The Mickey D Monopolizer with Paul Scheer

Summary

Scam Goddess Podcast: "The Mickey D Monopolizer" with Paul Scheer

Date: February 11, 2020
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Paul Scheer

---

Episode Overview

This lively, comedic episode of Scam Goddess investigates the infamous McDonald's Monopoly scam, where insider Jerome "Uncle Jerry" Jacobson rigged the multi-million-dollar sweepstakes for over a decade. Comedian and actor Paul Scheer joins host Laci Mosley for a hilarious and eye-opening breakdown of one of the wildest corporate frauds in fast-food history, sharing personal scam experiences along the way and keeping the banter sharp, clever, and brutally honest.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Paul Scheer’s Introduction and Relationship to Scams

• [00:54] Laci welcomes Paul Scheer, noting his comedic pedigree and their recent collaboration.
• Conversation opens with the confusion of naming creative projects and accidental title overlap, nudging at the idea of unintentional scams in Hollywood.
• Scam Story:
  • [02:21] Paul recounts being scammed in college: a convincing man posing as Ridley Scott’s costume designer asks for $20 to get his keys, leaves with the money, and never returns ("He gave us so many random details" – Laci, [04:04]).
  • The scammer offers impromptu rollerblading tips—a detail that made him seem believable.
  • Paul sees the man scamming others multiple times and begins loudly outing him to potential victims ("I would get in there and I'd be like, liar. He's lying to you. He's making it all up" – Paul, [08:17]).
  • Laci jokes: "This is very hatery of you. ... You gotta let this man do his profession" ([08:40]).

2. Philosophy on Getting Scammed and Petty Revenge

• Laci’s Viewpoint:
  • Views small-time hustle with respect, calling these scam artists "lie prostitutes" ([10:55]).
  • She sometimes gives money even knowing it's a hustle, unless a scammer's behavior escalates.
• Paul’s Perspective:
  • Discusses the emotional impact of being tricked, and how being conned at a young age felt like a betrayal of trust and a loss of innocence ([09:55], [10:33]).
• Memorable Exchange:
  • "If you give someone money, expect to never see it again." – Laci’s mom, via Laci ([11:29]).

3. Modern "Scams": School Fairs, Hospital Bills, and Carnival Rides

• [13:10] Paul laments being scammed these days by overpriced school carnival tickets for his children ("I'm paying 20 bucks for three tickets to go on the most janky ass ride of all time" – Paul, [13:27]).
• [15:35] Laci introduces "Hot and Fried": They swap stories about hidden fees and scams at hospitals, including absurd itemized bills ("They charge you $25 for a band aid." – Laci, [15:57]).
  • Pro Tip: Always request an itemized bill to cut costs.

4. Hospital and Hotel "Scams"

• [16:23] Paul shares how his friend raids the pediatrician’s supplies for personal use.
• [18:29] Paul discusses hotel hacks, like getting pay-per-view fees removed and bribing the front desk for a room upgrade ("You pop a 20 in there and you pass it across the thing and you get a better, bigger room" – Paul, [18:58]).
• Waitstaff Tipping Scams: A friend tips $1 each time water is refilled; Laci and Paul roast the absurdity of micro-tipping.

5. The McDonald’s Monopoly Scam: The Main Event

• [24:44] Laci introduces the historical "hoodwink": the McDonald's Monopoly fraud, correcting past errors about the perpetrator's identity.
• [25:44]–[53:40] Deep dive into the scam's wild details:
  • Jerome "Uncle Jerry" Jacobson—a former cop with allergies and a failed dream—rises to security chief at Simon Marketing (makers of game pieces) and devises a plan to rig the Monopoly sweepstakes for 12 years, netting over $24 million.
  • Jacobson exploits security loopholes, swaps winning pieces in restroom stalls, and distributes them via a shady network including psychics, a chiropractor, family, a mobster named Columbo, his local butcher, and more.
  • Mob Involvement: Winners pay for pieces and give up a share of the prize to mob handlers, who launder the winnings.
  • Scammers get sloppy: family and friends recruited, word spreads, and someone (likely his stepbrother who “flushed” a million-dollar piece) tips off the FBI.
• Paul’s Commentary:
  • "Monopoly is a game for cheaters. If you play it the right way, it’s boring, it’s slow..." ([28:00]).
  • "Just be smart. No one's ever smart about the scams. And if they are smart, we haven't heard about them." ([53:27])
• Demise:
  • FBI exposes the ring in 2001. Jacobson is convicted, serves 37 months, and owes $12.5 million in restitution.
  • Laci: "This is the biggest 12 year mistake of my life." ([53:10])
  • Paul: "Why do you need more money? ... 12 years, and you just never thought to stop?" ([53:13])

6. Scammer of the Week: Scamming Trump Supporters

• [54:13] The episode honors anonymous pro-Trump PACs and Facebook pages raising tens of millions in his name—but not benefiting the campaign.
• Notable Exchange:
  • "They’re just scamming Trump supporters." – Paul, [55:00]
  • "When you pay my Blacks for Trump, you're funding vibes." – Laci, [57:20]
• The pair delight in the poetic justice of grifters conning the powerful and the gullible alike.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (With Timestamps)

• "You gotta let this man do his profession." – Laci Mosley, [08:45]
• "If I fucking saw that guy today, I would still go after him. I'm like, fuck that guy." – Paul Scheer, [12:13]
• "Monopoly is a game for cheaters...this guy knew how to get his Dodge Viper." – Paul Scheer, [28:00]
• "I have a scar from Monopoly...if you don't have a fist fight during Monopoly, you're not playing." – Laci Mosley, [28:13]
• "This is like a serial podcast away from being exposed." – Paul Scheer, [43:56]
• "Why do you need to keep on doing it? Just take that $1 million." – Paul Scheer, [50:53]
• "It’s about the high, the rush..." – Laci Mosley, [51:07]
• "Just be smart. No one’s ever smart about the scams. And if they are smart, we haven’t heard about them." – Paul Scheer, [53:27]
• "When you pay my Blacks for Trump, you're funding vibes." – Laci Mosley, [57:20]

---

Important Segments with Timestamps

• Paul's NYU scam story: [02:21]–[12:13]
• School fairs, hospital & hotel scams: [13:10]–[21:53]
• Main McDonald's Monopoly scam segment: [24:44]–[53:40]
• Scammer of the Week – Scamming Trump campaign: [54:13]–[57:47]

---

Episode Tone and Language

This episode crackles with wit, quick comedic timing, and shadily reverent energy for the clever (if not quite ethical) grifter. Laci and Paul riff seamlessly, with Laci’s "scam-positive" lens often balancing Paul’s more righteous or indignant reactions. The language is chummy, breezy, packed with zingers, pop culture nods, and a healthy dose of real-life wisdom about how scams (large and small) intersect with daily life.

---

Recap & Takeaway

Listeners are treated to an inside look at one of America’s greatest food frauds—equal parts thriller, farce, and warning. Through personal stories and historic case study, Laci and Paul question authority, celebrate survival instincts, and illustrate that in scams, as in life, the real losses are in getting greedy... or getting caught.

As always: "Stay schemin’!"

Transcript

[Lacey Mosley]

Scams C, Robbery and Frauds. Scams C, Robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's poppin, Congregation? It's YA girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. And I'm back for another installment of the episode. It's Black History Month. And I did say we was only gonna have black guests during, but y' all can pretend that Paul is black. He is on Black Monday.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

So you know what? With a lot of blacks. A lot of blacks on that show. And he's the host of how did this Get Made? Which is a hilarious, amazing podcast also on the Earwolf Network. Ooh, can't talk today, honey. And unspooled. It's not unspooled, guys. So this is Paul Scheer.

[Paul Scheer]

Hi. How are you? I'm very happy to be here.

[Lacey Mosley]

Paul produced a project that I worked on recently.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, it's gonna come soon. There is not a name for it yet. So we got into this situation where we did this show, and it's called Scroll Wheel of Time because it's, like, based on an old school ipod. And then after we kind of finished the show, we realized that there is a giant property, like Lord of the Rings style thing called Scroll Wheel of Time or something like that.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, it's very close to the same name.

[Paul Scheer]

So Amazon is releasing that as a giant series. So our title just was almost the exact same title. So now we have to, like, run the gauntlet, and people are testing it out. I think last time. There's a few on the table. They're all. They're fine. I think it. I don't know what it is right now. I have it in an email. I could tell you.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, it'll be good. It will be coming out, and it'll be good.

[Lacey Mosley]

The deadlines came out at the same time. I think it was like. And that was very confusing because they were like this show and also this show with the same name, but different people. And people kept looking up the other one and sending it to me and congratulating me, and I was like, I'm not that white lady.

[Paul Scheer]

No, no. It's a tricky. And yeah. And I feel like I just heard that that show had problems and they shut down. So right now we do have a little bit of lead time. So I think we should get out there and just take the name. Yeah, take that name back.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's a scam that I am for Paul. What's your relationship with scams?

[Paul Scheer]

You see?

[Lacey Mosley]

Have you been scammed?

[Paul Scheer]

I have a good scam story. So I was going to nyu and I came from a pretty, like, safe suburban lifestyle. Like now I would.

[Lacey Mosley]

What city are you from in Long Island?

[Paul Scheer]

I was like, from like Huntington Northport, like, like that area. But I spent a lot of my time in the city with my dad. My dad lived in Queens and I worked in the Bronx with my dad every weekend and all summer long. So I was like in the Bronx with my dad. And I felt like I was aware, but I also still had like my like suburban naivete.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right.

[Paul Scheer]

And when I went to NYU one day I was out in front of the building that I was staying in my dorm building. And this guy came up to me and he was a very meek looking guy and he was crying and he just looked scattered and upset a little bit like Spike Jones. Like, picture what Spike Jones looks like.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, like a little wavy, sad man.

[Paul Scheer]

Very wavy, sad man. And he's like, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. I am a costume designer for Ridley Scott and I. I have his. I. I'm doing a costume fitting and I'm supposed to be down here in downtown to do it. But I left my. The keys to my car in my apartment and. But to get into the place I need to get is. It's here. But I need to get back up there and I need a train. I need to get up there in a train because I have to do this in an hour. This sob story of basically, like, he needed to get keys to get into this place. And look, I'm looking at this guy, he's freaking out. And I was like, oh my God. Like, yeah, of course I'm gonna help you. Ridley Scott, costume designer.

[Lacey Mosley]

He gave us so many random details.

[Paul Scheer]

So many, so many random details. And I believe at this point in my life, like, me and my friends were also all like rollerblading out on like, Fifth Avenue where we. That was where our dorm building was. And we were all learning how to roll.

[Lacey Mosley]

You were rollerblading?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

You were very privileged. If you're rollerblading in New York, he's like, this guy'.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, this is at a certain point too where everyone was like, rollerblades. It's cool, right? We're all in on that.

[Lacey Mosley]

Do you have knee pads on? Do you have elbow pads?

[Paul Scheer]

You know, I once, I mean, I scammed somebody one time where I told them I could rollerblade. I did not know how to rollerblade, even though I was out in front trying. And I had to rollerblade around New York City. And all I did was hide out all day and collect my $25 an hour. But he was so nice. And he even, like, gave us some rollerblading tips. And we were so like, this guy's the best.

[Lacey Mosley]

He was not in a hurry, it seems like. I thought he was in a hurry.

[Paul Scheer]

He was, but he was like, oh, you guys, rollerblade. I know how to rollerblade. And he just gave us, like. It wasn't like. It wasn't like a long lesson, but it was like a sweet moment. And so I gave him 20 bucks. And my friend gave him 20 bucks. And he's like, all right, this is where. Where's your dorm? I'm like, this is my dorm. He's like, I'm gonna come here. He wrote down our. Our room number. He's like, I'll just put the $20.

[Lacey Mosley]

You gave him your address?

[Paul Scheer]

Well. Cause we were in front of the building, and I was like, he was gonna put it back in our mailbox. I was like, yeah, of course. Twenty bucks. So it never came. The 20. Of course. Of course. Right? And so then you saw him doing

[Lacey Mosley]

it again, didn't you?

[Paul Scheer]

I saw him doing it again, and it became this, like, legend of this guy. Cause everyone got scammed by this guy. So when I saw him doing it again, I literally was like. I was like, you. And I yelled real loud and very aggressive. Not me at all. And he turned and like, you fucking took my money. And then. And he was like, what? I know. I don't know what you're talking about. I was like. And so me and my friend, like, confronted him. Different friend. He was also scammed by him, not with me. So we both, like, we both surround him. And again, wayfish dude. Two guys that are basically freshmen in college. So I feel like we have an energy that is probably a little bit more aggressive as I am now older and I look at, like, kids in high school. I'm like, oh, they're scary to me. But. But so we.

[Commercial Announcer]

We.

[Paul Scheer]

We kind of move.

[Lacey Mosley]

You beat this man up over 40 miles.

[Paul Scheer]

We got in there and then all of a sudden his muscle came out from behind a phone booth. Like this giant mountain of a man who was like, oh, clearly this is like a two man operation. And this guy came out and was like. And just got in the. Like, this guy was the scariest looking dude. I just remember being eye level at his peck. That's about how high I was.

[Lacey Mosley]

Damn.

[Paul Scheer]

And I was like, oh.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Terry Crews came out and.

[Paul Scheer]

And I was like, oh. And he's like, can I Help you guys? And we're like, nope. And we left. So then cut to, like, four years later, see this guy again, same area, working pretty much Fifth Avenue from 10th all the way to park in, like, 23rd, like, which is not in New York City, not that big of an area. And I see him again, and this time now it's been years later, and he looks worse for wear. Like, this is. He's running the same scam now, and

[Lacey Mosley]

this must be exhausting. You got to cry every day on cue. Several times a day. You got to give people rollerblading tips. You know, it's wild, though. You probably were lucky that you were in college, because if he asked for your address, what if they was just gonna hit your house? They pull up and rob?

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, the only benefit is that apartment buildings in New York, I feel like, are harder. Like, at that point, I had nothing. But you're right. Like, if I. And now that I have things, I don't give up my addresses willingly. But now that I have these, before,

[Lacey Mosley]

I was like, sure, could.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, what did I have? I had, like, a computer from, like, Radio Shack in my. So. But, yeah, so then I saw him, and this is the way I got my revenge on him. I got my revenge on him three more times in my life.

[Lacey Mosley]

You are petty. Leave this man alone.

[Paul Scheer]

No, I have to go after him.

[Lacey Mosley]

You are very Remy Ma. This is very Remy Ma. Okay? We are not shooting people over small amounts of money, Paul.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, here's the thing. You did your duties like, so. What I. What I did was, every time I saw him, I would be like this. I. Liar. He's a liar. Just say it as loud as I could to whoever he was.

[Lacey Mosley]

And you don't think you look crazy on the street?

[Paul Scheer]

No, because then people would, like, walk away. Because they would be like, oh, right. Cause it's like, oh, you did it

[Lacey Mosley]

in the middle of his hustle. Okay.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, yes. Oh, yeah. Not just. Like, I just bumped. No, no, no. I wasn't just, like, following a random man around the street. Like, whenever I saw him doing his hustle, I would get in there and I'd be like, liar. He's lying to you. He's making it all up. He's gonna take your money. And then I would watch, and that was the vindication I did. So I did that three times.

[Lacey Mosley]

Now, Paul, I have to say, this is very hatery of you.

[Paul Scheer]

Is it?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

Why is it hatery of me?

[Lacey Mosley]

Cause you gotta let this man do his profession. Okay?

[Paul Scheer]

I was under 21 years old. This man's taking $20 to me under 21 years old was like $500. Like, that was a lot of fucking money.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay, let's put it this way.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, I was on a meal plan,

[Lacey Mosley]

let's say, you know, we all were. Listen, $20 used to get me hyped too. I don't know how I would make $20 last week.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, like, 20 bucks. I could be like. I could get a Subway sandwich. I could cut that in half. I could have two different meals. I could split that on different days. Like, shit. Was working on $20.

[Lacey Mosley]

Listen. All right, but here's the thing, though. Whether he is the costume designer for Ridley or not.

[Paul Scheer]

No, no, no. Don't say whether he is clearly not the costume designer for Ridley Scott.

[Lacey Mosley]

Whether he is or not, Paul.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, man.

[Lacey Mosley]

You work on CEO 20 again. Either way.

[Paul Scheer]

I know, I know. But then why do I have to make. Why would I let anybody else get scammed?

[Lacey Mosley]

It's like a GoFundMe. Like, whether the little baby gets the new legs or not.

[Paul Scheer]

Look, if he came up to me and asked me. If he came up to me and asked me for 20 bucks, I would have more respect for it. And I would give. I give money. I'll give money to you.

[Lacey Mosley]

I don't know if you give money, Paul. Cause you dedicated a good portion of your life.

[Paul Scheer]

I felt tricked. I felt tricked. I felt lied to. I don't like that. I think that that's like. I don't like when people are not on the level like that. To me, I'm like, it will like, that, like, rubs me the wrong way in a way that is like, I will give money. I will, like, I will do things. I am. I will put myself out there. But when I feel like. When I feel like I got like. Like that, like, conned. And also, we're talking about a younger me. Me now. I wouldn't.

[Lacey Mosley]

You now just giving out $20. Like.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, me now. It would be a whole different thing. Like, it would just be like a. It was, I think, the first moment of feeling like this is the first time I got, like, scammed. Like, you know, like, whoa, the city's a terrible place.

[Lacey Mosley]

New York City, a bad place.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, exactly. Which was kind of amazing to me. Then the second time when his muscle came out and I was like, oh. Like, where are we gonna get fucked up? So then it was like, a little bit of fear. And then those three next times were me just kind of trying to razz him. I didn't Follow.

[Lacey Mosley]

That didn't deter you though. And also like, what if.

[Paul Scheer]

Cause I never stopped walking.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, the first time I confronted him.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, the first time I confronted him.

[Lacey Mosley]

Cause what if this man is like a lie prostitute, you know what I mean? Like, what if he goes out and he do the lie ho and he makes the money and then the muscle beats him at night? Oh, you know, you don't know.

[Paul Scheer]

I definitely believe there is some fucked up relationship with that guy and the two guys. There's totally a fucked up relationship there. And also just getting, I mean, getting 20s was just a big deal. I mean, I also was in college a long time ago, so we gotta

[Lacey Mosley]

count inflation in on that.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm just saying there's a lot of shit going on there. I haven't been that petty. You're right. Like I'm. I normally if someone asked me to borrow money, I give them money. I don't expect it back. I live.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's how you got to do it. My mom always said, if you give someone money, expect to never see it again. So don't ever give more money than you would expect. Like, if you give the money and then the next time you see them, you like, oh, where you get that Starbucks from? You got money for Starbucks? You ain't got money for me? Like, that's too much.

[Paul Scheer]

No, even like. But my mom moved out here to la and like, my mom's always like, I'm gonna pay you back, I'm gonna pay you back. I'll get this. I'm like, I don't know, right? I'm like, I'm not, I'm not in this game of like, pay it back or do anything like that. I like just being like. I mean, not that I'm asking my mom for money, but it is like. But like, my mom is so.

[Lacey Mosley]

Paul, you seem a little petty.

[Commercial Announcer]

You might.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, man, you're really holding me down to this 20 year old version of Merry Christmas. It's like two decades ago.

[Lacey Mosley]

So how you doing? So how you doing? Yeah, you got some new backpacks.

[Paul Scheer]

But by the way, if I fucking saw that guy today, I would still go after him. I'm like, fuck that guy.

[Lacey Mosley]

I appreciate the dedication, but have you

[Paul Scheer]

ever gotten scammed like that?

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, I've had that exact same scam

[Paul Scheer]

happen to me and if you saw that person, you'd be like, good on you.

[Lacey Mosley]

I saw it several times and I saw her shaking people down and I was like, good for you, sis. Like, she was doing the gas. Like, I just need money. For gas.

[Paul Scheer]

So I can.

[Lacey Mosley]

Because my mom in the hospital, but my daughter at daycare scam.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

I went to the ATM and got her some money. The only reason that I don't fuck with her is because I heard on my school campus blotter that she has started beating people up.

[Paul Scheer]

See, this is the shit. This is what I'm saying. I believe now that you just said that to me. I went to the ATM too. It may have been more than 40. It may have been more than 20 bucks. Because now that I'm remembering it, we went to an ATM and that's how we learned about the rollerblading stuff. It's all coming back to me again.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. Cause that's why he had to entertain y' all on the walk.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, man. Look, you know, but no, but that's my. I mean, look, every now and then I'll get caught up in stuff. I'm vulnerable and I want to believe. I want to believe and I want to make sure that I want to.

[Lacey Mosley]

Well, then it's fun. You had a good time.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. Now my opinion about it is very different. Now I get scammed in a different way, which is like, now I just dump tons of money into, like, I went to this school fair. My kids go to public school and they have like these school fairs all the time. Spend a 20 bucks.

[Lacey Mosley]

Those are a scam.

[Paul Scheer]

Those are a tremendous scan. I'm paying 20 bucks for three tickets to go on the most janky ass ride of all time. Like, I spent 100 bucks on rides for my two kids. And it was this like, one was a bounce castle for three minutes. It's four tickets operated by children.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, that's what I love about any, like Six Flags or whatever is like, literally you're putting your life in like, Kyle's hands.

[Paul Scheer]

I signed a fucking release to this girl. Like, I signed a release. I'm like. I go. And I said to her, go, is it dangerous? And she goes, well, that's why you signed the release. I'm like, that's not an answer. I have a five year old that's gonna jump into like a foam thing. I was like, don't do that.

[Commercial Announcer]

But.

[Lacey Mosley]

Well, that's why you signed the release.

[Paul Scheer]

I know.

[Lacey Mosley]

And I feel like, yeah, your baby might die, but now that we have this piece of paper, it's not on us. That is the perfect answer.

[Paul Scheer]

How terrible would it be if my child died at a carnival ride? Because he was like, dad, it's three tickets. I wanna go on the frozen bouncy castle. My kid died in the frozen bouncy castle.

[Lacey Mosley]

If your kid died in the frozen bouncy castle. Honestly, like, that'. How you dying in there? Like, that's a lot.

[Paul Scheer]

I had to sign this release. Jump off the frozen bouncing. It's not like it was branded by Disney, right? It wasn't like Disney made it. It was like somebody just.

[Lacey Mosley]

It was called Chili. And it was like they had Elise. They had Elise. Chili.

[Paul Scheer]

Do you want to build a snow person?

[Lacey Mosley]

Right? They said, we're doing that for inclusivity. We're going to a snow person, not a snowman. No, these are bootlegs. This is a bootleg frozen castle. Yeah, it's called Chili. All right, we'll be right back after this par of non scam advertisements. Scams, huns. All right, guys. And we're back. And we're just now getting to Hot and Fried.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. I'm very. You got me all these.

[Lacey Mosley]

You are real worked up.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm ready to go.

[Lacey Mosley]

I love it. I love it. So today in Hot and Fried, I talked about this on another podcast. But just in case you haven't, you know, you don't listen to.

[Paul Scheer]

If you're not following you around all your podcast appearances. How dare you.

[Lacey Mosley]

You know, you're lost.

[Paul Scheer]

You didn't overhear this at a conversation that you had at dinner last night. How dare you Liter.

[Lacey Mosley]

But, guys, this is a real gym. Hospital scams.

[Paul Scheer]

Ooh, this is interesting. My mom is a president of hospitals, and she is in the middle of a hospital scam right now.

[Lacey Mosley]

Damn.

[Paul Scheer]

Because she came to a hospital that's kind of, like, fucked up. And she's like, they're running majors. She's like, never get sick at Blank Hospital out here in Los Angeles. And she told me some.

[Lacey Mosley]

Wait, I can't know which one.

[Paul Scheer]

We can't tell you. I'll tell you off air. I'll tell you off here. Because I feel like that could be a lawsuit.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay, well, you know, I'mma tell y'. All at least when you go to the hospital, you know, it's always under duress. Not great circumstances. Nobody wants to be in the hospital. But we've recently learned that, like, when you get a bill from a hospital, that they are just adding in random ass charges. They charge you $25 for a band aid. They like, when I tell you, if you ask a hospital, y' all ask them for an itemized bill, your bill will go down exponentially.

[Paul Scheer]

That's very, very smart. I will tell you this. I Have a friend. We, you know, have kids. We go to the pediatrician, and when we go there, she does this. Not me. Raids the pediatricians. Like, everything. The Band Aids, the cotton balls, the everything. Just puts them in a purse because it doesn't make a difference to them. They don't know. And, you know, that's a great way to kind of stock up on your own house stuff.

[Lacey Mosley]

It is. You should definitely raid everywhere that offers anything free.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, just open up those cabinets. Do those cabinets have a. As long as they're not locked. They're. That. That's an entry point.

[Lacey Mosley]

Also, when the nurse leaves to go check your stuff, my good sister's in there just opening all the cabinet suppressors for days.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. Bring a bag. You're not stealing anything. I'm not saying steal, like, the thing that puts in your ear or anything like that, but just steal it.

[Lacey Mosley]

Don't steal the hardware, but do steal the band Aids, the cotton rounds.

[Paul Scheer]

I will tell you one thing, that was amazing. So I'm in, like, these unions, like the WGA and all that sort of stuff and the. And SAG or whatever. And when we had a baby, we got a hospital bill back. Zero. Zero dollars. Zero. It was crazy. I never got that before. Baby. Zero bucks.

[Lacey Mosley]

And babies are like eight G. I know.

[Paul Scheer]

Zero.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's wild.

[Paul Scheer]

I was a pretty. That was like the best hospital bill I've ever gotten. I get like. I'm like, being hounded by hospital bills, like, for like, literally $5. Like, you know, like, oh, you have to pay that thing. I was like, 60 day notice. You're fine. I'll get this to you. You'll get the. Get like three.

[Lacey Mosley]

And they'll go hit your credit if you don't give them that.

[Paul Scheer]

I know, I know.

[Lacey Mosley]

They said we want five on it now. No, no, Tevin.

[Paul Scheer]

They're like me chasing that guy down the street.

[Lacey Mosley]

And they're petty. The hospital is petty. They will ruin your life. But guys, check, ask for an item because they won't send you an itemized. And then they'll be like, okay, we got the walk into the hospital fee. We got the light fee, we got the bed sitting fee. Like, you know, match mattress rotation fee.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, let me ask you this.

[Lacey Mosley]

They're making it up.

[Paul Scheer]

Don't they deserve it?

[Lacey Mosley]

Hell no. Hell no.

[Paul Scheer]

You go to a hotel, you gotta. You have the mini bar charges. You got that?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. But that's if you choose to partake in the mini bar pile you got.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, if I need a band aid, I'm Choosing to partake. And I need that band aid.

[Lacey Mosley]

The band aid is the mini bar of hospital.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. I'm saying if I got a pay per view movie, I'm choosing to partake in it. I did hear that. I read a great book about when you stay at hotels, two things to do. Tell me if you think this is right or wrong. Never pay for a pay per view movie. Just tell them it just cut out in the middle of it. They don't care at the front desk. They're not making any money off of it. So they always cut it off. So just like, oh, just cut out. And they'll be. And you don't have to. And you just. And you're Period, like, oh, cut off period. They'll just take it off your thing. You don't have to come up with a giant, big excuse about it.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay. I don't have to say that I'm somebody's costume designer.

[Paul Scheer]

No, no, no. You just, like, you just kind of give it. And then this is the thing that I've done a handful of times. And don't think it. I don't know how it works. When you check in and you give your ID, you pop a 20 in there and you pass it across the thing and you get a better, bigger room.

[Lacey Mosley]

Ooh, yes. I bet it does work.

[Paul Scheer]

It's two times. I've definitely seen a giant upgrade. The other time, I just felt like the money was taken. Not like, oh, what is this? It was like, this is a normal transaction. I don't know what the other rooms were, but two times, it really paid off, I guess.

[Lacey Mosley]

But you've done it.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, I've done it. You just can't do it in small hotels. Because small hotels, like, they're like. It's a. You know, it's a.

[Lacey Mosley]

They don't give a fuck.

[Paul Scheer]

It's a doubletree. It's like they're all the same.

[Lacey Mosley]

You trying to slide a 20 at the Hilton Garden Inn? Do your thing, bro. I get this money very badly, but I have nothing for you. Like, you want a cot. You want a cot in your room? I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, handshakes at hotels are a thing. Also at restaurants. It's very cute. You can do it at restaurants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's always a restaurant. There's always a table. We everybody at everybody restaurant lying.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, I was with the person who did the craziest thing on tipping in a restaurant, which he and I had never called him out on, would tip every Time the water glass is filled.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, my God, those are sociopaths. I hate those people.

[Paul Scheer]

What does that mean?

[Lacey Mosley]

Sometimes water isn't even the waiter's responsibility. Like, also, like, what are you playing God? Like, I mean, what are we doing?

[Paul Scheer]

Why are we breaking down the service that much? Like, you know, like, I trust that the money I'm leaving for Tiff is gonna go into a bigger pool that's cheap as hell.

[Lacey Mosley]

Also, I love something about it. He's like, oh, they brought our food. Here you go. $2. You gonna work your way up to that 20. Like, if you leave some shit off, you just don't get the rest. I love that. Some people just are way too involved in restaurants. I hated being a waiter because I had to be nice to people all the time, which is very exhausting for me. Like, I am nice, but you have to be. Like, I worked at a high end restaurant where I had, like, a passing familiarity with Japanese and kiss everybody's ass and everybody was rude. And, like, then you get. Wait, you get. People go out so much to dinner that they just want to be entertained by you. And I'm like, that's not my job.

[Paul Scheer]

That's not your job.

[Lacey Mosley]

So where you from? Like, peace, the kitchen, as far as you need to know. Like, you don't need to know where I'm from. Like, oh, my God, I hate it so much.

[Paul Scheer]

But, guys, do you know any Japanese? Could you say arigato Gozaimasu?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, gozaimasu. Yeah, that means check, please. So. But hospitals, guys, so get those itemized bills because they charging you too much. If you get the itemized bill at the hospital, they might just be like, okay, what you got on you?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, right. I mean, look, I think that honestly, every bill is open to a fight.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, you know, like, I mean, every

[Lacey Mosley]

bill is open to a fight.

[Paul Scheer]

I think you can always, like, as my wife always says, I think we need to sharpen our pencils on this one.

[Lacey Mosley]

Our pencils?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. She goes, let's sharpen our pencils on this. And then people are like, all right, that's sweet. And then they knock it down a little bit.

[Lacey Mosley]

Not even knives out. She's like, pencils out?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

She's like, erasers up.

[Paul Scheer]

Let's bring out those pencils. Let's knock down this price.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. It's like, okay, so how much do you have on you at the moment? I have 20. You know what? That's actually what your bill costs. Get out of here.

[Paul Scheer]

All people want is that 20 bucks and get out of there. Go back to that.

[Lacey Mosley]

Let's forget about this whole thing.

[Paul Scheer]

Just get that Ridley Scott costume department. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

And also, like, I feel like it would be fun to ask for a printout right in front of you because you know they gotta go delete the bullshit charges. Sleep, like, oh, taking so long. Why you hit that backspace so many times.

[Paul Scheer]

But I mean, here's the thing I'm a big believer in when it's not a mom and pop store, who gives a fuck? Because it's like they don't care that that 20, that band aids money is not going into anyone's pocket. It's going into, like, the big hospital,

[Lacey Mosley]

the corporate machine, which we're all paying way too much for healthcare anyway, so welcome. Yeah, guys.

[Paul Scheer]

Exactly.

[Lacey Mosley]

All right, guys.

[Paul Scheer]

That's why I'm Tom Steyer all the way. 2020.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm leaving. See, you can't do that during Black History Month, Paul. Okay? We voted for Tom and we are not voting for Pete. The negroes have spoken. Okay? As far as I'm concerned, Bernie and Elizabeth are only two people left in the race. And I've said this, and we just had a final rose ceremony. Let's go to the fantasy suites.

[Paul Scheer]

Let's do this. Let's get it done, people. Why are we still. Why are people still in this? Yang, Take a hint. Go. Bye.

[Lacey Mosley]

I don't know who keeps inviting Andrew Yang to things. He's like that friend who gets invited and I'm like, how are you? Who invited you?

[Paul Scheer]

Why are you still here? Clearly it's like, what are we doing? All you're doing is wasting, like, you're showing me that you're wasting money. You're just saying, like, going to stay here even though there's no chance.

[Lacey Mosley]

There's no chance that you'll be president. And you have to know that I hope no one's listening at the next debate. They just need to have a lever and just start pulling it and the Candace should drop through the floor like

[Paul Scheer]

those, like, crazy, like, game shows that are on the NBC. Like, just throw like big giant balls at the knock them off perches. But it is. It's crazy to me. It's crazy.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay, but guys, it's time for the historic hoodwink.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

And if you listen to the pilot, then you have heard of this before. But it's coming back around, guys, because in the pilot I said that this man was black. He's not black. Guys, I'm not a journalist. I've said this many times before. Okay, we make mistakes on this podcast. We try not to. We make corrections.

[Paul Scheer]

Why do we need all the facts? Why do we need all the facts?

[Lacey Mosley]

Do you even want all the facts?

[Paul Scheer]

Because you're gonna forget them. You're gonna be at some party, you're gonna be telling the story, you're gonna get half of them wrong. It's a game of telephone. All right? Listen, as long as you remember the big things, you're fine.

[Lacey Mosley]

And here's the gripe that I have is that I know people get all up in your clit about podcast accuracy.

[Paul Scheer]

Always.

[Lacey Mosley]

Because you guys want to go to parties. You don't want to have to do the work yourself. So you want me to tell you the truth so that you can go to the party and talk about it.

[Paul Scheer]

That's what you get for not reading. If you read, you'd remember. If you trust the podcast, it serves you right. Okay? It serves you right.

[Lacey Mosley]

You can try. Sherrilyn does her level best, guys. So she researched it this time, not me. So shout out to Sherrilyn Vera. But this is the McNopoly McScam.

[Paul Scheer]

I am fascinated about this McNopoly McCam robbery.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yes.

[Paul Scheer]

But now since you've done the pilot, there's been new information.

[Lacey Mosley]

There is new information.

[Paul Scheer]

I don't know this. All I know is that Mark Wahlberg was saying that there's new information.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. Which if Marky Mark says there's new intel, then there's new intel.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, I get all my information from Mark Wahlberg about anything.

[Lacey Mosley]

Do you know Mark Wahlberg? You famous? You could know Mark Wahlberg.

[Paul Scheer]

I worked with Mark Wahlberg.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, right. See that? I'm one degree away from Marky Mark. Did he have his shirt on in this job?

[Paul Scheer]

He did have his shirt on. And the most interesting thing about him that I thought was the coolest movie star thing that he did. And you want to talk about Scandal. Damn. He has a buddy, and I've heard this buddy is on all of his movies. And it's like. I think it's called, like, the ball handler. And so he's on all the call sheets, and he carries a ball that Mark wants to play with. So it's like a football, baseball, basketball, whatever it is. He's got one of the balls that Mark wants. And so whenever there's downtime.

[Lacey Mosley]

Basketball out.

[Paul Scheer]

So we were shooting in New Orleans in the Mercedes Dun, and we are on the basketball court. That guy had a basketball. Boom. Just a break. That ball is out. Mark is shooting baskets with this guy.

[Lacey Mosley]

He Hired someone to play with him.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. But it's kind of a great thing to be like, oh, yeah, I just want to like throw the football around. Now I got my guy who is ready to go to toss the football. And. And so I. And so I said that to somebody else and they're like, oh, yeah, why don't have some movie with him? He had a football guy. I'm like, huh? So, yeah, so he's just got a ball handler.

[Lacey Mosley]

That is fantastic. I thought you were gonna mean something different when you said ball handler.

[Paul Scheer]

No, no, no. It sounds like it could be. No, it's the moment most. It's the most like lovely, innocent thing. It's like Guy just wants to like, just play some good old fashioned ball. Yeah, just some catch.

[Lacey Mosley]

I love it.

[Paul Scheer]

Guy wants to play catch.

[Lacey Mosley]

Guy wants to play catch. Guys, Mark Wahlberg, you heard it here first.

[Paul Scheer]

It's on the call sheet. Lovely guy, nice guy.

[Lacey Mosley]

I want to be employed to just carry around a ball.

[Paul Scheer]

How great would that be? But make sure you don't fuck up.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, yeah. You gotta always be ready to play.

[Paul Scheer]

You bring a baseball and he wants to toss around the football. You know, you could get fired.

[Lacey Mosley]

You hurt your ankle? Like you out of business. I hope those ankles are insured, honey. And those wrists. But this is the story of Jerome Jacobson. Yes, Jerome Paul Jacobson, who is not black. Just gonna. Sorry, guys. It just feels like a real robbery for Black History Month. For Jerome not to be black, but he's. And they call him Uncle Jerry. Like, I was like, this guy's definitely black. Not black.

[Paul Scheer]

I gotta look at them now.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm very hung up on this. Okay, so in 1987, McDonald's launched an ingenious sweepstake based off the Monopoly game. And customers would purchase meals that included peel off game pieces on the packaging, potentially rewarding them with anything from a filet o fish to a new car to 1 million of them things. People went wild for it. And the business spiked. I did too. 40% for the fast food giant. Which kept up over the years until a man who went by Uncle Jared Jacobson, orchestrated a fraud that ran for. Listen to this, 12 years, $24 million. He was robbing Monopoly. Like, I mean, he. I love. He didn't pass go. He didn't.

[Commercial Announcer]

No.

[Paul Scheer]

But by the way, he's playing the game the way it should be played. Monopoly is a game for cheaters. It is right if you play it the right way. It's boring, it's slow. You're just collecting money On Baltic, this guy knew how to get his Dodge Viper.

[Lacey Mosley]

You are absolutely right. Monopoly is for cheaters. It tears families apart. I have a scar from monop. Because, you know, me and my cousin got to fighting as you do in Monopoly. If you don't have a fist fight during Monopoly, you're not playing.

[Paul Scheer]

No, because it lulls you into this thing where you start to just hate everybody there. And you're like, you're conning the system. It's not fun. It's not good.

[Lacey Mosley]

Nope. Because that's what capitalism is. Capitalism turns you into a monster. Therefore, Monopoly turns you into a monster. So Jerry is doing the right thing. You're absolutely right. He was born Jerome Paul Jacobson, which just sounds so black to me. But I guess he's.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, he's so white.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. He's the whitest white man. Yeah. It's so disappointing how not black he is. Every time I look at him,

[Paul Scheer]

he looks like Ethan Suplay from. From My Name is Earl.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, God. Yes. He's the whitest of the white. So Jerry was always dreaming of becoming a police officer. Whack. He was born in Ohio and moved to Miami as a teenager. Chronic allergies and a series of unlucky injuries always seem to ruin his ambitions of becoming a cop. There's Zyrtec, Bruh, if you want to become. You know, this is the kind of

[Paul Scheer]

bullshit that I always hate. It's like, well, but they had something to get over. Like, all right, you know what? We all have allergies, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, I can't believe y' all trying to make allergies this man size. I haven't.

[Paul Scheer]

I haven't, like, you know, I haven't scammed the Scattergories game over at Wendy's.

[Lacey Mosley]

Why not?

[Paul Scheer]

I should. I should.

[Lacey Mosley]

You have an itchy nose and watery eyes. Why are you not robbing them?

[Paul Scheer]

I should be robbing them.

[Lacey Mosley]

Makes sense. Adds up. So when he applied to the Marines, he was discharged from basic training. Damn. They was like, get your ass. Get your sniffly ass out of here. Damn. So in 1976, he was 1976. He was born into Florida's Hollywood Police Department. But just a year later, he injured his wrist in an altercation. And I said born, and I meant sworn in. So he.

[Paul Scheer]

I heard that, and I. I didn't want to question it because I liked the idea that he was, like, born into the police. Like. Like. Like, it was almost like a. Like some sort of a cartoon movie. Like, you know, he is, like. He just, like. He Pops out with a little badge on his body. We'll keep him. We'll raise him as one of our own.

[Lacey Mosley]

As one of our own. Why is that not a movie already? You know what? I don't need any more cop content. Thank you.

[Paul Scheer]

Cop Baby. Sequel to Boss Baby. I'm in, baby.

[Lacey Mosley]

The cop is.

[Paul Scheer]

Freeze. You're under arrest.

[Lacey Mosley]

Come here, black man. And I'm gonna kill you. Oh, that's horrible.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, man. Oh, wow.

[Lacey Mosley]

We were took that dark real fast.

[Paul Scheer]

While I say that went to that, that community fair with my kids. They have a thing. The police are out there recruiting kids. They do like kid cadet programs. You can start at five years old. Sorry, eight years old. Eight years old. And these kids are all wearing uniforms like Los Angeles Cadet. I'm like, wait a second. I don't even get my kid in a unit. No offense to any police officer. I just don't want to get them

[Lacey Mosley]

involved in offense to police over here.

[Paul Scheer]

I used to hold my kid in a uniform at 8 years old. 8 years old. You're gonna put him in a. By the way, way. I would have no confidence in the LA police if I saw an eight year old wear.

[Lacey Mosley]

I mean, I would have more confidence in the LAPD if I saw 8 year olds wearing uniforms. That's what they need to fucking hire instead of these goddamn racists that they've indoctrinated to murder more 8 year olds as cops. Please. So during a prolonged medical leave because of his wrist. You know, I imagine it's difficult to harm black people when your wrist hurts.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, it also seems like bullshit. It seems like that seems like the biggest line of bullshit.

[Lacey Mosley]

How am I gonna harass black people if I got Jacobson and he's a Florida cop? Come on, you know, he was trash. So Jacobson collapsed with severe paralysis in his arms, legs and respiratory system. That wrist thing really got out of hand. So with Jacobson unfit to return to work, the city terminated him. His police officer. Wife. His wife was also a cop. Took a leave of absent and she became his private nurse. She bathed him, massaged his muscles, fed him. She recalled.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, God. Massage his muscles. Sounds so. I mean, it sounds so disgusting to me.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's a husband, but it sounds horrible.

[Paul Scheer]

No, it sounds real like. Yeah, real sketch.

[Lacey Mosley]

So they moved to Atlanta and Marcia was offered a job as a security auditor and was assigned clients, the Dittler Brothers. She recommended her husband for a job there too. Very parasite y. I love it. But the couple constantly argued at work. And in 1983, they got a divorce.

[Paul Scheer]

Jeez. Okay, this is really upsetting to me.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Jacobson started to climb the ranks until he oversaw all the production for Dittler's culture client, Simon marketing, and their $500 million McDonald's account. Okay, so this is how he climbed his way to the top.

[Paul Scheer]

He got to the top.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. With that bad wrist and those allergies, honey.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, I'm impressed. I'm impressed. These guys are getting as far as he got.

[Lacey Mosley]

Jacob looked the part of every ex cop. He was quick with a joke, but commanded respect for his hard work and obsession with loss prevention. So he's a security guard.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, this is a thing.

[Lacey Mosley]

He felt like he was a cop.

[Paul Scheer]

Don't you feel like there is an element, like, where. Where if you just allude to the fact that you are. I mean, I am with you as far as what you were saying about police officers. I'm saying, but like, don't you think there's an energy, like, oh, you're a cop. Especially in this time where, like, he's getting a little bit like, it's almost like I'm James Bond, like, you know, it's like, oh, you used to be a cop. There's like you put them on a pedestal so you don't question them that much. Give them a little bit of leeway, so.

[Lacey Mosley]

Exactly. Cause you think like, you've hired the person who's really more.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, like, oh, you did it. You did. You were out there. Now you were. Now we got the. We got the goods.

[Lacey Mosley]

And he was discharged honorably for bad wrists. So, you know, it makes sense. So he inspected the worker's shoes to check and see if they were stealing McDonald's game pieces. One colleague said a truck driver who transported the game pieces recalled, I couldn't even go to the bathroom without somebody going with me. Impressed by Jacobson's attention to detail and police credentials, in 1988, the Simon Marketing team approached him. Jacobson locked the winning pieces in a vault behind coated keypads and dual entry lock combination. So now he probably really feels like he's in Ocean's Eleven.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, this is pretty impressive.

[Lacey Mosley]

And so he personally scissored out the high value game pieces and slipped them into the envelopes before sealing each corner with a tamper proof metallic sticker in a secret vest of his invention. Ooh. Jacobson transported the winning pieces to McDonald's factories across the country. So he was going across the country and he was flying first class. He had an auditor with him, and the auditor was a woman and this comes into play later.

[Paul Scheer]

All right. Cause kind of like the. Like. Like the translator for the parasite people.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Like, they're just always with them. There's. They're there to make sure it's all on the up and up.

[Lacey Mosley]

And he was going to Ruth Chris O. And he was ordering everything on the menu.

[Paul Scheer]

I like Ruth Chris. When they bring the steak over to you, you get to pick out on the cart, like, which one you want.

[Lacey Mosley]

You do.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, I don't know. I haven't done that in such a long time. But I remember, like, it was also, like, when I was a kid, like, I was like, whoa, this is exciting. I don't know what the things look like. So if you just show me a picture of it, it's like. It's like. It's like taking. Taking like a Cheesecake Factory menu and just, like, putting it in real life. You're like, yes, that's what nachos are. I'd like those.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right. It's also hilarious to think that a fancy restaurant is when they bring the raw meat out onto the floor.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

They roll out the nasty ramen.

[Paul Scheer]

Now that I'm thinking about it, I have not eaten at Ruth Chris. Like, but when I was there, it

[Lacey Mosley]

gets coughed on by several people on the way. Oh, God. Ruth Chris is like the McDonald's of steakhouses. Fight me, fight me.

[Paul Scheer]

No, I think you're gonna get no money fighting on that.

[Lacey Mosley]

So in order to steal the game pieces, he would go into a stall and take the seal off.

[Paul Scheer]

Remember, he's wearing this. The seal is like. It's a special seal. So if you break it, it shows up, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. Okay, but who's checking to see if it's broken other than him?

[Paul Scheer]

Right.

[Lacey Mosley]

And who's got more seals?

[Paul Scheer]

He's got more seals. This guy's figured it out. You be the person who makes the seals, and then you can take off the seals. All right. I like this.

[Lacey Mosley]

So he would go into the stall, because this is where the auditor couldn't follow him. Cause he man. And she was a woman. He would take the stick.

[Paul Scheer]

Wait, wait. Do you think that the auditor could follow him if it was a man?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Into the bathroom?

[Lacey Mosley]

Hell yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

Wow.

[Lacey Mosley]

Okay, I'll be there. Looking at. I'd be like, two shakes.

[Commercial Announcer]

That's it.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's all you get. Put that dick away. We gotta get to the Monopoly's headquarters. I would be real pressed. Nah, I wouldn't be pressed. I would help him steal. I'm not a hater. I feel Like I would just let him steal. But so he would go into the stall, he'd take off the seal, and then he'd put the winning game piece in his hand and replace it with one of the copies commons, you know,

[Paul Scheer]

so like a fry all got the,

[Lacey Mosley]

that we all got. Then he would reseal the envelope. First he stole a million. The first thing he stole was a $1 million instant win game piece and locked it in a safety deposit box.

[Paul Scheer]

Got it.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Jacobson was also seeing a psychic.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh boy.

[Lacey Mosley]

And often excused himself from work saying, I think she needs to tell me something. His psychic. One psychic received a $50,000 game piece in exchange for chiropractic services. And fortunately telling he did both. So the psychic was also a chiropractor.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean this is so this is. I mean, of course, of course, of course.

[Lacey Mosley]

I see you pain in your future.

[Paul Scheer]

You gotta have multiple gigs if you're pulling this off.

[Lacey Mosley]

Also, chiropractors are con artists. Cuz nobody hears the thing about a chiropractor. You don't go to the chiropractor and get adjusted. And then you're like, ooh, I'm good. Let me live my life. No, now you got to go in that bitch every week and let them snap, crackle and pop on your ass. It's a scam.

[Paul Scheer]

I got scammed. I got scammed by that one one recently. It's, there's like a, like a walk in chiropractor place. It's like, it's almost like McDonald's of chiropractor. It's like you go in there and like you like, it's the worst. And I, and I, and it felt good when I went there. He's like, you want to send for a package? Like, yeah, a package. And then use like one. I used one. I didn't go back.

[Lacey Mosley]

Never get a package at the chiropractor. They're like, you will never get well here.

[Paul Scheer]

That is not our object thing. It's, they don't.

[Lacey Mosley]

So for some reason he had a psychic and chiropractor and he gave him $50,000 game piece. Jacobson privately handed a million dollar token to his stepbrother and his, his brother told him like, do something with it. And this is what Bron says in the documentary. Okay, he said, I took it and I flushed it down the toilet. What? What? So, okay, so, okay, so your family can't win if you work at Monopoly. So this is a stepbrother, different last name, perfect person to test this on, right? Game piece to his brother. And his brother flushed it.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, cuz he's like, nervous. It's like you just gave him, like, contraband. Like, don't you feel like, look, that's a move that I would make because I think, all right, now I'm. Now I'm complicit. It's like why everyone flushes coke down the toilet. Doesn't that a whole thing? And people flushing coke. You got to get out, get it out, get it out, get it out, get it.

[Lacey Mosley]

No, I. I wholeheartedly disagree with this. I would have cashed that thing in so fast.

[Paul Scheer]

No, because what if you cash it in and. And they go, we know you stole this, and then you go to jail.

[Lacey Mosley]

Uh, I would have been like, my

[Paul Scheer]

brother, you are complicit. You're complicit. You know your brother works for McDonald's.

[Lacey Mosley]

I would have been like, Listen, I love McDonald's. I'd be like, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. I'd go, every day I'm loving it. This is legit, okay. No, I wouldn't have flushed it. Hell no. I'mma at least try. So Jacobson had a chance encounter with a man named Jerry Columbo, which is just the most modern name. That's Ethan's play guy, who was reportedly related to the Columbo crime family. I feel like if your name is Columbo, there should just be cops sitting outside your house every day.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Or. Yeah. I mean, look, the ultimate Colombo Columbo. Peter Falk is. Is a kind of a private investigator too.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's like, you can't have a name Colombo and not do crimes. That's just in your blood. So the strangers got to chatting at an Atlanta airport in Columbus. Colombo mentioned he was on his way to Atlantic City. He unzipped his carry on to reveal stacks of hundred dollar bills. You know how you go to Atlantic City?

[Paul Scheer]

Got to go with Hondas.

[Lacey Mosley]

Also, like, why are you flying to Atlanta City? Just go to Vegas.

[Paul Scheer]

Go to Vegas. Why. Why would you. Why would you waste time? Atlantic City's. I mean, look, no offense to the people there, but it's a garbage town.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's just so fucking great.

[Paul Scheer]

Sandwiches. Garbage town.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's.

[Paul Scheer]

It really is depressing. Like, I went there to do a show and I was like, oh, oh. But my mom would go there all the time with her husband. And I'm like, I guess there's something fun there. I don't know. I never found the joy of Atlantic City.

[Lacey Mosley]

I walked into a casino and everybody in the casino was on the slats with oxygen tanks. I've never seen so many people on oxygen tanks playing the slots. I was like, this is so depressing.

[Paul Scheer]

Have you done an episode on those machines?

[Lacey Mosley]

Not yet, but that's.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, I love them. I want to understand that. Especially the electronic ones like that. How is that not incredibly rigged? It's electronic.

[Lacey Mosley]

It is, but, you know, we persist. Casinos are scams. So anyway, Columbo would recruit winners who paid Jacobson for a game piece as much as $50,000 for a $1 million.

[Paul Scheer]

So I'm paying 50,000 to get a million.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

That's a good bargain.

[Lacey Mosley]

Which. That's an insane bargain. I guess it's because of the risk that you're taking.

[Paul Scheer]

Well, that's why that guy flushed down the toilet.

[Lacey Mosley]

But without Jacobson's participation, Colombo also had these people give them half of their prize money. So Jacobson was getting 50 grand. Colombo was taking half of your earnings.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, he's in the mob. No, here's, here's the thing which I like about this. Just from a standpoint of this, you're not scamming McDonald's in the sense that McDonald's is going to give out a million dollars. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

They're going to give money away anyway.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. So they're just redistributing how that money is. It's not, it's. Yeah, I think that. So that's like a brilliant scam in the sense that. No, there's no, like, there's no, like. Oh, that's weird because they know it's going out there.

[Lacey Mosley]

Exactly. And Jacobson slipped Colombo a gang piece for a brand new Dodge Viper instead of the sports car. He took the money and gave Jacobson 2000 dol. So, like, you had the option too. Like if you didn't want the Viper, you could be like, just give me the cash for the Viper. Which. Who wants a Viper?

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, I mean, look, I mean, and at that point, maybe, I don't know.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Jacobson's local butcher in Atlanta had heard that he was in charge of the McDonald's prizes and said that he would like to win. The butcher offered a distant friend to claim $10,000 prize and gave Jacobson 2,000 for the stolen ticket. I love that the butcher's involved. This is his butcher. Right. Jacobson befriended Dwight Baker, a real estate developer. Well, respected member of the Mormon Church, honey. And devoted father of five. Jacobson gave him a million dol piece that he sold for $100,000. So now he's got Joseph Smith's people.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

In on the crime, Robin Columbo's wife introduced Columbo to her friend Gloria Brown at an Applebees, which is definitely a place that crime is discussed. Most crime plans are hashed at Applebee's or Chili's. So Brown handed Colombo $40,000 in cash, and he showed her a tiny bottle containing a million dollar game piece. And then he said, I let you.

[Paul Scheer]

Tiny bottle. What was it like? Is it kind of like an airplane bottle? Like with, like, with like a ship in the bottle, but just like a little boardwalk thing?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, like what the hell? And why? So maybe. Yeah, you gotta break it to get the piece out. I'm so confused, by the way.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm also a little bit confused because. Or am I, Am I right or wrong in understanding that you were just giving game pieces? They weren't like, attached to the cup? Because now I feel like they're attached to the cup. Like, they're like, they're on it. You have to peel it off.

[Lacey Mosley]

They were attached to it, to the cup.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

So it's just like. But once you peel it off, you have it.

[Paul Scheer]

Got it.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's not attached anymore.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay. Okay. So they. So they don't even care that it was missing. It wasn't like they had to deliver the cup.

[Lacey Mosley]

No, you don't have to deliver the cup.

[Paul Scheer]

So you just got it. Yeah, okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

Exactly. So soon the winners had to create fake lives in other states and travel there to win because it was starting to look suspicious that everybody was coming

[Paul Scheer]

out of the fake state.

[Lacey Mosley]

Of course. So it's like, okay, move to this new city. You are now Ridley's costume designer and

[Paul Scheer]

I got a brand new Dodge Viper. But it is, it's like this is only a scam that you could pull off in this time. Right?

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah.

[Paul Scheer]

Because like all social media, we would find out Google search. This is. Yeah, this is like a serial podcast away from being exposed.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. So this temporarily ended when Columbo died in a car accident in 1998.

[Paul Scheer]

Was it a car accident or was it a mob hit?

[Lacey Mosley]

I don't know. Was it one of those accidents where you turn your car on and it blows up?

[Paul Scheer]

Blows up casino style.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's a car accident.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Jacobson replaced him, but someone called the FBI, which initially ignored the wild story. So there was hater who was involved.

[Paul Scheer]

Of course.

[Lacey Mosley]

I think it was the brother. Because remember, the brother flushed it.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, he flushed it down into it.

[Lacey Mosley]

So I'm like.

[Paul Scheer]

But don't you feel like it's one of those things. You can never trust anybody. I mean, you. The minute you open it up to, like, one more than one person, it's over, it's done.

[Lacey Mosley]

Because too many people can talk, and too many people love to talk. Especially dumbass criminals. That's their favorite thing, is to talk.

[Paul Scheer]

Have a couple of Miller Lights and you're done.

[Lacey Mosley]

So not Miller Lights.

[Paul Scheer]

Miller Lights. I mean, do they make Miller Lights?

[Lacey Mosley]

Don't spill my secrets over Miller Light, please. That's disrespectful. At least get some, you know, Casamigos. So. So Jacobson was in London with his stepbrother and their wives waiting to board a cruise ship when he met Don Hart and his wife. The six of them started talking, and they realized that, you know, on the cruise ship, we should go into business together. So he ropes him into the scam. Now, in 2000, this is when he's gonna get caught. So in 2000, a guy named Doug Matthews decides, fuck it, why not? It's a Tuesday. I don't have anything else to do. Why don't I create an elaborate hoax plan and try to catch this man? So August 3rd, 2001, a year. A McDonald's film crew arrived at the bustly beach town of Wesley, Rhode Island. They carried their cameras and a giant cashier's check and knocked on the door of Michael Hoover. Inside the Hoover home, Amy Murray, a McDonald's smokesperson working with the FBI, encouraged him to tell the camera about the luckiest moment of his life. Nervously clutching this massive check, Hoover recounted the day that he won the Monopoly piece. So remember, he didn't actually win it. He stole it. So the camera crew is, like, listening patiently during this rambly story, like, silently recognizing the inconsequential details. So he's like, it was a Tuesday. It was raining. My knee hurt. I went to the McDonald's, I said, Let me get a McCheese and a McFry.

[Paul Scheer]

And I love that they're all become. All MC. Everything. McCheese and McFry.

[Lacey Mosley]

And then I won a McMailion. So he tells this whole story. And then a special agent requested that McDonald's delay sending checks for the two recent winners because he applied wiretaps. So this is an. This intentional delay was very fruitful, he recalled, because. Because three weeks later, everyone was panicking.

[Paul Scheer]

Right, right, right. Yeah, this is a big deal.

[Lacey Mosley]

So now they're like, never mind. I didn't win a million dollars. You know, it's actually a mistake. Don't come to my house.

[Paul Scheer]

This is it. This is why that guy flushed. The brother's the smartest one. Flush it down the toilet. I don't know.

[Lacey Mosley]

I think the brother was a hater.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, wow.

[Lacey Mosley]

Cause where do these anonymous tips come from? Like, why are y' all hating on my man?

[Paul Scheer]

Why? Where are the anonymous tips coming from? We're talking about a guy opening up his suitcase with $100 bill. We're talking about people on planes having conversation, bumping into people, casinos going, like, let's get it. Let's become partners. These fuckers are talking to everybody. Like, this is, like, ran. Like, it's not like the ocean's 11. This is like, just like. Like, it's like bus stop. Like, hey, I'm involved in this scam. Oh, yeah? You want to be? Yes, I'll be in it. You sound like a good person. Oh, yeah. You want to be a millionaire? Yeah, let's be a millionaire to go. Great.

[Lacey Mosley]

It's not Ocean's eleven. This is Kiddie Pools one. Like, what are we doing?

[Paul Scheer]

This is. Yeah, this is like. They're basically shouting over like. Like, in a hotel lobby, do you

[Lacey Mosley]

want to do crime? You seem like a cool guy. Yeah, I would love to do that.

[Paul Scheer]

That is exactly what is happening every time. Every one of these things is like, they met in a hotel bar, and

[Lacey Mosley]

they decided, yeah, also, these are places where you just meet. Like, really? I'm not talking to nobody on an airplane while we breathing recycled air. I'm telling you about my crimes that I do. It's trash. You're right about that. So they were. They wanted to get caught at this point. So paranoid. Jacobson has tons of winners out there appearing in TV car commercials and arguing with their spouses about the loot. His black hair had turned gray.

[Paul Scheer]

Do you realize how fucking giantly dumb this is? You're stealing it, then you're getting on a TV to do a commercial about it. You're like, I won, idiot. You dummy. The. The real trick would have been stealing all the 1/ hundreds and 5/ hundreds

[Lacey Mosley]

and just, like, small amounts of money, babies. Small amounts of money.

[Paul Scheer]

Just get them.

[Lacey Mosley]

But they went for the big shit. And so now he's bothering his psychic all the time, which is also still his chiropractor.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, and the chiropractor is just trying to, you know, adjust people.

[Lacey Mosley]

He's like, but also my future. So McDonald's launched their promotional game in 2001, knowing that it was corrupt, and they needed to capture Jacobson and the crew in the act. So they brought back the McNopoly thing again. This time just to bust. Just to bust. Which. This is petty as hell. Why don't y' all just let everybody be, you know, let's just have a good time.

[Paul Scheer]

You're letting everybody off the hook too easy.

[Commercial Announcer]

You're.

[Paul Scheer]

But, yeah. Yet you're like, but you're screwing over the one guy who, like, who literally has a backbone in this story. You're like, the brother. Get the brother out of here.

[Lacey Mosley]

I hate the brother. So an FBI raid. Agents surrounded Jacobson's home, crept up his garden path, and knocked on his door. A shocked Jacobson was taken away in handcuffs and charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud. His bond was set at a staggering $1 million. Staffers at the Simon Marketing Company were left in disbelief. They were like, jerome was such an honest guy. He made his own vest and his own stickers and was in control of every security aspect of the Monopoly piece.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Lacey Mosley]

He policed himself.

[Paul Scheer]

This is crazy.

[Lacey Mosley]

Like, why would you have one person in charge of millions of dollars? And you thought that was cool, but

[Paul Scheer]

this is why you make these decisions. And then you realize, like, oh, you were begging to be stolen. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

You were like, rob me.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, rob it.

[Lacey Mosley]

So 50 people or so were convicted. And most cop pleas and plain restitution. Man, y' all should just let these people go. Okay? Let them have a good time. All right, so charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud. Jacobson got 30, 37 months in prison and was made to pay back $12.5 million.

[Paul Scheer]

37 months is not bad for what he did.

[Lacey Mosley]

No, not at all.

[Paul Scheer]

That's not bad. But the 12.5 is an insurmountable thing.

[Lacey Mosley]

And also, he wasn't making that much because the mob was involved and they were taking a hefty cut.

[Paul Scheer]

Right, right, right.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, yeah, before that.

[Paul Scheer]

And the mob's not gonna come there. Yeah, the mob's not gonna come there and help pay off those debts.

[Lacey Mosley]

No. He's lucky he got his life. You know what I mean? Like, when you go to jail, the mob be trying to make you come. Wake up dead, you know, go to bed alive, wake up dead.

[Paul Scheer]

He didn't rat on him. Did he rattle on him?

[Lacey Mosley]

He must have, not. So taking a stand in Jacksonville, Florida, courthouse, he admitted all. I can tell you the biggest mistake of my life. I don't know if this was a mistake. This sounds like a good time.

[Paul Scheer]

I think you can get away with saying, I made the biggest mistake of my life when you do it once and then Once you do it more than once, it's no longer the biggest mistake. Then it's like, well, you know, you fucked up. Like, I think. I think you can say like, I panicked. I decided to rob that bank. I never did that before. That was my thing.

[Lacey Mosley]

I wonder if he's allowed in McDonald's now. Can you even go to McDonald's?

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, McDonald's wants that money. Yeah, you can pay for it. But by the way, why do you need to keep on doing it? Just take that $1 million? How much. How much more did you need in that time?

[Lacey Mosley]

Well, that's the thing about scams is, like, you don't know when to stop. Nobody knows when to stop because it's not about the. It's about the high, the rush, you

[Paul Scheer]

know, I know it's tricky because it's

[Lacey Mosley]

like, oh, every time he put on one of them little stickers.

[Paul Scheer]

I did a real shitty thing when I was a kid. Like, I worked in this place at a cash till, and I'd always scoop an extra 20 or $30 for myself because I'd get paid underpaid. And I was like, well, no one's gonna.

[Lacey Mosley]

That's what people do when they're underpaid.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, I know.

[Lacey Mosley]

I once worked at a drug front. I never stole from them because I started to realize it was a drug front.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay, what was a drug front?

[Lacey Mosley]

So I was bartending. I don't know if I've ever told the story on here, but this guy was a big time businessman in quotes in Pittsburgh, and he was throwing the Summer Jam concert. So I was a promo girl wearing little hoochie outfits, going to the club to promote the Summer Jam.

[Paul Scheer]

Got it.

[Lacey Mosley]

And then the club got shot up. And I guess I should have been more afraid because shoot ins or whatever, but it was a black people shooting it. So they were looking for somebody. So it wasn't like they were just gonna shoot everybody in there. So, you know, I was like, ducking down. I was like, I'll probably be fine. They'll get who they looking for. But afterwards I was like, oh, my God, this was terrifying. Like, and all the Pittsburgh girls that were doing the promo with me, like, oh, my God, I'm so tired of them shooting up the club. We just trying to have fun. And I was like, this happens all the time. Like, why are you guys so casual? We could have died. And so I started working for him as a bartender because I was like, I don't want to get in the club and shut up. And then I Realized, like, I would be serving people like two dollar beers and like, it was like a real shady ass place. Like one time this couple, like, the guy told that he had hepatitis, and then I threw their glasses away. It was a lot. And people would come in and they would ask for money out of the register, and I would just have to give it to them and write a little note like who it was and how much money they took. And I paid myself out of the cash register.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, you got to take money out of that.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, no, I didn't steal because I didn't know what kind of crimes they were involved in, but I did take my. I got my pay from the cash register every day.

[Paul Scheer]

That is fat. You were getting tips.

[Lacey Mosley]

This job. They attempted to. They didn't really have the means.

[Paul Scheer]

Oh, man. Oh, man.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. But so I. I don't know if I feel I've. Jacobson.

[Paul Scheer]

This is too. This is too convoluted to be a mistake.

[Lacey Mosley]

Right? You did it for 12 years.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

A 12 year mistake.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

This is the biggest 12 year mistake of my life.

[Paul Scheer]

My whole thing is like, why you need more money. Like, when would I know? I know it's a thrill in the rush and everything like that, but 12

[Lacey Mosley]

years, and you just never thought to stop. Because if he had just stopped or maybe like took a year off, you know, and then got back on, take

[Paul Scheer]

two years off, come back, take another two years off. Like, just like get a million bucks in a Dodge Viper, take two years off and, you know, it's like, that's all you need. Just be smart. No one's ever smart about the scams. And if they are smart, we haven't heard about them.

[Lacey Mosley]

Exactly. And those are my favorite people.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah, there's a lot of people out here can't do a show about those people because they haven't been caught.

[Lacey Mosley]

And I love it.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. Because they're not talking to anybody.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. They're not on the plane like, hey, I do robberies.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. They're listening to this podcast going, I will never make these same five mistakes that every idiot does.

[Lacey Mosley]

Well. All right, guys, we'll be back after the break. Non scam advertisements, robbery and fraud. All right, guys. And we've made it to the end of the show. And this is where I have to let Paul go.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes. This is a pleasure to talk about McMillion.

[Lacey Mosley]

So much fun. So this is where we do Scammer of the Week, where we honor one fabulous, amazing charlatan that's really worthy of our praise. And we got a little political earlier. So you know what, let's go back there. This one's from a while back, but it's still just. It's fantastic. So the Trump campaign right now is being plagued by groups raising tens of millions of dollars in his name that are not going to the campaign. So outside entities are raising huge money in Trump's name, but most are spending little money to help the president in 2020.

[Paul Scheer]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley]

So Trump's campaign is competing for cash with a growing mass pro Trump pa. Like PACs. Not PACs, but PACs.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Dark money groups and off brand Facebook advertisers that are neither affiliated or endorsed with Trump's campaign.

[Paul Scheer]

So they're just like. But that's good. Like, they're. So they're basically scamming. They're just scamming Trump supporters.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yes. And I love it so much. I heard Trump supporters were giving out cash to black people. I'm trying to know where that is. I'm trying to pull up. I'm like, yes. Oh, I loved when he did them. Racism to people can. Yes, I'll take $20. You know what I mean? Like, I'll take the money. But they are. So he has to compete with fake groups that are stealing money from him. So it's like, wow.

[Paul Scheer]

Wow, that is crazy. That is. I mean, that is next level. And I appreciate that. And I love that someone is taking the power of that janky Facebook bullshit. Like, yeah. And they're like, turning it into their cash money.

[Lacey Mosley]

Made it worthwhile. I want to get it involved in this. Like, yeah, I need to get my blacks for Trump. I feel like there's not a lot of money in that, though. Like, maybe if we get white people to give us money for blacks for Trump.

[Paul Scheer]

By the way, you thought that Uncle Jerry was a black man. You should just pretend that you are a white woman and you're like from the Midwest and you're just a big Trump supporter. No one has to know.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, you're right.

[Paul Scheer]

You know, like, you don't.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'd be that gun girl.

[Paul Scheer]

Yes, yes.

[Lacey Mosley]

And I could get paid because. So they have ads going up on Facebook and some of the ads have names like Latinos for the President and MAGA Coalition. The overwhelming majority of of the money comes from donors giving $200 or less. So this is like people who don't really have it like that.

[Paul Scheer]

Yeah. And these are people that are not getting their McDonald's millions. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

And additionally, 265 Facebook pages spent more than $4 million on Trump related advertising in the past year and a half, but are not registered political committees, according to the disclosures of, you know, trash ass Facebook.

[Paul Scheer]

Sure, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah. So these people are just spending money on ads so that they can raise money pretending to be Trump.

[Paul Scheer]

It's legal, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

Technically, yes.

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, because if you don't do the research of where your money is going, it's fine. Like, I could, I can allude to the fact that it might be going to Trump or because I think there's a whole idea of like, if you're not, you're saying, like, hey, let's help, you know, defeat, you know, whatever. Let's, like, help reelect Trump. I can say I'm trying to do it every day. I'm just getting the word out, but I need to, you know, I need

[Lacey Mosley]

to raise an awareness.

[Paul Scheer]

Awareness.

[Lacey Mosley]

I'm raising awareness and that costs money. I need to pay myself out of what I raised.

[Paul Scheer]

You giving yourself your own stipend to get it out there? I'm not saying how I'm doing it. I'm not saying I'm giving it to his campaign. I'm just saying I'm getting the awareness out. I'm getting it.

[Lacey Mosley]

When you pay my blacks for Trump, you're funding vibes.

[Paul Scheer]

I'm sitting at home sending good vibes.

[Lacey Mosley]

Good vibes to Donald Trump.

[Paul Scheer]

And by the way, that's illegal. I think that that's legal.

[Lacey Mosley]

Yeah, because how can you quantify vibes?

[Paul Scheer]

I mean, look, you're doing the work as long as you give the vibes. I mean, and if the vibe police come in, then that's. That's different story, right?

[Lacey Mosley]

If someone does a vibe check and sees it, I'm vibe.

[Paul Scheer]

You're not giving out the vibes. I mean, then forget it.

[Lacey Mosley]

Oh, but I love you guys who are scamming for Trump. Please keep doing it. Make those Facebook pages, those go fund me. It's fantastic. Guys, we've reached the end of the show and as always, you can find us at scam goddesspodgmail.com. send us your hoodwinks, your scams. Please make sure they're retired. As Paula said, we don't want you bragging on something.

[Paul Scheer]

We don't want you. Unless you want to come and rat somebody out. I would love for someone to come on here and rat. Rat out somebody. Rat out somebody that you've been waiting to just kind of give it to Paul.

[Lacey Mosley]

Paul loves being petty.

[Paul Scheer]

I want to see.

[Lacey Mosley]

Followed that one man for years, years

[Paul Scheer]

up his bag, ready to take him down.

[Lacey Mosley]

Hey guys, you can find me at D I V A L A C I Diva, Lacy on all platforms and pop. Where do you want to be found? That's what we ask.

[Paul Scheer]

I think you can find people. You can find me wherever you'd like. I mean, honestly, like social media. It's just my name on pretty much every aspect. Just Paul Shear.

[Lacey Mosley]

Wonderful. All right, congregation, stay scheming. Bye.

[Commercial Announcer]

At Fred's Appliance we know that real life is piles of never ending laundry, especially during fourth of July. But relief can happen for those who shop at Fred's Appliance. We don't do gimmicks, just clean laundry and everyday low prices. Right now all laundry is on sale from ge, lg, Maytag and more. Save big on top load and front load washers and dryers. Plus save up to $800 in rebate when you buy more save more. Shop the largest supply of in stock get it today inventory in the region this fourth of July only at Fred's Appliance.