Sketchy Side Hustles

Summary

Scam Goddess – "Sketchy Side Hustles" (November 3, 2022)

Episode Overview

In this hilarious and candid episode of Scam Goddess, Laci Mosley (the Scam Goddess herself) and co-host Priscilla Davies dive into confessions and listener letters featuring cunning side hustles, workplace scams, and the everyday hustle required to survive late-stage capitalism. The duo maintains their signature irreverent, socially-conscious, and highly relatable tone while offering commentary on the fine line between hustle and outright scam.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Online Resource Page Scam – "STEM" to Stem (05:10–11:50)

• Listener Story: A nonprofit worker shares that people constantly email asking to have links added to their program’s resource page, often masquerading as concerned or engaged parents.
• Current Trend: These schemes have gotten more sophisticated; one email came from a "parent" hoping to add an educational link about the water cycle that turns out to promote a flower delivery company.
• Laci’s Take: Calls out the irony and creativity:

  “People like Stephanie do this all the time in an attempt to slide in some free advertisement for their business. But posing as a 'proud mom' whose values align with our organization is on a whole other level.” (08:37)

• Wider Commentary: They riff on the conflation of STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) with literal flower stems, joking about how side-hustling creeps into even philanthropic spaces.

2. Shady Family Schemes – Cousin Tavion in Singapore (14:40–22:19)

• Listener Letter: The tale of "Tavion," a relative who moved to Singapore, cycled through legal and shady hustles: teaching, selling never-delivered photographs, and eventually running fake Airbnb listings as a supposed "liaison" for English-speaking tourists.
• Escalation: Tavion's scam expands into selling counterfeit prescriptions and opioids.
• Hosts React: The scope and boldness of the hustle blows their minds:

  “He’s also all over the place: selling photos, Lucy opioids, Airbnb fraud. Pick a lane, cousin.” (22:41)

• Consequences: He gets caught and now faces up to 25 years of hard labor in Singapore.
• Reflection: Discussion turns to how some scams are just "too much"—you get burned from flying too close to the sun.

3. Social Commentary – Capitalism, Individualism, and Everyday Scams (23:54–28:43)

• Discussion: Digression into late-stage capitalism, corporate exploitation, inflation, and bogus work perks (like pizza parties instead of proper compensation).
• Memorable Quote:

  “Rugged individualism is a scam. It's a fucking scam. And it does nobody any justice. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps is phony as hell.” (26:47)

• Point: The hosts connect personal scams to larger, systemic failings.

4. Public Transit Hustle – Screenshot That Bus Pass! (31:48–38:10)

• Listener Confession: A single mom ("Tasha") explains how she saves money by using a screenshot of her original bus pass, given non-updated ticket scanners.
• Hosts’ Approval: Both commend her resourceful and harmless hack:

  “I love scamming the metro system. This shit should be free anyway.” (35:11)

• Nostalgia: Priscilla reminisces about her own youth dodging train fares, even jumping off moving trains:

  “Not y’all getting into caboose. You don’t gotta pay. We would, like, switch cars. I've jumped off a moving train before, okay? To avoid paying.” (35:58)

5. Parking Lot Side Hustles & Fair Pricing Rant (38:24–40:12)

• Parking Lot Racket: Riffing on how basic parking lots generate “ghetto” passive income.
• LA & Texas Angles: Laci describes the state fair parking “hustles”—turning your front lawn into a $5-$10 parking lot.
• Rising Costs Issue: Both question why services are getting more expensive without any quality improvement—a running theme about exploitation and “legal” scams.

6. Revolutions, Survival & Personal Strengths in Collapse (40:12–43:13)

• Dystopian Skit: The hosts joke about their roles in a coming revolution (“I could provide motivational speaking or throw a comedy show for the revolutionists.”)
• Real Talk:

  “We can't maintain this produce-til-you-die society forever... what works for us is our service to the world.” (42:01)

• Dark Humor: They joke about skills in a post-apocalyptic society (“I'll be the town crier, Paul Revere ain't got shit on me.”)

7. Final PSA & Moral: Don't Get Greedy (43:09–44:58)

• Shoplifting Story: Priscilla tells about a time overzealousness during a shoplifting spree led to her friend being caught after getting greedy.
• Lesson:

  “Don’t get greedy, y’all. If you’re gonna do evil, just do a little bit of evil.” (44:37, 44:50)

• Wider Application: It’s a tongue-in-cheek PSA for scammers, but also a critique of the way even the wealthy overdo it.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Laci on TV budgets:

  “Netflix, y’all need to call Tyler Perry. Y’alls budget for them wigs on Bridgerton is too high.” (03:37)

• On flower stem scams:

  “You all wanna dismantle the patriarchy? Buy a bouquet, bitch.” (09:40)

• On scamming public transit:

  “If you have the money, it becomes less convenient to be doing kick flips and Simone Bilesing over turnstiles.” (38:57)

• On workplace 'perks':

  “If you want to compensate your employees, instead of giving them bonuses with money, you should give them pizza.” (28:04)

• On the criminal justice system:

  “Isn't it kind of fucking absurd that we send people to jail over money?” (29:24)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:39–03:30 – TV, streaming services, subscription sharing scams
• 05:10–11:50 – The nonprofit resource-page flower stem scam
• 14:40–22:19 – Cousin Tavion’s shady Singapore hustles and demise
• 23:54–28:43 – Riffs on capitalism, individualism, and "legal" systemic scams
• 31:48–38:10 – Bus pass screenshot side hustle & public transit cheating
• 38:24–40:12 – Parking lot hustles and rising costs
• 40:12–43:13 – Revolution jokes, survival roles & societal exhaustion
• 43:09–44:58 – PSA: "Don’t get greedy"—Shoplifting story

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Episode Tone & Style

• Fast-paced, unfiltered, and highly comedic
• Deep social commentary seamlessly mixed with laughter and personal stories
• Encourages empathy for hustlers hustling (when they’re not hurting others), critique for systemic scams, and gentle chiding for greedy scammers

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For Listeners Who Missed This Episode

This installment of Scam Goddess features a hearty blend of real-life listener confessions, delightful side tangents about work, survival, and being Black in America, and uproarious riffs on the scams we all endure and sometimes commit just to get by. With segments dissecting everything from flower-delivery “STEM” scams to bus pass hacks and family members overreaching in their hustle, it's a fresh, relatable reminder: "Stay schemin’—just don’t get greedy."

Transcript

[A]

What's poppin? Secret Confessions Congregation. Welcome back. It's us. You know us. Do you love us?

[B]

It's me and her.

[A]

These intros will never be professional. Okay, this is the secret podcast where we do ratchet shit and hopefully don't get sued. My name is Lacey Moseley, AKA Scam Goddess, and I'm here with my co host, as always, the Queen, Ms. Priscilla Davies. And this is a secret bonus podcast where we read your letters, snitch on your friends and family sometime. Y' all shouldn't be too long for the main shit, but you're coming in hot. But it's juicy and we want to talk about it. So here we are. You know what I mean? Some of y' all giving stories. You're giving like 12 parters. And we love it.

[B]

This is our number one complaint that we love also.

[A]

Yeah, don't stop. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I love it. I love it. I love reading novels of messiness, right?

[A]

Listen, as long as it's nice and messy, then I don't care how long it is. Send me a George RR Martin ass fucking long ass letter. Okay?

[B]

But definitely make it short.

[A]

I want six named Aegon. Like, this is a goddamn Game of Thrones. Like, I can't believe they named so many Agon that I had to get on the Internet and Google, like, is this the one that's number one or three? Or this the mad king's son or his cousin? Or which. When are we gonna get to his cousin? Right? Like, y' all can't keep naming this. Say, how you gonna have a show everybody named Mark? How are we supposed to keep up with that? But I feel like we were talking about Apple before we got on here. But I feel like the other cult that I'm a part of is the Game of Thrones cult. Because that shit is ass. And I'm still gonna watch it. Like House of the Dragons.

[B]

Are you watching House of Dragons?

[A]

You know, I'm watching it only because I want to connect with people on the Internet about incest. Why else would I like this shit? Let's not act like Game of Thrones and its cousin, House of Them Dragons ain't both just nighttime soap operas. It's giving scandal.

[B]

Scandal. Scandal. I haven't gotten to the point yet that's, you know, to restart up my hbo. What is it now? Go HBO now? I don't even know.

[A]

We know plus plus maximum now HBO busted open.

[B]

I don't know. Okay? It's just hbo. Whatever. So I. Cause I got kicked off of Prime. Cause I used to be on prime with the hbo, and then they, you know, HBO left. And so I never, like, re. Whatever. Booted it or whatever. And so I'm like, I want to get into this Game of Thrones again, because that's occult. I'm in as well.

[A]

Like, girl, hit me. You know, I got you for them logins.

[B]

Oh, girl, I have so many logins. I'm on Sling TV watching Real Housewives. I gotta go live in.

[A]

I'm starting cable again. It's just me giving my login out to people. I'm like, you want. I mean, at this point, what points do you want?

[B]

I'm like, can we create a business? An illegal one, of course, where we sell illegal passwords. Like bots. Just create the passwords and we sell them.

[A]

I feel like. But Netflix is trying to get wise now. They talking about, oh, we gonna start charging for extra people on your account. Netfl. It's not our fault. Y' all done spent like a billion dollars on Stranger Things, okay? The shit is shot in the woods in, like, I don't know where. Like, y' all could have did that on a shoestring budget. That's y' all fault. We didn't even running up that hill. You could have gave less.

[B]

Yeah, Netflix, I actually just paid. Got my. You know. Cause I do auto pay. So I just got my receipt in my email. I was about to say in the mail in my email, and it's mail. I'm paying 15.49 now. And I was like, God damn. Damn, they got me.

[A]

Yeah, they got me.

[B]

They got me. I remember when I started this shit. I remember when I started Netflix. I was like, oh, what is it? Like 6.99?

[A]

Yeah, why not Netflix? Y' all need to call Tyler Perry. Cause Yalls budget for them wigs on Bridgerton is too high. Okay, just call him. He uses the same wig in every

[B]

movie over and over again.

[A]

And it's working.

[B]

And they literally switch it between actors in the same scene.

[A]

It's like, if you're being shot, then you have the wig, and then when it's not your coverage, you don't have the wig.

[B]

Take that shit off.

[A]

Throw it to them, because we do not have time.

[B]

Pass it.

[A]

Throw it over to them. No, you can't look in the mirror. Just put it on your head.

[B]

Do not fuck up the cipher. The wig cipher cannot be fucked.

[A]

Listen, okay? That man is making money because he is also saving money by just. Honestly, I don't even know why I try. I'M like, working on a show right now, and I'm hitting a bunch of walls and shit. And we're gonna get into the actual episode here. Y' all know we going on tangents, but I was like, why am I trying to make something good? Like, what am I doing? I need to. I need to. I need Tyler. Eesha.

[B]

Talisha.

[A]

Talisha Perry.

[B]

Tylisha.

[A]

Tylisha Perry. I'm about to start putting out mess. Come on now.

[B]

I mean, shit, why not?

[A]

It seems fun, but. All right, guys, we'll get into it now.

[B]

No, but for real, guys.

[A]

Now.

[B]

For real.

[A]

Yeah, for real this time. For real.

[B]

Okay, so today we're starting with a little aliko, as our Jamaican. Our Jamaican fam says. Which, by the way, my whole childhood, I thought I was crazy hearing that. Lickle. Lickle. And then I saw it actually written one day as an adult, and I was like, oh, they're really saying lickle With K's.

[A]

Yeah, with K's.

[B]

I love my Jamaican fam. All right, so let's get into it.

[A]

Hey, Lacey.

[B]

I work for a nonprofit. Woo. This is in parentheses. Woo. The charity case episode this week hit way too close to home. I guess that's in reference to an episode.

[A]

Yeah, it's the Brett Favre one. Yeah. Which turns out to be way, way worse than I thought.

[B]

Oh, interesting. So many of our programs occur in school, and we obviously had to pause those during the pandemic to try and still provide programming to the girls. We added a resources page to our website with fun activities that girls could do at home with their families.

[A]

So this is stem? This is. They're trying to get women into stem?

[B]

Yes. STEM being science, technology, engineering, and math. Yes. Yeah. I be knowing some acronyms.

[A]

You be doing some acronyms.

[B]

Just a little bit.

[A]

I literally learned the whole acronym on SNL with Megan Thee, Stallion. I had. No one had ever. I knew it was something mathy and something sciencey.

[B]

Damn. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to Vibes. Welcome to the fold, girl. Okay, so, yeah, so to provide some fun, they put some stuff on the website when they weren't there during the pandemic. We've since resumed in school programming, but over the past 2.5 years, we get emails from people every week trying to get us to add a link to their website to our resources page. Typically, this involves them sending us a link to a page with some sort of educational content, but when you look at the other pages on the site, it is always a business of some kind, like an insurance agency or someone selling something we really haven't updated the page since late spring of 2020, but people keep trying. Lately, the attempts have gotten craftier. Like the one I got this week from Stephanie in Quotations and her quotations daughter, Allie, end quote. Honestly. Honestly, I have to give Stephanie points for trying. She poses as a mom who's excited about her daughter's growing interest in STEM and acts like her daughter found this amazing page that describes the water cycle, which Stephan benevolently passed along to us on her daughter's behalf.

[A]

Now, I have to pause for one second. Her daughter's excitement for stem. Like. Like. Just STEM in general. Like. Like math or science.

[B]

Even flower stems. She's with it. It doesn't.

[A]

She was just like, all stems. My daughter loves stems. She really is into stems. So y' all should put the water cycle on the website. Also, water cycle feels a little basic for stems. Like, I thought they were supposed to be like, science geniuses, math geniuses. Well, the water cycle is given third grade.

[B]

You don't have to be a genius to, like, statin.

[A]

But it's giving ice condensation, water evaporation. That's not genius.

[B]

Shit. I know. I'm like, water cycle. This amazing page describes the. Oh, okay. Cause I was immediately bored when I heard that. Right, so. Which Stephanie benevolently passed along. The site does indeed describe the water cycle, but it's hosted by a website that sells flower bouquets.

[A]

People like Stephanie naturally being right. When she says stem, she literally meant the stem of a rose.

[B]

100%. 100%. People like Stephanie do this all the time in an attempt to slide in some free advertisement for their business, but posing as a quote, proud mom, end quote, whose values align with our organization is on a whole other level. So basically, Stephanie's out here trying to get some free advertisement for her flower business.

[A]

Yeah. And doing it through kids who are trying to get an education in a field where they are severely marginalized because STEM tends to be overrun with cisgendered males. So the whole point of trying to get women in STEM is that women who have interests in science and math and shit kind of get run out by asshole men all the time. So they're like, hey, y', all, come over. Come on back, girlies. To the stem. Right? And she was like, also flowers, y' all bitches. They. Y' all women buy these flowers, too, while y' all laughing.

[B]

And you know what else has stems? Funnily enough, flowers.

[A]

Y' all wanna dismantle the patriarchy? Buy a bouquet, bitch.

[B]

Okay, so we're looking at the site here for the flower, the water cycle, cloud formation. I mean, it's giving, like, educational sight. It's giving. And then there's Ava's flowers. Very large at the top.

[A]

Same day delivery.

[B]

Oh, my God. Listen, we all gotta eat.

[A]

We do, but I just feel like if you need to advertise for flowers, I don't know, maybe start pulling up to some funerals or, like, you know, get on the highway like other people do in LA and just be at, like, on the overpass, hoping that people who fucked up something in their marriage will stop real quick.

[B]

And people who forgot their wife's birthday,

[A]

that's low key, because I always think when I drive past people selling flowers on the street. Like, on streets that aren't even, like, walkable. I'm like, this must work, because otherwise, why would you be out here all the time? I think people must. It must be a lot of people who fucked up their marriages on the way home. They're like, I don't got time to stop.

[B]

When I see motherfuckers doing that, especially on or around Valentine's Day. I'm like, y', all, come on now.

[A]

Come on. Listen. They providing a service, okay?

[B]

And they are. But it just really, really lets me know that you're headed for divorce and you deserve it.

[A]

It's giving Stouffers. Like, if someone brings me a chocolate box, that's that red heart with the plastic. I'm like, you don't love me.

[B]

You don't love me. Cause this is garbage.

[A]

Like, you bought this right next to the pharmaceuticals, bitch. You don't love me.

[B]

You want to get your athlete's foot cream and pick this up and think that I'm supposed to be endeared by this? Come on, right?

[A]

A box of chocolates that are mostly nasty.

[B]

And that's the other thing, too. It's not even good.

[A]

Mm. Mm. But they staying in business because they, like, look, we know it's a lot of trash people out there. You know, there's a lot of people who are bad in relationships and that they're keeping us in business.

[B]

I mean, and there it is. So shout out to Stouffers. Shout out to Ava's flowers. Shout out to the people on the side of the freeway for doing the Lord's work.

[A]

Literally. Love this for them. All right, let's read another letter. That was a tepid intro. This one says, I need a fake name for this person. I guess the other person we didn't need a fake name for.

[B]

They were just like, Damn. Sorry, dawg. Let's call that retroactively. Let's call that person Jim. And then this one let's call Belinda.

[A]

Belinda. I like the name Belinda. That was my favorite English teacher, Belinda Nolan. Yes. And she was a real one.

[B]

Was she black?

[A]

She was a southern white lady. And we hung out after we, like, after I graduated and shit. Like, she was cool as fuck. She got me tickets to see Maya Angelou. She told me my biggest hater was, like, just hating on me. Cause I'm the shit. And she was right. Like, she really supported me. I had great English teachers. I feel like English teachers be like,

[B]

it's always English teachers that people have that bond with.

[A]

Yeah, Ms. Rankin. It's just like, they don't be about to. Like, I was just kicking it. I loved being in there.

[B]

I was never that person. I have no teacher that I look back on and I'm like, yeah. I would be like, I'm here to work and I'm here to go home. And also fuck around with the homies. Right.

[A]

Ms. Youngblood. I also gotta throw her in. They're all white ladies for me. But I'm from Texas. I'm from Frisco, Texas. Ms. Youngblood. Also a real one. Cause I used to get picked on by this girl named Nicole in school. And she was, like, such a bitch. Like, she was always coming for me, always being me. Like, she was just a fucking hater. And one day I was doing a presentation, and she started, like, talking shit during the presentation. And for some reason, she got up. I don't know what happened. Like, I kind of, like, blocked it out a little bit. But I remember I picked her up by her. The bottom of her jeans.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And her shirt. And I slung her across this fucking table. Jesus.

[B]

What the hell?

[A]

I had had it. I went full she hulk. I don't know what. I blacked out. I was just like, I'm so sick of this bitch bothering me. I'm black and Texas is already hard enough.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And I remember Ms. Youngblood, who, like, we used to just kick it with her. Like, it was definitely inappropriate. She would gossip with us. We would, like, gray papers with her sometimes. We were all like. We would all volunteer to rub her shoulders. Just the girls. I don't know. And it wasn't creepy. I don't know how to explain it, but we'd be like, I want to rub your shoulders. I don't know what was going on. And maybe she knew that too, and that's why she was Chilling. But she took me outside when that happened, and she closed the door to the classroom and she said, look, just stand out here. I'm not gonna report this or send you to the principal's office, but just like, just go do something for the rest of the class. So she think you got in trouble. Wow.

[B]

Ms. Youngblood was a real one.

[A]

She was a real. She knew that bitch deserved it.

[B]

Damn. All right, Ms. Youngblood, I see you.

[A]

She was a real one. Shout out to Ms. Youngbud. She always had great manicures, too. Oh. Anyways, Belinda.

[B]

Back to Belinda.

[A]

So Belinda says my cousin fucked up his bag big time. A little bit of background on my cousin, please. Call him whatever you want. What do you want to call him?

[B]

Let's call him Tavion.

[A]

Tavion. So Tavion is in his early 40s and has a bit of a shady past that I honestly don't know too much about because he's 14 years older than me and I was a kid when he got into trouble. And my lace curtain Irish family doesn't talk about it. I don't know what lace curtain means.

[B]

I never heard of that either. And I haven't heard that either.

[A]

Somebody tell us what that means. Yeah, something about cocaine in Costa Rica. Anyway, we should have started with this verse. I can't. Belinda. Okay. Talking about cocaine in Costa Rica. All right, that's makes sense to me. A few years ago, whatever you want to call him, we call him Tavian, right?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

He moved to Singapore to be an English teacher. Oh, wow. We were just talking about English teachers. That's wild that that came up. So he moved to be an English teacher. The realest teachers out there. And after a couple of failed careers stateside, all was going well as a teacher until he was mysteriously let go about two years ago. Not a big deal. Cousin is a photographer in. He even sold some photographs to his co workers at his school. So he was slanging photos at school. He said, I gotta get my side hustle up. He sets up a website and starts selling prints of his photographs and even sells a few to my dad. The photos never come, but cousin swears that they are on their way now. It's the pandemic. So obviously they're in the mail and it's just coming. It's taking a long time. The photos still don't come. Well, they must have gotten lost in the mail. It's weird. The same thing happened to some of the teachers at the school where he used to teach. Okay, if I sell you something and we both Work at the same place. Why wouldn't I just bring it to the job house? Why? Why?

[B]

Why?

[A]

You what?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, maybe. Maybe there's a distributor. It's not coming straight from him. I don't know.

[A]

He could have it sent to his house. Also, it's not that expensive to print a photo. And you're selling like, okay, sir. Okay, cousin. I guess it's better than cocaine. You slinging fake photos? I don't know. Maybe. So he's selling these photographs, but he's not actually giving people the photographs, Right? My dad insists he doesn't need a refund. He's happy to help his nephew. And maybe he'll buy another photograph later. I know that's right. That's the real one. He was like, I know he's stealing from us. I'm just trying to give him confidence. Right?

[B]

That's a real uncle. Go ahead, Uncle.

[A]

You're a real. Unk, unk. We like you. So cousin is still living in Singapore, making a living selling photographs during the pandemic. And maybe doing some other sort of vague form of online tutoring once travel opens up again. Following lockdown, he decides to get into the Airbnb game. Okay, yeah, we know he a criminal now. Yeah, come on now.

[B]

Airbnb is for criminals.

[A]

Literally. It used to be like, oh, a sweet little bed and breakfast. And like, it's cheaper than a hotel. Now it's like, bitch, you all right? We got hidden cameras everywhere. Included in the toilet. We are filming your booty hole. Also, we gonna need you to mop up the whole house and sweep the roof, period. And do all the laundry before you leave. And we also still have a cleaning fee.

[B]

Yeah, and we're gonna need that DNA sample. We're gonna need that mother's maiden name. We're gonna need them fingerprints. Fuck.

[A]

No refunds. No refunds. No refunds.

[B]

Even if the place is locked when you get here and you can't get in, we're keeping your cash.

[A]

Yeah, we told you the key was

[B]

on the roof, period. And that's not my fault that you

[A]

can't if you not tall. That sounds like a genetics problem.

[B]

Just cause you're not spider man. That's not my fault.

[A]

It's not my fault. Okay. Also, yeah, we watching you 24 7.

[B]

24 7. We live in your brain now, just so you know. We can see from your brain.

[A]

And we doing a live stream and we selling it on YouTube with AdSense. Literally.

[B]

And you're not entitled to any of the profits, just so you know, when

[A]

you sign that really long agreement, you agree to all of this. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So go ahead and spit in this cup.

[A]

Literally. So Airbnb game. We know he about to be a criminal. There's so many great Airbnbs in Singapore, but there's a lot of fake ones, too. And some of the great ones, the owners don't speak English. So he sees a market and decides to fill it. He'll start an Airbnb liaison service. Okay. How about you being the Airbnb translator? Okay. Okay. People send him the money for their Airbnbs, plus a convenience fee, and he does all the booking for them, no problem. Y' all just get a travel agent, you know?

[B]

And also, like, with this dude, it's like, why not just do it? Why just take. I don't know what's gonna happen, but I feel like it's gonna involve taking the money and running. But it's like, that's actually kind of a good idea to be a liaison. That was actually a smart idea, right?

[A]

Like, you could've actually. You speak the language. You could have really made this a thing.

[B]

Like, you would literally just be making bookings, and if you did well enough, you could just hire somebody to do it.

[A]

Right? You could have expanded and been like, okay, what y' all trying to see in Singapore? Cause I know all the hot spots. Yeah, like, you know, like, you could have went with the biggest places and been like, oh, let me talk to him for you. Like, you not gonna get. Like, you could've. I don't. I feel like you were so close to legitimacy.

[B]

Let's just see how this turns out. Because I'm like, dawg, sometimes the legitimate scam is the scam, right?

[A]

And, I mean, that's also just living in America, we call a lot of shit legit. That is definitely crime. So he's giving people they little bookings and whatever. So, yes, of course. Cousin was scamming people, pretending to book Airbnbs for them, pocketing the cash plus his fee on top of that. Okay, not a big deal. That'll get him maybe a few months, and he can probably just get picked up by the State Department, right? He's a handsome white man. No big deal. Except it turned out that his visa expired when he was fired from the school, and he was selling blank counterfeit prescription sheets, plus using those to get himself opioids for his personal use.

[B]

God damn, Tavion, you doing too damn much.

[A]

This is a lot of crime. Tavion, aren't you stressed?

[B]

And I'm stressed Just reading this. And this is how I know you're. It's like.

[A]

And it says in parentheses, no judgment. Addiction is a disease that runs in the family. Yeah, and also, selling loose opioids runs in the family. Belinda.

[B]

No, that doesn't.

[A]

Selling loose opioids runs in the family.

[B]

No, that can be, like, after the parentheses. I don't think that.

[A]

No, it just runs in the family. Like, we sell loose.

[B]

No, girl, I don't think that's what you meant.

[A]

No, it's genetics. You don't know how genetics work. You can even get into stem.

[B]

Oh, God, she's. No.

[A]

Selling Lucy pills runs in the family. I can't help it.

[B]

I don't know if that was connected to that statement, but go ahead.

[A]

So he's currently facing up to 25 years of hard labor. Damn.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The State Department is monitoring the situation, but currently has no plans to intervene. Yikes. I don't have a cute, fun way to end this story, so I guess that's it. Lmao. My cousin still embodies the spirit of our criminal Irish ancestors who got sent to America as a punishment, and I admire that in him. But he flew way too close to the sun, unfortunately, got super caught. Good thing Singapore has decided to ease off on executing foreigners.

[B]

Oh, well, Tavion, I. Yeah, I mean, we. I feel like this is a reoccurring theme. You can't do too much, brother. You just can't. It's too much.

[A]

He's also all over the place selling photos. Lucy. Opioids.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Airbnb fraud.

[B]

He's like, pick a lane, cousin. Pick a lane. And you even have your favorite uncle in your corner.

[A]

He said, jack of all trades, master of none.

[B]

I mean, my God. And not even the trade of scamming, like, it's just too much. I just wanna know what's going on with Tavion. That you're out here getting involved with cocaine in Costa Rica. You're getting mysteriously fired from these jobs.

[A]

Yeah. Like, why did you get fired from teaching English at the school?

[B]

You know, I was hoping that we were gonna find that out, Belinda. But, hey, I guess maybe you still don't. The family still doesn't know.

[A]

Nobody knows.

[B]

Cause you're lace curtain Irish people, which. Did we ever find out what that meant?

[A]

So lace curtain Irish is people who were well off, while the shanty Irish were the poor who were presumed to live in shanties or roughly built cabins. Neither term was complimentary.

[B]

Oh, so it's kind of.

[A]

So it's given, like, aristocracy or, like, the bourgeoisie, or what we call in America billionaires and millionaires.

[B]

Yeah. And half million. Any. Basically everybody who's not struggling, which is about 1.3% of the population, literally.

[A]

I was just on Twitter and was, like, looking at a government, like, you know, when they be in Congress and the girlies be going up, and this woman was holding a chart, and it was describing how inflation is. Is 53% of inflation right now is corporate greed. It's not the actual rise in the cost of materials. It's not scarcity.

[B]

It is incredible. Like, I was talking to my brother, you know, it was my birthday last week. Yes.

[A]

A Libra queen.

[B]

Libra queen

[A]

with a working elevator. For those of you who commented on

[B]

the birthday post, shout out to my homie. I wish I knew your name off top, but shout out, Issa.

[A]

I think it's Issa. Trey. Who said it?

[B]

Was it? Oh, thank you for Shout out to her. Thank you for looking out.

[A]

Super congregant, a deacon.

[B]

For real. For real. Thank you, girl, for looking out. And I'm happy to report, guys, you know, knock on wood. Don't send me no evil, evil eyes, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

But the elevator has been acting right consistently probably since the last time I mentioned it, I think, which was like a couple episodes ago. So we're doing good. And thank you for your prayers. Thank you for.

[A]

We're keeping you uplifted. We are.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And the elevator is now uplifting you as well, which is.

[B]

Thank you. Now, if I can add one thing, guys, to the prayer list. The water. They keep turning the water on and off. So I need you guys to pray for me that they don't.

[A]

And I'm gonna throw my elevator on the sick and shut in because it also keeps breaking. No. Yes, girl.

[B]

I'm gonna pray for you. I'm gonna. I have my sage over here. I'm gonna do a little smudging.

[A]

My Palo Santo, it breaks so often, people don't say shit about it anymore. We have this new building manager who's hella rude, and we used building manager who was, I guess, a little creepy, but he was really good at his job, which is sad that that's the sacrifice in America.

[B]

It's a give and take. It's a give and take.

[A]

He was always making sure the elevator was fixed. If you get locked out, he was there anytime, day or night. But also, like, he was.

[B]

Let him touch your feet sometimes.

[A]

And what a small sacrifice to have excellent service.

[B]

Well, you know, I mean, come on. But, yeah, I was Talking to my brother about all that shit. I forgot what the hell we were talking about. God damn it.

[A]

I was talking to my brother about inflation. We were talking.

[B]

I was talking to him, and I was like, you know, talking about, like. And I was like, you know, the older that I get, the more adult stuff I get involved in. Adulting, et cetera. I am just amazed that we haven't had revolution within the last 60 years. Like, I just can't believe that we're just walking around just getting used and abused by the corporatocracy that's supposedly our government.

[A]

It's getting worse. It's. Cause rugged individualism is a scam.

[B]

It's a fucking scam. And it's like. And it does nobody any justice. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is phony as hell. And wasn't that phrase, like, there's a whole other part of that phrase which says, because you can't, it's not possible.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So it's like, they even fucked that shit up. But, yeah, it's. It's. It's crazy. We're heading towards some disasters, though, so.

[A]

Yeah, it's bleak.

[B]

It's Memphis bleak out here.

[A]

Like, every day. My iPhone tells me bad things. Twitter tells me bad. I'm like, oh, it's getting bleaker and bleaker, huh?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, we got the whole thing here. So you can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps any more than you can by your shoelaces.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's the whole. The whole purpose of this was to say that it's not possible. And these freaking con artists, AKA our government and the freaking corporate overlords, literally manipulated that phrase into being like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

No, that's good. No, y' all should try. Cause we took the boots, too. You ain't got no boots, but, like, imagine if you did have boots. Just close your eyes.

[B]

Visualize with me.

[A]

I saw some article that was, like, talking about how if you want to compensate your employees, instead of giving them bonuses with money, you should give them pizza. Wow. You should throw a pizza party.

[B]

I mean, it's not like they don't already do that.

[A]

It's better for morale. Pizza over money.

[B]

I'll take the money, sir, please. Right?

[A]

Someone retweeted and was like, okay, then why are all the CEOs taking hella bonuses that are not in pizza?

[B]

And that's the. And there it is. And that's the question. So, yeah, we're drowning folks. We're drowning Everything's on fire. And then especially here in la, I mean, we really. We fight in the unhoused problem here.

[A]

And we're not literally fighting the unhoused. I mean, the problem. She means the problem.

[B]

The unhoused problem. Not them. Not those people. They're great. I'm talking about the system that puts them in that situation.

[A]

Exactly. And we're slowly moving. Not even slowly, it's getting more rapid. To criminalizing being homeless, which is bad.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, in some places. Actually, you know, my home state of New Jersey, they. Not the whole state, but a town criminalized people being unhoused, which is hilarious.

[A]

Listen, you don't got money, you gotta go to jail.

[B]

Can you believe it?

[A]

Even. Just.

[B]

I was actually thinking about that today. Cause there was something that they were saying about somebody. Oh. Oh. I read this article about this tennis player, Boris Becker, who's like a OG tennis player. He's in jail for moving his money or some shit in a way that was illegal. And it's just like. I was like, isn't it kind of fucking absurd that we send people to jail over money?

[A]

Yeah, it's debtors prison. We're like, how can we make it 2022, though, for debtors prison?

[B]

Like, 2022, but making. Make it fashion. Like, yeah, like, it's crazy that, like, we literally are like, oh, you don't have enough money, or you didn't pay this. Like, you go to jail. Not like, okay, well, now you gotta pay it back. Like, no, no, no, you go to jail. Like, it's insane that we allow.

[A]

Which cost taxpayers money.

[B]

Girl, it's just such a. It's just such a racket. And, you know, we, you know, we know who's responsible and we know what's going on. And. And, you know, we're always trying to recruit people to.

[A]

And what's wild to me, too, is, like, how people are suffering so much right now, financially, you know, healthcare, everything. But all of the news is always like, look over there. Like, everybody's always discussing trans people and their rights and shit. And I'm like, I personally know hella trans people. I know y' all do not. So why are y' all even in a business? You don't even know any of them. And y' all talking about, oh, well, if they could come in the bathroom, they gonna attack us. I'm like, bro, what are you talking about? Men attack us everywhere. We are always unsafe because of the men.

[B]

Like, it's just such a racket. And it's just so Fucked up. That, like, you know, it's just like, my thing is, like, can we just make sure that everybody eats? Can we just, like, do that? And has a house. Can we do that?

[A]

Nah. We ain't even got rainwater that's safe to drink no more. It's over.

[B]

Not to mention that it's illegal to collect rainwater. We can't win in America. America.

[A]

And I love that for us. At some point, you just gotta let it take you.

[B]

You just gotta ride the wave, man. Like, that's it. Like, totally. Do we wanna.

[A]

Oh, do you wanna, like. We could do a short one.

[B]

Yeah. I was like, do you wanna jump

[A]

so we don't end on something so bleak.

[B]

This is cute. So let's get a name for this scammer.

[A]

Tasha.

[B]

Ooh, short for Latasha. I love it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Tasha says, I just started a new job in the downtown area of my big city. Anyways, I am a young single mother, and a couple dollars here and there adds up. Got it. The traffic downtown is crazy to get out of work, and my job does. Does not reimburse for parking. I hate those motherfucking jobs. You know those jobs where it's like that you have to pay.

[A]

I gotta pay to come to get money. You gotta pay to work.

[B]

It makes me. Those types of jobs always piss me off when you're like, you know, oh, they're like, oh, you can get a parking pass for. I gotta get a what, bitch?

[A]

And we'll give it to you at a discount, bitch. No, it should be free. I'm coming here to do labor, okay?

[B]

Like, what the fuck? So this parking can be up to $16 a day. So I've decided it's best to take the bus valid. Our city's public transportation system is absolutely trash. I mean, aren't they all? Let's be real. Especially when we're talking about buses. Lord, that's one thing I try to avoid. Honey, I am a train ho. Okay? And even. And I gotta tell you, the LA metro has fallen apart. So I don't even feel like a bad bitch on the trains anymore.

[A]

I can't remember the last time I took a bus. I think it was in college. Cause when I lived in New York, I would never get on the bus. I was. I was scared of it.

[B]

It's terrifying. First of all, I gotta train. Only I gotta deal with the guy who's beatboxing in the corner. Okay, Yeah, I gotta deal with.

[A]

Now they're doing that on the train, too.

[B]

They do, but it's Less.

[A]

They're doing Showtime.

[B]

It's less.

[A]

You might get kicked in the face.

[B]

It's a little bit. And it also depends on what kind of train we talking. The subway. We talking, like, a fancy, you know, New Jersey transit train, you know?

[A]

And Showtime ain't nothing but, like, misogyny strippers. Like, y' all doing the same shit. Y' all swinging on the pole.

[B]

Wait, the what? What's misogyny? Strippers.

[A]

Showtime. Oh, they do a pole trick.

[B]

It's true. It's true. And then those shoes.

[A]

And they got no hot wings.

[B]

I mean, those tricks hit, though. I'm not gonna lie. So, Yeah, I just.

[A]

You can't look. You gotta tip. If you look. I look out of my stare straight ass.

[B]

I wear sunglasses at all times in public. You know that too. Cause I be minding.

[A]

I'm not looking. Cause I'm not giving y' all no show tips. I don't care. I'm not looking.

[B]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Public transportation is just. It's just. It's a lot. So she takes the bus and she says that it's absolutely trash. But recently, they recently allowed riders to purchase bus passes through the mobile app. Okay. What they haven't done is upgrade the ticket collector system, so there is nowhere to scan the purchased bus pass. And the driver just flags you down. Which, I mean, they get. Which, I mean, they get paid regardless, so why should they care? So, long story short, I've reused the first bus pass I ever bought by taking a screenshot of it on my phone. And nobody has ever a. I love this. Nobody's ever questioned it. I've saved almost $100 in bus fares so far and hope to keep on. Oh, Tasha, thank you for sharing this. I don't. Why am I singing? Thank you. Because I'm full of joy.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

I'm full of joy. I love scamming the metro system. I was a bitch.

[A]

This shit should be free anyway.

[B]

Period. Period. Growing up in New Jersey, I lived a seven minute walk to a train. The train station, our New Jersey transit. And so sometimes I would take the train to school. And, you know, sometimes my homies would come with me too. Like, we'd be like, yeah, I'll meet you on the train. And so, like, it was a train.

[A]

They weren't going to school with you. They just enjoyed the train to yourself.

[B]

No, no, I'll meet you on the train. To go to school. To go to school.

[A]

My homies just love riding the train with me to school.

[B]

I wish, I wish no, we all had school, but it was like a regular train with a conductor and the engine. So, like, they would come around and, you know, stamp your. Or, like, you know, punch your ticket or whatever. So if the dude didn't get to you by the time it was your time to exit, you ain't had to pay, right?

[A]

Not y' all getting into caboose. You don't gotta pay.

[B]

We would, like, switch cars. Like, I've walked. I've jumped off a moving train before, okay? To avoid paying. And I'm not even fucking lying. I've done that multiple times before.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Top cruise, MI5 right here, baby. So I love a good, you know, I love a good hustle, you know, reusing the same, you know, metric, whatever, you know, whatever. I love it. It feels so good. It reminds me of my childhood. Right?

[A]

And it's harmless. And look, your kids deserve that money more than the train does.

[B]

Amen. And I love.

[A]

It's called good parenting.

[B]

I love the fact it is. Let's put that in the good parenting journal. I love the fact that you went from having to be down 16 bucks a month for parking to coming up bit to coming up.

[A]

Yes. $16 a day.

[B]

That's a lot.

[A]

Depending on where you're working, that could be an hour's pay. Like, that's fucking crazy. And also, parking lots are such a fucking scam. Like, you just bought some land and then put some white paint down, and now you rich. This is very ghetto.

[B]

It's insane. And I definitely plan on doing that in Los Angeles at some point. You know what I mean? For sure. Getting some land and throwing some asphalt on there. You know what? Fuck asphalt. We'll just do grass. We'll do it. Rusty. Grass and grass and gravel.

[A]

Park by that rock. No, park by that rock. Not that rock. The other one. The other one.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's your spot.

[B]

Park in the dirt.

[A]

Listen, that's the thing in Texas, like, when you go to the state fair, whenever the state fair opens up everywhere in this certain area in Texas, which I love. Cause it's actually pretty, like, hood. And, you know, anywhere you got an MLK Boulevard or Barack Obama. Right, right. And I love it because then it's like, you do be parking on people. Grass and shit. They be like, park on that mailbox and get in there tight.

[B]

Oh, my God, yes.

[A]

People just turn their land into parking.

[B]

You need to go to the fair. Do they charge you or they. Do they let you.

[A]

Yeah, they charge.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

So if you got a front Lawn, guess what? You. A parking lot.

[B]

That's really. That's a good idea. Shit, that's really smart, right? Yeah. Shout out to Tasha. I'm glad. I'm happy that a single mom is out here getting hers.

[A]

Right? And look, try it. If your bus system don't got nothing like that, Take a screenshot. What's the worst that's gonna happen? You gotta pay 225.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

If they catch you.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

You'd be like, oh, it was old. Ooh, my bad. It was 225.

[B]

You do it. And here comes the marshal from the backseat. Well, ma', am, I'm gonna have, like, what?

[A]

Which is not even shocking. Cause that's what they do on the subway in New York. They pay police officers to hang out there to get people fare skipping. Like, bitch, if you don't. It costs more for this cop to. Than it does for these people to skip the fair.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I just feel like a big city. Like, come on, dawg. Like, you can let people skip some fairs. Let it be.

[A]

Just let it just.

[B]

I won't say nothing. You won't say nothing. And the people who got the money will pay.

[A]

Exactly. Because the thing is, if you have the money, it becomes less convenient to be trying to do acrobatics over turnstiles. Like, if I could afford it, then, no, I'm not about to doing kick flips and Simone Bilesing over the turnstile. Cause that's a lot of work.

[B]

Okay? I'm not trying to squeeze in with that stroller through the door.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

I don't wanna do that. This isn't my baby, you know? Right.

[A]

I'm not trying to do dismounts to get on the J train. But if I need it, if I can't afford it, then, you know, a bitch gonna have to do a kick flip. Okay? I'm gonna be Tony Hawk. What do you mean?

[B]

And as you know, someone, when I, you know, am in a good financial situation, I feel good knowing that I'm helping out. You know, it's like when you put a little too much money in the meter and you end up leaving sooner than you thought. You're like, you know what? I'm pissed that I wasted this money,

[A]

but somebody gonna pull up and that green gonna be like, just pay it forward, baby.

[B]

Pay it forward. You know? So. Yeah, I mean, exactly. It's just. It should just be like, it would even itself out. And if we are gonna pay, it should be like a nominal fee. You know what I mean? It should Be like a quarter.

[A]

I also don't like that prices keep going up and shit don't get nicer. Like, how is things getting more expensive? But things aren't getting. That's. That don't. That don't make sense to me.

[B]

Yeah. I mean. And that's why we're gonna have a revolution in a few years.

[A]

Damn. I'm really sad about the revolution. Cause I truly don't want to fight. Like, I don't want to have to be out. Can I. I feel like I could. Maybe I could provide motivational speaking or,

[B]

like, I just wanna do some vandalism that I fuck with. You know what I'm saying? But actually, like, trying to be on the front lines. No, ma'. Am. Mm. Mm.

[A]

No, not this. My being inspirational. I'll throw a comedy show for the revolutionists.

[B]

I'll. Marilyn Manson. Not Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Monroe. The troops. No, I'm gonna. Marilyn Manson the troops, too.

[A]

Right? Listen, we about to be in the USO of the revolution. Y' all gonna need to keep y' all spirits up. Okay? Okay.

[B]

You guys need to laugh. And that's what I'm here for.

[A]

Right? At the end of the night, when everybody's eating their rations, you know, I'll come on stage.

[B]

I'm a Yankee do tan. Tj.

[A]

I was like, y' all fought good today, man. Pepper spray. Am I right?

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Bitches be looting. Bitches be looting.

[B]

What about this child, y'?

[A]

All.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Oh, man. Like, I got y' all for that. I got y' all for that. I don't know if I need to be fist fighting, though. I'm not a good fighter. Y' all don't want that breast. Okay? I'm trying to.

[B]

I'm trying to stay out of the fray.

[A]

I saw a tweet thread that killed me that was talking about, like, when everything collapses. Sorry, we came back to that. But, like, do you have any skills? Until people were like, oh, I can sew. And someone was like, I grow my own food. That's why I was like, I'm loud as fuck. I'll be the town crier.

[B]

You need to know your strong suit.

[A]

Listen, Paul Revere ain't got shit on me. I'll make sure everybody know that the people are coming.

[B]

Okay? You need to know your strong suit. And that's one of the things, you know, why we're gonna have this revolution is because it's like, we can't maintain this production, productivity, society, produce til you die. Society forever. It's like we need to just be doing what works for us. Because what works for us is what our service is to the world. You know what I mean?

[A]

Right? And also, things is too expensive. It's expensive to be born. It's expensive to die.

[B]

It's expensive to get married. It's expensive to get divorced.

[A]

It's just. Come on, y'. All. Like, I think we can all just rally around. Like, it would be nice if we just. Everything wasn't so bad, but I would.

[B]

That's one of the things I said to my brother. I was like. When we were talking about this, I was like, I mean, if you're just gonna. If you're gonna be evil, just be a little bit evil. Like, you don't have to be this evil, dog. Like, you can't.

[A]

Why are y' all trying to be the best at evil? Like, I don't just. You don't be smart. Go take a walk. This is.

[B]

This is the message of confession. When you do scams, when you do fuck, shit crime, be smart, guys. Come on, right? Be smart.

[A]

A little bus theft here and there ain't never hurt nobody. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Listen, the one time that not me, but my homies that I was with ever got caught for shoplifting was. I swear to God, we walked out of the store, and we. I mean, we had shoplifted, honey. I mean, we took trips to the car. That's how much we had shoplifted. And we were walking out.

[A]

Why do you keep coming in and out of here? They have made no purchases.

[B]

Girl, we were in the mall just hitting every store, and we walk out of this. I think it was like, Nordstrom. And my homegirl, she goes, you know, I know I'm just getting greedy, but it's just too easy. And as soon as she said easy, we heard, excuse me, miss, can you come back here? And they were just pointing to her. Cause we had. Me and my homie, we got tired. We were like, okay, we've stolen enough. We're done here. She was like, nah, I want not

[A]

getting exhausted with theft. Damn. We working real hard with tired.

[B]

We were just good to go. And that's when I got my first pair of Giuseppe Zanotis.

[A]

Oh, y' all was stealing, stealing, stealing, stealing.

[B]

Yes, girl. And she.

[A]

I thought y' all was getting, like, Lip Chapp and shit. No, you. Designer shoes.

[B]

No, we were getting. We were. I said we were leaving Nordstrom, girl. And she got Fucking. She got arrested, and we had to, like, bail her out of jail. Like, it was A whole fucking thing. And we had.

[A]

Why did she go back? If somebody says, excuse me, and I know I'm stealing, I'm running, just run, right?

[B]

But she just went, you know, I don't know. We were like, young and whatever. But yeah, yeah. So don't get greedy, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

If you're gonna do evil, there's a PSA to white, white, rich white men in America. Just do a little bit of evil. You gotta know how. Manip. Manipulation. That's how manipulation works. It's just gotta be a little. A little bit. A little bit.

[A]

A little bit to people.

[B]

And on that note, what a full circle moment, bitches.

[A]

Y' all keep doing a little bit. Just a little bit of theft.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Just a little. Just a little. Just a little. All right. Stay scheming.

[B]

Thank you so much for being with us for yet another episode of Confessions.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Yeah, you know, make sure you hit us up with some scams. Snitch on your homies. Snitch on your friends.

[A]

@scamgodesspodmail.com you can follow Priscilla at pristhegoddess on all platforms.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And let's TikTok. They're hitting. And as always, D I V A L A C I D V. Scan all platforms. Scam Goddess on platforms if you want to see photos and posts and shit. Love you guys.

[B]

Peace.

[A]

Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Moseley, AKA Scam Goddess. It's produced by Judith Garpo, engineered by Ryan Connor and Abby Aguilar. Our researcher is Kaylynn Brandt. Stay scheming.