we had a conversation about it where I was like, hey, I can't afford to do this. And then she was just like, all right, cool. And then she started paying for stuff. She just didn't, like, see that? It just didn't register to her that a man wouldn't have money.

[A]

Right. Because they steal it all. She's like, you get paid way more than I do on dollars, so why wouldn't you have all the money?

[D]

I'm like, yeah, but I'm your secretary. I don't make more than you.

[A]

But that's good communication. But she don't know that, because the way this world is set up, you could have been making more money.

[D]

I know. She was cool. She was cool. We just had to speak about it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Good communication. And, like, listen, I've dated people where it was like, you know, they had lean times, I had lean times or whatever. And we would pay, you know, for each other or whatever. I think that kind of reciprocity is dope.

[D]

It's beautiful. Yeah.

[A]

But I do think it's funny that you were, like, so determined to, like, continue to pay or whatever, and I feel like you was at the end when the check came, just, like, a little bead of sweat.

[D]

Well, the thing that broke the camel's back is one time we were just having A conversation. And she was, like, paying her credit card bill, and she was like. She literally just said this, like, casually. She was like, oh, my God, I spent $5,000 at Victoria's Secret last month. And I was like, what? And I'm paying these dinners. Like, all right, this is it. I can't keep doing this.

[A]

What kind of bombshells was she buying? What kind of.

[D]

Yeah, she was. Yeah.

[A]

But Victoria's Secret still got that 7 for 25, right?

[D]

She was going, hell, she was balling. She was balling. I didn't know she was living this lifestyle. She was ball. But I should have known. One time I took her to, like, the Apple store to, like, buy some stuff, and she bought, like, eight iPads.

[A]

Okay. So you should have.

[D]

Yeah, I'm like, I'm not paying for dinner.

[A]

Who needs eight iPads?

[D]

Yeah, she brought, like, iPads for her entire family. She was, like, balling like that.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when we gotta. We gotta start talking, because the math is indeed not math.

[D]

Not math. And for sure.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. But so they're. They're living together, one income household. Downstairs neighbors are real cool. So Gustavo says one day he comes to our door and asked if I could lend him some money to send his son. So two layers. Like, he could have just asked for money. He's like, but it's also for a baby that I made. So get us some sympathy. Gustavo says I gave him $20, and he told me that he would pay me back that week. Mind you, we were on a super tight budget and had no extra money. I told my wife about this, and immediately she said that I got played. I want to pause there. Never lend more money than you cannot lose. If you need that 20, you cannot give that 20 away.

[D]

I learned that.

[A]

Don't do it.

[D]

But that's a lesson you gotta learn. You gotta learn that you do, because.

[A]

If you give out that money, every time you see that person, you're gonna be looking at them like, oh, oh, you got money for chick Fil A, but you ain't got my $20. Oh, you got Starbucks money, but you ain't got. Like, you'll hate that person. You will fixate on them.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And you'll be mad at yourself. So wait, how did you learn that you can't lend people money that you don't have?

[D]

I mean, even, like, when I started first doing stuff, like in stand up, like, when I first started making a little bit of money, like family, you know, even family. Like, they'll ask to borrow money. And then you lend it to them like all like, yeah, sure, for sure, whatever you need. And then they just pretend that, you know, they just pretend that you never lent them nothing.

[A]

That's when everybody gets amnesia.

[D]

Yeah. And then you become like a asshole for being like, hey, how about that money that I lent you?

[A]

Uh huh. And then if they gaslight you to like, what you need is so bad. Why you need it so bad? Yeah, it's mine.

[D]

It's my money. Yeah, I need this.

[A]

It's so funny to me because we can't forget our childhood traumas. We can't forget the bad stuff that happens in our life. But let somebody lend you some money that you don't want to pay back. Amnesia.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, I've been lucky. I'm not saying that I won't, but I really don't like to borrow money.

[A]

Same.

[D]

Yeah, I'll borrow money. Like, let's say I go out and I first, I lost my wallet. I don't have a wallet. All right. I'll be like, hey, lend me this. But it's not money I don't have. It's money. I'll just venmo with you. So you. Yeah, like I. I have the money. I don't borrow money I don't have. I mean, I've been lucky. Some people have to do it, right? They don't choose to do it, but some people choose to do it. Like they'll borrow money to go party.

[A]

Which is wild because I've had that. And that's the worst because I'm like, you are now. You in the club popping bottles on my dime.

[F]

Yep.

[A]

You ordered bottles of Andre with my coins.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll kill you. No, that's. That's the absolute worst is seeing people like, living it up on money that's not theirs. Although I do pry. I am proud of them because they were like, I'm not gonna party all my money. I'mma party with your money.

[D]

But there was a time when I.

[A]

Was 20, 23 or 24, I think I was 23. And I. My car had gotten told like 12 times. Those of you who have listened to this podcast know this. We're not going back into it. Don't. Don't judge me.

[D]

What type of scam was you running with the tow truck and insurance companies?

[A]

Bro, it was bad. I knew the exact price that it costed to get towed.283. As long as you picked it up on the first day. $40 extra each day. The people at the Tow place knew me, they wouldn't even have to pull up my file. It was bad.

[D]

12 times. This isn't a year.

[A]

I mean, it was like, probably two years.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, 12 times. To be honest, to say that your car got 12 towed 12 times in an entire lifetime is insane. If you're in your whole life, you got towed 12 times, people be like, what was you doing? The fact that you did it in two years is highly impressive.

[A]

I had just moved to la. I was really figuring out parking and I was a scammer. So I was trying to cheat the system, and the system really cheated your girl.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And getting told when you don't have money is like a life ruiner. It's actually super predatory because in nicer neighborhoods, they don't really have that many tow zones. And so rich people don't have to worry about like, oh, street cleaning, or like, oh, I gotta move it at 7am for traffic and stuff like that. So, you know, it is a scam. But the last time I got towed, I was parking somewhere that I thought was, like, not a regulation red zone because some people would paint in front of their houses red so people wouldn't park there. But I knew it wasn't the city, so, you know, I'd be trying it. And I got told, and I really couldn't afford to. And I had to ask my best friend to, like, give me the money to. Why? I just told her. I got told that she offered and I took the money. And then I thought about it every day and every night until I paid her back.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, because you're a good person. I'll say.

[B]

I'll.

[D]

I'll say this, like, to whoever's listening, look, if you ever borrowed money from somebody and you promised to pay them on a certain date and the person don't bring it up, don't. That person didn't forget. Like, I know you. You try to pretend like, oh, like no one forgot that they lent you money. They know what they lend you and they know when you're supposed to pay it back because we don't mention it. That doesn't mean we forgot.

[A]

Nah, that means you a fool. No, you're just polite and you're not trying to have an awkward situation. You trust the person you gave money to. No, I'm there. I'm with you. So his wife says that he or that Gustavo just got scammed or played is her words. So Gustavo says I tell her that the guy is always nice and he said he would give us Our money back. And at the end of the week, I go to his door and ask for the money. Okay. Confrontational. He said to give him another week, following week, try it again. And now he's not even answering the door. This is for $20. America's down bad. I never see this guy for weeks. I'm pissed, and I want that money back. So I'm leaving sticky notes on his door telling him he can drop off the money at any time. I told the building manager the story, and he just laughed at me. Because, Gustavo, now you just petty. Now you just. Now you just mad that your wife was right, that you got played, and now you want to prove her wrong. And I love that for you. I love pettiness. So he didn't go to the building manager, who laughed because he's like, what am I? I've been in. I'm not in it. He told me the guy was always asked people for money to give to his son, but he just takes the money and buys lottery tickets. What, like you said, partying with your money? Yeah. One day I get a knock at the door, and here he is with two ten dollar bills and then tells me that he's a man of his word. I get the money, but this isn't the end. A few laters. A few laters. A few laters, Gustavo. I'm gonna start saying that a few laters.

[D]

How much laters, though?

[A]

Are you black, Gustavo? Because this is giving black time telling.

[D]

I mean, he said the congregation.

[A]

True. I mean, that's what the people who listen to this podcast are. The con all caps, segregation.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

We are a fake religion. I'm trying to write it off and not pay taxes. So here we are. But he said, a few laters. I'm stealing that, Gustavo. A few later, I noticed that he doesn't live here anymore. Then one night, about six cops come to my door asking if he still lives here. I'm super confused about what's going on. Come to find out he had been dealing heroin and had just recently kidnapped an older lady and was on the run. That this took a turn at the end, that I was like, excuse me. Yeah, he said, I couldn't believe it. But my wife immediately said, saw that one coming.

[D]

Saw that one. Yeah.

[A]

You saw a heroin kidnapping? Yeah.

[D]

You saw heroin kidnapping on a $20 borrow. That's. It's impressive.

[A]

That's wild.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

How much are you. Is this. That's a raven. You see it?

[D]

I know that's a reach.

[A]

Are you having visions? So Gustavo says, Definitely learn my lesson. And now can't bring myself to give any money to anyone, even some family. Oh, Gustavo. Okay, don't let this heroin kidnapper sour you. But also, you too petty to let people borrow money because you are counting the seconds until it's returned.

[D]

But that's my thing. It was like, I don't mind lending money. Like, I. If you need money, I want, like, and I have it. I want to lend it to you, but pay me back. Like, that's the issue. Like, I don't want to give you money. Just pay me back. When you say you are. I don't even be putting times on it. Like, I'll just be like, when are you gonna pay me back? You set the time, and I just.

[A]

Say, okay, see, that's smart. I mean, I took this stuff further recently. If people ask to borrow money from me, I just give them the money, and then I tell them not to worry about it. Because for me, like, I don't want you stressing about it.

[D]

What if it's a lot to me?

[A]

I don't want to be thinking about it. I mean, it has been a lot sometimes.

[D]

So you're just giving away money?

[A]

I don't do it anymore. I had to, like, really sit down with my accountants and also, like, with my therapist and be like, why do I. I think I don't deserve my things that I've earned and worked really hard for. It was, like, a psychological thing. And I was like, okay. So then, you know, the next time somebody asked me for money, I would be like, I remember the last time I gave someone money. I knew it was going to be the last time, at least for a long time. But I was like, hey, you got to start managing your finances. Because you. You telling me all these stories about stuff popping up all the time. And it's like, I freelance for a long time, so I understand that, like, if your money's up and down, like, you have to be prepared to not get a check. You know how these corporations work. They want you to work immediately, and then they want to pay you 45 days later. So it's like, you have to understand, like, you can't spend money that you don't already have. You can't go out and spend a check that you earned if it's not in the mail.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So I have those conversations, and then I think it kind of makes it clear to the person, like, the bank is closed.

[D]

The last time I lent somebody money, like, they. They asked me to borrow money, and then they were Writing like a whole paragraph. And I was like. Like, stop. I was like, stop right there. I was like, listen, I'll lend you the money, no problem. You need the money, I'll lend it to you, no problem. The only thing I ask is don't make me look like a dick where I have to chase you. Tell me when you can pay me back and just pay me back on that time. That's all I ask. I don't want to chase you. I don't want to be asking you for money because now you're bringing me a problem. I don't want the problem. I'll lend you the money, no problem. You can pay me back. They said, no problem. I'll pay you back in three days. It's been almost three months, and I haven't heard a thing for long.

[E]

Damn.

[D]

And this is like a friend. The other thing, it's like a friend.

[A]

You gotta stop over. See, that's. That's when you mess with the friendship, you have to stop over. I do this if I'm late. I always give a lower estimate of when I'm gonna arrive. Cause I think that makes people feel better. But in my head, I know it's gonna be later than that. Like, if you know realistically how long it's gonna take, you give yourself that and a little bit of extra time so that you can actually make the deadline. Don't say it's gonna be three days if you really don't know the day nor the hour.

[D]

Right, Right. Yeah. I mean, I was like, whenever you can. When can you pay me back? Whenever you can. And he was like, three days and it's been three months.

[A]

He should have said five business months. And he pretends.

[D]

He pretends it doesn't. Like, he doesn't even bring it up. Like, he doesn't. Like, he's not like, hey, give me till this time. Like, he pretends it didn't happen.

[E]

Damn.

[D]

I'm gonna text him after this.

[A]

No. You know, you got me riled up.

[D]

I'm texting him. It was like I was on a.

[A]

Podcast and I just remembered.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

It jogged my memory that you owe me money. And when is it coming? Cause, yeah, that's the worst. Like, especially if I see my friend, like, on Instagram stories or anywhere having any smiling. I'm like, how you smiling? You owe me money.

[D]

How you smiling? You owe money.

[A]

How do you fix your lips to. Yeah, how you fix your lips to open up like that and show all your teeth when you owe me money?

[D]

Right, Right.

[A]

Yes. Well, we're gonna take a quick break for some non scam advertisements. We'll be right back with Historic Hoodwinks Robbery.

[F]

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[A]

And we're back. And it's time for historic Hoodwinks. My favorite part of the podcast where I'm gonna regale in With a famous group of con criminals. Maybe just one. Maybe we love them, maybe we hate them, maybe they're goofy. We'll see. See, I want to make a note up top here because we do not scam journalists. The story was researched primarily from David Brown's Rolling Stone article, Faking the Funk. How Bootsy Collins imposters pulled off the ultimate Music Biz scam. So shout out to David Brown. He will be in the footnotes if you want to click and read more. So we're talking about Bootsy Collins. Bootsy Collins is one of the most impactful, long standing figures in the tapestry of American music, especially R and B, funk and pop. With his iconic look of star shaped glasses, top hat, sparkling attire, Bootsy became recognizable figure in the music industry. Not just for his killer base, but his signature style. However, impersonators use that to his their advantage. Because Bootsy wears hella clothes. Like my guy looks like it's Halloween every day. So if you have a similar build, you could just put on all of Bootsy stuff and we wouldn't know if you were Bootsy. Especially if it's white people trying to figure it out. Like they can't tell us apart with no hats and glasses.

[D]

Sure, for sure.

[A]

And I actually worked with Bootsy Collins once. He's a very fun dude. Extremely tall.

[D]

I mean, he looks fun. No guy. No guy. Dressing like this is not fun.

[A]

Not fun as hell. Yeah, he was wild. And I can't believe he was really getting down like that still, you know, in his older age. And I love that for him. Yeah, he was actually him and. Oh gosh, who was the other guy that was on the show? It's not George Clinton, is it? Yeah, George Clinton. I'm gonna spill a little tea. Did y' all know that he was beefing? At least at the time that we shot this, we had to shoot them separately even though they were in the same scene. Cause they was beefing and I was like, not the old man beef. Come on now. Y' all too old for this. Y' all too grown. But we had to shoot things twice because they refused to be in the same room together. And I was like, ooh, but you'll never see that show. It's never coming out.

[D]

But.

[A]

And that's not Boosie's fault. He was amazing. And so was George. But also Snoop Dogg is Boosie Collins nephew. Did you know that?

[D]

Real nephew or like how Snoop called everyone nephew?

[A]

Not nephew. Yeah, blood related. Nephew. Blood related. For real? Yes. Long line of talented tall people. Yes. Who love weed. Love that for them. That's what they pass down in their family.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

So we'll post pictures of Boosie's, but obviously he dresses very eccentrically and, you know, people could mimic that easily. So a little about Bootsy. William Earl Collins. There we go. A very black name. Love that grew up in Cincinnati and he was given his famous nickname by his mother. Will grew up to join his brother Phillips Catfish Collins band, the Pacemakers, before eventually becoming the original member of James Brown and the JB's.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

So two years after their time with JB, him and his brother joined George Clinton Funkadelic, eventually becoming a part of the larger rotating members of the Parliament Funkadelic, which is P Funk. And so we have a picture here of George. I mean, look at how all of them dress. This was like the original Afropunk and I'm living.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, it was, yeah, like Afrofuturism.

[A]

And it was really dope to see, like they really innovated so much in the culture. So Bootsy played on every Parliament and Funkadelic record until the early 1980s. And his signature look evolved to make him not only one of the most recognizable members of P Funk, but an icon in pop culture that echoes to this day. In 1976, Collins launched a new level of pop stardom when he was made the star of his own project, Bootsy's Rubber Band. They went from playing mid sized theaters to 20,000 seat arenas, making 25,000 to $35,000 a night, which in today's inflation coin is about 125,000 to $150,000 today a night. Imagine making that joint stand up. I mean, you will.

[D]

That's what I mean.

[A]

If you're not already, that's what I make. If you're not already, I'm an out. You I'm going to see. And you try to chase down them coins from your friends.

[D]

Yeah, I'm never going to about those $25.

[A]

I want it to be. I want it to be as small as $25. And I want you to be that petty, Ian. I want that for you. Like, bro, you got a HBO Max comedy special. You over here hunting down your homeboy for 25,000.

[D]

A deal is a deal. A deal is a deal.

[A]

That's why you're not getting it back. He saw Roman on HBO and he said, not Mr. HBO trying to get money.

[D]

Yeah. That is why, though, that actually is why.

[A]

He said, not Mr. HBO looking for my coins. He better call Warner Brothers. He got you there. You said, I'm get my money.

[D]

I'm get my money. I'll post about it, too. Follow me, because y', all, I'm gonna get this money.

[A]

Y' all follow Elara. He gonna get this money.

[D]

He be wearing. He be wearing like mad designer clothes. Like, next time I see him, I'm gonna be like, yo, give me those, Louis. I need that.

[A]

So you pay my time to consign my guy. Take it on down to the. To the. Where was that? Buffalo Exchange. You better go on down there and get my money. Okay, the next post I see, I'm gonna follow you. And the next post I see, it better be you holding up $25 like a money phone.

[D]

I'm gonna get that money.

[A]

So the. You know, Boosie, he's booked, he's busy, he's making all this money, he's popping. We love this for him. So as this is developing, you know, he's got this iconic look. He's putting out these albums. His 1978 album, Bootsy Player of the Year, came out, and he had on fake cardboard sunglasses on the inside cover for fans to cut out and wear. So in the album, he was like, y' all can look like me, girlies. Remember when albums had stuff.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

In them?

[D]

Yeah, yeah. It used to. It was an experience.

[A]

I got a durag with a little Bow Wow album. A white durag.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it was a bandana.

[D]

It was an experience.

[E]

It was.

[A]

It was. And you were excited to purchase the album and then see what was inside and what extra, you know, featured. Read all the lyrics and everything. It used to be an experience. Now you just stream it.

[D]

Yeah. Which is a lot easier. It's a little soulless.

[A]

I will, too. Because going down to.

[D]

What was it?

[E]

That's a lot.

[A]

Sam Goode.

[D]

Yeah. Sam Goode.

[A]

Blockbuster. Not Blockbuster.

[D]

Fye, I think for your entertainment. Used to sell album.

[A]

Fye.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Who else? They got that record store in LA that's, like, holding on as, like, a relic now. Columbia Record, is it Capitol Record. Capitol Records. There we go. See, I'm trash. But, you see, that's where Best Buy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Used to go to Beyonce. Used to go into Best Buy. Sign albums.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It was a different time, and sometimes I'm nostalgic for that. But then also, it's nice to just. Well, I mean, I'm not that old, so it was gone very soon. We was in the MP3 players very quickly. But now, I don't know, we're having the same problems, like, you know, Ticketmaster is about to take a hit by the FTC because all the scammers have overrun the site. And I knew one of my friends at work, she was in line for the Taylor Swift concert tickets, but like an online line and she was number 1600 and didn't get no tickets.

[D]

How fast was it moving?

[A]

It wasn't moving very quickly. A lot of people who were real people did not get tickets. And then the bots were trying to sell them for like 34,000.

[D]

It was scalpers, right? Scalpers bought all of them, right? Yeah, like the bots.

[A]

Because people buy bots and they use the bots to buy up all the tickets and then they skyrocket the price. But it used to be you had to sit out and I'm told you sat out in the rain or you know, you waited on the street corner at some place.

[D]

But my, my thing is, what? Can't they just make the tickets non transferable? Then the bots got no, then there's nothing they could do with them.

[A]

Yeah, but for some reason they've been enabling this ecosystem. I mean we have verified users.

[D]

Yeah, they win, I guess because the tickets sell out. So they're like, what do we care? We're making our money.

[A]

That's true. That's very true. And then also the person who's left holding the bag is the person with the bot. So hopefully they overcharge enough to make back their money and not need to sell the extra tickets. But if they don't, for some reason people, if you, if you a bot and you bought the baby tickets, I know you down bad. Imagine being a bot buying up the baby concert at Smoothie King Arena.

[D]

He, he did Smoothie King.

[A]

He did not do Smoothie King because Smoothie King said they, he couldn't do it. He had such low ticket sales. They said, no, sir, we're canceling this. We're not even. You haven't even afforded enough money for us to get security. We not opening up the pressure shops and nothing for you.

[D]

I read some articles. Wasn't he giving it away like at an Applebee's or something?

[A]

A Cheesecake Factory? He was trying to give away the tickets and some people weren't taking them.

[E]

How do you.

[D]

I mean.

[A]

And he did 2 for 1. He did BOGO tickets at one venue where it was like, if you buy one, get one free. Cause he was trying to get a crowd there and I was like, dababy. This is what you get. This is what you get for misogyny and homophobia. You get Bogo tickets.

[D]

Damn. That's unfortunate. Cause he's actually very talented.

[A]

He a little one note. I used to love Dababy, but he a little one note. He doing that same song over and over, which is a scam. Scam.

[D]

It's all a scam.

[A]

They all sound like, baby, yo, baby. And then it's like, do crazy. And then it's how I rap.

[D]

That's his flow. But he can rap.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's like everybody got one good karaoke song. He got that. He got that. I appreciate you trying to give him some grace, but he don't deserve.

[D]

I mean, I think I. I was like. I mean, I. I think he's good. I still think he's good. It's such unfortunate, though. Damn. I mean, mean, the smoothie arena thing was crazy.

[A]

It was sad but hilarious.

[D]

Imagine the scalpers.

[A]

Let me see if we can get their comeuppance. Okay. Yeah, I feel bad for the scalpers. I feel bad for the scalpers. They're like, oh, it's about to be a banger. Imagine being a scalper standing outside, and it's just nobody coming in the arena. They're like, did it get canceled?

[D]

Yeah. I hate. I actually. I hate the scalpers. Well, because they're. It's like a DARA scam, because I learned this from. From, like, the ticket, from ticketing things. What happens is, once you start selling tickets, the scalpers come in, they're like, this is a hot ticket. So, like, that's why you see, like, an artist come out, and they're like, the tickets sold out in 30 minutes. And it's like, that wasn't people who bought it. It was bots that are gonna resell it. So every show just sells out with the bots thinking that they're gonna resell it.

[A]

Yeah, it's the middleman economy and it's killing us. But so he was giving out these cardboard sunglasses, and people were putting them on or whatever, you know, enjoying the experience. And it wasn't so hard to appear as him. As Collins himself wore platform boots in addition to iconic star glasses, a top hat, and glitter decked outfits. Because a lot of his outfits were, like, just the same version. You know, how now the rap girlies all wearing leotards, but it'll be like a different color or it'll have some sequins on it, but it's basically the same outfit but just like a different color. That's what Lucy was doing.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's very easy to mimic even George Clinton disguised Himself. And he's in his band to look like Bootsy Collins so he could hang out with a girl.

[D]

Sure. What Sure?

[A]

I mean, that's messed up. How you gonna pretend to be your friend to go hang out with women? You tricking women and you tricking your friend. That ain't right.

[D]

Well, back now, I mean, you'll get canceled for that now. But in the 70s, yeah, in the.

[A]

70S, that was allowed violation of consent. I thought I was with Bootsy right now.

[D]

That's like a pervert, you know?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it was then. People just were not talking about it. They were like, oh man, I got.

[D]

Yeah, what are you gonna do?

[A]

Right?

[D]

Thought it was Bootsy.

[A]

So Collins found it funny at first and even put it on his song she Jam, which is from his 1979 album and quotes. He said, this is him, said everyone. They were almost Bootsy Decked out in their star shaped shades Little boys and little girls they were almost Bootsy Shining all over the place and actually, I should have just let him sing it because that was trash. What'd he say? Okay, enough. I read the rest of it. As you can see. He sings it way better than I read it.

[D]

This would be futuristic now. And this was 1979, like that type of music.

[A]

It was. I mean. Cause they knew what they were doing. And also, like all of our music now is just samples and interpolation. So we're listening to the same song over and over. We just like now people are just rapping over it about how much money they have and you know, how good their penis is.

[D]

Which is nice sometimes when you're drinking on a Friday to hear it is.

[A]

It is. I won't lie. I can't lie. I've danced to some real hood rat shit. Yeah, it's fun.

[D]

It's a good time.

[A]

It's a vibe. Okay, so almost Bootsy number one. One day, Archie iv, one of Collins early managers, received a call from headquarters of Collins label, the Bourbon Call office with Warner Brothers. The employee said that Collins was in the office asking for an advance on his next royalty check. It was odd because first, his checks were not handled by Warner Brothers. They were handled by George Clinton's company. So he already asking at the wrong place for money. Right. And second, because Collins was in Ohio. So they were like, boosie's not even here and we don't even cut his checks. So what are you doing here? The employee stalled and left. And when he returned, the fake Bootsy had disappeared. Obviously he was like, well, the jig is up. It didn't work. At the same time, there were also reports that someone in Cleveland was going around claiming to be Bootsy and trying to buy musical gear on a store charge account in his name. At the same time, real Bootsy was elsewhere in the country. So people all over the country are like, I'm Boosie Collins. I'm like, will the real Boosie Collins please stand up? So though the incidents were odd and a step from the previous impersonations, almost Bootsy number one just disappeared as quickly as he appeared, without seeming to have done much damage. So this was the fake Bootsy. He popped up at the record label and was like, I want my money. And they were like, who are you?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was like, never mind, Forget it.

[D]

Don't pay me anything, right?

[A]

He's like, I'll figure it out. Don't call the cops. It just like speeds out and I love that. Give up the grip. He tried it, it didn't work. He let it go. Yeah, do it at the club, you know what I mean? Get some free bottle service, but you don't have to do it again. But the first one, the first fake appearance that he heard about began to feel like, bad to Bootsy Collins. He starts to feel the weight of like he has been walking around in this character for so long that he's like, damn, now people are just pretending to be me. And it's working because I literally dress up in a costume every day. So being the leader for the land of the band for so long, coupled with illness, a motorcycle injury led him to take a reclusive semi retirement at his 23 acre ranch in 1982. So he was like, I'm tired of putting on this drag every day. Now people are impersonating me. I've become a cartoon. I'm tired. I'm sick and tired. And he had a motorcycle accident. So he was like, I'm gonna take a break. Understandable. In 1984, he slowly re entered the business and began writing for new Prince inspired act called Microwave AKA R B sing songwriter Michael Lane. So Michael Lane decided his stage name was going to be Microwave. And we got a little piece of Microwave. Just play a little bit of that.

[D]

This looks like a Dave Chappelle sketch.

[A]

It does. Wait, it really does. It looks like Prince playing basketball.

[D]

Yeah, this looks like a fake.

[A]

Not you being the designer of your time. Oh, I love that. I love that. So he starts writing for Microwave and they're doing the synthesizer and all of that stuff. So by 1988, things were looking up again for Bootsy, and he released his first album since coming back. What's Bootsy doing? And met Patty, the woman who would become his wife. And we have a picture of Bootsy and Patty together. I like Bootsy and Patty. That sounds good together. That sounds like people should be dating.

[D]

All this is fascinating because all this happened. Like, we still haven't even. I'm still not even alive yet in this timeline.

[A]

No, I'm not either. And I love that for us. But also, this looks like a fun ass time. I'm not gonna lie.

[D]

Bootsy has came and went through three different phases. I'm not even alive yet.

[A]

Right. And then I ended up working with him, so I was like, look at the world. He out here. So look. I love that. Patty also was like, I'll get some interesting glasses as well to really look like I'm Bootsy's girl.

[D]

Sure. Cause this is 88 and they're dressed that's like 70s outfits or 60s, I guess.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, they're a little. Yeah, they're a little behind. I feel like it's time to get. Well, the 80s were a bad time for fashion.

[D]

I think they were being like hipsters. Like, they were like, oh, we're the vintage. We dress vintage, you know?

[A]

Yeah. But Also in the 80s, everybody dressed like they were on cocaine. So I don't think anybody would have thought they stuck out. Remember, that was like all the hairspray. That was like the sleeves just had to be past the top of your head. Like, you know, everybody was wild, so I feel like they fit in. So Bootsy number two, another, almost Bootsy, appeared, this time more brazen than ever. One day, Patty received a call asking if Bootsy had been in Los Angeles the day before, when he was currently in Cincinnati. The call came from an upscale hotel where a man calling himself Bootsy Collins checked in and asked for free room and free room service. I love that when people perceive that you're rich, they'll give you things for free. But if they think that you don't have no money, they won't. But it's like, either way, the person's not paying. Like, don't you want your money?

[D]

Yeah. No, no.

[A]

They don't get so much free stuff.

[D]

You don't even really have to be rich. You just have to have clout.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

If you have clout, you get free stuff.

[A]

Because, like, if you post it, then we'll get some of the cloud and, you know, people know you were here then.

[D]

Yeah. And I don't think it ever works.

[A]

I mean, sometimes it does because you'll see, like, a restaurant or something that you've never heard of. And, like, I remember working in restaurants in la, like, when I first moved here, and there were certain people who got completely free meals, like, expensive ass meals, because they would get photographed leaving the restaurant, and then I would end up in the tablets. And people be like, oh, that's what's poppin. Let's go over there and pay our real money. So sometimes it works. But I feel like for a hotel, like, y' all just get your money.

[D]

I mean, if you're that level, there's a. There's a. I think there's like, a level of celebrity that. That works for, right? Like, there's like, certain. Certain celebs. Yes, for sure. But, you know, I ain't getting photograph coming out no restaurant. And people are going in. I guarantee you that. And I've gotten.

[A]

I've gotten the free meal. Stay away from that place.

[D]

Look, I've gotten the free meal, and they think that it's gonna help. And I'm like, listen, all right, I'll take the free meal. You wanna get scammed? You're asking to get scammed? I'll scam you, but don't expect your clientele to turn over on me.

[A]

Hey, hey. You saying that, but I don't believe that. Ian. Okay, we all hbo, okay? Romantic comedy. I feel like the girls might start going to the carryout. You pick up back.

[D]

I literally had this. Just earlier today, this company sent me a. A full box of clothes. Like, it's like, I. Like, they said they wanted to send me a package, and I thought they would send me, like, a shirt or two, but it's full wardrobe. Like, I'm gonna have to start handing this out, like, at the tig, like, of clothes. And I'm like, all right. I mean, I'll post you in my story. I don't know.

[A]

I mean, you'd be surprised. So she. And, I mean, you know, you know the vibes. So she received a similar call from Las Vegas not long after. And in quotes, they said we had to say, well, that's not Bootsy. It's an impersonator. But he'd already gotten his goods and done his damage. So the wife was like, that's not my husband. But they were like, where he gone? So y' all gonna pay us or who gonna pay the bill?

[D]

Well, not us.

[A]

So it seems like you need to call your bank hotel. Yeah, y' all need to hit.

[D]

I Don't even know who this is, right?

[A]

I would have hung up. Click. So during the spring, others continued to be fooled by Bootsy number two. And he worked his way to appearing at the New York Music Awards, an event also attended by musicians such as Lou Reed, Paul Simon, and LL Cool J. And fake Bootsy. Bootsy number two. Bootsy number two improved on the scam.

[D]

He's good.

[A]

So Miles Davis. He's great. Miles Davis encountered almost Bootsy number two in the lobby of a hotel that they were staying at, where he managed to spend an entire ride with them from New York to D.C. so now fake Bootsy. Imagine getting in a car with fake Bootsy and you're Miles Davis.

[D]

I feel like, shouldn't you. From New York to D.C. shouldn't you be able. I mean, that's a three hour drive. Shouldn't. Like, I feel like something must be said where you're like, what?

[A]

He didn't say nothing. That didn't.

[F]

Right.

[A]

That didn't add up. He was not Bootsy right.

[D]

Something. He got to say something that don't add up. Like they got to be inside music stuff.

[A]

They must have been real lit. I feel like every time Miles wanted to talk shop, Bootsy. Fake Bootsy number two was like, turn that song up. That's my favorite song.

[D]

Right, right, right, right. Because I mean, it could be something. I feel like if you asked him, like, what type of guitar you use, he would be like, I gotta pee. I don't know.

[A]

I pee so much. Y' all like, what's happening? Yeah, I don't know how you make it three hours and don't realize you're with an imposter. So it starts to get weird when Adam Holzman, who was a keyboard artist, this is a quote from him, he said, why aren't we going out to a proper dinner? And then saying goodbye like normal. If you ran into to one of your heroes, you'd hang out, but it wouldn't turn into a 247 thing. So his. The. The real musicians and stars were like, it's getting weird because fake Bootsy number two, like, he's like, oh, where else y' all going? Y' all go back to the hotel. I'mma come with you. Oh, y' all want to go to dinner again? Let's get breakfast in the morning. I'll sleep on your couch. And they were like, this is not booy. Just be saying what's up? And going home if we get dinner.

[D]

But yeah, Boosie usually just say he's.

[A]

Trying to Live in my basement.

[D]

Yeah. He give me a head nod and go about his thing. He don't.

[A]

He don't try to live with me. What's going on?

[D]

He don't invite me to brunch, right?

[A]

Boosie number two is like, let me hold $25. You know I'm Bootsy.

[D]

You know I'm good for it.

[A]

So soon after almost, Bootsy began complaining about money, asking the bass player for a handout. Oh, my gosh. And then disappeared. Exactly what we just said. Boots number two was like, damn, times is hard for me. Bootsy college, a millionaire 10 times over.

[D]

Yeah, you got $30, right?

[A]

You're asking for small amounts of money. He later made an appearance at the convention of the national association of Music Merchants, the trade group Institutes of Stores and Makers, where he tracked. He racked up limo bills and had $10,000 worth of guitars shipped to Louisiana. So he got them to drive him out to this event. He racked up limo bills and he also said, can y' all send me some guitars to Louisiana? I'm Boosie Collins. Y' all know what I mean?

[D]

Y' all know me.

[A]

Y' all know me. So Bootsy Collins manager Bill Waller ended up stuck with the invoices because he's like, yeah, send it all to my manager. You know him, Manager at [e-mail]. he got me. I'm Boosie. I don't care cash. I'm too rich for that. So during all of these appearances, Bootsy number two avoided playing an instrument at all costs, often changing the subject or walking away if it was brought up. Wow. So he had a guitar as a prop, and they're like, let's do a jam session. He had to go to the bathroom. Yeah, I don't know again. So the last straw was when fellow bassist Freddie Perez encountered Bootsy number two, whom he tried to offload some of his ill gotten equipment on. So Bootsy number two ran to someone really in the band, was like, you want these guitars that I have sent Louisiana. Bandmate of mine, Bootsy's manager Bill, and his lawyer Bob Donnelly, began to take legal action. They were finally able to get his phone number through a DJ at a club. And though many of the exact details have been lost at the time in a sting operation involving Bootsy's team, Rolling Stone magazine, and allegedly the FB and the I, they were finally able to take almost Bootsy number two down. So then the magazine published a story of the exploits in the 80s. And. And soon after, Doug Thickman received a call from a female college student in Boston saying that fake Bootsy number two was in her apartment. He told her to call the police, which she did. And it's unknown what happened to her. Oh, no. What happened after Bootsy number two vanished into thin air? So we don't know what happened to him. I think he just took the costume off and was like, okay, nevermind. Honestly, nevermind. And he got away with it for a long time, though.

[D]

You know, it would be a real scam if Bootsy Collins came out and was like, that was actually me. Yo, there is no Bootsy number two.

[A]

Because there's a Bootsy number three. And this is quick.

[D]

He's like, I just been living my life like this.

[A]

But imagine if you impersonated yourself and then anytime people. It's just like if you get a credit card and you go to the mall and you run it up and then you call in a fraud report.

[D]

Yeah, right. I mean, it's honestly a pretty cool way to live. You just do whatever you want. And when it backfires, you're like, I don't know who that is. That guy's wilding.

[A]

Wasn't me. This is the shaggy lifestyle. Wasn't me.

[D]

Right?

[A]

So Booty number three, this is the last Bootsy we know of. So though Bootsy number two disappeared, they didn't stop trying. In 1991, the Welsh guitar band the Alarm encountered Bootsy number three, trying to enlist them for a Live Aid type event to benefit the Goal War veterans. However, not only did he not play bass, he raised suspicion when he tried to get the band to pay for his hotel expenses. Now, this is the Alarm Band. And the Hair is alarming.

[D]

It is alarming.

[A]

It's giving the 80s, 1991.

[D]

It's literally giving alarm. Like a. Like a siren that went off, right?

[A]

And then just like a cartoon, the hair just shot up in the air. And I love that for them. And I love that he was like, y' all come to this benefit concert. I'm Bootsy number three. I mean, I'm Bootsy Collins. And also, can I pay for my hotel?

[D]

I'm Bootsy number three. I mean, Bootsy Collins.

[A]

So Bootsy number three was booted from the tour bus along with a pet wolf shouting, this is what Boosie number three said. Why do you have a pet wolf? Bootsy number Three? This is too much. Boosie number three was shouting, you'll be here for my lawyers. You'll regret this. Okay.

[D]

I love your 80s voice. You like, you'll regret this, you jive turkeys.

[A]

You'll regret this, baby, like, love that. I hope he shouted in. Bootsy's voice was so iconic. So at 71, the real Bootsy Collins has moved beyond the legacy of all the fake bootsies. He still writes and appears on records and is even Preparing to create NFTs and Bootsy's Bitcoin. Now, Bootsy, now I'm starting to really think you might be all them fake Bootsies, you know, it's NFTs, Bootsy. Those are a scam.

[D]

Super scam.

[A]

Impersonators have moved on to social media, where his wife Patty says they still fight those who illegally use his image. But in the age of almost or the fake Bootsies hitchhiking cross country, that's ended. But yeah, you can get on Instagram. And because he. His fan base is in their 70s as well, you know, 60s. Like, they don't know if they talking to the real boosie.

[D]

No, they don't. No idea.

[A]

And now on Twitter, you can buy a verified check. So the old Twitter girlies are really not gonna know if they talking to the real Bootsy. Right?

[D]

Right. You'll never know.

[A]

Pay for my hotel, baby. Love it. All right, guys, that brings us to the saddest part of the show. The end where I have to let Ian go. But before we do that, just a quick scammer of the week. This is where we highlight a charlatan who's worthy of our praise. Or maybe not. We'll see. This week, we're talking about Derek Patterson, 23, of Compton, California. Okay, Compton. He has been arrested for theft after stealing money from his Grinder hookups.

[E]

Damn.

[A]

Okay, he do look fresh. Are those Burberry pants?

[D]

Yeah, those look like Burberry. I can't see what the belt is. Those definitely Burberry.

[A]

Can we zoom in?

[D]

I think they're Burberry adjacent.

[A]

Herberry. Blueberry.

[D]

Burberry, little brother.

[A]

Blueberry. You know, blueberry fire. I don't. I can't tell what that belt is. It almost looks like it's a Gucci belt. You know, the girls love a Gucci belt or a Hermes belt.

[D]

It might be a Gucci belt. Oh, yeah. I think that's two GS.

[A]

Yeah, I think it's Gucci. Yeah.

[D]

Which is kind of tacky. I mean, you putting Burberry on Gucci is tacky.

[A]

I mean, if it's done right, I feel like if he was gonna do the, like, mix matching of patterns, then the shirt can't be white. Like, the shirt also has to be a pattern that ties in. Like, give it a Solange moment. But also, every scammer owns a Gucci belt. I own a Gucci belt.

[D]

And Burberry pants.

[A]

Okay, I gotta buy some Burberry pants. I don't have Burberry pants yet. But every scammer has to have a Gucci belt in their arsenal. It's just a part of the vibes. That's what we do. So Patterson would meet up with men on Grindr, and while they were distracted, take the opportunity to borrow their phone and send cash to his account. Damn. So, however, during one incident in July 2021, Patterson's victim threatened him with a knife after he sent himself $3,950. That's bold.

[D]

That's specific. Why not 4,000?

[A]

Like, did he think maybe something goes off? Maybe you can only send a certain amount at once on cashier.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Maybe you could only send a certain. Maybe 4,000 is the limit.

[A]

Yeah, maybe he was getting right under that. Because I know on Zell, they have limits for daily sending and a lot of. I think, even Venmo. So maybe he was like, I'm gonna get right up.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

[A]

And then someone brandished a knife on him old school style.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So Patterson also used the victim's phone to pay for hotels and solicit money from victims, friends and family. Wow. And then he would plan to intercept it. So he would be like, send the money to Nevada. And then he was gonna go to Nevada and get the money.

[E]

Damn.

[A]

In February 2022, Patterson again asked to borrow his victim's phone, but then chased him with a stun gun and demanded money. So now he getting violent. He robbed the victim of jewelry and $120, as well as opened a line of credit with Goldman Sachs using their name. Now, Golden Sachs has been tied up in a lot of fraud through the years, so not that bold to me.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Patterson was recently sentenced to nine years in prison and ordered to pay $84,195 in restitution, including a hate crime enhancement.

[D]

He got nine years.

[A]

So he got nine years.

[D]

Damn.

[A]

Yes, because Grygre is in a website mostly for gay men.

[E]

Gay men.

[A]

Right. And so he's going on the site and it's a hookup, you know, app. And he's going there, he's taking their phones when they're not looking and sending himself money. And then he escalated it to, like, chasing people with stun guns and just straight up robbing them.

[D]

Yeah, that's wild.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Mr. Patterson. Derek, I don't fuck with this.

[D]

Yeah. That doesn't seem like something a nice person would do.

[A]

No. And also Tinder on the male to male, like, gay male side and Grindr, they face a lot of scams because the way that those apps are used, like, people tend to, like, want to hook up faster. It's like a. It's not as slow of a burn. You know, some of those apps even, like, have the location, like, how far away are you from this person? Or whatever. So he's probably able to grift a few people a day because people just be ready to get. They swerve on.

[D]

Sure, sure. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And he was ready to get.

[D]

Yeah. Nine years. That's a tough price to pay.

[A]

Nine years is a lot. I think it was because of the armed robberies at the end.

[D]

Yeah. When he got violent, that's when he.

[A]

Went south and he was targeting queer people. So that is a hate.

[D]

Now Izzy is. I wonder if he was also.

[A]

I don't know. It doesn't even seem like he was getting to the hookup.

[D]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Seems like he would be like, oh, go freshen up. And leave your phone. I need to make a call.

[D]

How do you make a phone call?

[A]

And, like, how are you getting their phones? The whole point of those apps is like, you have to have a phone.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So how you get over here?

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

If you have a phone. You asked to use my phone. I throw it out the window.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

No. Yeah. I don't have service or minutes or anything.

[A]

Minutes.

[D]

My screen broke.

[A]

We gotta wait till after nine. I don't got any time. I don't have to use any time. That's a good way. I'd be like, you got a SIM card?

[D]

Yeah, my phone don't got a SIM card.

[A]

It's more for aesthetic. I'm unplugged.

[D]

It's just a look. I got used to having something, so.

[A]

So we always ask on this show, Ian, where would you like to be found? Anything you want people to see? Any places that they can follow? You drop your socials?

[D]

Yeah, for sure. My. My HBO special is streaming on HBO Max. Is called. Called Romantic Comedy. Ian Lara Romantic Comedy. Please check it out. I'm on Instagram, Ian Lara Live. And My website is ianlarlive.com. i'm going on tour. Back on tour at the beginning of next year. So check me out there. Yes.

[A]

And y' all get on Ian Lars Instagram for sure. Because we gotta see if he gets this money back.

[D]

I'm gonna get my money. That reminded me, I'm gonna call my lawyer.

[A]

We will be waiting in the shadows. I will for short. And you're such a funny guy. Y'. All. Catch him on tour. Catch this special romantic comedy. I'm living already. And thank you so much for being on the show. You were fantastic. Super funny.

[D]

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

[A]

Yeah, of course. As always, guys, if you want to find me D I V A L A C I D valacy on all platforms. If you want to follow the show and see the photos scamgottispod on Instagram and on Twitter. If you wanted to get into me and more of my mess, you know. Two seasons by Carly is streaming right now. The Lopez V. Lopez on NBC. Y' all get into that. I'm Brookie on there. Congregation stay bootsying. Scam Goddess. This has been an earwolf production in association with Team Poco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA the Scam Goddess. Our producer is Judith Kargbo, our recording engineer is Abby Aguilar, and our audio editor is Jessie Karen. Research for the show is done by Kalen Brand. Stay scheming. Hi, I'm Kaelyn Coleman, winner of Target's HBCU Design Challenge. This challenge moved me closer to my dream of becoming a fashion designer. Through mentorship and support. You can find my design, along with creations from other black founders in Target's Black History Month collection.

[B]

New Year, new me. Cute. But how about New Year, new money? With Experian, you can actually take control of your finances. Check your FICO score, find ways to save and get matched with credit card offers, giving you time to power through those New Year's goals. You know you're gonna crush start the year off right. Download the Experian app based on FICO scoring model offers an approval not guaranteed. Eligibility requirements and terms apply subject to credit check which may impact your credit scores. Offers not available in all states. See experian.com for details.

[A]

Experian.