The Death Defying Duper Mark Olmsted with Jamie Loftus

Summary

Scam Goddess — "The Death Defying Duper Mark Olmsted" with Jamie Loftus

Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Jamie Loftus
Original Release: October 29, 2019

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Scam Goddess spotlights the audacious and convoluted life of Mark Olmsted, a man who exploited the chaos and tragedy of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s to pull off a series of identity fraud scams—most notably faking both his own and his brother’s deaths for financial gain. Laci Mosley and comedian/writer Jamie Loftus break down the wild details of the saga, reflect on the dark humor of scam artistry, and discuss the nuances of victimless (and not-so-victimless) scams. As always, the show’s signature tone is sharp, irreverent, and playful, with genuine moments of empathy layered in.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. What's Hot in Fraud

Timestamps: 02:09–07:37

• Recent Scam Alert: Laci recounts a scam story from a listener she found on Twitter, revolving around someone calling to get a password reset code under the pretense of a mistaken registration—actually attempting to hijack a Yahoo account.
  • "Yahoo mail is for scams." — Jamie Loftus (03:19)
  • Both Jamie and Laci riff on old embarrassing email addresses as fertile ground for scams.
  • Jamie admits she’s susceptible to scams that appeal to empathy:
    "I fall for...the Nigerian prince scams...A stranger would be so disappointed in you." (05:15)
  • Laci contrasts, admitting she’s more tempted by scams promising an incentive:
    "If you call me and you’re like…all I need is the taxes and fees, I'm more apt to do that scam…” (04:58)

2. Guest’s Relationship with Scams

Timestamps: 07:50–13:15

• Jamie discusses her experience joining Mensa (the high-IQ society) for a journalistic piece, calling out its pay-to-play structure:
  • "A high IQ society that you need to pay $80 to join is a scam." (08:18)
  • Insider stories of Mensa members’ egotism and pettiness, including being the target of Mensa online mobs.
  • Noting the scammy targeting of people’s egos:
    “It’s so easy to take money from people who believe that they’re better than everyone.” — Jamie (11:38)
  • The pathos and absurdity of childhood acting scams at the mall and being susceptible to cults and gimmicks:
    “The mall is a place for scams and for creeps.” — Laci (13:55)

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3. Main Scam Deep Dive: Mark Olmsted, the Death-Defying Duper

Timestamps: 14:40–45:59

Background & Setting

• Mark and Luke Olmsted: Two gay brothers, both diagnosed with HIV at the height of the epidemic. Luke is the high-achieving, compassionate “good son”; Mark is the charismatic, dysfunctional scammer.

Key Scam Timeline

• Death Certificate Delay & Disability Checks:
  • Mark delays reporting his brother Luke’s death to keep cashing Luke’s sizable disability checks (18:09–18:49).
  • “When Luke passes away… Luke’s disability checks start coming in the mail. …Maybe I’ll wait on this death certificate.” — Laci (18:27)
• Identity Swapping at the DMV:
  • Mark impersonates Luke at the DMV to renew a driver’s license, now holding state ID in Luke’s name but with his own face.
  • Both marvel at the lack of oversight in pre-digital DMV systems:
    “What a time for scams.” — Laci (21:15)
• Screenwriting Hustles and Credit Card Fraud:
  • Mark gets involved in (fake) film projects, even name-dropping Whoopi Goldberg.
    “Mark was like, all right, let’s see if I can ride a Whoopi Goldberg vehicle.” — Jamie (23:29)
  • Amasses huge credit card debt in Luke’s name, then tries to resolve it by officially “killing” himself on paper, forging his own death certificate using a children’s Little League stamp as the “certified copy” seal (24:36–25:14): “He went to Office Max, which—80s, enabler of chaos, enabler of scams—and got a stamp that said CC on it.” — Laci (24:40)
• Government and Social Security Doublecrosses:
  • Mark attempts to reinstate social security under Luke’s identity, improvising when bureaucrats tell him “Luke” is deceased. He spins a wild tale about being lost in Africa, and the employee shrugs it off: “These things happen.” — Laci impersonating the social security worker (31:38)
• Escalation and Meth Dealing:
  • Mark supplements his criminal income by dealing meth in West Hollywood. Snitched on by a “regular,” the FBI raids his apartment (36:03–36:59). His defense in court: he’s only selling drugs because he’s dying of AIDS.
    “The article calls it a white boy special. ...Like, get out of here, you little scamp.” — Jamie (36:59)
• Prison, ‘Resurrection,’ and the Memoir:
  • After a short stint in prison (“a semester”—41:02), Mark reemerges, shuffles identities—at one point holding six passports—and pursues screenwriting for Russian oligarchs. He drafts a prison memoir called Ink From the Pen.
    “He went to prison for less than a year and now he’s writing Oz.” — Laci (42:16) “Oprah please put it on your list.” — Laci (42:36)
• Coda: The Complications of Sympathy
  • Both hosts reflect, semi-seriously, on whether Mark truly "hurt" anyone aside from insurance companies, the government, and those addicted to meth.
  • "Who did he really hurt? He took money from the government and from insurance companies. And I like that part of the scam." — Jamie (45:13)
  • "Besides the emotional trauma to his family and the meth he was dealing..." — Laci (44:52)
  • They agree: “Don’t hurt regular people, just scam the system.” (45:59)

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4. Scam of the Week: After the Rapture Pet Care

Timestamps: 46:01–53:55

• Spotlight: A website that offers to register your pets for care after the Rapture—for a “free” $10 donation to weed out pranksters.
  • “After the Rapture pet care story starts because the idea came from seeing someone else as a joke. …She said that she had asked several Christian friends about this service…” — Laci (47:15)
  • Jamie laughs at the circular logic (“Is she not going to heaven either?”) and the site’s paid volunteer system for non-Christians.
  • “That is a very generous— I wonder, is there any way of telling how popular this service is?” — Jamie (50:47)
  • Laci describes the merch:
    “If you going to hell, you might as well go impeccably dressed.” (52:16)
  • Jamie highlights the disturbing Rapture artwork:
    “I don’t like that there’s pictures of souls being sucked up into heaven…and then cats and dogs watch from the window, very passively, by the way.” (52:21)
  • Both find it a hilarious, hyper-niche scam, and marvel at its ingenuity.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Yahoo Mail scams:
  “Yahoo mail is for scams.” — Jamie Loftus (03:19)
• On empath vulnerability:
  “I'm like, no, no, I need the stranger to like me.” — Laci Mosley (05:25)
• On Mensa:
  “A high IQ society that you need to pay $80 to join is a scam.” — Jamie Loftus (08:18)
• On the ease of 80s/90s ID fraud:
  “What a time for scams.” — Laci Mosley (21:15)
• On meth dealing as a “sad” defense:
  “He got a death sentence 20 years ago—never mind that he’s still alive.” — Laci (37:11)
• On scam redemption:
  “Don’t hurt regular people. …Just take money from the government and insurance agencies. …That’s all we want.” — Jamie and Laci (45:59)
• On Rapture Pet Care:
  “That is a very generous— I wonder, is there any way of telling how popular this service is?” — Jamie (50:47) “If you going to hell, you might as well go impeccably dressed.” — Laci (52:16)

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Flow and Tone

Laci and Jamie bring high-energy wit, warmth, and a signature irreverence throughout. The show pivots easily from dark humor (jokes about evil relatives living longest, grieving scammer logic, and the farcical Mensa experience) to real-world pathos—pausing now and then to reflect on the ethics and real victims of scamming. Their chemistry lends the episode an improvisational, conversational charm, making deeply convoluted scams both entertaining and surprisingly insightful, even on heavy themes like AIDS-era trauma and criminal justice.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Hot in Fraud Listener Scam: 02:09–07:37
• Jamie Loftus on Mensa and Mall Scams: 08:00–13:15
• Mark Olmsted Story Begins: 14:40
• Disability Check Scam: 18:09
• DMV/ID Swap: 20:33–21:52
• Fake Death Certificates & Screenwriting Hustle: 24:36–25:14; 22:23–23:42
• Meth Dealing, FBI Raids: 36:03–36:59; 39:30–41:02
• Rapture Pet Care Scam: 46:01–53:55

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

You’ll come away with a sense of the joy and creativity (and sometimes moral ambiguity) in scam culture as dissected by two sharp comics, as well as a thorough—if dizzying—chronicle of Mark Olmsted’s identity-challenging exploits. The episode sits at a crossroads of comedy, social commentary, and true crime, offering a simultaneously jaw-dropping and empathetic look at scammers and those they impact.

As always, "Stay schemin’, stay shady!"

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Lacey Mosley]

Scam Cause robbery and fraud. Scam. Cause robbery and fraud. Oh, my God. Well, hi, guys. Welcome back to Scam Goddess. This is a pod dedicated to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week we break down famous scams and capers and bring on hilarious comedians about their own relationships with scams as well. And today, I'm so honored to have the Jamie Loftus actor stand up one woman performer. Everything in front of me. Thank you so much for doing the show.

[Jamie Loftus]

Of course. I'm so excited. Big fan.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes, I'm a big fan of Jamie. I love doing. She has a podcast called the Bechdelcast, which I guess you could plug later, but I'm already plugging it up top.

[Jamie Loftus]

You're the most beloved guest on that show.

[Lacey Mosley]

So good. I love that show so much. Well, let's get into it, Jamie. We'll start with what's Hot and Fraud. So what's Hot and Fraud is a segment where we warn our listeners about popular scams. If you want to warn us or tell us about a scam that you have experienced in your life, please email [e-mail] we'd love to share it on the show. All right, so we're going to start with what's Hot and Fraud. So this is a segment where we regale our listeners with the hottest, newest scam scams, you know, to protect them from getting scammed. We only want our listeners doing our scams.

[Jamie Loftus]

Right. And we fully support those.

[Lacey Mosley]

If we call you, it's legitimate.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's right. Because we care. And, you know, I think that podcasters really form this false sense of trust with the people that listen to them. And that's why podcasters are such great scammers.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. But podcast podcasts are scams. So enjoy. This scam came for me on Twitter, and I'll just read what he wrote. Somebody called me with this phone number. I'm not gonna say the phone Number. Cause I want that guy to keep scamming, telling me he was doing some registration online and he mistakenly put my number on what he was registering. He said that my number is similar to his number and that the password of what he was registering was sent to my phone. He was actually now appealing to me to give him a reset code that was actually sent to my phone so that he could finish his registration. I got online to find out more, only to discover that he was actually trying to reset my bank online. Yahoo. Mail password, and that he's a fraudster. Okay, so one, I just wanna say, sir, why are you operating on Yahoo.

[Commercial Announcer]

Mail?

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, I mean, that's honestly not to say he's asking for it, but Yahoo.

[Lacey Mosley]

Mail is for scams.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's a red flag.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, literally, like, you use Yahoo. Mail when you go to a clothing store and they're like, we'll give you 10% off if you give us an email.

[Jamie Loftus]

You shouldn't still be using your first email ever. You gotta. I still have my. If you ever wanna email me and I won't see it, you should email poetrypunk18sn.com that's where all the scams go for me.

[Lacey Mosley]

I see that and I raise you Lil [e-mail] Love it.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, you got the high school graduation year in there. It's a classic.

[Lacey Mosley]

And the lil. It was all. Everyone was like, lil back then. Like, my cousin has an email that was Lil Blue 2007. It was all about what year you

[Jamie Loftus]

were graduating and lil and what you were a lil version of.

[Lacey Mosley]

Exactly. He was a lil version of the color blue. And I was a little chica bonita.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

I called myself beautiful in my own email. I was like, email me at Beautiful little girl.

[Jamie Loftus]

Beautiful little girl graduating. Not yet.

[Lacey Mosley]

Maybe I should, like, look into that. I want to see what kind of emails beautiful little girl is getting. Probably not good ones.

[Jamie Loftus]

I feel like that is like an email you would guess to send a scam to. Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

Also, this intrigued me. Cause I guess anyone calling you with, like, any kind of elaborate story about how they need information from you is always a scam.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. But I feel like they target people and I, like, I've. I've come close to falling for it. I've never gone so far as to, like, give them the info.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

But, like, when they sound like, hey, it would be really helpful if I am automatically like, I don't want to disappoint anyone.

[Lacey Mosley]

So you're like an empath for Scams? Yeah, because there's different types. Because for me, I'm an incentive scammer. So if you call me and you're like, oh, you know, I'm about to wire you this money, all I need is the taxes and fees. Like, I'm more apt to do that scam than I am like, can you help me out? Blah, blah, blah. I'm like, nah, fuck you. What am I getting out of this?

[Jamie Loftus]

I fall for like the Nigerian prince scams of just like, I need. It would be so helpful if you. I'd be so. I. A stranger would be so disappointed in you.

[Lacey Mosley]

And I'm like, no, no, I need this stranger. I need the stranger to like me. Yeah, See? And I guess like, and it's cool to kind of figure out the different strategies. Cause there are people who. I think you're a worse scammer if you're appeal to people's good nature. I think that's more fucked up, I bet.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, it's more fucked up. And I bet less effective too.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, I would think so too. But at the same time, people like to be liked. This scam is probably working for him. He's definitely resetting mad Yahoo accounts. What do you do with that?

[Jamie Loftus]

Do you think it's like the Yahoo people specifically he is targeting? Or is it like. I guess I'm like, how do you get something like this off the ground? I have to admire it maybe?

[Lacey Mosley]

He's like, okay, once I get into your email, then I'll get more information about you and then I'll use that.

[Jamie Loftus]

And then you just reset everything. Yeah, right, right.

[Lacey Mosley]

Because when you have an email, then you can really reset your whole life. That's the crazy thing is like Google is the biggest scam. My Google fucking crashed my Gmail because someone from Buzzfeed sent me a spam email and I opened it and then it sent out a spam email to everyone in my email account and they froze my account and my life fell apart. And I was like, oh my God, I've given so much power to Google. Like, my calendar stopped working. I was like, where do I be? What do I do?

[Jamie Loftus]

You like lose access to your bank, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. Couldn't send any emails, couldn't tell anybody that I was off the grid. It was like I had a full on like meltdown, like panic attack.

[Jamie Loftus]

I think if that happened to me, I would just start over in a new city. Yeah. All right.

[Lacey Mosley]

I get a stick and a bandana and I pack all my belongings in it. I would just leave Just fucking skip town. You're right.

[Jamie Loftus]

You're right.

[Lacey Mosley]

I think that's what you have to do when your email shuts down, it's like, all right, I quit.

[Jamie Loftus]

All right? I've been canceled for some reason and I'll move on. Come on.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's been good, America. Not that good, but okay, now I'm leaving the country. But yeah, so that's interesting to me that this is one of those can you help me out type scams. I am very not likely to fall for those.

[Jamie Loftus]

You a hang up. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Although, guys, if I call you and I need your help, I really care.

[Jamie Loftus]

She means it.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, so help me out and give me your Social Security number.

[Jamie Loftus]

I've already done it.

[Lacey Mosley]

And your Yahoo password. Yes, Jamie. I told Jamie to do this show. Like, she needed to give me her

[Jamie Loftus]

Social Security or she wouldn't like me anymore. And I was like, yeah, I'll do it.

[Lacey Mosley]

That was the only payment my like and approval.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yep, I'll take it.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yo.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Jamie, what, what is your relationship with scams? Have you ever been scammed? Have ever been involved in a scam? You don't have to talk about any current scams that you have going, but.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, no, just, just retired scams at this point. There is a scam that I sort of fell for. I don't know, it got murky. But I. For the past year, I've been interacting a lot with the Mensa.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes, I love your minsa. They're mean people.

[Jamie Loftus]

They're mean spirited people.

[Lacey Mosley]

They're so fucking mean.

[Jamie Loftus]

And it kind of goes without saying that a high IQ society that you need to pay $80 to join is a scam. But it's also like, it's. So that's the one I just sort of. I just had to separatize with them. Cause it was it just like I joined as like a joke for this piece I was writing. And they were like, we'll pay the fee. Just like go and see what they're like and stuff. And they were like, what a flex.

[Lacey Mosley]

She's like, I joined Mensa just to write a piece. They don't let you into Mensa because you pay a fee. You have to be a genius. I'm sitting with a genius.

[Jamie Loftus]

No. Well, that's the thing is, I think that even the testing is a scam. Like, it was not a difficult test.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Cause you're a genius.

[Jamie Loftus]

No.

[Lacey Mosley]

What if I was like, I did it in my sleep. Why Everyone can't do this.

[Jamie Loftus]

There was, it was the thing though. Like, When I was taking the test, like, I don't know. Cause you have to be, like, arrogant enough to think that you could be a genius, right? So there's already, like, this ego point

[Lacey Mosley]

of entry, which is a big thing in scams. Confidence, like, to a point of egomaniac, is, like, necessary.

[Jamie Loftus]

And then you won't want to admit that you're wrong later because you already have been telling people you're a genius. But the questions on the test, like, there were some that were. There was, like, some math shit and some pattern shit that was, like, harder for me. But there was a whole section on just, like, do you know who this famous person is and what's their job like? There was. You had to. You had. Bill Cosby was on the test.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, God.

[Jamie Loftus]

And I was like, I don't know what category he belongs in. Multiple of these categories. This must be an old question.

[Lacey Mosley]

But. So they also aren't updating the test. It sounds like if Bill Cosby's on the test.

[Jamie Loftus]

No, it's just like, they're just. I think that they're, like, going for, like, egomaniacs who are like, yeah, I'm probably a genius, and then just kind of taking their money.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yo, that's actually very smart because it's like, you have to keep the society exclusive enough that people feel privileged, but also, you got to keep that shit going. So somebody got to be getting in there that ain't a genius.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. And then. And then it goes from. There is like, once you. Once you, like, get in and you take the Test, which costs $75, then you gotta pay the $80 fee to actually join the group, and then you gotta participate in your local group, and then you gotta go to Phoenix in the summer. Phoenix. I had to go to Phoenix.

[Lacey Mosley]

What the fuck is in Phoenix, Arizona, for geniuses?

[Jamie Loftus]

A lot of people that were mad at me.

[Lacey Mosley]

There are some.

[Jamie Loftus]

There is. I'm like. My biggest fear is confrontation to my face, and I had maybe 100 confrontations to my face, and I'm cured now, and I'll never be upset about anything again. But it was just like, the, like, level of.

[Lacey Mosley]

What were they mad at you about?

[Jamie Loftus]

They were mad at me because I made fun of them in my piece.

[Lacey Mosley]

And they all read it. Because they read.

[Jamie Loftus]

They were all. They all read it, and then they posted it in this secret Facebook group. And it was just like, all these insults and all these, Like, I had never posted in this group, but they were just like, this stupid bitch. Like, she's.

[Lacey Mosley]

I hate her eyebrows.

[Jamie Loftus]

That was.

[Lacey Mosley]

There was.

[Jamie Loftus]

You have such good eyebrows. Thank you so much. I was like, I just, I was shocked at the low. The low, Like Spencer's gift level humor bar.

[Lacey Mosley]

You guys are geniuses. Can you insult me on like an intellectual level?

[Jamie Loftus]

Challenge me. Give me an insult. I have.

[Lacey Mosley]

Give me a word problem. That's an insult, right?

[Jamie Loftus]

And then, but then, and then there was like a very weird death threat. And I was like, oh, this is serious. Oh, shit. Like, what's going on? And then it just, it just like went. Spiraled out from there. But the. But just on a base level, like a high IQ society where you have to already be like, I'm special to get in. It's so easy to take money from people who believe that they're better than everyone.

[Lacey Mosley]

Cause that's a different type of scam. That's the ego. So you're getting the reward of feeling better than someone. That's like the whole premise of the fyre fest was like hot, beautiful, rich models. You have to have so much money to go here.

[Jamie Loftus]

And once you're in, you'll keep paying to keep appearances up.

[Lacey Mosley]

Which is like for all the other snooty intellectuals.

[Jamie Loftus]

Exactly, because you want to match everyone. And it's weird because, I mean, that group is. It was, it's like more. It was more diverse in like class background. It is like majority white people, but they're. But it's people from all classes. So I'm like, they're like scamming some like low income families who did well on a test. They're like, no, come to Phoenix. Buy this Deadpool shirt we made. Like, I got the Deadpool shirt.

[Lacey Mosley]

That sounds good.

[Jamie Loftus]

It says brain pool on it.

[Lacey Mosley]

Lacy. Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's just Deadpool with a big ass head. And it says brain pool.

[Lacey Mosley]

I mean, look, you gotta flex on a hoe. You know what I mean? You gotta show people that you got that big ass brain.

[Jamie Loftus]

I go out there, I wear my brain pool shirt and people line up.

[Lacey Mosley]

Were there kids in the society?

[Jamie Loftus]

There are kids. Which is another thing about it that freaks me out. Cause it's like, can you imagine a worse thing to do to a kid than tell them they're better than everyone?

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, I loved it. It personally fueled me as a child was knowing that I was better than everyone. I never did mensa, but I was a kid, like aspiring actor.

[Jamie Loftus]

I always, like, you know, like when you go into a mall when you're little, you're like, maybe today's the day when there's just like Is there some pervert? Like that's a scam is like wandering the mall and then just approaching hot kids and being like, do you want to be a star? Like, that could be anyone.

[Lacey Mosley]

That was the biggest scam of the 90s.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Was like people discovering people at water fountains.

[Jamie Loftus]

We were all so excited.

[Lacey Mosley]

I was so hot at the water fountain. Just sipping that water.

[Jamie Loftus]

So, so slow forming, walking in and out of Claire's. It's just like somebody notice me.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. The mall is a place for scams and for creeps.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, it's true.

[Lacey Mosley]

My friend got inducted into a cult from being at the mall.

[Jamie Loftus]

No.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, they were at the mall and they got her.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wow. That's. Honestly, at a mall. I'll fall for almost anything. I've done those dead sea salt face scrubs.

[Lacey Mosley]

If you've ever bought something from a mall kiosk, you've participated in a scam. Like those stores that are literally like a moving cart.

[Jamie Loftus]

I like the belts that you can program to say whatever you want.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. Those were big in the 90s.

[Jamie Loftus]

Those are fun. Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

You get that. You wear it to the B2K concert. Live it up.

[Jamie Loftus]

Number one fan.

[Commercial Announcer]

Sc.

[Lacey Mosley]

All right, well, we're gonna move into our biggest segment here. And my favorite. This is actually really dope because Jamie sent me this story and then I went on a super deep dive about it. But this is a story about Mark. Luke. Mark.

[Jamie Loftus]

Luke.

[Lacey Mosley]

Mark or Luke Olmstead?

[Jamie Loftus]

Ooh, that's the question.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's the question. Mark or Luke or both. So this is a story that happens during the AIDS epidemic in the 80s, before we had good medication and you could actually live for a very long time and have a full life with hiv. And this is about a man who says. He says that because he was diagnosed with HIV that he started doing scams because he didn't think he was gonna live very long. Yeah. However, when I took a deep dive into these scams, I was like, oh, no, honey, you was a scammer.

[Jamie Loftus]

He was setting up for the long haul.

[Lacey Mosley]

Career scammer.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. So Luke and Mark are two brothers. So Luke was two years older than Mark and he was like industrial and athletic. He was an Eagle Scout and a good. And Mark was rumoredly very funny and quick witted and charming, but kind of a fuck up. Which is the real makers of a scammer. Like a scammer.

[Jamie Loftus]

A charismatic fuck up.

[Lacey Mosley]

Charismatic as shit. Scammers, you love them. They embolden you. You feel special around them. They're fucking insane. And I love it. So Luke, just to get really into it, they were both actually gay. And Luke ended up being diagnosed with HIV at the. the same time as Mark. Cause it was an epidemic in the 80s. It was insane. I actually had one of my uncles passed away from HIV and got it in the 80s. And thank God now for modern medicine. And this is not as big of an issue. You know what I mean?

[Jamie Loftus]

It's not a death sentence.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's not a death sentence anymore. Yeah, it's still a big issue, but it's not a death sentence. But at the time it was. And Mark capitalized on this.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mark was scamming as if he was going to die young. Literally. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Is that a song?

[Jamie Loftus]

I think I just referenced a KE$, so it's like 10 years old.

[Lacey Mosley]

Brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack. Mark. Mark, Luke. So to just cut to the chase, Luke passes away. And you know, it's always the good ones. I know, like he was sweet and lovely and everyone seemed like a really good guy. At least how they tell these stories. And Mark was a shady fuck up. And of course he lives.

[Jamie Loftus]

He lives forever.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's how it goes. I have one aunt alive from being a child. One great aunt. And she was the most fucking evil person. And she has outlived everyone forever.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, evil really just. I don't know what it does to you.

[Lacey Mosley]

Fortifies you.

[Jamie Loftus]

It really does. It keeps you alive. I had an evil grandma and we were just like, it's never gonna happen. She's never gonna die. She'll bury us.

[Lacey Mosley]

She's gonna bury you all. It's like John McCain's mom, John McCain's mom must have done some real fucked up shit in her life because that bitch is living.

[Jamie Loftus]

She made a deal. It reminds me of like Rasputin from Anastasia. Make a deal with the devil. And then all of a sudden you can be dead, but also alive.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right? It's. Yeah, she's literally Melisandre from Game of Thrones. Just so fucking old and petty and not going anywhere. And I stand, at some point I'm gonna have to start being evil because I would like to live that long as well. I think around 50. I'm gonna have to just start being a real fucked up bitch.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, we're gonna have to renegotiate our morals entirely.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So that we can live longer. So Mark continues living, but Luke and Mark had been living together since they've been diagnosed in San Diego. So when Luke passes away, you know, Mark's like devastated, but Then Luke's disability checks start coming in the mail. And Mark was responsible for filing his death certificate. Which when the checks started coming, Mark was like, maybe I'll wait on this death certificate. Maybe I'll wait on that.

[Jamie Loftus]

You know, it's like, okay, he's grieving. Maybe he's just.

[Lacey Mosley]

And Luke was a physician, so his. His, like, disability checks were checks.

[Jamie Loftus]

And his. I mean, his cause. Wasn't he, like, researching hiv aids? Like, he was looking for cures? Mark is a fucked up man.

[Lacey Mosley]

He really is.

[Jamie Loftus]

His brother was literally an angel trying to.

[Lacey Mosley]

Trying to save everyone.

[Jamie Loftus]

And Mark was like, well, let's see.

[Lacey Mosley]

Disability checks.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

Mark was. No scruples. So he continues to cash these checks for forever. And then. And Mark is like, hmm, well, if I can cash these checks, then what about a driver's license? Which I don't think is the next natural step here.

[Jamie Loftus]

No, he takes so many, like, huge risks, like, early into this game.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Luke. And this is also the 80s, so the technology is not that great. Isn't this like when Ghost came out and everybody had computers with green letters on them? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Then they like, 20 minutes to turn on.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right.

[Jamie Loftus]

Communicate something to someone and get it away and they wouldn't find out for a year.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Kind of thing.

[Lacey Mosley]

Literally. So this is like the era of, like, Ghost era computers. And, like, nobody's checking that green font that hard. You know, we don't got time.

[Jamie Loftus]

It hurts your eyes.

[Lacey Mosley]

It truly does. And nobody's checking for scams on that green font. So a envelope arrived. So it seems like everything kind of started as opportunistic. It was like, oh, these checks are still arriving. I'm gonna cash these checks. Oh, this envelope says that you have to renew your driver's license. So I'm gonna renew as you. So what I didn't understand was, is that Mark showed up to the DMV and took Luke's driver's license photo.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yep.

[Lacey Mosley]

And then now Mark's face is on Luke's driver's license.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's so hard for me to, like, put myself in a headspace where this works.

[Lacey Mosley]

I guess it's because it's the 80s. Yeah. Because I'm like, I guess they didn't have photos on the computer. So if you were just like, I need to renew my driver's license, they were like, great.

[Jamie Loftus]

They don't have the birth certificate or

[Lacey Mosley]

whatever, or a Social Security card, which don't have photos on them, which is also weird.

[Jamie Loftus]

I mean, I guess your birth certificate would just be you as a. So that doesn't count. That's true.

[Lacey Mosley]

You're holding it up like, is this you?

[Jamie Loftus]

Could be.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's just like me coming in with a photo of a little black baby. It's me. Yes. So I guess you could just go take other people's driver's license photos in the 80s. What a time for scams.

[Jamie Loftus]

Why aren't more people doing that?

[Lacey Mosley]

God, that's amazing.

[Jamie Loftus]

They didn't know that this is a limited time scam.

[Lacey Mosley]

They didn't know technology was gonna improve and you weren't gonna be able to do this.

[Jamie Loftus]

Once the gateway computer comes out.

[Lacey Mosley]

This is over a rap, yo, Bill Gates probably ruin ma People scams. As much as we're like, oh, we love the computer and shit. I bet there's a lot of people out there who were like, bitch.

[Jamie Loftus]

I bet it's almost like when it. When a job becomes defunct because it's, like, been replaced by something automated. You have to retrain. So scammers, like, couldn't do the DMV scams anymore, but they could start Internet scams. They just had to recalibrate their brain.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, they did. And good scammers, they rise to the occasion.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, good scammers never die.

[Lacey Mosley]

No. And not at all. You gotta keep evolving, you know, It's a great. Every great business plan.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's really inspiring when you think about it.

[Lacey Mosley]

Truly. That's why I love scamming. I love them so much. So at this point, he now has his brother's driver's license with his face on it, and he's cashing these disability checks now. Mark is a creative. So weird turn. He actually gets a screenwriting gig. This is crazy. Which is like.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay, but doesn't it involve, like, Whoopi Goldberg?

[Lacey Mosley]

Whoopi went on record and said that she did not endorse this movie, but I think she had about the screenplay, because she was asked about it a few times and was like, yeah, I did, like, hear about it, but I wasn't involved in the project. But the way that Mark was selling it was that he had a screenwriting gig and he was working with two colleagues, and this was all abroad, too. And that Whoopi Goldberg claimed that she wanted to be a part of it. Okay. But then his two colleagues die of aids. Yes.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, I forgot that.

[Lacey Mosley]

So, like, this is still during.

[Jamie Loftus]

This is very sad scandal.

[Lacey Mosley]

It is, but not for Mark.

[Jamie Loftus]

Not for Mark, No. Mark is.

[Lacey Mosley]

Honestly, I was like, is this scam too sad for this show? But Mark is so shady that I

[Jamie Loftus]

Was like, no, it's a fascinating scam. Yeah. I mean, he takes full advantage.

[Lacey Mosley]

He's taking full advantage of an epidemic.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, it's the worst.

[Lacey Mosley]

Everyone else is, like, having concerts and selling T shirts or trying to.

[Jamie Loftus]

His brother was trying to cure HIV aids.

[Lacey Mosley]

And he was like, I see an opportunity.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mark's like, all right, let's see if I can ride a Whoopi Goldberg vehicle. That'll. And it seems like too. He's like a failed writer. Yeah, that. Yeah, absolutely. Yikes.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he has the id, right? He's got the disability checks. What comes next? Credit cards. So he starts getting credit cards in Luke's name. And he's running up these bills. And he had over $40,000 in credit card debt on just one card alone. So now these credit card companies are calling like, hey, look, Luke, Mark, we need our coins. So when one rep from a credit card company phoned and asked for Luke, his mind raced. And then Mark was like, oh, fuck, I am Luke. I just gotta say, I'm Luke. Okay, great, great, great. So he does it and he says, Mr. Ohms said, We've heard of your brother's death. So what he did was, is Mark had a bunch of credit card debt and he decided instead of killing Luke, to kill himself, Right? So he sent in a death certificate for himself.

[Jamie Loftus]

And he's like, exacto knife, like, forging the documents.

[Lacey Mosley]

He also went to Office max, which office max. 80s, enabler of chaos, enabler of scams. And got a stamp that said CC on it.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

And he was using that on his fake death certificates to say certified copy. Cause that's basically the exact same stamp that they would use. Now, if anybody had cared to zoom in, it would have saw that it also said Corona Krugers, which was a childhood Little league baseball team.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, my God.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he was using this Corona Kruger stamp to certify documents and death certificates, which I thought was lit. Because stamps, like in the late 80s, early 90s, people had stamps of their signatures. My mom had had a stamp of her signature that I would use to sign off on detention documents that I got. Cause I didn't know about. I went to detention all the time for just being late. I would have. Like I think I had when I was 12, my sixth grade year, I had 36 detentions. And every time you got five detentions, you got a Friday night, which was like a Friday night was a three. What a punishment to teachers.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. Just for being late.

[Lacey Mosley]

A three hour detention on Friday nights. And so then I would have to do those because my detentions had added up too much.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's like, one thing where anytime I've been punished for being late, like, as a kid, it's like, it has never made me more on time as an adult.

[Lacey Mosley]

I continued to be late.

[Jamie Loftus]

I'm late for almost everything still. Like, it doesn't help.

[Lacey Mosley]

No. You know, being late is a big scam. Because people who are late or tardy end up paying more over their lifetime than people who are prompt. So things like late fees, things like express. Like I went to the airport and had to buy a fast pass through the airport. Cause I was so. Wait, a $15 JetBlue fast pass? Whoa.

[Jamie Loftus]

They do it like Disneyland now.

[Lacey Mosley]

They do it like Disneyland now.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. I just had to expedite a passport. Cause I forgot, like, they're up and they pay.

[Lacey Mosley]

They charge you for that so much. Anytime you don't plan. Anytime you're late. That's a big scam that people are profiting off of. And I wanna stop, but also I can't.

[Jamie Loftus]

I kind of refuse. I'm like, you know what? I'll get another job so I can continue to be late to everything.

[Lacey Mosley]

This is just my. I drive for Lyft so I can be late. Exactly. I just drive for Lyft on the weekends just to be late to things. Oh, yeah. Oh, and also, I'll never buy another fast pass in the airport. Cause now I just know I can say I have it. Cause no one checks.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, wow.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Is that just for JetBlue or is that for.

[Lacey Mosley]

So for everyone else, it could be like priority membership. So if you're flying first class or you have priority boarding, or if you're like one of those sparkle, diamond, silver, sapphire, blue jet guests. You know what I mean?

[Jamie Loftus]

It's just like, you just need the confidence to enter. I want to go into one of those lounges. Lounges someday. You know, those, like, they have, like, the United Lounge now.

[Lacey Mosley]

They check that.

[Jamie Loftus]

They check that. Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

Damn.

[Lacey Mosley]

I know. Because I've. I've tried to just like, breeze just to get in.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, damn. I'll try.

[Lacey Mosley]

Someday I try to breeze in when I actually have the pass too. Because I want to see how easy it is. Exactly. Because I'm like, now I have insurance, but I also want to see if I can just do this whenever. So, yeah, now I'll always say that I have priority boarding. No one checks.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

No one checks also. So tip for people going to LAX if it's ever crowded and there's like, really big Lines I've learned as a scammer to always look for, like, what? ADA compliant or like, handicap accessible. Things exist not to get in the way of someone who actually needs them. But if they're empty, I found that you can get everywhere much faster.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, that makes a lot of sense.

[Lacey Mosley]

So everyone was waiting in line for an escalator. I just took the elevator and then skipped. Skipped.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's such a simple scam.

[Lacey Mosley]

So good. But, yeah, completely sidetracked, but yes. So Mark killed himself and then used a stamp to certify his own death certificate because he had too much credit card debt. So they called Luke, who is actually Mark, and we're like, hey, we heard about your brother's death. And. And the thing is, is it needs a raised and colored seal on this death certificate, and it doesn't have that. So then Mark literally starts panicking. Cause he's like, I made this shit up. Like, the jig is up. They're gonna catch me. All Mark did was tell the guy, tell the woman on the phone that he was really sad about his brother's

[Jamie Loftus]

death and that he did the empathy scam.

[Lacey Mosley]

He did the empathy scam and she just stopped asking questions. Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

That would have been me. I would have fallen for that. So I would have. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Shit.

[Jamie Loftus]

Right?

[Lacey Mosley]

It works, right?

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So under Luke's name, his death has now. His debt has now reached like $50,000.

[Jamie Loftus]

Cause he's, like, doing. He's like partying and like, doing drugs and all this shit.

[Lacey Mosley]

Exactly. So he started working at a magazine and then decided to quit and collect unemployment. Okay, so he is now he's working

[Jamie Loftus]

at the magazine under his own name.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[Jamie Loftus]

As if he's not dead. Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. No, he's working at the magazine under Luke's name. Oh, yes. He's full on.

[Commercial Announcer]

How?

[Lacey Mosley]

Started a career as Luke. No. And he gets confused. Like, as much as we're confused as I'm telling this story, and I'm sure our listeners are confused, Mark Luke is gonna get very confused as well. This is why I started with, like, Mark, Luke. Luke. Mark. So he kills Luke Luke. Right. Next. So first he kills himself, then he kills Luke because now he has too much debt under Luke's name.

[Jamie Loftus]

So now they're both dead.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

So then he goes to the DMV

[Jamie Loftus]

and says, classic Mark Luke.

[Lacey Mosley]

He loves the dmv. Everyone hates the dmv, but he loves the dmv. He's addicted to it. He goes there. No, actually, no, not the dmv. He goes to the Social Security office as Luke after he's killed Mark and Luke. Okay? And he goes there and he says, hey, I need to apply for benefits. Because the difference on, remember, like, he quit his magazine job and was gaining disability, but his disability is not as much as his brother's because his brother was a doctor.

[Commercial Announcer]

Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

And a hero.

[Jamie Loftus]

Right. And a good person. And a good person, may he rest in peace.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he goes to the Social Security office and he says, hey, I'm sick again. I really need to get Social Security again. And the guy at the Social Security office says, Luke Olmstead died. And he goes, but I'm right here, though. And gives him a huge smile. And he was ready with this story that he had been working for doctors Beyond Borders in Africa and lost his passport. Like he had a whole story ready. But what actually happened was the guy at the Social Security office goes, these things happen. And then puts him on disability. These things happen.

[Jamie Loftus]

I just.

[Lacey Mosley]

The 80s was such a good time for scams.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's so weird, I think now, like 30 years from now, what are people gonna say? We should have been scamming and we're not capitalizing on the opportunity.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, there's definitely gotta be some stuff

[Jamie Loftus]

on that we should be. There's gotta be stuff that we should be that just future people will know better than us.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right? Also, some of this I'm like, no one is. Most people aren't working at government jobs because it's their passion. So I'm sure if you catch somebody who's like, not petty, that's the only thing that the government jobs have going for them is like, they hire petty people. I feel like they must be in the interview, like, hey, so Brenda, I see that you've worked in a few other administration positions and like, how likely are you to key someone's car? From a scale of 1 to 10,

[Jamie Loftus]

have you ever worked a government job?

[Lacey Mosley]

No.

[Jamie Loftus]

It is such a. I worked in the comptroller's office office for a couple summers in college and it is, it is full of either very petty people who will like beat a non issue into the ground or people like Mark Luke encounters that are just like, if you say so. I don't give a fuck.

[Lacey Mosley]

I don't give a fuck. Yeah, so those are the two types of people who work there. So he got lucky. He didn't get the petty person. He got the person who's like, I don't. Yeah, people be dying, but they don't be dead anyway. Where do I need to stand? There you go.

[Commercial Announcer]

Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

So he gets away with it again.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes, he gets away with it again. Probably because he's also so charming.

[Jamie Loftus]

So now Luke is alive, but Mark is still dead. Yes, got it.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes, Luke is back alive. He's back, but Mark is still dead. Okay, but actually Mark is alive.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mark is the one doing this just to keep everybody on the same, but canonically he's dead.

[Lacey Mosley]

Robbery and fraud. So Mark also, throughout this time period, has been making pretty good money off these scams and he's living it up. You know, he's buying drugs, he's partying, he's having a good ass time. He also has pretty good health, considering he's not really on any, like, drugs right now for his actual, like, condition, but he's in really good health. And then he realizes, like, oh, fuck, I'm out of money again. Luke is back in debt, right? Right. So he decided to take out a life insurance bid, I guess against his policy. Which basically means, like, you can say that you're gonna die soon and someone will buy your life insurance policy from you at a discounted rate. So he had a $100,000 life insurance policy, and he basically was trying to sell it to another acquisition company that would give him $58,000 for his hundred thousand dollars life insurance. So basically they turn a profit on you wanting to use your money while you're alive.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, that's so dark. But okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

But I mean, it's on board, a whole business. Yeah. And so he tries to do this, and the company's like, you're too healthy. Oh, right. And he. He tells him, oh, I have hiv. Like, you know, this is a death sentence in the 80s. Like, he's using the death sentence to get money, and they're like, you're too healthy. So he stops taking. So now at this point, he is on antiviral medication. He stops taking it and drives his T cell count so that he can get this money.

[Jamie Loftus]

The mental gymnastics of this is like, so alarming.

[Lacey Mosley]

Insane.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he does this and then he gets $58,000. Then guess what, Mark? Luke's back in good health, baby.

[Jamie Loftus]

All of a sudden. Oh, yeah, forgot. Here's my medication.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm living forever.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oops.

[Lacey Mosley]

So I'm sure whoever bought that policy from him, like, lost their job because he just did not die. They're not getting any money from him. He just got $58,000 for nothing.

[Jamie Loftus]

Nothing.

[Commercial Announcer]

Wow.

[Lacey Mosley]

So in August, in 2003, the FBI rushed into Mark's apartment and found narcotics. So this is like Mark, whilst doing Scams also decided to part time be a meth dealer. Right.

[Jamie Loftus]

I forgot the whole meth dealer part of this.

[Lacey Mosley]

I can't even bring it in. Like, I can't even explain it. I just have to be like. He also was good dealing time to bring it. And he had a meth den. He was making a lot of good money.

[Jamie Loftus]

He lived around here, right? Like, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

West Hollywood. Yeah. So he was making in West Hollywood. Great place to be selling meth. Yes. Sells itself.

[Jamie Loftus]

Ugh. It's great.

[Lacey Mosley]

You don't have to try at all.

[Jamie Loftus]

No.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he has a meth den. He has like lots of people hanging out there and people are in and out. He's just, you know, carefree meth dealer scammer. One of his meth dealer regulars snitches on him him to the FBI. Right. So in August 2003, the FBI rushes into Mark's apartment and found narcotics. Five weeks later in court, Mark's public defender made HIV the center of his case. Basically saying like, he has this horrible disease. It is a death sentence. That's why he started selling meth. Because he just, you know, what else was he supposed to do? And obviously there's an outpour of sympathy for this. Right. So he ends up getting a $2,000 restitution fine. $2,200 restitution fine and 300 hours of community service. And the article calls it a white boy special.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yes, yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, get out of here, you little scamp.

[Jamie Loftus]

He was doing meth for years.

[Lacey Mosley]

He was sad, Jamie.

[Jamie Loftus]

He was sad. And they're like, he got a death sentence 20 years ago.

[Lacey Mosley]

Nevermind that he's still alive. Never mind that it's 2003 and he had it. He got HIV in 1980.

[Jamie Loftus]

This is. It is so hard to like contextualize this person. In my head. You're like, yeah, I mean, he is grieving like the first couple years. You're like, he's maybe grieving. Maybe there's some dissociation going on. But we're like 20 years deep at this point. You're like, no, you should have. No, you've re killed your own brother like three or four times.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's. Sir, you are not sad. You are a scammer. Yeah. You're too deep in the lifestyle at this point.

[Jamie Loftus]

Point. So the white boy special. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

When he got out, immediately he. So before he went to jail. I can't even like tell this story in an accurate way. Before he went to jail and he was selling all this meth, he was on Craigslist and he was like, I should get a real job.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, I forgot about this.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he was gonna get a real job, but he got arrested. Like, so he had an interview set up to go to this Craigslist job, and then he got arrested by the FBI. So he was in jail for a little bit before they released him with restitution and 300 hours of community service. Yeah. So when he gets out of jail, he finds the same job on Craigslist, and he goes in to apply for the job. So he's like, hey. Hey, guys. Yeah, sorry I didn't show up for the first interview. I was in jail. Little meth thing. Don't worry about it. I was sad.

[Jamie Loftus]

Doing community service. Gonna be fine.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he goes back and he gets this job.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he ends up starting to sell meth again. I wish I could, like, tell this in a way that, like, builds up to it, but no, he just starts selling meth again.

[Jamie Loftus]

Just like, wow, he's really not gonna learn this lesson. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So I guess he tried to, you know, do a legitimate job when he got out of jail. The little.

[Jamie Loftus]

What was the job?

[Lacey Mosley]

So it was like a print. Like a. Like a marketing job for a magazine.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. Which apparently he was good at.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Scammers are great at marketing. Yes. We're good at brands. We're good at hooking people. We're real good at it. So he's doing that for a little bit. It's not giving him enough money. He goes back to selling meth. This time, the FBI raids again.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

And they find his passport, his six passports.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh.

[Lacey Mosley]

And they go in his wallet. Cause, like, they open the door, and they're like, mom, Mark Olmstead, you're under arrest. And he's like, I'm not Mark. I'm Luke. I'm not Mark. I'm Luke. I'm Luke. I'm Mark. I'm Luke. I'm Mark. I'm Mark and Luke.

[Jamie Loftus]

Hello.

[Lacey Mosley]

And the FBI goes into his wallet and finds several IDs for Mark and for Luke.

[Jamie Loftus]

No. All the DMV scams catch up.

[Lacey Mosley]

Why? You got them in the same wallet. You need a Mark wallet and a Luke wallet. He literally had his, like, basically a box that just said crime on it. And they're like, I guess we should open this one. And they find, you know, meth that he's selling. Yeah. And then they find six passports, death certificates, and Mark and Luke's DMV identifications. Okay, sir, why were you keeping them together all The.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. You get various plants throughout your house, and that's where you hide things.

[Lacey Mosley]

What are you doing? Speaking from experience. So he goes to James jail.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

But really for only, like, a short amount of time.

[Jamie Loftus]

Again.

[Lacey Mosley]

He. A few years.

[Jamie Loftus]

He can't get caught.

[Lacey Mosley]

No. This time the judge was like, okay, we do have to send you to jail, Mark. I know you're sad, but, like, you gotta go to jail a little bit. And he's like, okay. Darn it. So he goes to jail. He gets out of prison. He only. He only. He only served less than a year.

[Jamie Loftus]

He's just, like, there for a semester.

[Lacey Mosley]

Honestly, he's harmless. You know what I mean? He sold a little meth. He did some fake identity stuff.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

He's probably gonna kill his brother and sell meth again.

[Lacey Mosley]

But what are we gonna do? He's so nice, you know?

[Jamie Loftus]

Did you hear? Whoopi Goldberg was almost in one of his amazements.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he gets out of jail, and he says that he had survivor's guilt and that he thanks God for being in prison because he needed to feel a little punished.

[Commercial Announcer]

Just a little, though.

[Lacey Mosley]

Just a little, though. Just a little. So he gets out, and now his latest business opportunity has been screenwriting for oligarchs. He goes back into the screenwriting stuff.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wait, what is screenwriting for oligarchs? That sounds so dark.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he has a bunch of Russian film investors that want to produce American films, so he's helping them do so with all of his experience that he has from not producing anything ever.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. Okay. Mediocrity reigns. Cool.

[Lacey Mosley]

And he's also working on a prison memoir called Ink from the Pen From

[Jamie Loftus]

Less Than a Year in Prison. That is a scam in itself.

[Lacey Mosley]

He went to prison for less than a year, and now he's writing Oz. I also. I love the title Ink from the Pen, because, like, the pen. The penitentiary. Oh, wow. Ink. But this is writing from the pen. Like, that's deep. That's sexy. I wanna read Ink from the Pen. Oprah, please put it on your list.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oprah's fallen for scam artists.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. A million little pieces.

[Jamie Loftus]

James Fry is thriving out here.

[Lacey Mosley]

He wrote more books.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. He continued. And then he's like, all right, these ones are fiction, but they're still.

[Lacey Mosley]

Alright, guys, you got me. I won't say I live this one, but.

[Jamie Loftus]

But still, really compelling narrative. Damn.

[Lacey Mosley]

Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

I honestly would read Ink from the Pen the same way I would read, like, that Marianne Williamson book. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

I wanna know.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. I'm like, I am curious at what you thought you went through.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm curious at what you're making up that you thought you went through.

[Jamie Loftus]

For true and for fake, you're insulting people who are actually serving time for far lesser crimes. But, yeah, sure, Mark, tell us. You only did a million billion crimes.

[Lacey Mosley]

You're the worst. Your only redeemable quality, I guess, is that. That you were ill fated in a time where, you know, a horrible disease was wreaking havoc on our community and our world.

[Commercial Announcer]

It's so.

[Lacey Mosley]

But that's not even redeeming.

[Jamie Loftus]

Right? It's so. It's like such a. Like, I don't want to, like, discount. Like, I'm sure he was in deep grief. I can't imagine, like, everyone around you dying from the same disease and feeling like your death is inevitable. But then it's also like, what kind of person then capitalizes on that, like, and takes advantage of this horrible thing?

[Lacey Mosley]

Advantage. Like, not just by, like, doing, you know, the Social Security fraud and the disability fraud, but also by being in court and being like, hey, I thought I was gonna die, so I made a meth den. Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Like, and just like, taking advantage of, like, everyone's like, sympathy. Yeah. Empathy and just. Just being like, yeah, I'm dealing meth because aids. And then everyone's like, oh, like, no one wants to be the person to be. Like, what does that mean?

[Lacey Mosley]

But also, I'm glad that something positive came out of such a horrible time.

[Jamie Loftus]

I, like, he did get to. I mean, I'm sure that his. His brother is somewhere being very disappointed in him. And he is. He's like. He's like, sober now and writing these shit. So that's good. It's a good story. I don't even know. It's like, this is the kind of scam where it's like, who is besides like, the emotional trauma to his family

[Lacey Mosley]

and the meth he was dealing to

[Jamie Loftus]

people and the meth he was dealing.

[Lacey Mosley]

His meth is a bad. Meth is a bad drug.

[Jamie Loftus]

And the insult to everyone who was. Was alive during the AIDS epidemic. Besides that, who did he really hurt? He took money from the government and from insurance companies. And I like that part of the scam.

[Lacey Mosley]

Cause fuck the government and fucking insurance company.

[Jamie Loftus]

Exactly. Like, that's fun. But then it's like, but he also hurt a lot of people. Damn, that's a complicated one. It is as emotionally fraught.

[Lacey Mosley]

Mark Luke.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mark Luke. Which, whichever you're identifying by these days, poor Luke. Luke literally only tried to do good and, like, loved his brother and Brother,

[Lacey Mosley]

we got the short end of the stick. Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yikes.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, man.

[Jamie Loftus]

I'm gonna give my brother permission to do that to me.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. When I die, like, please bring me back to life again. Over and over again.

[Jamie Loftus]

Then just keep killing me over and over. Don't worry. I think it's funny wherever I am.

[Lacey Mosley]

I think it's so funny wherever I am.

[Jamie Loftus]

But only take money from the government and insurance agencies. Don't hurt regular people.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. That's all we want.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

And scam of the week. I actually wanna highlight a business. Ooh. That I really love. Afterthertherapturepetcare.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's the longest website title in history.

[Lacey Mosley]

What is it again? HTTP www.aftertherapturepetcare.com okay, I'm ready. Slash backslash. So listen, dear fellow Christians, as the Apostle Paul described in Thessalonians as quoted above, at some point in future, Jesus will come in the air and catch up the church from the the earth and then return to heaven with said church. This is known as the Rapture and it will be glorious. But what about pets? Who will take care of our pets when we are gone? That ain't going to heaven. You know all dogs go to heaven. Apparently. No.

[Jamie Loftus]

So this is on the assumption that pets aren't included in the Rapture?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

Which I don't know if there's any evidence to this conclusion.

[Jamie Loftus]

Every pet I've ever had is more worthy of being a part of the Rapture than me.

[Lacey Mosley]

Than most human beings.

[Jamie Loftus]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Well, the after the Rapture pet care story starts because the idea came from seeing someone else as a joke. An atheist created a site in England that said that she would take care of Christian owned pets after the Rapture and asked for £70 as a donation. She promoted it as a joke and as it virally made the rounds amongst non believers who enjoyed and making fun of us Christians. My husband saw it, he's an Internet geek and he told me about it. Admittedly, it did seem funny. A couple weeks later, Carol came back and suggested that we start the Rapture pet care store together. Carol, a real Christian name Y. She said that she had asked several. So it goes from first person to then like second person. Like wasn't this I story? I'm just gonna make all these she's eyes because that was very confused. Then it goes back to okay. Oh my God. So she tells like a bunch of Christian friends about this service saying that if you pay, I will ensure the time of the Rapture. Your pets get taken care of. Now here's where I'm confused.

[Jamie Loftus]

So does she not include her?

[Lacey Mosley]

Is she not going to have it?

[Jamie Loftus]

She just admitted she was a scammer. She was like, listen, there's no way

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm going to hell in gasoline draws.

[Commercial Announcer]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

I've been sending sister but beginning and

[Jamie Loftus]

it's like, I'm going to hell and I'm taking your pets with me.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like what? Right? Like where you going to be at? Where she does say she doesn't.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh my God.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's, that's really what's confusing about it.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay, so.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh God. So while they're planning the system, they thought about stories of pet rescues in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Imagine how many more pets would have been saved if there had been a database of pets and volunteers is activated immediately. This is something we could do for Christian owned pets, but only Christian owned pets.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, not heathen pets.

[Lacey Mosley]

No, not heathen pets.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

Also imagine like yo owner a heathen. So now you gotta be a heathen by proxy.

[Jamie Loftus]

I gotta like get my dog baptized or something. Yeah, I gotta sprinkle some water.

[Lacey Mosley]

He's good to go, right? Yeah. So they created a database that is stored on multiple secure servers with multi location online and offline password protected backups. While I don't intend to be here when the rapture comes, we are building a network of non Christians who have agreed to rescue and care for our members pets if we all disappear. So. Oh, she isn't planning to be here when the rapture comes, but she's like,

[Jamie Loftus]

she's just setting up a Google Doc of people who could maybe take care of these dogs if they weren't Christians.

[Lacey Mosley]

Mark Luke is definitely going to be taking care of some of these songs.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mark Luke. Oh my God.

[Lacey Mosley]

Mark Luke, get in on this.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, this is a good way. You don't gotta sell, sell meth. There's a better way. It's participating in this scam.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh my gosh. So they have a monthly fee to upkeep how much? Oh my God. It does not say. I want. I want to know how much the monthly fee is.

[Jamie Loftus]

So wait, so she's just saying like we're gonna put your pet's name down so that a non Christian person will later show up after all. After we're all in heaven.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. Okay.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

To watch your dog.

[Jamie Loftus]

To watch your dog for you. That is a very generous. I wonder, is there any way of telling how popular this service is? Or it's like over.

[Lacey Mosley]

I think people are using it. I'm trying to get on the site right now. Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

This is really. This is a very creative. This is like a sub, sub, sub skill. I like a niche scam.

[Lacey Mosley]

I do too. Like we're really taking care of like religion. Register your pets.

[Jamie Loftus]

Christian pet owners who believe that the rapture is coming soon also.

[Lacey Mosley]

How soon? What if your pet dies and you've been paying this rapture insurance?

[Jamie Loftus]

Is there any refund involved? I'm sure there's not. So that's so wild.

[Lacey Mosley]

Payment. We have never taken payments for our service is what they say.

[Commercial Announcer]

What?

[Lacey Mosley]

We state that it is a $10 fee to weed out jokers who would submit fake pets thinking they are funny.

[Jamie Loftus]

That is.

[Lacey Mosley]

I mean, this is a free service, but it costs $10.

[Jamie Loftus]

There's.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's free. But also put your credit card information in right here.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's a merch shop.

[Lacey Mosley]

They've got merch. They've got merch. Oh, my. Oh, my God. After the rapture Pet care has. You can get photos of your dog. Okay. Will you get Rapture? You ain't taking the shirt with you? Yeah, this is so.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh. Oh, no, it's for the volunteers. After the Rapture. Pet care. Volunteer pet. So that's for.

[Lacey Mosley]

For the sinners.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wow, there's even merch for the sinners. That's more inclusive than I thought.

[Lacey Mosley]

Listen, if you going to hell, you might as well go impeccably dressed. Get you.

[Jamie Loftus]

I don't like that. There's pictures of souls being sucked up into heaven.

[Lacey Mosley]

That is so disturbing. But then. Okay, so guys, it's pictures of souls being sucked up into heaven. And then it's like cats and dogs watch from the window. Watching very passively, by the way.

[Jamie Loftus]

I don't know.

[Lacey Mosley]

Low key. That dog look bad. Like, for real, though. So y' all just gonna go to heaven, though? Y' all gonna leave me down here with no kibbles, no bits? Oh, that's so crazy.

[Jamie Loftus]

He's living with a family of atheists. They got fucking Bill Maher on in the background. Now he's gotta live with Bill Maher watchers.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, God.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's not fair. That's hell on earth. That'.

[Lacey Mosley]

Fair. Oh, my God. Shout out to aftertheraptionpacker.com with a $10 free. Free donation. That's mandatory.

[Jamie Loftus]

And then you'll live in their Google Doc forever.

[Lacey Mosley]

Forever. That's password protected on and offline. That could mean literally anything.

[Jamie Loftus]

There's like, oh.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, my God. It's amazing having you, Jamie.

[Jamie Loftus]

Thank you for having me.

[Lacey Mosley]

Where can people find you?

[Jamie Loftus]

You can find. My podcast is the Bechdelcast. I host it with Caitlin Durant and we bring a guest on Lacey's been on twice and we love review movies from a feminist perspective. And you can find me on Twitter ameeloftish help and Instagram amecrysuperstar.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. All right, guys, as always, you can find us at scamgodesspod on all the Internet's platforms. Gmail, Twitter and and Instagram and Yahoo.com and then you can find me, guys at divalacy D I V A L A C I on all platforms. Guys, we love you. Stay skeeping, stay shady.

[Jamie Loftus]

And if you're listening, Mark, Luke, come on the show.

[Lacey Mosley]

Mark, Luke, I need you on the show. Mark or Luke or both, whoever is

[Jamie Loftus]

alive at the time.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, I've got it. Is Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheduled.