The British Conarchy w/ Edgar Momplaisir

Summary

Scam Goddess – "The British Conarchy" w/ Edgar Momplaisir

Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Edgar Momplaisir
Release Date: December 17, 2019

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Episode Overview

This episode of Scam Goddess centers on an audacious con involving a New York native who reinvented himself as a British royal expert, parlaying the persona into media gigs, a fake monarchy society, and even a royal-themed cryptocurrency. Host Laci Mosley and her guest, comedian/writer Edgar Momplaisir, explore the hilarious, bizarre, and sometimes relatable world of scams, discussing their own run-ins with frauds, what makes scammers so tricky (and appealing), and breaking down a particularly delicious historical scam: Tommy “Mace Archer Mills” Muscatello, the self-proclaimed British royal commentator.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Scam Stories & Vulnerabilities

• Voyage Magazine Scam ([04:18]–[10:54])

  • Laci recounts being approached by "Voyage," a dubious “magazine” that flatters creatives into submitting personal info, photos, and—crucially—the names and emails of ten friends, giving the "magazine" a steady supply of new victims.
  • Laci: "It's a website that is getting your personal information so they can sell it to people...and you have to give up 10 of your friends to even do it." ([10:54])
  • Edgar notes the scam thrives on creatives’ needs for publicity and self-promotion.
  • Both highlight how its "legitimacy" seemed real until they realized anyone could be featured, there were no interviews or photoshoots, and people's info was probably resold.

• Email Phishing Scams ([11:02]–[12:15])

  • Laci shares opening a phishing email she thought was from Buzzfeed, leading to public embarrassment and being locked out of her Gmail.
    "I had to publicly apologize on several Internet forums for clicking on [the phishing email]." ([11:31])

• Cost of Being Chronically Late ([12:26]–[12:58])

  • Laci notes, humorously, that being habitually late is costly:
    "People who are chronically late pay more over their lifetime. They pay like a million dollars more … Am I going to become one of those people? No." ([12:58])

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2. New York vs. LA – Cities of Scams & Aggro Energy

([14:13]–[19:19])

• Laci and Edgar riff on "fake New Yorker" status, street etiquette, and how NYC turns people aggressive—sometimes comically so.
• Laci tells stories of almost fighting and even threatening someone with a corkscrew on the subway.
• They agree NYC, especially Brooklyn, is fertile ground for new scams, and respect NYC scammers’ ingenuity.

Laci: "I do think that New York breeds scammers better than any other state... A lot of scams come out of New York City." ([19:48])

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3. Historic Hoodwink: The British "Conarchy"

([20:19]–[48:36])

Who is Tommy "Mace Archer Mills" Muscatello?

• An Italian-American from upstate NY who faked his way into the world of British royal commentary by reinventing himself as “Thomas J. Mace Archer Mills.”
• Created a “British Monarchist Society," gave his suburban NY home a fancy British name, and started dressing and speaking in exaggerated British fashion.
• Branched into media, ran a royal-centric magazine and podcast, and even launched “Royal Coin,” a royal-themed cryptocurrency.

How Did He Pull Off the Scam?

• Changed his name and crafted a theatrical persona, even acquiring a British "grandfather" he met outside Buckingham Palace.
• Became a go-to "expert" for interviews around the royal wedding—with mainstream outlets like the BBC and BBC Radio.
• Edgar (on how the con worked): "He's talking about himself, but he's making everyone put it all on Meghan [Markle]...so no one's smoking him out." ([24:36])

Key Tactics & the Appeal

• Mimicry & Persona: Years of accent practice, historical study, and dressing the part.
• Leveraging Others’ Biases: Played into British anxieties and resentments during the royal wedding, deflecting suspicion.
• Networking: Courted and befriended the press—until he left one with a bill, prompting her to investigate him ([45:08]).

What Brought Him Down?

• Wall Street Journal reporter Bradley Hope retraced his digital footprints, found references to his real identity, and confirmed details with his unsuspecting father.

  Laci: "He gets caught because the Wall Street Journal outed him...I investigated him, I looked him up and his corporate record said American." ([45:54]–[46:17])

The Broader Takeaway

• The scam worked because people wanted him to be real—he was providing a service (royal commentary and nostalgia) that resonated with an audience hungry for pomp and tradition.
• Edgar: "That's a deep scam when you get caught on something that's just not even you." ([43:07])

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4. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Scamming & Aspirations:

  Laci: "I love a scammer because you can make anything money. People don't tell you that, but you can make anything money." ([26:49])

• On Real Estate as a Scam:

  Laci: "Real estate is the biggest scammer job. I almost have a real estate license because it's such a scam." ([31:14])

• On Execution of the Royal Scam:

  Edgar (joking): "That's a New York chopped cheese and police brutality, bro." ([26:00])

• On the Tactic of Deflection:

  Edgar: "He's talking about himself, but he's making everyone put it all on Megan [Markle], so now no one's smoking him out." ([24:36])

• On Leaving NYC:

  Laci: "I moved out of New York...it's too much trauma. If I deal with trauma, I'm not gonna be able to do my life." ([19:01])

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5. Scammer of the Week: The Heart Attack Distraction

([49:45]–[54:28])

• Florida Walmart Toy Heist
  • Two men attempted to steal large, high-value toys by faking a heart attack as a distraction.
  • They failed because the "heart attack victim" was too young, and the haul (giant Barbie car, LeapFrog tablets, Barbie vacation home) was too conspicuous.
  • Laci: "I think that was the flaw in this scam—they were too young." ([51:41])

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Important Timestamps

• Intro & Guest Banter – [00:00]–[04:18]
• Voyage Magazine & Personal Scam Stories – [04:18]–[12:15]
• NYC/LA, Aggression, and Culture – [14:13]–[20:19]
• Historic Hoodwink "The British Conarchy" – [20:19]–[48:36]
• Scammer of the Week – [49:45]–[54:28]

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Tone & Style

• Laci and Edgar keep the conversation light, self-deprecating, and playful, blending their personal histories with skepticism, pop culture references, and sharp observations.
• The episode is filled with laughing asides, good-natured roasting, and affectionate ribbing about scams, family, and growing up.
• Both hosts constantly connect personal experiences with broader insights about why scams work, and the need (and peril) of visibility and self-promotion in creative industries.

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Summary for the Uninitiated

If you've never listened to Scam Goddess, this episode serves as a hilarious and insightful primer into the world of scams, both petty and grand. You'll learn how frauds prey on ego and opportunity, how even smart people fall for them (including the hosts), and how one determined man from New York managed to convince the British media he was blue-blooded—until the receipts came due.

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Notable Quotes Highlighted by Timestamp:

• "You have to give up 10 of your friends to even do it." – Laci ([10:54])
• "I should have done more research...which is like a beautiful scam." – Laci ([09:12])
• “He’s talking about himself, but he’s making everyone put it all on Megan...so now no one's smoking him out.” – Edgar ([24:36])
• "I love a scammer because you can make anything money." – Laci ([26:49])
• “That's a deep scam when you get caught on something that’s just not even you.” – Edgar ([43:07])
• "I think that was the flaw in this scam—they were too young." – Laci ([51:41])

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For More Scams and Laughs:
Follow Laci (@divalaci) and Edgar (twitter.com/mopozir). Listen to more Scam Goddess for true tales of fraud, fraudsters, and the hilarious side of getting got. As Laci says, “Stay schemin’!”

Transcript

[A]

Scams, robbery and frauds. Scams, robbery and fraud. Yo, welcome to Scam Goddess. Is my mic on? I'm about to be very Nicki Minaj today.

[B]

You gonna retire.

[A]

Nah, nigga. But you know, she has Queen radio and, like, she be wilding on Cree radio.

[B]

I don't listen to that stuff.

[A]

Oh, God. Hi, guys. Welcome to Scam Goddess. It's me, your host, Lacy Mosley, y'. All. I drank a little last night, and so this. This is gonna be a fun one because I. I might still be drunk. Guys, I have in the booth in the studio today one of my dearest friends, one of my oldest friends in la. He's so funny. He's so talented. He's a writer. He's a reluctant actor, which is actually very fucking annoying because everyone wants to be an actor so bad. And every time that this man acts, he's like, oh, I don't want to act. People just keep forcing me to do movies. He's ridiculous. But, guys, today I have Edgar Norman Monplacier.

[B]

You didn't have to say the middle name. I've worked very hard to keep that middle name.

[A]

I love that middle name.

[B]

I just applied for my passport the other day.

[A]

Edgar has a murderer middle name, and I fucking love it.

[B]

I applied for my passport the other day, and the lady's like, you don't want to put down a middle name. I said, absolutely not. Let's keep that shit out of there. She's like, I see it right here on your driver's license. I said, don't put it on the application.

[A]

I love it. We all love it. It's so good. Yo, Edgar, what's your relationship with scams?

[B]

I'm a very honest person, and it's hard for me to do, like, scam type shit like my dad used to try to do. Not shady shit. But I remember I have a very distinct memory of. I used to take swimming classes at Lehman College because when my uncle and cousin drowned, my mom enrolled us in

[A]

swimming classes after two people drowned.

[B]

They drowned the first person. Well, they drowned together. They drowned together.

[A]

Oh, damn.

[B]

They drowned. They drowned trying to save each other. What? In the Hudson? In the Hudson River.

[A]

God damn. That's one of those, like, airline stories where you're like, put your mask on first before somebody else.

[B]

And I'm gonna stick. I'm gonna stick to that shit. They were trying to, like, help each other put on their life. Anyway, it's a long story, but we were taking swimming classes.

[A]

It's sad, but it's Also a little funny.

[B]

Yeah. And then we were. Yeah. So one time I forgot my id. Cause you needed your ID to get into the pool, like the Lehman College id. And my brother had his. We'd never looked alike, which was already weird.

[A]

You and your brother don't look alike.

[B]

And then my brother. And then my dad was just like, oh, here's the plan, okay? Jonathan is going to swipe his card, and then he's going to pass the card to you, and you're gonna swipe it. And I refused. I was like. I said, I can't do that. I am not Jonathan. I can't do that in my conscious heart, because I know that I am not Jonathan.

[A]

I'm so disappointed.

[B]

And my dad was hella mad. He was about to beat me if we weren't in front of all those white people at that college.

[A]

I love your dad. I love that your dad's a scammer. He said, swipe this card.

[B]

Oh, my dad's a big time. His first job in New York was so. You know, my last name is French. His name is Serge Montplazier. And they would have him apply for places to rent and then show up, and they would see this Haitian ass man and they would deny him. But what they didn't know was that my dad was working for these lawyers that made money that way. So they would then sue that rental company.

[A]

Yo, I should do that. My name is Lacey Mosley.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

For babysitting, I would, like, put all these little door tags on people's doors, and I'd be like, lacey Mosley's babysitting service. And then I show up, I'd be black as fuck. And they gave you where your kids at.

[B]

And then if they don't give you the job, you know, it's based off of your race.

[A]

It was too late because they'd already called me and I was like, hey, yeah, I can babysit your kids this Wednesday at 7.

[B]

Damn. I'm really trying to see Lion.

[A]

Yeah, they have to go. So they're like, I have to see the Prestige and the Illusionist. Same movie, white dudes. And they'd be like, well, I guess we have to let her babysit our kids. Yeah, but also, white people have a man.

[B]

They come back to their house, that kid has box braids.

[A]

And all the food in the fridge is gone.

[B]

All the food in the fridge is gone.

[A]

Yo. Well, I'm gonna tell you what's hot and fraud right now. And I know that you're gonna relate to this. This is a scam that I participated in, guys. I did the scam. You can see it on my Instagram if you scroll. But the story is Voyage. Voyage magazine.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This is a magazine and I'm putting in heavy air quotes. You can't see them. But magazine, because it only exists in, like, major cities. So it's like New York, Chicago, Louisiana. Like, major cities where a lot of people are working in entertainment, trying to get as much visibility as possible. And so this is a letter from a man named Sean. The letter says, hi, Sean, I'm on the editorial staff of Voyage Chicago magazine and I'm working on an interview with hidden gems from Chicago and the surrounding areas. Thought you would be a great fit for our Thought Provoker series. We're excited to learn more about you, share our. Share your story with our readers. There's no cost involved, but we'll of course need some of your time for the interview. Please let me know if you would be interested in being featured. So many friends of Sean and colleagues also got, like, the same email. So soon after Sean agreed. From the email, he was sent a short form to fill out. And this was information about himself, allegedly for the article. So it says in the thing that you'll need one good personal photo. You have to submit your own photo for the magazine. They're not taking photos of you. You never meet anyone from the magazine. I know this for a fact. And other relevant images. And then you fill out this questionnaire and then in two weeks they post you on their website.

[B]

Yep, yep. See, I knew that shit was fake. I fucking knew that shit was fake.

[A]

It's a goddamn scam. And I was in on it early. Like, someone sent it to me and I was like, ah, Voyage magazine. I posted it on my Instagram and everyone was like, oh, my God, Lacey, you're being written up in a magazine. This is so fancy and wonderful. It's not a real magazine.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

It's a website that is getting your personal information so that they can sell it to people.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And like, you know, a lot of websites will be like, fill out our questionnaire, blah, blah, blah. We won't sell your information. And they say that up front. Voyage does not say that. Because, honey, they selling it. They selling all your information.

[B]

So let me tell you how I knew that was fake. They asked me to do it. And I didn't do it at the time because I was like, I got lazy and I forgot to send in the questionnaire and whatever. Like, I never filled it.

[A]

Ask questions.

[B]

Yeah. And I never Sent it and Anna did it. And I was like, I shared Anna's. I was like, oh, look at my girlfriend, she's in this shit.

[A]

I honestly, Anna, I'm so sorry. I recommended you because there was a thing. There's a thing. There's a thing at the end of the article. And that's how I knew it was a scam. Cause I was like, this is too much work.

[B]

Yeah. You never read People magazine and be like, hey, who do you want us to interview next? Who does? Who do you want to interview next?

[A]

They were like, give. They wouldn't let you submit the form. They wouldn't let you submit your article unless you recomm 10 people. 10, not even five, 10. And so I was like, damn, I gotta recommend people. So I recommended Anna. I did. I was like, oh, I'm gonna recommend all women because I love women. I was like so empowered. And so I recommended and gave personal

[B]

emails, which is wild. That's wild. But here's how I knew it was whack. I knew it was whack cuz like when I saw you got it, I saw Anna got it. I was like, okay, they're going out for like, you know, comedians. But then I started seeing some of the people on Instagram get it and look, this is trash. But I was just like, this n ain't shit. Why is Voyage interviewing this person? And the other person would be like, yeah, I'm a writer. And be like, I know for a fact you've never written a goddamn thing in your life. And I started seeing the kind of like, it'll be somebody who like was like, in improv 101, I perform at UCB. And I was like, this magazine is fucking fake, bro.

[A]

It's like, get to know Tom Johnson. Tom Johnson works at Arby's and he love, loves comedy. Like what? Yeah, they. They had no standards.

[B]

No standards, bro. That's why I was like, this shit is fake as fuck. And I never finished filling it out. I was like, this is gonna get me.

[A]

But I love the scam because it really appealed to my own narcissism.

[B]

Absolutely. That's exactly what it is.

[A]

And self promotion. And honestly, as a performer and an actor, you're constantly self promoting yourself. So I was like, oh, people are gonna see me and reach out to me from this article. They don't. You post the article on your Instagram for clout and they get clicks even. No one actually subs it.

[B]

No, you can't.

[A]

I should have done more research. I went on their Page. It was very limited. They had no information, really. Which is like a beautiful scam. Like, don't put out information.

[B]

Well, then what sucks is that I completely understand why you did it. I don't know if so much as narcissism, but what you said with the self promotion thing is like, we've all gotten jobs off of doing something like that, right? Like hopping on a podcast. And someone's like, oh, I like this person. And they go to your work and they see more. Yeah, look at this, bro. This is fake as fake and on.

[A]

And every photo that you're seeing is the photos that people already had, either on their Instagram or that professional photographers took for them. There's no photos that Voyage takes. I've never met anyone from Voyage. I never even talked to anyone from Voyage. Look at this shit.

[B]

You know, that's kind of genius.

[A]

I don't know who any of these motherfuckers are.

[B]

No, bro. And it was like, yeah. They were like, hey, you're a very talented artist that they were hearing about. And I was like, nigga, I ain't done shit how you heard about me, right?

[A]

And honestly, I left my post up on my page because I was gonna delete it when I found out that this was a scam. But I was like, no, I live in scams. I revel in them. I love to participate in a scam. And this one, like, you got basic information for me? It's whatever.

[B]

Very classic Lacy did not admit when she got got. That's very classic Lacy. I bet you lose games.

[A]

But I did admit, I bet you lose games.

[B]

You'd be like, you know, that was my plan to lose Uno all along. I wanted the most cards.

[A]

Edgar knows me very, very well, which I already hate this so much. He knows me so well. He knows me better than any guest we've had on. And honestly, I hate it already. Cody is my producer. Cody, delete everything that Edgar says. Yeah. Voyager LA is a scam, guys. If anyone reaches out to you from this magazine, it is a scam for information. And you have to give up 10 of your friends to even do it.

[B]

That's the worst part about it, is that you're throwing 10 of your friends and it's like, well, Lacy has been caught in a very similar scam. Your email scam.

[A]

That was not okay. First of all, that was Buzzfeed's fault. Buzzfeed sent me a fake email, and I only opened it. I didn't even send it to anybody else. I fucking opened it. Cause I had recently worked for buzzfeed and so I thought it was footage

[B]

that we shot, but it was the first time I've ever seen somebody invest like a whole click of like literally everyone in UCB got also phished because

[A]

it was very embarrassing for me. I opened up a network.

[B]

Yeah. Like all these people on Facebook were like, yo, I think Lacey got me a virus.

[A]

I had to publicly apologize on several Internet forums for clicking on. I was like, I'm so sorry, guys. I clicked on an email. I even like cuss out the person who said the email. I was mad. And what was crazy about it was, is that Gmail retaliated against me and

[B]

shut down all your accounts.

[A]

And I realized how dependent I was on Gmail. I was fucking crying. I'm not even kidding. Crying in the fetal position because I could not open Gmail. I could not open my calendar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's how I run my day. And I was sobbing. I'm at the mercy of Gmail. What was crazy was I was like, bitch, I'm a get a fudgeing planner. I'm going to start writing down all my occasions, events and things that I have to be at because Gmail. And then as soon as they let me back in, I was like this planner.

[B]

You know what? I' ma say that maybe before then you were early all the time. And that was the time when like you started becoming late all the time.

[A]

Honestly, it's better to be late.

[B]

Oh boy.

[A]

But you know what though? Guys, guys. Congregation. I have learned that people who are chronically late pay more over their lifetime. They pay like a million dollars more. I'm not even kidding. This is a real fact. Because in late fees in the consequences of showing up late, like having to get shit parking and pay for parking, getting parked. Like everything that comes with being late is more expensive. People who are timely save a fuck ton of money. Am I going to become one of those people? No. I'm going to keep working to make money so that I can continue to be late.

[B]

That's the only problem with you being late. So you become a so powerful, that doesn't even matter anymore.

[A]

Yes, but we honestly, late is my self care. And I used to rush. I used to be so stressed out being late and now I'm like, this is who.

[B]

I try out some oils. I have to try out some oils, get some massages. There's so much peppermint oil.

[A]

No, I have peppermint oil and I get massages and I'm late all the time. And this is my life, and I've accepted it. But, yeah, guys, don't let Voyager LA take your information, because they're selling it. They are selling it to the highest bidder. Oh, God. Guys, this is so fun, but right now, we're going to take a tiny break for some non scam advertisements. All right, guys, we're back. Yo. All right, it's time to get in my favorite segment of the show, Historic Hoodwinks. This is where I will regale Edgar with a hoodwink that I'm so excited and passionate about, and we're gonna get his thoughts. So today we're going to be talking about Historic Hoodwink, the Italian American, upstate New Yorker. And Edgar's a fake New Yorker, so

[B]

that's completely ridiculous, and I'm tired of the slander.

[A]

You're a fake New Yorker.

[B]

You're a fake New Yorker. You've lived in New York less than anywhere you've lived in your life.

[A]

I am a fake New Yorker. I'm literally currently working a job where I have, like, a New York accent, and it's like, I lived there for two years.

[B]

And what the issue with that is is that you can't stop yourself. You kind of like, new York made me a monster.

[A]

I'm an aggro, and I have to be the most aggro. I'm an alpha by nature. So when I lived in New York and everyone's aggro, I became even more aggro. I had to move, they say. And I don't know who they is, but I always say this, but they say that it takes two years to know if you're a New Yorker. And after two years, I was like, I'm not a New Yorker. I'm piecing the fuck out of this bitch because it was fucking hard. You leave your house, it's cold. You know, getting out of the bed is hard. Getting out of your house is hard. Getting on the train is hard. Fighting every nigga on the train is very difficult. Then you get off of there, and you still. You're an axe actor. That's a hard industry. You got to fight everybody at your auditions. You got to fight everybody down the street. I don't move for people on the sidewalk. And I got that from New York.

[B]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. You're not supposed to, because if you do, that's how they know you're a tourist and you're weak and they'll kill you. Right?

[A]

Honestly, the first time I went to New York, I told Lauren Lapkis here, when she did the show. I looked around and I was like, very. Like, in New York.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I had a moment. I was 12 years old. First time in New York. My mom hit me on the arm and was like, stop looking around. You will get us robbed.

[B]

That's right. Somebody going to punch you in the gut just because you're looking around.

[A]

I've already told the story, but I. This is why I moved out of New York. And there's two instances I'm going to tell you guys about. I'll probably sorely regret it. I was going up the train platform, and, you know, as a fake New Yorker, there's an etiquette on the train that, like, if you're going up the steps and there's a train on the platform, you move for people because they're trying to get on the train. You don't want to make anybody miss their train.

[B]

You. You hold on to that railroad or you wait.

[A]

Yeah, no train on the platform coming up the stairs. This white dude is coming down the stairs. He's barreling down the stairs. There's no train on the platform. I know for a fact he runs into me pressed, like, up against my shoulder. We're face to face. And I look him in the face and I go, really? And he goes, yeah, really. And as soon as he passed me, I donkey kicked him down the stairs. I, like, back kicked him like I was a goddamn horse. And I. In the moment, I felt so good. And then I was like, what if this nigga come back up the stairs and fight me? And then I ran away. I ran out of the train station. I was so fucking afraid, but I was like, why the fuck did I do that? Because I had become so aggro that I was like, oh, bitch, really?

[B]

Really?

[A]

And I kicked his ass. And then there was another moment that I knew I really had to leave. I was on the train, and this woman was bumping me, and I thought it was an accident, and I was like, oh, you know, it's a bumpy train ride, whatever. Then it was so deliberate, and there was so much room on the train. I was like, no, she's doing this on purpose.

[B]

Ye.

[A]

And so I was on my way to work, and I was a bartender at the time. I pulled out my corkscrew, and there's, like, a little baby knife on corkscrews, or at least the one that I had. And I flicked up the baby knife and I held it in my hand, or she could see it. She ain't bumped me no more. But when I Got off the train. I was like, lacey, were you gonna stab her?

[B]

You were. You were. Because I watched a lot of these train videos and shit like, that happened. I remember there was this one, it was this white dude bothering this black guy. And then the black guy was just like, I'm just gonna get on the train, and this dude's gonna leave me. And as the train doors were closing, this white dude spit perfectly to where it went through the closing train doors, and it hit the black guy, and the black guy pushed his hand and, like, got caught in the door and slowly opened the door. And there's these other niggas just, like, filming the shit and watching it. And he gets off the train and starts beating up the white dude till the white dude passes out. And the thing that's the most true is you hear at the end of the video, one of the dudes filming goes, he's spinning his face. He had to. And I was like, yeah, that's New York. Like, that's truly New York. Like, everyone was just like, no one was ma. This dude for doing that shit. I was like, he had to. He spinning his face.

[A]

Done the same thing.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. I would have done the same thing.

[A]

I love that. The other people were like, we're not going to help this white dude. We're going to film it.

[B]

We're going to film it. Because if he had not spit in his face, I might have helped this white dude. Even if he, like, said some wall should be, he spit in his face.

[A]

Like, he had to, I wouldn't have helped him. Either way, I'm not getting involved in people's shit, bro.

[B]

New York is fucked up for that. Like, they'll literally watch somebody get murdered. Everybody. Like, well, I got to get to work, right?

[A]

That happened to me. I had not murder, but I was on the train. I was getting off the train, and this. I think he was probably mentally ill, but this white man came up to me and was literally an inch away from my face when the train doors opened and goes screams in my face.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, I'm late. Like, I'm not gonna be able to get my egg and cheese from the bodega. I did not register it at all. Yeah. Like, I think New York is a place where you put your trauma. Like, you just. Just, like, traumas every day. So you're like, if I deal with trauma, I'm not gonna be able to do my life. And that's why I had to leave, because I was like, it's too much.

[B]

Yeah, I think. I think that's what the big difference between LA and New York is. And obviously, when I talk about the trash of la, I'm not talking about people who actually grew up here and live here. I'm talking about the transplants that bring the dirty business.

[A]

Transplants are honestly the trash.

[B]

That's the worst part of la.

[A]

Everyone likes to act like it's the people who live here. But LA people are so chill.

[B]

They're so chill.

[A]

It's the people who come here and have to adjust.

[B]

They act out and they're like, the traffic is bad. It's like cuz of. Yeah.

[A]

Honestly, that was a big thing for me, is I learned that I am the traffic.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Every time I get in a car and I'm like, oh, traffic is so bad. I'm like, oh, I am the traffic. Yeah. Like, we're all the traffic.

[B]

Yeah. These niggas that live here are just trying to get to work and you're trying to get to three auditions, so.

[A]

But I do think that New York breeds scammers better than any other state. And I'm specifically talking about New York City. A lot of scams come out of New York City. A lot of scams that you are being involved in, you don't even know are from New York City. And I praise New York City scammers. I love it so much. I've been scammed from New Yorkers in la. I've had my card number stolen from me, and it was little Brooklyn boys. Brooklyn is the heart of scams, and I love it so much. I had little Brooklyn boys, like, steal my identity.

[B]

Proud son. I'm a proud son.

[A]

Honestly, I love it. Truly. I want to get somebody from New York. I'm gonna get a scammer on here one day, like someone who's retired. But this is a New York guy. He's Italian American, upstate New Yorker. His name is Tommy Muscatello. Jun. And, like, what a name. You know, he's a junior. It's, like, ripe for scams. He spent all summer shopping out his expertise to the royal wedding. Media frenzy.

[B]

Oh, I know this scam under the

[A]

guise of Thomas J. Mace Chamil. So he even changed his name to be more British. Like he was Tommy Muscatello, you know? And then he was like, no, I'm Thomas Mace. Excuse me, Thomas J. Mais chamils.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So many names, so British. I'm into it. Honestly, when I get rich enough, I will become British. That's what happens. Madonna became British, like, so Many people like Lindsay Lohan became, like, Eastern European, which I was like, what is this? But I will become British.

[B]

Why you want to do that?

[A]

Because, like, that's the ultimate. Like, when you're so rich that you've lived on a continent, but you're not even talking. I've adopted the accent. I don't know. I live here. I have a house. I have a flat. I have a flat in London.

[B]

But you're not even doing the best. Like, the best. Like, do the black people British accent.

[A]

No, I don't want to sound like Idris Elba. Idris Elba is ghetto. I want to let everybody know that

[B]

that's the best accent.

[A]

Nobody knows Idris Elba's ghetto. And I know it because he did that fucking Stella Atoi commercial, and it was the first time he's had to talk in his British accent for a long period of time. I was like, this nigga is ghetto.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

He's a hood nigga, and he has fooled all of us because he's goddamn British. But he did this commercial. I still atois, mate. You got sip on that shit with your mouth, fam. Like, this nigga's ghetto.

[B]

That's why he did the Wire. He was doing the Wire to pay child support. Nobody knows that. It's true. He had a daughter back in England. He's like, yo, I need to book this role, bro. I got to pay. Also can't go back to the uk. That's a fact.

[A]

It is. It is. Idris is ghetto. Don't tell anyone, but Idris is a ghetto nigga, and I love it. He's a hood.

[B]

That's the best British accent.

[A]

It is. But it's like, real hood, though. I want to be, like, posh British. I. When I was living in London, I had an internship that became a scam because it was an unpaid internship, and the lady who was running it was. Was this British woman who wasn't from a rich area, but she was dating someone out of her class. Class is a big thing in London. And she was like, oh, his family hates me because I'm not, like, fancy. So she was, like, practicing, like, posh British language because she wanted to fit in with his family. And then she stopped showing up to work, and I just ran this business by myself, and I was 20. It was hilarious.

[B]

Well, I'm pretty sure that business is under now.

[A]

It's not because it's funded by the government in London. Every theater except for the ones in Leicester Square are funded by the.

[B]

Oh, no, Absolutely. Even though television is.

[A]

They fund art, which is insane. We don't do that.

[B]

Not at all.

[A]

But yeah. So he scammed his way into a number of mainstream outlets. He was like always decked out and all tweed. Very British. He now, this is where I didn't fuck with Tommy. He was calling Meghan Markle loud and advising her that as an American, she'll likely have trouble fitting in with the British lifestyle. He also reportedly has trouble speaking in an American accent now, even though he's from upstate New York. Yeah, I didn't like that because. Well, one, here's the thing. As a scammer, I understand where he was coming from. Because you got to lead in what the people want. And like everyone, when Meghan Markle got, you know, married to Henry or engaged to Prince Henry was like, oh, we always dreamed of being with this dude. I even dreamed of him. I was like, oh. You know. And I knew he liked black women. I saw how he looked at Michelle Obama and I was like, ooh, he like black bitches. Like, I got a chance. And he destroyed white women's fantasies when he proposed to Meghan Markle. Cause they were like, wait a minute, we are British white women. And Also Meghan is 30. Was 36 at the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so she was older for what, you know, people consider like the marrying age. She was once divorced. And they were mad. Of course they were mad.

[B]

Cause that was their dream. But here's what I think you're not realizing about homeboy's tactic. He's talking about himself. He's talking about himself. But he's making everyone put it all on Megan. So now no one's smoking him out. Cause he's pointing out Megan be like, oh, yo, she don't fit in right. That's kind of weird. That's kind of weird. She don't fit in at all.

[A]

She's so American.

[B]

She's so American. That's crazy.

[A]

It's almost like her name is Tommy Muscatello.

[B]

And everyone's like, yo, her name is Tommy Muscatello. We gotta fuck her up. And he's just like, damn, there we go. All the attention is off of myself.

[A]

You're right. He was like, she always wearing tweed. To see British.

[B]

She is always wearing tweed. Look at how she eats spaghetti. It's like she cooked it every day. That is how she eating that spaghetti.

[A]

You're right. You're absolutely right. He was like, I gotta get the heat off me.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

And so. And it was a little. He did you know, these are dog whistles for racism, of course, but also they're dog whistles for xenophobia of Americans. Like, Americans are generally loud. So, of course, like, I had to be quiet in London. I got on the tube and we didn't talk. Cause I was like, oh, on the tube, everyone just reads a newspaper and is quiet. I enjoyed that, man.

[B]

I'm so excited to go to that fucking city.

[A]

So Tommy's fascination with royalty began early. He grew up in Bolton Landing, New York, which sounds like a place where they do police brutality.

[B]

That's every place in New York.

[A]

Facts.

[B]

That's a New York chopped cheese and police brutality, bro.

[A]

The police will beat your ass course and stay employed. So he said, even my toys had a royal nature. I love that he aspired to this as a child. Because as children, like, if you have a goal, like, don't let that childlike wonder go away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, if you want to become British and that's your goal, why not?

[B]

I. I think that this whole story is weird because it sounds like one of Martin Scorsese's, like, failed pitches. It's like, yo, this is Italian New York kid who wants to become a part of the Royal Family. Like, what? This sounds terrible.

[A]

We need to let Martin make whatever movies he wants. So his father, Thomas Moscatello Sr. Said of teenage Tommy's obsession. He told me, dad, someday I want to move over there and be a part of what's going on.

[B]

They're like, be part of the family business. What?

[A]

That's not a job. I love a scammer. She's like, I want to be a part of what's going on. That's not a profession. That's not an employment. He's like, I will make it money. And I love a scammer because you can make anything money. People don't tell you that. That, but you can make anything money. That's why people are mad at Millennials. They're like, oh, they're Instagram influencers. I'm like, they making money? They made Instagram money. Make something money. I love a scammer who makes something money. So his High School Musical teacher, Jim Miller, remembers him as Mr. Sourberry in the production of Oliver. Tommy plowed into a Georgette. A Georgian era history, he said, was also able to learn duplicate. Oh. So was also able to learn and duplicate a British accent and the appropriate mannerisms for his character. You gotta respect from his own research.

[B]

You gotta respect young.

[A]

He started studying being British as a child.

[B]

Give it to Him. Give it to him.

[A]

I played lots of British people in plays. I also played a young Jewish girl.

[B]

And now you Jewish.

[A]

Yeah. I learned all the prayers because there were no black people at my. No, there were no Jewish people at my school. There were no diversity. And I was the only black girl. So I got to play every diverse part. So I also got to be a little Jewish girl.

[B]

What play was this?

[A]

It's called Remember My name. Honestly, I think it was a ripoff of what's her name? The most famous Jewish girl.

[B]

Barbra Streisland.

[A]

No, she's not the most famous Jewish girl.

[B]

Yeah, she is. Oh. I was like, if you think about Frank, she's not. Come on, Lacey.

[A]

It was low key. A bootleg of Anna Frank. And I got to be.

[B]

That's not her name. Her name was Anne Frank.

[A]

And to.

[B]

You can't be walking around calling her the most famous Jewish girl. I think that that's very weird. Like, that'd be someone like, hey, yo, you know that most famous black boy, Emmett Emmett Till? You know the most famous black boy? He's the most famous black boy around. Everyone knows his name. You go anywhere, you say Emmett Till. I know him.

[A]

And she is the most black.

[B]

No, she's. You can't call her that.

[A]

That's not disrespectful. It's not disrespectful. She is the most famous Jewish girl. That's respect on her name. That's respect because she is. I remember her. I love her. I loved her diary.

[B]

That's weird, bro.

[A]

I Stan, Fran, Frank. I do. She's a queen. But so I understand this, like, learning from youth, like, how to, like, be what this thing is, you want to be.

[B]

Decision.

[A]

So Thomas began his accent with close friends and then sometimes addressed them with God save the Queen. So he, like, warmed this up on

[B]

this thing, got beat up practicing on people.

[A]

This is. As a comedian, I will say there's been low key times, not even low key, that I've roped in news jokes. I'm trying out in settings.

[B]

Yeah, well, the weird parts that you put up a mic stand and everything while we just hanging out at Birds, everyone's like, yo, we're just trying to eat our meal. What else, what else, what else, what else, what else?

[A]

No, we're talking. We're talking. What'd you say? Your mom found a node.

[B]

Where are you guys from? Ohio. That's a flyover state.

[A]

Right. So he started trying it out on his friends, which. Yes. So he eventually started a firm an imperial International Group in 2009. And he was calling himself Thomas J. Muscatella Delacroix.

[B]

Delacroix.

[A]

Delacroix. Like Delaghetto, but Delacroix.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I don't know if that's the comparison, but which.

[A]

Which said helped his French Canadian clients. So this is after he graduated from Coastal Carolina University in Myrtle beach, which doesn't sound like a real university.

[B]

Not at all.

[A]

Sounds like a place that they teach you how to scam guys. If you went to Coastal Carolina University in Myrtle beach, write in scam [e-mail]. i want to know if your school is a scam, because I think it is. He earned degrees in politics and history and then he fell into real estate, which. Which is a huge scammer. Like Arena. Real estate is the biggest scammer job. I know so many real estate agents. I almost have a real estate degree myself or license because, like, it's such a scam. And I was like, I need parts. I literally was studying to get a real estate license. I was like, this is how I can fund my acting. Is like, do this scam on the side.

[B]

Real estate, well, they scammed so hard that they almost bankrupted our entire nation.

[A]

Yep. We've let real estate really have a hold on us. 2008.

[B]

You want this house? Can you afford it? Don't worry about it.

[A]

So he was doing real estate and this is why he named his company Thomas J. Muscatella Delacroix because he was trying to get like French Canadian people. You know, he's upstate so that we're very close to Canada and New York. And that's how he, you know, was finessing people. He called his one story suburban home Rowsden House, gave it a name. Love the branding. And he hung a Union Jack.

[B]

That's too much.

[A]

A Union Jack is a British flag. So he hung that shit out of his house as if he was British. That's too, I mean, low key America. We're from Britain, right? We are. We are the original scammers because n came over here and we're like, we going to explore, you know, for y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

And then came over here and like, oh, we got a whole country actually. We gonna stop paying taxes and we gonna become our own country.

[B]

Lacey, that's a very. You condense 300 to 400 years of history into very. Two very dangerous things.

[A]

America's are scammers. We're scammers. So after his business folded in the recession, like you brought up like the realtors, real estate haters at their neighbors, and they destroyed our country. So his business folded in the recession. He started to spend more time in the UK and he relocated there in 2012. He considers his British grandfather to be George Mills, a former Grandiere guard living in Cadabury, who he literally met outside of the Buckingham Palace. So he met this outside of Buckingham palace was like, you're my grandfather. What? So he met this man outside of the Buckingham palace.

[B]

And.

[A]

And Mr. Mills says, I could tell he wasn't very happy in the United States. So he's just like. Scammers are very charismatic people. They know how to appeal to what people want. Of course, when you're old, you become way less valuable. And everywhere but Asia pretty much like Asian culture. They let their grandparents, like, live with them and shit. Like, we put our grandparents in the home.

[B]

Yeah. That's not Haitian culture. Haitian culture, your grandparents live with you forever.

[A]

Right?

[B]

My mom is already planning to live

[A]

with me, and it's very respected. It's honestly, like, deeply respected. I'll probably have my mom live with me in a wing or a house outside of my house. She already is trying to live with me. Mom comes to LA all the time. I love it because I genuinely want to be around my mom as much as possible. I'm obsessed. That's because I think she raised me to be obsessed with her. My mom's a scammer.

[B]

Yeah. No. Yeah, definitely.

[A]

My mom's had so many jobs. My mom was like a background singer for Kirk Franklin. She has a license in cosmetology. She's a vice president of HR for the UT hospital systems. My mom has had so many jobs. Like, she used to work on the radio. I can't even. Like, there's too many jobs. She cooks very, very well, has worked in several jobs, like just making food, and then started making her own recipes. She had a chili day at Dairy Queen where people would come and buy her own chili from the Dairy Qu.

[B]

Somebody needs to get fired.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know if she was even giving Dairy Queen the money. I think she was selling her own chili, that she was making a Dairy

[B]

Queen, pocketing all the money. That's. That's.

[A]

My mom's food is very clean. We have a very clean kitchen.

[B]

It's not about that. It's more about corporate regulations than that. This woman came in.

[A]

My mom should be able to sell chili and Dairy Queen if she wants.

[B]

Nope. We have safeguards.

[A]

So I get. I totally get this. So it's like, you're 83. You feel like you've been discarded. This charming scammer man is now taking an interest in your life. Life. And you let him be your grandson.

[B]

Yeah. You're just like, oh, I've never felt wanted before.

[A]

Right. Or at least not in a long time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then he becomes Mr. Mace Acha Mills. So he takes on this man's last name.

[B]

But this nigga's grandpa is probably alive, like his real grandpa.

[A]

Yeah, probably. You know, white people live a long time. Honestly, white people have way less stress. They live longer than blacks. They do.

[B]

I think guilt keeps you alive.

[A]

Does it?

[B]

Yeah, man. I feel like Kirk Douglas is just alive thinking about all the. You know, I'm not gonna say what I was gonna say.

[A]

I think evil keeps you alive because I have an evil auntie, and she. No, she's evil as shit. And she is alive. She survived everyone else in my family. She had 13 siblings. They're all dead. My aunt Charlene is still alive, and she is a monster. She's like, I used to have to clean her house as a kid because my par. Rude. Like, because they had money and I grew up not being poor. They were like, we have to recreate poor for you, so go clean your Aunt Charlene's house. And I was like, what? Why?

[B]

I'm gonna tell them that despite their best efforts, that did not land. That did not land. You still act rich. As they tried hard. They ain't try hard enough.

[A]

No, I'm better than my sister. My sister was rude. I was like, oh, I'm gonna give you. She's turning 16 in two days. And I was like, I'm gonna give you you $500. But like, I know, I said, I'm going to buy you a present, but the cap is $500. She sends me a list of 12 links of shit she wants. It's going to add up to 12 to $500.

[B]

That's just smart.

[A]

No, but you know why she did it? Because at first she goes, just give me the money. And I was like, you're 16. I can't give you $500. You get hooked on Oxycontin. And she was like, okay, well, then I'll send you a list of the things I want. She 12 fucking things. She's a goddamn scammer.

[B]

Scam.

[A]

Then she knew it was gonna be too much work for me, and I was just gonna send her the money. I rude.

[B]

Now she gonna get that oxy. Have a good weekend.

[A]

No, my sister nerd she saw stuffed animals.

[B]

That's the exact kids who were doing Oxy. You think it's the jocks doing oxy? They gotta play sports.

[A]

So I'm laughing directly into the microphone. So sorry, guys. All right, so he changes his name to Mr. Mace Archer Mills. And he goes, I found out where I'm supposed to be and who I'm supposed to be. So he's finally in London. He's found a fake grandfather to trace his name back to. And he's up. And in 2012, he relocated to the UK and he formed a British monarchist society whose aim was preserving the monarchy, which holds events and enrolls members and takes donations.

[B]

This dude ain't no shit about the monarchy. No. From America. Preserve what?

[A]

But think about it in history. Like, yeah, I live in America and I know American history because it's like shoved down my throat. Well, at least what the white man wanted to tell us. You know, I went to. I'm going on so many tangents, but I went to Malibu Wine and they have this cave there that I think they painted themselves. I know a scam when I see it. And it was like old Indian drawings. And this white dude was telling us, he was like, yeah, this is from when the Spanish came to America. And the Indians were so impressed. They had never seen fire before and they'd never seen horses before. He literally was telling us that Indian people were just so impressed by white Spanish people. And I was like, this is made up.

[B]

Yeah, that's definitely made up. Maybe the horses thing, but everything else is trash.

[A]

But we get shoved fake history down our throats because the winner gets to tell the story.

[B]

That's right, George. That's George W. Bush right there.

[A]

But think about how much you actually do deep dives on American history. Cause you just give a fuck. I don't do that.

[B]

Oh. I do it all the time. I was doing it the other day.

[A]

If someone came to Britain and had studied a bunch of shit, they probably could get away with this. Because I don't think most people are that fascinating.

[B]

Most people don't care about their history.

[A]

Fascinated with their history.

[B]

No, it's why most people think that Abraham Lincoln was like the hero of the Civil War.

[A]

He's not the hero. I had a woke ass history teacher who was like, he freed the slaves. Cause he fucking had to. Cause it was like a fucking obligation.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

It was not. Cuz he wanted niggas to be free.

[B]

He was reluctant about it the whole time.

[A]

You can't keep counting these people as Voters.

[B]

Yeah, that's exactly what it was. And then on top of that, he was just like, yo, look, he came to Frederick Douglass and was just like, look, is there any way I can convince y'? All, I myself will spend my own money and buy y' all a plot of land in Central America. If y'. All. Let's all go there.

[A]

You niggas leave.

[B]

No, that's fucking stupid.

[A]

He was like, listen to me, friend. Friend. Fred, Freddie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you dig us leave?

[B]

He begged, bro. And Fred Douglas was like, that's stress.

[A]

White people don't want us to leave. That's the biggest secret of America is white people think that they want us to leave, but they love us. They're obsessed with us. They won't leave us alone.

[B]

You know what? But this dude is giving me an idea that I might go ahead and start, like, a white preservation center where we got to preserve the white.

[A]

You could make so much money. White people will pay for hate. White people love nothing more than hate. They've built a culture off of it. White culture is just hating other people.

[B]

And I won't ever show up. I'll just have my name be on it. Oh, Edgar Mop was there. And then I'll have a white dude. I have a white dude show up and be me.

[A]

You would make so much money. I'm down for this scam. Please let me know, Lacey. I will attach my name as well. So, yeah, he creates this. This system. And he's very personable, says everyone, and a perfectly normal person. These are quotes. He began building a public Persona in London, starting a radio show on the royals and suing news releases and events, eventually doing media interviews and getting paid for some of them. And so in 2015, he began publishing Crown and Country magazine. Sounds legit. Two Cs, you know, I love alliteration. And he dedicated it to Royal Topics. In April, a publisher. The publisher launched a royal themed cryptocurrency. So, you know, he's a scammer. All right, a left. Like, real left field here.

[B]

That's a step too far. That's why he got caught.

[A]

Truly is a step too far. So he launches a cryptocurrency, and he calls it the Royal Coin. Good name. I would get Royal Coin. Sounds like it's gonna be money.

[B]

So, man, I got so many questions. I'm sorry. I got so many questions. When I apply for a job here, I have to prove that I'm a U.S. citizen, right? Did no one else be like, yo, it's weird that he's handing in a US passport with every job that he's applying for out here.

[A]

But he's also doing shit that's like, I didn't give anyone a passport to start a podcast.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Radio is wild land.

[B]

That is true. He might not have had to be an actual employ employee of the place. That's true.

[A]

So he's doing this. He has a cryptocurrency. The website tracking sales show few transactions. Although Mr. Mace Archer Mills says that the currency was doing well. Having only just started as a scammer would like. I would be like, yeah, it's just

[B]

like Bitcoin Scam Goddess is the best podcast around.

[A]

Of course it's number one on iTunes.

[B]

It's never been released, but

[A]

honestly, I have the most publicity for a podcast that hasn't been released.

[B]

It bothers me all the time. Someone's like, when is the show coming out? Like, nigga, you'll know. It'll be on your app. You search for it on the app, you couldn't find it, so it's not out.

[A]

I love how enthusiastic the people who listen to this show.

[B]

Are there more episodes? No. You look on your app and it's not. That's the answer, bro. You think you go tweet at hers? You're like, oh, yeah, it's on another website you never heard of before.

[A]

I gotta keep interest up. Okay? I gotta. I got people on a wild goose chase.

[B]

I've been hiding them. I didn't want anyone to find out unless they asked. Asked me.

[A]

So, yeah, so I get it. I get how this is shrouded in secrecy and yeah, you have cryptocurrency. Why not? I think it is a big leap, though, to go from like, I'm a wedding advisor to I have a cryptocurrency. So he sounded like someone from London or the home counties trying to sound posher than he is, says Jason Nice, a British public relations executive who set up the event. I certainly didn't know that he was originally a man American. So basically he had two accents going on. He was basically like a basic ass British trying to sound rich. Like my. The room. I said I worked at the theater and I was date not dating. I was with someone who was dating someone richer and was trying to sound richer. So basically he got to the level of like, I sound like a poor British person trying to be a rich British person. Which means he really was deep in the scam.

[B]

That's a deep scam when you get caught on some. That's Just not even you.

[A]

So here's his biggest heist, the Royal wedding. In his posh British accent, Mr. Mace Arson Mills told Norway's TV2, the most important aspect is keeping his integrity, keeping formality, and making sure that traditions and heritage that we have as British people remain at the forefront. We're making world history. So basically he was make America great again.

[B]

But for British people, man, what's crazy is that they call him into the office and they're just like, yo, we caught you. And he's like, fuck, we know that you, a poor British person trying to be a rich British person.

[A]

They never caught him for what he really was. I love it. So Tommy made it past the wedding day without a single authentic Brit sniffing him out. And he's defended the monarchy on BBC radio. I think it's because he's so deeply entrenched in, like, the culture of, like, defending being British, because, you know, people hate change, so if you're appealing to their sensibilities, they're less likely to be trying to snuff you out. It's like Trump. Trump is a rich who was like the biggest scammer because he scammed poor whites. No one is scamming poor whites harder than rich whites.

[B]

I mean, you know what this is though, right? This is that. This is that first sketch that Chappelle ever did, which is the Clayton Bigsby where it's the blind black man. Everyone would be like, why would I think that it was a black man under that hood? Why would that thought ever come? So they're just like, why would we ever assume that this guy was American? He's caping so hard for us.

[A]

Like, he was caping so hard. So he was caping so hard for the British people. Um, so when he was interviewed by Tori Shulman, a reporter from the Daily Blast, regarding the royal wedding, they quickly became friendly and went out for drinks afterwards, befriending the press and people who can out you. Number one scammer tactic. They went out to a private high ranking club for expensive drinks and at the end of the night, he left the check with Tory. So he went out, he took her to a very fancy place and then stiffed her with the bill. Reporters don't make no money.

[B]

Is that how she got caught? Is that how he got caught? She probably was just like, I'm investigating

[A]

the shit out of this right now. She was mad. She pulled her pin out, she licked the tip and she started writing.

[B]

Yeah, they went into the meeting next day. All right, what story are we working On I went out last night and this guy left me with the bill. I'mma him up.

[A]

Him up.

[B]

Well, Brexit's happening. We could talk about that. Anyone want to work on story on that? Nah, I want to. This nigga's life.

[A]

So he gets caught because the Wall Street Journal outed him.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

In May. So he gets caught by the Wall Street Journal in late May. Yes, cuz he pissed off people in the news. And this is the Daily Blast. Tori Shulman. But I guess the Daily Blast tip they had or.

[B]

Yeah, no, she was like. She called him up. Hey, yo, I got a story that you'll never forget.

[A]

So Bradley Hope at the Wall Street Journal Journal responded actually to us. We DM'd him. And this is like his response, which is kind of crazy. I'm like, scam goddess. People are responding to dms.

[B]

Okay, so that should worry you that a journalist is just responding to a podcast he's never listened to.

[A]

Yeah, I'll give you guys my podcast is a scam. We have been doing episodes that aren't released for so long and he still responds.

[B]

I DM my own friends and they don't respond to me. You got this journalist like give you a quote.

[A]

So Brad, we have Hope says. I suppose he got caught because I suspected he wasn't who he said he was. And I investigated him, I looked him up and his corporate record said American. And that made me super suspicious.

[B]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

Cuz he was claiming to be British. Makes sense, he said. Then I checked his Facebook history and saw references to his real name deep in the history. Then I used a public record searches to find his dad who innocently and accidentally gave away the whole story.

[B]

Damn, bro. That's literally some godfather taste.

[A]

Going to be the death of all of us.

[B]

Italian American type bro. His dad, his own family.

[A]

Right? My own family.

[B]

Fredo, I know what you did.

[A]

Oh God. So there's some fun facts here. An. An elderly British man and a woman agreed to call him their grandson. That's how he got his name, which I think is hilarious. He applied for British citizenship. He was still pending.

[B]

He was pending. Nobody just turned that down immediately.

[A]

What?

[B]

There are people who have come to this country and fought so hard to try to get citizenship. And this nigga was pending in England just because he wanted to be.

[A]

Just because he wanted to be. I love it. I love the privilege. He speaks of early years in Kent, a county in southern England where I learned to ride my horse. He never lived in Kent, nigga.

[B]

He Was in a bodega buying wise chips. Shut the fuck up.

[A]

He was in Kent fake riding a horse.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

He cried. Created this book that he sells on Amazon, and it's currently sold out. It's called Their Majesty's Mixers and Royal Drinkology.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Is a mixologist. And honestly, being a mixologist is a scam.

[B]

Yeah, that's a scam, bro. Anybody can make alcoholic drinks.

[A]

Truly.

[B]

Truly. Just give me some orange juice and some liquor.

[A]

All right, well, that's not. That's called a screwdriver.

[B]

No, that's called a. It's called a roll Royal drink.

[A]

Mace Archer Mills has been a frequent commentator from London over the past few years. So he was on news and, like, you know, like those petty. Like, basically, the E. News is of Britain talking about royalty, even though he don't know. Look at him. He was commenting on the royal wedding.

[B]

This is recent.

[A]

This is in 2018. He was still a legitimate commentator, but once you look at him, he looks British.

[B]

Yeah, he looks.

[A]

You know, some people just look British. British. He's got, like, big cheeks and he's got weird teeth, but.

[B]

No, no, he don't have that weird teeth, though. Look up. Look up his. Look at his teeth. They're not great. They're not great. But then I look up British teeth.

[A]

Does everyone from upstate New York look like they're British?

[B]

No.

[A]

Yo, but he's probably a descendant of British people.

[B]

He's literally Italian. Okay, look at British teeth. British teeth are wild.

[A]

They are really wild.

[B]

Oh, all right.

[A]

That's probably what gave him away.

[B]

Yeah, they were looking at his teeth, and they're just like, this nigga's not British.

[A]

All right, guys, we're gonna take a legitimate break. All right, guys, we're back, and it's the end of the show. So sad. I love Edgar so much. I don't want to let you go. This is the scammer of the week. So every week we take time to highlight just a. A notorious charlatan, you know, and give them praise.

[B]

Is that what charlatan means?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I thought it was just a dance.

[A]

That's the Charleston.

[B]

Well, never mind. I guess I was wrong when I asked that girl, hey, you want a charlatan with me?

[A]

Yeah. She was probably very deeply confused. A man faked a heart attack inside a Florida Walmart store so his friend could steal toys. And I love this one because it's fun. The kids. And do I say fuck them kids a lot. I say fuck them kids all the time.

[B]

How you know Those toys were for them kids. You don't know who, what they were going to do with those toys.

[A]

I'm assuming they were for the kids.

[B]

They were just like, we need these toys. We don't. We're not going to say what for.

[A]

So the men, 30 year old Tara Scott and 27 year old Janard Dupre, which is a great scammer name, were arrested Tuesday on grand theft charges. The Polk county sheriff officer says the men filed a shop, filled a shopping cart with a motorized power wheel Barbie car. So this is like big shit. Yeah, like a Barbie car is huge.

[B]

That's a big ass thing.

[A]

And leapfrog tablets, which is basically the ipod for kids or the iPad for children.

[B]

But it's all educational games.

[A]

Right. Barbie, glam, vacation, house.

[B]

These are all big things.

[A]

Like that's why they did a heart attack.

[B]

They couldn't steal no action figures and

[A]

they walk through the store together. So basically Taurus Scott got on the ground. I was like, my heart, my chest.

[B]

You say he's 30 years old? Yeah, that's why they got caught. They're like looking at him like, yeah, how you have a heart attack with a full head of hair, Right?

[A]

You look like you on Riverdale, nigga.

[B]

Shut the fuck up. You ain't having no heart attack. Oh, I'm having a heart attack.

[A]

No you not. That's gas.

[B]

Someone get my apple watch.

[A]

That was gas, sir.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You ate a burrito. Yeah. No one believed the heart attack. They needed an older person to fake the heart attack. You're right, because if he was older, they would have been like, get this

[B]

man to the hospital and they would have gotten him toys.

[A]

I think that was the flaw in this scam is they were too young.

[B]

They're too young.

[A]

Yeah. You needed adopt a grandfather like my homie Tommy did and have him do the heart attack.

[B]

Everybody would have ran.

[A]

Oh yes.

[B]

Get a old white man life alert. Yeah, I've fallen and I can't get up. Everyone be like, hurry up, stop what you're doing.

[A]

Honestly, if you're old, you don't even have to fake a heart attack. You just be like, I've fallen and I can't my hip. And we'll all be like, the store would clear out. Yeah. They tried to make off with these big ticket items after faking a attack. Heart. Heart attack. Honestly, I think if the items had been smaller, they would have gotten away with it.

[B]

Oh, of course, cuz. Walmart don't care.

[A]

Also, you're two grown ass men like walking out with girl child toys.

[B]

Yes. A big. And look, the guy. Say his name again.

[A]

His name is Taurus Scott. And the other guy's name is Janard Dupre.

[B]

So these are black guys? 100%. They were black guys. They were. His name is Taurus Scott.

[A]

I need to know.

[B]

And the other guy, Janard Dupre, is probably be Haitian. I don't know.

[A]

Jermaine Dupree.

[B]

They sound black.

[A]

We got to see if they're black.

[B]

Let's see if they're black. I told you, bro. They're Haitian. I knew that. So you see two big ass. Ha. You see two big ass Haitian walking through the store with Barbie toys. Of course they got caught.

[A]

Red flag, yo. They're very Haitian. Look at those. Look at that hair.

[B]

Look at that hair, bro. This got caught. Oh, I'm sorry, yo.

[A]

Also, why are y' all stealing these toys? Maybe those for Christmas.

[B]

Christmas?

[A]

Do we have a date on this? Do we have a date this? That December 18th. This was for Christmas.

[B]

It was for Christmas.

[A]

You know, they have several children by seven different women.

[B]

Okay, Lacey, that's too far.

[A]

No, Haitian men are notorious for having multiple wives. And I still love Haitian men.

[B]

That's not true. Haitian men.

[A]

But I know if I'm dating a Haitian man that he's gonna have another family, and I have to be okay with that.

[B]

That's not true. Haitian men don't cheat. That's a fact.

[A]

I'll get out of here.

[B]

Look it up on Twitter.

[A]

Haitian men have several families. And I'm not.

[B]

Haitian men don't cheat.

[A]

I'm telling you.

[B]

Telling you, they don't cheat.

[A]

Bro, I have two best friends who are Haitian and one, unfortunately, his father passed. And when his father passed, they found out about his other family. They always have other families.

[B]

Haitian men don't.

[A]

But Haitian men work hard because they support all their families. And I love it, okay? I love a hard work.

[B]

Google it right now.

[A]

Support all your families.

[B]

Haitian men don't cheat.

[A]

And nothing's going to come up. Haitian men, it's. They don't consider it cheating. It's like they just have multiple families. Amor Cleo, we can't trust this website. It's literally called Love Creole. No, no. And honestly, I think you guys made that website to try to defend the fact that y' all be cheating. Yeah, well, it's okay. It's not called cheating when you're just maintaining several families.

[B]

That's God given, right?

[A]

Oh, my God, Edgar, this has been amazing.

[B]

Oh, that's very kind.

[A]

I love you so much. I love Edgar so, so much. So this is a real treat to have him and just, like, force him to hang out with me for an hour.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where can we find you?

[B]

I guess where do you want to

[A]

be found is the question.

[B]

You can find me on Twitter, Mopozir. You can find me on Instagram, Fulgram. I got this podcast on Stitch, a premium that I did with the boy Zig, called the Wokest.

[A]

It's amazing.

[B]

Probably the thing I'm the most proud of in my life.

[A]

It's fantastic.

[B]

Listen, not even my son. I'm not even proud of my son.

[A]

He debuted a son on Instagram this weekend. That's honestly how I want to debut my children. Children. I'm gonna. Because I'm not having my kids with my own body. I don't know if I've told you guys this yet, but, like, it'll ruin me. I've seen my family. It'll ruin me. My mom had a tummy tuck. Good for her. I just can't do it. I'm gonna pay a woman to live in my basement. And, you know, she can save my child now.

[B]

She can live wherever she wants to live. That's. You know. She don't have to live with you. No.

[A]

It's gonna be a whole Beyonce fiasco. And then I'm gonna debut my baby skin to skin at the hospital in a gown just like Gabrielle Union did, and just be like, my little miracle people, like, when you were. When were you pregnant? And I'm never gonna answer any questions.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I've planned this. Babies cost a hundred thousand a pop. And I'm gonna make the money to have my babies.

[B]

I've never been more disturbed in my life. And I record a time traveling podcast in this very room.

[A]

All right, guys, that's the end of this episode of Scam Goddess Congregation. I love you. You can find us us at Scam Goddess Pod.

[B]

They killing Zig. They killing Zig in the booth.

[A]

You can find us at Scam Goddess Pod on Twitter and on Instagram. You can also email [e-mail] Please send us your scams. I adore your scams so much. And, guys, you can find me at Divalacy D I V A L A C I Divalacy at all the platforms, including Venmo. Send me money, guys. I love you. Bye.