Norway's Crotch Enlarging Ski Jumping Scandal w/ Jon Daly

Summary

Scam Goddess – "Norway's Crotch Enlarging Ski Jumping Scandal" w/ Jon Daly

Episode Date: February 24, 2026
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Jon Daly (Comedian, Actor, Writer, Producer)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Scam Goddess, hosted by Laci Mosley and featuring comedian and actor Jon Daly, dives into one of the wildest scandals in Olympic history: Norway’s ski jumping “crotch inflation” caper. The duo breaks down the absurd lengths athletes (and their coaches) will go to for a competitive edge—this time, by illegally enhancing their jumpsuits’ crotch area for aerodynamic advantage. True to the show’s spirit, the discussion blends sharp social commentary, wild personal stories, and relentless comedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Scam Confessions: Restaurant Life & Side Hustles

[01:44 – 20:00]

• Jon’s Early Scam Life:
  • Childhood theft stories, including shoplifting DVDs and candy, which led to formative scoldings from authority figures (“She was teaching me a lesson. Yeah.” — Jon Daly, 03:43).
• Restaurant Scams:
  • Jon recalls learning the classic server scam: skimming cash payments by printing fake receipts. (“The scam was this: you give them a fake ticket… If someone paid with cash, you just keep it.” — Jon Daly, 07:01)
  • Both admit to being “personality hires” and describe the camaraderie and survival-oriented scamming among NYC service workers.
  • Laci reflects on her own cash hustle in high-end Hamptons restaurants, where staff also ran side gigs (like cocaine dealing): “We making like 800, 900, sometimes 2,000 a night... And y'all also selling cocaine on the side!” — Laci Mosley, 12:55
• Management Scams:
  • Anecdotes include a restaurant manager who turned out to be embezzling on a much bigger scale.

“Shoplifting as Civic Duty?”

[21:47 – 26:36]

• Jon shares a friend’s “Whole Foods scam”: buying some groceries and stealing high-end items at self-checkout, exploiting the store’s reluctance to confront rich-seeming customers.
  • “They don’t want to bother the rich people… their philosophy is, yeah, we kind of dial it into everything.” — Jon Daly, 22:56
• Both discuss the ethics (or lack thereof) around stealing necessities, and why corporate theft is seen differently than stealing from small businesses.

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Historic Hoodwinks: The Norway Crotch Inflating Ski Jump Scandal

[27:11 – 57:22]

The Scheme Unveiled

• At the Nordic World Ski Championships, Norwegian coach Magnus Brevic and suit technician Adrian Litvin were caught on hidden camera sewing illegal stiffened material into ski jumpers’ crotches after passing inspection.
  • Purpose: Inflate the crotch area to create more surface area, enhance aerodynamics, and boost jump distance.
  • “Ski jumpers? Oh, so it must have some aerodynamics thing.” — Jon Daly, 27:19
• Hidden camera footage captured the sewing in a very un-stealthy way (“Y’all just got this suit checked for its integrity, and then you want to sew, but you’re not even gonna do a handheld stitch… you got a whole sewing machine!” — Laci, 32:00).

The Science of the Scam

• Slightly larger suits, especially in the crotch, can significantly increase jump length (adding about half an inch can gain 9 feet, per cited study).
  • “So, if y'all just had bigger penises, you would have been jumping bigger already. But they had to put in lots of material…” — Laci, 47:12

The Cover-Up (& Aftermath)

• Skiers Marius Lindvik (Olympic gold medalist) and teammate Johan Andre Forfang claimed ignorance but were suspended. Coaches and suit technicians received 18-month bans.
  • “The officials were inserting illegal non-elastic stitching… making them larger, smoother, and more aerodynamic.” — Laci, 41:50
• The sport’s culture around “goosing the suit”—everyone cheats a little—but this time it was caught in 4K, with the head coach involved.

The Rules (and Ridicule)

• Jokes fly about “dick chips” and microchips being inserted in suits to prevent tampering in the future.
  • “Now they got an MD… the best use of 3D I’ve heard recently, they’re using 3D measurements to measure dick.” — Jon Daly, 54:06
• Both hosts lampoon the regulatory overkill and the idea of medical professionals examining crotches for Olympic fairness.

Broader Themes:

• They mock the seriousness with which officials treat this obscure sport, contrasting it with rampant doping in other sports.
  • “These people should get paid for this because it’s the only thing that’s got me interested in this dumb sport.” — Jon Daly, 52:35
• Lampooning the shame brought to Norway—the home of ski jumping—due to such a ridiculous and very visible scandal.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you can just expand your crotch and get that many more points, it’s not a real sport.” — Jon Daly, 32:24
• “It is doping, but with dicks instead of steroids.” — Jon Daly, 49:21
• “The study’s co-author… says the area stretched by the V position of the leg in the crotch area is the most noticeable and offers a great advantage. The crotch. The first time I’ve ever heard that the crotch offers a great advantage.” — Laci Mosley, 47:14
• “They should be given a gold medal just for bringing attention to this.” — Jon Daly, 52:35

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Scammer of the Week: The Fake HGTV Couple

[57:49 – 70:57]

• Laci and Jon highlight the story of a Texas couple who scammed homeowners out of $5 million by presenting themselves as a budget version of Chip and Joanna Gaines.
• Victims received unfinished home renovations; fraudsters used the money for personal expenses and plastic surgery.
• Lively roast of HGTV aesthetics (“Clawfoot tubs are annoying as hell… People be all nostalgic, like ‘oh, I bathe outside with a bucket’… it’s such a flex. Girl, we going to the store.” — Laci Mosley, 65:20)
• Jon speculates about the scammers’ looks: “The guy’s got nine extra teeth… he seems like a rapist.” — Jon Daly, 64:49 (note: this is clearly a comedic exaggeration in context)
• The case ends with potential federal prison sentences for wire fraud.

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Important Timestamps

• [04:00–08:00]: Restaurant scam confessions and how-to.
• [21:47–26:36]: Whole Foods shoplifting strategy.
• [27:11–54:35]: Deep dive into Norway’s crotchgate—scheme mechanics, video evidence, science, rules changes, and ridicule.
• [57:49–70:57]: “Scammer of the Week” – the fake Texas home improvement duo.

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Tone & Language

• Signature irreverent, comedic banter.
• Frequent meta-commentary on scams as “just making life fair,” and playful analysis of crime, race, and class in scams.
• Lampooning both the “criminals” and the systems (corporate grocery stores, Olympic bureaucracies) they exploit.

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Takeaways

• Scams, whether at the petty or Olympic level, are creatively executed responses to broken or rigged systems—sometimes deserving empathy, often deserving laughter.
• The Norway ski jump crotch inflation is a uniquely ridiculous entry in sports cheating history, notable for its creativity, absurdity, and the national shame it brought.
• Laci and Jon’s episode underscores that, in both sports and life, it often isn’t the cheating that’s remarkable—it’s the method and the cover-up.

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Episode Closing

Both hosts plug current and upcoming projects, invite listeners to check Scam Goddess social feeds for visuals, and call on their “con-gregation” to stay “schemin'”—with a reminder that the funniest scammers are sometimes the ones shaping our style, TV trends, or even Olympic history.

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“It’s a game of inches and feet!” — Laci Mosley, [57:22]

Stay schemin’, congregation.

Transcript

[John Daly]

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[Lacey Mosley]

Hi, I'm Kaitlin Coleman, winner of Target's HBCU design challenge. This challenge moved me closer to my dream of becoming a fashion designer through mentorship and support. You can find my design along with creations from other black founders in Target's Black History Month collection. Scams, cuns, Robbery and fraud Scams.

[John Daly]

Cause robbery and fraud.

[Lacey Mosley]

What's poppin, Congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, host of the podcast all about robbery, fraud and those who practice it. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. Most of the times we will be laughing at them. And today we have a comedian, an actor, a writer and a producer on the show. You've seen him on Masterminds, Amazon's fallout, Twisted Metal, Zoolander 2, and the Secret Life of Walter Mitte. And you've probably heard his voice on shows that I love, like Big mouth, American dad, 10 year old Tom, and my personal favorite, y' all already know what it is. Bob's Burgers. Yes. Congregation, please welcome John Daly to the show. Hey, John.

[John Daly]

What's up, Lacy? How are you?

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm good.

[John Daly]

How are you? Let's scam it up.

[Lacey Mosley]

Let's go. I love this.

[John Daly]

I'm ready.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay, you. I love your energy.

[John Daly]

I love your energy. I love your energy.

[Lacey Mosley]

Let's go. You bringing me up?

[John Daly]

I'm waking up already. Fantastic. I'm having a great time. I love that club Scandom with Bill Maher. This is great.

[Lacey Mosley]

Let's go.

[John Daly]

No, I mean, oh, Lord.

[Lacey Mosley]

Let's go.

[John Daly]

Anyway.

[Lacey Mosley]

But I have to ask you, John, clearly you have some kind of affinity for scams.

[John Daly]

I know what I mean.

[Lacey Mosley]

You just gave me, like, the WWE kind of like energy up top.

[John Daly]

Okay. Okay. Well, no, I just. I'm just trying. I'm just trying to bring it, you know?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, you are.

[John Daly]

I try and bring it. I'm not like a scammer, but I. Yeah, I was trying to. I was like, going through my scam history. I definitely had a shoplifting thing when I was a kid and. But really Just being a real pussy about it. Like, no, not good stuff. Just like once we stole some, like it was like always with friends and somebody would kind of distract the cashier and then I'd put like a, some video or something in my end, like a couple DVDs in my leg.

[Lacey Mosley]

DVDs are pretty large. I was a chapstick thief.

[John Daly]

Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

But you got to really. Were you wearing cargoes?

[John Daly]

Well, we got caught. You know, it wasn't. We didn't do this. Well, yeah, we, we were wearing cargos. And the thing was you'd kind of tie. Tie off your, your at the bottom of the ankle. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay. But then you're walking out and the DVDs are just like clanking, right?

[John Daly]

Exactly.

[Lacey Mosley]

And there's like a square shape and you're like.

[John Daly]

I mean. Yeah. And you never get your hands on what you want because you're in a rush and it's not good. I remember when I was like 5 years old, I, I was like, you know what? I'm going to, I'm going to try stealing or whatever. I was like with my mom, I think I was probably a little older, maybe eight.

[Lacey Mosley]

I love trying it out as an activity. You know what I'm going try.

[John Daly]

Maybe I'll try being a bad kid. And I stole some Brock's caramel creams, which I loved. And my mom wouldn't buy us candy. So I just took it out of one of those, you know, candy big like huge candy things and stuck it in my pocket. And then I got caught and my mom caught me and then she brought me to the manager and had the manager scold me as an 8 year old. And I cried and everything. So I learned my lesson. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, she gave you a life lesson?

[John Daly]

She gave me a life lesson.

[Lacey Mosley]

She snitched on, you know, she have to snitch. But I guess she was like, real world consequences, right?

[John Daly]

She wanted me to deal with like a different. A stranger that was like going to pretend to be mad at me. And it was, that was, that was harsher. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. That's scarier for sure.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I don't have any children, but if I did, I don't know if I definitely would reprimand them. But I don't know if I'm going to take them straight up to the man because.

[John Daly]

Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

But we have two different experiences, you know what I mean? So I'm probably going to get away. They're like, oh, this nice white lady is bringing him to for a son to have a lesson. I might bring him up there, they'd be like, get the night sticks out.

[John Daly]

And, you know, like.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right, so.

[John Daly]

Yeah, okay. All right.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's very wholesome that she taught you that lesson.

[John Daly]

I was using my white privilege. Yeah, definitely. She was. Yeah. In a good way.

[Lacey Mosley]

Keep it out of the clink.

[John Daly]

She was teaching me a lesson. Yeah. And then I gotta say, the most consistent scam that I've run is when I was in New York, coming up in comedy, I was, you know, doing stuff at ucb, doing stand up, and I was waiting tables. So I was just like, waiting tables.

[Lacey Mosley]

Same.

[John Daly]

And I worked at a place that was like, kind of a chain. I won't mention the name, but it was like, there were like five of them in Brooklyn and Manhattan, and this one was like, in the West Village and kind of like on 6 Ave.

[Lacey Mosley]

And we're getting close to the name of the change.

[John Daly]

Okay. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's a terrible place. I. But it was a wonderful place to work, and I loved the people there. And everybody was just. Yeah, everybody's partying and it was super fun. And so I'd go there and like, I. I think I worked there. Like, I had friends that worked at Michael's and Serendipity, and I'd be like, how much are you making a shift? And they'd be like, oh, I work three days a week and I make 550 a shift. Or like 7. $, 700 a shift if I work brunch at Serendipity or something like that. And I was like, oh, my God. And I was working and my rent was super cheap. My roommate was Adrian Grenier from Entourage, and that was literally my first roommate. And he was very nice. Nice enough to let me live with him. And I was. So it was like six months in. I was, like, counting my, you know, take home. I was like, 215 bucks on a Friday night.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, oh, on a Friday night.

[John Daly]

Really bad.

[Lacey Mosley]

No. In New York City.

[John Daly]

No. You can't live like that.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right.

[John Daly]

So I'm saying. So after people realized I was cool, they're like, here, come here. I'm going to teach you the scam that every single. Yeah, exactly.

[Lacey Mosley]

They knew you weren't an art.

[John Daly]

Yeah. And it was. And they were. Basically, the scam was this. It was. And you might have had this brought up because I think this is kind of common. But it was. It was a time when way more people paid with cash. This was like 2005. So there was a lot of cash being paid. People pay cards. And then you didn't do the scam. But if people paid cash, you would, you were like putting a, putting the order into the computer, into the aloha system. And then you would kind of like make a receipt and give them the receipt. And if they paid with cash, if they paid with card, you'd run their card and they'd give you a tip on the card.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right.

[John Daly]

They paid with cash. I would just double give them a fake ticket. You just go reprint ticket and it reprints it. So it's not their bill, it's just a receipt that you can kind of see like everything that's on your thing, but it's not a bill. And then give them the receipt. Most people just don't think about it. And they give you like 40 bucks. And then you keep that 40 bucks and they give you a tip on top of it. And so I started taking home like 4, 5 0, 500 a night. I was paying my rent. I was not like trying to stretch out a burrito over a day anymore and stuff like that. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Which that's tough if you're working those long shifts and it's busy. And I almost feel like this scam is giving me the inclination that this restaurant, probably their tip out system was a little shady. Boom.

[John Daly]

That's it. And everyone was in on it.

[Lacey Mosley]

So some servers realized like, oh, the tip out system is a little shady. Like, why am I paying? I worked at the restaurant once where we were paying, like the kitchen, the cooks.

[John Daly]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like we, we. I. Am I paying a light bill? Like, what's going on?

[John Daly]

That's how I felt.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

I was like, oh, this bartender's not making enough. He's making more than everybody, but I have to tip him out.

[Lacey Mosley]

So now you start to figure out the system.

[John Daly]

But here's the thing. Like, yeah, you can't do it too

[Lacey Mosley]

much though, because then it gets a little hot. Yeah.

[John Daly]

And no, you can't do it too much. You have to, you have to take your time. You have to do a couple an hour. And you can't get greedy. And people told you that, you know, it was like, don't get greedy with this because like we're in a weird bubble like situation. And there was this guy, the manager who like, I thought I was terrible at waiting tables. I was never, I couldn't be bothered. I was just like horrible at it. You know, I was too. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Unless I was personality hire.

[John Daly]

Yeah. I was thank you. I was a personality hire, was funny, and I partied with everybody. And you know what made me good with tables and made me also realize I had a pretty bad ADHD PhD was taking cocaine. When I went to tables, I would like, I. And it wasn't a lot, by the way. Like, I would be. I would be drunk and take. But, you know, this was. Poor people. We didn't have any. Any. But once in a while, and when it was there, man, I'd do it. And I was like, smooth as silk. I was so good. I was so organized, I wouldn't even have to think about it. But ordinarily I'd be like, oh, God, the fucking.

[Lacey Mosley]

In reality, you just needed Adderall.

[John Daly]

Who got the fries? Exactly. And then I took Adderall. And Adderall, like, chilled me out. And this way I was like, that's

[Lacey Mosley]

how you know you need it.

[John Daly]

Well, maybe cocain a great drug for me, but. Yeah, there was this manager there, street Adderall.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay, street pharmacist.

[John Daly]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

But there was a man there.

[John Daly]

There was a man there, the manager, and he was incredible. Like, he had to know about it. Like, it was crazy how much we were doing it. He had to know about it. And he liked me and was just like, hey, man. Like, you know, didn't ever say anything. And it was like, God, this is really going smoothly. It's almost like, is he. Is he knowing this is happening? And then that guy got caught for embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from this restaurant and thrown in jail. So that's why he was cool with it. And then there was another manager who's a hard ass, who was really nice and, you know, nice guy, but, like, way more hardcore. And he totally knew about this scam. And I was getting really dumb with it at this point, and he took me. I remember he. It made me feel like I was gonna get fired. He goes, hey, can you come down to the basement? I just wanna talk to you about. Yeah, to the office in the basement. I just need to talk to you about work. And I was like, okay, well, this is when I get fired. And he goes, he tried to reverse psychology me. He goes, you know, John, a lot of people have been stealing a lot of money from this restaurant. Really?

[Lacey Mosley]

That's great.

[John Daly]

And he goes, you haven't. I looked at your records and you haven't stolen anything, John. And I just wanna thank you. I just want to thank you for not stealing. And I was like, oh, okay, man. Like, I think I'm the, like, you have to be really organized to be a good scammer. That's the thing. You have to be like the kind of person who can like, do math or something. Like, I have never been. I've never been that.

[Lacey Mosley]

So otherwise you get caught much more easily.

[John Daly]

Exactly.

[Lacey Mosley]

You have to be able to do math. You also need to be able to not run your mouth, which clearly you weren't running your mouth.

[John Daly]

I wasn't running my mouth.

[Lacey Mosley]

The bubble real tight.

[John Daly]

I'm not a rat.

[Lacey Mosley]

I love that there was a manager, but it's not even about being a rat. Sometimes people brag about some shit and then all of a sudden you blew the spot up for everybody.

[John Daly]

Right? No.

[Lacey Mosley]

So you're a good little accomplice.

[John Daly]

Right. And that's why they wait. That's why they wait. Like, it was like four or six months before they were like, okay, come here, we'll teach you the scam. Like, they have to know that you're going to stick around.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

And you have to go out. And like, I loved everyone that worked there. So we were partying and stuff. And so it was like a trust okay. With this guy's cool. You know, we can, like, we can give him the scam. And it was pretty good. And then. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

But then the nice manager gets jailed.

[John Daly]

Nice manager gets jail.

[Lacey Mosley]

Was like, hey, man, like, looking the other way because he knows he's stealing way more than you.

[John Daly]

Yeah. He was like, all sunshine. A lovely guy. He was like, what's up, man? He was just pocketing cash.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

Like, from the safe. Doing it very, very, apparently sloppily from

[Lacey Mosley]

the safe is crazy. It's the end of the night. He's like, do, do, do. Some for y', all, some for me.

[John Daly]

Seriously ser bad. Like, what are you doing?

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, my goodness.

[John Daly]

But I love it. I love it.

[Lacey Mosley]

I mean, that's kind of the restaurant industry. Like, if you get in with some cool people. Like when I worked in the Hamptons, we were making money hand over fist in the Hamptons. That's.

[John Daly]

That's real.

[Lacey Mosley]

What?

[John Daly]

What? Hampton Bridge.

[Lacey Mosley]

East.

[John Daly]

East. Nice. Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

This place called Moby's. It's a pop up, so you already know that's kind of scamming. We're all out there for the summer. Moby does not own it.

[John Daly]

Damn.

[Lacey Mosley]

To Australians.

[John Daly]

Yeah. He would never call his restaurant Moby. He's too cool.

[Lacey Mosley]

But like, it was. Everybody was out there. Gwyneth Paltrow, Robert Downey Jr. You name it. Like, everybody was always out there. Not at this Time. I'm like, like a baby actor. I think I'm like, 21. So I'm like, you know, I'm just trying to get some money, like, so I can get to LA and, like, start working professionally.

[John Daly]

Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

Making money hand over fist. And there were definitely some cocaine salesmen out there. I was like, y', all, we. We making like 800, 900, sometimes 2,000 a night. And y'. All. Y' all also selling cocaine on the side. They're like, yeah.

[John Daly]

Oh, my God.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, we are. I was like, you know what? Go off Queens and kings.

[John Daly]

Yeah, there was a. There was a guy. I waited table. His name was Ocean. And he dealt cocaine. Yeah, he dealt cocaine and, like, in a really sloppy way, too. But he never got sort of, like,

[Lacey Mosley]

being like, a side of, like. Yeah. So, okay, so you're going to get the steak free. Yes. And would you like a side of cocaine with that? How do you tell people that you. That you. That you a cocaine salesman?

[John Daly]

Like, I'll take that to go. That's how you do it. You. Yeah, with a wink.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, anything else you can get you. How did.

[John Daly]

How did Gwyneth tip? You have to tell. How did Gwyneth tip?

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, gosh. If I remember, like, the only people that you wouldn't remember is if they tipped poorly. So she definitely didn't tip poorly, right?

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So you know what I mean?

[John Daly]

We tip poorly. Anyone? Anyone stand out?

[Lacey Mosley]

I done already had my issues with that lady. So y' all already know if you listen to this podcast, y' all already know.

[John Daly]

Really? Oh, man.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, we got some tip lows out there, but. Okay, okay. All right. Wow.

[John Daly]

Oh, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay, don't. No, no, no. Everybody already knows. Everybody who listens to this podcast will already know exactly who I'm talking about. Okay. No, but I love this.

[John Daly]

Write it on a piece of paper and get it.

[Lacey Mosley]

So did you, like. Did you ever get caught there, or did you end up just leaving there and just, like, you know, getting into your professional pursuits or what? I. I should put up on the screen for you.

[John Daly]

I did a thing where. Oh, really?

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, yeah.

[John Daly]

Probably one of the richest people in America.

[Lacey Mosley]

Just, we'll take money back if somebody gave too much.

[John Daly]

Yeah. Oh, wow.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

Oh, bad person. Bad person. Okay, but, yeah, you person. Yeah, very attractive, but you. Anyway, but.

[Lacey Mosley]

So how did you end up getting out of this restaurant game? Was it like.

[John Daly]

Or, like, I got, like. There was just a restructuring or something like that. I knew I was gonna, like, I was at the bottom of the. Of the, like, they liked me and I was fun and everything, but I was definitely like a personality hire like you said. And so I was kind of like, I'm out of here. Like, when am I gonna get fired? And like the biz, the business would go up and down and it was just like a bad place. And so it really started, it really slowed down. We got a new manager in and he stopped giving me shifts. And I was like, I didn't realize, like, that was like an aggro. I was like, hey, man, can I just get some more shifts? And he was like, oh, yeah, of course. He never would. I was like, yeah. Oh, you're just passive aggressively firing me. So then I. I got another job where I could not scam that was way harder and way more like solo, where I. But it was the only thing I could get where I. I had to like, show up at the 3:30am and bake muffins. It was horrible. They were known for their muffins. And so they taught me how to like, mix the muffins, put the blueberries in their blueberry muffins, bake the muffins.

[Lacey Mosley]

And then you were literally the muffin man.

[John Daly]

I was the muffin man. Thank you. Yeah. Do you know the Muffin Man? His name is John Daly.

[Lacey Mosley]

His name is John Daly. I know him.

[John Daly]

Yes. I was the freaking muffin man. Damn. Good, good, good point. I was the muffin man.

[Lacey Mosley]

And you gave me more respect for the muffin man because I thought he was just popular and chilling. No, he up at 3am making muffins.

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah. No, it's horrible. And then I remember trying to get a. Remember cafeteria?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes, I remember cafeteria.

[John Daly]

I, like, tried to get a job there. And I look, looking at all these guys they hired, it was like they were models. They were so tall and hot. And I was like, I'm pretty handsome, right? Nope. You know, I'm not bad.

[Lacey Mosley]

But it was like, you're on the televisions.

[John Daly]

Yeah, right.

[Lacey Mosley]

You're in the things.

[John Daly]

Yeah, I'm a famous character actor. Come on. I'm, you know, I'm. I'm hot. I'm hot as hell.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. Yes, John.

[John Daly]

Yeah. Yeah, Number one, go off. But I didn't have that, you know, aqua line features or whatever. I wasn't like an alien. So I didn't get that job. That was the job that, like the, the hot people from my waiting tables job, they all got fired too. And they all went to cafeteria and they were like, oh, we'll get you a job here. And the manager was like, yeah, you're just. We don't hire on personality. It's all looks. And I was like, okay, that's cool.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's so up. But there are so many places. There's certain places I've gone to where I wanted to be a bottle girl. And it was like, oh, skin isn't light enough and my booty isn't big enough. Like, I'm not getting this job or I'm not real thin. Like, they have aesthetics at certain places where it's just like, okay, I don't fit into this. Like, that was it.

[John Daly]

Yeah. I was, like, looking at the people. Like, why do I even. Why am I even trying? I should work at a Greek diner or something like that, if I even can. And. And then I did the thing where I got a commercial and I made. I think it was like, 80 grand. I, like, I, like, I was like, Damn, I got 80 grand, period. Hell, yeah. And I was like, let's go clock the T. Clocking T all day long, sweetheart. And I am eating, you know?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, you know it.

[John Daly]

I'm clocking, I'm eating, and I'm. I'm working and I'm living and we are. And God damn it. And, you know, I got a Wendy's commercial. It was, like, wonderful. I got all this money, all these residuals, and then I realized, oh, no, it's gone. And, like, so I was like, okay, I have to. And I was teaching improv, and I was like, I gotta, like, double my improv stuff. And I really gotta. You know, like, there was a. There was like, two years where I was just like, I could die. Like, I. I can't. Like, I can either pay my rent. And I was like, should I just pay all my rent in the year and. Or whatever. And then things, like, picked up. I moved to la. I started to get, like, more writing jobs and stuff. Moved to LA and started doing comedy stuff. But, man, there, that just, like, edgy year where I was like, technically, I should be waiting tables, but I so badly do not want to do that anymore.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm glad that you got out, but you also hustled, and you hustled up and you made money. And I'm glad you asked questions because you got friends who were making, you know, X, Y, and Z on the weekends. And. And then you were like, wait a minute, I'm not making that much. And I know how many covers we people we got coming in. So honestly, I think that restaurant was scamming you. You got your get back and we'll never know.

[John Daly]

I think life is a scam and scamming in general is just kind of cutting it. Even with life, the paying to be

[Lacey Mosley]

born and dying thing not bother me because it's like neither of those I had a choice in scams.

[John Daly]

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[Lacey Mosley]

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[John Daly]

another scam. I've never done this one.

[Lacey Mosley]

But, but he's never done this one, y'.

[John Daly]

All. I haven't. But I have one friend that is a pure. He's like an anarchist. He's the only person I know that I'm like, oh, wow, you're like a real deal. Anarchy. Okay. You know, and he's, he's an artist and a painter and a musician and stuff. And he, he does this thing where he's like, oh, I, I, I shop at whole. Because he's, he's, you know, broke, but he's like, I only shop at Whole Foods. And I was like, really? So why? And he goes, oh, here's what I do. I go in, I wear a hat, I pull it down. I put on a podcast and I really listen to the podcast. And, you know, I get into it. So I'm in the zone of kind of listening. And I get my groceries. You know, he'll get like normal groceries and then I'll get like, oh, the $48 balsamic or something like that. And then like, you know, some really nice this and some really nice that that. He'll go to the self checkout aisle. In Whole Foods and Whole Foods, the store philosophy is basically, we would rather like if you're in Vons or Ralph's or something like that, they'll. And you're in your stealing. They will.

[Lacey Mosley]

They're gonna tackle you.

[John Daly]

They're gonna tackle it. But in, in Whole Foods, they don't want to bother the rich people that are freaking. Their, their philosophy is more like, yeah, we kind of dial it into everything, you know.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right. Cause how would it look if we were tackling a stopper at Whole Foods?

[John Daly]

Thank you.

[Lacey Mosley]

That would be. I would be scandalized.

[John Daly]

Ye, yeah, exactly.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, oh, my God.

[John Daly]

Be like, oh, there was.

[Lacey Mosley]

They're Letting the pores in here now. And they're stealing.

[John Daly]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, man.

[John Daly]

Oh, good. Good Lord. Yeah. And so he. He does this thing where he, like, you know, legitimately buys stuff and then, like, doesn't scan stuff or whatever. Like, and then he kind of skips one and, like, who's going to notice? And he's like, I basically, like, I'll buy, like, $200 worth of groceries for, like, you know, $75 and stuff like that. So I don't know. Maybe don't put that. That might be.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, trust me. People and talking about the robbing of the stores.

[John Daly]

Right, Right. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. I'm sure you got it covered. You got it covered.

[Lacey Mosley]

But it is fascinating to me because, like, instead of, like, going after them with night sticks or having the surveillance state that other stores have, they're like, oh, it would be so embarrassing if we. If we. If we accosted this man for taking stuff.

[John Daly]

Oh, my God.

[Lacey Mosley]

What would our customer. What about other customers think little Johnny Jr.

[John Daly]

Started crying when they tackled this awful man.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's their version of, like, protest. They're like, oh, no, it' it to the Whole Foods. No one is safe.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Seriously?

[John Daly]

Yeah. It's your duty to steal from Whole Foods, ladies and gentlemen. Is your, at this point, civic duty, I believe? Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

I mean, look, people are out here. But I think, like, if you're taking groceries and things that you need to eat to survive, like, I have, like, way more empathy for that because it's like, those things should be affordable.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Point blank, period. No one should have to think about that. Like, I miss when people used to steal TVs, you know, car radios, like, things that were, like, luxury items.

[John Daly]

Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

Versus, like, now people are like, oh, I got to steal these eggs.

[John Daly]

Right. Even steal luxury items. Steal everything because. Because, like, Sony's not going to get hurt. Best Buy is not going to get hurt if you're. Unless you are. And that was the thing about working for the Muffin Man.

[Lacey Mosley]

Thing is, you are on the Muffin Man. The Muffin man is telling y' all to get on jury Lane and get your shiesty out and run it up.

[John Daly]

Like the owner of the muffin shop, like, I loved. I was like, as a couple, you know, this, like, super nice lady, and she. She'd come to work with me, and she'd be like, hello, John. You know, like, really? I'm not gonna steal from this woman. But a big corporation, they're not gonna feel it. In fact, they dial it into all their stuff. So, yeah, steal as much as you can. I don't recommend going to Best Buy, and, like, I don't know how you would do that.

[Lacey Mosley]

No, I mean, I feel like Best Buy employees might get active. They might be like the secret waffle House employees of the tech stores.

[John Daly]

Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

If you put somebody in a blue polo, I just feel like they just want to fight.

[John Daly]

They're looking.

[Lacey Mosley]

Riding all day.

[John Daly]

Yeah. They're gonna haunt your life. They're gonna show up at your house.

[Lacey Mosley]

They may not want to point electronics, but they are so pissed about being in that blue polo and then fluorescent lights all day. They will beat your ass.

[John Daly]

Nobody's happy. Nobody in a fucking uniform is ever. No, no. Like, yeah, no.

[Lacey Mosley]

It depends on the uniform. But I just feel like that one in particular, like, that blue polo and that lighting, they're just. They're active. They ready to get active.

[John Daly]

I'm only happy in a Hooters uniform just because I love nude stockings. Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I know I could never work at a restaurant where it has to be hot every day. And shout out to y' all who do that because, like, it's extra work on point.

[John Daly]

It would be rough.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, I can't put my ha. I gotta put on a lash every day before I go work for the man.

[John Daly]

Oh, that'd be rough. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So shout out to y' all beautifuls who get beautiful for work every day.

[John Daly]

Yeah. Good for you. Go. Go for it. Or wear the uniform and look like shit, you know? Thank you for working at Hooters. We need to keep this thing going.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's why he was getting less shifts.

[John Daly]

Thank you. That was me. Yeah. I was like. My jaw was falling off. I was so high. Jesus Christ.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, my God. I love this. So we're gonna get into my favorite segment here. Historic Hoodwinks. This is where I will regale John with the fam con caper group of criminals. We'll see if they're worthy of our praise. Maybe they aren't. We'll see along the way. So today we're going to be talking about key members of Norway's ski jumping team that were disqualified from the Winter Olympics because they were caught on camera illegally inflating the crotches on their uniforms.

[John Daly]

What?

[Lacey Mosley]

So this is the crotch inflation gate.

[John Daly]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

What now?

[John Daly]

Ski jumpers?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[John Daly]

Oh, so it must have some aerodynamics thing.

[Lacey Mosley]

It has to, because I don't think they were trying to be like, I'm starting my only fans after the Olympics or something.

[John Daly]

I want everyone to know that I'm hard when I do this because it's so exciting. This is.

[Lacey Mosley]

Y' all follow me on Instagram.

[John Daly]

Yeah, follow me on Instagram.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm Olympic bulge.

[John Daly]

Yeah, it's. It's pretty evident.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. So.

[John Daly]

Wow, they are. Yeah, they're bulgy. They're bulging, so.

[Lacey Mosley]

At the Nordic World Ski Championships in Norway last March, a hidden camera caught head coach Magnus Brevic and suit technician Adrian Litvin inserting illegal stitching into the crotches of the suits of two star jumpers after the suits had already passed inspection. So right before they competed in the men's large hill event, they were sewing extra material into the crotch to stiffen and add surface area that would help during takeoff.

[John Daly]

Oh, boy. Inflate gate part two.

[Lacey Mosley]

Inflate part two. But I question. First question I have is, how do you figure this out? Like, how are you? Like, you know, they're getting more air if we crotch them. Right, Right. Crotch em up.

[John Daly]

Yeah. If it sticks out. If it sticks out. It must just be some. Yeah. How do. Who knows? Who knows? They have to go. It's such a game of inches that sport. So literally, they're looking like they have some more inches. They're packing some more inches up in there. Is that a joke? Is that funny? Okay, good.

[Lacey Mosley]

And I think, I guess surface area. So if they're catching wind, there's more wind to catch. Cause they're wider.

[John Daly]

Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm almost thinking of, like, those people jump out of the trees in, like, those, like, wind.

[John Daly]

Squirrel suits. Squirrel suits? Yeah. Oh, man.

[Lacey Mosley]

Maybe they're trying to squirrel them up a little bit.

[John Daly]

Yeah, they might be trying to squirrel it up. It might just be like they. They stick these guys in a wind tunnel with a bunch of confetti in it, and they see it go, and it's like, you know, it kind of like, curves around their body in the

[Lacey Mosley]

right way, and they're smart.

[John Daly]

They're doing that.

[Lacey Mosley]

There's got to be some science to it.

[John Daly]

But I hope there was, like, a bike pump involved. Like, okay, let us go with the bike pump. We have discovered the crutch is the area we need to expand.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm like, who's watching this on video, watching these men get their crotches sewn? Like, you know, what do we have here?

[John Daly]

You know, who watches ski jumping on the Olympics? Nobody. Nobody. Nobody cares about ski jump.

[Lacey Mosley]

No, I mean, the people who care about skiing do. And I did run into some of them because I was gonna. I'm gonna go skiing eventually, and I was thinking about going to Apres ski, because my friends are going in France after this wedding. I'm going to. But honestly, just feels like too many activities.

[John Daly]

Are you a skier or are you just gonna.

[Lacey Mosley]

No, no, I was just gonna. Sk. Montclair. Taking photos. Hell, yeah.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Having a hot, hot little tie in there.

[John Daly]

Get some mold wine.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. Literally, that's it. And take some pictures looking like I was going to ski. Maybe even next to some skis.

[John Daly]

Yeah, get some skis. Just get. Borrow some skis. Get out there and be like, I did it.

[Lacey Mosley]

I did it. O yeah. Throw a little snow on me. Throw a little snow on me.

[John Daly]

Yeah. It's all for the. It's all for the gram.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. That's. That's it. But I was talking to two skiers in the airport and I made the mistake of. They were like, well, you know, the Olympics, like, they're going to be out there at the time that you're going to be out there. And I was like, oh, that's cute. Maybe I'll grab some little tickets or whatever. We could go get some ph. Oh, that was in Flicks off. I was like, I'm sure those tickets are cheap. Nobody cares about the Winter Olympics when I tell you these ladies were like, why would you say that? I was like, oh, wow. So they have some very niche, huge fans who are definitely watching these men jump with their air crotches.

[John Daly]

Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

And they care.

[John Daly]

I get. Yeah. I don't care about the Winter Olympics. What's good about. Oh, yeah. Curling. That was big. That's like a sport that somebody invented their backyard and they're trying to pull it off.

[Lacey Mosley]

It feels like somebody who couldn't afford a Zamboni. And they were like, what if we all just get out here with scoops?

[John Daly]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And then there's a broom element to it.

[Lacey Mosley]

That. The broom one is what I'm thinking of. They were like, we'll just do it ourselves. And now let's make it a sport.

[John Daly]

Yeah. Get out of my face with that rock shit. Give me a break. Play bocce, you dummies. I mean, snow bocce, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

Nothing's ever going to be dumber than Ray Gun with the breakdancing.

[John Daly]

Ray Gun is an icon. The kangaroo move where she kangarooed around. I'll never forget it. Australia. Turns out it's a much different place

[Lacey Mosley]

than we thought then.

[John Daly]

We thought, we're that success.

[Lacey Mosley]

We have a video that was anonymously posted to YouTube. Not that. Trying to let the world know. How many views does this pump in half it has 114. Oh. Oh. Oh, wow.

[John Daly]

104K.

[Lacey Mosley]

It has 104K views. I was about to say 114, Jess. Cause that's all I thought that would be there. Okay, let's see the pumping. Okay, so whoever's taking this video is shooting, like, through a chair or like, oh, wow.

[John Daly]

Oh, you can see the pump. Okay, so there's a sewing machine. Machine. This is a real. They got a lot of footage of this also.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, bruh, y' all just got this suit checked for its integrity, and then you want to sew, but you're not even gonna do a handheld stitch. You're not gonna give me, like, you got a whole sewing machine out here. Like, you turned yourself into, like, a little sweatshop in the back.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

How did y' all think y' all weren't gonna get caught doing this? The door is cracked open a little bit, and we can literally see this sewing machine.

[John Daly]

I think if you can. If you can just expand your crotch and get that money. Many more points. It's not a real sport.

[Lacey Mosley]

Look at this guy in the green. He looks stressed out. Like, all right, can y' all sew fast or.

[John Daly]

So fast?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

He's kind of like, we're doing something bad.

[Lacey Mosley]

Let's go, let's go, let's go. But I'm sorry. You heard the. The. I feel like you need more Ocean's Eleven type sewing stuff. Like, how y' all coming in here with these big ass sewing machines.

[John Daly]

Yeah. Why is it in the bright light? Like, why are they doing this?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. This needs to be under candlelight. I don't know. Somebody should have been guarding all the doors.

[John Daly]

I'm not seeing pumping, too. I'm pissed. There's no pump.

[Lacey Mosley]

Expanding the suit right now.

[John Daly]

They're expanding it so they can.

[Lacey Mosley]

I want to see a pump, though. I want to see somebody with an air tire pump. Or if we're really moving quick, I want to see an electric mattress inflator pump.

[John Daly]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

When they just put in that little tube and, like, we ain't got much time, y'.

[John Daly]

All. I love that.

[Lacey Mosley]

Crank the music. Yeah.

[John Daly]

Let's go.

[Lacey Mosley]

Seems they got caught.

[John Daly]

Ha. Seems they got caught.

[Lacey Mosley]

It does seem that way.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

They were very bold, though. It's. They must. This was not their first time. Because if you're bringing hold. Multiple sewing machines, and you got, like, an area for it, like, you've been doing this for a while.

[John Daly]

Yeah. Yeah. And I. I feel like that's just so innocent. Like, it's like these People are jacking steroids. They're cycling all. You know, they're these, they're like, how

[Lacey Mosley]

many Tour de Frances did Lance Armstrong steal from other people?

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah. I like how he's kind of making his rounds trying to come back now and be an influencer. It's like you're known for lying to everyone in the world.

[Lacey Mosley]

He's also known for Livestrong bracelets.

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

And for the ball.

[John Daly]

He's got one ball and he's got one ball. He's a uni ball. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

You know, and also, I mean, he did kind of give us an iconic moment because obviously he would not have won all of those Tour de France's back to back to back. And everybody loves somebody who's just like the Michael Jordan of their sport. So we all loved it.

[John Daly]

Yeah. And who's complaining about it? These French people. Like, he is a cheating. It's like, you are too, man.

[Lacey Mosley]

Man. And now, and now I get the, the, the metal. I get it. Years later. No one cares that I'm third. Yeah, no, we don't care that you're third. We don't care that you first now, cuz you moved up. We don't care.

[John Daly]

Nobody cares about the Tour de France, man. It sucks.

[Lacey Mosley]

We already bought the bracelets, bro.

[John Daly]

Yeah. We only care if someone's winning it.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

By the way, this guy Alex Honald needs to stop the fucking madness. He climbed a skyscraper the other day. I don't think he cheated. I'm not saying he's scammed, I'm just saying, dude, David Blaine does it. But he's not putting his life in danger and potentially like making their, you know, orphaning his kids or whatever. This guy is psycho.

[Lacey Mosley]

But doesn't he have the like little amygdala where he doesn't feel like fear? They did a brain scan. You're talking about that.

[John Daly]

Like it's good. It's not good to have the little amygdala.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's just a natural like side effect of his brain is that he getting on the skyscraper like doo, doo, doo.

[John Daly]

Yeah. He has no fear. He has no fear. He has no fear. Lo, his fear lobe is tiny.

[Lacey Mosley]

I think he's like trying to juice it up cuz he wants some. He's a junkie now. He's just trying to get that high. We need to put him in a facility.

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah. He needs to be, you know, put down.

[Lacey Mosley]

We like, we start kill him. Damn, John.

[John Daly]

Yeah, no, before he kills again. He seems like a killer. Like if there was somebody that is. He has shark eyes.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's his side. That's a side hustle murder.

[John Daly]

His side hustle is just. He can kill somebody and just, like, really scientifically watch them bleed out and just.

[Lacey Mosley]

La, la, la, mop. I gotta get this over with because I gotta climb the Empire tomorrow.

[John Daly]

Fascinating. The behavior of a dying man. Okay, now let me go climb. I'm gonna climb El Capitan. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Literally, I. Yeah. The whole girlfriend of it all, I was like, baby, if you don't leave this. This is too stressful. Okay.

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my sport's something where it's kind of like Russian roulette, Right?

[Lacey Mosley]

It's a sport nobody asks for.

[John Daly]

Yeah, nobody asks for. Nobody wants. And winning it is lame and, like, inconsequential. Yeah, exactly. It's like.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's just like, you climb the thing. I went on a rabbit hole on TikTok the other day. They had a man who was actually interned in a cave. Unfortunately, he passed away because he went cave diving. He was, like, 100ft in and slipped into a crevice that he couldn't be lifted out of. And then they tried to take him out, but then he went further into it, and so he was just gone. And it was so sad. But it was also like, sir, you had a. A wife who's pregnant and a child, and you decided to go climbing them people's dirt.

[John Daly]

Yeah, like, that's like. That's like the Everest people. You're climbing Everest. This thing's littered with dead bodies.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, green boots is a mile marker.

[John Daly]

Green Bo is a mile marker.

[Lacey Mosley]

And they have other ones. There's, like, the Sleeping Beauty. Like, that's a woman. Like, they have other ones. And I'm like, I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm not doing nothing. Where the mile markers are, people just, like. Who are no longer here.

[John Daly]

You deserve to die. Sorry, pal.

[Lacey Mosley]

If y' all want to.

[John Daly]

Same with the. It's like the subway submarine idiots.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, yeah. We did a whole episode on Ocean Gate and go back to Ocean Gate, y', all, if you haven't heard it, because it's wild.

[John Daly]

They died. I did a breakdancing routine. I was so happy.

[Lacey Mosley]

My God, John, why you want everybody to die?

[John Daly]

It was. No, no, no.

[Lacey Mosley]

I don'.

[John Daly]

Want them to die.

[Lacey Mosley]

I know, I know. You just want to stop scaring everybody, keep it safe with their antics.

[John Daly]

I'm like, is this a sport or, like, a perversion?

[Lacey Mosley]

No, it's something they're just doing. Nobody asked for that.

[John Daly]

Yeah, nobody asked.

[Lacey Mosley]

We're not watching it live. We hear about it after.

[John Daly]

It's a fetish. You're weird. And hopefully you don't die.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. Because I want you to be alive for your family. Yeah. Martha listens to her favorite band all the time.

[John Daly]

In the car gym, even sleeping.

[Lacey Mosley]

So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much she got her seat close enough to actually see and hear them. Saw dog.

[John Daly]

You were made to scream from the front row.

[Lacey Mosley]

We were made to quietly save you more Expedia made to travel. Savings vary and subject to availability. Flight inclusive packages are atoll protected.

[John Daly]

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[Lacey Mosley]

So the coach and wardrobe specialists were boosting the bulges. The Olympic champion jumpers, Marius Lindovic and his teammate Joanne. Andre for Fang Johan. Excuse me, because right. Nordic Johan. Andre for Fung. So Marius won gold in ski jumping at the 2022 Beijing Olympics. And we have a video of his ski jump right here.

[John Daly]

Oh damn, he's got a boner. Yep, he's pumping. He's pumping. He's, he's, he's, he's.

[Lacey Mosley]

Did they only notice because of the video, or was somebody looking directly at their crotches? Like, hey, it's a little too much crush there. Wow.

[John Daly]

Absolutely nailed it. He's absolutely nailed it in it. He's absolutely nailed it. How do you.

[Lacey Mosley]

One of the most dangerous sports. Yeah, look at that.

[John Daly]

Wow. I mean, it's pretty.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's beautiful to watch.

[John Daly]

Feel good.

[Lacey Mosley]

I can't stand on skis, let alone launch my full inflated crotched body into the air.

[John Daly]

That's a sport that just takes more than it gives. Like, I'm watching it. I'm going, that's, that's cool. But everyone looks the same. It must feel so cool to be there. But as a spectator sport, I'm like,

[Lacey Mosley]

okay, you jumped off the thing.

[John Daly]

Let me watch the Dodgers or something. Yeah, exactly.

[Lacey Mosley]

So the team's assistant head coach also confessed to participating in the plot, even though he wasn't in the video. Marius and Johan claim they were unaware of the Pubic plus up to alter their suits. They got three months suspensions in August of 2025. So they said they didn't know that they were putting more, more, more crotch in the crotch. Do I believe this? No.

[John Daly]

I swear my dick was hard. It was just my dick being hard. I swear we didn't pump it. Come on.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. No, y' all pump. Pumped it louder. Y' all knew. Y' all knew what was going on because, like, I'm. I'm sorry. You're gonna notice if you're putting on a suit and you just got one inspected and now you got a freshly sewn one. Like, freshly sewn.

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Something's gonna give it away. There's gonna be some hang strings with some. Something.

[John Daly]

Yeah. And they're like, this sport is so unpopular, no one's going to care.

[Lacey Mosley]

So the officials were inserting illegal non elastic stitching into the suits, making them larger, smoother, and more aerodynamic. It seems like we all just need to make better suits because why can't everybody just have this better suit? I don't know. Nike. So investigators could only confirm the tampering by tearing apart the suits. Many teams tried to slightly stretch or pad suits in order to give them a little bit more surface area. This kind of cheating is more or less universally acknowledged as an unsavory but ever present aspect of the competition, and it does result in some disqualifications. What set this scandal apart is that it was caught on camera and it was the head coach doing it. So they said everybody been goose in the suit, but they got caught in 4k. So now we have to act like it's a big deal.

[John Daly]

Yeah. By the way, Johnny Weir was seen at the ski jump area. Oh boy. Okay, is that funny or bad?

[Lacey Mosley]

Why are you auditing your jokes with John?

[John Daly]

That was not good. Look, listen, laughing. I'm trying my best at the Winter Olympics. Information. What I know about the winter. Oh, by the way, this is not a sport that takes. It doesn't take talent to stiffen your body and fly. Give me a triple axel, baby.

[Lacey Mosley]

I know there used to be a black girl who do like triple daxels and backflips on. And then they made the move illegal because they were like, it's too dangerous to do.

[John Daly]

Yeah, no, you're too good at this.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right. They were like, it's illegal now because everybody else is going to die trying to.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

And I'm like, no. Well then I keep doing it and shitting on y'.

[John Daly]

All.

[Lacey Mosley]

So I get what they're saying. They're like, look, everybody does this, but you got caught. So now we have to pretend it's a big deal. And you're right, John. Nobody gives a fuck about the sport enough to be like, they're goose in the suits. They go sitting them.

[John Daly]

I also think, by the way, nobody gives a fucking yes about this sport. But it's too iconic of a scam. It's a crotch bigginning. So if it was different, if it was like the shoulders need to be smoother, nobody would care about that. But it's the fact that it's like men with a crotch area getting bigger, that was their mistake.

[Lacey Mosley]

The men are like, no, I have so much crotch. Don't say I have little crotch. Yeah, men don't like that.

[John Daly]

Exactly. And what are these guys not hugging? Because it's like a joke. It's like some people like get off for murder because their murder is like boring and not iconic.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right.

[John Daly]

And then somebody who like. Yeah. And then somebody, I don't know, like who? I don't know I'm talking about. But you know what I'm saying?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's just not. It doesn't like free solo.

[John Daly]

It's not like.

[Lacey Mosley]

Good.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Good, good. Yeah. It really isn't. It also just like you were saying, it's kind of insipid. So one of the ski jumping officials who inspected the fluffed up suit said the stretch of the material was quite elastic and when we felt the suit, it was not elastic at all. They had opened up the five different layers of material. Are you awake? Is everyone awake out there? This is like one of those, like, you know, the docs come out and the cops, like. So we waited outside his house for four days, and then we went to his trash, and bingo, we found a post it note that opened the case wide open. And we're all like, this is the most boring I ever heard in my life.

[John Daly]

And it's the best day of this loser's life. Oh, I caught them. Oh, wow. I got to do my job once in my fucking it got dumb life

[Lacey Mosley]

around for three years.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Until I cracked it.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, okay, okay. Sit down, buddy.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So they're, you know, ripping open the material. They're finding a different kind of material and that they had sewn back in the material or whatever. They absolutely knew this shit was going on. Because if you're inspecting a suit, why wouldn't you be doing that shit right before the actual competition? That's like people doing drug tests, like, two weeks out before the actual competition and being like, y' all good. Y' all passed. We did it a month ago. Y' all passed. It's like, no. I could be juicing right now. I could get back on the drugs.

[John Daly]

Yeah. These guys are popping ricolas like nobody's business. These guys breath is so fresh, it makes them twice as fast.

[Lacey Mosley]

It does ricola as they fly through the air.

[John Daly]

This is a step down from blowing an alpine horn. I want to hear that horn. This again. Gives more than it takes. Or takes more than it gives this dumb sport.

[Lacey Mosley]

Ski jumping crotch rules. I know you want to hear more, John, please. The objective in ski jumping is done to do one big jump and fly through the air further than the competition. Not it's in the name, but if you guys didn't know, I know. So you're. You're. You achieve this by going fast with as little drag as possible. And once you're in the air, you hold perfectly still and try to catch the wind with your boy body and sale. And this also includes your penis and balls. So I guess your penis and balls gotta be still while you flyin' still. Yeah. Still be flapping around.

[John Daly]

You can't be flying with an angry dick.

[Lacey Mosley]

No, you need.

[John Daly]

You should tuck it.

[Lacey Mosley]

You need, like, a sports bra for your dick. They should tuck. That would give them more surface area, too. The drag queens need to get involved because if they tucked, we stick our

[John Daly]

dicks in our butt and it smooths it all out.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's even more aerodynamic.

[John Daly]

Yeah. You win.

[Lacey Mosley]

But I'm serious. Like RuPaul get with the ski jumpers

[John Daly]

and these guys do shit like that. It's crazy.

[Lacey Mosley]

So a larger suit can extend a jumper's flight by several meters. Teams of experts test the skis and clothing in wind tunnels to maximize the aerodynamics. Kind of like what you were saying earlier, John, with like maybe they were in a wind tunnel. Right. Long before the jumpers tried to achieve the perfect takeoff fly Informant landed. One study published in October in a scientific journal showed that adding about half an inch of fabric to the circumference of a suit could increase the jump by nine feet.

[John Daly]

Damn.

[Lacey Mosley]

So if y' all just had bigger penises, you would have been jumping bigger already. But they had to put in lots of material for y'. All.

[John Daly]

This is shame.

[Lacey Mosley]

So the study's co author, Soren Mouyere and the area stretched by the V position of says the area stretched by the V position of the leg in the crotch area is the most noticeable and offers a great advantage. The crotch. He's first time I've ever heard that crotch offers a great advantage. Okay. It's been disadvantaging women and men all over the world for years.

[John Daly]

That's true.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he's the head of the ski jump and research at the Institute for Applied Training Science in Leipzig, Germany. Which is a job you can have if you want.

[John Daly]

That's a side job. It's not a job.

[Lacey Mosley]

This is his profession.

[John Daly]

He waits tables at my old place. This guy's got. This is his not. Not his money job.

[Lacey Mosley]

You don't even know what Soren up to. He could be looking at crotches with magnifying glasses all just getting the stitches and you know he's throwing crotches in a simulator.

[John Daly]

This. He probably gets paid better than any of us. This is who gets free health care. These losers.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, for sure he's getting free health care. For sure.

[John Daly]

Country's perfect. It's locked down.

[Lacey Mosley]

You imagine a country so great that your whole job could just be crotching.

[John Daly]

Yeah, just crotch paying attention to the fabric on the front of these non athletes.

[Lacey Mosley]

Not even the whole suit.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

You a crotch specialist?

[John Daly]

Just a crotch man.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like America, we've really robbed ourselves of opportunities.

[John Daly]

He's a billionaire, this guy. He's just hoarding money.

[Lacey Mosley]

So this incident brought national shame to Norway.

[John Daly]

Yeah, it did.

[Lacey Mosley]

And Norway invented ski jumping. And they usually dominate the international competition. They fired their men's league tea like leadership as a punishment for the scandal. One German ski jumping champion said, this is doping just with different Niches, Needles.

[John Daly]

Oh, okay. He kind of Sewing needles. Sewing needles. It is stopping with different needles. That's a great.

[Lacey Mosley]

With that one. He ate with that one.

[John Daly]

Kicks. That guy worked on that he workshop.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, yeah. He was like, oh, they interviewed me somehow.

[John Daly]

How about this?

[Lacey Mosley]

This is a crutchless. No, no, no, no.

[John Daly]

No. Different details.

[Lacey Mosley]

This. They have no balls. No, no, no, no. How do I make. This is important.

[John Daly]

It is stupid sport we have. It is doping, but with dicks instead of steroids.

[Lacey Mosley]

You're close.

[John Daly]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

We got there. We got there with needle. And y' all really ate with that.

[John Daly]

No, he kicked ass. He. He nailed that. You know, I'll give him credit for that.

[Lacey Mosley]

Now I care. Now I care suddenly about this, and I'm enraged.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

And I'm gonna call Norway.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

And I'm sure they want to hear from us because they've been hearing about that Nobel Peace.

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Now we got to hit him with this.

[John Daly]

I'm going to be like, you have beautiful fjords. Don't get me wrong. But these are. This is wrong.

[Lacey Mosley]

And we're angry.

[John Daly]

And there's that one movie that takes place in Norway. It's very disturbing. Or the. The. The one where. That's about the murder.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's great. You were murdered today, John.

[John Daly]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's kill Alex.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, my God.

[John Daly]

Let's kill that dude. Nah. I love you.

[Lacey Mosley]

And who was this anonymous whistleblower? Blower. Blower. Could go a lot of different ways here. Who blew these men's crotches? We still don't know. We still don't know. They're anonymous. They did it for the love of the game.

[John Daly]

His name was Adolf Hitler Jr. Crazy.

[Lacey Mosley]

I feel like it's gotta be the guy who. The German ski jumping champion who was like, this is doping just with a different needle. It's giving you Sodom.

[John Daly]

That guy ate. That guy ate with that. He's like, excuse me.

[Lacey Mosley]

And then he put it up anonymously. Because he probably ain't want to be no snitch.

[John Daly]

No.

[Lacey Mosley]

Because that probably doesn't look good in their forums for anybody to be snitching.

[John Daly]

Yeah. He'll still be able to participate in the sport, but he can't hang out.

[Lacey Mosley]

Because then who's going to want to do you at Olympic Village if they think you're a snitch?

[John Daly]

No. And Olympics, apparently, we're learning, is all about fucking each other.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

Like, that's what it's about.

[Lacey Mosley]

So it's like, he wasn't going to get no Play. If he had come out like Atlantic. Yeah. I feel like he did it because that's why he got the like, the real phrase.

[John Daly]

He'd be slumming it with the curlers.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

And he'd be like, all right, these curlers aren't too good. But you know these people won't talk to me.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right.

[John Daly]

I'm a rat. I'm a jump rat.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right? You don't be a jump rat. You want to hang out with the figure skaters. There can't be no jump rat.

[John Daly]

I burned all my relationships over there. I burned it. It's cool. I burn a lot of bridges, but I'm fucking right.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm right. Yeah. I feel like he the jump rat. They're never going to tell us, but his phrase was just too good. It was too perfect with the needles

[John Daly]

and it was too iconic.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, we know what you are. We know who you are.

[John Daly]

We know you're the only funny German.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right? Yeah. Come on, y' all ain't had nothing come out that slapped since ever. Really.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So. Yeah, we know what you are. So what, what happens at the Olympics now? After an 11 month investigation, the International Ski and Snowboard Federation, the FIS, announced an 18 month suspension for the head coach, assistant coach and suit technician on January 15th. Less than a month before the start of the Winter Olympics. And even after those 18 months, they probably won't become come like, welcome back for work in any sports teams in Norway ever again because of the shame they brought on the house. So the head coach said, we regret it like dogs. And I'm terribly sorry that this happened.

[John Daly]

I think that might be lost in translation. We regret it like dogs. Oh, my God, that's Norway. Norway only.

[Lacey Mosley]

We regret it like dogs.

[John Daly]

We regret it like dogs. Sorry. By the way, these people should get paid for this because it's the only thing that's got me interested in this dumb sport. They should be like, this is. This is probably the biggest having a scandal like this. They should be given a gold medal for just bringing attention to this, you know, for influence. Yeah, exactly. Just like Breakdance.

[Lacey Mosley]

Crazy. I wouldn't have known about breakdance until she went over there and was terrible.

[John Daly]

She's like, I'm a kindergarten teacher or whatever the fuck. I teach break dancing. The kid in the garden.

[Lacey Mosley]

We need you to stop teaching it to them kids. Are you sure the kids aren't teaching you? It's giving the kids a teacher. You break dance.

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

They were like, look what I can do. And you're like, I'm Taking that move.

[John Daly]

Act like a bunny. Act like a cow. Kangaroo.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Marius and Johan, the ski jumpers are. Johan. Will be allowed to compete as long as their crotches aren't enhanced. Dang. Now they're gonna be all in. Y' all crotch, like, heavily. Y' all getting crotch pat downs before everything. Ooh. So the International Ski Federation said they should have checked and asked questions about the nighttime adjustments. Oh, the nighttime adjustments to their crotches.

[John Daly]

Oh, this. This reporter's really, really milking this.

[Lacey Mosley]

Really, truly. Regulators added the new rules before Milan Cortina, which are about to start. Before ski jumping events, two officials and a doctor will use improved 3D measurements to evaluate athletes in their uniforms. The shape of the suit will make it harder to tamper with the arm and leg cuffs and more difficult to lower the crotch to provide more surface area. So now they got an MD that's

[John Daly]

the best use of 3D I've heard recently they're using 3D measurements to measure dick.

[Lacey Mosley]

But this is a doctor.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Why is it a doctor and 3D?

[John Daly]

Yeah. We should have a seamstress.

[Lacey Mosley]

I feel like that's professional, but. Well, yeah, see, seamstress, definitely. But they do have that. They have. They have the officials who, like, work with the shapes of the suits. So they have that. They have all these people who are gonna now be. I don't know, putting them through like a CAT scan before Daniel Day from

[John Daly]

Phantom Threads there fucking twirling his stash.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right? And what. And what a weird job to have as a dog. How do you get to crotch inspection when you get your medical degree?

[John Daly]

I don't know, but that guy's been around.

[Lacey Mosley]

Project inspection.

[John Daly]

His family's never been more happy. Just like dad got a job, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

That's. That's our dad. The one with a handful of the man crotch. Like, what are we doing? So after suits pass the control checkpoint, tamper proof microchips are inserted into the suit to prevent manipulation. Scanners will be able to tell before and after the jump if all of the chips are in place.

[John Daly]

Oh, okay. Wow, that sounds really bad. Yeah, that's just a lot. And that they add weight, those microchips, you know, you don't think they do.

[Lacey Mosley]

Starving. And we got microchips to.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

People prevent crotch tampering.

[John Daly]

Come on.

[Lacey Mosley]

Let them tamper the crotches. Who is it really hurting? Yeah, no one.

[John Daly]

I'll tamper those crotches. Come on, let me in there.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. John just goes to the Olympics to tamper with.

[John Daly]

I'm just tampering crotches you know, in the Olympic village.

[Lacey Mosley]

So also, anyone disqualified for an equipment violation will get a yellow card, like a soccer penalty. Another violation leads to a red card disqualification from the next event, plus the team loses their slot for the skier in the competition. I have a feeling that they don't have enough people who do this sport or want to do this sport, because in any other doping situation or cheating situation, you're just disqualified, and they usually strip you of your medals and your awards or whatever. But for this, like, I think there's not that many guys who can do this. They're like, if we disqualify everybody, we can't. We ain't gonna support no more.

[John Daly]

You know, Germanic people just love to make rules, you know? Oh, no, it's gonna be a yellow card thing and then a red card and then a blue card, and then you're disqualified. Yeah, they just.

[Lacey Mosley]

Black card.

[John Daly]

Yeah. Then have enough than a Visa black card.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

Yeah. This don't have enough participants. You're right. They're just like, okay, well, yeah, we can't really kick this guy out. He's really good.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. This is. It's also. This is super dangerous. And I just feel like if it's a sport that people aren't really interested in, people clearly don't want to do. It's probably also very expensive to train for this. Like, they're not going to be able to get some kid off of the Norway streets and be like, come over here and almost die. Or maybe die.

[John Daly]

Yeah. You need a big kill. And needed a brave person.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[John Daly]

Yeah. To put us to sleep with his.

[Lacey Mosley]

But I love how they're trying to wag their finger. It's almost giving. Like a parent giving the timeout. Like, I'm going to count down from five.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

And then they get to one, and they're like, zero, negative one.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, it's like, you're not really reprimanding these people.

[John Daly]

Wait. His jump is good, but we'll check the dick chips. And the dick chips.

[Lacey Mosley]

The dick chips are good.

[John Daly]

The dick chips are good. He said it's a fake. He's boring. He wins gold in the boring sport.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, man.

[John Daly]

It's a game of inches. It is. It's a game of inches.

[Lacey Mosley]

It is a game of inches and feet. So that brings us to the end of this story that was so riveting. Definitely cared about it so much. But, John, before I let you go, I want to do a scammer of the week. We haven't done one in a while. So a scammer of the week is where we honor, or maybe don't honor a charlatan. Maybe they're worthy of our praise. Maybe they're not. Today we're gonna keep on that Chip thing. You know what I mean? We got dick chips.

[John Daly]

Oh, please. Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

Now we have a couple known as the fake Chip and Joanna Gaines.

[John Daly]

Okay?

[Lacey Mosley]

And they have admitted to $5 million in home renovation scams in Texas. So if you don't know who Chip and Joanna Gaines are, they're a couple who have been on HGTV since 2003, and they are from Waco, Texas, and they created the show Fixer Upper and indoctrinated the American viewing public into combining Shiplap and Claw Foot T. They're evangelical Christians who now. So Trump supporters who now have their own TV network and HomeGoods brand at Target. This is them.

[John Daly]

They're motivated. Oh, they look like they're made of

[Lacey Mosley]

wax, right, Joanna, definitely. Also, Joanna doesn't give me full white lady. I'm like, I don't know why you are evangelical Christian because you're not giving me spicy white up in there somewhere.

[John Daly]

She's a little spicy.

[Lacey Mosley]

When they start holding up them cue cards in the race wars, they gonna take your ass.

[John Daly]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

Not gonna make it.

[John Daly]

Oh, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Not gonna make it, girl.

[John Daly]

Yeah, her 23andMe is.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, we know where. We know where it is.

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Christopher and Raquel Judge are a married couple from Fort Worth. I love that. This is from Texas. They're a married couple from Fort Worth. And they admitted that between 2020 and 2023, they presented themselves as just as good as Chip and Joanna. And they said that they could do architecture, construction, and interior design, just like the famous TV couple. I can tell you right now, it' been years since Joanna, or her man, whatever his name is, Chip, have ever probably touched a hammer, a nail. Like, they're just the face of this. And then the construction workers come in, like, you really think they doing this? That's the power of television.

[John Daly]

We can make stupid claw foot tubs like these jerks. Wait, what is the. So there's a couple that's real.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[John Daly]

And then there's a couple. What did they say they were like a fake couple?

[Lacey Mosley]

Said we can do it just as good as Chip and Joanna. They said we just like Chip and Joanna. Look at us.

[John Daly]

They're whiter, certainly.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, we're white. Wider, too. Like, we look. Come on now. Who you going to go with?

[John Daly]

We follow Christ even more. He's Even deeper in our hearts.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay. I never been to a church that didn't have only drum music.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

All we wear is jeans.

[John Daly]

All we wear is true religion. And there's only one Christ, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

My church always got pyrotechnics. We are the wider ones here. Okay?

[John Daly]

All. All the priests are up on wires. Everybody's flying.

[Lacey Mosley]

Everybody's flying. Hell, I fly sometimes. So they pleaded. The car fake couple, Christopher and Raquel, they pleaded guilty to federal charges of using social media to defraud dozens of homeowners out of nearly $5 million. With the promise of custom homes and renovations, they would present clients with a below market bid to secure the building contracts before starting projects that were never finished and ultimately left victims with incomplete houses. Now, damn. Why would y' all not finish their houses?

[John Daly]

That's weird.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, they were doing a quick check. They were like, we're good looking. We're white.

[John Daly]

People are gonna talk about this. People are gonna talk about this. What was that intonation?

[Lacey Mosley]

I also just love them trying to give out discount. Chip and Joanna Gaines. Like, I hope somebody showed up with, like, a handheld camera and pretended that they were filming it for their own TV show, too. Like, walk us through here, Jodan.

[John Daly]

There's another. There's another level. It's people who do a part, and

[Lacey Mosley]

they're like, when are we gonna see this? Oh, it's gonna be out. It's gonna be out on all platforms.

[John Daly]

Let's judge them just on attractiveness. Let's look at the first good couple.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm trying to figure out. One of them is giving me stud energy. Like, are y' all both girls? Scammer couple?

[John Daly]

I think the first one. The first one. The. The legit ones.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

And then the who. Let's look at the scammers. They're both scammers. Let's face it. Yeah, they're younger, the scammers. But she's got a five head. He's. He's. Yeah. No bad veneers.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, but he's got good eyes, though.

[John Daly]

He's got. He's got gentler eyes. Other. The other guy looks really dumb.

[Lacey Mosley]

He. He looks kind of. Yeah. He also just kind of looks like he hangs out with people that say just, like, the worst things ever. But he considers himself like a better guy because he's just like, co signing.

[John Daly]

He's a cross.

[Lacey Mosley]

He's not. He's not coming up with the bad. He's.

[John Daly]

Yeah, he's just. Yeah, he's. He's. He's withstanding it very Easily.

[Lacey Mosley]

They're cracking a beer. And he's like, yeah, that's why I'm like, we should kill them all. He's like, hey, buddy, you wild boy. Wild boy. But he's there.

[John Daly]

That's my boy. That's my boy.

[Lacey Mosley]

Would this couple get hired at your guy?

[John Daly]

Guys, restaurants for the lady? I'd have to see that body for the guy.

[Lacey Mosley]

I feel like, yeah, the lady. For sure.

[John Daly]

The lady. Yeah, she probably would. She's like, pretty.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, the guy I could see behind the bar. I could see behind the bar. But I need to know what's under that hat because he hat fishing right now. So, you know, hats are makeup for men. So I need to know how much foundation he got on.

[John Daly]

Yeah, he could get hired at a cafeteria, right? Cafeteria.

[Lacey Mosley]

Cafeteria. Yeah. He looks. He looks like he would appear in an episode of Sex and the City.

[John Daly]

Right?

[Lacey Mosley]

You know them? No, they're not getting married.

[John Daly]

He looks like Aiden, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, he does look kind of like Aiden. Yeah. Now, the originals, Chip and Joanna, they not getting hired. Like, Joanna might slide as a hostess somewhere, but Chip, oh, man.

[John Daly]

She'd be a hostess at like. Yeah, Olive Garden.

[Lacey Mosley]

She could do a little better than Olive Garden.

[John Daly]

North hills of Pittsburgh, where I'm from.

[Lacey Mosley]

Damn. Okay. You know, I went to school in Pittsburgh, so I know specifically what you're talking about. I went to Pitt.

[John Daly]

You went to Pitt? Yes. Oh, my God.

[Lacey Mosley]

So I know exactly where did you

[John Daly]

do improv at Friday in that Improvs?

[Lacey Mosley]

I think I tried it. They were like, a little snobby about it at the time.

[John Daly]

They were.

[Lacey Mosley]

And I was like, okay, now who on TV has.

[John Daly]

Exactly, exactly.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, they were a little sobby about it, but. Wow. You went to pit. Holy g. Oh, my God.

[John Daly]

Wow.

[Lacey Mosley]

So. Yeah, but those are litmus tests for if they would be able to work in the hot people restaurants in New York. Now, while clients were asking the scam couple about delays in construction and incomplete projects, Chris and Raquel were using the money on mortgage. Mortgage payments, living experience expenses, and plastic surgery.

[John Daly]

How dare you call yourself a follower of Christ. Oh, my God.

[Lacey Mosley]

Took these people money and went out and got so bbls. Like, I wonder what the plastic surgery was. You did say you saw bad veneers, so perhaps it was the veneers they got.

[John Daly]

Definitely dental. Something dental going on. That guy's got nine extra teeth.

[Lacey Mosley]

Maybe he went to Turkey and got that hair transplant.

[John Daly]

Yeah, and that's why he has that. That hat is a dead giveaway.

[Lacey Mosley]

Cause his hair looks so thick that I feel Like a guy with hair like that is gonna show that hair off.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

I mean, look at Rich. He got his hair out all the time. I rarely see Rich in the hat. Great hair, great hairline.

[John Daly]

He definitely went to Turkey, which I will never do in probably five years.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, if you got that good hair, you gotta have it in the wind. Yeah, he went to Turkey for sure. Even how the band is pulled down, I'm like, yeah, you got some dots up there. Which is okay. Which is okay. But not with other people's money.

[John Daly]

Look how he pushes the band down. You know, he likes his hair a certain way when he takes the hat and that's why he puts it down. He likes to take it off and have it. I know because I'm very vain. And yeah, he's a. He's a gross guy and he's seems like a rapist.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm just gonna say that. Damn Chad.

[John Daly]

Well, no, he's not. Is he gonna come for me? He's a scammer. He scams me. He scams rich people. So that is.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, if you have money to scam,

[John Daly]

that's a little bit. Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

But at the same time, like these people might be median income. Cause we're talking about Texas and we're talking about people who watched like Chip and Joanna, which that was a huge television show on hgtv. These are the non scamming. And they want that claw foot tub. They want that modern place. And like they were excited about it. But somebody telling you you're gonna get it for the low. I never trust that.

[John Daly]

Who would you.

[Lacey Mosley]

But put that bathroom definitely in the Instagram. Cause that is definitely like a Pinterest post. And now everybody wants that. In reality, like cloth tubs are annoying as hell. Like I gotta shower first, then get in there with being my me soup, then drain it, then clean it.

[John Daly]

Yeah. This is a. This is an Airbnb.

[Lacey Mosley]

This is an aesthetic. Yeah, yeah.

[John Daly]

This is not. Oh, they have a tree there. Is that all there? All the.

[Lacey Mosley]

This is like you come in and you take pictures for your Instagram and you talk about self care.

[John Daly]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

And your self care journey. This is staged. Your mental health journey.

[John Daly]

This is not a person's house. This is just staged. And just like they're just like their scam.

[Lacey Mosley]

Just brought up a good point that also you can get injured with a clawfoot tub. Like people almost fall out of them or do fall out of them. Which reminds me of the fact that they're from an older time. And we upgraded the tub for a Fucking reason. But people be all nostalgic, like, oh, I bathe outside with a bucket in hot water, and I just pour it over my body. It's like, there's a whole reason we invented the shower bookie. We don't wanna do that.

[John Daly]

Yeah. Do you wash your clothes with a fucking board thing, like, in a fucking stream? What are you doing?

[Lacey Mosley]

It's a rich people aesthetic to choose struggle because they have free time to do stuff.

[John Daly]

Thank you. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

They're like, that's exactly what it is.

[John Daly]

Oh, it's a little bit of a bespoke kind of thing. It's like a tradwife kind of like.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yep, it's exactly what I was gonna say.

[John Daly]

Perhaps it's 1885. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

My husband wanted fresh baked bread, so I went outside and I grabbed. Grew some wheat. After the wheat had germed and sprouted, I milled it in my kitchen. Once I had the flour made, I went out and milked my cow and turned the butter.

[John Daly]

I was plucking my mistress in my pter in Fort Worth. And then I came home to my horrible robot wife. She had made me. The fresh bread was sourdough. And boy, did it hit the spot. It's.

[Lacey Mosley]

It took three weeks to make. Like, girl, like, it's such a flex. Girl, we going to the store. I don't need to be doing all that. Y' all make y' all own fresh oranges and bread and Rice Krispie treats from actual rice crazy.

[John Daly]

We farm the rice in our rice patty in our backyard, which is we're

[Lacey Mosley]

not supposed to have in Los Angeles county, but we do.

[John Daly]

But we do. We pay the fines.

[Lacey Mosley]

So in one Texas town called Runaway, Runaway Bay, Christopher, who's the guy with the hat on, scammer, he racked up more than 400 citations for building code enforcement, which is now, like, how the FBI got involved. So they were making money with this. And I love that they're in a place called Runaway Bay because they're definitely running away with everybody's money. Like, they asked for a bay window and you ran away. So, yeah, he got over 400 citations because he was just not, like, knowing what he was doing when it comes to building code or any enforcement. So these houses can't even stand. And you know, Texas has some severe weather events. You know how they have the Waffle House index in, like, Florida and, like, other states like Georgia, where, like, if the Waffle House closes, the weather is about to be a real serious situation. Oh, really? Because Waffle House stays open. It's Like, a whole thing. Well, now we have the Ted Cruz index in Texas.

[John Daly]

That's true.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. So it's like, if Ted is cruising, we in for a bruising. You know what I mean?

[John Daly]

If Ted is Runaway Bay, we're in for a bad day.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[John Daly]

Runaway Bay. Who named your town the Babysitters Club, Right? Fucking Nancy Drew mystery girl.

[Lacey Mosley]

I know it does sound like somebody did a murder and everybody has a secret, but, yeah, if Ted flying, everybody dying.

[John Daly]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

So it makes sense that all these citations were what brought the FBI into the situation. And now Chris faces up to 20 years in prison for wire fraud. Now it says Chris. It. It doesn't say Raquel.

[John Daly]

Damn. She thought it was legit the whole time, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

Raquel had to know.

[John Daly]

Did you read about this Jen Shaw thing?

[Lacey Mosley]

Which one?

[John Daly]

Jen Shaw. I just. I don't know about. I didn't watch that, but.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, are you talking about when she was scamming them old people?

[John Daly]

She was scamming old people, and it was like, in order to make a website, you need to pay me $40,000. Old people. Just do it. It's so crazy.

[Lacey Mosley]

She took advantage of the elderly. She's in jail right now currently being an influencer. She'll be out soon. She got her sentence reduced. Like, Jenna. Jenna's about to be out here in these streets again, and I know she's going right back back to Real Housewives of Salt Lake, and I'm. I will have to turn my television on, all right, and see what she's up to.

[John Daly]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, but what she did was completely unethical, and also, she was going after the most vulnerable people in society. At least these people were trying to get a claw tub. If you thinking about a claw food tub, you got your problems.

[John Daly]

Aren't you already have a tub. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

You already have a tub.

[John Daly]

Yeah. You already have one tub, and you probably have four tubs.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. These are rich tub problems.

[John Daly]

Yeah, this is rich. No problem.

[Lacey Mosley]

If you want an aesthetic tub, you definitely already have a tub, and you most definitely have a shower.

[John Daly]

This, like, outdoor shower. Like you already have a shower. You want an outdoor shower.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. We can't feel that bad for you for. For wanting that.

[John Daly]

Yeah. These people own a chain of hardware stores or something. These are rich people.

[Lacey Mosley]

Well, actually, it looks like both of them are scheduled to be sentenced separately later this year, according to federal prosecutors. Now, getting the feds involved is very dumb. Y' all should have kept it at a misdemeanor level. And wire fraud is how they get you. And y' all will probably do time, depending on your audience, though. I feel like if they get a jury of their peers in Bumfuck, Texas, they might get away.

[John Daly]

Yeah, they might. Their peers are going to see those teeth and be like, damn.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. But if your peers are broke, you're not getting away.

[John Daly]

The peers are broke. Orange is the new tub.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[John Daly]

You know what I'm saying? Orange is the new.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[John Daly]

Right, Right. Please. Yeah. I hope they got caught in, like, a. In, like, a county in the middle of the state instead of, like, Runaway Bay or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

I don't want them to be like, is that y' all in there? Runaway Bay Road? Like, Blue Jay Road. I don't want you to get caught on Blue Jay Road. I want y', all, like, be accosted as your Meg.

[John Daly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, I want it to be embarrassing.

[John Daly]

I want Ted Cruz to also be in that jail.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, we would love for Ted Cruz to be in somebody's jail, but no, he's gonna be in Cancun.

[John Daly]

He's gonna be in Cancun. Doing it up.

[Lacey Mosley]

Well, John, that was fantastic. What a wonderful time I've had with you.

[John Daly]

I've had a wonderful time as well.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. We always ask on this podcast, where would you like to be found? So that's anything you want to plug, Social things that you have coming up. People can see you.

[John Daly]

Look, Fallout Season 2 is happening now. It's out. Check it out. It's really good. It's a mobile sensation. Everyone's into it. Yeah. Check. Check me out in that. And check me out at John Daily Graham. J O N D A L Y Graham. And follow me on there for updates on all of my projects. Thank you so much.

[Lacey Mosley]

And as always, y', all, D I V A L A C I D V On all platforms. If you want to see the photos of these people, I know you do. Scam Goddess Pod. Get into it. Scam Goddess Pod on Instagram. Look for us on TikTok as well. And, y', all, my live show is happening right now. So if you are in Chicago, March 26, come slide on me at the House of Bloops. If you are In Irving, Texas, April 9, y' all better show the fuck out. That's where I live. That's where I'm from. Okay? Runaway bae, you run your ass to the show on April 9th. That day Punch Comedy Club. Better rac.

[John Daly]

Ted Cruz is coming.

[Lacey Mosley]

Ted Cruz is coming. You better get out here. New York, NY, April 18 at the Grand Merchant Theater. And then finally, San Francisco, California, April 30th at the Cops Theater. We're gonna have a reunion at the Cops. The know what's up and it's stuck. All right, congregation, I really want y' all to get out there and stay running away. Yeah.

[John Daly]

Damn.

[Lacey Mosley]

Scam Goddess. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming with VRBoCare. Help is always ready before, during, and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind. Hi, I'm Kaitlin Coleman, winner of Target's HBCU design challenge. This challenge moved me closer to my dream of becoming a fashion designer through mentorship and support. You can find my design, along with creations from other black founders in Target's Black History Month collection.