The Fruitcake Funneler with the Florida Girls

Summary

Scam Goddess — "The Fruitcake Funneler" with the Florida Girls

Date: January 21, 2020
Host: Laci Mosley
Guests: Patty Guggenheim, Melanie Field, Laura Chinn

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Episode Overview

This hilarious and lively episode of Scam Goddess features Laci Mosley and three of her close friends and co-stars from Florida Girls: Patty Guggenheim, Melanie Field, and Laura Chinn. Together, they dive into a wild historic scam involving a fruitcake bakery in Corsicana, Texas and the mild-mannered accountant who siphoned off millions while blending into small-town life. The conversation meanders through the scam’s ridiculous highs and lows, as well as personal tangents on phones, light bulbs, scammers' psychology, and the absurd side of fraud.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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Scam Experiences & Everyday Scams

[03:18–07:00]

• The guests discuss their personal relationships to scams, starting with Melanie’s take:

  “I own an Apple phone, so I feel like... Apple’s the biggest scam.” — Melanie Field [03:23]

• They riff on the “Apple ecosystem,” forced obsolescence, and predatory accessories:

  “Every time I go into the Apple Store, I'm buying something new, but I'm aware I'm being scammed... I'm not gonna get a Samsung.” — Melanie [03:31]
  “Every industry has learned how to create middlemen where there need be none.” — Laci Mosley [05:41]

• Tensions on corporate product design leading to constant, unnecessary spending.
• Light bulbs as an original scam: Edison bulbs were engineered to fail, ensuring more purchases.
• Religion is jokingly painted as the biggest scam of all:

  “Church is a scam that I participate in. Jesus is like... I look at religion like the casino.” — Laci [11:15]

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Listener Letter: The Principal Gift Card Scam

[12:45–21:33]

• Listener “Roddy Ricch” writes in about nearly falling for an email scam at a “free paying school”:

  “If only they had dedicated more time to learning basic English, I could have been fooled out of $500.” — Listener Roddy [14:20]

• The scammer pretends to be a school principal, requesting gift card purchases and codes.
• Laci and guests dissect the language of the scam email, sussing out telltale signs:

  “Anytime somebody gives you an answer to a question you haven’t asked up front, something is off.” — Laci [23:18]

• Discussion turns to blackmail emails (“I know your password!”) and how scammers use fear, urgency, and access to commonly reused credentials to pressure victims.

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Historic Hoodwinks: The Fruitcake Bakery Embezzlement

[25:14–62:14, main story begins]

Introduction to Sandy Jenkins & Corsicana's Collin Street Bakery

• Sandy Jenkins, a “regular, forgettable” accountant, is trusted and unremarkable—ideal for a scammer:

  “If you’re a scammer with a forgettable face, or at least a forgettable name...” — Laci [28:25]

• Collin Street Bakery’s global fruitcake mail-order empire, and their unique product’s eternal shelf life.
• Jenkins rises to Corporate Controller as the bakery expands.

Descent into Embezzlement

• Jenkins starts small, skimming petty cash—then his tastes escalate:

  “...he drove up to the Dallas dealership and bought a gold Lexus sedan... on the company dime.” — Laci [34:22]

• He exploits accounting software’s check-printing feature, forging signatures for fraudulent checks to pay off personal credit cards.
• Sandy covers his tracks by manufacturing matching fake and real vendor checks, leaving the legitimate ones undelivered.

The Wild Spending

• Sandy and his wife Kay transition to an extravagant lifestyle: remodeling homes, hosting high-end parties, trading in flip-flops for Louboutins.

  “Soon his closets were overflowing with Ferragamo and Gucci. In 2006, he bought five Rolexes for $52,000.” — Laci [38:19]

• The couple’s spending explodes:

  “He bought a house in Santa Fe for $658,000 on his credit card... 43 private flights at a cost of half a million dollars.” — Laci [38:51, 39:35]

• Kay initially believes Sandy’s stories about gifts and work bonuses, but is quickly swept up (“she quits her job” [42:38]).

Signs & Suspicion (or Lack Thereof)

• The bakery’s owners are baffled at persistently low profits despite booming business:

  “They couldn't figure it out... ‘we must be doing something wrong. It slipped through our hands again.’” — Laci [43:48]

• Sandy offers to “investigate” discrepancies, covering his own tracks.
• Locals question the couple’s newfound riches, but no one suspects the quiet accountant.

The Downfall

• A new accountant, Ms. Symmetric, joins and spots a suspicious check to Capital One (the bakery had no account there).
• In 14 minutes, she finds $400,000 in discrepancies:

  “She clicked on one link and was like, ‘Oh, you’re being robbed!’” — Patty [51:22], Laci [51:26]

• Email to management:

  “It looks like Sandy Jenkins has been embezzling money.” — Laci quoting the accountant [51:50]

• Sandy is confronted and fired; total theft: $16,649,786.91 plus $114,000 in cash [53:57].

  “I’m so proud of Sandy. 16 mil, bruh!” — Laci [54:06]

The (Almost) Getaway & Aftermath

• Sandy and Kay stash valuables, scatter gold bars by Lady Bird Lake, and flee—only for police to find the loot.
• Both are indicted; Kay maintains she was innocent.
• The bakery holds a notorious estate sale to recover funds:

  “...a $14,000 gold Dunhill lighter, Cartier silver cigarette case, boxes of crystal, Louis Vuitton, Balenciaga, and Hummel figurines...” — Laci [60:07]

• Sentence: Kay gets five years probation; Sandy gets 10 years in prison (2014).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Petty cash wasn’t enough... A few weeks later... bought a gold Lexus sedan with leather interior.” — Laci [34:16–34:22]
• “He was up here... like, they still look very corny, but they’re in nice clothes... very unsuspecting corny couple.” — Laci [39:52–40:02]
• “I buy brand new electric cars... I fix them up.” — Sandy’s dubious car-flipping excuse, hosts in stitches [42:17–42:28]
• On lavish estate sale:

  “Along with a frighteningly large collection of Hummel figurines.” — Laci [60:33]
  Guest: “Those are, like, little figurines of people shoveling snow.” — Patty [60:35]

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Comedic and Social Commentary

• The hosts constantly highlight the bizarre ways scammers operate—and how basic, “forgettable” people can slip under the radar.
• The small-town culture, with its sharp social hierarchies and penchant for gossip, stands out as both an enabler and a late-warning system.
• Ongoing jokes about scammers' psychology, the tangibility of material wealth, and absurd purchases (horsehair mattresses, gold lighters).
• Laci’s ongoing refrain:

  “Stay schemin’!”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:18–07:00: Apple, product design, tech as scam
• 12:45–21:33: Listener scam letter, gift card "principal" scam, blackmail email tangents
• 25:14: Historic Hoodwinks – Fruitcake scam story begins
• 34:16: Petty cash to Lexus
• 38:19: Wild spending spree—Rolexes, Santa Fe house
• 43:48–46:07: Bakery baffled at missing money, bogus “investigations”
• 51:03–53:03: The new accountant uncovers the scam
• 53:57: Total value of theft revealed
• 54:11–59:39: Looting valuables, the discovery, legal aftermath
• 60:07–61:13: Estate sale and Hummel figurines

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Conclusion

Laci, Patty, Melanie, and Laura deliver a riotously detailed tour through small-town fraud, societal blindspots, and the peculiar excesses of white-collar criminals. The blend of deep-dive true con storytelling and crossfire comedic commentary makes the episode both a cautionary tale and a celebration of scammer schadenfreude.

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Stay schemin’, congregation!

Transcript

[A]

Scams C. Robbery and Fraud. Scam.

[B]

CA

[A]

Robbery and Fraud. Scam Goddess. What's poppin, congregation? It's YA girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Yes. I named the show after me. And we're back with a very special edition of the show. Guys, I always say I'm excited, but I super ecstatic, honey. For these guests, I have my cast members and very good friends from Florida girls in the building. I will introduce them to you when. By when, honey. Starting with right across from me. What is up? It is Ms. Patricia, aka Patty Guggenheim. You've seen her, obviously, on Florida Girls. You can see her splitting up together. She's a ground sling, honey. Hey, Patty. How are you? Hi.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. I'm so good. I'm so happy to be here.

[A]

I'm happy you're here. We finally did it. It's so hard to get everybody's schedules together. Honey. Everyone is so busy. Next, next to Patty, we have Melanie Fields. You can see my girl Melanie in the second season of you Honey.

[B]

Honey. Yes.

[A]

Playing Sunrise. I love me some sunrise.

[B]

That's a scam.

[A]

And obviously it's Caitlin on Florida Girls and Patty who plays Erica on Florida Girls. I should have said that, too. And across from her is the Laura Chandley creator and star of Florida Girls and a very good friend of mine as well.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

H. How are you?

[C]

I'm so good.

[D]

How are you?

[A]

I'm good. Other than the fact that, like, I'm glad this is a podcast chat. Cause y' all can't see my under eyes are swollen right now. I just. I use some face cream, but it's, like, expensive face cream.

[D]

Yeah, but expensive doesn't mean you're not gonna be allergic.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

No, my skin is very not hypoallergenic to money.

[D]

I'm allergic to pore only.

[A]

I am very allergic to pore. I'm like, is that pore? No, that'll break me out. Don't put that pore on me. No, it's probably allergies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I probably just need to change my pillowcase.

[B]

That's how you know it's time.

[D]

Do you dye a silk? Silk case?

[A]

No, I use a little. Cause I don't like how, like, I have oily skin. So I don't use a pillowcase that's silky because it'll, like, leave your face behind. Yeah.

[B]

I recently learned that dust mites are, like, living things.

[C]

You learned over there.

[B]

Like, I had no idea. Like, I was like, oh, dust mites is just like a Cute word for, like, little dust particles. It's like. No, they're mites. That means they're animals.

[C]

They have little legs.

[A]

Yeah. And you never watch them, like, videos on the Discovery Channel where they, like, zoom into them real hard and then they walk around on all your.

[B]

No.

[A]

And I don't want them to know.

[D]

Eating your skin and your hair skins. Yeah. It's nasty, disgusting. And that's why your mattress. They say if you have a mattress for, like, 10 years, it weighs, like, 15 pounds heavier because it's filled with, like, your body and the bugs that eat your body while you sleep.

[A]

Delicious. Guys, change those mattresses. That's not a scam. Change your mattress.

[D]

It is a scam. Cause I work for a mattress company. You did, so. No, I'm just kidding.

[A]

Laura plugs her mattress company.

[D]

Now gotta buy a mattress.

[A]

Big mattress, two years.

[C]

She's really Larry, that guy from those mattress commercials.

[A]

What's y' all's relationships with scams? Like, have you ever been scammed? Have you ever been scammed?

[D]

Have you ever.

[B]

I own an Apple phone, so I feel like. I feel like Apple's the biggest scam.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we talk about the Bluetech gang.

[C]

Gang.

[A]

I'll never leave, though.

[B]

It's the type of thing where, like, every time I go into the Apple Store, I'm buying something new. But I'm aware I'm being scammed at all times, but I'm not gonna do anything about it. I'm not gonna change. I'm not gonna get the Samsung thing. Even though they have Samsung stores now,

[A]

they have a whole store for the

[B]

Android, it's like a full. Like the Apple Store, but for Samsung.

[A]

Who was in there? What kind of people?

[B]

It was empty.

[D]

Is it, like, a fact that Apple isn't as good as these other phones?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

There's operating. So, like, it's almost like the MacBook and then, like, the Windows operating system. There's a reason, like, why schools and a lot of places still have Windows operating systems. Because, like, for when you're doing work and stuff or when you're opening spreadsheets or when you're doing, you know, that kind of work, it's just simpler and less conversion than if you have a MacBook and you have to use iOS programs, however, it's just sexier. It's the Babbage technology.

[B]

It's like, it's direct.

[C]

I feel like it's, you know, you can. What's it called when you can, like, you easily do things?

[D]

Efficient, User friendly. User friendly.

[B]

But the scam of it is like, you know, they're always changing the jack. Or it's like, you have to get something new. Or like, I just got a new phone and it started acting up. So I was like, oh, it's just a bad one. And I brought it back to the store and was like, this phone is acting up. I bought it two weeks ago. It's time for, like, I need a new one. Change it out. And they asked me what was wrong with it, and I was like, the screen's kind of weird. And, well, they wouldn't give me a new phone. They just replaced the screen. They're like, it's not the phone. It's like, you need a new screen. I'm like, I bought it two weeks ago. I feel like I'm well within the warranty. I should just get a brand new one.

[A]

Damn. They tried to scam you. They use.

[B]

They did scam.

[A]

Oh, damn. Use that warranty. Especially if you have it. You got to use it. But they will try to, like, cheap you out.

[B]

Ridiculous.

[A]

Oh, man. The thing I hate about it most is, like, now that I get on airplanes, I have AirPods. I'm like, how am I supposed to hear the plane? Like, how am I supposed to hear the TV on the plane?

[C]

Exactly. You have to have an adapter.

[D]

You have to have a cord.

[A]

There's no adapter to an AirPod.

[D]

No, you have to bring that with you.

[C]

You have to bring that little bink, bink. And then your. Not the. The AirPods.

[A]

Then you have to bring your other. Yeah, I was about to say, you can't AirPod it on the plane. There's no Bluetooth.

[D]

I have a laptop that's from 2014, and they don't sell laptop cases for it anymore. So I'm like, I guess I have to get a new laptop.

[C]

You have to make one at home.

[D]

Make my own sleeve.

[A]

Every. Every industry has learned how to create middlemen where there need be none.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Did you. I mean, here are the scam of light bulbs.

[A]

Oh, no, it's a light bulb.

[D]

You don't need them. You don't need light.

[C]

Because the sun guys scam. No. So they created. So light bulbs should. Like, they were created first and they would work forever, like a hundred years at a time. And they made them so that they would burn out. So you are having to buy light bulbs over and over and over again now. But they. I mean, I guess LED is kind of in that now. We're okay. But the lighting is so bad. With led, but they originally started with light bulbs that would just, like, you would have one for your lifetime.

[D]

Oh, that would be amazing. Could you imagine, like, going to get your light bulb is, like, a big deal. Yeah.

[C]

Like, oh, it's huge. My college light bulb.

[B]

I have this light bulb since birth,

[C]

obviously, but it's like a whole industry of, like, figuring out how to make things, like, break.

[B]

Well, that's what I feel like Apple's doing. It's like, it's making it. Like I said, my experience with scams is, like, I try to avoid them at all costs. Like, I'm pretty savvy. I'm not gonna, like, fall into traps. I think I'm pretty good with that. But, like, Apple is a scam that I sign up for. I sign up for it willingly.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And I don't read the contract. In fact, I'm trying to get with Apple so I can get my own clauses up in there, since everybody just signing their life away.

[C]

Yeah, that's right.

[A]

But you didn't read your Apple contract. I also have a clause.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. And it means that you need to give me your kidney. You should have read it. Yeah. It says here the longest shining light bulb shown for 110 years. That's what I'm saying. Wow.

[D]

110 years.

[A]

So they should technically outlive us. Wow.

[B]

Exactly. But instead, you have to buy one every couple months.

[A]

This is trash.

[C]

Yeah, it's trash.

[A]

Well, we had a listener. Right in. Guys, if you have a scam that you've currently been duped with. I'm so sorry, I will laugh, but please share it with me. Or if you are running a scam that you've retired. Like I say, I don't want to fuck your bag up. Email [e-mail] Today's listener letter comes from Roddy Rich. That's a fake name. If y' all know, you know, um, the Box. Um, y' all know who Roddy Bitch is? No, I just hit a lick in the box. I just. Okay, well, he currently has the album that is, like, competing with Selena Gomez is rare to be number one. So it's on top. And, like, we're just streaming the box. We're streaming the box all day for. For racism. JK Just Selena's not a racist, but we still stream in the Box.

[D]

Um, Just kidding.

[A]

Selena's not a racist. Well, as far as we know now.

[D]

As of right now. Today.

[A]

As of today.

[D]

But by the time this airs, she might be.

[A]

They might dig up A blog, Honey, that's how they got Kamiya. She had a racism blog.

[D]

What was her blog? What did she say?

[A]

Oh, sis, it was so long and full of so many racisms.

[D]

Was she racist against everybody?

[A]

Well, mostly black and brown people and Asian people.

[B]

I'm on it.

[A]

I'm on it. Okay, hold on. Let me see if I can pull it up real quick.

[B]

Oh, I'm Googling as we speak on my Apple blog.

[D]

She had a blog that she forgot to take down where she would go on racist rants.

[A]

Oh, when I say sis was out here, if you were looking for a blog on Tumblr for racism specifically, you would go to her. You'd be like, no, she's the biggest in the game. Need those racist memes.

[B]

It was a Tumblr.

[A]

Yeah, Tumblr blog.

[D]

Oh, no. But why she had to share her racist thoughts. She was trying to get friends together

[A]

to see Cam Cabello was working overtime for racism. I was like, girl, sis, you should took a break. Like, this is you working too hard.

[D]

And a full singing career, too. That's, like, a lot. That's a full schedule.

[A]

But the Twitter gangsters, they have.

[C]

And she goes to movies at the Grove. I saw her there. Oh.

[A]

So her blog was called john316 on Tumblr, and she was retweeting things or reblogging things like these buckets of chicken, these little Negroes, watermelons. But that was just where it began. Watermelon.

[D]

But what is it? Just a photo.

[A]

This is a photo of a white woman playing basketball holding some chicken. And then there's a black woman who's also playing basketball behind her, who really wants the chicken.

[B]

Of course she does.

[A]

The chicken?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

She replaced the chicken with the basketball with a chicken. Wait, a seatbelt.

[D]

I wanna know if she did the Photoshopping of that.

[A]

If she did that, I would respect it more. Here's one that was like a little black baby in P. It's supposed to say piglet, but it says niglet.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. It goes on forever. There's tons of things.

[B]

Her apology that she issued was like, says that she was 16. She was younger and ignorant at the time. And now it says, I'm 22. Now I'm an adult, and I've grown

[A]

and learned in six years. She got a black friend named Normani.

[D]

Oh, no, this is only six years ago.

[A]

Yes, honey, this is. Remember Temple Run? This is Run, Nigga Run.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

When I tell you, it goes on forever. Oh, and it's still up oh, no, it's not up. But there's a street shops. Twitter is very petty. So someone screenshot her whole thing before she could take it down, and they went to town.

[D]

Was there anything else on the Tumblr or was it just, like, her brand of racist humor?

[A]

It was some Bible quotes.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[C]

But what does it have to do with John 3:16, which, if I'm not

[A]

mistaken, is about, like, love the neighbor or something? No, it's like God loved his. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. Ooh, I'm going to head.

[B]

Don't worry, I'm Googling it.

[A]

I'm pretty sure that's it.

[C]

But, like, how are you?

[A]

Like, I was brought up in the church. If I got that wrong, it's bad.

[C]

John 3:16. It's a very popular page to bash people.

[A]

Is that what it is? That's what it is, right?

[B]

May I?

[C]

I have to return.

[B]

I never bought that he gave his only begotten son. You knew that whoever believes in him should not perish.

[D]

But Lacey's going to heaven.

[A]

Listen, church is a scam that I participate in. Jesus is like. I look at religion like the casino.

[B]

Yeah. Biggest scam.

[A]

Yeah. So you gotta just put your money on everything. You know what I mean? Like, if I go to heaven and ain't no Jesus, you know, I was always rocking with the Judaism, you know what I mean? So I believed in God and I got a little money on Jesus, you know? Got a little money in that Krishna. I think you got a little bit. You gotta put it everywhere.

[D]

You gotta spread it a little wider than investments. Buddha, Scientology.

[A]

See, I don't know about the science Guide. They too new the science. Muhammad means God. Allah. Or not Muhammad, but Allah means God. Little money, I'm in there.

[C]

Little money.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Whatever happens, I'm ready. I'll play for all sides. I got all jerseys.

[C]

I do that too, because I'm a Jew and a. Oh, yeah.

[A]

And you have a Christmas tree. You get a Christmas tree and I

[C]

get a Christmas tree. And I went to youth group church stuff.

[B]

Think all the time about how, like, a Christian would be if they, like, did all this stuff. Then they died. They went to the pearly gates and they, like, walked up to the pearly gates and it's like, Jesus just isn't there. And it's like Muhammad or, you know, whoever else. Someone. Someone. You chose wrong.

[C]

And it's like, well, that sucks.

[A]

That's why you got whole Life. Yeah. I mean, God has said something about not worshiping no other God more than him, but God on top. There's just everybody else is like the next rung. Scams C. All right, guys, so we got a listener letter, and I said I was gonna call this Roddy Rich. See, we're taking tangents, Y' all don't tweet me about these damn tangents. Okay? Thank you so much.

[D]

Oh, do people not like tangents?

[A]

Some people don't like tangents.

[D]

I'm here for the scams.

[A]

But. But the scam is. Is y'. Whatever I say, y' all go here. So this comes from Roddy Ricch. We're calling him. Hi, scam goddess. Please don't use my real name or any real names from this. I love it. I love the beginning of an email that starts like that. Anonymity. I want to warn your viewers. Oh, viewers. Yes, honey. I guess some people could be watching this about a scam I nearly fell for. But thanks to your podcast, I was on high alert for scams anyways. Oh, wonderful, boo. I'm glad, but you need to participate in my scams. Okay, I'm gonna link you after this. So attach the screenshot from the email. So he sent some screenshots as well. So it says, I'm a teacher at a free paying school, and on our last day of school, I was teaching when I received an email, seemingly from the principal. And then I read through the messages. I'll show those later. So I was slowly starting to freak out and wonder how I was going to be able to help this person. But then they had a typo and five Amazon. Then they went, one typo and five Amazon vouchers too far. Yeah, this sounds sus. So at Christmas time in schools, you'll often get people getting prizes for hard work, et cetera. And his request was to buy something for someone. And it initially sounded plausible, but as the typos and desperation slowly started to build up, I realized I was a mark. The scammer has searched our school's principal's name and found our staff email addresses, made a fake Gmail with the principal's name and emailed the staff. If only they had dedicated more line to more time to learning basic English, I could have been fooled out of $500. Oh, my God, he said. I have to say, I admire the dedic education and I believe one day they will achieve something.

[D]

Oh, that is scammer. I hope scammer's listening.

[C]

It's so ironic that it's For a school.

[B]

Yeah. Like free paying school, which I would love to be someone to understand what that means.

[A]

Yeah, Free paying.

[D]

Like public. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But you understand that they mean public

[A]

paying because, like, it's free from paying.

[B]

Oh, free from paying.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So private schools, you pay, but public schools, you don't. Free. Yeah, that's what I'm assuming. Maybe they're in a different country, but, wow. I love that they're like. I admire this person, though. They just need to work a little harder, get their Grammarly up. Get on Grammarly, bruh. You know what I mean?

[D]

I think that's cause of you, Lacey, because I think what you're doing is you're, like, shining a light on scams, but also you love a scammer. So that person's gonna be, like, giving

[C]

them some hot tips.

[D]

Upset, but also loving at the end.

[A]

Right. Also, like, thank you for targeting me. I feel honored. So he said, I wanted to share this to prevent the similar con on the congregation. So they share some emails. This one email says, so basically, he reached out to them and was like, hey, I'm in a meeting now. That's why I'm contacting you through here. Phones are not allowed to be used during the meeting. I don't know when the meeting will be rounding up. And I wanted you to help me out on something very important right away. Can you.

[C]

During the meeting.

[A]

And also the meeting will be. I guess. Do people say rounding up?

[D]

He means wrapping up.

[A]

Yeah. This language, it feels like English is not this person's first language.

[B]

I would agree. And the word meeting happened about 6. Yeah, it's the meeting. I'm in a meeting. That's why I kept on in a meeting.

[A]

You are not in a meeting.

[B]

There's no meeting happening.

[A]

There's a meeting in my bed.

[D]

Is that Roddy Rich? No, no, I know that song.

[A]

And listen, you don't need but one person to have a meeting. I know, right? I'm here meeting. You know what I mean? We're having a meeting right now.

[B]

Technically, we are meeting.

[A]

What is a meeting? So the amount I want is $100 each in five pieces. So that will make a total of $500.

[B]

This is not. This is written so weird.

[D]

I love that this person's like, thanks to your podcast, I was able to

[A]

suss out that this is a scandal. Yeah, bro, you should have known what he said.

[D]

It's written by a Martian.

[A]

$100 each in five pieces.

[D]

Human money.

[A]

Yes. Give me some human green Tinder. Legal Tinder.

[B]

It's insane.

[A]

The language is. Yeah. Very bizarre. And in return. And I'll return you the money back to you. And I will return you the money back to you. Good. Where the money's gonna go?

[B]

The principal.

[A]

It's gonna be returned to me. And also back to me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Just in case I was wondering. He said, I need physical cards which you are going to get from the store. When you get them, just scratch it, take a picture of them and send it to me with the recipe. Okay. The recipe.

[D]

Are they cooking them up?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What is it? Sir, this is not agreed.

[B]

That one sentence sounded like a ransom note. Like, you are going to go to the store and get me five cards.

[A]

Also, like, this is still a question, right? I haven't agree.

[D]

Have you guys gotten the one. The email that's like, I know your password. Have you guys gotten this one?

[C]

No.

[D]

Okay, this is chilling. I got an email, so I'm not gonna tell you guys the password, but there's a password that I've used for a while.

[A]

Tell us the password so we know it's real.

[D]

No, I'm not. I'm not. I've used for a really long time. Let's say the password is like, Sarah 20. Write it down. Yeah. So I get an email and it's like in the subject is, I know your password is sarah20. And I was like, oh, God. Like, what? That's so shady and terrible. And it's my password to, like, a

[A]

lot of things as everyone's password is.

[D]

So I click on it and it's like. It's like you've been using your password for naughty things, haven't you? We have you on your computer's camera doing naughty things. And I don't, like, watch porn on my. I don't watch. I'm not a porn person. No judgment. I'm just not. So I immediately was like, this is amazing because it's just not real.

[A]

But

[D]

it was like, we have video footage of you, like, pleasuring yourself in naughty ways on your computer because we've hacked your computer and we know that you use this password for all of your dirty websites or whatever. And it was like, if you don't send us money, we're gonna send everyone, you know, all the recordings we have of you doing these things.

[B]

But it knew your damn password.

[D]

But it knew my password. So it has hacked into something that I had logged into with my email address and that password, and they send you.

[C]

That worked for every single other person.

[D]

Every single other person that jerks off on Their computer sent them $500 or whatever they asked for. Oh, come on.

[B]

We're not watching porn on our computers anymore. We watch it on our phones. Private press.

[D]

I'm on my phone. No, but like, yeah, but it was really, like, creepy.

[A]

Also, the crazy thing about that is there's two things. So one, this is a very common scam that people will do, but like the kind of like, blackmail thing, it's been happening a lot on Tinder. We talk about it on the show here. But also what's funny to me is, like, if I were to watch porn on my computer, I'm not sitting in front of the computer, directly in front of the camera. Like, I'm a only fan star. Like, you gonna catch me, what, in the middle of with the blanket moving up and down and me just like. And my face is all like. Like, it's like.

[D]

And now like my tits are out and I'm pinching my own nipples.

[A]

And like, it's not gonna be nothing. Salacious.

[D]

My legs are up over the computer.

[A]

If anything, it's sad. Yeah, Tired, lazy.

[C]

That's what you don't want released.

[A]

You don't want the saddest family guy in the background. It's so sad.

[D]

Tired. Lacey just momentarily crosses her eyes while

[A]

she comes and goes.

[B]

I don't have any fear about that stuff anymore. Cause I'm always like, if my nudes get leaked, I'll be like, well, the sexual, like, liberation movement. I'm just like, ye doing our thing, like, whatever.

[A]

Is it sad that I'm not worried about nudes getting leaked? Not because of that. I don't take nudes because I'm trying to sell these titties monsters ball style

[D]

it a little bit.

[A]

I'm not gonna get as much as Halle, but, you know, let me get a little something for a titties.

[D]

You'll get a thousand. Is that gonna be all of us? Wow, that's gonna be a thousand right now. Yes.

[A]

That's low, Laura. That's too low. I want more than that. But yeah, I'm not worried.

[D]

No, you're smart. You save em. You save them for the cash.

[A]

But it's not for a moral thing. It's not. Cause I'm like, oh, if you take a nude, that's like your temple. No, it's like, I'm trying to sell these titties, trying to get money for this.

[C]

I'll pay you $2,000 right now.

[D]

Who is that guy?

[A]

Who is that guy?

[C]

How did he get in here?

[A]

Who is that guy? And how did he get in here?

[B]

Take your ticket, sir.

[A]

Especially if you ask like that. Patty. So back to this scam. So this language is completely insane, Roddy. So that should have been definitely your first tip, but I'm glad you wisened up. So he said, lip. So he said, scratch away the recipe. So this is something that's been happening online where people say, like, if you see the advertisements online to be an online shopper or from home, be very cautious, because they're normally a scam. Although online, like. Because, like, people will be, like, online secret shoppers. That's not a real job. People have, like, internal auditing for that. Now there are secret shoppers that go to restaurants and go to places in person and have little cue cards and write people up, and they work for corporations. However, this isn't the same thing, but those same scammers were doing this, where they would be like, hey, go buy this Walmart gift card. You're going to secret shop at Walmart. But when you buy the gift card, scratch off the bag so that I can get the serial number and take a picture of it, and then I can use the gift card online, steal all the money out of it, and then your gift card's worthless. So that's what this person was trying to get this teacher to do.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

I didn't understand, but they were so assertive.

[C]

They're like, you're gonna go.

[B]

Yeah, it sounds like a ransom.

[A]

You're gonna go to the store.

[B]

Step one, you're gonna go to the store. You're gonna buy this.

[C]

People get there, and they're like, oh, I'm on a mission. Are they excited? I don't get it.

[A]

Okay, so he says, send him the. But he calls it the recipe, which is fascinating.

[C]

It's so good.

[A]

It's a barcode and a number, a serial number. He said the recipe. Maybe he thought he was being tricky there. He was like, maybe if I don't say barcode, he won't know. I call it the recipe.

[D]

I would have had to have written him back and been like, I want to help you, but I don't know what you're trying to do.

[A]

You would have needed more clarification.

[D]

I can't help you unless I know what this recipe is.

[A]

Let me know if you can help me with that amount right away. Plus, I will get the cards from you after the meeting. Remember, he wasn't a meeting.

[B]

Ding, ding, ding.

[A]

But I need the pictures first as an email attachment. Okay, so he's pretending to be this Person's boss. Right? Cause he hacked. He hacked in, found out the principal's name, and then made a separate Gmail account that isn't the school's account. And then his meeting excuse was because, why wouldn't you email me from your principal at whatever school, district, dot com. He's like, I'm in a meeting right now. I can't use my computer, so I have to email you from my phone. Which don't make no sense either.

[B]

And this gift is so, like, there's time sensitive. I need to send it right now.

[A]

That's important for sure.

[D]

Imagine the other people in that meeting, they're like, can you get off your phone also? Yeah.

[A]

You could have just got on your computer if you was gonna be typing this email on your phone.

[D]

No way.

[B]

Lacy says that's important for scams.

[A]

It's really got me time sensitivity. So, guys, watch out if anybody's sending you anything. Here's the number one warning for a scam. If somebody's requesting money from you, that's already sus.

[C]

Right.

[A]

The other thing is if they're giving you lots of excuses when you haven't asked any questions. Anytime somebody gives you an answer to a question you haven't asked up front, something is off.

[D]

Guys do that. When you date guys, they do that. They're like, I'm the kind of guy who does all these great things.

[B]

And you're like, you know what that sounds like? Yeah.

[D]

I didn't ask you.

[A]

I once sussed out, I think. I don't know if I've mentioned on this podcast. I think I have, but, like, I sussed out that a guy had, like, really, really bad credit and was living with a family and, like, was super broke, but was driving a Mercedes. And I literally just sussed it out from just asking, like, lots of little tiny questions that I would piece together to another question that would segue. I was like, oh, that's a really nice car. I've been thinking about getting a new car. Are the payments crazy? And he was like, yeah, they're a little high. I was like, oh, is your credit back? And he was like, oh, you know, I had, like, a payday loan. I was like, oh, yeah, those are really tanky.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, oh, so where

[B]

are you living right now?

[A]

Like, I just, like, pieced it all together to. This man was probably gonna try to ruin my credit and live within me immediately. You know, Homosexuals.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Some people get into relationships because they need a place to live. So it felt like he was Gonna show me the car and then be like, oh, can I stay tonight? And, you know, probably have some really bomb dick. And then next thing I know, I am living with somebody, and you're gonna.

[D]

Which, like, isn't bad. If the dick is bomb, I know.

[B]

If the dick is bomb, I don't know.

[A]

I don't know if bomb dick's worth enough to just be living in my house.

[B]

You'. I have my. I have my porn on my computer underneath and my family guy in the background. I don't need the bomb dick. I'd rather have my money and my porn.

[A]

I got everything I need. A blanket. A computer and family guy. The blanket.

[D]

Always jerking off under the blanket. Lacey, of course I'm never sleeping at your house, girl.

[A]

I'm like, you want a blanket? No, thank you. I would never give you my jerk it blanket.

[D]

Your squirt blank.

[A]

Robbery and fraud. All right, guys. And we're back. And it's time for my favorite segment, Historic Hoodwinks. This is where I will regale the Florida girls with a very infamous con, and we'll get their opinions on this one. This one is very near and dear to my heart. It is from Texas.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yes. My man's name is Sandy Jenkins.

[B]

Sounds like a scam already.

[A]

Yes, and very Texas Y, which I truly adore. So Sandy is gonna run a con at a bakery, honey. And it sounds basic, but it gets very crazy. So Sandy moves to Corsicana, right?

[B]

Ooh, Corsicana.

[C]

Mm.

[B]

I know Corsicana.

[A]

Wait, have you been watching cheer?

[B]

Cause everyone's been watching cheer. What up, Corsicana?

[A]

And there's gonna be some cheer ties in here for the time.

[B]

Oh, there's a big bakery in Corsicana,

[A]

and this is the one. The fruitcake. This is the one.

[B]

Roll with the fruitcake.

[A]

Okay. Yes. So. So Sandy starts working at this bakery, and he works for Bob's dad. His name is Bill McNult. So Bill McNult has been in the bakery business, honey, collecting coins for a while. Like, this Bakery opened in 1946. They bought it from this German guy, and then they realized that fruitcakes are very special, and this is why. So it has more salts in it than the average cake, and that salt acts as a natural preservative, so fruitcakes practically never go bad.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

What other food on earth can you, like, say that about, right?

[D]

Twinkies?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Yum.

[B]

Salt up in there.

[A]

So they transformed the original recipe, which they purchased from the German guy who owned the bakery in 1946, into this glossy ring that was so strikingly complex that soon everybody in the world wanted one. Yes. So the fruitcake shelf life meant that the bakery could ship anywhere. Right. And McWee, who is the other business partner. So there's McNulty, or not McNulty, but McNulty and McWee.

[B]

There's some ice cream. McElwee.

[A]

They're very Irish. McElwee and McNult, sure. Bill McNult. And God, these names. So they focused on pretty much turning this into a fruitcake mail ordering business. And Bill, who took over the company for his father in 1967, was a mail order pioneer, investing in computerized systems that would allow him to reach people in 196 countries. So this cake is all over the world. Fruit caking all over the world. Okay. So they even had like high profile clients that they sent them to, like Frank Sinatra, the Queen of Spain, even the president of the Republic of Malawi. I don't know who that is, but apparently they popping. So Sandy joins their business after they decided to expand the Collins Street Bakery, opening storefronts in Waco, Lindale and Greenville. And this is a very important detail because they're expanding around the time. Yeah, they're franchising a little bit. And this is also around the time that Sandy decides that he's going to work for this bakery. And Sandy is like very regular Degla schmegular. They talk about him in the article. He's like very basic. Apparently his wife is very fun and outgoing. It's a small town in Corsicana, so everybody talks and we'll get to that. But he's like a boring guy who wears boring clothes and he's very quiet and everybody just that he was just a dry little basic, you know, Sandy was basic.

[C]

So he needs something.

[A]

He needs something scammer. Right. Because you don't notice this guy.

[C]

Right.

[A]

He's just like, like, yeah, yeah. And. And that helps if you're a scammer with a forgettable face. And if you don't have a forgettable face, you at least need to have a forgettable name. Sandy. Not that forgettable of a name, but his. His aura. Forgettable.

[B]

Forgettable, got it.

[A]

Yes. So Sandy joined this bakery. He performed well. He helped the bakery transition from manual accounting system to a computerized one. And by 2000, he had been promoted to corporate controller. So now he's overseeing the accounting. Right, Right. So Scott, his supervisor was a fellow member of the First Baptist Church. Honey. Who enjoyed Sandy's company and was pleased with the job that Sandy was doing. In Jesus name.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Sandy was never late on running the payroll. He was always kept a taxes current. Uncle Sam was not snooping around. The specific task that you gave him, he got done quickly and timely. That's what Scott said. So he was very good at his job.

[C]

Right. To do that, you have to keep

[A]

it, keep it tight.

[C]

Keep it tight.

[A]

So by most accountants, like he did okay for himself, like the job. They were raising a daughter. They would contribute to the community, they would make meals for the church. But they weren't considered a part of Corsicana society. Cassasati.

[B]

They were kind of like, what's that?

[A]

Recluse or. Yeah, so like the real, real Corsicana is old families on it with old coins. Of course, but of course, course. So they're not a part of this world. Right. Kathy was wearing flip flops in the win. Yeah, they was just bare basic. And there was a course, a can of Contra club that is very old and I'm assuming very white. And you could only join when a couple left. So I'm assuming that people probably stayed until they like, died.

[B]

Sure. No space for Sandy and his wife.

[A]

So Sandy probably at the funerals, like, hey,

[D]

I can get your spirit.

[A]

So they dead, Right. So then we can confirm that. Cause we here they did the box right there. So can I get that two spots open? How many spots open? So basically when Sandy started being like the corporate controller and got like a higher position, he decided that he wanted to move to an office. They allowed him to move into an office. And because before he was kind of on the periphery of this workspace that was just like a bunch of little cubicles in an office. Right. So then they gave Sandy an upgrade when he was the controller and now his office. He got a fake lithogram of a Picasso in the office. He spent a thousand dollars of the bakery's money on an antique wooden desk.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So this is when I knew my boy Sandy was a scammer. Because you were basic.

[B]

He likes fine things.

[A]

Yeah. You like nice shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bought him a thousand dollar desk on corporate dime.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And nobody said anything. Like, nobody came by your office. Like, whoa, Sandy, that's a nice desk there. Where you get that? Is that in the back? Can I get one from the store?

[B]

Like, who Sandy? There's nothing to suspect about. They're like, they're like a regular old.

[D]

I've never noticed.

[A]

So as I've said before, this town is very clicky. Like, clicky. And someone who reported, who like was interviewed about this scam, said that baby if you get a hangnail, we know about it before dark. That's what it is. And gossiping here.

[D]

Oh my God.

[B]

She just fully. I'm assuming it was a woman because full impression she fully was like, we, we suck.

[A]

We are the worst people in the world.

[D]

That's so funny. Do not call yourself mean. I'm super mean.

[A]

Surely I course I can love it

[B]

home with meaties and fruitcakes.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I love it. I like stand in your truth. Stand in your truth. We are mean. Mean and gossipy and small.

[D]

Mean as the day is long.

[A]

Honey, I'm obsessed. Cause this is where some women said that they had noticed that K was never wearing name brand sandals and she wore them yellow box flip flops. Damn. They were box flip flops.

[B]

What does that mean?

[A]

So you know when they had a little chunk on? You know the flip flop?

[C]

The chunkies.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, the flip flop. That really describes Britney Spears. Britney Spears walking barefoot into gas station. Bad ops.

[C]

Yes. Yeah, Chunkies got us.

[A]

Which I love you, Brittany. That's no shade.

[D]

No, no.

[A]

That's just pure imagery, sis. Free Britney. So they said she never even had a tummy tuck or a boob job or new clothes. Lachey she had on those maw Maw clothes.

[B]

She's a maw maw.

[A]

What are Maw Maw clothes?

[B]

Oh, I know what it is. It's a moomoo.

[C]

Moomoo.

[A]

That's what I was thinking.

[B]

Box flip flops. You know what else? I bet she didn't go to the salon and get those acrylics with the French tip.

[A]

Yeah, she ain't having a tip. They do like that in Corsican. They like that in all parts of Texas. My sister is required to have French tip nails for drill team.

[B]

Get that.

[D]

What for school.

[A]

That's the drill team dressing cheer too.

[B]

The girls on cheer had those French

[A]

tips and they always square and real wide. Oh so square.

[D]

I used to love French chips. I used to do my own French tips.

[A]

I still do. This is my rendition of a French tip right now.

[D]

It's very cute.

[A]

I love it. So here's the scam. So Sandy considered himself a moral person. This is the person who bought a thousand dollar desk on the company down. But somehow he sat at his desk in December one day in 2004 and he was tempted to do something wrong. He felt he was working the equivalent of three jobs at the bakery. And he was really only compensated for one. How long was he supposed to wait before he could achieve achieve his dreams? What about Sandy?

[B]

Is this from his autobiography?

[D]

It's from his autobiography. What About Sandy? By Sandy Jenkins.

[A]

What about Sandy? So he decided to dip into the bakery's petty cash. It wasn't much money in the grand scheme of things, but it kept him on edge, gave him a high. Every time someone stepped into his office, he braced himself for the words, sandy, do you know what happened with this money? But no one ever asked. And soon, the petty cash. Guess it wasn't enough.

[B]

Never is.

[A]

A few weeks later, on a whim, he drove up to the Dallas dealership and bought a gold Lexus sedan with leather interior.

[D]

Wait, how do you jump so heavily from petty cash on petty cash?

[B]

You guys. He went into the Lexus dealership with a. With an envelope full of cash. Like, from the petty cash. Sandy was like my down payment, please.

[A]

Oh, my God, Sandy. You went from getting a Snickers ball and a monster energy drink on the. On the company dive to Alexis. So he. It wasn't a huge leap. He says he traded in his old car as a down payment. So he. But he still couldn't afford the payments for this Lexus. But he had a plan. He had been thinking about those bank spaces on the checkbook software.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah. So give me a picture of Sandy right here. The one in the blue with the cup.

[D]

I love that. Will Ferrell's also.

[B]

Is that his wife? Is that his wife?

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[D]

It's a good.

[C]

It's been a project of his for a while.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There we go. Okay, so this is Sandy.

[C]

I love that everything is. Ex fruitcake executive.

[A]

And this is his wife. This is his wife, K. She's gonna come into the mix. So Sandy here, he's wearing designer. Honey, don't be fooled by this basic polo. And also, they're on a PJ.

[B]

They're on a jet. They're on a PJ.

[A]

That's a PJ. A private jet, which I call PJs now because I'm willing myself into that lifestyle.

[D]

I think you have to be. You have to fly one before you can call it a pj.

[A]

I don't know. I think you gotta speak it into existence. The PJ. PJ's on the PJ.

[B]

Drag her.

[A]

PJ's on the PJ.

[C]

Is this him, too? Sticky fingers in another PJ right here.

[A]

Yes, they. So January 25th, when the credit card payment was. So basically, before I get ahead of myself, he realizes that in the accounting spaces, they have, like, these bank spaces in the checkbook software that hadn't been used. So January 25, when his credit card payment was due, which is what he put the Lexus on, he typed a $20,000 check made payable to City Card. The software automatically signed the check. Bob McNutt. Now, Bob is one of the owners, right? The software that he has allows him to print out because he does payroll, right? And Bob signs all the check, but not physically.

[B]

You know, it's that stamp signature.

[A]

It's that stamp signature. My mom always said, don't be too rich to sign your own checks. Yeah, yeah. So he realized he could use the software to forage the signature so that he could pay off his City card. And this is what he started to do. So to cover his tracks, he typed a check the next day payable to a legitimate bakery vendor for the same amount. But then he never mailed that check. Sandy says he doesn't remember where he paid off his new Lexus or the Citi card. It starts to become a blur.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

So one day, Sandy was sure that nobody had noticed the fraudulent check, so he tried it again and again and again.

[B]

I knew it was coming.

[A]

And we're doing it again. Okay. And each time, Sandy would repeat the same scheme with the fraudulent check and then one legitimate check that he never mailed. That way, if the fraudulent check goes through, he could be like, oh, no, it's supposed to be this one. What happened?

[D]

How did I get into my Citibank?

[A]

That's crazy. Who put down my routing number and my account number on here?

[C]

And it's like the movie Blank Check.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

He just watched it and was like, I'm gonna use my fruitcake base for this.

[A]

And he wrote a blank check. So before long, my guy Sandy was spending $98,000 a month on his credit card and paying it off with stolen money. They remodeled their kitchen. They started throwing fancy dinner parties and champagne brunches. His wife traded in her flip flops for louper T. Yes.

[D]

Red bottoms.

[B]

Oh, no one's making the money.

[C]

They gotta her anymore. Do they get at work.

[A]

Oh, yeah, they go get into the country.

[C]

Okay, go, go, go.

[A]

At work, Sandy told people who were admiring his fine clothes that he bought his outfits at Walmart. Though nothing could have been further from the truth. He was actually wearing $600 shirts from Armani and Hermes.

[D]

He's wearing that stuff to work.

[A]

Sandy.

[B]

Sandy. Walmart has Armani now, actually. So that checks out.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

He's like, yeah, this is Armani Exchange Exchange. This is in my exchange rate. Exchange Exchange. He's. He said he always loved shoes. So soon his closets were overflowing with Ferragamo and Gucci. And in 2006, he bought five Rolexes for $52,000. Oh, wow. Which was roughly his annual salary.

[B]

Absolutely not.

[A]

On a trip to Santa Fe, he bought a house for $658,000 on his credit card. Are you. Can you put a house on a credit card?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Apparently you can if you're Sandy Jenkins.

[A]

Maybe he started writing some of these checks to himself in cash. Cause I had never been to some. I had never heard of. Of it.

[D]

But this fruitcake company must have been raking money.

[A]

It's a big deal.

[C]

A lot of glazed holes, you heard earlier.

[B]

196 countries and they last forever. They don't ever go bad.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

So they're mailing these out like hotcakes. Also. They just expanded their business like fruitcake.

[B]

They've got franchises.

[A]

Yes. Claps for that. So they're doing. They're mailing these out like fruitcakes. And remember, at the beginning of this, they had just expanded to three locations.

[B]

Three locations.

[A]

So when you're expanding, you lose a little bit of money. Right. These are brick and mortar stores. So they're expecting to take a little bit of loss. So he also is coming in a perfect time to start robbing them blind because they don't necessarily can't account. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my.

[A]

So the years after writing his fraudulent check, Sandy took 43 private flights at a cost of half a million dollars.

[D]

Where's he going? Is he just vacationing? Is he like going for work?

[A]

So he. So his friends would see him on a pj? Cause, you know, he was on here looking at him flexing with his wife.

[B]

Stunting.

[C]

Like my dad on that PJ guy.

[A]

Yes. He was up here. Like it. It's funny, cuz they still look very corny, but they're like in nice clothes. But they're like a very unsuspecting corny couple.

[D]

Totally.

[A]

So he was telling people that this was his cousin's private jet and that his cousin was lending it to him.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

He had no cousin. There was no cousin to be.

[B]

It's never our cousin.

[C]

Can I ask real quick? Did the wife. Was she in on this? Like, I'm always interested to know.

[D]

Stressful to be the wife of that.

[C]

She's like, why am I getting all this money?

[A]

I think it's why are we throwing these piss?

[B]

Drug money.

[A]

So remember that K is a scammer too. Only because, like, remember she has that outgoing Personality that people knew about. She was the life of the party. She was the bubbly one. In the beginning, when he first bought that Alexis with the petty cash, he told her that he had just traded in and that it was a gift from the company he was working for.

[D]

He's scamming his own life.

[A]

Yeah, he started scamming her, but she gonna get hit.

[C]

He's just drunk on that adrenaline of, like, her not bringing it up at work.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? And it's almost like he was attention to himself because, like, why are you showing up to work, like in mink coats and Gucci and Ferragamo and then you like, oh, no, no, no. This is just some from the thrift store. Y' all ever been to Corsicana Thrift?

[D]

No. Yeah. Like, why are you Gucci?

[A]

They got a 2020 Gucci collection.

[D]

The whole point of buying name brand is so other people will be like, wow, you're a somebody, right? Like, that's why you do it. You spend the money so people.

[A]

It's usually made pretty well.

[D]

The quality is better. Hey, I have a flex. Yeah, it's a flex. It's a flex. And so you're gonna like, buy. It's like buying like a Louis Vuitton bag and then like covering the brand and being like, no one can know. Like, you're defeating the purpose.

[A]

But he knows and seen that. He said he's thousand dollar debt. Just dick hard.

[B]

His dick is hard 100% of the time. He's a boner.

[C]

Dick hard.

[D]

Just pressing into his Armani pants all day.

[B]

Pants get me off.

[A]

So to your point, Patty, she didn't know because of the Mercedes or because of the Lexus. But Sandy Gates, Eric K. Gets. She gets hit pretty quickly. So you might be thinking, are there suspicions, right? Like, surely people had to know that Santa could be making that much money at the bakery. All of a sudden, poof, they had coins. Like, they were getting Lexuses, BMWs, Mercedes Benzes, and they were replacing them at a dizzying pace. And he was telling people, I'm a car trader. I get new cars, but I'm able to flip them. Which makes absolutely no sense. Because a nuke, once you drive a car off the lot, it depreciates immediately.

[B]

Immediately he's like, I do this thing, I flip cars.

[C]

All right?

[A]

I buy brand new electric cars.

[D]

I fix them up.

[B]

Fix them up.

[D]

It's a brand new car.

[B]

Why are you fixing what are you

[A]

fixing it up in?

[D]

Undercar lights?

[B]

I give it under car lights.

[A]

Yes. A Florida girls reference finally under car lights.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. This makes no sense. His wife, K, quits her job. So this is how we know when K is really getting.

[B]

I'm good.

[A]

She's like, I'm good on employment I no longer need. And when a friend asked K. About a diamond ring that she was wearing that was worth a quarter of a million dollars, she responded that it was her engagement ring. But the friend was like, that's crazy, because did you have that engagement ring when you was catering my daughter's wedding? Oh, Shade, Shade.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Her friend was like, sis, when you was making hot wings for my family,

[D]

when you were picking up my family's dirty napkins in the church cafetorium, you

[A]

ain't had no 250k rings.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Shady. Very shady. Another neighbor said, I'm looking at cars that are like 100,000, $200,000. And I'm thinking, damn, he must have won the lottery. Robbery was the furthest thing from anybody's mind.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Gosh.

[A]

So now we're gonna see how he gets caught.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Please.

[A]

I can't wait. So the owners of the bakery went year after year wondering why the bakery wasn't making no coins. They couldn't figure it out. Was the company expanding to co? People seem to love the new pecan cakes and the twist on the fruitcake that is bite sized. They say we even making them smaller

[B]

should be making more on this.

[A]

He said, it doesn't make sense. The owners would tell each other, we must be doing something wrong. They finished the fiscal year and they'd be like, it slipped through our hands again.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And some years they could blame the economy like anybody else. And other years, they had no excuse. So they started examining their expenses. The labor, the price of ingredients, even inventorying the ingredients. So now they are counting for every piece of salt and a grain of sugar.

[B]

You know, there's a lot of salt in those fruitcakes. A lot.

[A]

They were like, is it the salt that's killing us?

[B]

Should we sacrifice the fact that this thing will last for 20 years? Put less salt in it.

[D]

Is Sandy like, yeah, we gotta figure this out. Is Sandy, like a part of us heading back?

[B]

That's.

[C]

So he was probably like, you guys, we got it. We got it.

[D]

And he definitely would wear the necklaces and rings. And how do we.

[A]

How to find dripping and diamond 7 Cartier bracelets.

[D]

Where's the money going?

[A]

Where is it going with a wristful of Cartier? I don't know.

[B]

It's so weird.

[A]

Y' all check the Cherries.

[D]

Check.

[A]

Somebody in here eating the damn cherries. That's where it's going. So they do this for years. Couldn't figure out what's going on years. Cause Sandy timed the checks well. He knew when the bakery would stock up on ingredients. He knew when they were spending more on postage because they started advertising more. Cause they're like, maybe we just need to get our marketing budget up. So they had this little advertising called Cryer Creek Kitchens, which was, like a smaller little company that they would just do a little advertising with or whatever. And Darlene ran Cryer Creek Kitchens.

[B]

Oh, I know. Darlene did run it, didn't she?

[A]

So they said, darlene, we gonna have to cut down on Cryer Creek Kitchens. Cause we spending way too much money. And she was like, what are y' all talking about? I ain't spending that much money. I said, Darlene, you spending $23,000 here on this here postage. Uh.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

And she said, what?

[D]

That's crazy.

[A]

I ain't Never spent no $23,000 on no damn stuff. And the paperwork showed that she had.

[C]

Uh.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

So Sandy offered to look and do it.

[D]

No, I'll look into it.

[B]

Dripping and dying.

[D]

Detective Sandy wearing designer.

[C]

I'll figure it out.

[A]

I'll figure it out. And of course, when he reported back, everything seemed to be in order.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

And they're like, yep, we're not worried about this anymore. Moving on.

[A]

They let it go. Like, y' all don't know how much stamps cost. This is. See, this is a rich people problem. Y' all been rich for too long. If y' all don't know how much a stamp costs.

[D]

I know when five. Five dollars is missing from my wallet. I'm like, five dollars is missing, babe. Like, where did it go?

[A]

She immediately targets her husband.

[D]

I target my husband immediately. Jared, where's my $5?

[A]

Where's my $5? Dear God. I saw Jared and Laura arguing in the corner.

[D]

It was about $5. It's always about $5.

[A]

Always about $5. So they just didn't know what post is caught on? Yeah, they just let it go. Then Sandy turns up. You would think, like, they're starting to audit, right? They're starting to count the cherries.

[B]

Cherries and the chill.

[A]

This is where you chill, chill. Sandy turned it up. He had stepped out the bed.

[B]

Now he's drooling with his power.

[A]

He's like, I can do anything. Turn my scam on kids.

[D]

Does Sandy and K have kids?

[A]

One daughter, but she's like, college age.

[D]

But I want. I hope she's, like, living, like.

[A]

Right. I hope she was definitely getting.

[D]

Living large.

[A]

She was at whatever Texas school flexing. She had all the. Vera Bradley honey. Yeah, Vera Bradley doing it on the girl.

[C]

Stripping and bearing.

[D]

Dooney and Bourke.

[A]

Right, Coach, Coach, you could never.

[C]

Long champ.

[A]

Yep. She had the long champ.

[D]

Long champ.

[A]

Ugg boot toe was always in an Ugg boot. And a Lululemon legging.

[D]

You'll never catch my toes out of an Ugg boot.

[B]

Ugg boot slippers. Ugg boot boots.

[A]

Ugg boot socks, honey. Down to the socks. That's what I'm talking about. So he went hog wild with spending is what they said. So he bought a $7,000 cell phone.

[D]

Okay, wait, the phone.

[B]

This brings us back to Apple.

[D]

Ah, the scam.

[A]

Apple. Are y' all $7,000?

[B]

$200, bruh.

[A]

He had a $40,000 horsehair mattress. I don't even know what a horsehair mattress is.

[B]

Keeps out 3.

[C]

Does it have mice?

[A]

It keeps out mic.

[C]

But horsehair seems like it would attract mites.

[A]

Right?

[B]

They're like.

[A]

He had a $50,000 Steinway.

[D]

Oh, piano.

[B]

Yes. Does he play?

[A]

Which he does play.

[C]

Okay. So talented.

[A]

And he even inquired about investing in a funeral home, which. That's big business. People always dying. That's what you gotta do. Now we're gonna run out of clients.

[D]

That's smart.

[A]

So he eventually indulged in the hobby of the tr. Truly wealthy. Philanthropy. And you know where he bought a table? The Navarro College fundraiser. Oh, Cheer.

[B]

Cheer Navarro.

[A]

So if you watching Cheer Navarro on Netflix, honey, Sandy bought at least a couple of them uniforms. Oh, for sure. One or two of them mats.

[D]

I hope he did more than that stolen ass money.

[B]

Oh, now I'm now on the side. He's helping the cheerleader.

[A]

He helps the cheerleader.

[D]

I've been on. Weirdly, I've been on K's side since moment one. The moment you were like, she got made fun of for being poor. I'm like, I'm on her side. I want her to take down this whole.

[C]

I know.

[A]

And she did. For a moment. So here's where the issue comes into play. The company hires a new accountant. Oh, why?

[D]

They fired him?

[A]

No. Now, this is somebody under my man Sandy. Okay, but this is fresh eyes.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

And you know what? Accounting is a hater profession. Your whole job just crunching little numbers and being petty.

[C]

Yeah. You know what I mean.

[A]

So they get horned for something you

[B]

get that penny for.

[A]

Yes, right. Exactly. Every penny must be. Be Accounted for, serial number and all. So he's a new hiring accountant, got fresh eyes. And he started to look at things and he's saying H. And he's scratching his chin.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

He's rubbing his temples.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Things aren't adding up, Sandy.

[D]

So I can't believe it took him longer than 14 minutes. Right? It took him longer than 14 minutes to figure this out. He's not a good accountant.

[A]

He finds a check made out to capital one. And the accountant, who is a woman, says that she knew the bank or the bakery, did not have any accounts or credit cards with a capital one, not ner.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So she pulls up to Sandy's office, sits down at his thousand dollar desk, and she says, sandy, there's a discrepancy with this check. Can you help me understand this?

[D]

Sandy's getting like a six hand massage.

[B]

His dick is still hard to under the desk.

[A]

Can I help you?

[C]

Can I help you? There's so many people under his desk just working.

[A]

Sandy tries to remain calm. He's like, I'll fix it. He told her, hoping his panic wasn't showing. But, honey, the panic was showing. And my girl, the accountant, she knew, she sniffed it. Ms. Symmetric. This piqued her interest. That's her last name, Symmetric, which sounds like an account. Like that means you were born to account. You came out the womb and you were like, how much did this birth cost?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I need some metrics on the.

[A]

I need some metrics on this bird.

[B]

Some metrics, sorry.

[A]

So she didn't want to flag the check just yet because Scott and the other owner spent a lot of time with the Jenkins. You know what I mean? That's. They homies now.

[B]

They're friends.

[A]

Yeah. So she was like, not trying to blow up the spot. And she's new to the job. She just got there, so she ain't trying to.

[C]

She's in a tough spot. Yeah.

[A]

Yes, exactly. And she's a woman. And you know, when you a woman, you got to walk a tight line.

[D]

You got to keep your mouth shut. But keep your mouth shut when you're a woman.

[A]

So you gotta keep it shut.

[D]

Shut it up.

[A]

So she goes back and she quickly finds 11 discrepancies around $400,000.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Quickly, quickly. 14 minutes later.

[A]

14 minutes later.

[B]

So fast.

[A]

She clicked on one link and was

[D]

like, oh, you're being robbed.

[A]

Discrepancies.

[D]

Yeah. She's like, galore, you're being very robbed.

[A]

Robbery fraud. She's just scrolling like robbery, fraud, chicane.

[B]

She's Going through the inventory. She's like, cherries, sugar, salt, robbery, fraud.

[D]

Oh, I found it.

[A]

I found it.

[B]

Oh, postage fraud. Yeah.

[A]

So.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Then she sends an email and she says, it looks like Sandy Jenkins has been embezzling money.

[D]

Oh, she sent it, an email.

[C]

I love it. I love that.

[D]

She's like, brave. She's not that brave.

[A]

No urgency.

[B]

She subjects like, when you get a chance.

[D]

Yeah, I'm in a meeting right now and I have to send this.

[A]

She's like, hey, guys, comma, hope you had a great weekend.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

It looks like Sandy hasn't been messing with money. Bob responds to the email and he says, well, that explains a lot.

[C]

Poor.

[B]

He's like, we've been losing money since Sandy came into this business.

[A]

And he's constantly goochin. We pay him $50,000 a year. So Sandy arrives at work and Scott asks him to come into the executive's office and shows him copies of the voided checks. And he says, tell us what these are. And Sandy pretended for a moment that he had done nothing wrong. He looks over the checks, he shrugs and says, well, I don't know. Which truly fueled Scott's anger, prompting him to ask Sandy pointedly, did you write these checks? And Sandy says, I only write checks for the bank bakery.

[C]

Okay, Is he lying?

[A]

Technically.

[D]

So what happens? Does he get their money?

[B]

I'm half expecting the guy to go, okay, Sandy, we trust you. Go ahead. I know it must be a cherry.

[A]

Must be cherries, right? Twenty years later, when Sandy dies.

[C]

No.

[B]

Do you mind flipping my car?

[A]

They hear you do car flips. So they fire Sandy. And Sandy says that he was relieved to get fired cause he just wanted to get out of there. The thing. Tensions was high. Oh, my God.

[C]

He's blaming the work environment was so stressful conditions.

[A]

So Sandy has stolen from the bakery an amount totaling $114,000 in cash and $16,649,786.91 in jacks.

[D]

How and over how long have you.

[C]

How many fruitcakes?

[D]

That's $16 million. I'm floored. Mini fruitcakes.

[A]

I'm so proud of Sandy. 16 mil, bruh. If you had just stolen maybe like 2 mil, you probably would have been Gucci. I know you stole all they profits.

[B]

Drunk.

[D]

With him, it got to the point where the company was like, we are no longer making profits. And he was like, I'm still going to keep stealing.

[A]

He's like, damn, we ain't making.

[B]

I'm just looking up real quick how much of the cake cost from this place.

[C]

It's got to be like $10.

[D]

Amazing.

[A]

So now was his time to move. He raced home, grabbed two grocery bags from the kitchen and ran from room to room, tossing handfuls of valuables inside. Watches, jewelry, gold bars. He's a cartoon.

[B]

Gold bar.

[D]

He's a cartoon duck. Oh my God.

[A]

Making sure to check the air vents where he had stashed some of the jewels. Then he and Kay got in one of their cars and they drove to Austin where their daughter was living and stored the bags in safe before taking off to Santa Fe to regroup. What do criminals do? Where do they hide their money? Should he bury it somewhere? Put it in an offshore account around the time. This time the FBI has been tipped off. I hope they emailed the FBI and

[B]

were like, hey, when you get a chance.

[A]

When you get a chance. We have been embezzled from.

[D]

People are so casual, so Southern casual too casual.

[A]

About 16 mil.

[D]

I've been robbed for $16 million. Take your time whenever you get.

[A]

Also, as gunhappy as Texans are, I cannot believe that this just ended. All right, we're going to need you to clean out your desk. Sandy, no, it just fired. Leave your badge and your keys.

[D]

We will give you two weeks notice. Cuz we're not monsters and severance.

[A]

But severance. Sandy files for unemployment.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

He gets it. Jesus. So the FBI team was searching the house in Corsicana and noticed that they were on the move to Austin. So they have all these bags, right? Of gold and jewelry. Gold bars and jewelry. And they put them. He drives down to Lady Bird Lake, the edge of downtown. And with bag in hand, he walks to a secluded bend, hoping he wouldn't be interrupted by some stroller pushing, power walking, busy body. And he begins scattering treasures behind trees, bushes and rocks. One might say he hit him like eggs at Easter. Wow.

[C]

This is like Madman, Madman world.

[A]

It made him cringe to think about a dog peeing on his $25,000 Pataic Philippy Aquanaut watch.

[D]

Oh my God.

[A]

Oh my God.

[D]

This man is insane.

[A]

His $22,000 Ulyses Nardin watch or any of the other watches or gold bars he had grabbed on his way out the door. When he ran out of hiding places, he tossed the rest in the lake.

[D]

Oh my God.

[B]

Now he's unhinged. Now he's throwing money away.

[C]

I'm going to go.

[A]

You couldn't dig a hole in your yard or something? You got. You threw it everything in the lake.

[D]

I know. I wonder if it's still in the lake.

[A]

We need to go dive. I'm so mad at you.

[D]

We all go diving this weekend.

[B]

He worked so hard for that money, and honestly, he just threw it in a lake.

[A]

He stole so hard for that money.

[C]

Panicked.

[A]

So not long after this, the authority officers for an officer from the University of Texas stumbled upon a quarter million dollars in jewelry and gold bars.

[B]

The gold bars are getting me every day.

[A]

I know, it's very funny. It's very cartoonish, as Laura said. So in the weeks that followed, they still haven't been charged yet. So Sandy on August 12, was indicted by the FBI on accounts of mail fraud, money laundering, and other related offenses he perpetrated along the way. In the same weeks that followed, Kay was telling people around town that she knew nothing about Sandy's scheme. And she was as surprised as anybody else. She said, I can't. I can just live my life and let him take the rap.

[D]

Oh, my God. So she. So she was expecting them to believe that she thought he was living this lifestyle with their salary. Yes, that she's like, I had no idea. I thought he got a huge raise.

[A]

I thought he had a raise of $16 million. From 50,000. From 50,000.

[B]

Paid him in gold bars.

[A]

It was weird. I was like, okay. So she said she didn't realize that her reputation had lost its sheen. And one day in March 2014. So now we're in 2014 when all of this is falling apart. Right. When she was indicted on similar charges to Sandy, she had called a few members of cotillion in tears, asking if they would be okay with her attending an upcoming book club event.

[D]

Oh, my God, these poor people.

[A]

Hey, y', all, it's me. Catching. Hey, we can I come down to the book club event this week? Oh, my God. We're reading Fifty Shades, right? I read all of it.

[D]

No, but these people, they're self proclaimed

[B]

and they're like, no. So they're like, you might have money now, you might have got rid of those square flops, but you're not welcome here.

[C]

You know that. That's fruit cake cash.

[A]

Fruit cake cash, yes. So this all falls apart. She ends up getting five years of probation. And Sandy, my boy, he gets 10 years of jail.

[B]

Okay, Is he in there now?

[A]

So this was in 2014.

[C]

So four more years.

[A]

But also like, I never like how rich people crimes always equate to the same as, like, murder.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Like, also in Texas, Amber Geiger. I say this all the time. Went down for 10 years for shooting somebody in The.

[B]

Their own home.

[D]

That's crazy.

[A]

And this man got 10 years for robbing a bakery.

[C]

For years.

[B]

Not the same.

[C]

No.

[A]

Like, I think he should have been. So they had an auction. Fun fact. And I'll just tell you some of the things that were in the auction of.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[D]

So the bakery had an auction. So they get some of their money back. Is that the idea?

[A]

So, yeah.

[C]

So they got all the assets and then they could sell.

[B]

No, of course they owned them.

[A]

So they had a state sale. Estate sale. This was March 27, 2014. And everyone in the town circle, gather round. Now, here's my thing. Like, don't just get people from cos of Canada. Like, you should really invite rich people. Yeah.

[B]

What you doing?

[A]

State sale into town square. The. So There was a $14,000 gold Dunhill lighter multiple. Actually a Cartier silver cigarette case, an Atmos clock, boxes of crystal silver designer handbags, wallets, luggage and briefcases, all by Louis Vuitton.

[C]

Oh, my.

[A]

Marc Jacobs and Balenciaga. Along with a frighteningly large collection of Hummel figurines.

[C]

Oh, God, no.

[B]

What are those?

[C]

Those are, like, little figurines of, like, people, like, shoveling snow. They're like little groves.

[D]

Little, like, Precious Moments type things.

[C]

They're precious moments.

[A]

What the hell?

[C]

It gets weird.

[B]

He's like, okay, I got you something special.

[A]

They didn't even know what to spend this fucking money on. Sorry.

[C]

If people have Hummel figures out there, I didn't mean to call them grass.

[B]

Well, just so you know. No, I just looked up Hummel figurines, and there's a Hummel on eBay that's $7,000.

[D]

Oh, okay, so they're expensive.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's insane.

[C]

They're glasses.

[B]

But then there's another one for, like, 15 porcelain.

[A]

But also, it just shows me that, Sandy, you could have chilled on how much you were stealing. You didn't even know what to spend this fucking money on.

[D]

Right.

[A]

He became obsessed several $14,000 lighters.

[D]

I know, I know. It's a sickness. It's a sickness.

[C]

Terrible. Just real quick, the guy I went to prom with, his dad was one of these guys, and we had, like, a lavish prom and went to all this stuff. And then years later, we found out he was like on cnbc, like, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, like, showing all of his cars and houses, and he had this whole top building of this downtown building in Indianapolis, and it all crumbled. And people were like, huh. My mom went to college with him, and he was just Ponzi scheme, like, had it going.

[D]

Because it is, isn't it? It's like a thing when you truly easy. Like, when you get the money easily, it. Easy come, easy go type thing.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

There's, like, science behind that.

[A]

And also there's just the addiction of continuing this. You get away with it.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Honestly, I think you got a little high after the postage. And he was like, they can't ever catch me.

[D]

I'm untouchable. Yeah.

[C]

Such a high. Yeah.

[A]

All right, guys, we've reached the end of the show. This was so, so fun.

[B]

Yay. Thanks for having me.

[A]

Thank you for doing it.

[B]

Learned so much.

[A]

So around the table again, Patty, where can people find. Where do you want to be found? That's what I asked.

[D]

On my computer video screen?

[C]

No, I am on Insta and Twitter. Triscuit. Like a Triscuit with a paw in front of it.

[D]

Patrick.

[C]

And at the Groundlings. Show is opening soon. Friday, Saturday nights. It's called Bar Fight. And then Florida Girl. Yes.

[D]

On pop tv.

[A]

How about you, Melanie?

[B]

My name is Melanie Field. I can be found on Instagram @melaniefield. And yeah, check out you on Netflix if you haven't seen it. Second season just came out. It's still on. It's great. And Florida Girl, Pop tv.

[A]

And you, miss Laura Chen.

[D]

Hi. I'm on Instagram at Laura Channel. Chin with four N's.

[A]

Chin in and what? Chin in it.

[D]

What else? Oh, I'm at ucb. I do a show called Outside Dog on Friday nights at 10:30. Come watch. Lacey and I are on Ascat together now. We just started that, so that's gonna be fun. And Florida girls.

[C]

Pop tv.

[B]

Pop tv.

[A]

And guys, as always, you can email us your scams and retired scamsamgoddesspodmail.com and you can find us at scamgodess Pod on Instagram and on Twitter. And you can find me at Di V A L A C I Diva Lacey on all platforms. All right, congregation, stay scheming. Scam Goddess. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. It's produced by Judith Cargbo, engineered by Marina Paiz and researched by Kalen Brandt. Stay scheme.