The Death Defying Duper Mark Olmsted w/ Jamie Loftus (Re-Release)

Summary

Scam Goddess: "The Death-Defying Duper Mark Olmsted" w/ Jamie Loftus

Release Date: May 5, 2026
Guest: Jamie Loftus
Main Theme: Deep dive into the real-life exploits of Mark Olmsted, a prolific scammer who manipulated the system for decades, exploiting everything from Social Security to life insurance, all under the shadow of the AIDS crisis.

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Episode Overview

In this re-released classic, Laci Mosley brings comedian, writer, and podcaster Jamie Loftus onto the show for a wild, hilarious, and at times shocking examination of the life and scams of Mark Olmsted. They discuss how Olmsted navigated the AIDS epidemic, multiple fraudulent identities, and a truly death-defying array of legal and moral loopholes. The conversation blends comedy and incredulity while highlighting the strangely resourceful, convoluted world of professional con artists.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Scam Types & Personal Scam Styles (02:03–08:30)

• “What’s Hot in Fraud” segment: Laci and Jamie break down current scams, particularly appeals for help that turn out to be email or password theft.
• Jamie confesses she's most vulnerable to scams appealing to empathy.
  • “I fall for like the Nigerian prince scams of just like, I need. It would be so helpful if you... A stranger would be so disappointed in you.” — Jamie Loftus [05:45]
• Laci identifies as an "incentive scammer": she’s more susceptible to scams promising a return.
• Both hosts joke about the types of email addresses that attract scams, riffing on their own embarrassing early emails for comic effect.
• They joke about the digital ecosystem’s vulnerability:
  • “Google is the biggest scam... my life fell apart. My calendar stopped working. I was like, where do I be? What do I do?” — Laci Mosley [06:46]

2. Mensa: Elitism as a Scam (08:30–13:17)

• Jamie’s experience joining Mensa (for an article) turns darkly comedic, revealing Mensa’s ego-driven, fee-based exclusivity as its own kind of grift.
  • “A high IQ society that you need to pay eighty dollars to join is a scam…” — Jamie Loftus [08:48]
• Mensa’s testing and social hierarchy: easy-to-pass tests, pricey fees, elitist merchandise (the "Brain Pool" Deadpool parody tee).
• The psychological hooks of exclusivity in con artistry:
  • “Confidence, like, to a point of egomaniac, is necessary.” — Laci Mosley [09:52]

3. Childhood Scams: Mall Kiosks & “You Could Be a Star!” (13:18–15:07)

• Digression into childhood scam dreams—talent scouts at malls, “hot kids” being “discovered,” mall kiosks.
• Laci: “The mall is a place for scams and for creeps.” [14:25]
• Commentary on the ubiquity of tiny transactional scams in American life.

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Main Story: The Scams of Mark Olmsted (18:28–51:20)

A. Background: Diagnosis and Early Motive

• Mark and his older brother Luke, both gay men in San Diego, are diagnosed with HIV in the 1980s.
• Mark claims his criminality began out of hopelessness, expecting to die soon—but their investigation reveals he was a natural-born scammer.
  • “When I took a deep dive into these scams, I was like, oh, no, honey, you was a scammer.” — Laci Mosley [19:18]

B. The Disability Checks & Identity Fraud (22:00–25:08)

• After Luke’s death, Mark delays filing the death certificate and continues cashing Luke’s sizable disability checks.
• He next forges Luke’s driver’s license—with his own photo—by simply showing up at the DMV, exploiting 1980s-era ID protocols.
  • “I guess you could just go take other people’s driver’s license photos in the 80s. What a time for scams!” — Laci Mosley [25:06]

C. Social Security and Multiple Identities (33:03–37:12)

• As debts mount, Olmsted fakes his own death to avoid creditors, using forged documents with fake stamps ("Corona Krugers," his Little League team).
• For an even higher disability payout, he later "revives" himself as Luke, returning to the Social Security office and fooling a nonchalant bureaucrat.
  • “[SS worker says] ‘These things happen.’ And then puts him on disability.” — Laci Mosley [35:28]
• Reflection on the program’s susceptibility and the two kinds of government workers: the petty and the indifferent.

D. The Never-Ending Cycle: Life Insurance, Meth, and Legal Evasion (39:44–47:36)

• Mark sells his life insurance policy at a severe discount by intentionally worsening his health, driving his HIV T-cell count down.
• Throughout, he continues extravagant spending, drugs, scams, and turns to meth dealing.
• Eventually arrested in 2003 after being snitched on, but his HIV diagnosis earns him leniency (“white boy special”: small fine, community service).
• He immediately resumes both scam artistry and dealing on release.

E. The Collapse: Multiple IDs, Final Arrest, and “Reform” (44:51–47:57)

• Olmsted is finally tripped up when caught with multiple IDs for both Mark and Luke, a box labeled “crime,” and six passports.
• Despite the mountain of evidence, he ultimately serves less than a year.
• Post-prison, Olmsted returns to screenwriting, now for Russian oligarchs, and plans a prison memoir, “Ink from the Pen.”
  • “He went to prison for less than a year and now he’s writing Oz...” — Laci Mosley [47:36]

F. The Legacy: Sympathy, Schadenfreude, and Scam Ethics (48:17–50:44)

• Hosts wrestle with the complicated legacy—Mark hurt many, but the biggest victims were “the government and the insurance companies” (which they find amusing).
  • “Cuz fuck the government and fuck insurance companies.” — Laci Mosley [50:33]
• Repeatedly joke about the twisted sibling dynamic and how “evil people live forever.”

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Scam of the Week: AfterTheRapturePetCare.com (51:21–58:29)

• Laci highlights a real website offering “pet care for the rapture”—a service for Christians to register pets in case they’re raptured and atheists are left to care for animals.
• “It is a $10 fee to weed out jokers who would submit fake pets...” [57:03]
• Jamie: “That is... I mean, this is a free service but it costs $10! It’s free, but also put your credit card information in right here.” [57:04]
• Merchandise available, including apparel for post-rapture non-believers (the “sinners”).
• Both hosts riff: if you’re going to hell, “might as well go impeccably dressed.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Confidence in Scams:
  “Confidence, like, to a point of egomaniac, is necessary.” — Laci Mosley [09:52]

• On Mensa as a Scam:
  “A high IQ society that you need to pay eighty dollars to join is a scam…” — Jamie Loftus [08:48]

• On Death-Defying Grifting:
  “He takes so many, like, huge risks, like, early into this game.” — Jamie Loftus [23:26]
  “He loves the dmv. Everyone hates the dmv, but he loves the dmv. He is addicted to it.” — Laci Mosley [34:22]

• On Scam Evolution:
  “Good scammers, they rise to the occasion.” — Laci Mosley [25:40]

• On Post-Scam Life:
  “He’s Also working on a prison memoir called Ink from the Pen… That is a scam in itself.” — Jamie Loftus [47:31]

• On Rapture Pet Care:
  “It’s a merch shop... There’s even merch for the sinners. That’s more inclusive than I thought.” — Jamie Loftus [57:14, 57:34]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Intro & "What's Hot in Fraud": 01:52–08:30
• Mensa Discussion: 08:30–13:17
• Childhood/Mall Scams: 13:18–15:07
• Mark Olmsted Story Begins: 18:28
• Identity & Disability Scams: 22:00–25:08, 33:03–37:12
• Meth Dealing & Legal Dodge: 39:44–47:57
• Discussion on Scam Harm & Ethics: 48:17–50:44
• Scam of the Week ("AfterTheRapturePetCare.com"): 51:21–58:29

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Tone and Takeaways

The episode is a riff-heavy, comedic but surprisingly nuanced conversation about the strange ingenuity of scam artists, the shifting landscape of fraud pre- and post-internet, and the moral gray zones of victimless crimes. Both hosts maintain a tone of incredulous amusement, punctuated with sidebars on mall scams, late fees, and exclusive clubs. The story of Mark Olmsted is treated with both fascination and critique, always keeping the listener laughing and questioning: who really gets hurt when a scammer scams those in power?

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Where to Find the Hosts

• Jamie Loftus:

  • Podcast: The Bechtel Cast
  • Twitter: @jamieloftishelp
  • Instagram: @amycrysuperstar

• Laci Mosley:

  • @divalacy on all platforms
  • scamgoddesspod (Gmail, Twitter, Instagram, and even Yahoo)

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Stay schemin’! Stay shady! And remember—if Laci ever calls you, you know it’s legit.

Transcript

[Lacey Moseley]

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[Jamie Loftus]

They're boosting from my stores.

[Lacey Moseley]

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[Lacey Moseley]

fraud scam cause robbery and Fraud Scam Goddess. Oh my God. Well, hi guys. Welcome back to Scam Goddess. This is a pod dedicated to fraud and all those who practice it. We break down famous scams and capers and bring on hilarious comedians to tell us about their own relationships with scams as well. And today I'm so honored to have the Jamie Loftus actor stand up one woman performer. Everything in front of me. Thank you so much for doing the show.

[Jamie Loftus]

Of course. I'm so excited.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Big fan.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes, I'm a big fan of Jamie. I love doing. She has a podcast called the Bechtel Cast, which I guess you could plug later, but I'm already plugging it up. Top.

[Jamie Loftus]

Most beloved guest on that show. So good.

[Lacey Moseley]

I love that show so much. Well, let's get into it, Jamie. We'll start with what's Hot and Fraud. So what's Hot and Fraud is a segment where we warn our listeners about popular scams. If you want to warn us or tell us about a scam that you have experienced in your life, please email [e-mail] we'd love to share it on the show. All right, so we're going to start with what's Hot and Fraud. So this is a segment where we regale our listeners with the hottest, newest scams, you know, to protect them from getting scammed. We only want our listeners doing our scams. Right.

[Jamie Loftus]

And we fully support those.

[Lacey Moseley]

If we call you, it's legitimate.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's right. Because we care. And, you know, I think that podcasters really form this false sense of trust with the people that listen to them. And that's why podcasters are such great scammers.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah. But a podcast. Podcasts are scams. So enjoy. This scam came for me on Twitter and I'll just read what he wrote. Somebody called me with this phone number. I'm not gonna say the phone number. Cause I want that guy to keep scamming, telling me he was doing some registration online and he mistakenly put my number on what he was registering. He said that my number is similar to his number and that the password of what he was registering was sent to my phone. He was actually now appealing to me to give him a reset code that was actually sent to my phone so that he could finish his registration. I got online to find out more, only to discover that he was actually trying to reset my bank online. Yahoo. Yahoo Mail password and that he's a fraudster. Okay, so one. I just wanna say, sir, why are you operating on Yahoo. Mail?

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, I mean, that's honestly not to say he's asking for it, but Yahoo.

[Lacey Moseley]

Mail is for scams.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's a red flag.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah, literally, like, you use Yahoo. Mail when you go to a clothing store and they're like, we'll give you 10% off if you give us an email.

[Jamie Loftus]

You shouldn't still be using your first email ever. You gotta. I still have my. If you ever wanna email me and not. And I won't see it, you should email poetrypunk18sn.com that's where all the scams go for me.

[Lacey Moseley]

I see that and I raise you Lil [e-mail] Love it.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, you got the high school graduation year in there. It's a classic.

[Lacey Moseley]

And the lil. It was all. Everyone was like lil back then. Like, my cousin has an email that was Lil Blue 2007. It was all about what year you were graduating and lil and what you

[Jamie Loftus]

were a lil version of.

[Lacey Moseley]

Exactly. He was a little version of the color blue, and I was a little chica bonita. Yes. I called myself beautiful in my own email. I was like, email me. Utiful little girl.

[Jamie Loftus]

Beautiful little girl. Graduating? Not yet.

[Lacey Moseley]

Maybe I should, like, look into that. I want to see what kind of emails Beautiful little girl is getting probably not good ones.

[Jamie Loftus]

I feel like that is like an email you would guess to send a scam to.

[Lacey Moseley]

Right. Also, like, this intrigued me because I guess anyone calling you with like any kind of elaborate story about how they need information from you is always a scam.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, it's. But I feel like they target people and I, Like, I've. I've come close to falling for it. I've never gone so far as to like, give them the info.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

But like, when they sound like, hey, it would be really helpful if I am automatically like, I don't want to disappoint anyone.

[Lacey Moseley]

So you're like an empath for scams.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

Because there's different types. Because for me, I'm an incentive scammer. So if you call me and you're like, oh, you know I'm about to wire you this, this, all I need is the taxes and fees. Like, I'm more apt to do that scam than I am like, can you help me out? Blah, blah, blah. I'm like, nah, fuck you. What am I getting out of this?

[Jamie Loftus]

I fall for like the Nigerian prince scams of just like, I need. It would be so helpful if you. I'd be so. I. A stranger would be so disappointed in you.

[Lacey Moseley]

And I'm like, no, no, I need this stranger. I need the stranger to like me. Yeah, See? And I guess, like, and it's cool to kind of figure out the different strategies because there are people who. I think you're a worse scammer if you're appeal to people's good nature. I think that's more fucked up, I bet.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, it's more fucked up and I bet less effective too.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah, I would think so too. But at the same time, people like to be liked. This scam is probably working for him. He's definitely resetting mad Yahoo accounts with. What do you do with that?

[Jamie Loftus]

Do you think it's like the Yahoo people specifically he is targeting? Or is it like. I guess I'm like, how do you get something like this off the ground? I have to admire it.

[Lacey Moseley]

Maybe. He's like, okay, once I get into your email, then I'll get like more information about you and then I'll use that.

[Jamie Loftus]

And then you just reset everything. Yeah, right, right.

[Lacey Moseley]

Because when you have an email, then you can really reset your whole life. That's the crazy thing is like, Google is the biggest scam. My Google fucking crashed my Gmail because someone from buzzfeed sent me a spam email and I opened it. And then it sent out a spam email to everyone in my email account and they froze my account and my life fell apart. And I was like, oh my God, I've given so much power to Google. Like, my calendar stopped working. I was like, where do I be? What do I do?

[Jamie Loftus]

You, like lose access to your bank, right?

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah. Couldn't send any emails, couldn't tell anybody that I was off the grid. It was like I had a full on like meltdown, like panic attack.

[Jamie Loftus]

I think if that happened to me, I would just start over in a new city. Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

All right, I get a stick and a bandana and I pack all my belongings in it.

[Jamie Loftus]

I would just leave.

[Lacey Moseley]

Just fucking skip town. You're right. You're right. I think that's what you have to do when your email shuts down. It's like, all right, I quit.

[Jamie Loftus]

All right? I've been canceled for some reason and I'll move on. Come on.

[Lacey Moseley]

It's been good, America. Not that good, but okay, now I'm leaving the country. But yeah, so I think that's interesting to me that this is one of those can you help me out type scams. I am very not likely to fall for those.

[Jamie Loftus]

You a hang up.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah. Although guys, if I call you and I need your help, I really care.

[Jamie Loftus]

She means it. Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

So help me out and give me your Social Security number.

[Jamie Loftus]

I've already done it.

[Lacey Moseley]

And your Yahoo password. Yes, Jamie. I told Jamie to do the show. Like she needed to give me her

[Jamie Loftus]

Social Security or she wouldn't like me anymore. And I was like, yeah, I'll do it.

[Lacey Moseley]

That was the only payment was my like and approval.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, I'll take it. Yo.

[Lacey Moseley]

So Jamie, what, what is your relationship with scams? Have you ever been scammed? Have you ever been involved in a scam? You don't have to talk about any current scams that you have going, but.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, no, just, just retired scams. At this point, there is a scam that I sort of fell for. I don't know, it got murky. But I. For the past year, I've been interacting a lot with the Mensa.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes, I love your Minsu. They're mean people.

[Jamie Loftus]

They're mean spirited people.

[Lacey Moseley]

They're so fucking mean.

[Jamie Loftus]

And it kind of goes without saying that a high IQ society that you need to pay $80 to join is a scam. But it's also like, it's so that's the one I just sort of, I just had to separatize with them. Cause it was, it just Like, I joined as, like, a joke for this piece I was writing. And they were like, we'll pay the fee. Just, like, go and see what they're like and stuff. And they were like, what a flex.

[Lacey Moseley]

She's like, I joined Mensa just to write a piece. They don't let you into Mensa because you pay a fee. You have to be a genius. I'm sitting with a genius. No.

[Jamie Loftus]

Well, that's the thing is, I think that even the testing is a scam. Like, it was not a difficult test. Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

Cause you're a genius.

[Jamie Loftus]

No.

[Lacey Moseley]

What if I was like, I did it in my sleep. Why? Everyone can't do this. There was. It was.

[Jamie Loftus]

It was the thing, though, like, when I was taking the test, like, I don't know. Because you have to be, like, arrogant enough to think that you could be a genius, right? So there's already, like, this ego point

[Lacey Moseley]

of entry, which is a big thing in scams. Confidence, like, to a point of egomaniac, is, like, necessary.

[Jamie Loftus]

And then you won't want to admit that you're wrong later because you already have been telling people you're a genius. But the questions on the test, like, there were some that were. There was, like, some math shit and some pattern shit that was, like, harder for me. But there was a whole section on just like, do you know who this famous person is and what's their job like? There was. You had to. You had. Bill Cosby was on the test.

[Lacey Moseley]

Oh, God.

[Jamie Loftus]

And I was like, I don't know what category he belongs in. Multiple of these categories. This must be an old question, but.

[Lacey Moseley]

So they also aren't updating the test. It sounds like if Bill Cosby's on the test.

[Jamie Loftus]

No, it's just like, they're just. I think that they're, like, going for, like, egomaniacs who are like, yeah, I'm probably a genius, and then just kind of taking their money.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yo, that's actually very smart because it's like, you have to keep the society exclusive enough that people feel privileged, but also, you got to keep that shit going. So somebody got to be getting in there that ain't a genius.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, and then. And then it goes from. There is like, once you. Once you, like, get in and you take the test, which costs $75, then you got to pay the $80 fee to actually join the group, and then you got to participate in your local group, and then you gotta go to Phoenix in the summer.

[Lacey Moseley]

Phoenix?

[Jamie Loftus]

I had to go to Phoenix.

[Lacey Moseley]

What the fuck is in Phoenix, Arizona for? Geniuses.

[Jamie Loftus]

A lot of people that were mad at me. There I. There is. I'm like, my biggest fear is confrontation to my face. And I had maybe 100 confrontations to my face. And I'm cured now and I'll never be upset about anything again. But it was just like the, like, level of.

[Lacey Moseley]

What were they mad at you about?

[Jamie Loftus]

They were mad at me because I made fun of them in my piece.

[Lacey Moseley]

And they all read it. Because they read.

[Jamie Loftus]

They were all. They all read it and then they posted it in this secret Facebook group. And it was just like all these insults and all these like, I had never posted in this group, but they were just like this stupid bitch. Like, she's.

[Lacey Moseley]

I hate her eyebrows.

[Jamie Loftus]

That was.

[Lacey Moseley]

There some such good eyebrows.

[Jamie Loftus]

Thank you so much. I was like, I just. I was shocked at the low. The low. Like Spencer's gift level humor bar.

[Lacey Moseley]

You guys are geniuses. Can you insult me on like an intellectual level?

[Jamie Loftus]

Challenge me. Give me an insult.

[Lacey Moseley]

Give me a word problem. That's an insult, right?

[Jamie Loftus]

And then, but then, and then there was like a very weird death threat and I was like, oh, this is serious. Oh, shit. Like, what's going on? And then it just. It just like went. Spiraled out from there. But the. But just on a base level, like a high IQ society, where you have to already be like, I'm special to get in. It's so easy to take money from people who believe that they're better than

[Lacey Moseley]

everyone, because that's a different type of scam. That's the ego. So you're getting the reward of feeling better than someone. Yeah, that's like the whole premise of the fyre fest was like, hot, beautiful, rich models. You have to have so much money to go here.

[Jamie Loftus]

And once you're. And once you're in, like, you'll keep paying to keep appearances up, which is

[Lacey Moseley]

like for all the other snooty intellectuals.

[Jamie Loftus]

Exactly. Because you want to match everyone. And it's weird because, I mean, that group is. It was. It's like more. It was more diverse in like, class background. It is like majority white people. But they're. But it's people from all classes. So I'm like, they're like scamming some like, low income families who did well on a test. They're like, no, come to Phoenix. Buy this Deadpool shirt we made. Like, I got the Deadpool shirt.

[Lacey Moseley]

That sounds good.

[Jamie Loftus]

It says brain pool on it.

[Lacey Moseley]

Lacy. Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's just Deadpool with a big ass head. It says brain pool.

[Lacey Moseley]

I mean, look you gotta flex on a hoe. You know what I mean? You gotta show people that you got that big ass brain.

[Jamie Loftus]

I go out there, I wear my brain pool shirt and people line up.

[Lacey Moseley]

Were there kids in the society?

[Jamie Loftus]

There are kids, which is all. Which is another thing about it that freaks me out. Cause it's like, can you imagine a worse thing to do to a kid than tell them they're better than everyone?

[Lacey Moseley]

Oh, I loved it. It personally fueled me as a child was knowing that I was better than everyone. I never did mensa, but I was a kid, like, aspiring actor.

[Jamie Loftus]

I always like, you know, like when you go into a mall when you're little, you're like, maybe today's the day when there's just like, is there some pervert? Like, that's a scam. Is like wandering the mall and then just approaching hot kids and being like, do you want to be a star? That could be anyone.

[Lacey Moseley]

That was the biggest scam of the 90s.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

Was like people discovering people at water fountains.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, we were all so excited.

[Lacey Moseley]

I was so hot at the water fountain. Just sipping that water.

[Jamie Loftus]

So, so slow forming, walking in and out of Claire's just like, somebody notice me.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah. The mall is a place for scams and for creeps.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, it's true.

[Lacey Moseley]

My friend got inducted into a cult from being at the mall.

[Jamie Loftus]

No.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah, they were at the mall and they got her.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wow.

[Lacey Moseley]

That's.

[Jamie Loftus]

Honestly at a mall. I'll fall for almost anything I've done. Those dead sea salt face scrubs.

[Lacey Moseley]

If you've ever bought something from a mall kiosk, you've participated in a scam. Like those stores that are literally like a moving cart.

[Jamie Loftus]

I like the belts that you can program to say whatever you want.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes, those were big in the 90s. Those are fun. Yes, you get that. You wear it to the B2K concert. Live it up. Number one fan scams.

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[Lacey Moseley]

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[Lacey Moseley]

that thing and move on to the next house.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Lacey Moseley]

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[Sponsor Voice]

Which is my favorite scam.

[Lacey Moseley]

Okay? Because I can always be a fashionista,

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Lacey Moseley]

Like I don't typically have like cream

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[Lacey Moseley]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Lacey Moseley]

Cut. All right, well, we're gonna move into our biggest segment here. And my favorite. This is actually really dope because Jamie sent me this story and then I went on a super deep dive about it. But this is a story about Mark. Luke. Mark, Luke. Mark or Luke Olmstead?

[Jamie Loftus]

Ooh, that's the question.

[Lacey Moseley]

That's the question. Mark or Luke or both. So this is a story that happens during the AIDS epidemic in the 80s, before we had good medication and you could actually live for a very long time and have a full life with hiv. And this is about a man who says. He says that because he was diagnosed with HIV that he started doing scams because he didn't think he was gonna live very long.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

However, when I took a deep dive into these scams, I was like, oh, no, honey, you was a scammer.

[Jamie Loftus]

He was setting up for the long haul.

[Lacey Moseley]

Career scammer.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes. So Luke and Mark are two brothers. So Luke was two years older than Mark and he was like industrial and athletic. He was an Eagle Scout and a good. And Mark was, you know, rumoredly very funny and quick witted and charming, but like kind of a fuck up. Which is the real makers of a scammer. Like a scammer.

[Jamie Loftus]

A charismatic fuck up.

[Lacey Moseley]

Charismatic as shit. Like scammers, you love them, they embolden you, you feel special around them. They're fucking insane and I love it. So Luke, just to get really into it, they were both actually gay. And Luke ended up being diagnosed with HIV at the same time as Mark. Cause it was an epidemic in the 80s. It was insane. Actually. One of my uncles passed away from HIV and got it in the 80s. And thank God now for modern medicine. And this is not as big of an issue. You know what I mean?

[Jamie Loftus]

It's not a death sentence.

[Lacey Moseley]

It's not a death sentence anymore. Yeah, it's still a big issue, but it's not a death sentence. But at the time it was. And Mark capitalized on this.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mark was scamming as if he was going to die young, Literally.

[Lacey Moseley]

Is that a song?

[Jamie Loftus]

I think I just referenced a KE$, so that's like 10 years old.

[Lacey Moseley]

Brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack Mark, Mark, Luke. So to just Cut to the chase. Luke passes away and you know, it's always the good ones.

[Sponsor Voice]

I know.

[Lacey Moseley]

Like, he was sweet and lovely and everyone seemed like a really good guy. At least how they tell these stories. And Mark was a shady fuck up. And of course he lives.

[Jamie Loftus]

He lives forever.

[Lacey Moseley]

That's how it goes. I have one aunt alive from being a child. One great aunt. And she was the most fucking evil person. And she has outlived everyone.

[Jamie Loftus]

Lives forever. Yeah. Evil really just. I don't know what it does to you.

[Lacey Moseley]

Fortifies you.

[Jamie Loftus]

It really does. It keeps you alive. I had an evil grandma and we were just like, it's never gonna happen. She's never gonna die. She'll bury us.

[Lacey Moseley]

She's gonna bury you all. It's like John McCain's mom, John McCain's mom must have done some real fucked up shit in her life, because that bitch is living.

[Jamie Loftus]

She made a deal. It reminds me of like Rasputin from Anastasia. Make a deal with the devil. And then all of a sudden you can be dead, but also alive, Right?

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah. She's literally Melisandre from Game of Thrones. Yeah. Just so fucking old and petty and not going anywhere. And I stand, at some point I'm gonna have to start being evil because I would like to live that long as well. I think around 50, I'm gonna have to just start being a real fucked up baby.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, we're gonna have to, like, renegotiate our morals entirely.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So that we can live longer. So Mark continues living. But Luke and Mark had been living together since they've been diagnosed in San Diego. Go. So when Luke passes away, you know, Mark's like, devastated. But then Luke's disability checks start coming in the mail. And Mark was responsible for filing his death certificate, which when the check started coming, Mark was like, maybe I'll wait on this death certificate. Maybe I'll wait on that.

[Jamie Loftus]

You know, it's like, okay, he's grieving. Maybe he's just.

[Lacey Moseley]

And Luke was a physician, so his, his, like disability checks were checks.

[Jamie Loftus]

And his. I mean, his. Because wasn't he, like, researching HIV aids? Like he was looking for cures. Mark is a up man. His brother was literally an angel trying to.

[Lacey Moseley]

Trying to save everyone.

[Jamie Loftus]

And Mark was like, well, let's see.

[Lacey Moseley]

Disability check. Yes. Mark was. No scruples. So he continues to cash these checks for forever. And then, then Mark is like, hmm, well, if I can cash these checks, then what about a driver's license? Which I don't think is the next natural Step here. No.

[Jamie Loftus]

He takes so many, like, huge risks, like, early into this game.

[Lacey Moseley]

So, Luke. And this is also the 80s, so the technology is not that great. Isn't this, like, when ghosts came out and everybody had computers with green letters on them? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Then they think it was, like, 20 minutes to turn on, and you could, like, not communicate something to someone and get it away and they wouldn't find out for a year.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Kind of thing.

[Lacey Moseley]

Literally. So this is like the era of, like, ghost era computers. And, like, nobody's checking that green font that hard. You know, we don't got time.

[Jamie Loftus]

It hurts your eyes.

[Lacey Moseley]

It truly does. And nobody's checking for scams on that green font. So a envelope arrived. So it seems like everything kind of started as opportunistic. It was like, oh, these checks are still arriving. I'm gonna cash these checks. Oh, this envelope says that you have to renew your driver's license. So I'm gonna renew.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mm.

[Lacey Moseley]

So what I didn't understand was, is that Mark showed up to the DMV and took Luke's driver's license photo.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yep.

[Lacey Moseley]

And then now Mark's face is on Luke's driver's license.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's so hard for me to, like, put myself in a headspace where this works.

[Lacey Moseley]

I guess it's because it's the 80s. Yeah. Because I'm like, I guess they didn't have photos on the computer. So if you were just like, I need to renew my driver's license. They were like, great.

[Jamie Loftus]

They didn't have, like, the certificate, like, the birth certificate or whatever.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah. Or a Social Security card, which don't have photos on, which is also weird.

[Jamie Loftus]

I mean, I guess your birth certificate would just be you as a baby, so it doesn't count, right? That's true.

[Lacey Moseley]

You holding it up like, is this you?

[Jamie Loftus]

Could be.

[Lacey Moseley]

It's just like, me coming in with a photo of a little black baby. It's me. Yes. So I guess you could just go take other people's driver's license photos in the 80s. What a time for scams.

[Jamie Loftus]

Why weren't more people doing that?

[Lacey Moseley]

God, that's amazing.

[Jamie Loftus]

They didn't know that this is a limited time scam.

[Lacey Moseley]

They didn't know technology was gonna improve and you weren't gonna be able to

[Jamie Loftus]

do this once the gateway computer comes out.

[Lacey Moseley]

This or rap fucking yo, Bill Gates. Probably ruin mad people scams. As much as we're like, oh, we love the computer and shit, I bet there's a lot of people out there who were like, bitch, I bet it's

[Jamie Loftus]

almost like when a job becomes defunct, because it's, like, been replaced by something automated. You have to retrain. So scammers couldn't do the DMV scams anymore, but they could start Internet scams. They just had to recalibrate their brain.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah, they did. And good scammers, they rise to the occasion.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, good scammers never die.

[Lacey Moseley]

No. And not at all. You gotta keep evolving, you know, It's a great. Every great business.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's really inspiring when you think about it.

[Lacey Moseley]

Truly. That's why I love scammers. I love them so much. So at this point, he now has his brother's driver's license with his face on it, and he's cashing these disability checks now. Mark is a creative, so weird turn. He actually gets a screenwriting gig. This is crazy. Which is, like, okay, but doesn't it

[Jamie Loftus]

involve, like, Whoopi Goldberg?

[Lacey Moseley]

Whoopi went on record and said that she did not not endorse this movie. But I think she had known about the screenplay because she was asked about it a few times and was like, yeah, I did, like, hear about it, but I wasn't involved in the project. But the way that Mark was selling it was that he had a screenwriting gig and he was working with two colleagues, and this was all abroad, too. And that Whoopi Goldberg claimed that she wanted to be a part of it. Okay, but then his two colleagues die of aids. Yes.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, I forgot that.

[Lacey Moseley]

So, like, this is still during.

[Jamie Loftus]

This is very sad scam.

[Lacey Moseley]

It is. But not for Mark.

[Jamie Loftus]

Not for Mark. No. Mark is immortal.

[Lacey Moseley]

Honestly, I was like, is this scam too sad for this show? But Mark is so shady that I

[Jamie Loftus]

was like, no, it's a fascinating scam. Yeah. I mean, he takes full advantage.

[Lacey Moseley]

He's taking full advantage of an epidemic.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, it's the worst.

[Lacey Moseley]

Everyone else is, like, having concerts and selling T shirts or trying to.

[Jamie Loftus]

His brother trying to cure HIV aids.

[Lacey Moseley]

And he was like, I see an opportunity.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mark's like, all right, let's see if I can ride a Whoopi Goldberg vehicle. That'll. And it seems like, too. He's like, a failed writer. Yeah, that. Yeah, absolutely.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yikes. So he has the id, Right? He's got the disability checks. What comes next? Credit cards. So he starts getting credit cards in Luke's name, and he's running up these bills, and he had over $40,000 in credit card debt on just one card alone. So now these credit card companies are calling, like, hey, Luke. Luke. Mark we need our coins. So when one rep from a credit card company phoned and asked for Luke, his mind raced. And then Mark was like, oh, fuck, I am Luke. I just gotta say, I'm Luke. Okay, great, great, great. So he does it and he says, Mr. Ohmstead said, We've heard of your brother's death. So what he did was, is Mark had a bunch of credit card debt and he decided instead of killing Luke, to kill himself.

[Jamie Loftus]

Right.

[Lacey Moseley]

So he sent in a death certificate for himself.

[Jamie Loftus]

And he's like, X acto knife, like forging the documents.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes. He also went to Office max, which office max. 80s. Enabler of chaos, enabler of scams. And got a. A stamp that said CC on it.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Moseley]

And he was using that on his fake death certificates to say certified copy. Because that's basically the exact same stamp that they would use. Now, if anybody had cared to zoom in, it would have saw that it also said Corona Krugers, which was a childhood Little League baseball team.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh my God.

[Lacey Moseley]

So he was using this Corona Kruger stamp to like certify documents and death certificates, which I thought was lit. Because stamps, like in the late 80s, early 90s, people had stamps of their signatures. My mom had a stamp of her signature that I would use to sign off on detention documents that I got.

[Jamie Loftus]

Cause I know about.

[Lacey Moseley]

I went to detention all the time for just being late. I would have, like, I think I had. When I was 12, my sixth grade year, I had 36 detentions. And every time you got five detentions, you got a Friday night, which was like a Friday night was a three. Which was what, a punishment to teachers.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, just for being late.

[Lacey Moseley]

A three hour detention on Friday nights. And so then I would have to do those because my detentions had added up too much.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's like one thing where anytime I've been punished for being late, like as a kid, it's like it has never made me more on time as an adult.

[Lacey Moseley]

I continue to be late.

[Jamie Loftus]

I'm late for almost everything still, like, it doesn't help.

[Lacey Moseley]

No. And you know, being late is a big scam because people who are late or tardy end up paying more over their lifetime than people who are prompt. So things like late fees, things like Express, like I went to the airport and had to buy a fast pass through the airport. Cause I was so late. A $15 JetBlue fast pass. Whoa.

[Jamie Loftus]

They do it like Disneyland now.

[Lacey Moseley]

They do it like Disneyland now.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, I just had to expedite a passport. Cause I forgot, like, they're up and they pay.

[Lacey Moseley]

They charge you for that so much. Anytime you don't plan, anytime you're late, that's a big scam that people are profiting off of. And I want to stop, but also I can't.

[Jamie Loftus]

I kind of refuse. I'm like, you know what? I'll get another job so I can continue to be late to everything.

[Lacey Moseley]

This is just my. I drive Lyft so I can be late. I just drive for Lyft on the weekends just to be late to things. Oh, yeah. Oh, and also I'll never buy another fast pass in the airport because now I just know I can say I have it because no one checks.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, wow. Yeah. Is that just for JetBlue or is that for.

[Lacey Moseley]

So for everyone else it could be like priority membership. So if you're flying first class or you have priority boarding or if you're like one of those sparkle diamond, silver, sapphire blue jet guest, you know what I mean?

[Jamie Loftus]

It's just like, you just need the confidence to enter. I wanna go into one of those lounges someday. You know those, like, they have like the United Lounge now.

[Lacey Moseley]

They check that shit.

[Jamie Loftus]

They check that shit. Yeah, damn.

[Lacey Moseley]

I know. Cause I've tried to just like breeze

[Jamie Loftus]

in just to get in. Yeah, damn. I'll try someday.

[Lacey Moseley]

I try to breeze in when I actually have the pass too. Cause I wanna see how easy it is. Exactly. Cause I'm like, now I have insurance, but I also wanna see if I can just do this whenever. So yeah, now I always say that I have priority boarding. No one.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Moseley]

No one checks. Also tip for people going to LAX if it's ever crowded and there's like really big lines. I've learned as a scammer to always look for like, what, ADA compliant or like handicap accessible. Things exist not to get in the way of someone who actually needs them. But if they're empty, I found that you can get everywhere much faster.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, that makes a lot of sense.

[Lacey Moseley]

So everyone was waiting in line for an escalator. I just took the elevator and then skipped.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's such a simple scam.

[Lacey Moseley]

So good. But yeah, completely sidetracked, but yeah. So Mark killed himself and then used a stamp to certify his own death certificate because he had too much credit card debt. So they called Luke, who is actually Mark, and were like, hey, we heard about your brother's death. And. And the thing is, is it needs a raised and colored seal on this death certificate and it doesn't have that. So then Mark literally starts panicking. Cause he's like, I made this shit up. Like, the jig is up. They're gonna catch me. All Mark did was tell the guy, tell the woman on the phone that he was really sad about his brother's

[Jamie Loftus]

death and that he did the empathy scam.

[Lacey Moseley]

He did the empathy scam and she just stopped asking questions. Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

That would have been me. I would have fallen for that. So I would have. Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

Shit. Right? It works, right?

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

So under Luke's name, his debt has now reached, like, $50,000.

[Jamie Loftus]

Cause he's, like, doing. He's, like, partying and, like, doing drugs and all this shit.

[Lacey Moseley]

Exactly. So he started working at a magazine and then decided to quit and collect unemployment. Okay, so he is now he's working

[Jamie Loftus]

at the magazine under his own name.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes.

[Jamie Loftus]

As if he's not dead. Okay.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes. No, he's working at the magazine under Luke's name. Oh, yes. He's full on house. Started a career as Luke. No. And he gets confused. Like, as much as we're confused. As I'm telling this story, and I'm sure our listeners are confused, Mark. Luke is gonna get very confused as well. This is why I started with, like, Mark, Luke. Luke. Mark. So he kills Luke.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Luke.

[Lacey Moseley]

Right. Next. So first he kills himself, then he kills Luke. Because now he has too much debt under Luke's name.

[Jamie Loftus]

So now they're both dead.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Moseley]

So then he goes to the DMV

[Jamie Loftus]

and says, classic Mark Luke.

[Lacey Moseley]

He loves the dmv. Everyone hates the dmv, but he loves the dmv. He is addicted to it. He goes there. No, actually, no, not the dmv. He goes to the Social Security office as Luke after he's killed Mark and Luke. Okay. And he goes there and he says, hey, I need to apply for benefits. Because the difference on, remember, like, he quit his magazine job and was gaining disability, but his disability is not as much as his brother's. Because his brother was a doctor.

[Jamie Loftus]

Right.

[Lacey Moseley]

And a hero.

[Jamie Loftus]

Right. And a good person.

[Lacey Moseley]

And a good person.

[Jamie Loftus]

May he rest in peace.

[Lacey Moseley]

So he goes to the Social Security office and he says, hey, I'm sick again. I really need to get Social Security again. And the guy. The Social Security office says, Luke Olmsted died. And he goes, but I'm right here, though. And gives him a huge smile. And he was ready with this story that he had been working for Doctors Beyond Borders in Africa and lost his passport. Like, he had a whole story ready. But what actually happened was the guy at the Social Security office goes, these things happen. And then puts him on disability. These things happen.

[Jamie Loftus]

I just.

[Lacey Moseley]

The 80s was such a good time for scams.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's so weird. Like, I think now, like 30 years from now, what are people gonna say? We should have been scamming and we're not capitalizing on the opportunity.

[Lacey Moseley]

Oh, there's definitely gotta be some stuff like that we should be.

[Jamie Loftus]

There's gotta be stuff that we should be that just future people will know better than us.

[Lacey Moseley]

Right. Also some of this I'm like, no one is. Most people aren't working at government jobs because it's their passion. So I'm sure if you catch somebody who's like not petty, that's the only thing that the government jobs have going for them is like they hire pet petty people. I feel like they must be in the interview, like, hey, so Brenda, I see that you've worked in a few other administration positions and Dom, like, how likely are you to key someone's car? From a scale of 1 to 10,

[Jamie Loftus]

have you ever worked a government job?

[Lacey Moseley]

No. It is such.

[Jamie Loftus]

I worked in the comptroller's office for a couple summers in college and it is, it is full of, of either very petty people who will like beat a non issue into the ground or people like Mark Luke encounters that are just like, if you say so. I don't give a fuck.

[Lacey Moseley]

I don't give a fuck. Yeah, so those are the two types of people who work there. So he got lucky. He didn't get the petty person. He got the person who's like, I don't. Yeah, people be dying, but they don't be dead anyway. Where do I need to stamp? Here you go. Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

So he gets away with it again.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes, he gets away again. Probably. He's also so charming.

[Jamie Loftus]

So now Luke is alive, but Mark is still dead. Yes, got it.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes, Luke is back alive. He's back, but Mark is still dead. Okay, but actually Mark is alive.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mark is the one doing this just

[Lacey Moseley]

to keep everybody on the same.

[Jamie Loftus]

Canonically, he's dead.

[Lacey Moseley]

Robbery.

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[Lacey Moseley]

sold my car in Carvana last night.

[Jamie Loftus]

Well, that's cool.

[Lacey Moseley]

No, you don't understand.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

It went perfectly.

[Lacey Moseley]

Real offer down to the penny.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

They're picking it up.

[Lacey Moseley]

Nothing went wrong.

[Guest or Caller]

So what's the problem?

[Lacey Moseley]

That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes to smoothie.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

I'm waiting for the catch.

[Guest or Caller]

Maybe there's no catch.

[Lacey Moseley]

That's exactly what a catch would want me to think. Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

You need to relax.

[Lacey Moseley]

I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood?

[Guest or Caller]

I think it's laminate.

[Lacey Moseley]

Okay. Yeah, that's good. That's close enough.

[Guest or Caller]

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[Jamie Loftus]

Sell your car today on Carvana.

[Lacey Moseley]

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[Lacey Moseley]

So Mark, also, throughout this time period, has been making pretty good money off these scams. And he's living it up. You know, he's buying drugs, he's partying, he's having a good ass time. He also has pretty good health considering he's not really on any like, drugs right now for his actual, like, condition. But he's in really good health. And then he realizes, like, oh, fuck, I'm out of money again. Luke is. Luke is back in debt, right? So he decided to take out a life insurance bid, I guess, against his policy. Which basically means, like, you can say that you're gonna die soon and someone will buy your life insurance policy from you at a discounted rate. So he had $100,000 life insurance policy, and he basically was trying to sell it to another acquisition company that would give him $58,000 for his $100,000 life insurance. So basically they turn a profit on you wanting to use your money while you're alive. While you're still alive.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, that's so dark. But okay.

[Lacey Moseley]

But I mean, it's a whole business. Yeah. And so he tries to do this and the company's like, you're too. Right. And he, he tells him, oh, I have hiv. Like, you know, this is a death sentence in the 80s. Like he's using the death sentence to get money and they're like, you're too healthy. So he stops taking. So now at this point, he is on antiviral medication. He stops taking it and drives his T cell countdown so that he can get this money.

[Jamie Loftus]

The mental gymnastics of this is like so alarming.

[Lacey Moseley]

Insane.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

So he does this and then he gets 58,000. Then guess what, Mark? Luke's back in good health, baby.

[Jamie Loftus]

All of a sudden. Oh, yeah, forgot. Here's my medication.

[Lacey Moseley]

I'm living forever. Oops. So I'm sure whoever bought that policy from him, like lost their job because he just did not die. They're not getting any money from him. He just got $58,000 for nothing.

[Jamie Loftus]

Nothing. Wow.

[Lacey Moseley]

So in August, in 2003, the FBI rushed into Mark's apartment and found narcotics. So this is like Mark, whilst doing scams, also decided to part time be a meth dealer.

[Jamie Loftus]

Right, I forgot the whole meth dealer part of this.

[Lacey Moseley]

I can't even bring it in. Like, like, I can't even explain it. I just have to be like. He also was dealing with.

[Jamie Loftus]

Time to bring it up.

[Lacey Moseley]

And he had a meth den. He was making a lot of good money.

[Jamie Loftus]

He lived around here, right?

[Lacey Moseley]

Like, yeah, West Hollywood. Yeah. So he was making in West Hollywood. Great place to be selling meth. Yes. Sells itself.

[Jamie Loftus]

Ugh.

[Lacey Moseley]

It's great. You don't have to try at all.

[Jamie Loftus]

No.

[Lacey Moseley]

So he has a meth den. He has like lots of people hanging out there and people are in and out. He's just, you know, carefree meth dealer scammer. One of his meth dealer regulars snitches on him to the FBI.

[Jamie Loftus]

Right.

[Lacey Moseley]

So in August 2003, the FBI rushes into Mark's apartment and found narcotics. Narcotics. Five weeks later in court, Mark's public defender made HIV the center of his case. Basically saying, like, he has this horrible disease, it is a death sentence. That's why he started selling meth, because he just, you know, what, what else was he supposed to do? And obviously there's an outpour of sympathy for this, right? So he ends up getting a $2,000 restitution fine. $2,200 restitution fine and 300 hours of community support service. And the article calls it a white boy special. Yes, yes. Get out of here, you little scamp.

[Jamie Loftus]

He was dealing meth for years.

[Lacey Moseley]

He was sad, Jamie.

[Jamie Loftus]

He was sad. And they're like, he got a death sentence 20 years ago.

[Lacey Moseley]

Nevermind that he's still alive. Never mind that it's 2003 and he had. He got HIV in 1980.

[Jamie Loftus]

This is. It is so hard to like contextualize this person. In my head, you're like, yeah, I mean, he is grieving like the first couple years. You're like, he's maybe grieving. It's maybe there's some dissociation going on, but we're like 20 years deep at this point. You're like, no, you should have. Sir, you've re killed your own brother like three or four times.

[Lacey Moseley]

It's. Sir, you are. You are not sad. You are a scammer. Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

You're too deep in the lifestyle at this point.

[Lacey Moseley]

So the white boy special.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

When he got out, immediately. So before he went to jail. I can't even like tell this story in an accurate way. Before he went to jail and he was selling all this meth, he was on Craigslist and he was like, I should get a real job.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, I forgot about this.

[Lacey Moseley]

Right?

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

So he was gonna get a real job, but he got arrested, like, so he had an interview set up to go to this craigslist job and then he got arrested by the FBI. So he was in jail for a little bit before they released him with restitution and 300 hours of conviction. Community service. Yeah. So when he gets out of jail, he finds the same job on Craigslist and he goes in to apply for the job. So he's like, hey, hey, guys. Yeah, sorry I didn't show up for the first interview. I was in jail. A little meth thing. Don't worry about it. I was sad doing community service.

[Jamie Loftus]

Gonna be fine.

[Lacey Moseley]

So he goes back and he gets this job.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

So he ends up up starting to sell meth again. I wish I could like tell this in a way that like builds up to it, but no, he just starts selling meth again.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's just like, wow, he's really not gonna learn this lesson. Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

So I guess he tried to, you know, do a legitimate job when he got out of the little.

[Jamie Loftus]

What was the job?

[Lacey Moseley]

So it was like a print, like a. Like a marketing job for a magazine. Oh, okay. Yeah. Which apparently he was good at.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

Scammers are great marketing.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yes.

[Lacey Moseley]

We're good at brands, we're good at hooking people. We're real good at it. So he's doing that for a little bit. It's not giving him enough money. He goes back to selling meth this time The FBI raids again.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yes.

[Lacey Moseley]

And they find his passport, his six passports, and they go in his wallet. Because they open the door and they're like, mark Olmstead, you're under arrest. And he's like, I'm not Mark. I'm Luke. I'm not Mark. I'm Luke. I'm Luke. I'm Mark. I'm Luke. I'm Mark. I'm Mark and Luke. Hello. The FBI goes into his wallet and finds several IDs for Mark and for Luke.

[Jamie Loftus]

No. All the DMV scams catch up.

[Lacey Moseley]

Why? You got them in the same wallet. You need a Mark wallet and a Luke wallet. He literally had his, like, basically a box that just said crime on it. And they're like, I guess we should open this one. And then they find, you know, meth that he's selling. Yeah. And then they find six passports, death certificates, and Mark and Luke's DMV identifications. Okay, Sarah, why were you keeping them together?

[Jamie Loftus]

All. Yeah, you get various plants throughout your house. That's where you hide things.

[Lacey Moseley]

What are you doing? Speaking from experience. So he goes to jail, but really for only, like, a short amount of time.

[Jamie Loftus]

Again, he.

[Lacey Moseley]

A few years.

[Jamie Loftus]

He can't get caught.

[Lacey Moseley]

No. This time the judge was like, okay, we do have to send you to jail, Mark. I know you're sad, but, like, you gotta go to jail a little bit. And he's like, okay. Darn it. So he goes to jail. He gets out of prison. He only served less than a year.

[Jamie Loftus]

He's just, like, there for a semester.

[Lacey Moseley]

Honestly, he's harmless. You know what I mean? He sold a little meth. He did some fake identity stuff.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, he's probably gonna. Gonna kill his brother and sell meth again.

[Lacey Moseley]

But what are we gonna do? He's so nice, you know?

[Jamie Loftus]

Did you hear Whoopi Goldberg was almost in one of his ones?

[Lacey Moseley]

So he gets out of jail, and he says that he had survivor's guilt and that he thanks God for being in prison because he needed to feel a little punished.

[Jamie Loftus]

Just a little, though.

[Lacey Moseley]

Just a little, though. Just a little. So he gets out, and now his latest business opportunity has been been screenwriting for oligarchs. He goes back into the screenwriting stuff.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wait, what is screenwriting for oligarchs? That sounds so dark.

[Lacey Moseley]

So he has a bunch of Russian film investors that want to produce American films, so he's helping them do so with all of his experience that he has from not producing anything ever. Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay. Mediocrity reigns.

[Lacey Moseley]

Cool. And he's Also working on a prison memoir called Ink from the Pen from

[Jamie Loftus]

less than a year in Prison. That is a scam in itself.

[Lacey Moseley]

He went to prison for less than a year and now he's writing Oz also. I love the title, Ink from the Pen. Cause, like, the pen, the penitentiary.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, wow.

[Lacey Moseley]

Ink. But this is writing from the pen. Like, that's deep. That's sexy. I wanna read Ink from the Pen, Oprah, please put it on your.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oprah's fallen for Scam artists. Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

A million little pieces. Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

James Fry is thriving out here, too.

[Lacey Moseley]

He wrote more books.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. He continued. And then he's like, all right, these ones are fiction, but they're still.

[Lacey Moseley]

All right, guys, you got me. I won't say I live this one,

[Jamie Loftus]

but still really compelling narrative. Damn.

[Lacey Moseley]

Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

I honestly would read Ink from the Pen the same way I would read, like, that Marianne Williamson book.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah. I wanna know.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, I'm like, I am curious what you thought you went through.

[Lacey Moseley]

I'm curious at what you're making up that you thought you went through. Yeah, you're for true and for fake.

[Jamie Loftus]

You're insulting people who are actually serving time for far lesser crimes. But, yeah, sure, Mark, tell us. You only did a million billion crimes.

[Lacey Moseley]

You're the worst. Your only redeemable quality, I guess, is that you were ill fated in a time where, you know, a horrible disease was wreaking havoc on our community and our world. But that's not even redeeming.

[Guest or Caller]

Right.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's so. It's like such a. Like, I don't want to, like, discount. Like, I'm sure he was in deep grief. I can't imagine, like, everyone around you dying from the same disease and feeling like your death is inevitable. But then it's also, like, what kind of person then capitalizes on that, like, and takes advantage of this world?

[Lacey Moseley]

And he took full advantage, like, not just by, like, doing, you know, the Social Security fraud and the disability fraud, but also by being in court and being like, hey, I thought I was gonna die, so I made a meth den.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. And just taking advantage of everyone's sympathy and empathy and just being like, yeah, I'm dealing meth because aids. And then everyone's like, oh, shit. No one wants to be the person to be. Like, what does that mean?

[Lacey Moseley]

But also, I'm glad that something positive came out of such a horrible time

[Jamie Loftus]

he did get to. I mean, I'm sure that his brother is somewhere being very disappointed in him. And he's, like, sober now and writing these shit. So that's good. It's a good story. I don't even know. It's like this is the kind of scam where it's like, who is besides the emotional drama to his family and

[Lacey Moseley]

the meth he was dealing the people

[Jamie Loftus]

and the meth he was dealing.

[Lacey Moseley]

Meth is a bad drug.

[Jamie Loftus]

And the insult to everyone who was alive during the AIDS epidemic. Besides that, who did he really hurt? He took money from the government and from insurance companies. And I like that part of the scale.

[Lacey Moseley]

Cuz fuck the government and fuck insurance companies.

[Jamie Loftus]

Exactly. Like that's fun. But then it's like. But he also hurt a lot of people. Damn. That's a complicated one. It is as emotionally fraught.

[Lacey Moseley]

Mark Luke.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mark Luke. Whichever you're identifying by these days. Poor Luke. Luke literally only tried to do good and like loved his brother. And brother.

[Lacey Moseley]

We got the short end of the stick.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yikes.

[Lacey Moseley]

Oh man.

[Jamie Loftus]

I'm gonna give my brother permission to do that to me.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah. When I die, like, please bring me back to life again. Over and over again.

[Jamie Loftus]

Then just keep killing me over and over. Don't worry. I think it's funny wherever I am.

[Lacey Moseley]

I think it's so funny wherever I am.

[Jamie Loftus]

But only take money from the government and insurance agencies. Don't hurt regular people.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yeah. That's all we want.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

And scam of the week. I actually wanna highlight a bit business that I really love. Aftertherapture. Petcare.com

[Jamie Loftus]

that's the longest website title in history.

[Lacey Moseley]

What is it again? HTTP www.aftertherapturepetcare.com okay, I'm ready. Slash backslash. So listen, dear fellow Christians, as the Apostle Paul described in Thessalonians as quoted above, at some point in future, Jesus will come in the air and catch up the church from the earth and then return to heaven with said church. This is known as the Rapture and it will be glorious. But what about pets? Who will take care of our pets when we are gone? Pets ain't going to heaven, you know. All dogs go to heaven. Apparently. Apparently, no.

[Jamie Loftus]

So this is on the assumption that pets aren't included in the Rapture?

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Moseley]

Which I don't know if there's any evidence to this conclusion.

[Jamie Loftus]

Every pet I've ever had is more worthy of being a part of the Rapture than me.

[Lacey Moseley]

Than most human beings. Absolutely.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Moseley]

Well, the after the Rapture pet care story starts because the idea came from seeing someone else. As a joke, an atheist created a site in England that said that she would take care of Christian owned pets after the Rapture and asked for £70 as a donation. She promoted it as a joke and as it virally made the rounds amongst non believers who enjoy making fun of us Christians. My husband saw it, he's an Internet geek and he told me about it. Admittedly, it did seem funny. A couple weeks later, Carol came back and suggested that we start the Rapture Pet care store together. Carol, a real Christian name?

[Jamie Loftus]

Yep.

[Lacey Moseley]

She said that she had asked several. So it goes from first person to then like second person. Like wasn't this eye story? I'm just gonna make all these she's eyes. Cause that was very confused. Then it goes back to I. Okay. Oh my God. So she tells like a bunch of Christian friends about this service saying that if you pay, I will ensure the time of the Rapture. Your pets get taken care of. Now here's where I'm confused.

[Jamie Loftus]

So does she not include her?

[Lacey Moseley]

Is she not going to heaven?

[Jamie Loftus]

I feel like she just admitted she was a scammer.

[Lacey Moseley]

She was just like, listen, there's no way I'm going to hell. And gasoline draws, okay? I've been sitting since the beginning, but

[Jamie Loftus]

then it's like, I'm going to hell and I'm taking your pets with me.

[Lacey Moseley]

Like, what? Right? Like bitch, where you going to be at? Where she does say she doesn't.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh my God.

[Lacey Moseley]

That's, that's really what's confusing about it.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay, so.

[Lacey Moseley]

Oh God. So while they're planning the system, they thought about stories of pet rescues in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Imagine how many more pets would if there had been a database of pets and volunteers activated immediately. This is something we could do for Christian owned pets, but only Christian owned pets.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, not heathen pets.

[Lacey Moseley]

No, not heathen pets.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Moseley]

Also imagine like yo owner a heathen. So now you gotta be a heathen by proxy.

[Jamie Loftus]

I gotta like get my dog baptized or something. Yeah, I gotta spill those, make sure

[Lacey Moseley]

he's good to go, right? Yeah. So they created a database that is stored on multiple secure servers with multi location online and off offline password protected backups. While I don't intend to be here when the Rapture comes, we are building a network of non Christians who have agreed to rescue and care for our members pets if we all disappear. So oh, she isn't planning to be here when the Rapture comes, but she's

[Jamie Loftus]

just setting up a Google Doc of people who could maybe take care of these dogs if they weren't Christians.

[Lacey Moseley]

Mark Luke is definitely going to be taking care of some of these dogs. Mark. Luke.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, my God.

[Lacey Moseley]

Mark. Luke, get in on this.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, this is a good way. You don't gotta sell meth. There's a better way. It's participating in this scam.

[Lacey Moseley]

Oh, my gosh. So they have a monthly fee to upkeep.

[Jamie Loftus]

How much?

[Lacey Moseley]

Oh, my God. It does not say. I want. I want to know how much the monthly fee is.

[Jamie Loftus]

So wait, so she's just saying, like, we're going to put your pet's name down so that a non Christian person will later show up after all. After we're all in heaven.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes. Okay. Okay. To watch your dog.

[Jamie Loftus]

To watch your dog for you. That is a very generous. I wonder, is there any way of telling how popular this service is? Or it's like over.

[Lacey Moseley]

I think people are using it. I'm trying to get on the site right now.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wow, this is really. This is a very creative. This is like a sub, sub, sub, sub. I like a niche scam.

[Lacey Moseley]

I do too. Like, we're really taking care of like religion. Register your pets.

[Jamie Loftus]

Christian pet owners who believe that the rapture is coming soon.

[Sponsor Voice]

Also.

[Lacey Moseley]

How soon? What if your pet dies and you've been paying this Rapture insurance?

[Jamie Loftus]

Is there any refund involved? I'm sure there's not. So that's so wild.

[Lacey Moseley]

Payment. We have never taken payments for our service is what they say.

[Jamie Loftus]

What.

[Lacey Moseley]

We state that it is a $10 fee to weed out jokers who would submit fake pets thinking they are funny.

[Jamie Loftus]

That is.

[Lacey Moseley]

I mean, this is a free service, but it costs $10. There's. It's free. But also put your credit card information in right here.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's a merch shop.

[Lacey Moseley]

They've got merch. They've got merch. Oh, my. Oh, my God. After the Rapture Pet care has, you can get photos of your dog. What's. Okay, when you get raptured, you ain't taking the shirt. Yeah, this is so.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh. Oh, no. It's for the volunteers after the rapture. Pet care. Volunteer pet. So that's for.

[Lacey Moseley]

For the sinners. Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

There's even merch for the sinners. That's more inclusive than I thought.

[Lacey Moseley]

Listen, if you're going to hell, you might as well go impeccably dressed. Get you.

[Jamie Loftus]

I don't like that. There's pictures of souls being sucked up into heaven.

[Lacey Moseley]

That is so disturbing.

[Jamie Loftus]

But then.

[Lacey Moseley]

Okay, so guys, it's pictures of souls being sucked up into heaven and then it's like cats and dogs watching from the wind. Watching very passively, by the way. I don't know Low key. That dog look bad. Like, for real, though. So y' all just gonna go to heaven now? Y' all gonna leave me down here with no kibbles, no bits?

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, that's so crazy. He's living with a family of atheists. They got fucking Bill Maher on in the background. Now he's gotta live with Bill Maher watchers.

[Lacey Moseley]

Oh, God. That's not fucking Bill Maher.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's hell on earth. That's not fucking fair.

[Lacey Moseley]

Oh, my God. Shout out to after the rapturepackcare.com with a $10 free free donation. That's mandatory.

[Jamie Loftus]

And then you'll live in their Google Doc forever.

[Lacey Moseley]

Forever. That's password protected on and offline.

[Jamie Loftus]

That can mean literally anything. There's like, oh, oh my God. We admire it.

[Lacey Moseley]

It's amazing having you, Jamie.

[Jamie Loftus]

Thank you for having me.

[Lacey Moseley]

Where can people find you?

[Jamie Loftus]

You can find. My podcast is the Bechtel Cast. I host it with Caitlin Duran Dante. And we bring a guest on. Lacey's been on twice and we love review movies from a feminist perspective. And you can find me on Twitter at Jamie Loftishelp and Instagram amycrysuperstar.

[Lacey Moseley]

Yes. All right, guys, as always, you can find us at Scam Goddess Pod on all the Internet's platforms. Gmail, Twitter, Instagram and Yahoo.com. and then you can find me, guys, @divalacy D I V A L A C I. On all platforms. Guys, we love you. Stay skeeping, stay shady.

[Jamie Loftus]

And if you're listening, Mark, Luke, come on the show.

[Lacey Moseley]

Mark, Luke, I need you on the show. Mark or Luke or both.

[Jamie Loftus]

Whoever is alive at the time.

[Sponsor Voice]

Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Moseley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming.

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