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- [00:00]
A
Scams C, Robbery and frauds. Scams C, Robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's poppin, Congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. And guys, I'm so. I always say. What do we say? Say it with me. I'm so excited for today's guest, but for real, y', all, okay? This is the first time that we've had a repeat guest. The one, the only. I think for the whole season, this will be the only repeat guest. Guys. She is the Emmy nominated, hilarious queen, one of the amazing hosts of Nailed it. You love her podcast. Why won't you date me? You love her podcast. Best friends. You love her and everything that you freaking see. This is Nicole Byer, guys. What's up, Nicole?
- [01:01]
B
Lacey. What a beautiful intro. And I love that you tell people to say things with you, because I would love to see someone, like, in their car just being, like, just talking with you, feeling themselves. I love it, right?
- [01:15]
A
I feel like, especially now, podcasts are like, you're just kind of talking to yourself, so I want you to feel like I'm talking back. Like, what did y' all say? Y' all so crazy. We just had a moment, so y' all get to keep that. Well, we've talked about scams, Nicole, and your relationship with scams, and yes, yes, yes. I remember you telling me that you've. You've fallen for some scams, right?
- [01:40]
B
Have I fallen? I don't know if I fall. I scammed. We talked about me scamming my dad.
- [01:45]
A
Okay, yeah, we did talk about you scamming your dad. I thought there was a scam that you fell for. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was wrong.
- [01:51]
B
Maybe I don't remember. And I'm trying to rack my brain. I mean, I just bought a shitty bike from a shitty company, and I think that was a fucking scam. Bikeberry.com. i got very drunk and was googling bikes, and, you know, they paid for those ads to pop up first. So I clicked on that paid for ad. I found this purple bike that, like, said it was a cruiser. But then I got it. There was a hole in it. So then I took a picture. There was a hole in the box, and I sent that picture to the company. And they were like, oh, well, the thing that's poking through the box was there just in case there was damage to the box during shipping. I said, well, I don't know if I really want to open the bike and, like, figure out other stuff wrong with it. And they were like, all right, and, you know, bad on me for not reading the return policy where it's like, you pay for the ship and back. I don't know how much shipping is for a fucking bike on myself. Is it a lot? It's probably. Probably. It's a heavy. It's like 70 or, I don't know, not £70, £60, £40, I don't know. And then you pay like a 15 restocking fee. And I was like, so I'm still gonna be out like 50, 60, maybe $80 on this 200 bike. I might as well just put it together. Put it together. This thing is so fucking janky. Like, the gears just twist around and I didn't put it together. I can't do that shit. I had a man put it together.
- [03:14]
A
Did you put it together? I was about to be like, okay, Nicole, this is not expecting that. That was the scam right there. You put the bike together, had a
- [03:23]
B
man put it together, and he was like. He followed the directions to a tee and we could, like, the gears just spin. It is such a shitty bike. So then I post about how shitty it was, and they're like, well, we started a return for you. And I was like, yeah, but I also told you I was going to open it and see how it was. And I opened it, and this is a piece of shit bike. I'm very entitled to that opinion. And I'm like, so now you want me to disassemble it, but this fucking shitty ass bike back in the box. You want me to pay 15%, now I'm just going to donate it. Jacob Wysocki was like, you should donate it. And I was like, oh, yeah. So I might be able to use the frame, because the frame isn't bad. The wheels are bad, the handles are bad.
- [03:59]
A
I thought you were saying you were going to donate it to a place where it was, like, going to be some little kid riding this janky ass bike. I was like, nicole, that I write,
- [04:08]
B
I donated to, like, kids in need of bikes, and then they die on this bikeberry.com bike.
- [04:16]
A
Also, I feel like a bike is something that most people buy in person. Am I crazy? I feel like this is very ambitious of you to, like, buy a. Not a do it yourself bike.
- [04:26]
B
I know, I know. It was very ambitious. I thought I was getting a good deal, but you get what you pay for. John was like. My roommate was like, yeah, you have to go sit on the bike and see it in person. I said, okay, all right, I give up. I'll Go sit on a bike another day.
- [04:44]
A
I think that's the right choice. Cause, look, I won't even do a sourdough starter, so. You are very brave. You are very brave to buy a whole bike in a box. It's my bike in a box.
- [04:54]
B
It's a bike in a box.
- [04:56]
A
Oh, goodness. Let's get into what's hot and fraud. I need a name, Nicole, for this person.
- [05:03]
B
Mm.
- [05:05]
A
This person probably identifies as a woman, but. But I don't care. It can be any name you want in the world.
- [05:11]
B
Okay.
- [05:14]
A
I love that you're really giving this a lot of thought.
- [05:16]
B
Okay. You just. Just a name.
- [05:20]
A
Just a name for a person.
- [05:22]
B
Okay. Let's call her Theresa. What a basic fucking name.
- [05:28]
A
You did all that thinking.
- [05:29]
B
I did all that time for Theresa, and I came up with Theresa. No, Shamika. That's my cousin's name. Shamika.
- [05:38]
A
Shamika. I know some Shamikas. They're nice. Most of them, they can fight. Can your cousin fight? Does she look like she can fight?
- [05:45]
B
I think Shamika could take you on. On a fight. She's tall.
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A
Oh, okay.
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B
She's a tall woman.
- [05:51]
A
I've never met a Shamika that couldn't fight. So that's just something they're skilled at. Okay. There's nothing wrong with that. So Shamika says, I did this scam a decade ago when I was a young, broke adult, and it worked out well at the time. Okay. She says, in my state, home state of Montana, Shamika. Okay, Shemeka is definitely white. I just looked at the Google photo. Shamika said, also, she said, my home state of Montana. And that made me shoot my eyes back up to the photo, because I was like, are there. Is there a black in Montana?
- [06:24]
B
I went to Billings, Montana, once, and to get to Billings, Montana, I think I flew to whatever their capital is or whatever their big city is and then got on the tiniest plane to get to Billings. And the black flight attendant looked at me as I got on the plane and said, honey, you going to the right place? And I was like, well, she's asking. I don't know. Then I got there, and I was like, now I know why she was. She was worried about.
- [06:47]
A
She started smiling and blinking, and the tear came out her eye.
- [06:50]
B
Yes.
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A
She was like, no, no, no, no, no. Yes.
- [06:52]
B
She was, no, no, no. Get. Get off the plane. Get out.
- [06:57]
A
I feel like you went to one of those towns where, like, they have a population sign, and then it, like, goes up when you get there.
- [07:03]
B
Yep. It goes right back down. When I left the next day.
- [07:07]
A
Were you there for work or something? Why were you?
- [07:09]
B
Okay, I was doing a show at a college. College shows have truly taken me to the wildest, most racist, smallest towns I've ever been to.
- [07:20]
A
And it's funny because they hired you. Correct. Now, you are very funny, and you're very talented and very beautiful, Nicole. But part of me wonders if they hired you, because they were like, this is our one chance to lay eyes on a black person. We're gonna have to pay them, but they will come.
- [07:35]
B
A lot of campuses are pretty liberal. Like, you'll be smack dab in the middle of, like, Confederate flag country. Like, I was in Arizona, got off the plane. Tons of Trump flags. This is in 2015. And, like, you know, Confederate flags. I saw, like, a peep of a swastika somewhere and then got to the campus, and it was like, hippie, dippy people with, like, neon hair. And I was like, what the fuck did I do? It's so. It's like, once you cross over into the college, they're like, higher learning. We're inclusive. We want to love everybody, so. But also, maybe it is just to see a black one one time.
- [08:12]
A
I'm sure it was because you're very funny, but. But also, I'm sure afterwards they were like, wow, that's what it's like, guys. A black person.
- [08:21]
B
Oh, my God. Did you do meet and greet her in person? Yeah, I usually do meet.
- [08:26]
A
So they got to talk to you?
- [08:28]
B
They did. They did. And one college, a woman gave me lotion, and I was like, is this a dig? I was like, am I. I guess I'm notoriously ashy. I always post pictures, and I look so ashy. And it was a white lady, and I was like, oh, no. If they know.
- [08:44]
A
No, not if they know. Look, white people don't know about ashiness. They don't know about it. But I will say that. Jac, she says that it's racist when people don't have lotion in the bathroom because black people need lotion after they wash their hands. So maybe. Maybe she was just trying to help you out.
- [09:01]
B
Maybe. Maybe she was. She was like, there is no lotion in Billings, Montana. Not one Walmart carries a single drop of lotion. So I'll do you a favor. But white people do need lotion.
- [09:12]
A
They do, but they don't know that they need it. Oh, you know what? Now is your chance, y'. All. Lotion. Everybody needs it.
- [09:19]
B
Yes, everybody needs it.
- [09:20]
A
Wait, here's the indic. Okay, I think this is gonna be indicative if she was being shady. Was it like a fragrant, like a nice lotion or did she give you some jerkins?
- [09:30]
B
No, it was actually very nice lotion. I cannot say the name of the company I've been laughed at before. Luctane. L'.
- [09:38]
A
Occitane.
- [09:39]
B
Oh, my God. Yep.
- [09:42]
A
No, no, no, no, listen. I didn't know either. I had a boyfriend in college and he spoke fluent French and one time I was like, oh, I love.
- [09:50]
B
And he was like, l'.
- [09:51]
A
Occitane. I was like, oh, l'.
- [09:53]
B
Occitane. That's so. I'll never fucking remember that name. L'. Occitane. What a treat. L'. Occitane.
- [10:00]
A
It really rolls off your tongue, though. You're giving me face.
- [10:02]
B
It doesn't, but you can remember it.
- [10:05]
A
Well, no, she was trying to flex. She went and got you some good lotion, I think. That wasn't shade. That wasn't shade.
- [10:11]
B
Okay. She was being nice.
- [10:12]
A
All right, so back to Shamika, who's definitely white. She says, in my state of Montana, we have a quit line. You can call for free. Free anti smoking items like gum and patches. I took it upon myself to call the quit line and have the short conversation about my smoking habits. They agreed to send me the patches. And every two weeks I need to have a 15 minute conversation with them to check in on how I'm doing. That's interesting to me because it's like, if people want to quit, then why do I need to? Like, they're like, okay, yeah, you want to quit. So how was this week? How many cigarettes did you have? How much, like, how much tobacco did you lick on? Like, what, what is this conversation?
- [10:52]
B
Lick on? Well, quitting is very hard. I've tried to quit smoking no less than four times. 10 times, 100 times, and it's hard.
- [11:02]
A
I will say that I was never into smoking cigarettes, but for a four month period, I was juuling like I was a 15 year old.
- [11:15]
B
Well, yeah, you just puff on them inside.
- [11:17]
A
It was.
- [11:18]
B
That's so wild that you weren't a SM smoker, but you were like, but Jewel, I'll do that because, you know,
- [11:23]
A
we do comedy and we'll be outside of bars and afterwards and, you know, you have a few drinks and then people would be like, Julian. And I'd be like, and sometimes back in the day I would like bum a cigarette. So it wasn't like a big deal to like, you know, do that. So I was like, oh, Jewel. Then I was like, oh, it's not sanitary to just like puff someone else's Jewel. I'll just go grab my own for whenever. And then I woke up and Nicole, I kid you not, Juul pods everywhere. Like fucking chargers everywhere. And I didn't know when I had become this person. I had a Juul charger in my car. So I really tried to plug it in my car and keep the Juul charged all day. I had no idea that I was so ridiculously addicted to it.
- [12:03]
B
So the commercials are real. When there's a team that's like, it started with one puff and next thing I knew, my life revolved around Juul.
- [12:10]
A
I was sucking dick for Jewel. Like,
- [12:15]
B
you know, that's when times is rough, when you are sucking dick for a cigarette or a Jewel.
- [12:21]
A
Look, they're not cheap either. And those pods are not cheap.
- [12:25]
B
How much are those pods?
- [12:26]
A
Those pods depending on what store you're going to, some stores will really rip you off and they'll be like 35 for a four pack.
- [12:31]
B
Damn.
- [12:32]
A
And then some places it's 27 for a four pack.
- [12:35]
B
Damn. You know, I miss the days where you could share a cigarette with a friend or drink after a friend. Never again. Never again. We was fucking nasty. Like, you know, like, now that I think about it, like, I kind of like wearing a mask. Especially like working. Cause like people get so close to you to mic you, and now it's so nice that like, we're not breathing on each other.
- [12:57]
A
I think it's great. I also think it's a wake up call to people who had hot ass breath. And we can never tell people that they breath hot. Like, can we normalize telling people that they breath is hot as fuck? Cause there's people singeing my eyelashes off and now I know they gotta smell that. They gotta have it burn they own nostrils.
- [13:13]
B
Just right back up in there. I was at a protest and I was like, oh, no, I think I have bad breath. And then Sashir was like, did you. When's the last time you washed your mask? And I was like, wash. But now I'm. I'm in it. I'm in the game. I realize it's like clothing. You gotta wash it every couple days. So I'm in it.
- [13:36]
A
Yes. I've had. I've had to go out with a funky mask once or twice. And I was like, this is fucking torture. Just. It's awful scams, C. But yeah, so. Oh my God. I've never admitted. Am I gonna. Maybe I'll cut that out about the juul thing. I don't know if I'm ready to tell you guys that I was doing that, but I was. I was. I guess I'll be honest.
- [13:57]
B
I mean, you don't have to be.
- [13:59]
A
Don't do.
- [14:00]
B
Jewel, if you don't want the information out there. I rarely talk about smoking because people look down on you so much, and they're like, just quit.
- [14:08]
A
It's not good.
- [14:09]
B
And I'm like, you don't think I know we're in a pandemic and I'm hiding in my house because I'm more susceptible to, like, I have bad lungs, yet I know. I know what I've been doing, right?
- [14:19]
A
And it's like. And people that's. But maybe this will be a cautionary tale for someone out there. Guys, don't drool. Don't drool. It's bad.
- [14:25]
B
Don't. Jewel, don't start.
- [14:27]
A
Don't start. No, for real, don't start.
- [14:29]
B
It's like, I had to learn how to smoke. I'm not an inherent smoker. So I would, like, sit in my garage and, like, inhale and then cough, and then slowly inhale halfway, hold the other half in my mouth. It was, why? For what? And now it's, you know, $20 every couple days just so I can get my little fix. It's. It's a thank you. Big Tobacco.
- [14:54]
A
That's a scam, right? Oh, the biggest. One of the biggest. It's crazy that Big Tobacco also pays for all the ads that warn you about cigarettes. Because that's like, do this. That's like, their rule. Like, their thing with the government is like, Philip Morris. Like, they have to pay for those ads.
- [15:09]
B
They pay for the Truth House.
- [15:11]
A
Yes. With the little black kids. Like, I would never smoke. Cause I can't let my hood down. And now we about to dance and play basketball. Why are those commercials like that?
- [15:25]
B
That is. I mean, yeah, black commercials. Sometimes I'm like, who did this? Was it a black person, or is this a white person projecting what they think black culture is?
- [15:35]
A
If you want to see a TV show where you can very much tell where everyone on it was white who was writing for the black people. I highly recommend in the Dark. I think that's what it's called on Netflix. That's the show about the blind woman who becomes a detective. That don't even sound right.
- [15:55]
B
I'm not being ableist, but maybe I am being ableist. I feel like that would be just a real uphill battle.
- [16:02]
A
It is. And that's why? The show's fun to watch because you're watching her like she's impress. But then she saw the murder of her little black friend who saved her once from a mugging. But he's a drug dealer, but he's clearly a British actor. And the whole thing is written by white people. You can just tell that they'd never heard of drug dealers before. They probably watched the Wire a little bit and were like, I can do that.
- [16:29]
B
I once did a McDonald's commercial where McDonald's, you know, props to them. They have a whole website for black people. It's called McDonald's 365. And they. And it's like they talk about black history all year round. But I.
- [16:45]
A
That's how you know.
- [16:46]
B
Because they know who their customer is, you know? But I did this voiceover. It was me and two or three other black women. And I don't remember if I had auditioned for it, but they were like, all right, let's go for it. And my line was, don't steal my French fries. So I said, don't steal my French fries. And they were like, can you. And then I was like, sass it up. And then the other women laughed, and I was like, don't steal my French fries. And then the other women sounded just like me, and they were like, girl, that's my coke.
- [17:17]
A
Who did who?
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B
I'm gonna dip it in the fridge.
- [17:19]
A
Fry. Yeah. Poppity, poppity pop.
- [17:21]
B
Then after all three of us did it like that, the whoever, I guess it was whoever, like the producers or whatever the buyers were like, okay, let's just go back to your normal voices. And I was like, point made. I like. I love that we made that point. Because it was like, if you want a minstrel show, that's what you can have. Or you can have, like, just three black women talking. It was wild.
- [17:46]
A
I am gonna take that with me because that is an excellent way to not who's also like, why are the lines, like, y' all getting robbed? Like, why? And your bet, don't speak. Cause I know you like to steal. Y' all know how y' all be like, what? Why are y' all getting robbed in this commercial?
- [18:04]
B
So sheer. Has a pretty good joke about it. I can't remember. It was like the black blinds to go where it was like, you can't see in my house. It was based on a commercial. And then I have a joke about McDonald's and how, my God, sometimes they're just like, my baby daddy took me to get a McRib. And I was like, they both back. And you're like, what the fuck?
- [18:24]
A
They both back. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I have to go home. And I'm at home. So, guys, what a wild tangent. But to wrap up Shamika, White Shamika's letter. White Shamika says after she would have her conversations where she talked about how hard it was, and actually, we just talked about how hard it is. And so I understand these conversations now. She said, I received all three stages of patches. Not sure how many in total, but as soon as I got them, I put them up for sale on ebay, and. And I had no problem selling them for $30 or $40 a box. I know I made a few hundred dollars doing this, and eventually I just ignored their calls and quit getting the patches. I'm terrible. Signed Shamika. So just in case you forgot what we were talking about when we went on these tangents, Shamika.
- [19:15]
B
Truly, I did.
- [19:16]
A
Shamika maybe never smoked cigarettes, or if she did, she didn't quit or she just called the quit line, got the very expensive free quitting materials, and then she went to ebay and she slanged them. You know, I don't.
- [19:32]
B
I don't knock the hustle. I really don't.
- [19:35]
A
Shameka. I fucks with you. Like, I think, come on in Montana.
- [19:40]
B
Yes. Get it, Shamika. I think Shamika is an entrepreneur.
- [19:44]
A
Yes. She's a. What do they call it when you're a woman entrepreneur? A hertrepreneur. I thought we had a word for that.
- [19:51]
B
Do we?
- [19:51]
A
Where we just put her in it or something.
- [19:54]
B
A hertrepreneur.
- [19:55]
A
She chapreneur.
- [19:58]
B
Hertrepreneur. Truly. Sounds like something wrong with, like, a herniated disc.
- [20:01]
A
Yeah.
- [20:02]
B
Ooh. I hertrepeneured my disc.
- [20:04]
A
Yeah, you're right. It's not very motivating. We don't. We don't need that one. So this is my favorite segment of the show, Historic Hoodwinks, where I will regale Emmy nominated Nicole Byer with. I just have to sprinkle it in, like, seasoning a little bit.
- [20:19]
B
Cause honestly, it truly is such a wild thing. Who would have thought.
- [20:24]
A
I would have.
- [20:25]
B
Who?
- [20:25]
A
Who would have thought You're a black queen. I love it. So I'm gonna regale her with the Historic Hoodwink, and we're just gonna get her thoughts and opinions along the way. Today we're talking about a man named Jonathan Walton, a producer on American Ninja Warrior. That's that show where the athletic people hurt themselves yes. And they do an obstacle course, so you watch it, hoping that they fall.
- [20:50]
B
Yes.
- [20:51]
A
So he was conned out of nearly $90,000 by his best friend. Gonna put that in quotes, Mayor Smythe. Mayor claimed to be a royal Irish heiress waiting to inherit 5 million euros.
- [21:06]
B
So wait a minute, Irish actors. If I ever met somebody, if I ever met somebody who was like, just so you know, I'm an heiress and I'm gonna inherit $5 million, I'd be like, so you good with money? I don't have to give you shit. Right? You good. You about to get it.
- [21:22]
A
But I'm about to get it, though, girl. Like, I just need the taxes and fees.
- [21:26]
B
No, don't worry about it. You can pay for all that once you get your inheritance.
- [21:30]
A
So I'm gonna tell you some things that are gonna make more sense as to why maybe this worked on him. Okay, so the first time that Jonathan, who was 45, met this woman who became his best friend and turned into his worst enemy, obviously she was offering his building's pool. So Walton lived in a Bunker Hill apartment complex in downtown Los Angeles. Where is Bunker Hill?
- [21:52]
B
Yeah, I don't know where Bunker Hill
- [21:53]
A
is, but it says downtown la. I don't live down there. So it says they lost access to their stunning pool amid a dispute with another building. These are champagne problems. They were like, we lost the pool also. What do you mean a dispute with another building? Y' all was fighting that building. I really want to imagine people punching Brick, but I know that's not what's happening, so.
- [22:17]
B
No, not at all.
- [22:18]
A
When Walton, an earnest and animated former news reporter, held a meeting about the incident in his living room, about 30 people showed up because they're trying to get the pool back, guys.
- [22:28]
B
I guess.
- [22:29]
A
So that meeting is where he met 40 something year old woman with jet black hair in a pixie cut. Ooh. She's a manic pixie dream girl. Who soon took charge of the conversation. She was dressed in pastel colored clothes, shoes that looks high end, and she spoke with the slightest trace of an accent, which I'm assuming is an Irish accent, which is a hard accent to do.
- [22:52]
B
Yeah, to do just like a trace of. I would think it's harder than just fully getting into it.
- [22:57]
A
You're like, your charms.
- [22:58]
B
I only think so. Listen, I want the pool to come back. I don't. Whoop, whoop, whoop.
- [23:05]
A
That was bad. No, that was really good. That was better than anything I could do. I. I literally went to. They're magically delicious.
- [23:14]
B
Like I could have never done this. They stole me like a charms and took away my pool.
- [23:20]
A
Well, this worked also. I feel like he must have equated her with just casually wearing pastels. As someone who's like, rich, I'm trying to think. I don't see a lot of people just like, unless you're at Coachella, you don't just see people who are walking around in full pastel, not like head
- [23:37]
B
to toe in pastel. But now I'm thinking about maybe I gotta get more pastel in my life. Right?
- [23:43]
A
Is that how I show people I'm a real fancy hoe?
- [23:45]
B
Is like, I got money. I'm wearing lavender maybe.
- [23:49]
A
Because I really don't see it that often. So she said during her conversation where she had taken over that she was a luxury travel agent and her boyfriend was a of part prominent real estate lawyer. She said that she had sued their own apartment complex a couple of times and won. Oh, have you ever needed to sue your apartment? Compliment? You live in a house, but when you lived in an apartment, did you need to sue them?
- [24:13]
B
No, no, no, no, no. Although my landlord. Oh, maybe I talked about this last time. My landlord was running a scam. So he was like, you can give me or the super your rent. And then a couple years down the line, there was a note on the building that was like, do not let Louis in the building. He was embezzling money. And then in the paper, we were like, oh, yeah, he was like, embezzling money and send his kids to private school. Which I was like, you know, that's nice, right?
- [24:40]
A
That's a nice thing. He did it for the children.
- [24:41]
B
You know, that's nice.
- [24:42]
A
Also, we need to teach the children. Let them lead the way.
- [24:46]
B
Yes, but no. I've never had to sue my apartment. I know. Pay rent. I never paid rent on time. This is the first time in my life where I've paid my living expenses on time because it comes out of my bank account.
- [24:56]
A
Oh, right. Because it's like auto withdraw. I'm childish. I won't do that. And I know that it could withdraw forever and I'd probably be fine, but every month I just get the email and I begrudgingly go over there and like hit the payment button. And I don't know why I do it. I think I get high from it sometimes. I'll wait because I only get till the third. I don't even get till the fifth before you get a late fee. So I'm like, you only get to the third? The third Girl, they don't play my
- [25:22]
B
apartment in New York. When I finally moved out, I would also never pay rent on time. I would pay like three months at a time after the three months. And then when I finally moved out, they were like, your last month of rent is due. And I was like, that's why you bitches have security. And they're like, no, the security is covering all your late fees. And I was like, I don't live here no more. So I. This is beautiful.
- [25:45]
A
You really are a scammer, Nicole. She was like, that's why you got that deposit. Bye. Bye. So she's very charismatic. She's bantering with the neighbors. She sued the building a bunch of times. I imagine her going to like, Judge Joe Brown suing the apartment building. I hope that's where it happens. And her story is that she, in time would also mention that she was pals with Ashley Judd and show him a closet full of allegedly thousand dollar designer shoes and share that she had a psychic gift. Now, I know what you're thinking. If you met somebody and they were like, hey, I be suing my apartment building every other Thursday. I own thousand dollar shoes. Ashley Judd is my homegirl. And also I'm a psychic. Like, if you heard all of that at one time, you would be like, bitch, what's going on?
- [26:35]
B
I would be like, I should stay away from this fucking person. This is too much.
- [26:39]
A
But they were friends for four years before she scammed him.
- [26:45]
B
Honestly, Bravo. This is bravo. What a long time, right?
- [26:49]
A
I was very impressed. So I get how over the years, if you have a casual conversation, like, my homegirl would be like, girl, you know I'm a brujah. And I wouldn't think that's crazy. I was like, yeah, you a brujah. But I've known her for years. I was like, sure, you're a brujah. She hasn't asked me for $90,000 yet, but.
- [27:05]
B
But beware, right?
- [27:06]
A
But she has shown me some nice clothes, she is friends with some famous people, and she's a brujah. So technically I already know somebody like this. I'm just saying she worked it in a way. I was like, all seems legit, seems normal. So she unwound her story over many, many meetings, like we were just talking about. And later on, in a visit to her apartment, Walton glimpsed at a small frame printed on what Smith said was the constitution of Ireland. So it's. Her last name is Smith. So he looked at this frame and then he was like, what is this? And he was like, oh, this the constitution of Ireland, you know, casual, hanging in my living room. She said that her great uncle had signed it, she explained, pointing out his signature. Later, she said that the same great uncle had just died and stood to inherit. She stood inherit part of his 25 million dollar euro, or excuse me, million euro inheritance, which is about $27.5 million. So, in keeping with her image as a wealthy and worldly heiress, she occasionally showed Walton texts and emails from her friends, like Ashley Judd, whom she had met in college. Ashley, I'm so sorry. Why did you.
- [28:14]
B
Yeah, truly that her name is dragged all over this.
- [28:18]
A
Also, like, is she, like, relabeling somebody's number in her phone? Ashley Judd and texting her?
- [28:23]
B
Probably, probably. But also, what a wild person to pick. No shade to Ashley Judd, but she's not. Well, I guess. Honestly, what a smart pick. Because she's not super famous. But, like, we all know Ashley Judd's name.
- [28:39]
A
Well, didn't Harvey Weinstein ruin her career? I think that's what Ashley Judd. Poor Ashley Judd. Girl, I could be absolutely wrong about that. Let me say allegedly.
- [28:49]
B
Allegedly.
- [28:50]
A
By allegedly, I mean I thought that. But last time I came on here and I said that Michael Jackson song at the end, where they go, Mama Sammy Masa, Mama Gusa. I was like, it's actually words, guys. It means I'm going to keep going. I'm not going to stop. I'm going to keep going. I definitely told everybody that was true. And they're like, no, it's not.
- [29:11]
B
That is. I love that you just up on here lying to people. People be telling their friends facts that they learned from Lacey, and then they're like, girl, that's not it. That's. No, she lying to you.
- [29:22]
A
Look, the scam facts are true, guys. We research. I swear. But anything that I say off the cuff could be a lie. But it's not a lie if I believe it. Remember, that's how the truth works. I taught y' all that.
- [29:35]
B
That's what I honestly believe.
- [29:38]
A
So due to her family's money, she said that she didn't need a job, but preferred to keep busy working for luxury tour operators.
- [29:45]
B
Sure.
- [29:46]
A
PacificIslands.com and later as a psychic. In the time Walton knew her, she also had several plastic surgeries, including what he recalls as a nose job, a breast enhancement, and some liposuction. So she's an LA girl.
- [30:02]
B
Yes.
- [30:02]
A
She getting it. Reading tarot.
- [30:04]
B
Getting that waist snatched. Yes.
- [30:06]
A
Getting lip fillers.
- [30:07]
B
Huh? Yeah.
- [30:08]
A
As you do.
- [30:09]
B
She's. She's a housewife. I love it.
- [30:11]
A
Not mad at all. So they are have this really close friendship. He opens up to her her about his family and about his sexuality and how some people didn't expect accept him. She understood how painful alienation from family members could be. She said, revealing that her cousins were trying to get her disinherited the drama. So she showed him nasty texts and emails from these cousins, especially one named Fenton, who occasionally wrote in Gaelic. Walton was enthralled with the family drama. So she basically was like, I wouldn't be surprised if this was like all the plot of several Tyler Perry movies that she has seen. She just put some Irish.
- [30:53]
B
I'm do my own. I mean, Tyler doesn't take too much time to produce them. I think she took more time to produce a Tyler Perry movie than Tyler takes to produce his own stuff to produce these emails.
- [31:03]
A
You might be right.
- [31:04]
B
And I'm not being shady, because he is.
- [31:06]
A
He works very quick.
- [31:07]
B
He shoots seasons in the matter of weeks, and he does, which is wild.
- [31:12]
A
And I know actors who work for him and they work very hard. I was like, shout out to y',
- [31:17]
B
all because long days, long days, long
- [31:20]
A
days and wigs the wig, wigs, wigs,
- [31:23]
B
wigs, wigs, wigs, wigs on wigs on wigs the wigs.
- [31:26]
A
Just if. If you could manifest struggle into a hairpiece. Those wigs, they're rough. Robbery and fraud. So basically, she moves to a new loft, and they call each other all the time, tell each other that they love each other. So now let's get into her inheritance. By April 2015, homegirl had come to Walton with tears cascading down her face, asking for a loan. So the first loan that she got was for $4,200. Then she came back and said she needed another $5,800 to pay rent at her new loft. Which is crazy because she had an inheritance, right?
- [32:21]
B
Yes. And she's a psychic, so she didn't see it coming. She didn't move before she couldn't afford to pay it.
- [32:25]
A
She did not move before she could afford to pay it.
- [32:28]
B
Okay, get out.
- [32:29]
A
She said that her great uncle's will contained a clause stating that anyone with a convicted felony would be exempt from the will. Walton voiced his fears that Smith's cousins might frame her to push her out of the will. So this is why. So in 2014, Walton's speculation seemed to come true. He received a collect call from a detention facility that Smith had been arrested on charges that she had stolen about $200,000 from PacificIslands.com, which is the travel agency that she worked for. So she basically sold this as like, my cousins are setting me up. That call that you got from jail, that's fentoning them. Was it in Gaelic?
- [33:11]
B
I mean, this is exhaust. Honestly, the amount of work she put in, she could have just gotten herself a job.
- [33:18]
A
This wasn't.
- [33:19]
B
This is work. This is work.
- [33:21]
A
That's the thing about scamming. People think scamming is not work. Scamming isn't employment, it's a profession. I'm honestly upset that scammers can't get unemployment right now because they have been self employed. And, you know, that's something we need to work on. Yeah.
- [33:34]
B
Mm.
- [33:35]
A
They want. They need they stimulus too. We need a scam stimulus for robbery. Okay. How you gonna be doing robbery when everybody in they house, Truly, I was
- [33:45]
B
just thinking that the other day. I was like, how do you rob a house if everybody's home?
- [33:50]
A
So just like, hairdressers can't do hair in person, robbers can't do their normal robberies in person.
- [33:56]
B
They can't rob in person.
- [33:57]
A
Exactly. So everybody's really hurting right now. So I feel for her, I feel for myself.
- [34:03]
B
I really do.
- [34:04]
A
So cut back to. She's crying to him, like, I need this money. I gotta go down to the attorney's office because they done froze my bank accounts. The LA District Attorney froze my coins up. Cause they think that I did this robbery at this job that I definitely worked at. But really it was my cousins who had set me up. But for some reason, the jail called you. But really it was my cousins who had put me in jail from Ireland. This makes sense.
- [34:32]
B
I mean, the fact that he fell for that is so wild.
- [34:35]
A
She was throwing a lot at him at once. It was probably a lot to process.
- [34:38]
B
Yeah. You know, and he's like, but that's my pastel friend. Right?
- [34:42]
A
And she. He came out to her about his lifestyle. Like, she accepted him. So they had an emotional relationship, so it makes sense. So he wrote her a cashier's check, which. Those are the checks that go.
- [34:55]
B
That's money, that's liquid.
- [34:57]
A
So he agreed that she said when she regained access to her bank account or received her inheritance, she would pay him back. In the meantime, she moved back into Bunker Hill Towers for a relatively cheaper rent. With the case still ongoing, she asked him for another $3,800 the next month for rent over the year. As it passed on and dragged on, with Walton receiving frequent updates, she was still asking him for money. So in September 2016, she finally came and just really got the bag. She said that, hey, they're gonna give me a plea agreement for this money that I didn't steal from my job, that my definitely my cousins have framed me from a different country for. Great plea agreement. I'm getting $50,000 and serve jail time, but I'm gonna need $50,000 from you.
- [35:45]
B
And this man gave her $50,000.
- [35:49]
A
He forked over nearly $60,000. Yeah. And he also loaned her $2,000 for the lawyer to help her avoid eviction, because then she wasn't paying rent.
- [35:58]
B
Then what was she spending the money on? This man needed to ask questions. I would be like, what? How? No, he didn't ask a question. So he just had $60,000 laying around. This man is a smart man to have that much cash.
- [36:13]
A
Well, he worked in tv, so, you know, he might have been getting the checks.
- [36:17]
B
I mean, damn. And he.
- [36:20]
A
That's why he believed her. He believed that she was going to repay him. But one day during her February 2017 sentence, when Walton logged onto the jail's website to schedule a visit, he clicked on her profile at the LA County Sheriff's website, and he noticed something strange. She had been charged and convicted with a felony, so she was trying to avoid eviction. She eventually did have to go to jail. And then when he was going to go see her, probably put some money on her books for some ramen noodles and stuff.
- [36:48]
B
Mm.
- [36:48]
A
He looked, and they were like, yeah, she was convicted of a felony. Felony. Like, she was doing crime. Crime. So he took a day off work, traveled to the airport courthouse near LAX to draw up the records on her case. When he started looking through the records, he realized that everything that she told him was, say it with me, guys, a lie. The plea agreement meant that she had pleaded guilty, that her bank accounts had never been frozen. They weren't frozen. They just were empty.
- [37:16]
B
Empty.
- [37:18]
A
I'mma start telling people, my bank account, frozen. If it ain't no money in there, it basically is. The bank won't let me make transfers anymore because they said it's no money in there. So they stopped. They froze my transfers.
- [37:30]
B
They froze it. So if you want to, you know, PayPal me some. You want to Venmo me something so I can get my transfers back up? That's. My God.
- [37:39]
A
That's excellent wording. If you want to Venmo me money so I can get my transfers back up. That's the phrasing. That is excellent phrasing for I Don't have no money. Send me money so I can start spending money again. That's amazing. So her plea agreement was for $40,000, not 50. And it included 180 day jail sentence, later reduced to 30 days. Oh, God. So basically, she skimmed him. She, like upped. She was like, I need $50,000 so I can get this time served. But then she just kept a little 10 so she could get her transfers back up. So she was like, some for the
- [38:15]
B
court, some for me, some for me.
- [38:18]
A
On the day of the release, he picked her up, which I'm like, bro, why are you even still fucking with her?
- [38:23]
B
Yeah, why are you still involved?
- [38:24]
A
Because I think he was trying to get his money back. So he was like, you've been lying to me this entire time about everything. The next day, he filed a police report alleging a total to theft of $75,000. Right. So Walton's landlord shared that homegirl also was $12,000 behind in apartment payments and had delayed them from further because she said she had cancer and that her disability insurance wasn't arriving on time. She was running. Oh, she.
- [38:55]
B
My God.
- [38:56]
A
Where was the money for rent going? Because remember, he. He helped her with an eviction lawyer, quote, unquote, $2,000.
- [39:02]
B
Well, that's how she had that expensive shoes and shit. She was just buying stuff.
- [39:07]
A
Just can't buy shoes.
- [39:08]
B
She's funny.
- [39:09]
A
I love her. They were like, ma', am, we gonna put you in the street. She was like, okay, but I really need these loose. Also, my cancer hurts right now, so.
- [39:18]
B
My cancer hurts so bad, I better go buy a shoe. That's the cure.
- [39:22]
A
Yeah, I can't actually talk about this right now because. Ooh, that was my cancer. Okay, so I'm gonna close the door now. Bye. Bye. So background checks reveal that she'd also been charged with writing bad checks. Fraud in Tennessee, in Florida, grand theft, among other counts. She was also doing San Andreas.
- [39:43]
B
I love her.
- [39:44]
A
Yes. And then the jury found that Smith was guilty of grand theft and sentenced her to five years in jail. So this is on top of the 180 days that she got from robbing her former employment. She did end up having to go to jail for robbing her homeboy. And, man, there's a lot to unpack there that we just don't have time to unpack. You guys unpack it in your cars, wherever you are. But this Irish woman is a queen.
- [40:10]
B
I love her.
- [40:11]
A
She was.
- [40:11]
B
So that's it. That's like, over the course of four years, you stole $80,000. That's pretty good. That's 20 a year. That's nice. Tax free. That is $20,000 a year. That's like pretty decent. And I'm sure that's not the only scam she was running on people, obviously.
- [40:30]
A
Rent scam, yes. She had grand theft. She had like her whole life was a grift.
- [40:35]
B
She doing it. She doing big things.
- [40:37]
A
So for scammer of the week, we just want to highlight a king, a Floridian, a Florida man. You know, if you really just want trash, if you really just want. And I can say that I lived in Florida, it's okay for me to say that. A Florida man bought a $140,000 Porsche with a check that he printed from home on his computer. I don't even know how people think of stuff like this.
- [41:00]
B
But also the dealership was like, ah, looks right?
- [41:06]
A
What? How? What look, times are hard. They trying to sell these Porsches. They say, anybody want to come in here?
- [41:11]
B
I guess so.
- [41:12]
A
42 year old Casey William Kelly. Oh, I love that he has three first names. That's what I'm talking about. Robbery. Was charged with a grand theft of a motor vehicle and uttering a false banknote. According to the Walton County Sheriff's Office, he allegedly handed over a cashier's check that he printed from his home computer to buy the car. The car was later reported stolen to Okaloosa County Sheriff Office. So he. So also we just talked about in the last story, like you do a cashier's check that's as good as cash
- [41:38]
B
pretty much, if it looks real, if it looks legit.
- [41:42]
A
So this is what he did. Shortly after purchasing the German luxury car. Authorities say that Kelly then attempted to buy three Rolex watches. He was gonna let it ride. He said, where my printer at? Get the inkjet. I've been.
- [41:55]
B
That's so funny. That is so fucking funny.
- [41:58]
A
He handed over a fraudulent check for $61,000 to a jeweler. However, the jeweler kept the watches until they could determine if the check would clear. See, cause jewelry, you know, obviously he's a white man.
- [42:10]
B
People don't fuck with jewelry because jewelry goes up in value sometimes, right? So like a vintage Rolex, those go for like a ton of cash. So smart on them. But also with the car, I would have done a lease. I would have given them a fake address. I would have done. I mean, you probably had to put some money down. So you get the fraudulent check for that, give them a dummy address, and then never park the car near your House and be like, I don't know what you're talking about.
- [42:37]
A
That's a good one. Because then it's also, like, they might contact you. Like, oh, this check didn't go through. But you. We got this lease set up. We got all your info, and then you could drive it around for long. He just straight up, like, stealing it.
- [42:48]
B
Okay, now I have the perfect plan. Okay, so we get a fake driver's license with your picture, different name, different address. Because I don't think they do any sort of background checks. So if you can make fraudulent checks, write that check for the down payment on the lease. How will they get to you?
- [43:06]
A
They can't.
- [43:07]
B
They can't find you. And then the bank is on the hook because when you lease a car, the bank buys the car, you pay the bank. So you are literally out of it.
- [43:18]
A
Everyone go out there and print your cashier's check. Emmy nominated Nicole Byer has taught you how to do this scam. That was her TED Talk. It was free for you and for me. I just. I think also the jeweler probably caught on because jewelers deal with criminals all the time. Like love jewelry.
- [43:40]
B
Like, that's their go to. And you're buying three Rolexes for what? For what? For who?
- [43:44]
A
For why? For how? So you know what? But shout out to a three first name king, Casey William Kelly, because I don't even know how you thought to print out a cashier's check at your home. Probably been sitting inside too long. Coronavirus. She was like, I could print out a cashier's check from my home.
- [44:00]
B
Or maybe he saw catch me if you can, that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio running all them scams. And he was like, I can do that. I'm cute.
- [44:07]
A
Listen. And he. He did. And did. He did get the car off the lot. So I'm proud of this king.
- [44:12]
B
But we. Me too.
- [44:14]
A
We have reached the end of the show.
- [44:15]
B
Nicole Lacey, thank you so much for having me back. Honestly, it's just a treat to talk to you.
- [44:21]
A
It is. Thank you for being here. Seriously. Wait, where do you want to be found?
- [44:28]
B
Hopefully engaged with a nice man. No, you can find me on Instagram, Twitter. Nicole Byer. I have other podcasts. Why you date me? Best friends 90 day ban Patreon drag her with mono agapian where we talk about drag race newcomers with Lauren Lapis where now we are watching Lord of the rings and good lord, that movie's a scam. They're too long. They should have been broken up. But yeah, you could just. Oh, and I have a book, Very Fat, very brave. It's a self help guide for fat women. But if you're a thin and you have low self esteem, I maybe you'll help.
- [44:59]
A
I don't know what a sales pitch there. And if you're thin and you hate yourself. No, no, no, no, no.
- [45:07]
B
Yeah, I can, I can help you, you thin self hating bitch. No, I'm kidding.
- [45:11]
A
No, no, no, no, no. But it's a good book for just confidence in general.
- [45:15]
B
Yeah. And it's got like little comebacks if someone insults you. The main takeaway of the book, I'll just tell you, I'd prefer if you bought it is like if someone says something about your body, it means you're powerful because that person had to stop their day to tell you something and you never thought once about them. Yes.
- [45:34]
A
I love that. Yes, guys. Very Fat, very brave. Oh my God, all the things you have so many podcasts as always, guys, email us scamgoddesspodmail.com snitch on your friends, your family and yourself. If you wanna find me. D I V A L A C I D valacy on all platforms. If you wanna support a black queen out there. Okay. If you wanna do your activism for today. Like. Wait, I was about to say like. And subscribe. I should say YouTube. Subscribe to our show, give me five star reviews and talk about how lovely of a human being that I am. That's how you can help me. And then you help the black person. Today you get to go to bed. Like, I did it.
- [46:12]
B
I did something.
- [46:14]
A
All right, congregation, thank you.
- [46:16]
B
Lacey.
- [46:17]
A
Stay scheming. Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam got us stars and is hosted by Lacy Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming.