
On today’s episode, Laci is joined by stand-up comedian Abby Govindan to dive into the wildest and most ridiculous ways people have been caught smuggling drugs. A recent toupee smuggle struggle led them to the discovery of many more fails that led many folks to jail. You won’t believe how many everyday items can be made from cocaine! Laci and Abby rate their favorite smuggle fails, from dinnerware and high heels to Jesus. Stay schemin'! CON-gregation, catch Laci's new TV Show Scam Goddess, now on Freeform and Hulu! Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Abby Govindan: @abbygovindan Research by Kathryn Doyle SOURCES https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cocaine-toupee-narco-wig/ https://www.npr.org/2019/07/17/742768864/drug-in-a-rug-is-that-a-bag-of-cocaine-under-your-toupee https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jul/16/man-held-in-spain-over-attempt-to-smuggle-cocaine-under-his-wig https://english.elpais.com/elpais/2019/07/16/inenglis...
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Lacy Mosley
Scams, CA Robbery and Fraud Scams, Scam, Robbery and Frau Goddess what's popping Congregation? It's your girl, Lacy Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, back with a podcast all about robbery, fraud and those who practice it. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. We will find out along the way. And y'all already know if you're an OG to the show, that I'm very. What? Yes, Excited, elated, thrilled to have a standup comedian on the show who made her comedic debut at Caroline's on Broadway at the age of 20. She's headlined sold out shows in New York, D.C. san Francisco, and is one of the youngest touring comedians in the country. She's currently touring her show how to Embarrass yous Immigrant Parents. Her show is going strong Tomorrow through Saturday, March 22nd. So get involved. Get those tickets before they're gone. Congregation Please welcome to the show. Abby Govinden.
Abby Govinden
Abby Lacy, I'm so happy to be here. I'm such a longtime fan of the show. This is literally the only podcast that I listen to.
Lacy Mosley
Oh, thank you.
Abby Govinden
And I also, I'm sure a lot of your listeners do this too. I like listen to episodes and then I'll tell the story as if I knew it organically. I'll be like, oh my God, did you hear about this guy who like pretended to be on the, I think it was the CIA's roster. He just like called random companies and he was like, hey, I'm undercover. I need you to put me on your payroll. And he scammed like 3,4 million. It's just, like, cool stories to have in my, like, archival to, like, pull out at a party.
Lacy Mosley
I love that scam that y'all are scamming my show by going to dinner parties and being like, oh, did you hear about this? Sips wine. Oh, you won't believe.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, listen, you're a fellow Texas girl. Like, I remember when I first started listening to the. When I. My first episode that I ever listened to, I was in Frisco, Texas. And then you mentioned being from Frisco, Texas. And I was like, oh, my God, this feels like divine intervention. I love when the Lord leads me straight to another Texas girl. You know?
Lacy Mosley
I love it. We're the best. Now, wait, were you in Frisco on tour or were you there for a wedding?
Abby Govinden
Neither. I have family in Frisco. Yeah, I have so many Indian family members in Frisco because it's India, essentially. So I was telling you about our mutual friend Danny Fernandez, who she told me she grew up in Frisco. I was like, oh, my God, that's so crazy. Like, you grew up in the Indian suburb in Dallas. Big Frisco fan, big Texas fan. I love. I love all the Texas girlies.
Lacy Mosley
Thank you. I love the people. Hate the laws.
Abby Govinden
Yeah. For real.
Lacy Mosley
Fuck you, Greg Abbott. Yeah, true. Just any opportunity. Any opportunity. Oh, my gosh, he's a mess.
Abby Govinden
We're talking about scammers. Greg Abbott, ultimate scammer. Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
Oh, my gosh. Anytime I see him rolling up, I'm like, it's a problem. What is it now? Yeah, that's what is. But we always ask on this show, what is your relationship with scams? I feel like you obviously have this really budding comedy career. You're doing things that nobody was doing at your age. So, you know, you re scammed the old heads. Cause they be in them dark ass bars, like, you know, hoping and praying that they gonna get an audition for like 30 years. So, you know, I think you know a little bit about a hustle. Oh, man.
Abby Govinden
What is my relationship to scams? I just, like, I'm a really trusting person. It's the Southern hospitality. Like, I'm just like, everyone is rooting for me, and I am rooting for everyone. And so I feel like I get scammed pretty easily. So I did this fundraiser for Palestine, and I did it with a mutual aid organization in an unnamed city that I will not mention. And suddenly the girl who was in charge of it started being really weird about the money that we raised. So we did two Events. One, they were in charge of the money. One, I was in charge of the money. And I was going to do the accounting and then send them the money after I accounted for, like, you know, my, like, flight and food and hotel stay. And then suddenly they weren't able to tell me how much money we'd raised from one of the activities. And we had raised significantly more from the second event that we had organized. And I was in charge of that money, and she was demanding that I send it to her. She emailed all the venues in the city, told them that I was running off with the money. Not true.
Lacy Mosley
No.
Abby Govinden
And so I told her, like, I am uncomfortable with your lack of transparency about where the money is going. I'd rather just send the money directly to our friend in PALS and myself. And then she started, you know, like, emailing venues, like emailing contacts, being like, abby Govinden is running off with the money. Abby's a scammer. And I ended up sending the full amount to one of our friends who's fundraising to evacuate Palestine. But then some of my friends and I were doing research on this particular person, and we kind of found out that she has a history of doing these, like, fundraisers for various events and not being very transparent with where the money is going. And I know that mutual aid and organizing and stuff is always very difficult and emotionally taxing. And I never want to take away from the work that people who do that necessary work are doing. But it was just a long history of lack of transparency, currency, a lot of, like, using the buzzwords to fundraise money. And then we also realized that she.
Lacy Mosley
What were the buzzwords?
Abby Govinden
The buzzword? So, like, she had converted to three different religions, and then after converting to those religions, like, fundraise for various causes within those religions. So kind of like Rachel Dahl was all, if I.
Lacy Mosley
If I'm being so honest, Sis was like. Sis was like, zell me. I'm Duala. Yeah.
Abby Govinden
My friend, like, Google searched her name and found this long list of, like, fundraisers that she had done in the past. And my friend was like, you can't just be saying yes to anyone who asks to fundraise. Like, you have to start doing research. You have to, like, put these people's name in Google. And she has at one point been a member of all three major Ibrahimic religions. She's fundraised for causes in all of them. And I was just like, oh, my God. I would be the person to discover, like, another Rachel Dawes. Like, of course that would Happen to me, of all people.
Lacy Mosley
I do get. I think it gets weird when the transparency is lost to you. Like, hey, girl, so what did we get from that? Don't worry about what we made at that. At that fun run. Okay. It was very fun. Everybody ran and.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, exactly.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah, that's all that matters. She was like, well, can we have, like, a, you know, transparent place where we're putting the money? Like, GoFundMe or someplace that people can see. No, no, no, no. You know, GoFundMe gonna take fees. I'm not gonna take fees. So y. You just gotta trust me.
Abby Govinden
But it was really, really scary. I was really terrified of that because she reached out to all these venues, and she was like, abby's a scammer. And I emailed the venues on my own, and I was like, hey, guys, I'm really sorry. I didn't want you to get involved. Here's. Here's receipts of, like, previous fundraisers that I've done, but everyone kind of got back to me, and they were like, hey, sorry that you're going through this. It seems that you are doing this in good faith and you're trying your best to, like, raise money for the right causes. So it was really nice. Like, what I realized is, at the end of the day, if you're professional about the way that you go about things and you carry your. With, like, a degree of confidence in the sense that, like, I'm doing the right thing, that people will trust you. But it took me a while to fundraise after that, and because I was just like, oh, this is something that could be used against me by, like, bad faith actors. If I don't give them the money, they immediately ask for. But, oh, man, it was terrifying. It was so terrifying. And I was like, yeah, I am still privy to scams.
Lacy Mosley
Clearly, she was trying to get you off of her fundraising turf. That's what's getting me. It's like, the venues. What the venue got to do with the. Other than holding the space for the fundraiser. She was like, you never fundraise in this town again. Like, she's like the Godfather of giving. Yeah, she's, like, out here breaking legs before, like, pediatric aids. Like, ma'am, what are you doing? What do you mean? And it's the perfect scam, because people want to give, but they don't necessarily know where to give to. It's hard to aggregate information, and you want to feel like a good person. You also want to help, but it's like, rarely do we donate to Fundraisers and causes and then reach back out to them and be like, okay, did they get the roof? Did they get the food? Can I see a pic of them with the water? Like, we don't do that because it's weird, you know, and, you know, the.
Abby Govinden
Whole experience, even though it was scary to go through it at the time, I'm glad that it made me more accountable because, like, yeah, like, even if. If I raise 2000 and I am only able to account for, like, 1900 of that, that's still $100. That, especially in these, like, developing third world countries, could go, like, so much further. So I'm grateful. Like, after that, I was, like, very serious. Like, I talked to a couple of accountants. I was like, okay, if I ever fundraise money for. For causes like this, I have to really look into who's asking me to help them fundraise and to make sure myself, the money gets there. So I'm grateful because, like, raising money for charitable causes, a very serious thing, and it is so easy to just run off with, like, truly so easy, even accidentally to run off with the money.
Lacy Mosley
I completely am on your side when it comes to that. Especially when you're in a situation where there's a lot of trust put in the place of where the money is going, who is holding onto it, how it's being collected, when it's being distributed, and who it's being distributed to. There's so many avenues that a scammer could hop in to be the middleman there. Whether it be the charity is phony, whether it be the fundraising is being stolen. You know, there's so many entry points for a scammer there to get involved and be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is all going to. What charity did we say this one was this week? The one for the suffering that we. We're sending it all to. The suffering. The suffering, yeah.
Abby Govinden
Sometimes you donate to, like, someone who's asking for Venmo donations for a cause, and you're actually just donating to the cost of their rent and, like, living expenses. And not to say that people who organize don't deserve those kinds of financial.
Lacy Mosley
You know, like, no, you have to be able to pay your rent. You have to, like, charities pay the people.
Abby Govinden
I'm honest about it. Like, that's what. Like, when she was demanding the money but not telling me where it was going, I was like, if you need help, pay rent or, like, paying for, like, groceries, like, I'd rather you tell me that we could. We could do a separate Public fundraiser. I could be like, hey, my organizer friend needs this. But what I was really uncomfortable with was saying that we were fundraising for Palestine and most slash all the money, not going to Palestine. So learned my lesson. What? Like, I don't know. We're all living life for the first time.
Lacy Mosley
That's why I like freelance. Like, fundraising is harder too, because charities tend to have boards where they pay the people who work there. So the money is supposed to go to where it's going. But then you see things like American Red Cross and you're like, okay, well, y'all ain't doing right either, so.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, exactly.
Lacy Mosley
Here we are. Cause every hurricane, that's where people go to first and to the point where we all had to stop being like, donate locally. Go locally. Because you're just giving to a large business.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, exactly.
Lacy Mosley
Okay. You know, I'm glad you got out of that situation, Abby.
Abby Govinden
Me too.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. Now you might. We might wanna think twice the next time you walk next to the American Red Cross. Cause they might have beef with you. I know. Since homegirl called everybody in the city and tried to make up her fabrications. I know. Oh, man. She was like, you stay off my corner.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, literally.
Lacy Mosley
I help people in need over here. Okay, girl. Okay, Mafioso.
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Lacy Mosley
Y'all already know I'm about to talk about my favorite fashion brand and I'm not even playing. I feel like they scam me because I can't stop going over there and buying things. And yes, I'm talking about quints. While luxury is enjoyable, it's not always affordable. That's where quince comes in. In these times where the eggs are $11, we need quince. Quince offers a range of high quality items at prices within reach. And the best part is Quince. All their Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. I recently went back on Quinn's because I wanted to get some more of that. What is it called? Like, quiet luxury. Yes. And the organic cotton cropped cable crew sweaters that I got when I tell you I wear them. And I feel like I'm Diane and I'm walking on a beach in Martha's Vineyard, like, just thinking about my life wistfully. I love it. Give yourself the luxury you deserve with quint. Go to quint.com Goddess for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E.com Goddess to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com Goddess. So let's get into my favorite segment here. Historic Hoodwinks. This is where I regale Abby with a famous con caper group of criminals. Maybe we like them, maybe we don't. But today we're talking about an aspiring drug smuggler who was recently caught trying to hide 222 grams of cocaine under what the police called a narco wig, AKA a toupee. He worked really hard to style. Oh. And he's not the first wig scammer or not the last. Now we're looking at his narco wig. I'm not going to say it's styled gray.
Abby Govinden
Oh, that is hilarious.
Lacy Mosley
First of all, if you're going to have a wig, let's get, like, quality human hair. Like, this is very shake and go synthetic. I don't think he really tried hard enough with the wig. Yeah, I personally would have gone for, like, dreads or like something with more texture. I don't understand how he thought this was going to lay flat when it's just full of balls of coat cocaine. He just thought people had a very bumpy. Literally, I don't. He's like, no, I got. I got a bumpy head. It's a condition.
Abby Govinden
Oh, my God. This is so funny. This is a recent story.
Lacy Mosley
So this happened this year? Oh, wow.
Abby Govinden
You mean when you say this year.
Lacy Mosley
20.
Abby Govinden
25. 25, yeah.
Lacy Mosley
Like, we're looking at a fresh wig. This wig is from a month ago. Wow. And I was already curious when the story started out, saying a aspiring drug smuggler, because I feel like that's something that you just, you know, we all have hopes and aspirations, but I feel like if you have to aspire to it, then it's probably not your skill set. Yeah, no, he had it on his vision board. It was.
Abby Govinden
Some people are good at it, some people are not.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah, he had a brick of cocaine, a wig. Drink more water. Sell cocaine from wig. Like, like, what was your vision board Sir, Because I feel like this is. This wasn't going right for you.
Abby Govinden
You should have gone to. There's like so many hairstylists that could have helped with this.
Lacy Mosley
Now, legally they shouldn't help with this, but I feel like he could have got somebody who put like some kind of bag apparatus in there. Like it.
Abby Govinden
Listen. Yeah. Have you ever been to some of these hair salons, though? Like, they're breaking a lot of laws. Like when they're like, I'll dye your hair for $800, I'm like, someone get the FTC involved. So, like, I'm sure they would have found one hair salon that would have been willing to break an additional law.
Lacy Mosley
Right. To get. To get the n. Yeah. So the drug rug. Columbia Police caught a 40 year old man attempting to smuggle several bags of cocaine onto a flight at Cartagena Airport. Concealed beneath a meticulous attached toupee, he was boarding a flight to Amsterdam, which is the top European city for mdma, used in the top five cities for cocaine use. This unnamed smuggler could have made $10,500 from that one wig alone. Doesn't feel like enough, but okay, it doesn't. From his wig. Ha. If he had made it to Europe, he was going to get some coins. But the airport scanner revealed 222 grams of Coke packaged in small bags strategically hidden on the top of his head. Let's watch the video. The moment the officer wearing blue gloves removed the suspect's wig with scissors, revealing approximately a dozen packets of cocaine. So we have the video of when they caught me.
Abby Govinden
Oh, yes.
Lacy Mosley
I don't know how he thought. Like they pat down if I'm wearing a wig or a weave, they're all in my scalp. Oh my God.
Abby Govinden
His wig is like, it's like bumpy.
Lacy Mosley
I told you, it's bumpy as hell. Wait, can we go back to when he had the wig on? Because the wig didn't look convincing when he had it on. I did not. Oh, my God. Okay, so he at least had the forethought to wear a hat. So he got a hat on. Then the bad wig. Okay, we tried.
Abby Govinden
He tried.
Lacy Mosley
He could just have hat hair, bumpy hat hair.
Abby Govinden
But I would say even before the scanner said anything, if I was working at Columbia and tsa, I'd be like, yeah, that guy definitely has drugs in his wig.
Lacy Mosley
Damn, that is hilarious.
Abby Govinden
He's like so calm. He's. He knows, he knows he's at the end of the line and low key.
Lacy Mosley
He was like balding in the middle. Yeah, yeah, poor guy.
Abby Govinden
Drug dealer and receding hairline. Like, pick a struggle.
Lacy Mosley
If. If I were him, I would have been like, okay, well, after y'all cut the. The cocaine out, can I have my wig back?
Abby Govinden
Yeah, he was just raising money to go to Turkey and get hair implants. Poor guy.
Lacy Mosley
That's what this all was for. Because I'm like, $10,000, that's not enough for me to go to jail. So. This guy did have a prior criminal record, which included two previous drug trafficking convictions. So not only had he done this silly shenanigan, he's tried. That's why he was aspiring, because clearly each time he gets caught. Yeah, I feel like at that point you have to change your dreams, bro. I don't know if a spying criminal is for you. Like, you gotta start maybe be maybe a plumber. They make great money.
Abby Govinden
You keep getting caught. Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
You know, have you thought about being a garbage man? They make excellent money. There's always plenty of openings at call centers.
Abby Govinden
There are jobs that you can break the law and they don't do anything like go work at a hedge fund.
Lacy Mosley
You know, he just jumps from wig smuggling cocaine, wig man to hedge fund to Goldman Sachs.
Abby Govinden
Well, as long as you like. As long as you describe wig smuggling like well enough on your resume, they'll let you get away with anything. When you're like, he's like, I increased shareholder value, but with like, innovative, you.
Lacy Mosley
Know, I take a very personal on hands on head relationship to everyone's money. Okay, so funny. So the other drug rug. In 2019, a 65 year old Colombian man attempted an even bolder toupee sleigh, packing more than one pound of cocaine into a perfectly sealed bag taped to his head. He made it onto the plane in Bogota, but when he got off Barcelona, they were already waiting for him. Like the Spain's national police let that wiggy man come over there, and they were already waiting for him at the Doe.
Abby Govinden
Why would they let him think that's so cruel? They let him think that he got away with it.
Lacy Mosley
And I know he on that plane, like, damn, my head hurt, but at least I made it.
Abby Govinden
Yeah. That is so funny. Wait, Lacey, this must mean that there. There are people who successfully smuggled drugs with their wigs and just weren't caught. Like, if multiple people are trying this.
Lacy Mosley
They would do it with like fake backings on suitcases. They like liquefy the cocaine. So it's hard and it's at the bottom of the suitcase. They come in with it. Like, sewn in the blankets. Like, I. If you watch smugglers, they show you all types of ways people try to get through the airport with their cocaine. Even though he didn't quite make it, his disguise was flawless. So this disguise is better.
Abby Govinden
Oh, my God.
Lacy Mosley
The bag. The back is kind of crazy, though.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
Like how it's like if Kris Jenner got a haircut in the dark. Yeah. Because why does he have this, like, bouffant situation in the back? And this hair is thinning in the front.
Abby Govinden
It's the wig. So the wig is where these people fall short.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. You gotta get more women in your life.
Abby Govinden
There's. There's good money in, like, a wig smuggling business.
Lacy Mosley
It's like the wig is sitting on his head.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
The wig has its own personality. Like, the wig checked its own bags.
Abby Govinden
It's a design flaw. Like, if. If we were to start, like, a wig smuggling business, we wouldn't let it be this obvious.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. Like Jess just said, it looks like he has a bird on his head. A bird's nest, for sure. Like this.
Abby Govinden
So funny.
Lacy Mosley
This is awful. I feel like there's a way to, like, maybe braid the cocaine in or something. I don't know. I feel like we can do better than this, y'all.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
But maybe a lot of people's hair looks like this over there. So they were just like, just another guy. Officers noted that passenger, he, like, he seemed a little nervous. However, that wasn't what most attracted their attention. It was the size and the particular height of his wig. The 500 grams of cocaine on his head was worth more than $34,000. Spain is one of the main European points of entry for Colombian cocaine. Passengers acting as mules are frequently caught trying to smuggle relatively small quantities of drugs through the airport. Immigration. Bogota to Barcelona is considered one of the hottest flights from drug mules. So this. So this is where they're always trying to do it, which to me, it's like, I think you'll have to find a more popping spot that's not as hot. Like, clearly, everybody's gonna get their wig checked at the. At the Columbia airport, because the Columbia airport.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, that's so funny.
Lacy Mosley
So they're frequently caught smuggling, and this is a hot spot. So I'm like, why even do that? Spain has a special police unit that checks hot flights from the main drug trafficking countries. If you're going to try to hide drugs and fake hair, a toupee limits your square footage. But for a ladies wig, the sky is the lim. Okay. Look at women just doing things better.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, I agree. If Bogota is a hotspot, why not drive to, like, a different airport in a different country?
Lacy Mosley
Because I guess that's where they're coming from with the drugs. And I'm like, yeah, you need to make a couple of stops.
Abby Govinden
Yeah. Like Colombia is right next to, like, Peru.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. These one ways aren't working, babes. And I feel like a bad drug wig. If an officer pulls you over, isn't as conspicuous as a wig in tsa because they're going to scan your body.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
Officer's just going to be like writing you a ticket. Mr. Ugly, you should consider. Should consider, do other things with your hair. Yeah. So ladies first in terms of wigs. In 2014, two Portuguese women arrived in Spain's Madrid airport on two separate flights from Sao Paulo, Brazil. They were each carrying more than two pounds of cocaine and under fake intricate hair, which was sewn onto a black plastic cap. So now we're getting the weaves involved. Yes.
Abby Govinden
Oh, wow.
Lacy Mosley
The 18 year old and 28 year old were arrested by Spanish police and accused of a crime against public health. Here's the video of their wigs being snatched by the police. Not the wig snatcher. No, no. Okay, this wig is a good smuggling wig.
Abby Govinden
That is. It's.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah, it's curly. It's got volume. And then, okay, she got a wig cap on, and the wig cap has all the cocaine in it. So now they cutting the wig cap off. No.
Abby Govinden
What do you even do at this point? Like, you just sit there and let them do that?
Lacy Mosley
Yeah.
Abby Govinden
I guess you have another option.
Lacy Mosley
So they have to unbraid her weave because I guess the cocaine is hidden. Yeah, she braided the coke into her.
Abby Govinden
See, this is a woman who's serious about drug trafficking. She makes those other men look like rookies.
Lacy Mosley
She really does, because she went through the trouble. It's like with the men, they were like, okay, I put a bag of cocaine on my head. I put on a bad wig. Done.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
The women were like, okay, I'm gonna sew my real hair down, and then we gonna slide the cocaine in through there. And then I'm gonna wear a thick enough wig. Like, even the extraction process of them getting out the cocaine here is way more complicated than it was for the men. The men, they literally just popped their wigs off and all the cocaine and white bags was just right there.
Abby Govinden
Yeah. And look, the girls have an extra, like 30 minutes now while they're extracting to, like, gaslight. The TSA agents to be like, like, see, I told you I don't know what you're talking about.
Lacy Mosley
I would have been like, I just got a new weave. I didn't know they put cocaine in there. It did feel like it took a long time.
Abby Govinden
That is so funny.
Lacy Mosley
It was kind of heavy.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
There's some plausible diability here. I'd be like, my hair stylist is a smuggler, cuz clearly I didn't braid this on my own.
Abby Govinden
That's so funny.
Lacy Mosley
Y'all want me to call her? So police said this new smuggling method was very difficult given the realism of the fake hair. The packages were perfectly adhered and did not stick out from under the wig, which made the narcotics imperceptible. A strong wig game isn't the only way to try to hide drugs at the airport. It seems like it's not a good way because y'all do keep catching these girls with the, you know, cocaine curls.
Abby Govinden
It means that so many more weren't caught. Like, if it's a. If it's a tried and true method that multiple people are trying.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah, people are getting away with it. Somebody got away with that coke in their hair.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, people are for sure getting away with it.
Lacy Mosley
So the drug Bust, also in 2014, a Venezuelan woman was arrested at a Madrid airport with almost four pounds of cocaine hidden in her. In her hair. Breast implants.
Abby Govinden
Oh, my God. How do they even know? How do they even figure that out?
Lacy Mosley
I'm sorry, I'm not cutting open my chest.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
For no smuggling and whatever doctor did this. We know that they're not. Oh my gosh. It's in the implant.
Abby Govinden
No. That's so dangerous. Because if the implant like pops or something. Oh my God.
Lacy Mosley
Then it kills you. It's like when they were putting it up their butts. The balloons up the butt? Yeah.
Abby Govinden
Wow. These are serious. These people are serious about their bag. That's crazy.
Lacy Mosley
Nothing's worth that because you're telling me even if I get through with my titties, then I have to go to some other bootleg doctor to have him take it out.
Abby Govinden
Oh my God.
Lacy Mosley
So police said the gestures and behavior of a supposed tourist raised suspicions on the necrotics agents. But they didn't find anything in her bags. Female officers conducted a body search of the 43 year old woman and discovered certain irregularities and deformations in both breasts. I would just been like, I got a bad boob job. But I also feel like somebody being like, your tits are bad.
Abby Govinden
That's crazy.
Lacy Mosley
That's. That Hurts. That hurts. They're like, your tits are oblong. And now we gotta take it to the big house. Damn. What if they had just been her titties? I would feel crazy if they were like, no, those are weird titties. I know. We gotta inspect her further cuz I ain't never seen bazanga, so.
Abby Govinden
Oh, it's illegal to have irregular boobs now, right?
Lacy Mosley
No, they were like, these aren't the boobs that we see coming through this airport. Tsa, Caesar. So at that moment, the suspect started to act nervously and confessed that she was carrying implants with cocaine inside. I'm sorry. At that point, I gotta ride it out.
Abby Govinden
I know you're so close.
Lacy Mosley
And confessed. I'm not gonna tell you.
Abby Govinden
They weren't even on your. Like, they were just like, hey, your boobs are kind of weird. And she was like, sorry, I have cocaine in them. Instead of being like, yeah, it's the.
Lacy Mosley
Cocaine in my boobs.
Abby Govinden
Are you body shaming me right now?
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. I would have been like, my mama come from a whole family of weird boobs.
Abby Govinden
It's genetic. That's so funny.
Lacy Mosley
I know. It's so sad, though. The woman was taken to a hospital where the implants were removed and found to contain 1.7 kilos or 3.75 pounds of cocaine.
Abby Govinden
Wow.
Lacy Mosley
I'm like, are y'all gonna hook my titties back up though? Because now I feel like they're just gonna be deflated. Yeah, without. Without the cocaine in them. Can y'all throw some saline in here or something? Like, don't leave now. I really do have weird boobs.
Abby Govinden
I cannot believe they noted that her breasts were weird shaped like.
Lacy Mosley
That's just.
Abby Govinden
That just feels unnecessary, right? Like, what if she'd been like, wait, the cocaine's in my carry on? What are you talking about?
Lacy Mosley
Right? They're like, ma'am, your butt looks really weird. We're gonna have to take you downtown. I'd be like, I just got a butt lift. It don't look good. I put my faja on and they're like, no, ma'am. Bring that weird ass booty downtown. We know what's in there. It's drugs. Two years earlier, a woman from Panama arrived on the hot flight from Bogota to Barcelona and was found with 1.4 kilos of cocaine in her fake breast. So they. They did it again. When the 20 year old was stopped for a search at Barcelona's international airport, police noted that she had gauze under her breasts. She said she had just had plastic surgery two months before, but the wounds were open and she was. Was still bleeding. She was taken to the hospital where the cocaine bags were removed. And there was about $80,000 worth of cocaine, street value, in her breast implants.
Abby Govinden
I just, like, don't ever. I've never wanted money that badly that I'm like, yeah, I cut open my chest.
Lacy Mosley
Like, my whole safety. Like, I. I'm gonna die or I'm gonna make 80 grand if. If they don't steal it from me.
Abby Govinden
I do love that she was, like, actively bleeding and she was like, yeah. These are from two months ago, though.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah, they just draining, like, ma'am, the blood is dripping down through your shoe. And I'm like, they just draining. Can I get on my flight?
Abby Govinden
That's just how it is. So what is the proper, like, boob job schedule for if you're trying to traffic drugs? Like, how long are you supposed to, like, get the surgery in advance?
Lacy Mosley
I think you gotta heal up a bit because this is given. Like, she hopped off the table and hopped into the car to go to tsa.
Abby Govinden
Yeah. Wow.
Lacy Mosley
Like, this is so sad, but also, like, y'all are very unserious. What are you doing? Oh, no. We predicted this butt packing.
Abby Govinden
No.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. Not just for little Nas X. It's also for cocaine.
Abby Govinden
It's also for cocaine.
Lacy Mosley
Usually when a drug smuggler is hiding it, like cargo, it goes up the butt. That's called body packing. And it's obviously what most people think of, like, when you're smuggling drugs to a secret location. In 2018, a Brazilian man took a more creative approach to the same idea. I don't know what could be more creative than putting drugs in your butt, but I'm listening. Police in Portugal detained him at Lisbons International Airport carrying 2.2 pounds of cocaine in a fake buttocks. We. We called it. Oh.
Abby Govinden
But it wasn't. It wasn't, like, surgically implanted.
Lacy Mosley
It was just like, nah, it looks like butt pads.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, it was just like, one of those things you could buy on TikTok.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah.
Abby Govinden
Okay. He didn't want it badly enough.
Lacy Mosley
He didn't. He was like, come here, thicky thick. You're going to jail. So I'm like, just get a. Like a fake bb. If you're gonna do a fake bbl, at least make sure it looks smooth. Also, you're a man. So, like, unless you're of a heavier size, like, we're gonna be like, okay, Santana, let's see those cheeks.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
Because. What is this? So other ways to not smuggle cocaine. Now we don't want you to smuggle cocaine on this show. I don't think it's good.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
So let's explore some other ways people have tried to sneak cocaine over the border. Soap. A 91 year old devout Christian with a penchant for tweed suits is believed to have become the oldest person to be charged with drug drug trafficking after he was duped into importing almost 11 pounds of cocaine from India to Australia disguised as bars of decorative soap.
Abby Govinden
That's funny. That's really funny.
Lacy Mosley
He was duped. Yeah.
Abby Govinden
I'm like, do you think he was actually duped or do you think that was just like the, the defense's lawyer talking?
Lacy Mosley
The soap looks nice. And he's 91. Sometimes they do have drug mules who like don't know that they're carrying drugs.
Abby Govinden
Oh yeah, that's that worst nightmare.
Lacy Mosley
Truly. I always think of that one movie. Where are they in the Taiwanese prison. It's this movie where these two white women were going to Thailand and one was like kind of bad and the other one was a nice girl and the bad one like tricked her into smuggling cocaine because she did or some kind of drug and she didn't know that she was smuggling it. So when they got caught, thought they then they had to go to like horrible jail. Was it called Broke Down Palace? Yeah, it's called Broke Down Palace. It's like my worst nightmare. It's like a fear that I think about all the time. I'm like. Because it's like that prison was wild. They were outside beating them with sticks and stuff and it's like, damn, I'm just trying to go on vacation.
Abby Govinden
So yeah, like actually you're saying that's your worst nightmare. Like actually though it's like possible like to get framed for something that you. Because now they, they have like they have everything they need. Like if they just planted your thumbprint and a hair strand.
Lacy Mosley
Wow, thank you so much. New fear unlocked. Well, if they plant these hair strands they gonna be talking to somebody in Brazil. So good on that one. Good on that one. Look, I'm so sorry to that Brazilian lady and her and her 1B 22 inch. So bad. So sorry. Robbery.
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Lacy Mosley
Okay, we've gotten past January New Year, new me, a lot of us have gone back to old me New Year. That's okay. There's still time to optimize your nutrition with Factor. Factor has Chef made gourmet meals that make eating well super easy and ready to heat and eat in two minutes so you can feel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you. And life has been throwing hands at me and I do not have time to cook and I definitely don't have time to wash a pot or a pan. Personally, I love the chicken with the zoodles. I love a zoodle. I love zoodles so much that I went out and bought a Zoodler peeler, you know, to do it. And then I was like, I'm tired. I'll just get factor meals and then I can still have them. Okay. Reach your goals this year. Okay. Eat smart with Factor. Get started at FactorMeals.com Factor podcast and use code FactorPodcast to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's Code Factorpodcast@factormeals.com Factor podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. So here's another one. A Chilean man with a broken leg was arrested in Barcelona airport after his cast was found to be made of cocaine, not plastic. So he just had a hardened cocaine cast?
Abby Govinden
How would they even know that it was hardened cocaine?
Lacy Mosley
Maybe it didn't look like enough cast. He should have people sign it get well soon had.
Abby Govinden
Maybe he just kept hitting it. Like they were like, hey, why do you keep rubbing your cast and putting it on your gums? Is there a reason for that?
Lacy Mosley
Every time you hit your cast, something goes. Rubbing your cast, putting on your gums is crazy. And I do see, like they use this liquid and if it turns like teal, that means that it's cocaine. But the thing is, it's like, why not just wrap it up in more gauze? Like the whole thing is cocaine. Yeah, I mean, it was a nice try.
Abby Govinden
So his leg was actually broken, but he was like double timing. Like, he was like, if I have a broken leg anyways, might as well make some money off of it.
Lacy Mosley
It. Yeah, yeah.
Abby Govinden
That's hilarious. See, the business Acumen. Like, the thing with your show, Lacy, is I'm always kind of rooting for the people that you talk about.
Lacy Mosley
I know. As long as they're not hurting people.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
Like, I. I understand. And he.
Abby Govinden
If I broke my leg tomorrow, I'd be like, damn, I should rest for a month. It would just not occur. How do I make money off of this?
Lacy Mosley
You would be like, I should smuggle drugs. I broke my arm. And now the next logical step is smuggling drugs.
Abby Govinden
Smuggling is drug smuggling.
Lacy Mosley
I don't know. Everyone thinks that. Right? So suitcase. This one's pretty common. A woman tried to fly from Chile to Spain with two suitcases that were made out of cocaine. The drug was not hidden in the luggage this time. The suitcases were the drug, according to a Chilean detective who caught her. Right, let's go next, shoes, Shoes, shoes. For those who know Manolo Blahnik shoes made out of cocaine were discovered in northern Spain as traffickers attempt to smuggle the drug into the country from Colombia. Shaped as the famous shoe. That's like the Carrie Bradshaw shoe from Sex and the City. That is a very famous Manolo.
Abby Govinden
Yeah. Also, I guess I just didn't know cocaine was that sturdy. Like, I would expect it to, like, crumble.
Lacy Mosley
No, I think there's like, liquid cocaine or you can, like, make. You can manipulate it to make it hard. Yeah, that's. People have been doing that. So Spanish. Spanish police seized dozens of pallets made out of compressed cocaine that was made to look like wood. So that is also cocaine. Who knew?
Abby Govinden
That's cocaine. Oh, wow.
Lacy Mosley
How creative you could get with cocaine. Who knew?
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
Dinnerware. Yeah. That fork, it got you real excited because it was cocaine. Spanish police also delivered a 42 pack piece crockery set made entirely of compressed cocaine. 45 pounds of the drug were sculpted into cheerful sets of plates, cups, pots and saucers painted blue and decorated with sunflowers. Look at that.
Abby Govinden
Wow.
Lacy Mosley
All cocaine.
Abby Govinden
All cocaine.
Lacy Mosley
Your granny thought she was about to get a new dish to put in her charger. No.
Abby Govinden
I was about to say, like, if I was gifted one of those bowls, I'd be like, yeah. Every time I eat out of this one particular bowl, I'm just, like, a lot more energetic and happy about life. That's so crazy.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. I love to put all my fruit in this bowl because fruit really gives me energy, and so I just love to have a bite of an apple and I'm like, whoa. Yes. Just love this bowl.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
Plastic CDs and DVD cases. We're still going. Evidence From a secret lab in eastern Europe suggests the gangs are trying to hide cocaine by incorporating it into a host of innocent looking transplant plastic products like fish tanks, DVD cases, or lights fitting for cars. You could drive your cocaine. Investigators found the abandoned plastic lab an apartment building in Slovenia. So they don't know where them CD cases and I guess they got out of dodge fast enough. So your CDs are cocaine now in your car. Lights. Jesus. Okay. Customs officials in the US seized a statue of Jesus Christ himself made from plaster mixed with cocaine. Drug sniffing dogs at the border crossing in laredo, Texas, picked up on the smell of narcotics. And the six pound statue was in the trunk of a car about to be driven by a Mexican woman into the United States.
Abby Govinden
Did she know or was she like a mule?
Lacy Mosley
I'm not sure. I mean, it looks like border police arrested a man of offering the woman to $80 to carry the statue to a bus station in downtown Laredo. So she was roped in by $80 and she had no idea that his suits. Oh, girl, you know?
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
She ain't know Jesus was on that white girl.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
So she was supposed to deliver it to a contact only known as larana, or the spider. The woman escaped back to Mexico. I'm glad she escaped back to Mexico because that's not fair. She literally was like, I'm doing the lord's work.
Abby Govinden
Yes, yes, me too.
Lacy Mosley
Little did she know, she was a mule for the devil. Well, I do have to ask, ask you before we go, what would you rank these? Like who, Which. Which ones were the most impressive to the least.
Abby Govinden
I have to say I'm most impressed by the ladies who got breast implants with coke. Because that's just like a type of business acumen I could never hope to possess. Second most impressed by the guy with the cast because his leg was really broken.
Lacy Mosley
Right. I like the cast man too. Cause he's like, this is a two for one. I'm smuggling also. I'm healing. Yeah, I like the cast. I can't get with the breast implant ladies, because you're putting your body on the line for real. And then like, what if they put you back on the table and they take out your cocaine titties and they don't give you regular titties or they run away with your cocaine titties and you wake up and you just flat with no cocaine money or titties. Yeah, too risky.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, yeah. Or like I would have to say if I had to rank the lowest, it's the butt pad guy. I'M like, you don't want it enough?
Lacy Mosley
No, he didn't want it at all. It. Like, the pads look so lumpy. Like, you. It really could have worked, but the execution was terrible. The execution is a no.
Abby Govinden
The Jesus statue thing is really funny, but I don't like that someone tried to rope in, like, a random, innocent Mexican lady to their shenanigans. Like, if you're going to go down, go down like a. Like a real drug dealer, you know?
Lacy Mosley
And you gave her. You were giving her $80 when you know she was gonna face federal prison.
Abby Govinden
Yeah. I'm glad that she. Although it would have been. It would have been suspicious if it was more. If they were like, could you transport this Jesus statue for $10,000? Like, she would have been like, right. But I'm glad she escaped. How do you deplaster cocaine? Like, won't that cocaine always have a little bit of plaster in it and, like, paper?
Lacy Mosley
I mean, microplastics are in everything. And I'm sure if you're doing cocaine, you're not like, is this GMO free? Are there microplastics before I. Before I. Is it. Okay, inhale? Is it sustainable? Yeah, just like usda.
Abby Govinden
That is what it's like living in Brooklyn. Like, everyone's vegan, but they do cocaine. As if that's not a very unethical line.
Lacy Mosley
That's California, too. It's like, oh, no, I don't touch GMOs, and I certainly only do organic. But, yeah, pass me that bump. For sure.
Abby Govinden
Yeah.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. So I would have to rank, like, Booty pad man is the last, because what were you doing? I'm gonna have to say second to last is cocaine wig man that had all the bunch, like, his head was standing up.
Abby Govinden
He didn't want it badly enough. I'm telling you, you have to style the wig.
Lacy Mosley
He did not want it badly enough at all. Like, he really thought he was gonna go through the airport looking like that. Like, that is like a cartoon villain. I feel like I'm watching someone who put on a fake disguise, like, creep with their hands out, like, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. What the fuck were you? Terrible. Boo. Boo to this man. Boo this man. Let's see here. Palettes, I think. Very innovative. It did look like wood. That's going to be a favorite for me.
Abby Govinden
Yeah. Also the shoes. I do. The shoes are cunty. And unfortunately, that's how I would go down. Like, someone would come up to me and be like, hey, do you want this free pair of Manolos And I'd be like, yes, oh my God, God loves me. And then I'd get get charged with federal drug trafficking.
Lacy Mosley
Especially because these, the iconic Manolos that in the Sex and the City movie, like Carrie leaves them in their like pre war apartment that they were going to live together before he left her at the altar. Why is the lore so deep in my head? But then she goes back for the shoes and he's there and then he puts one on her foot and is like, will you marry me? And they go to the courthouse anyway. That's that Manolo. But I will say like, the only knock I'm going to give them with the shoes is like, why not make a shoe that isn't as like, like expensive? Because you know, people in tsa, like, yeah, there's a lot of people who work there who are doing their jobs and are super haters and want to like, make sure you don't transport anything. But you know, it's some people who are like, oh, Manolo's. Oh, and they're my size.
Abby Govinden
Like, let me take an extra look at these.
Lacy Mosley
Right. Let me see if there's something wrong.
Abby Govinden
No one's doing that with the like JCPenney heels. Those are the ones I own.
Lacy Mosley
Like you could easily get through with something a little more off brand ap something. Not. Not this. I'm looking at a Manolo real horn, super hard. That is so funny. Dinnerware. Dinnerware is fun to me.
Abby Govinden
That is cool. I did like that.
Lacy Mosley
I like that they took the time to decorate the dinnerware. It's very ugly, but you know, somebody might like it. But it's like blue with these sunflowers and like, at least they tried to make a matching set with it. It's not for me, but I would have let it go. Dinnerware is fun.
Abby Govinden
Yeah. Well, the problem with nice dinnerware is again, like I, I kind of appreciate the hustle of trying to make it u. The TSA agent is like ill.
Lacy Mosley
Right.
Abby Govinden
But it backfired, unfortunately.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. Cuz now it's like why you need to transport all this ugly ass dinnerware? You can get this in America. Yeah, they, you know, they should have aged it a little bit because if it's ugly but it's vintage, then you're like, oh, okay, I get it. But brand new and ugly.
Abby Govinden
It's a family heirloom.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. You could get that in the States. Plastic CD and DVD cases. I'm gonna have to ding this one. Just because even though y'all clearly got away with it, who has CDs anymore.
Abby Govinden
No one. No one. They gotta start making cocaine ipods.
Lacy Mosley
Right? Do we do even have ipods anymore? They gotta go for the iPhone.
Abby Govinden
Yeah, exactly. Cocaine, iPads and laptops.
Lacy Mosley
Right. The coke pad. Okay. Jesus. I think is fun, but I don't like that they tricked that lady. So, you know, that's where we stand on that. Suitcases, I always think are great because y'all are really crafting. Y'all are doing craftsmanship. And I don't think they're catching all the suitcases. I think it depends on the airport. And then the soap. I low key feel like with the soap. Can we look at the soap again? That soap kind of looks like if I was old, I would get that and give it to my grandchildren. Like I went on vacation and I got y'all all these soaps.
Abby Govinden
Like, so as far as victims go, the 91 year old man is like on the better end because it's like, okay, this guy's lived a full life, right?
Lacy Mosley
But also perhaps he was involved in it. Just because no one's gonna be as suspicious of a 91 year old man in the airport smuggling drugs. Like, that's not. They like to use women, young women, older people, because they're thinking no one's going to look at them twice. Yeah, yeah. So maybe he knew that soap was going to get you high.
Abby Govinden
That's so funny.
Lacy Mosley
I never know. Thank you so much for being on the show today, Abby. This was super fun. Let me know if you ever need a wig. It'll just be a normal wig that I will need you to take to Columbia on your head.
Abby Govinden
I will drug smuggle for you any day. Just if not, if you ever run out of things to talk about on this podcast, just give me a call. Be like, hey, I need you to wear a wig to Colombia.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah, we'll both wear wigs to Colombia. No one will be the wiser. And I think, I think, I think we'll really get it down. Yes, yes.
Abby Govinden
Thank you for having me.
Lacy Mosley
Oh, my God, thank you for being here.
Abby Govinden
Doing this podcast has always been a dream of mine.
Lacy Mosley
Yeah. Such a good time.
Abby Govinden
I love supporting fellow Texas girlies and I am so excited for this episode to come out.
Lacy Mosley
Oh, my God, yes. And okay, we always ask at the end of this podcast, where would you like to be found? So anything you're promoting, social media, the places you want people to find you.
Abby Govinden
Where would you like to be found? You know, that's crazy. When you asked that question, my, my mind immediately went to like, Body like, is like, if you were to die, where would you like to be found? And I was like, oh, I haven't given up.
Lacy Mosley
You're not the only one. Nathan Kress immediately was like, la Brea Tar Pits. I was like, first of all, you said that too fast. Second of all, that was not the question.
Abby Govinden
Oh, my God.
Lacy Mosley
I'm not gonna kill you.
Abby Govinden
No, no. Where would I like to be?
Lacy Mosley
Okay.
Abby Govinden
Okay. So I'm on Instagram. That's the one I use the most. I'm on Twitter. Against my own better judgment. I'm on TikTok. Against my own better judgment, same. I'm on YouTube, but Instagram is my favorite one to use. Yeah, my solo show is going off Broadway in New York City, as you mentioned earlier. I'm really proud of it. It's the story of how I told my parents I wanted to be a standup comedian, how our relationship fell apart because of it, and how we built our relationship back up together after my brief stint in a ment. A suicide attempt. And the story is how my parents rallied around me after the suicide attempt and how they didn't grant me a lot of empathy when I told them I wanted to be a stand up comedian. But I realized I didn't grant them a lot of empathy when they weren't supportive of my career initially because they grew up in a completely different culture than I grew up in. So it's a lot of both sides learning how to reflect and learning how to understand one another better. And, you know, I set out when I first started doing the show almost three years ago. I set out to kind of change the conversation around immigrant parents and parents and mental health and how we initiate those conversations and how we have those conversations. And now it feels like this Off Broadway show is the culmination of, like, three years of hard work. It's being presented by Hasan Minhaj. It's being produced by Daniel Sloss. Two comedians who, like, had a humongous impact on me because they're storytelling standup comedians. And so everything just feels so full circle. And this moment feels full circle, actually, because you got me through the pandemic. So I'm like, oh, thank you. I'm so grateful to be here. And I'm so grateful that I get to take the story that I'm so passionate about and share it with an even larger audience. So thank you so much for having me. I hope people in the congregation who live in New York City will come out to my Off Broadway show this week.
Lacy Mosley
Yes. Pull up to Abby's show this week. I know it's going to be a great time, and I'm really proud of you. That sounds like a very exciting story that I'm sure a lot of people will love to hear and can relate to and then also laugh about a little bit, because how else are we going to get through it if we're not laughing, honey?
Abby Govinden
Yeah. Truly.
Lacy Mosley
Yes. Well, Congregation, you can find me at D I V A L A C I Diva Lacy on all platforms if you want to snitch on your friends, family, and your enemies. Scam goddess podmail.com congregation, my book Scam Goddess is out everywhere, online and in bookstores. If you haven't seen my show, Scam Goddess, it is also streaming on Hulu and so is Going Dutch, another show that I have on Hulu that is also airing on Fox with Dennis Leary and Danny Pudi and Taylor Mishak and just like some of the funniest people you've ever seen in your life. So tune into my things.
Abby Govinden
Wait. That's so cool. What is Danny Pudding like in real life? I've been a fan of his since. Since Community.
Lacy Mosley
He's perfect.
Abby Govinden
He's Indian royalty.
Lacy Mosley
Like, no, literally just royalty. Indian royalty, but royalty, period. To the point where I had a joke on some that I was like, I have to start spreading rumors about Danny Pudi because he's so perfect. Like, he can't be this perfect.
Abby Govinden
What's the first rumor? We'll start it right now.
Lacy Mosley
Oh, my goodness. I'm not going to say them on this podcast just because this is a larger audience. But I'd say I'll tell you when we log off. But on set, we had some very fun rumors that were absolutely untrue that we would talk about, like, to his face, but, like, it was just a running because he's such a great guy. But yes, Congregation, I want y'all to get out and stay smuggling, but maybe get a better wig or cast or the wing or Jesus statue or booty. Get a better booty. Get a better booty in the gym. Okay. Not in the. Yeah. Not in the airport. Okay. We love y'all. Stay skibid. Scam. Gotta. This has been an Airwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros, and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming. This season, a new hot deal has arrived at Metro. $25 a line for four lines.
Abby Govinden
With all the data you need and.
Lacy Mosley
Four free Samsung Galaxy A15.5G phones, getting.
Abby Govinden
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Lacy Mosley
No ID required, no activation fees. Get a new number or keep your own. It's up to you. That's four lines for $25 a line, plus four free phones. Visit a store or go online today.
Abby Govinden
Only at Metro by T Mobile when you join Metro plus tax for a.
Lacy Mosley
Limited time and subject to change max one offer per account.
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Scam Goddess Podcast Episode Summary: "Smugglers & Strugglers" featuring Abby Govindan
Podcast Information:
The episode kicks off with Laci Mosley welcoming her audience, affectionately referred to as the "Congregation," and introducing her guest, Abby Govindan, a rising star in the stand-up comedy scene. Laci highlights Abby's impressive career trajectory, noting her performances across major cities and her current tour featuring the show "How to Embarrass Your Immigrant Parents."
Laci Mosley [00:48]: "Scam Goddess what's popping Congregation? It's your girl, Lacy Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, back with a podcast all about robbery, fraud and those who practice it."
Abby Govindan [01:55]: "Abby Lacy, I'm so happy to be here. I'm such a longtime fan of the show. This is literally the only podcast that I listen to."
Abby shares a harrowing personal experience involving a mutual aid organization she collaborated with to fundraise for Palestine. The fundraiser was compromised by an individual who deceitfully redirected the raised funds, leading to confusion and accusations against Abby.
Abby Govindan [04:17]: "I did this fundraiser for Palestine, and I did it with a mutual aid organization... suddenly the girl who was in charge of it started being really weird about the money we raised."
She explains how the scammer manipulated the situation by contacting venues and falsely accusing her of embezzlement, forcing Abby to proactively assure contacts of her integrity.
Abby Govindan [07:28]: "She emailed all the venues in the city, told them that Abby Govinden is running off with the money. Abby's a scammer."
This ordeal not only strained her trust but also taught her valuable lessons about due diligence and accountability in charitable endeavors.
Abby Govindan [09:36]: "Whole experience, even though it was scary to go through it at the time, I'm glad that it made me more accountable."
Transitioning into the segment titled "Historic Hoodwinks," Laci delves into various unconventional and often humorous methods individuals have employed to smuggle cocaine. The discussion is lighthearted, infused with the hosts' comedic chemistry.
Laci recounts the story of a 40-year-old Colombian man caught attempting to smuggle 222 grams of cocaine concealed within a toupee at Cartagena Airport.
Laci Mosley [14:58]: "An aspiring drug smuggler who was recently caught trying to hide 222 grams of cocaine under what the police called a narco wig, AKA a toupee."
Abby critiques the practicality of such a disguise, pointing out its conspicuousness.
Abby Govindan [16:00]: "You should have gone to... there's like so many hairstylists that could have helped with this."
The conversation shifts to women who incorporated cocaine into their breast implants, highlighting the audacity and risks involved.
Laci Mosley [26:16]: "In 2014, a Venezuelan woman was arrested at Madrid airport with almost four pounds of cocaine hidden in her breast implants."
Abby jokes about the implications of having drug-laden implants, blending humor with incredulity.
Abby Govindan [28:11]: "They were like, these aren't the boobs that we see coming through this airport. TSA, Caesar."
Further exploring inventive methods, the hosts discuss individuals who attempted to smuggle cocaine through broken leg casts and high-end shoes like Manolo Blahniks.
Laci Mosley [35:57]: "A Chilean man with a broken leg was arrested in Barcelona airport after his cast was found to be made of cocaine, not plastic."
Abby Govindan [37:55]: "But also perhaps he was involved in it. Just because no one's gonna be as suspicious of a 91-year-old man in the airport smuggling drugs."
Towards the episode's conclusion, Laci and Abby engage in a playful ranking of the discussed smuggling methods based on creativity and execution.
Top Performer: Women using breast implants to hide large quantities of cocaine, due to the intricate concealment method.
Abby Govindan [41:02]: "I'm most impressed by the ladies who got breast implants with coke. Because that's just like a type of business acumen I could never hope to possess."
Second Place: Individuals smuggling cocaine through casts from medical injuries.
Laci Mosley [41:18]: "I like the cast man too. Cause he's like, this is a two for one. I'm smuggling also. I'm healing."
Lowest Rank: Men using butt pads to conceal drugs, criticized for poor execution and lack of dedication.
Abby Govindan [41:46]: "I would have to say if I had to rank the lowest, it's the butt pad guy. I'M like, you don't want it enough?"
Abby takes time to spotlight her stand-up journey, discussing her upcoming Off-Broadway show that delves into her personal struggles with her immigrant parents and mental health. She emphasizes the cultural and emotional bridging her performance aims to achieve.
Abby Govindan [48:13]: "I'm on Instagram. That's the one I use the most... my solo show is going Off Broadway in New York City... it's the story of how I told my parents I wanted to be a standup comedian..."
Laci expresses her support and enthusiasm for Abby's endeavors, highlighting the show's potential impact.
Laci Mosley [50:26]: "Pull up to Abby's show this week. I know it's going to be a great time, and I'm really proud of you."
The episode wraps up with promotional segments, highlighting Abe's show, podcast details, and upcoming content. Laci encourages listeners to engage with both her and Abby's projects, fostering a community centered around humor and the lighter side of scams.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Key Takeaways:
Final Note: "Smugglers & Strugglers" offers a blend of personal storytelling, comedic insights, and real-world scam analysis, making it a compelling listen for those interested in the lighter side of fraud and the resilience of individuals navigating deceptive practices.