The Black Space Hitler (Yep!) with Arden Myrin

Summary

Scam Goddess: The Black Space Hitler (Yep!)
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Arden Myrin
Release Date: September 22, 2020

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Episode Overview

In this comedic and lively episode, Laci Mosley welcomes comedian and actress Arden Myrin to discuss family scams, wild upbringings, regional quirks, and the jaw-dropping historical case of William Henry Johnson: a Black man who scammed Nazis by pretending to be Hitler and planning an interstellar revolt. The episode blends personal stories, listener-submitted scams, and a deep dive into one of history’s most bonkers cons—told with sharp wit and rich commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Arden’s Background and Book: “Little Miss Little Compton”

(00:00 – 07:42)

• Laci introduces Arden with infectious enthusiasm, highlighting her comedic career and new memoir.
• Arden explains the origin of her book title, clarifying she’s not from Compton, CA, but Little Compton, RI—a "tiny, white, wild" town.
• Notable Moment: The big criminal in town was a crow named Poe that was literally put under house arrest for mail theft.

Quote:
“It has a general store. The big criminal in town is a crow named Poe who was stealing people’s mail.”
—Arden (01:38)

• Arden shares wild family stories, including how both sets of parents/grandparents married via scams—her grandmother thought her grandpa was rich, her mom married on a dare for an extra work vacation and refused to annul the marriage, leading to a (genuine) 50-year marriage.

Quote:
“He thought he was the scammer... She called his bluff. It felt like the ultimate game.”
—Arden (05:24)

• Arden reveals behind-the-scenes career tales, like accidently kicking Courteney Cox on "Friends", and being yelled at by Debbie Allen on set:
  “If you get to be screamed at by a Black queen, like, you know you’ve really made it.”
  —Laci (07:15)
  “I felt like Dorothy clicking her heels, like I’d made it to Oz.”
  —Arden (07:42)

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2. Listener Letter: The Beer Can Return Scam

(08:02 – 15:22)

• Laci and Arden read a scam story submitted by "Tina" (pseudonym):
  • Tina’s mother orchestrated raids on frat houses with her 7-year-old to collect beer cans, drove them across state lines to Michigan for 10-cent returns, and cashed in undisturbed by grocery clerks.
  • Ingenious can crushing strategies, candy splurges, and the wild, smelly logistics of hauling bags of warm, old beer cans.
• Both hosts reflect on unsupervised childhoods, wild moms, and regional quirks, riffing on parental anxiety and the joys of "barefoot childhood existence."

Quote:
“She sent the kids off on they mission. Y’all doing community service and cheering. She would get digged down, then they would drive back and make money.”
—Laci (12:37)

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3. Comedic “Regional” Digressions

(15:22 – 20:41)

• Laci and Arden bond over regional stand-up comedy, quirky Texas lawyers ("The Hammer"), and the ease with which their accents and personas morph depending on location—from southern to Miami to Boston.
• Lively discussion about how adapting to regions is part of being a performer.

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4. Historic Hoodwink: William Henry Johnson, the “Black Space Hitler” Scam

(21:18 – 57:04)

Introduction to the Scam

• William Henry Johnson, a Kentucky miner and Baptist preacher, spent a decade scamming Nazi sympathizers and German expatriates by claiming to be Hitler in hiding, orchestrating a space-based Nazi revolt.

Quote:
“I have no sympathy for anybody who is, like, fucked up and evil and racist getting robbed. I’m like, yes, please, steal these people!”
—Laci (21:41)

The Execution

• Under aliases like “Furrier Number One,” “Eva Hitler,” and “Chief of Staff,” Johnson wrote hundreds of letters (often with misspellings and wild tales), claiming Hitler had survived 1945 and needed financial support for a secret Nazi space fleet and global conquest.
• He fooled the gullible for ten years, collecting at least $15,000 (about $140,000 in today’s money).

Quote:
“Adolf Hitler…was not Adolf Hitler, but a 61-year-old African American coal miner and part-time Baptist preacher named William Henry Johnson.”
—Laci (25:50)

• Johnson’s scam escalated in absurdity—offering contributor titles like “Furrier Number Two and Three,” royal palaces, “diplomat virgins,” and sending outlandish requests for items like sporty white shoes for Hitler’s disguise.
• Listeners are treated to a surreal description of how the “followers” accepted increasingly ridiculous promises, including a plan to conquer the U.S., then outer space.

Quote:
“The haters gotta hate; they want to hate and believe. But when you start talking about outer space, there's a little bit of a record scratch in a scam.”
—Arden (33:13)

Victims and Downfall

• Among his victims: Charlie Brown, a Black handyman who donated all he had for the promise of imaginary titles and virgins, tragically unware that Nazis wouldn’t offer him status in the real world.

Quote:
"Hitler did not like Black people. What are you doing? You’re giving your money to the wrong club!”
—Arden (42:42)

• Johnson’s undoing came via handwriting experts, vigilant postal inspectors (who knew him as the “VIP at the post office”), prior mail fraud, and an actual written confession beginning, “I am guilty of everything. I am guilty of it all...”

Quote:
“A handwritten confession—‘I am guilty of everything. I am guilty of it all…’ That’s a giveaway.”
—Arden (53:07)

Reflections

• Laci and Arden muse that Johnson was, ultimately, a “terrible criminal” and maybe suffering from delusions, more hapless than malicious—targeting actual Nazis but bumbling in execution.

Quote:
“There's almost an innocence toward sweet little William. He's a terrible, terrible, terrible criminal.”
—Arden (55:19)

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5. Scammer of the Week: Baltimore Mayor Catherine E. Pugh

(57:51–67:10)

• Laci highlights ex-Mayor Pugh’s “Healthy Holly” children's book scam: self-publishing nutrition books, selling $800,000 in titles (many never delivered), and using proceeds for campaign finance fraud and home renovation.
• Pugh was sentenced to 3 years, paid heavy restitution, and forfeited significant assets.
• Tangents include legendary Providence mayor Buddy Cianci, whose scandalous personal life and political resilience lead Arden to recount wild true crime stories.

Quote:
“It’s not hard at all. And also, like, what are kids gonna say?... Like, I wasn’t getting the results on the playground that I thought I was gonna get from Healthy Holly.”
—Laci (62:53)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you get to be screamed at by a Black queen, like, you know you’ve really made it.” (Laci, 07:15)
• “She was the only person who got the book bundle. This is the closest to me getting a Beyoncé box!” (Laci, 00:53)
• “He was sending them out to everybody—it was like The Notebook, except for Nazis.” (Laci, 30:36)
• “[Charlie Brown]…just in case you’re not [dead], or maybe you’re on Neptune now and you can hear me…” (Laci, 44:27)
• “You could have just got money from them then go buy the sport coat, but he was like, which of my hater army is a good dresser?” (Laci, 37:23)
• “He was like, I did... Here are more crimes I did that y’all don’t know about. Like, what are you doing?” (Laci, 55:19)
• “Diet gum is a real scam. Diet gum is a real deal scam for sure.” (Arden, 64:09)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00 – 07:42 | Arden’s intro, family scams, and book discussion
• 08:02 – 15:22 | Listener scam: beer can deposit caper
• 15:22 – 20:41 | Stand-up, regional comedy, and accents
• 21:18 – 57:04 | Historic Hoodwink: William Henry Johnson, “Black Space Hitler” scam
• 57:51 – 67:10 | Scammer of the Week: Catherine Pugh and additional wild mayor tales
• 67:10 – end | Book plugs, sign-offs, social links

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Takeaways

• Scammer ingenuity can be found everywhere, from tiny towns to political office—and Laci and Arden revel in the absurdity and creative logic of historic and personal cons.
• The William Henry Johnson story is both hilarious and sobering: using bigotry against Nazis, but blundering to the point of self-destruction.
• The show, rooted in Black comedic tradition, deftly mixes rollicking storytelling, skepticism, and genuine societal critique.

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Where to Find More

• Arden Myrin:
  • Instagram: @ArdenMyrin
  • Book: Little Miss Little Compton
  • Podcast: Will You Accept This Rose?
• Laci Mosley:
  • Instagram: @DivaLaci
  • Scam Goddess everywhere

As always, stay schemin’!

Transcript

[A]

Scams C. Robbery and frauds. Scams cuns. Robbery and fraud. Scam goddess. Oh, my God. Guys, I have to formally introduce Arden. I've just been talking to her like, we at the house right now. But, guys, you. You've seen Arden, and first of all, I love Insatiable, and I did watch the show on Netflix, and I binged it so freaking hard. But she kills it in Insatiable. You're absolutely insane in that show. She's been. You've seen her in Shameless. You've seen her on the road doing stand up. You've seen her on Orange is the New Black. Honey. She's got a book that is out right now that I love.

[B]

It's coming out. It's coming out. They could pre order it.

[A]

Oh, it says on sale September. Oh, okay. I'm fancy. I got the book I got before it came out.

[B]

No, you got. You. You are the first person to get the bundle. You are the first. Those are going out a little bit later, and you're the only person who's gotten.

[A]

This is the closest to me getting, like, a Beyonce box. Honestly. Like, I opened it up on Instagram. I was like, bitch, if it was some clothes in there, I was about to be coming out and wearing them.

[B]

Yes, you got your crazy puzzle.

[A]

It says, on sale September 2020. The book is called Little Miss Little Compton. And I got quite the education from this because when I first saw this, I said, aren't mirrors from Compton, California? She from Bompton. Okay. Dumped it on the map. Arden is a tiny, blonde white woman. So I was like, what am I about to see? But then I learned that this is a small town in Rhode island with no stoplights.

[B]

This is a small town of Rhode island that has no stoplights. It has a general store. It has, like, the big criminal in town is a crow named Poe, the crow that was stealing people's mails. And it literally got put under house arrest. And that is. They had never heard of the Big Compton until the movie. They didn't even hear when the album came out until the movie straight out of.

[A]

So when Straight Outta Compton came out, they were like, who came out of here?

[B]

They were so excited. Like, literally. It was. The town could not have been more excited and had never heard of it. Like, had never. It's just fishermen and farmers and lobstermen.

[A]

Imagine when they learned that it's made by a group called Niggas with Attitude.

[B]

I made sure. I'm sure their minds were blown. Like, just white hair flying like gin and white Hair are just flying all over town.

[A]

Oh, my God. Well, I wanted to talk a little bit, so I haven't finished the book, but I did start it, and it's so funny and so interesting because you come from a. I have a family that is pretty wild too. And you come from a wild family.

[B]

I come from a wild family, yes.

[A]

And I found it so interesting that your grandparents just like, got married on a whim. Like, can you say, tell them, tell the congregation how I feel like your grandma, first of all, I feel like she scammed your grandpa.

[B]

Can I just say, as I was, as I was so first of all, such a fan of yours, such a fan of your podcast. And I was thinking about, like, my skin and I'm like, I am the product. I am literally the genetic product of two scams. My grandparents, my grandma thought my grandpa was rich. And she, like, was like, let me, like, wrap this up. She was sort of pretty and fun. She loved to party. And she got it. She was cute. She got it done. Like, literally. They ran over. They were in Philadelphia. They ran to Maryland to get married because you didn't need a blood test, like, one day after meeting. So that was the first one. And then the real scam came. My parents met in New York City. They worked together and they were out like, cocktailing one night and they. One New Year's Eve, they were trying to figure out how to scam their workplace where everybody got two weeks vacation.

[A]

But if you got a honeymoon, but

[B]

if you want to, if you want a honeymoon, you got an extra two weeks. And so my dad, who was like such a lush, was like, hey, you know, my mom was a little cutie pie. And he was like, janet, I dare you. We get married, I will take you to South America for four weeks. We'll come back and we'll get it annulled. And she had just been dumped by her college boyfriend. So, like, she thought she her, you know, she thought this was. And he seemed fun and kind of wild. And so it was sort of the bad boy that it should have been like a week long fling. But I think because her, she was like, her feelings were hurt that she'd been dumped. She was like, okay. And then she called him back the next day and she said she upped the ante. She was like, I will do it. We'll lie to our workplace. I will do it, but I'm not gonna get it annulled. And then they literally, they went. They had like a proper wedding. Like six weeks later. She borrowed her Best friend Arden's dress. Wedding dress. My grandparents met him as, like, her fiance. And they scammed their work. They went for a month. They fully scammed. That's why they got married and they stayed married until they died. 50 years. Nuts. Batshit crazy.

[A]

It's amazing. I think it's fantastic. And when I said your grandma, I actually meant your mom scammed your dad. Because I was thinking of that story. Because that story, your dad thought he was doing the scam, and he was like, all right, sis, look. Yeah, we ain't ever dated, but if we get together, I'm give you a month off and we going to South America. She was like, okay. And then he was like, we'll get it a.

[B]

No.

[A]

Get back. And the next day, she was like, I'm down. But no, no.

[B]

Yes. She fully. She fully up the. I mean, he thought he was the scammer. He thought he was it. And she called his bluff, and it did. It felt like the ultimate game.

[A]

She was like, no, I'm your wife, you know, ever.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I'm your wife. And, like, he fully tricked her. And because. And it really. I didn't learn about it till I was, like, 14 and was. My brother had, like, his girlfriend. And guys, you can read all about this in the book. You guys can read all this stuff. But my brother, I learned about it, like, when I was, like, 14 or 15, my brother had his first girlfriend, and she was asking my mom how they met, and they seemed like such an odd fit that it finally explained, like, how did they get together? And I was like, of course it was on a dare. Of course it was on Adair. Like, that.

[A]

We say that your mother rang the alarm, as the Beyonce song goes.

[B]

She was like.

[A]

Like, she goes to South America, let you go. Like, she was like, I'm not letting this man go. And I love it. Also, guys, the tea that has been spilled. Honestly, this is only 3, 4 pages into the book after the foreword. So.

[B]

Yes. Oh, no. There is so much stuff. You have no idea. It is. There's a lot, I think. Look, I talk later on about, you know, I grew up in this tiny town, and I had stars in my eyes and was able to, you know, make it onto a sitcom by 20. And sort of how I scanned that. And then I have a big hope. And then I, like, I talk. I spill some tea about, like, I accidentally. I did an episode of Friends and accidentally kicked Courtney Cox in the face during rehearsal. So there's all sorts of stuff. I talk about meeting Debbie. Debbie Allen who told me, she goes, act in pain, Heifer. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, and I've always been obsessed with Debbie Allen from Fame. Like, that was when I knew I'd made it, was getting screamed at by Debbie Allen. So it was truly, really just. Just all the dirt.

[A]

If you get to be screamed at by a black queen, like, you know, you've really made it.

[B]

Oh, she was in. She was in a red fur coat and red ugg boots, and she was screaming at me, and it was literally the best. It was like, the little girl in me. I felt like I was on Fame and she was. I was like, I want to pay in blood, sweat, and tears and be approved of by Debbie Allen. It was everywhere.

[A]

That's how you know a black woman cares about you when they yell at you. Okay. I loved it.

[B]

I felt like when she said, act in pain, Heifer, I was literally like. I felt like Dorothy clicking her heels like I'd made it to Oz. It was truly. I was like. Cause I felt like she knew that I would love it. I felt like she liked me and that she knew I would get it and love it. And I was like, I'm in. Yes.

[A]

She caught me. A heifer. Yes. Let's get into it. What's hot and fraud? That's the first segment where we're gonna warn our listeners about what's hot and fraud. Or sometimes we get listener letters. Pretty much all the time. We just do listener letters because I love to hear from the congregation. Right, guys? Scamgodesspot. Gmail.com. snitch on your friends, your family, yourself, but make sure it's retired and leave out details. And if you do put in details, I will take them out for you because I've learned what I should not share.

[B]

Sure. We all do. We've all.

[A]

We all.

[B]

You know what? Everybody. You learn, but you grow as you go.

[A]

You do. Look, I don't eat on here anymore. God, guys, I'm.

[B]

Oh, my God. I've been.

[A]

Because I'm so pissed that y' all are so mean to me about it.

[B]

Trust me, I've gotten. I got one. One episode I made error of. I. I. Like a year ago, I ate some almonds, and I think I lost. 88, 000. I mean, true, the anger. And I knew I was trying to hide my crunching, but even still, somebody was very triggered by my almond eating.

[A]

Yes. They can tell I'm not.

[B]

I will never eat again.

[A]

I will never light the pitchforks. Okay. As soon as they hear the smack.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. They're coming to your home.

[B]

Oh, they don't know. They, they hate it. And they hate you for doing how.

[A]

This is inspired by your book Little Miss Little Compton, because you talk a lot about, obviously, like your life, where you grew up, your family, things like that. So we're talking about a familial scam today. That's from one of our listeners.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

So can you give me a name, Arden, for this person?

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna give you the name Tina. Tina.

[A]

I like it. I like it a lot. Tina reminds me of Bob's Burgers, which I was like, oh, Tina's the most horny woman alive. At least on Bob's Burgers.

[B]

Tina's so horny. Tina's so horny. And I love it. I love it for Tina.

[A]

I love Tina deserves so Tina says hello, Lacey. This is my mother's long retired scam. She has always loved one get rich scheme or another. And this was one that I was involved in when I was 7 and 8 years old. Due to divorce and custody issues, my mother and I lived in Michigan during the week so I could attend school, and we visited my stepfather on the weekends. He worked at a small college in Western Pennsylvania and lived across from campus. Every Sunday morning, my mother would send my 7 year old friend and me to the frat house down the block with a trash bag. We would collect all the beer cans we could carry and then we'd load up her VW Golf to the ceiling with these bags and drive 5ish hours back to Michigan and have a 10 cent return on each. Pop. Can.

[B]

Pop.

[A]

You're definitely from Pennsylvania?

[B]

Yeah, Pop. I love whenever I hear pop, I'm always like, oh my. It's like a time traveler and I love it.

[A]

Back then you could bring a bag of to the grocery store's customer service desk and if they were busy, they wouldn't even open the bag and they would just pay you for whatever quantity you said was in the bag. Especially if you were 7 years old and your mama was waiting in the car. My mom had every angle on this figured out. She had me round up on the can counts and she must have realized that nobody at the grocery store would argue with a kid, even though after a couple years of this, they must have recognized and known that the can count was always off. The friend's father made a gadget that crushed multiple cans at a time so we could stuff more in the car.

[B]

Each trip.

[A]

She had us tell the frat guys who were usually all hungover and wouldn't care anyway that the money was for our college fund. The friend spent all $200 of her cut on candy all at once.

[B]

Yes. That is a girl after my own heart. I would go right for the fun dip. Right for the fun dip and Charleston.

[A]

Listen, she gonna be licking powder off a stick for years.

[B]

She said just flying tongue.

[A]

Just raw fly.

[B]

Raw. Just raw dog time. Flying, flying.

[A]

Oh, goodness. So she says that car would always smell awful after she started this and would attract flies if the windows were down. Damn. Y' all had that much beer in the car?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I think of the smell of a old natty light. And if I had to drive in a car like that. Oh, God.

[B]

When I picture. I also picture them having been out like hot in the sun, like hungover drunk frat boys. Just like a really sweaty night. I picture lots of different kinds of beer and all this. Everything kind of mixed. Some mixers all mixed together with like the partial liquid left hot, kind of juicy in the bottom of the. Of the bag. That. That's a. I'm impressed that there's not like anywhere else they could go get the can. I mean, that feels like a long drive to go hunt down those cans. But. But I appreciate.

[A]

I think it was a two stop shop, though. Like, mama would go out there and get her stepdaddy dick and then she could. While she was getting digged down, she would send the kids off on they mission. She was like, give me a little friend. Go over there and pick up cans. Y' all doing community service and cheering. And then she would get digged down and then they would drive back and make money.

[B]

Yes. Tina's mama, Tina Senior is getting at it. Tina Senior's just getting down and she's just. It's like almost a perfect babysitter distraction. It's like, we're gonna make a little scratch. You're gonna go, you know, we're gonna do some public service for these frat boys and. And mommy's getting served. Right.

[A]

And I went to college in Pennsylvania, so I know the beers that they sell there. And it's definitely like the natty lights and the old. Some people still doing old English. This probably was around before Four Loko, I'm assuming. But what's also crazy to me about this is what makes me laugh is, okay, so you in a frat and you in college, and it's just two little babies on your lawn every week. Every weekend.

[B]

Seven year old.

[A]

Two little babies.

[B]

Two.

[A]

Seven.

[B]

Seven year old.

[A]

Oh, Those are just the babies who come clean up our cans.

[B]

Those are the can babies. Those are the cutie can, the canned cuties.

[A]

No, they're really sweet. Your mom's great. She just drops them off, speeds away very quickly, very quickly.

[B]

And she comes back very relaxed. Very relaxed.

[A]

Flushed in the face.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. She's just like a whole different woman once she returns. Yeah. And these two little girls are out doing the. I mean, I love this kind of mom. I feel like I grew up. I feel like I grew up really around these kind of moms where I don't think I could pick my friends moms out of a lineup. Like, I feel like we were so unsupervised. The beauty of, like, completely unsupervised, that's the exact opposite.

[A]

But you lived in a small town. Like, Little Compton is so small. I feel like you got to have that kind of barefoot childhood existence where you can run off and go wherever you want as long as you're back when the street lights are off. I had that when I was a kid. Kid, kid. Like maybe up until 7, but after that, my mom and all her family was looking at me all the damn time, trying to make sure I wasn't pregnant.

[B]

I mean, how I do remember when I got my period and again and I looked like Barb from Stranger Things. I mean, I think my mom had higher hopes for me, but I remember my mom immediately. I think I was like 11 and she was like, you can go on the pill. I'm like, what? Like, she. It was all, just don't get pregnant. Just do not get pregnant. It was all. My mom wasn't even like, no one

[A]

go on the pill. She was like, if you have sex, I will know you gonna start walking different. I mean, you gonna start looking different. And I just believed her. She was like, I own your body till you 18. And I just believed that. I just didn't have any sex. Cause I was like, she owns it. She said she scared me.

[B]

You grew up in Texas, right? Where in Texas? I love Dallas. Can I just say, I've done a lot of stand up in Dallas, and it's my favorite city in America to do standup in. I love hyenas.

[A]

Dallas crowds are like, thank you so much for just being here.

[B]

Yeah. And they're pretty chill. Like, I have to say, it's a pretty chill. Like, it's, it's. I found it to be like a pretty good time. I felt like people were down to come hang and. And weren't uptight like I found it to be a pretty nice.

[A]

Because in Dallas, people aren't like, impress me. I feel like sometimes when I used to do stand up, it was like, people like, oh, I watch a lot of stand up. You better, like, come with it, right? But like, in Dallas, I think people, a lot of times are just. First of all, there's not a lot of nightlife. It's not like Houston. Like, Drake raps about Houston to compare. Like, he's not rapping about, oh, the strippers in Dallas, right? So when they get an event and they get an Arden coming to town, and they're like, oh, we know Arden from television. Like, they're just gonna be here hanging on whatever you gotta say. You could have read the phone book. You didn't even have to do no jokes.

[B]

No, they were. I remember doing. I'd seen a local ad that I remember doing local jokes about some guy that was like, a local lawyer named the Hammer. Have you seen the Hammer? Oh, my God, the Hammer. And he's like. He's like. And he's so great. He's so angry. And he's the Hammer. And he. And he drags, like, this giant hammer out into, like, the middle of, like, a highway and, like, tries to fight, like, a. Like a semi truck. And he's like, I'm the Hammer. Like, and it was like, wumba. You think you're better than a Hammer? It was like. It was so exciting. It was the angriest local ad I've ever seen anywhere. And I remember I did about, like, 40 minutes on the Hammer, and unfortunately, it's unusable anywhere else in America. But if I could have made my entire career just doing regional humor about the Hammer in Texas, I was also

[A]

just such a genius strategy as a comedian to pull something so local like that, because the Hammer is crazy as hell. But listen, in Texas, we like crazy. So if a lawyer is on tv, like, I will fight for you. We're like, okay, that's what it was.

[B]

It truly. And I. And again, growing up in the smallest town, like, or in the smallest state in the nation, you know, I will not mess with Texas. I will only come and respect Texas. I know I will never win if I try to pick a fight with Texas. So I'm gonna come just freaking give me a longhorn and let's. Let's talk about the Hammer. Like, let's do this.

[A]

Lawyers are willing to fight a semi truck for you.

[B]

It was true. I'm Jim Hammer, and you gonna get the Hammer. You deal with the Hammer. You call jim hammer.com. i was like, it was one of the crazier. But that's how, you know you got a good lawyer.

[A]

Because it's like, even if he doesn't negotiate the case, well, he still got a hammer. So he might just hit some people over the head. And look, you might still win.

[B]

He might. You might still win. And if, you know, if you're enough of a wild card that you rolled the dice and you were like, I'm gonna choose the hammer to rep me, then people know, like, that you've got nothing to lose. Like, you are like, you a junkyard dog. You got nothing to lose. Like, let's just drop it. Let's just settle out of court.

[A]

The hammer and Brian Long car. Now, Brian Long car is more chill, but see, where's this accent coming from? God damn. But Brian Long car. Where the. Who was that?

[B]

Ryan Carr's coming over here. I. I did. I. The. The longer I spend time, like, in Texas or in the south, when we did Insatiable was in Atlanta. And then I found, like, how quickly I am that I am that garbage person that visits a place and immediately picks up the accent. Immediately.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

I love.

[A]

I'm hella problematic, though. I remember when I used to live in Miami, Florida, and my cousin called me once, and I was like, hello? And he was like, who is on the car? I was like, oh, my God.

[B]

What?

[A]

Cause I speak Spanish. And then I just started talking like I had an accent. And Erica was like, please stop this.

[B]

Oh, my God. I love this version of Lacey. I love Miami Lacey.

[A]

My whole wardrobe was, like, a highlighter pack. Like, everything that I own was, like, super, right? And, yes, they was going through my ass.

[B]

How long were you in my room?

[A]

I was only there for a year, which is also why it's like, girl, like, why are you trying to act

[B]

like a year's long enough. A year's long enough to. I feel like if you were there for, like, two weeks, you know, which I feel that I've done stuff. Like, I feel that I have picked up an accent by the end of a week.

[A]

I think it's the actress.

[B]

So I, I.

[A]

It's kind of fun to put it on. As long as it is. There's some accents and things that people do that are offensive, but I feel like a regional accent when you go somewhere, a region.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's the. I love whenever I. When I go home, I fly into Boston. When I land at Logan, there's a Massachusetts accent. Like, oh, Adam, get over here. How's your mother? You know that. That world. Oh, there's like, Adam, come here. Just that whole Rhode island accent, the Massachusetts. I remember I thought the word fart was spelled F O T until I was, like, six. It was like, oh, who fought and who cut the cheese? Oh, sick that.

[A]

I love it. New York accents are just pretty or, like, northern. Like, Eastern accents are just, like, all very cool. It's all like, we're in the Godfather.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

But, guys, we're gonna do a quick break. We'll be right back after these non scam ever advertisements scams. All right, guys. And we're back. And it's time for my favorite section of the show, Historic hoodwings. This is when I will regale Arden with a very famous caper. And we'll just get her opinions as we go. We'll chat, we'll talk about it. So today the scam is about William Henry Johnson, a Kentucky miner who scammed Americans by claiming that he was Hitler and plotting a revolt with spaceships.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And it worked.

[A]

Yeah, we listen, you're gonna find out. But what I love about this story is, one, William Henry Johnson is a black man. Two, he is scamming Nazis and Nazi sympathizers and supporters. And I have no sympathy for anybody who is, like, fucked up and evil and racist. Getting robbed. I'm like, yes, please steal these people.

[B]

This is. This is the greatest revenge tale of all time.

[A]

It is a little upsetting that these people are so dumb that a revolt with spaceships. And Also, this is 1945, Arden. So, like, we weren't even doing space like that at that point.

[B]

No, we weren't. Nobody been to the moon. Nobody been like, this was not an option yet. This was not happening yet.

[A]

I'm not a flat Earther, but I am kind of like, maybe the moon landing didn't happen. And I know that's crazy, guys. I know that's crazy, but I'm like, I don't know, y'. All.

[B]

I love when people. I like when I learn when people get, like, comfy enough to say, like, I gotta confess.

[A]

I like, I feel like you disarmed me.

[B]

I answer to you now.

[A]

But then I'm forgetting that there's so many people who are gonna hear this and be like, this bitch. But, okay, so let's talk about William, I guess. Okay, okay. So in 1945, just months after Adolf Hitler committed suicide in his bunker, rumors emerged that the German dictator had survived with his mistress, Eva Braun. As they escaped the country and were hunkered down somewhere, where exactly was unclear. People claimed to spot him at neo Nazi gatherings in Colombia or on a U boat in Argentina. Oh, my God, the bad guys, they would go.

[B]

And that's Argentina, because it's so far away. It was a place for them to hide out.

[A]

So there's.

[B]

Wow, I didn't know. That's crazy.

[A]

In Argentina.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

So. And then the other thing is. Is, like, this is 1945. Like, we don't got Instagram, so I'm sure there were, like, plenty of white dudes who look like Hitler. Like, he made nasty mustache popular.

[B]

Like, dude, that mustache is such a choice that, like, it's such a specific move that has really only happened once. Like, and anybody else that keeps that going, It's. I couldn't tell somebody apart. Like, if you're wearing that, I'm gonna assume you're Hitler. Like, why would anybody else wear that mustache?

[A]

That's it. Charlie didn't know what he was doing, right? He just.

[B]

Cause I think that was before, earlier. He was just going pure comedy. He was doing it so he could move. He was. I'll give it to him as a pass. Cause he was in silent movies, and he needed to move his face around because he couldn't, you know, make noises. And it looked funny. With a mustache.

[A]

With that little tiny one. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

A little, tiny, crazy mustache. But this is, what a journey.

[A]

So apparently a lot of people thought that they saw him. He was like Tupac at the time. Although Tupac. Way better guy.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

Everyone's like, I saw him. I saw Hitler the other day. He was at my grocery store. It's like, did you really see him? I don't know.

[B]

I saw a documentary once where people thought that Elvis didn't actually die and that, like, they spelled his middle name wrong on his. On his grave. And there was a lot of. And there was a moment in time. I'm gonna confess to you. I watched it. I think I was, like, 19. I was like, maybe he didn't die. Like, and there was some rumors. There's been some Elvis sightings. Like, they thought that he was. You know, there's an actual. He was buried in the plot. Like, the wrong plot. And the middle name is wrong because he didn't.

[A]

I love a good conspiracy theory. Okay, listen, if there's spoiler, I'm put a little on my head.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Me too. Me too. I love it.

[A]

So the evidence.

[B]

No, it looks.

[A]

The evidence of survival was non existent. But by 1947 a poll found that 45% of Americans believed Hitler had survived. Among them a group of disgruntled German descendants scattered across the country who for several months had been corresponding with a man who called himself furrier number one. And that's William. So in hundreds of letters mailed between 1946 and 1956, 10 years, furrier number one explained that he was, despite misspelling his title and because he spelled furrier F U R R I E R. Like furry.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, like he was a fur. Like he's like a furry, he's.

[A]

And nobody noticed that. That was odd. But so, because like he basically he was writing in vernacular English. So Adolf Hitler, he was basically saying, look, I'm Adolf Hitler, I have survived. The furrier was not Adolf Hitler, but a 61 year old African American coal miner and part time Baptist preacher named William Henry Johnson.

[B]

Okay, so, so let me just get. So he was, he was sort of putting out the bat signal to all the, all the Nazis across the country looking for their leader. Being like, I survived, it's me, I'm here, here I am, send me money.

[A]

Like I think it's like Fuglia, it's like, I'm not saying it with a German accent, but he was like, hey, I'm furry, I'm Furrier, I got lots of furs. Evils, it's me, y' all leader.

[B]

And people were just so desperate for all the evil. People were so desperate that they were, they were like okay, great, he's here.

[A]

Literally your paw paw. Your old grandpa who's pretending to be a Nazi.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So Johnson was described as a tall, full faced man with a strong and convincing voice by a court witness. He had been duping the would be interstellar neo Nazi conquerors for about a decade. Many of Johnson's letters were signed by other aliases including Eva Hitler, Eva Braun, Admiral Kessering, Chief staff, who I guess sometimes he would just say Chief of Staff. What staff? Who? Just Chief of Staff.

[B]

Just the Nazis. Just evil. Just General Evil. Who is he sending these letters to?

[A]

He's sending these to German like people from Germany who had escaped to America, who were hiding probably because they did some fucked up shit. And then also to just like Nazi sympathizers and like obviously we still have them currently in our country today. So it's like they have held on for a really long time. It's like y' all lost, y' all lost a long time ago. Like y' all stop.

[B]

There was a guy they took away recently in the paper and they. I saw him hiding. He was hiding his face. I was like, yeah, you should hide your. Like. Like they found like an old guard a lot recently and like took him off and he was hiding his. But like, he'd been in hiding till like, he's still alive.

[A]

Crazy. There was two Brit people in the UK who were arrested, one woman for Nazi conspiracy theories because she participated in a pageant. I can't remember what the pageant's called, but it's some kind of like little Miss Hitler pageant that she was in. And then she got arrested for conspiracy charges. And this is within the past year. Like, whoa, give it up.

[B]

Give it up. It. Get it. It.

[A]

I just let that antisemitism. Like, we don't believe you. We don't believe in it. Give it up.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, give it up. Just, just, just let it go. You'll be so much happier. You'll be so much. Let go of that.

[A]

Like, there's nothing. Come on now you tell me. The best part of waking up is hating your cup. You wake up every day, mad people just wake up fighting the air like NBA Youngboy. Like, that's not a way to live.

[B]

That is tiring. Well, they have the two Karens last week that were mad about wearing the masks. And then they wore two Nazi masks into the store. Like, come on.

[A]

You know what, though? That's a scam I really want to get into. I was talking to Tracy Mattel about that. I was like, what if I. Or actually I think I was talking to Miles Gray. You know Miles. I was like, what if I started selling like, hate merch, but it's like black owned.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Imagine love and hate so much that you're like, I don't know. I need hate merch.

[B]

Oh my God, I love. You were running a black owned hate merch. That. This scary. It's. It really is all. I mean, just even. I know this is me up in a little while, but like, just even like that Trump was like, put that video up of that doctor that was saying that masks don't work and they have a cure. And they were like, you know, she said. She also said that aliens like that she's a doctor that talked about some cure that she got from aliens. And he goes, well, I don't know anything about that. It was like, what is happening here? Like, what, What? What? What? What is happening here? What is happening here? Everybody just be cool to one another. Let's just all be. Let's just all keep each Other alive. Let's be kind to one another.

[A]

Donald Trump makes me feel live and let live, everybody. I've talked about that on this show. I mean, the man tried to fight the sun. And after that, I really gave up. I was like, okay, we can't win. He's trying to. To fight the sun.

[B]

So

[A]

just like the hammer is going to fight a semi.

[B]

He's got the hammer. The hammer. It's got. It's. It's just. That's what. It's just a whole other thing. It's a whole next level. It's the next level.

[A]

It is. But yes. So he's signing these things as Chief of staff and whatever else. And a few messages came from a Hitler aide named a. Von John Bellowski. Postal inspectors wondered whether Johnson added a bogus, like, another name as a private joke, maybe. Child, he was just out here writing letters to everybody and anybody. It was like the Notebook, except for he was sending them out to everybody. He was like, hey, Nazis talk about you every day.

[B]

I've been thinking about you so hard, and I'm feeling your hate. And I just want you to know you're not alone. And it's me, Dr. Ava Braun, Hitler Nomskis. And I just want to know you're. You know, it's. Bless your heart for having so much hate in it. Just.

[A]

I can feel your hate.

[B]

I feel your hate. And I know everybody's bummed out that Hitler. I'm alive, guys. It's my time to shine. I've got my stash going. You know, just send me some monies to. Just send it to care of my friend in Pennsylvania.

[A]

Right? If a postal code people tell you that a black man showed up to take the money, that's just a slave. I still have one. I know it was abolished a long time ago, but somehow, Hitler. I still have one slave.

[B]

I've got one slave left. I gotta keep on keeping on. And is this just gentlemen that I'm interested to go get my mail? Because you think Hitler can be out and about getting his mail in public? No, no.

[A]

Hell no.

[B]

No. But thank you. Thank you so much for sending me that.

[A]

I'm definitely not the black guy. Just want to write that at the end. Not sincerely. Not black. Definitely Hitler.

[B]

Yep. Chief of Staff. Not the black guy. Definitely Hitler. Yours truly, xo. Too cool for school. Stay cool this summer. Hitler.

[A]

Hitler.

[B]

All. All the best. Hate to you and yours. Stay safe. Stay cool. Hatefully yours, Hitler.

[A]

Hatefully yours. Like, what the hell is this? So Hitler and his crew had set Up a camp in Kentucky to plot a new revolt and take over the United States, then the world. This sounds very pinky in the brain, right? Finally.

[B]

Next stop, the world. Finally, yes.

[A]

Outer space.

[B]

Okay, great.

[A]

That's right. Look, William had the Elon Musk plan before Elon was even alive.

[B]

He's having a baby. He's giving it a number name with a foxy. A foxy rock star. I know. I feel like you're blowing your crazy cover, William, when, you know, you might be able to get away with sending people to get people to send you money and whatnot, but once you start talking outer space, you might want to ixnay on the outer. A space, like, that's where, like, the believers want to believe you. They want to believe. Like the haters gotta hate. They want to hate and believe. But when you start talking about outer space, there's a little bit of a record scratch in a scam.

[A]

I feel like if you're on board with Hitler still alive and you're getting personal letters from him like you are Rachel McAdams in the Notebook, then you're probably already pretty far gone. So maybe space is just like. You're like, no, I would love to go to space with you. Hitler sounds lit.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

I have to think of. But you just made me think of something. I don't know why this is kind of tangential, but like, you saying, like, okay, he's going. He's getting a little crazy, right? It just made me think of that politician. I think his name was Dean or something like that. But they called it the Dean scream after he was like, Howard Dean.

[B]

Howard Dean. It was this. He ruined his whole future with one Yelp. He gave himself a one star Yelp.

[A]

I feel so bad for him because he would have been a superstar now. Like, he would have just. It would have been fine. Like, Donald Trump is trying to fight the sun on Tuesday. On Wednesday, he's got a crazy doctor that he's endorsing. On Thursday, he telling us to drink bleach. So, like, he would have been fine in this political climate, but back then, literally ended him.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

Pew.

[B]

How the Dean scream. The Dean scream. I have so much compassion for him because I fear when I, you know, I get a little nervous. I fear that if my nerves were really getting the better of me, I, in my excitement, could do some move. If a camera was recording me at all times, I could have. I could easily do some move that would be mocking till the end of time.

[A]

And now I know why. I thought of it because of the sentence that Hitler, the black man William, was sending out because he said, we're gonna conquer the United States and then the world. And finally, outer space.

[B]

Neptune.

[A]

Here we.

[B]

Next up, Neptune.

[A]

Pew. Oh, oh, the racism's gotta be good on Neptune. Everything was going according to plan, Furrier number one explained, but he needed help getting, like, help in the form of generous contributions to the cause. By 1956, the alleged Hitler collected at least $15,000 from recipients of his letters and over $140,000 when it was adjusted for inflation. In exchange for financial support, he offered prominent positions in the new regime, the coveted ranks of furrier 2 and furrier 3 to top donors. Small contributors would be thanked with royal palaces and diplomat virgins.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

Diplomat virgin.

[B]

So they got. They got virgins. It all feels very culty. It feels very like. It feels very. We're getting into Al Qaeda. Almost like a little bit. A little Al Qaeda. It's like a little pyramid scheme meets Al Qaeda. You know, like a little bit of. You pay in. I'm going to give you these certain titles, but then you're also going to get some virgins.

[A]

Like what? You can either have a royal palace or. Or one of our virgins. What?

[B]

Oh, God golly. That is very, very culty. Very. People want to believe and. And are captured by a lot of hate.

[A]

I

[B]

can't believe how I've. I can't believe no one's ever heard of him. I mean that I'm aware of this because this is an amazing figure.

[A]

He's. I don't think I like William. I think. I don't fuck with him. I think he's a bad guy. I thought he was just being like a fun black person who was robbing racist, but I don't think I like this man. So occasionally, Johnson would make requests in addition to money. Send a sport coat and a pair of white shoes, size 11. It's necessary for Adolf to dress sporty so he won't be recognized. How do you want. You know what Hitler really needs for you to go to Lacoste and pick up?

[B]

Yes, yes. He wants like a preppy, jaunty, like, day at the. Like a Nantucket day at the races. He wants like a sporty. A sporty little outfit.

[A]

Why are you having your following style? You like. You couldn't just get money from them and then go buy the sport coat. You were like, so who of my hater. Like my hater, you know, my hater organization, my hate army. Which one of y' all is a good dresser.

[B]

Yeah. Who looks the best. And I need you to send these in a size. Size 11, 34 waist. And I'll be in my invisible cab. I'll send my assistant. My assistant William will come pick it up. Don't pay any mind to him. He's just my assistant. He's. You know, I treat. I treat him terribly.

[A]

I hate him so much because he is black. So don't worry.

[B]

Hate him. I hate. Don't worry. I hate him. I hate him. But the fact that this guy got access to so many people is impressive and terrifying, and it just shows you how much people want to believe that he was able. They want something to follow.

[A]

I mean, people need it. And I guess I get it. It's just. Just. It's. It's a lot. I mean, like, you're asking for clothes. You're. I just can't. So a few times the victims wanted to meet Hitler, but Johnson quickly persuaded them against it by concocting urgent crises like FBI traps, elaborate escapes, or he invented an illness. He was like, hitler got typhoid. He can't. He can't come. So he said one of the things that he would tell people. This is like an excuse that makes absolutely no sense. So I just want you to know I'm gonna read something that's not gonna make sense, and I will try to make sense of it. Great. I may not be able to. You try as well, Arden.

[B]

Let's see. I love this.

[A]

So it says we are going. Everything to keep the bloodstreams around the brains clear. What? Johnson wrote this in a letter under the alias General Kassengesser to keep down a paralyzed, which is possible when the brain stream are not clear and free of. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Are we all having a stroke together? We're all having a stroke together.

[B]

I. I feel like he's just somebody who's actually crazy.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, I think he might be. He. I feel like he's somebody who's actually mentally ill. Hears voices, probably believes some of this. Like, probably. Maybe he thinks he is. Like, that's. I could actually. It almost feels like that level of crazy.

[A]

Right. And I do want to say, like, mental illness doesn't mean that you're, like, an evil person. Like, we're not saying that at all. No, but I think in this case, this person perhaps could have had delusions of grandeur. Like, for sure, because they're committed to this. Bit, like, super hard.

[B]

Yeah. Well, some. And then when some of this Stuff doesn't make sense.

[A]

I understand. Think what's happening here is he was saying, like, Hitler can't come see you because he has an in an illness. And everybody's got to keep the bloodstreams around the brain clear. Obviously, he ain't never even watched Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, because this don't even sound like fake doctor talk.

[B]

No, he's never watched Dr. Quinn. Yeah, I. Well, I mean, it was so early on, it was the 40s, so he doesn't know his good fake doctor talk yet. We can all have our. Our good fake doctor, but, like, maybe no one does.

[A]

I think in the 40s bloodstreams might sound convincing. I might be like, oh, okay, his bloodstream. That's why he can't come because of the bloodstream.

[B]

I mean. I mean, the guy's clearly covering his trail. And like, if they already believed him that they're all going to outer space, maybe they'll buy the bloodstream. The followers are already on board with this. Where do you guys find all of your historic scale? I'm always impressed by these. Like, they're really detailed.

[A]

And sometimes it's the congregation who will send something my way. A lot of times I'll google it. However, the research is always done by Sherilyn Vera. Shout out to Cherilyn Vera.

[B]

Yes, Sherilyn. Thank you.

[A]

Great documentarian and director. And she is excellent at this.

[B]

It's fascinating.

[A]

It is. And she always finds super fun details. Like she literally wrote in here, like, heads up before reading this out loud. It doesn't make any sense.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

And it did not. Thank you, Sherilyn. But let's keep going. Let's get through this. So Charlie Brown, who's a victim. Officers did identify at least one target of Johnson's scam, an African American, Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown.

[B]

He victimized poor Charlie Brown. Always getting that football pulled aside by Lucy.

[A]

That's literally what the scam is. It's like the good. Pull the football out from under him.

[B]

Sorry. No, no. Come kick it. Okay, so he scammed Charlie Brown, African

[A]

American handyman who had donated roughly $1,000 to the cause despite having little money himself. Charlie, you black? How are you donating to Hitler? What?

[B]

And in 1940s, whatever. A thousand dollars. That's a lot. That. That was probably like 15,000. You know, I don't know. I don't know what I'm for inflation, but that was probably at least $15,000 now I would imagine.

[A]

I'm glad that you. Cuz they pulled the football out from under your dumb ass. Because, honey, for you're black. You. Okay, at least. At least you're talking about, like, Aryan people. People who identify as Aryan. Like, okay, Hitler like them. Like, Hitler did not like black people.

[B]

What are you doing? Hitler wouldn't have, like, yeah, Hitler. No, no, you're in the wrong. You're giving your money to the wrong club.

[A]

God damn. So when inspector Lewis invite interviewed him, Brown had just mailed Hitler $20, leaving him with only 8 cents in his pocket and a single can of beans for food. Aww. So you sent him 1,020. Like you didn't think 1,000 was enough. He was like, I do have a last $20.

[B]

Am I last? I could spend this. I have a can of beans. So that'll get me through till tomorrow. I will send you my last $20. Yes, you can have it. I. After thinking this.

[A]

Or you could imagine if you were Charlie Brown's wife.

[B]

Oh, God. I. Yeah. What did you do? I'm sorry? Who you sent it to? Who? Charlie. Mr. Brown.

[A]

Oh, God. So Brown had considered it an investment. And Johnson, who was playing Hitler, had promised him the title of furrier number two three. The position to govern over a large territory, A royal palace, and some virgins. Like, you know, a handful, a sprinkle. Also a virgin.

[B]

You get. You get. It's a nice. Like a garnish.

[A]

It was a good package deal that he was gonna get, so he said. The letter also read, I'm going to make our colored friend Brown assistant world ruler for his bravery and acts last week. And sending the money. Okay, all right, listen.

[B]

He was trying to do Brown a solid. He was trying to help him out.

[A]

Charlie Brown. Let me say something to you, Charlie Brown. Okay, look, I know you probably hella dead, Charlie, but.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, in case.

[A]

Just in case you're not. Or maybe you're Neptune now and you can hear me.

[B]

Yep, he made it.

[A]

Maybe he made it to Neptune. Racism is hard. It terrible. And I get it. Sometimes there's an inclination of like, you know what? Maybe I should just get with the winning team.

[B]

But yes, I'm gonna join them. I'm gonna join them.

[A]

Don't do that. Okay? Don't Candace Owens yourself. Do not. Candace Owens yourself. Oh, that's why her hair so dry. Because she. Because she sold out to the black community. So now she'll never have an edge again. We spoke.

[B]

She's never. Oh, yeah. It. I mean, and you know, just bet on yourself. Don't keep your money, Charlie Brown. Keep. Bet. Do not try to go to the winning team. It's the wrong team. It's the wrong team, Charlie.

[A]

They won't win forever, okay? We will fight hate. We are fighting it. Little by little, we are making progress. But Charlie, goddamn progress is slowly.

[B]

Times are changing. Please, Charlie, please.

[A]

Oh, God. All right. Well, this is how he got caught. So the full story wouldn't emerge until a two day trial. In the trial, Johnson claimed to be a private detective working to track down a ring of subversive seeking up a new government here. He held up a shiny new detective badge and told the court that he had been trying to break the case so he could turn it over to the FBI. You know how crimes and jobs and crime work. You know, it's like you work on your own. You freelance. I'm a freelance police officer.

[B]

You work on your own. I. I don't know. I don't work for anybody. I. This badge that looks like a penny that's been driven over by a train, and I put a glued pin on the back. That's my sheriff's badge. And I will be representing myself. I'm also my lawyer.

[A]

I'm gonna just show up to crime scenes. I don't watch enough svu. I could do what Mariska Harkitate do. I'm down there. They got the coning it off. They're like, ma', am, who are you? I'm like, I'm a private detective. I work for me.

[B]

Yeah, I'm just gonna put some stuff in bags. I'm putting evidence in bags. I got some tweezers. That's. I work for me. I'm the boss of me. You don't.

[A]

We're all detectivizing here. Okay? I'm detectivizing, y'. All detectivizing.

[B]

It's always a wild card move to represent yourself too. I feel like if you're. If you're all like, I'll be playing the part of the detective, the plaintiff and the lawyer. Like that's a wild card move.

[A]

It feels unhinged. So he said it started 10 years ago when a man named Hoover came to his home and told him about Hitler. This is what Johnson said, possibly referring to the then active and arguably dictatorial FBI director, Edgar Hoover. He said that he was furrier number two and wanted me to help collect funds. So Johnson told the jury that he had graduated from Chicago street service correspondence school. No idea what that means.

[B]

That's how you become a detective. A freelance detective.

[A]

So showing an even larger badge. He has another badge. He came to the courtroom, badge down.

[B]

He is. Now, I know you were intimidated by Lieutenant Arden, but perhaps you haven't met Detective Arden, who's also me, with my judge.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, Also now he's in the Secret Service. This is the next badge. This one says Secret Service on it. I'm sure everything's spelled correctly. Yeah, Very secretive. Next he's gonna pull out.

[B]

Oh, he cray, he cray, he cray, cray. He cray. Did the cray, did the cray.

[A]

He's like, now here's my Boy Scouts badge. As you can see, I can tie many ropes. Like, how many badges?

[B]

I lit this fire. This is my badge now.

[A]

This is.

[B]

I also was the sportsmanship badge. I was polite about it as I've been doing all this stuff.

[A]

So he claimed that he'd been doing a mission commissioned by an unnamed Chicago firm to write letters and only pretended to go along with the scheme in order to find out if Hitler was actually alive. According to one report, he alleged that two other men had dictated the letters to him and that he had turned over all the money to him. He was like, I don't even have the money. I gave the money away. It wasn't even my money.

[B]

To my imaginary friend in J. Edgar Hoover, this is it. I gave it. It wasn't my money.

[A]

So. One of the key pieces of evidence against Johnson was his penmanship. A handwriting expert testified that Hitler's signature on the letters had, in fact, belonged to Johnson. The post office was familiar with Johnson. Okay, so see, I don't like that because, like, I don't believe in signature analysts. That's a scam.

[B]

I. It feels. That feels like such a. Like. And who becomes. Who actually becomes that as their job? Like, who grows up and is like a hater?

[A]

That's a new. That's a new hater profession, guys. We got meter maids. We got tax accountants or auditors. We got goddamn handwriting analysts.

[B]

Handwriting analysts for sure. That's a hater. That is a hater.

[A]

Your whole job is just gonna look at people's crooked letter. Crooked letter eyes. And like, come on now.

[B]

And like. And it's also like, nothing Nobody can dispute you. I can be like, that's definitely Lacey. It's not like somebody else actually can tell. Like, no, no, I can tell. That's how she dotted her I.

[A]

It's a scam job.

[B]

There's not.

[A]

And now want to do scam job.

[B]

I know. Actually, it would. I think you should.

[A]

I fully definitely him, cuz. Look at that. J. Be like, ma', am, can you explain that. Yeah. How much time we got? I also feel a little bit like

[B]

lie detectors feel a little scary.

[A]

They are.

[B]

Like how. Yeah, it feels a little.

[A]

That's why they're inadmissible in court. I would love to run lie detectors. It just sounds like you just kind of got to be scary to people and then hope that they sweat.

[B]

Have you ever had a lie detector?

[A]

Not.

[B]

But I haven't either. But I. I feel like I would like to. I feel like I. I feel like I would get. I would be. I actually think I'm a pretty easy read because I'm a bad liar. Like, I feel like I'd be so excited that I was lying that it would be awful.

[A]

I heard that you have to just feel like you're lying the whole time. Like you have to just like be nervous, breathe the same quick amount. And like, just like everything you're saying, you have to feel unsure about it. That way you can't really tell across the board.

[B]

If I knew I had to get a lie detector, I think maybe I would try to buy one. Practice, practice all my lies.

[A]

Just doing my lies. Getting up early. Doing my lies.

[B]

Yeah, practice, practice my lies. I feel like you could train yourself to not be.

[A]

You absolutely can. Because that's why they're inadmissible in court. Because it's honestly just some fun ass machine we made.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

Yeah, they're whole purple.

[B]

That's the equivalent of like those, those ghost hunters guys with their. Their ghost readers. Have you. Those are bullshit. I love watching. I mean, I like to believe that things are haunted. I get excited. I hope that like that children's hospital has the children that want to play ball like all that. But. But I want. But why have they never been able to prove it?

[A]

But I do love it though. I love it. And like, I want them to get

[B]

more petty with it.

[A]

I want them to be like, we found Joe granny in a corner and she farted. Like, you know, it doesn't have to be so deep.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want there just to be some stupid things happening.

[B]

Oh my God. You should. I feel like you could sell a script right now. Like a good comedy, you know, like a scary movie type movie that you could do with like ghost.

[A]

Your grandpa came back and he said you need to stop ejaculating and into socks. That's all he wanted to say.

[B]

Your grandmother just made me pull her finger in the corner for hours.

[A]

Like, I want them to have nothing important to say because I feel like that's always the thing. It's like she wants you to know that you are loved. It's like, why can't she be? Like she wants you to know. You really need to put the bread ties back on the bread.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You've got to stop. I like that. She knows you're jerking off into socks. You've got those crusty socks have got to go. She's watching.

[A]

You're 28 now. You can't keep jacking off into crusty socks.

[B]

You got to get a job, baby. You got to get a job.

[A]

Oh, gosh. Well, this is what I actually thought was damning evidence. The police office said that they were familiar with John. Or, excuse me, not the police office. The post office said that they were familiar with Johnson. So, like, he's VIP at the post office. He comes in, makes it rain stamps, you know?

[B]

Yes, yes, he is. He's getting bottles to his office.

[A]

That is at the post office.

[B]

He's Drake. He's Drake, yes, For sure. He's Drake at the post office because he's mailing out so many letters.

[A]

So the post office was like, oh, my God, we know Johnson. That's our boy. Okay? Ain't nobody looking stamps like Johnson. So five years into his scheme, Johnson had landed himself on probation for different mail fraud convictions. Mail fraud's a big thing. They catch a lot of scammers with mail fraud. So the reverend had posed as an attorney and taught a recently remarried Will how to forge records and reinstate state. Her unmarried widow checks in exchange for a cut of the profits. He was running all types of scams. Another dead giveaway was Johnson's handwritten confession. What?

[B]

That'll. That might. That. That's a giveaway. Hey, I did this. This was all me. Good luck. Good job. Sherlock Holmes of the. Of the courtroom. Like a handwritten confession. You're joking.

[A]

But literally, quite literally, it says, I am guilty of everything. I am guilty of it all. And if you can forgive me and allow me another chance of freedom, I will prove my worthy and make good citizen. If not, please be merciful unto me. A poor and guilty criminal.

[B]

Oh, he's so bad at being a criminal. He's so bad at it. I've come full circle on William. I think he didn't actually succeed in harnessing the hate. I think he's just a really bad criminal who got. He got a. I wonder how much he actually got. How much did he actually get?

[A]

Thousand dollars. Which for the time this is the 40s was a decent amount of money.

[B]

I Mean, I feel. Oh, gosh, I'm conflicted about him because at least he was targeting haters. But I think he was just really bad at being a criminal. Like, I think that he maybe didn't know what he was doing. Do you know what I mean? Like, I think, like, it does feel like the Dave Chappelle sketch. It's really this poor guy. I don't think he quite gets who he's gotten behind.

[A]

And you know what?

[B]

I think you're right.

[A]

And also, he was saying wild shit. But because these people are so fucked up, they went along with it. So he probably didn't realize it was gonna get this far. And he wrote this letter and he's like, hello, Court, it's me, a criminal. Someone who did crime. I definitely did everything, and I am guilty.

[B]

He is the world's wor. I mean, I think. I think truly. Again, I come full. At first I was rooting for him, then I was against him, and now because he's. He is. He is almost like the character Charlie Brown. Like, it's literally like a cartoon character. He's so bad at being a criminal. There's almost an innocence towards sweet little William. There's an innocence, and he's a terrible, terrible, terrible criminal.

[A]

He was like, I did. Here are more crimes I did that y' all don't know about. Like, what are you doing?

[B]

Yeah, let me tell you, just in case you want to catch me. I've got a few. It reminds me a good criminal, but a similar, like, letter writer. Did you watch the Jinx with Robert Durst? I mean, you must have this. You should if.

[A]

Ah, ah, Ah.

[B]

Doug. Oh, you're gonna love it. Scam goddess. I can't believe I'm the one delivering this to you.

[A]

Oh, I love my.

[B]

I'm not good. Oh, my God. I'm not gonna. I need to. I'm not even gonna tell you anything. What I was about to tell you because it's the climax, and I'm not gonna do it because it's. And please, nobody email in and tell her. Okay? It was on hbo. It's like a six part documentary series. It's such a great murder scam. So, like, there's a man pretending to be a woman. There's murderers, like, pretending to be roommates. There's. You Will, you're. It's incred. The way he gets caught on camera. Incredible.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna look this up. I'm excited.

[B]

It's terrifying and thrilling, and you're gonna love it. You're Gonna love it. You're gonna binge it. You're gonna binge it like you binged Indian.

[A]

I am. And I need new content anyway. Well, okay, guys. So fake Hitler, he went to jail for three years. And yeah, okay, too bad. In federal federal prison. And they were served concurrently. After the trial ended, Johnson would not have appear in the local papers again. His birth certificate, death certificate, marriage certificate, or obituary, none of them have been found. So

[B]

I feel protective of him because I feel that he didn't fully know what he was doing. So I hope he had an okay time in prison. I feel like. I feel like, baby boy, that's like,

[A]

not a great time in your life to go to prison.

[B]

Like, you're like, no, no. I feel like I want to give him a hug and some guidance. Like, I just want to point. Just, like, just turn his body a slightly different direction so he's just slightly different focus. Like, away from, like, the Nazi thing. Like, give him a hobby, maybe dress him up. He definitely had. He had some ambition. I feel badly. He was a really bad scammer, but he's successful. And then ultimately there's an innocence.

[A]

Well, guys, we'll be right back for the end of the show. Robbery and fraud. All right, guys. And we're back with scammer of the week. And this is where we honor one famous charlatan who we feel is worthy of our praise. And this week, it's going to be former Baltimore mayor Katherine E. Pugh, who used her self published Healthy Holly children's books to generate more than $800,000 of income while failing to deliver tens of thousands of books. So Catherine was sentenced to three years in prison after pleading guilty to fraud, tax evasion, and conspiracy. The fraudulent sales helped fund straw donations to Pugh's political campaigns and allowed her to buy and renovate a second home in Baltimore. Her fall began when the ball Baltimore sun reported that the University of Maryland medical system, who's on the board of directors that she sat on, had granted her a no bid $500,000 contract for 100,000 copies of her book. Wow. Wow. Thousands of copies of this book were intended to promote nutrition and exercise, and they ended up in a warehouse or in peugs houses or offices. Gary Brown Jr. Appear, Pugh aid and Rosalind Weddington, a city employee, were implicated in the scheme, pleading guilty to the fraud conspiracy and also to tax evasion. So they also got three years in prison. Pug had to pay $400,000 in restitution and forfeit more than $600,000, including her home in Baltimore and nearly $17,000 from her campaign account. Her attorneys asked for a sentence of one year, describing the 69 year old former mayor as a broken woman whose crimes were out of character for someone who's so dedicated to public service.

[B]

I love when somebody does it so intentionally and so publicly on such a large scale. Like. Like, it would have been so easy for her just to like, yeah, it's

[A]

like you wrote the fake book. I saw the COVID It's like healthy Holly also like healthy books for kids. They don't have to be complicated. It's not kid keto. You could have just been like, yeah, and chase your furry and apple.

[B]

Yeah. Play tag, eat an apple. Maybe put down like, you know, the big Mac and like, you know, have a carrot. There you go.

[A]

Don't spend $200 on Fun Dip. Like one page book.

[B]

I loved fun dip. I loved it. I was kid crack that, you know, I do love when kid crack. It was full kid. I was such a. Like, there was the mayor of Providence when I was growing up. He got thrown in jail for. There was like, money laundering, I think. And then he had an off duty police officer drive him over to his lover's house and he put a cigar out on the guy's dick and he hit him with a fireplace. Andiron. He got thrown in jail, got out, got reelected. He had his, like, he had a toupee that he called the squirrel. He had a pasta sauce called the mayor's choice. And then he got thrown back in jail for like, there was like mafia stuff. And then he got out again and he was gonna get reelected, but then became like a radio D, the most popular DJ in the state. Buddy ciance, you just took me on the wildest ride.

[A]

Arden, that was 30 seconds of what? What, what?

[B]

Yeah, you should look up buddy cianci. That's a great. He's a great scam. He was a great scab.

[A]

Buddy kept getting reelected. And that's the crazy part. Buddy cms burning people's penises with cigarettes and hitting them with pokers. And that's just in one evening. That's just a Tuesday night.

[B]

That was one night. Yeah. Yeah. And that was like the. Not the biggest problem. There was other problems he got. And people loved him. He was a great man.

[A]

Sounds charismatic.

[B]

He was fully. Yeah, charismatic. Crazy charismatic. And like. Yeah, people loved him. He would have been. He would have been. Been reelected three times. He got.

[A]

He was in your job then. Is it my business whose penis you burning? That sound like some personal stuff.

[B]

You know what? That's your. That's between you and the penis that you're burning.

[A]

That ain't got nothing to do with me.

[B]

You know, that's nothing to do with me. I'm not judging you. You do what you got to do. I'm not gonna judge your trying to

[A]

figure out if we got that new stop sign in front of the school. As long as we got that penis burning.

[B]

Yeah, you. You cleared the. Yeah, the pothole is filled. You got burn away. Who cares?

[A]

Well, I. I wish that Baltimore Mayor Katherine Pugh had been a little smarter with this scam because I'm disappointed. Also, I love that they said that she was a broken woman and they tried to make this like one incident. SIS was getting her house remodeled. That's not. That's a very involved thing to do with stolen money there.

[B]

You've got permits you have to pull. That's like a long. Like that. That's a long legal process. Again, you could probably. You could probably self publish a really shitty paperback, four page booklet, and just nobody cares. Just send them like, great. Just something that you mail. So like, give them something that costs you a dollar, keep the rest of the money, and you're good to go. How hard is it?

[A]

It's not hard at all. And also, like, what are kids gonna say? You know, when an adult has a book, I might. Look, I might read Weight Watchers or whatever and be like, you know, this really didn't work for me, but if I'm 7 years old, I'm not gonna be like, look, I wasn't getting the results on the playground that I thought I was gonna get from healthy Holly.

[B]

I thought I was really hoping for my core was gonna get different results. Kids don't want to read a book about fitness, some adult book about fitness. Like, they don't. I don't want somebody talking about my body to me as a child. I don't care what I look like. I don't want people trying to help me out and, like, try to make broccoli fun. Like, I'm not into that. I don't want that book. I want to read, like, some book about far.

[A]

And also, I'm glad that you said that because that's also to the greater point of this is like, yeah, we should have kids eat healthy. But if any kid is, like, focusing on their body as a child, that's fucking wild. Like, stop.

[B]

I remember as a child when adults started commenting on my. It was like, you know, I just remember just being like, what? Like, what are you talking about? What, what, what is. You know, my mom was doing like, diet gum. You know, she's like, do you want to be. It's like, why am I eating your diet gum? Like, what is this? I weigh like 70 pounds. You know what I mean? You try to get me down to like 68. Like, I don't. I don't know what this is. I don't know what's happening.

[A]

That's a scam right there.

[B]

Diet gum. Diet gum is a real scam. Diet gum is a real deal scam for sure.

[A]

But I mean, like, that's also just a whole industry. That's a huge scam is like body shaming and telling people they can't be fat and calling like, look, there's obesity and there's people who are fat. And just because you're fat doesn't mean you're unhealthy. I know a ton of healthy fat people who work out all the time and eat well. So it's America's scam of being like, no, we. We're doing this to protect you, girl. That's why we need you to buy these things.

[B]

Dudes, I was 30 pounds heavier all through high school and college. And like, I look back now and I was cute. I was cute. And like, everybody, like, people tell you about yourself. It was like, there was. I was healthy, I was fine. There was nothing wrong with me. And like, everybody's telling you all this

[A]

stuff, and that's the big American scam. I just watched Time wait a segment because I needed to approve an ad. And I always try to approve ads that I really like and I fuck with. And if they're by black owned companies, even better. But during the segment was other stuff that they were selling. And one of them was a $98 eye, like mascara. And look, I love. I will splurge on makeup, but I was like, $98. Yeah, I better grow a whole new eye. Yes.

[B]

That is. Dude, I'm forever. I'm all. I'm all l'.

[A]

Oreal.

[B]

It's the l' Oreal voluminous carbon black. I wait till it's on super sale because sometimes that can be like $11. And I will. I really only want to pay 6 for it. So I will wait till I get my CVS card on my Walgreen card and I will go get my, like, like my CVS bucks for it and then, then I'll go get it. That's all you need.

[A]

Talking about, like, there's some girls out there. Like, Pat McGrath. She's black owned that. I love her stuff. And she's a little more pricey, but I'm like, 98. And they were like, meghan Markle loves this eyelash.

[B]

No, you know what? And I will, I'm not doing for. I'll do it for skin. I'm not doing it for mascara. I'll. And I'll. And by the way, I'll be putting on fakies anyway. I'll be putting on my falsies. Just like Ardell, y'. All.

[A]

I, I, I work on some professional impress.

[B]

And Ardell.

[A]

Ardell is everywhere.

[B]

Like, me too. Ardell is really all you need. The Ardell is all you need. You can do the individuals, you can do the strips, and then you get. Just sponsor us.

[A]

Ardell.

[B]

Ardell is great. Impress. Impress. Sponsor them. Rebecca Minkoff makes a really cute line on the Impress nail. She's got, like, long, like, sunset patterns and stuff that I have coming to my house. I've got some party nails coming that are kind of like the fun, like, slight point.

[A]

Yes. I love a coffin. I love a. I love a pointy.

[B]

I love a stiletto. I love an almond. I love an almond nail. They're all en route. I'm gonna be pressing them on, hopefully talking to, like, Andy Cohen or whoever about my book. Praying they don't fall off. Just holding them still.

[A]

You're gonna look amazing. And speaking of that book, guys, that's Little Miss Little Compton. I'm holding it up right now as if you could see me, and you cannot, but it's so funny and it's so sweet. Like, this is like, thank you. And I'm not even that deep into, into it yet. And it's wild. It's fucking wild. Artist.

[B]

I think it's a fun ride. I think it's a wild. I think it's a fun ride. I think it's a wild ride. Like, look, my family was really fun. They weren't perfect. And so I had a great mom. I had a real tricky dad. And I think it's an inspiring book that you can kind of, if people told you some not nice things about yourself growing up, that you can grow up and sort of shed that and thrive. And again, I grew up with stars in my eyes. And I talked very clearly about how I got onto TV by the time I was 20, just growing up in a farm town.

[A]

You are a star.

[B]

I didn't know anyone.

[A]

You are a star item. Seriously, you're so talented and just such a wonderful and anywhere that you want people to find you anything that you want to promote other than this amazing book which comes out September, y'. All. Little miss little Compton.

[B]

Yes. And it's all about the pre orders, apparently, if you want to be on the bestseller list, it's. It's really all about the pre orders. And I have, like. So if you guys email receipts, if you buy, you can just take a screen grab. You can send it to rosepodcastmail.com every week until the book comes out. We are doing giveaways, so we're doing cute tote bags from the book. Little miss little Compton tote bags. We're doing puzzles, T shirts. So if you send the earlier you send it, you have a better chance of getting a giveaway. I host a podcast on iHeartRadio, but you can get it wherever you get your podcast called. Will you accept this rose? It's a bachelor theme. So fun. It's so silly. Lacey's been on it, and she's gonna be on it again. It's so fun. And then I'm. And then I'm on Insatiable on Netflix so that you could. The two seasons of that are up.

[A]

God, you're so funny on that damn show. It's ridiculous. That character.

[B]

Thank you. I'm such garbage.

[A]

What a horrible mom.

[B]

I'm truly the worst person on earth. Oh, my God. Oh, honey. Everybody, a little bit. Yeah, it's like just full garbage. Full trash.

[A]

Guys, as always, you can find us at Scam Goddess Pod on all platforms. If you want to email us your scam, snitch on your family and your friends. Scamgoddesspod Gmail.com and if you want to follow me and my shenanigans, the I V A L A C I Diva, Lacy on all platforms. Congregation.

[B]

Oh, I'm on Instagram. Artemarine on Instagram. A R D E N M Y

[A]

R I N. Oh, you got good Instagram content. I love following you on Instagram. Instagram.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

All right, guys. Congregation.