Scam Goddess Podcast - "The Criminally Morbid Mortician" w/ Harvey Guillén

Release Date: October 28, 2025
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Harvey Guillén
Episode Theme:
A hilariously grim deep dive into the wildest funeral home scam in Los Angeles history, featuring tales of childhood hustles, the bizarre rise and fall of David Sconce—the mortician who turned cremation into a criminal enterprise—and the darkly comic ways scammers prey on grief.

Episode Overview

This special Halloween episode explores the infamous real-life case of David Sconce, a mortician who treated the funeral industry more like a Silicon Valley startup—ramping up cremations, skimming gold from dental work, and quite literally stuffing bodies to maximize profits. Actor Harvey Guillén joins host Laci Mosley in this comedic true-con caper, also sharing his own scam-adjacent childhood work stories and dissecting what makes a good (or bad) scam.

Highlights and Key Discussion Points

1. Spooky Season and Guest Introduction

• [02:45] Laci introduces Harvey Guillén, highlighting his role on "What We Do in the Shadows" and accomplishments as a groundbreaking queer Latinx actor.
• Quip:
  • Laci: “Would you climb down into a sewer with me?”
  • Harvey: “If it was spooky enough—I might!”

2. Childhood Scams and Selling Chocolate: Harvey's Early Hustle

• [07:27] Harvey recounts hustling as a child for acting class money by lying about his age to get work. Ends up working for (what he later realizes was) a shady chocolate-selling operation run by a local scammer.

  • Harvey describes the scammer's business model: buying cheap candy, selling at high prices using sympathetic kids, paying them pennies.

• Notable Quote

  • Harvey: “We were kids and we're desperate. He gives you $1.25 [on a $5 sale], he keeps the rest. I became really good at it… eventually I was a junior manager.” [12:36]

• [13:21] Harvey describes the rickety “safety system”—using sidewalk chalk to trace routes so if someone’s missing, you’d know where to look.

  • Laci: “What in the hopscotch HR is this?”

• [14:07] Sharing tips was forbidden because “the boss” wanted to control all profits. Harvey learns to take secret tips but gets anxious about being caught.

  • “I collected tips, sometimes I would go home with way more tips than actual sales.” [17:12]

• [19:08] Harvey details the turning point: seeing the boss physically wrestle a teenager for keeping a tip.

  • Laci: “That man is a pimp.”
  • Harvey: "That is a pimp. … If I’m that good at selling, I could get a job that doesn’t put me in danger late at night.”

3. Good Vibes Win Tips: Life Lessons from the Hustle

• [24:13] Laci and Harvey compare service industry stories, riffing on how waitstaff personalities affect tips, and reading table "energies" (including running up the tab for couples about to break up!).
  • Harvey: “Every table was a bit. … All I want is that tip. ...I want to make sure you left happy, at whatever that capacity means for you.” [26:45]

4. Transition: Real-Life Scary Scams—David Sconce, the Morbid Mortician

• [30:12] Laci introduces the true con of the week: David Sconce, who ran his family’s beloved funeral home into a nightmare operation in Pasadena, CA during the 1980s.

5. The Sconce Scam: Turning Cremation into a Conveyor Belt

Background

• [31:24] David Sconce, shut out of a football career after a freak injury, joins the family funeral business and takes over cremations.
• Family legacy: Lamb Funeral Home, operating since 1920s and respected in LA.

Cutting Corners

• [42:15] Sconce uses a Dodge van, not a hearse, to fetch bodies from all over California, offering cut-rate cremations for $55 each—hundreds less than standard rates.
• Scandalous Scaling:
  • Prior managers did ~4 cremations/day. By 1984, Sconce runs 4,300 in a year, packing up to 15 bodies into a single oven, breaking bones as needed.
  • Harvey: “That’s not physically possible... breaking limbs.” [47:47]

Grisly Details & Grave Robbing

• [48:19] Sconce and his hired (sometimes crack-using) right-hand man compete to shove more bodies per burn, regularly mixing ashes and returning random remains to families.

• He also grave-robs gold teeth and jewelry, even naming the process “Poppin Chops.”

  • Laci: “Why do you have a name for it?”
  • Harvey: “You titled it!” [51:24]

• Portfolio: Clothes hanger of rings, bowl of gold teeth; claimed $20K/month from dental gold alone.

• Sconce’s ghoulish lack of remorse: “Dead people are just rotten meat.” [52:12]

  • His vanity license plate: I BURN 4 U.

6. The Rival Mortician and Big Men Unlimited

• Tim Waters, a competitor, blows the whistle after noticing Sconce’s suspiciously high volume.
• Reprisal: Sconce has thugs (his football friends, dubbed “Big Men Unlimited”) physically assault Tim and a trade magazine publisher.
  • Laci: “Not you gonna leave a card on me... Big Men Unlimited is crazy.” [56:08]
  • Harvey (riff): “Sounds like a dating site!” [56:10]
• Tim later dies under "mysterious circumstances" after dining with Sconce; many suspect poisoning, though officially ruled a heart attack at age 24.

7. Downfall: Too Greedy to Stop

• After Sconce’s crematorium burns down (thanks to his cracked-out assistant leaving it on), he continues collecting bodies but with nowhere to cremate them.
• Oscar Ceramics: Neighbors eventually report the smell of burning human flesh at his desert warehouse.
  • Harvey: “There's nothing out there. You go there so no one finds you.” [60:59]
• Sconce, his parents, and wife are eventually convicted of mutilation, illegal dismemberment, organ theft, forging donor forms, and more.
  • Sconce does five years for mutilating bodies, mass cremations, and hiring hitmen (“Big Men Unlimited”).
  • His parents serve ~3.5 years for illegal body part removal and forgery.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 07:39 | Harvey | "I've been part of scams... When I was in elementary school, I wanted to pay for acting classes... So I called and I scammed them, and I was like, yeah, I'm 13." | | 14:07 | Laci | “What in the hopscotch HR is this?” | | 17:12 | Harvey | “I collected tips, sometimes I would go home with way more tips than actual sales.” | | 19:08 | Laci | “That man is a pimp.” | | 26:45 | Harvey | "Every table was a bit... All I want is that tip... I want you to leave happy, whatever that means." | | 42:15 | Laci | "Y’all don’t got a hearse?" | | 47:47 | Harvey | “That’s not physically possible... breaking limbs.” | | 51:24 | Laci | “Why do you have a name for it?” Harvey: “You titled it!” | | 52:12 | Laci | (on Sconce's vanity plate I BURN 4 U) “Why would you put that as your vanity plate? Like, that’s so weird.” | | 56:08 | Laci | “Not you gonna leave a card on me... Big Men Unlimited is crazy.” | | 56:10 | Harvey | “Sounds like a dating site too!” | | 62:54 | Laci | "How are you just going to decide my family member is going to be cremated because you want them to...?” | | 64:22 | Laci | “You’re a bad man. Your whole family is bad.” |

Important Timestamps and Segment Breakdown

• 02:45 — Guest intro & spooky banter
• 07:27 – 19:29 — Harvey’s childhood chocolate hustle, the scam behind it, and learning vibe/tip work
• 30:12 – 64:22 — The Sconce case: family business origins, how David Sconce scaled a mortuary scam, key conspirators, rival mortician/whistleblower drama, and the legal comeuppance
• 51:24, 56:08, 62:54 — Peak comic moments & quotable lines worth revisiting

Concluding Thoughts

• Laci and Harvey reflect on both the disturbing audacity and the darkly comic absurdity of the Sconce story, reminding listeners how greed repeatedly pushes scammers over the line.
• Harvey delivers wisdom from his family:
  • “I wish you the day you deserve. … If you’ve done good or bad, that’ll settle it.” [27:29]

Where to Find the Hosts & Guest

• Harvey Guillén: @harveyguillen on Instagram & Twitter
  (“Not at a funeral home, that’s for sure!” [64:36])
• Laci Mosley: @divalaci on all platforms
• Show Updates: @ScamGoddessPod on all socials

Final Word

A perfect Halloween treat: scam comedy meets true crime with great comedic chemistry, a truly jaw-dropping historical fraud, and hard-earned life lessons about agency, vibes, and not letting scammers (or morticians) take more than what’s decent.
Stay schemin’!