The Scammer of All Trades with Lamorne Morris

Summary

Scam Goddess — "The Scammer of All Trades" with Lamorne Morris (July 7, 2020)

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Episode Overview

This laugh-out-loud episode of Scam Goddess, hosted by Laci Mosley, welcomes comedian and actor Lamorne Morris (best known for New Girl) for a lively breakdown of all things scam-related. Pivoting between real-life scams, hilarious banter, personal stories, and a deep-dive into the infamous Frank Abagnale (“Catch Me If You Can”), this installment delivers the podcast’s signature blend of comedy and con artistry. Laci and Lamorne dissect pandemic frauds and discuss the audacity and ingenuity of grifters past and present, with witty asides and memorable comedic chemistry.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Banter, Introductions & Black Privilege

• Magical Negro Stereotype
  • Laci playfully introduces Lamorne as a "magical negro," referencing Hollywood tropes ("You can listen to his comedy album…").
  • Lamorne riffs: “Because magical Negroes need to dance, people…” (01:00)
• Airport Pickup & Luxury Ubers
  • Laci and Lamorne discuss sending Ubers for their mothers rather than driving to LAX, poking fun at "luxury" and parental dynamics.
  • “I’m not going to LAX. Are you kidding me? No.” (Lamorne, 02:05)

2. Personal Scamming Stories

• Scamming the DMV
  • Laci confesses to never taking a real DMV driving test, joking: “I went to driving school and then…scammed my way.” (03:15)
  • Provides context of her privileged, if chaotic, upbringing: “I once ran over a fence with it, so I understand.” (03:46)

3. Pandemic Scams Hot List (05:05)

• COVID-19 Fraud Stats

  • Scams have cost Americans $39 million in less than 3 months. (05:23)
  • Nearly 52,000 fraud complaints to the FTC tied to the pandemic. (06:15)

• Text Message & IRS Scams

  • "The government ain’t gon text you…You ain’t going to get a ‘U up?’ from Uncle Sam.” (Laci, 06:34)
  • Lamorne: “If the government calling you? Yeah, it’s a scam.” (07:50)
  • Laci warns about fake IRS links demanding SSNs, seamlessly redirecting victims to real sites to avoid suspicion.

• Robocall Refund Scams

  • Robocalls promise vague COVID-19 refunds, then request banking info.
  • Laci: "All insurance is just GoFundMe for accidents…a scam for rich people." (10:50)
  • Lamorne jokes about not knowing his insurance provider, spinning into broader commentary on privilege.

• Desperation as Scam Risk

  • Introduction of the “despo-meter”—the more desperate, the more likely you are to fall for a scam. (12:35)
  • “If it seems too good to be true, it usually is. Give it a quick Google.” (Laci, 13:08)
  • Personal anecdote: Laci receives a suspicious census call that escalates to inappropriate questions. “After I hung up, she started texting me, talking about she was from the Census… then changed to another bureau.” (14:11)

4. Audience Engagement & Listener Stories

• Scammer of the Week Contacts the Show
  • Laci recounts being emailed by "Chad Focus," a previous Scammer of the Week who defrauded his job for $1.2 million to promote his rap career.
  • Chad’s email: “Would love to be a guest on your show…stream Chad Focus!” (16:25)
  • Lamorne riffs: “So he kept that money…I ain’t gonna tell you where I buried it.” (17:08)

5. Historic Hoodwink: Frank Abagnale Jr. (Catch Me If You Can) (20:24)

• Legendary Scam Timeline

  • Frank became a check forger, pilot, doctor, and lawyer—all before age 21.
  • Laci’s summary: “This is the plot of Catch Me if You Can.” (21:21)
  • Lamorne and Laci detail his chameleon-like schemes, including posing as a Pan Am pilot to get free rides and as a Georgia hospital’s chief resident.
  • Notable exchange:
    • Lamorne: “What if you found out later he died?”
    • Laci: “He ain’t die!” (25:54)

• White Privilege Satire in Scamming

  • Laci: "Why can't Black people do this? Why can't the liquor stores that people run into be like, ‘Look, hire me and all your Hennessy will be safe.’” (23:15)

• Absurdity of 1960s Scam Simplicity

  • “Back in that day, they didn’t check shit…it was all trust.” (Laci, 33:59)
  • Lamorne: “You just say random pilot words—turbulence, you know.” (33:26)

• Imposter Doctor Routine

  • Posed as a doctor by befriending an actual one and “supervising interns” by letting them do everything.
  • “He was like, what you want in school? Do that.” (Laci, 40:49)
  • “You’re not supposed to let them practice on people!” (Laci, 39:49)
  • “Had a limp and a cane—like House!” (Lamorne, 40:37)

• Downfall

  • Abagnale is exposed by an ex-girlfriend who saw his wanted poster.
  • “See what happens when you don’t treat women right?” (44:21)
  • After prison, works as a fraud consultant for the FBI, and now hosts "The Perfect Scam" podcast.
  • Recap: “He passed the bar. He passed the bar!” (49:29)
  • “This man’s a genius. Wait, so he actually flew the planes?” (Lamorne, 49:54)
  • Laci: “No, he hung out on the planes.” (49:56)

6. Scammer of the Week: Brittany Bridges and Fake Dentistry (52:14)

• Craigslist Dentistry as Scam
  • Laci: “I’ve seen posts on Facebook…‘I do braces.’” (53:14)
  • “I do braces.” (Laci, 53:15)
  • Lamorne: “We should not be getting braces at a residential home.” (53:48)
  • Brittany runs “Bossy Smiles” on Instagram, openly advertising dental work without a license.
  • Authorities struggle to respond because “we can only sanction dentists or hygienists…not unlicensed people.” (54:38)
  • “He getting his teeth whitened with a happy ending!” (Lamorne, 56:40)
  • Laci: “Please don’t start doing braces or anything that you’re not qualified to do…we’re all qualified to scam, but not teeth!” (57:43)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Pandemic Text Scams:
  • Laci: “You ain’t going to get a ‘U up?’ from Uncle Sam.” (06:34)
• Scamming Driving Licenses:
  • Laci: “I never took a driver’s test at a DMV. I went to driver’s house.” (03:16)
• On Black Privilege:
  • Lamorne: “Oh my gosh, talk about privilege. This black privilege is crazy.” (03:46)
• Robocall Refunds & Insurance:
  • Laci: “All insurance is just GoFundMe for accidents…a scam for rich people.” (10:50)
• Census Scammer Persistence:
  • Laci: “When I hung up…she started texting me, talking about she was from the Census Bureau. Then…another bureau.” (14:11)
• On Imposter Syndrome (as Doctor):
  • Laci: “He was able to fake his way through most of his duties by letting interns show off…” (40:15)
• Laci’s Donkey Kick Story:
  • “I back kicked. I donkey kicked a man down some subway steps.” (25:09)
• Scammer of the Week Dentistry:
  • Laci: “I do livers…Y’all don’t go to dialysis no more because I do kidneys.” (58:02)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Topic | Timestamp | |---------|-------|-----------| | Introductions, Laci & Lamorne riff on “magical negro” | 00:00–02:30 | | Laci’s DMV scam/privilege story | 03:01–03:46 | | COVID-19 scam warnings: IRS texts, robocalls | 05:05–12:32 | | The “despo-meter” & personal scam anecdote | 12:35–14:32 | | Listener updates: “Chad Focus” emails | 15:16–17:15 | | Historic Hoodwink: Frank Abagnale (Catch Me If You Can) | 20:24–51:01 | | Scammer of the Week: Brittany Bridges “I do braces” | 52:14–58:02 |

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Tone & Style

Witty, irreverent, and packed with playful sarcasm. Both Laci and Lamorne combine sharp social observation, life stories, and rapid-fire punchlines, making complex fraud tales both accessible and hilariously relatable. Laci’s “True Con” approach keeps the show light-hearted amid talk of crime and consequence.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode is classic Scam Goddess: a seamless mix of historical con artistry, practical scam awareness, and raucous improv comedy. If you want to learn about true frauds and laugh out loud while you do it, this is your show. And, as ever, “Stay schemin’!”

Transcript

[A]

Scams C, robbery and Fraud. Scams C, robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's poppin, Congregation? We're back for another installment of Scam Goddess. It's me, your host, Laci Moseley, AKA Scam Goddess. And I say it with me. Guys, I. I am so excited for today's guest, but I really am. He is quite the magical negro. You can listen to his comedy album that's out right now called the Morning After Pill. You know him and love him from the New Girl and many, many projects. Guys, we have Lamorne Morris. Hi.

[B]

Hey. Hey, hey. What's up?

[A]

Did you, like, do a little dance there when I called you a magical negro?

[B]

I did. Because magical Negroes need to dance, people. Here's the thing about magical Negroes. We oftentimes dance like most Negroes. Is that a stereotype or is that just fact?

[A]

I'm trying to reclaim it because magical Negro is just like the Negro in every white people movie. That's like, go get your man. Or like, drives you to the airport,

[B]

drives you to that.

[A]

I wasn't trying to be shady.

[B]

Let me tell you something. I'm a magical negro who would just pay for an Uber. I will get you an Uber as a friend, you know what I mean? Like, that's me doing my part.

[A]

Is it bad that I be getting my mama Ubers from the airport? I get her Uber black, like the suv, but I don't go pick her up.

[B]

Not at all. Not at all. That's perfect because it's luxury. Do you drive a Suburban?

[A]

Exactly. I drive an suv.

[B]

Oh, well, you, you just.

[A]

You know what car I drive?

[B]

Yeah, you just. Asshole. Cause you have a luxurious car now. The car I have now, I definitely pick my mom up from the airport.

[A]

Oh, so you weren't doing it because you didn't like your car? I'm not doing it. Cause I'm not getting. I'm not going to lax. Are you kidding me? No.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Now, listen.

[B]

It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. You get to sit. Sit in traffic for your mom back and forth, up and down the 405 just so she can nag you when she get to your house. Not playing.

[A]

Exactly. And go through my. And go through my. She doesn't even stay at my house. She always stays at a hotel because she's bougie. But she wants to come to my house and go through my. And then go to a hotel.

[B]

I'm like, that's the sole reason.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know, it'd be funny, like, if you just, like as any. But any guy that you're dating would just really, like, buddy, buddy up to your mom and then go, listen, go through her phone for me, okay? You used to go through her shit. Like, who was she texting last night? Why you want to go through it anyway? What? I just. Because I'm a detective. Oh, by any means necessary.

[A]

Well, then you're perfect for this show. You're absolutely perfect. No, I. My mom knows I can't drive. This podcast knows I can't drive. I didn't have to test for a driver's license, and everyone is very well, like, aware of that. Like, I scammed my way.

[B]

You didn't have to.

[A]

I never took a driver's test at a dmv. I went to driver's house.

[B]

Where'd you take it? At a dude named Daryl's house.

[A]

Listen, Daryl pulled up with the license, though. It swipes,

[B]

man.

[A]

I went to driving school and then they were like. And I remember at driving school, my instructor was like, okay, girl, you need to practice more. But my parents are very self involved, so they weren't letting me drive their cars. And they drive luxury cars too, so they're like, you're not practicing at our Mercedes. I once ran over a fence with it, so I understand, but.

[B]

Oh, my gosh, talk about privilege. This black privilege is crazy.

[A]

It is crazy. Black privilege. Because I ran over my neighbor's fence because my mom asked me to pull the car in and I hit reverse and they paid for their own fence. They were like, it's fine. We were getting a new fence anyway.

[B]

It's Tyler Perry's house. Who cares? He's rich, right? You find out his neighbor was Tyler Perry growing up.

[A]

I freaking wish my neighbor was Tyler Perry. All my neighbors were white.

[B]

Ah, yes, Magical.

[A]

That led to much harassment. I know. I'm sorry I called you a magical negro.

[B]

No, I'm just saying you. You might be the magicalest negro of them all.

[A]

I'm trying to be every day, but it will not involve me driving anyone to the airport. We can get into it. What's hot and fried? So this is where Lamorne and I are going to talk about. What's popping in these streets is what scams are out there. We want to keep you safe from scams. Unless they're my scams, which you have willingly agreed to participate in if you own an iPhone. Especially because I know you didn't read that contract that you accepted.

[B]

No, I did not.

[A]

And you don't know what it says. I have a Clock. No worries.

[B]

I have no idea what this show is about. I'm in for a journey. This is going to be fun. I think,

[A]

you know, it's going to be fun because I'm here. So, guys, obviously, we've been amidst a pandemic, and the scammers, just like Ms. Rona, they don't sleep. Okay? They're out here just like the virus, and they're spreading. And you need to be aware, apparently coronavirus scams have cost Americans $39 million so far. Wow. Mind you, we've been in the pandemic for, like, three months. That's like 10 million a month. So nearly 52,000Americans. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I can do math, too. I said, can you, though? So you know what? You see, I am going to call you Magical Negro.

[B]

All right, go ahead.

[A]

You know what? Thank you for letting me go ahead on my podcast, Lamorne. Thank you so much for telling me I could talk. Look at. See the patriarchy. That's why we don't be having men on this show.

[B]

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm drinking my protein shake.

[A]

Yes. Get nice and strong. Nearly 52,000Americans have already filed complaints this year with the Federal Trade Commission over fraud related to COVID 19. So let's get into what these frauds are. So one of the big popular things that's going around is people sending text messages, which, guys, I've told you, the government ain't gon text you. You ain't going to get a U up from Uncle Sam.

[B]

Oh, is it like one of those. Oh, wait, people are getting scammed through like. Like, click this link in the text. Type of. Type of deal.

[A]

Yeah. So basically, there's a robotech scam that sends out a text that's from the Eternal Revenue Service, purportedly, and they ask for confirmation information for a stimulus payment through a link. So if you click on it, the link takes you to a realistic IRS webpage where you're prompted to provide your name, contact information, and Social Security number. Once you've entered your personal information, you're then redirected to the real IRS website to make the scam look less suspicious.

[B]

Oh, wow, that's crazy.

[A]

And I know, right? I know stimulus checks are going out. I know a lot of you guys are probably on unemployment or will continue to be on unemployment well throughout this period of time. So, like, if you get a text message from the government, it's not real.

[B]

What do they call again? One more time.

[A]

The. The government.

[B]

Okay, let me Tell you something, if the government calling you. Yeah, it's a scam. The government has to come.

[A]

Do you remember that Nelly video with Kelly Rowland where she was texting in the Excel spreadsheet? That's who's texting y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

That's who's texting y' all is Kelly Rowland in the Express, like, Excel spreadsheet. Don't do it. The government does not text you. They don't. They're not like, hey, did you pay your taxes? This Uncle Sam. They not gonna hit you up.

[B]

This your Uncle Sam. This your uncle. Pick up the phone. This your uncle, right?

[A]

You thought it was Uncle Sam, but it was your Uncle Sam. So, guys, please, I'm begging you. If you get a text from the government, ignore it. Report it. Keep yourself safe. Another way that they're doing it is robocalls. Robocalls are a huge area for scammers right now. One of the most common ones that's popping up is for fake refunds related to coronavirus. The key to this scheme is that scammers never mention what the refund is. Exactly. With many companies, from car insurance providers to utilities offering refunds and discounts right now, it's easy for customers to assume something like that, which. I'm getting a refund from Allstate every month. They're refunding half of my insurance, and my premium is high because they know a bitch can't drive.

[B]

Wow. So why wait? Why are you getting refunds again?

[A]

Because no one's really driving right now. So. Insurance companies? Yeah. You know what, Lamorin? That's just telling me that you've gotten too rich because now you don't even know how much you paying in insurance this month, do you?

[B]

No, dude. Well, I know how much. I'm. Well, I don't. I don't, like, go into my account

[A]

with, like, do you know this month?

[B]

Like, and I'll go, no, I don't, like, put. Pull the money out. I don't go to the bank every month and go, I have to pay my insurance. Can you hand me just enough cash from said account so I can then walk to the insurance company and then stick it in the slot and then wait and see? No, fool. I, you know, automatic pay or stuff. Like, you know, I have a business.

[A]

I know. I'm just saying, look, you don't have to be rich to be on direct deposit. I'm just saying, a lot of us don't know. I didn't know. I went to the AT&T store and got a New phone. And they were like, oh, how's your service? Like your, you know, service for my apartment, like the cable and wi fi. And I was like, oh, I don't know, it seems pretty bad. And they were like, how much do you pay? And I was like, mm, I know I give y' all money.

[B]

How much you pay?

[A]

Right? That's the question. That's the real black people question right there. How much you paying? Cause I should be paying what you paying.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, no, I definitely don't. I know. I know what my insurance is. I know what. I know how much. But I didn't know, you know the brand. Yeah. Because of. I didn't know that we were getting. Who get discounts because you can't go nowhere. Because what happens if you just decide I do need to go to the grocery store and bam, you hit somebody like that changes.

[A]

Insurance is crowdfund. All insurance is is gofundme for accidents and also just a scam for rich people. So all we do is pay to hope that we're not in an accident. So everybody's paying unless people are driving. So it makes sense. But of course, like, I feel like if I asked Lamorn, like, who his insurance provider would be, he'd be like the black man from T.

[B]

You know, the guy with the deep voice, real sexual. Like, I think my mom the president of 24. Yeah, no, I know my insurance companies are fool. I have a few. All right.

[A]

My insurance company, the. The in the red polo in the case. Jake. I think his name is Jake.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, Jake. Light skinned dude. Real nice eyes.

[A]

Oh, so you've been seeing Jay?

[B]

Yeah, that's my guy.

[A]

So to wrap this up, the robocall will call you and be like, we can't provide this service due to COVID 19. You've been charged $399. This is what the FTC said is like the common amount that they're saying. Press one to claim a refund. And then when you press one to claim a refund, they'll ask you for your credit card information or banking information so that they can deposit said refund. I'm doing air quotations. They're stealing your money. So guys, if you get a phone call, like Allstate gave me my money back. And I was like, oh, it wasn't. They didn't call me and were like, hey sis, we're trying to run you coins. They were like, we put some shit back, bitch. We don't want to talk about it either.

[B]

Either way. Either. Phrasing Sounds like a scam. Wait, wait.

[A]

Insurance is a scam.

[B]

Wait, so. So you called them?

[A]

Yeah, you. They don't. They shouldn't call you.

[B]

First of all, I don't know who falls for this stuff.

[A]

A lot of people. Elderly people, people who are desperate. We talk about that on our show all the time. The despo meter. If you're really like, you have to constantly evaluate how desperate you are for something before you do that thing, which works in many aspects of life. So, like, if you about to go on a Tinder date or a bumble date, and you know it's quarantine and it's been a minute since you got some, maybe think about. Think about your desperation before you go on the date.

[B]

You don't want to be out here dipping into the wrong pool.

[A]

Right? And that goes for financial stuff, too. If it seems too good to be true, it usually is. Give it a quick Google. That'll save you some time and some money. But, you know, people not just calling you, giving you money, and the government is not going to text you, girl. This actually happened to me. I had a census survey, which was supposed to be the 2020 census. This happened two weeks ago. This woman called me and just started asking me an onslaught of questions. And I thought it was the real census because I was like, oh, well, this is great. I don't have to go online. Maybe they just moved it, you know, because they come to your door. So I was like, maybe they're just calling niggas now. And, man, I talked to her and she was going through this laundry list of stuff. Do you have precondition? Like pre existing conditions? I was like, no, I don't. I was like, I'm healthy. The only thing I have is asthma. And they were like, okay, how about diabetes? I was like, okay, now you're asking too many questions. Like, I felt like she was, do

[B]

you have a brother in jail? What? What are you saying to me?

[A]

What's your favorite number and the first pet you ever had? What high school did you.

[B]

I'm thinking it's the color green. Is it the color green? I don't know. Look, maybe.

[A]

They were definitely trying to ask me security questions. And then when I hung up. Cause I was like, this ain't right. She started texting me, talking about she was from the census bureau. Then I said, no, you're not. Then she said, actually, I'm not. I'm from another bureau. I was like, girl. She called me two more times before finally she gave up. I was like, I'm not gonna give you my information. Go.

[B]

She just called you to hang out. She's like, what you doing?

[A]

You know, we all in the house, girl. What you watching? What's on Netflix you want to do

[B]

is you want to do a Zoom get together?

[A]

I started doing a Zoom get together with my scammer. Yeah, I just hang out with him now.

[B]

Have you had any actual scammers come on your show?

[A]

Not yet, but I did. What's crazy? You asked that. I did just get an email from a scammer of the week that I talked about called Chad Focus, who's a rapper who stole a hundred. And I think he stole $1.2 million from the job he was working at in credit card fraud so that he could buy billboards and fake streams for his rap album.

[B]

Whoa. Yeah.

[A]

And then we played his raps, and they were good.

[B]

They were good raps, really.

[A]

And guys, Chad Focus emailed me and was like, I love the show. Tell people to stream. Chad Focus.

[B]

Also, drive down Melrose. I got a billboard. Yo, that is crazy. He. So he scammed his and he taught weight. So he got caught.

[A]

Yeah, he got caught and he served a little jail time. But he emailed me and said he was free. He said he was free. Wait, let me see if I'm getting emails from jail, y'. All, I'm. I'm quitting the podcast. I love emails from jail. All I want is someone's prison wife.

[B]

There's a subject line, a picture of his dick. That's what it is. I'm in jail. This is okay, right? So he said, stop harassing me if I'm already in jail.

[A]

Right? Y' all can't lock me up again. Double jeopardy. That's not how it works. That's not how it works.

[B]

I watch Jeopardy. That's how it works.

[A]

The subject of Chad's email is very funny smiley face. And he says, diva Lacey, salute to you and your brand. Love your last episode. Lol. Very cute. You gotta promote my billboard charting hit, Dance With Me and the Dance. He said, I need all the Dance With Me royalties I can get. P.S. i'm just out home chilling at my mansion. Would love to be a guest on your show one day. Keep grinding.

[B]

He's chilling at his mansion.

[A]

You just made me look this up. He's chilling at his mansion.

[B]

Wait a minute. What? Wait. So he kept that money. He said, I'll do the jail time, but I ain't gonna tell you why I buried the money.

[A]

Right. Chad said, don't focus on that money. Don't focus on that.

[B]

Kill him in his mansion.

[A]

Oh, God bless him. All right, guys, on that note, we're gonna take a quick break for some non scam advertisements scams.

[B]

All right, everybody go get that new Chat focus. Get that little Chad Focus.

[A]

We're back. The last advertisement for Chad Focus came from Lamorne Morris, but we'll take it. We'll take it. We love Chad on the show.

[B]

You want a picture of my dick? It's okay, because I'm already locked up,

[A]

chilling in his mansion, sitting out dick

[B]

pics left and right worldwide.

[A]

Stop making fun of my boyfriend. I'm gonna be chat focused girlfriend.

[B]

Oh, y' all engaged? Oh, my bad.

[A]

That's what I. I don't have to be a prison wife now because he free. So, guys, it's time for my favorite segment of the podcast, Historic Hoodwink.

[B]

You. Could I have a question? I apologize. So they have mob wives. They have basketball wives, housewives. Do they have prison wives?

[A]

No, I don't think so, but they should. I think there's like a prison pen pal or Love after Lockup. Love after lockup. That's where the Prison Wives is at.

[B]

Okay. Cause I want. I need to see a show, a real show called Prison Wives. So I gotta go. I gotta start developing right now. I can't finish the podcast' cause this is my billion dollar opportunity. Bye.

[A]

It truly probably is. I want. I want a scripted show. It's gonna look, you only need, like, three locations.

[B]

Prison, living room,

[A]

Low budget. You can produce it for six.

[B]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to interrupt.

[A]

Negro, you ain't sorry. You're not sorry at all. Guys, we're back. Lamorn is just going to take over my podcast and. And we're all the intros. No, he's not sorry, but I love it. I met Lamorne. I've only met Lamorne one time in person. We did a show at ucb, and that's when I met you.

[B]

Yes. And you by far, are one of the funniest people I have ever met in my entire life.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Like, I know. I know how hard. I mean, I know how hard improv is. You know, obviously for you, it's really easy. And I came up doing improv at Second City and in Chicago, and I just, like, I. How effortless you guys made it look and how. And you're. I mean, even when you initiating, whether you're responding, whether you. I was like, God damn, she's good. So congrats to you, man.

[A]

I would love to let Lamorne keep complimenting me because it's fun, but I know you guys came here for other reasons, so we'll get back to the show, but thank you. I didn't know you did Second City. You're super funny. I never knew you did Second City. That's freaking dope.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Look at Lamorne being a little improv nerd.

[B]

Yes, it was a little dork me, Sam Richardson.

[A]

So it's time for my favorite segment of the podcast, Historic Hoodwinks. And this is where I'm going to regale Lamorne with a very, very famous caper. And we're just gonna get his thoughts and opinions all throughout. And maybe he'll ask questions, and maybe I'll have answers, or maybe I won't. Again, I'm not a journalist. Thank you. This podcast is a scam of me not being a journalist. So today we're talking about Frank Abagnale.

[B]

Abner Abigail.

[A]

Wow. You knew that. Frank Abnegale, he's a talented scam artist. Talented scam artist. When he was 16, he posed as an airline pilot to get free fights. Oh. Because this is the plot of Catch Me if you can. Like.

[B]

Yeah. That's the only reason why I know.

[A]

I swear to you guys, every episode of our show is either been a movie or is being made into a movie or a Netflix show. Like every episode, the scammers are just.

[B]

You gotta get into one now.

[A]

Mm. I'm trying to. I wanted to play Anna Delvey from our first episode. She's the one who was the heiress scammer in New York City who had people donating to a fake club that she was building. Shonda Rhimes bought the rights to that story.

[B]

Really?

[A]

She's my favorite person. She is a white woman, so technically I am not white. However, white women have played not white women all throughout history. Can't I just right be black?

[B]

You should play a white woman. But they change it. Change it up a little bit. Call it artistic license.

[A]

Right. I think it should be me.

[B]

I think so too.

[A]

So, Frank. How do you say his name?

[B]

Abnegale.

[A]

Ab. Nigel. Thank you. Frank Abnergale was a talented scam artist in many different ways. He was. When he was 16, he posed as an airline pilot to get free flights and also pretended to be a doctor and. And a lawyer. He forged checks, defrauded banks, and a handful of other things before eventually pulling a 180 and becoming a snitch, aka an FBI consultant. He was eventually hired by the FBI as a consultant, and then started his own agency, educating corporations, financial institutions, and government organizations on how to detect and handle fraudulence. A portion of his life was subject to the film Catch Me if youf can, starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Like we just said, I love that he robbed people and then was like, hey, y', all, hire me so that I don't rob you no more.

[B]

The privilege,

[A]

right? Why can't black people do this? Why can't the liquor stores that people run into be like, look, hire me and all your Hennessy will be safe.

[B]

I'mma stop robbing you. Just go ahead, put your boy on the payroll one time, right?

[A]

I mean, the mob did that. The mob used to be like, hey, you don't want us to ruin your life, hire us. So, damn, man, I wish. I wish more people could do it. So. Frank. Frank. What?

[B]

Abner.

[A]

I can't remember it. Abnegale. Thank you, Frank Abnegale Jr. Was born April 27, 1948, in Bronx, New York, New York. See. You from the Bronx, or is this Bronxville? So that's not the Bronx, right? Is the Bronx Bronxville?

[B]

Unless. Unless it's Bronx for short. I had no. Oh, that's a fun fact. If that's true, we got this.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[B]

Google opened up. Google opened up.

[A]

Imma feel hella dumb if Bronx is short for Bronxville.

[B]

Yeah, if it is, don't tell nobody. You didn't know that?

[A]

No, it's called the Bronx. Nah, it's called the Bronx. Yeah, it's called the Bronx. Okay, we're fine. We're fine. I lived in New York for a few years before I left because I hated it, so.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

It's good. Shout out to New Yorkers because y' all got grits, my guy. It's hard enough being a black every day, then you gotta go outside and fight 5011 people on the street and fight 5011 people on the train, and then you gotta go to work like that ain't.

[B]

You ain't got to work yet. Yeah. Oh, my God, that is.

[A]

And the weather.

[B]

Every day is a headache. Every day is a headache in New York. Everybody going somewhere.

[A]

I became very aggro when I lived in New York. I became super aggro. I once back kicked a guy down some subway stairs.

[B]

I'm sorry, what?

[A]

I back kicked. I donkey kicked a man down some subway steps.

[B]

What did he do to you?

[A]

So there's a rule in New York where if this is an unspoken rule and now my New York accent gonna come out there's an unspoken rule. If there's a train on the platform, then you move because people gotta go. So if you coming up the stairs and you already got off the train, there's train on the platform. You move, there's no train on the platform. I'm coming up the stairs off the train. This white man barrels into me. It's my room. It's my room. He barrels into me and we're chest to chest. And I look at him and I say, really? And he says, yeah, really. And then when he stepped behind me, I donkey kicked him down the steps and then I ran.

[B]

Rip that guy. What if he found out later that he died?

[A]

He ain't die.

[B]

How you know

[A]

if he died? I was probably arrested.

[B]

What if you go to New York and you see, like, Rip T shirts, like the airbrushed denim jackets with his

[A]

face on it, Nobody there brushing that white man.

[B]

He's like, ah,

[A]

don't put that thought in my head. Nobody's air rushing that white man.

[B]

You gotta go to sleep with that on your chest.

[A]

Thank you. So Bronxville, New York, according to the memoir. Abigail. Did I say it right?

[B]

Just call him Jack.

[A]

Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna call him Frank. Frank stated that he had a stable childhood and was especially close to his father, who traveled offlet often and became deeply involved in Republican local politics. Racist. Anyway, when his mother decided to leave Frank Sr. Due to her husband's absences, their family was turned upside down as his mother worked towards independence. Frank Jr. Decided to live with his father after the divorce and often tagged along on the business dealings. So I imagine, like, Frank Jr. Is probably in some hotels, and they're like, little Frankie, make us up some cocktails. You know how rich white people were doing in the 50s? They'd be like. And put two olives in it for daddy and your auntie. What's your name?

[B]

Tina. And then come over here, give auntie a kiss on the mouth. Open mouth. What

[A]

problem that time? Those times were crazy.

[B]

I apologize.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, no, no, not you. I'm saying the times like that was crazy.

[B]

I was there. I lived through those times.

[A]

I don't think you. Lamorne. You're not that old.

[B]

I'm very old. I'm very old. Take a yes.

[A]

Take a yes. I know how old you are.

[B]

No, you think you know, but you have no idea.

[A]

Now you're just gonna say you only know what.

[B]

You only know what I think you. You only know what I want you to know.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Well, saving it for this podcast to reveal my true age.

[A]

So as a teenager, Frank got caught up in petty crimes, including shoplifting. He soon grew tired of these practices and decided to move on into more sophisticated forms of burglary. A king gotta work your way up. It was like shoplifting, elementary school burglary,

[B]

high school, pickpocketing, stuff like that.

[A]

So Frank convinced the gas station attendants to give him a portion of his sale back in cash and allowed him to portion a pocket of the proceeds. So gas cards are a thing of the past. I don't know nothing about no gas card.

[B]

I do.

[A]

I don't believe you.

[B]

I'm very familiar. I still have some of them from the old days.

[A]

I truly do not believe you. You don't even know who your insurance provider is.

[B]

It's insurance.

[A]

Insurance,.com insurance.

[B]

You know the ones that website.

[A]

That website. You know the guys. So this is like a small scam. And I like this scam because I like that he was like, look, I'm gonna get a cut. You gonna get a cut. Like, the gas station attendant ain't making bank.

[B]

I'm not still just. I'm just. I'm just dying at the fact that you're like, I like this scam, man. This is saying a lot about who you are as a person.

[A]

Listen, America's a scam. The economy is a scam. Capitalism is a scam. And certainly gas stations are one of the biggest scams because. Let's talk about oil. Big scam. So if you can get a couple coins off the gas station, get it. You're just. You earned it. They robbed you, you robbed them back.

[B]

Or you can just drive electric.

[A]

Yeah. You know, these times they had a gas card, so I'm guessing they didn't have electric cars. Just a wild guess.

[B]

They just. They had it. We won't go there. On our next episode of Conspiracy Theories. Look up the name Mark Samson. Mark Samson. You'll find something. Look up Mark Sampson. That'll tell you. Sounds like a paranoid guy.

[A]

Suddenly Lamorne has foil on his head. I don't know what's going on. So this scam fell apart when his father got the credit card bill, which added up to thousands of dollars, which, duh. You can't just steal money. Like, he's gonna get a bill. So dismayed over his son's delinquency, Frank's mother sent him to a school. School for wayward boys. Don't send a scammer to a school for wayward boys. He gonna do nothing but Learn how to get better there.

[B]

Yeah, and fuck.

[A]

Right? That's like when people try to send children to conversion camps. Ain't everybody there gonna be gay? What is y' all doing?

[B]

Stop.

[A]

We gay. It's okay. I'd be like, I wish, I wish somebody would send me to a conversion camp. I'd be like, all these girls, fantastic. And they're all here for the same reason. I'm down, like, I'm into it. Like, what?

[B]

Mom, can I go back to conversion camp again?

[A]

I need to be conversion some more. But honestly, those camps are horrible. But they're. I just don't even understand why people would make camps like that. Also camps for wayward boys. What are y' all doing? Is that military camp? The only thing I've ever heard from wayward children was military school school. Which is also trash because he was trying to indoctrinate them into going into the army.

[B]

Boo. Boo.

[A]

A scam,

[B]

A scam. I'm sorry.

[A]

So caught between his parents tensions, Frank reportedly left home at 16 years old. So he just said, I'm out. You know what, I'll just be an adult. And at that time, you can be an adult. At 16. He had a little in his bank account, no education, and had altered his driver's license to make himself 10 years older than he was. And exaggerated his education, which like, who gonna check you, boo. He got better paying jobs. He decided to quit working and wrote bad checks for himself to support him. So he was getting better paying jobs, but he was like, this is barely making the ends meet. So he decided to quit working and just start writing bag checks.

[B]

I said, okay, well, alright, cool.

[A]

Before long, Frank had written hundreds of bad checks and overdrawn his account by thousands of dollars. Knowing that he would eventually be caught, he went into hiding. Frank realized that he could cash more bad checks if he dazzled bank tellers. With new and more impressive personality, he decided pilots were highly respected professionals. So he schemed his way to getting a pilot's uniform. Frank called Pan American Airlines headquarters and told them that he had lost his uniform while traveling. And they told him where to pick up a new one. And he charged it to the company using a fake id.

[B]

Wow, this guy.

[A]

Obviously Pan Am is no more. But he was just like, hey, hey, Pan Am. Hey, yeah. Your boy lost his uniform. I realized when I'm feeling flying around, I have to wear the uniform to fly. But somehow in transit I had lost

[B]

because I remember I took it off mid flight. Then when I got off, I couldn't find Said uniform maybe if you guys want to go up there and check. Yeah, but I just really need to get a new one. I gotta, I gotta route to Costa Rica.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You know, flights, routes, airplanes. Turbulence. Turbulence. He just says random pilot words, you know? You know what I'm talking about? Like, and then immediately gets a new. That's crazy. But back in that day, like, they didn't check shit. Like, they had no way to.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

It was just all trust. And most people didn't have the audacity to lie about random shit like needing a pilot's uniform. So it worked. His ruse earned him valuable information about how to impersonate pilot A. Which he did, allegedly. Until like, so he would do this impersonation so he could get free flights. He would just get on the fly. Like, yeah, I'm just like, you just going to the airport. You just check to see what time flights leave and you just go to the airport.

[B]

Yo. Have you seen the movie?

[A]

Not in a long time, no.

[B]

Yeah. What you're telling me is obviously a lot more information than the movie gives, but like, it's, it's, it's crazy. It's crazy. This type of stuff that he, that he got away with. Keep reading. I think you'll. Obviously, you, you. The movie touches on some things, but I just. As you're talking, I'm like imagining the film and I'm like, wait a minute. Yeah, that's.

[A]

Yeah, right. That this things happened. And now I wish I had seen the movie before I did this. I don't remember the movie, but I do remember seeing Leonardo DiCaprio in it. And a palazzan.

[B]

Maybe we saw a trailer. Trailer.

[A]

I think I was pretty young when it came out. And you with your undisclosed age. I'll never.

[B]

I was 74 when that movie came out.

[A]

So expenses such as food or lodging he would bill to the airline company. However, he didn't fly on Pan Am planes out of fear that he could potentially be identified by real Pan Am employees or like pilots. So he, he's so smart. He was like, I'm going to get a Pan Am uniform, but I'm not going to go on Pan Am because them niggas going to be like, yeah, we see you at the last cookout. We.

[B]

Yeah,

[A]

you know, we have seen you on no videos. We.

[B]

No functions, no sexual harassment functions, nothing.

[A]

We just saw the video. Like Pan Am shoots a video like Virgin Airlines, you know, they have that. So we're ready to fly. Like everybody from Virgin is in that video. Including so many actors.

[B]

Oh, my gosh, 100%. And you know what? Whenever I get on those flights and I see, like, these, like, if you go on British Airways, they have, like, all these, like, dope British actors doing this bit. Like, everybody, you name it, they're all in this video in Virgin. They have all these fun, like, actors dancing around and performers. And I always get on these flights and I go, ain't nobody called me to do this shit.

[A]

You jealous you didn't get the booking? I won't lie. I saw the little boy from Blackish, and I was like, wait a minute. I could have been in this. You're ready to fly. We gonna get all up in the sky. Virgin American nose.

[B]

By the time you leave this airline, you won't be a virgin no mo.

[A]

Right? We would have been great. Virgin. We would have been great. I know y' all got bought by Alaska Airlines and that's about to be poop, but, you know, you missed out. We could have been dancing in your videos. So once Pan Am police began catching on to Frank's lies, he decided to change his identity again and become an out of town doctor in Georgia. Well, what is an out of town doctor?

[B]

That's right.

[A]

So for 11 months, Frank impersonated a chief resident pediatrician at a Georgia hospital under the alias Frank Williams. I like that alias because it's like, you don't want to give yourself a fake first name. Because then when people call you by your name, you like, who.

[B]

Who's Brooks? Oh, yeah, me. I'm Brooks.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, never mind. I'm Brooks. What was I saying?

[B]

Me, Brooks.

[A]

That's who I am right today.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's good to keep the first name the same and the last name. Switch it up. So when filing out, when filling out a rental application, he impulsively listed his occupation as doctor. After befriending a real doctor who lived in the same apartment complex, he agreed to act as a supervisor resident of interns as a favor until the local hospital could find someone else to take the job. So he met somebody who was a doctor.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

He was like, can I borrow a cup of sugar? Oh, hey, you got on a white coat. Are you a doctor? Cause I am, too, as well. In addition to you, also a doctor who went to doctor school for doctorate.

[B]

See, here's what happened. I lost my coat on a flight. Do you have an extra doctor's coat lying around?

[A]

That's how he got his doctor's coat.

[B]

Yeah, I lost my coat in a surgery. It might still Be inside the patient. We sewed him up.

[A]

You know how it goes.

[B]

I need a new coat. Yeah.

[A]

Sadly, they do be leaving stuff in people rags and shit, so.

[B]

I know clamps.

[A]

Not unlikely, but also, this is just such a brilliant white life that I wish that I could be a part of to be white and talk to your next door neighbor and them get you a doctor job with no credentials. You're white. You're charismatic.

[B]

All right, cool. It'll be fun.

[A]

Come work in our house.

[B]

So, yeah, sew stuff up, add some Tylenol. You're fine.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's. It's. Honestly, it's autopilot. You go in. Speaking of snip snip here. Right? So the position was not demanding for Frank, as seven interns were eager to experience. Get experience under his position. Imagine that. You're the. I want to know who these interns are because I don't want a doctor who studied under Frank because he didn't teach them shit.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. A lot of. I wonder how many people he was because of this, his tenure, this however short lived stint this was. I wonder how many people died in a direct result of him being in that hospital.

[A]

Right? He's like teachings.

[B]

Or his.

[A]

We've got a guy with a swollen abdomen. What should we do? Frank like Tyler. No.

[B]

Yeah. Cut off.

[A]

That's what I do.

[B]

His abs are swollen. Ooh. Cut off his toe.

[A]

The blood drainage will drain the ab. Trust me. Oh, no. I hate to know. I hate to know what they learned. He was able to fake his way through most of his duties by letting his intern show off their handling of the cases coming in during his late night shift. So basically, people would come in and he'd be like, what do you think we should do? And act like he was House.

[B]

Yeah. Had a limp and a cane.

[A]

Like, you're not supposed to let them practice on people. You're supposed to help them. That's what interning's for. So they see you do it. He was like, what you want in school?

[B]

Simple.

[A]

Do that. I mean, that's more responsible than what we said he was doing.

[B]

He's like, listen, I'm not gonna be there for you holding your hand. So you make the call.

[A]

Yo. I feel like he said those exact words. Honestly, you just inspired me. I feel like I could do surgery now.

[B]

See, now you got. Listen, you are a true crook. Like a true movie villain. You are.

[A]

I'm like suture.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like. I feel like when you leave your Apartment. There's a getaway car outside like it's a regular car, but you speed off as if you just got away with something. This is just the way you live.

[A]

I do drive like I'm fleeing the scene of a crime. That's my favorite way to drive.

[B]

Drive like Halle Berry or Brandi.

[A]

Oh, no. My favorite trope about Halle Berry is that she's always losing her kids in movies.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Like, we got a movie about a missing kid call Halle Losing Isaiah. Look, she's lost all the kids.

[B]

Losing Isaiah. No, you took it back, man.

[A]

Genre. Like, you get typecast for losing kids.

[B]

Oh, my God. So she had that 911 movie, right? She had that Losing Isaiah. She had monsters ball.

[A]

And I'm currently writing Where My Baby Go for her, so hoping that she likes it. Where My Baby Go With. Starring Halle Berry. I think it's gonna be a hit.

[B]

Halle Berry, Bo Kim Woodbine.

[A]

It's, like, not even her real life. It's just her acting character that has niched her like this. And I love it, truly. So. So he left the hospital after he realized that he could put lives at risk by his inability to respond to life and death situations. And this was a catalyst. Like, the catalyst for him leaving the hospital was because he was nearly exposed when an infant became critically unwell from oxygen deprivation. And he initially didn't understand the meaning or gravity of the situation. When the nurse informed him of a blue baby, like, blue baby, he was like, oh, okay, we got white ones, brown ones, yellow ones.

[B]

Blue face, baby.

[A]

Blue face baby. Bust down baby Yana. And they were like, no, the baby's dying. But I love that he was like, you know what? Nevermind.

[B]

He's like, I'mma get up out of here, y'. All. That's my time, y'. All. I'm Frank Williams. That's my time, y'. All. Y' all been good. Yeah, it's been.

[A]

The hospital's been great. Interns, y' all been great.

[B]

Shout out to Blueface, baby.

[A]

No. So he left after that. He said, okay, too much. We're leaving. So over the next two years, he bounced around from job to job. Eventually, Frank's past caught up with him when he settled down in Montpierre, France, which. Which is crazy, because that's France. Like, isn't that where, like, Roman Polanski went? I thought criminals went to France and they were Gucci. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So he had decided to live a straight life for a while after having reputably cashed $2.5 million in bad checks over the years. When a former girlfriend recognized his face on a wanted poster, she turned him into authorities.

[B]

Oh, just like an ex girlfriend.

[A]

See what happens when you don't treat women right? If you just respect women business.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Why would she do that to him?

[A]

She did the right thing. Look, you gotta respect women. I'm sure he was shady to her. He's like charismatic, you know, He a hoe. Anytime I hear charismatic, I hear like philanderer.

[B]

No, I'm charismatic sometimes. Well, yeah, well, to be fair is when I'm about to cheat. But, you know,

[A]

to be fair, it is what I am about to cheat. But.

[B]

But they don't know that judge me.

[A]

So, yes, like, I. I think that he probably did this woman dirty. He probably took some money out her purse.

[B]

Out her purse. No, he. No, he was. He was. He was classier that. No, he was. He was. Nah.

[A]

Frank feels like the kind of guy where you wake up from yalls wild night. You gotta check your wallet.

[B]

No. Yeah, you're right. He'll take $20, he'll go get lunch, he'll come back, forget the change. Lunch only cost $2. Because he scammed them after lunch and kept them.

[A]

Right. Exactly. Like, that's the kind of guy we're dealing with. So, hey, you gotta treat women right. So unfortunately, his girlfriend recognized him and she snitched. I'm not mad. So this is how he got caught. He served time in France.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

In harsh confines of Perpigan, where he became seriously ill. Sweden and the United States also pulled up to get him for his crimes, during which his father died.

[B]

Tom Hanks was the lead detective. That's right.

[A]

So Frank was eventually granted parole after several years from Petersburg, Virginia prison. He eventually found lecturing as a work and white. So basically, he found lecturing work as white collar crime specialist. So he's like, you know what? I'm gonna just make my business my business. And he's like, I'm gonna teach you guys how to be a doctor. Know what a blue baby is? Rob a gas station,

[B]

take $21.

[A]

But she tried to rob women. You date better than I. Y' all got wives.

[B]

Y' all got girlfriends and wives. Oh, you're gonna love this next course,

[A]

how to shake down your spouse. Slide one. Have a spouse. Everyone's done that.

[B]

Slide two. Shake her ass down. Step three, Success. Success.

[A]

All right, everyone. And we're clapping. And we're clapping. So in exchange for his freedom, the government told Frank that he had to educate them about his methods in order to prevent other people from defrauding authorities. Frank worked with the FBI for more than 30 years as one of the world's most foremost experts in document fraud, check swindling, forgery, and embezzlement. He started his own company, abnergail and Associates, which is. Which educates others on how to avoid becoming being fraud victims. And he has a podcast, okay. For ranking. Shout out to the pod universe. The podcast is called the Perfect Scam, y'. All. And look, don't. If y' all go listen to it, y' all still got to listen to me. Don't go over there and don't come back, okay?

[B]

Because you gotta bring. You gotta. You gotta be a guest on his show.

[A]

I need to get on the Perfect Scam.

[B]

You gotta be a guest on your show.

[A]

Guys, we gotta tag Frank. Guys, if you're out there, I know you're out there. Tag Frank Abnegal and get me on the Perfect Scam. I love him. Or get him on this show. Oh. Oh. I just got hot.

[B]

Okay. Okay. All right. You want me to give you some time?

[A]

I might need a little time. My window's also open and my AC is off because we're recording from home, so. So might also be there.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[A]

I am very excited. Frank, you're also a perfect scammer because you worked with the FBI for 30 years educating them about fraud. How much you know, did it take 30 years to tell him? Because I feel like you was probably spoon feeding the FBI information. You had to have been. He was like, I'm not going to spill all the tea up. He was like, you can get sips of this Lipton over 30 years.

[B]

Mm. Because he could have gave him that all. He could have gave him the whole rundown in a day, and then before you know it, his ass back in jail. Yeah, we don't need you no more. But he was, like, intriguing. This is only a mind. This is only a type of crime that a mind like mine could figure out over the next, I don't know, 30 years.

[A]

30 years. He's a genius. So he also forged a Harvard University law transcript and passed the Louisiana bar exam and got a job at Louisiana as a Louisiana state attorney. Here's my thing. He passed the bar, so. Yeah, I mean, he passed the bar.

[B]

And didn't he? Didn't he? He had a pilot, a pilot's license, so he knew how to actually fly a plane.

[A]

That's dope. Because if something had happened on the plane and they were like the pilots, they're incapacitated. Can anybody fly the plane? Like, at least he was in a fake uniform with real skills.

[B]

Right?

[A]

This man's a genius.

[B]

Right. Wait, so he. So he actually flew the planes, right? He didn't just hang out on the planes?

[A]

No, he hung out on the planes. He did not fly the planes.

[B]

Oh my Lord. This. I thought he.

[A]

No, because you know how pilots have to travel to get to their next like, flight. So they'll just hop on a plane and, you know, be sitting on the plane with the rest of us schmucks.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

So that's what he did.

[B]

So.

[A]

Wow. He told a flight attendant that he had briefly dated that he was also a Harvard Law School student. And she introduced him to a lawyer friend. After making a fake transcript from Harvard, he prepared himself for the compulsory exam. So he failed twice. But then the third time he passed. Wow.

[B]

What he probably did was just memorize the questions and then looked up.

[A]

Right? You're right. He scammed the test. He was like, oh, now I know what these questions are. And now I know the answers. Wow. So obviously to wrap this up, Steven Spielberg made a film about this called Catch Me if youf Can. If you guys want to watch it for more details, you know Leonardo. Wait, Christopher Walk. Christopher Walken got an Oscar nod for the role that he played in it. Not Leonardo.

[B]

Frank, where you're going this time? That's not my Christopher Walken impression. But that's what he did in the movie.

[A]

Such a good Christopher Walken.

[B]

I'm one of the greatest Christopher Walken impersonators. I do it on Hollywood Boulevard

[A]

next to Spider Man.

[B]

Hey, yeah. Hey, Spidey. Hey, where you going?

[A]

It's fantastic. So guys, all in all, Frank, say his last name. Cuz I can't. Please.

[B]

Jackson. Abigail.

[A]

That's probably one of his last names. Ab. Nigel Frank Abnegale. Shout out to a king. You know you came, you saw, you robbed. And I Stan. Alright guys, we'll be back after one tiny break of non scam advertisements. Robbery and fraud. All right, guys. And we're back. And it's time for the saddest portion of the show. Which is where I have to let Lamorne go. It's time for Scammer of the week. This is where we just honor one honorary charlatan who's worthy of our praise.

[B]

Is it me?

[A]

You are an honorary charlatan. You are worthy of our praise. But this week it's actually a woman. Lamorne, I know you like Tim of course, of course.

[B]

You're the country we're in,

[A]

so. And she is a queen. Her name is Brittany Bridges, which like the alliteration, the flavor of her name.

[B]

BB Queen.

[A]

Bb. And Bebe is accused of doing fake dentistry. And this really struck a chord in my heart because I've been seeing posts on Facebook in which I only keep Facebook to keep up with my problematic as high school friends and relatives. I don't actually use Facebook, but I kept seeing posts on Facebook that were like, I do braces.

[B]

That said what?

[A]

I do braces. Oh, my Lord.

[B]

Oh, my son of a virgin. Dear God.

[A]

And I've always been confused, like, what, what do you mean you do braces? Because that's. Are you an orthodontist? I don't think you could just. You could do braids, you could do hairs.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I do braces.

[B]

No, you don't. Oh my goodness.

[A]

We should not be getting braces at a residential home. We should not. You can't do braces in your living room.

[B]

So I do braces.

[A]

Britney's been arrested before, but to date there are no current charges filed against against her about these latest complaints. Dentists at Children's Hospital Uptown and Louisiana State University Dental School are concerned with patients heading to their clinics. They said they've noticed an uptick in patients coming in who sought care from non licensed providers. They said once you start moving teeth, it gets to the point where you could cause long term disfigurement and they're worried about public safety. So this is a woman that basically they're like, we put a red flag out on her, but she's a queen who's not been caught. She's not going to jail. There's no current charges. They said, unfortunately the state board can't do anything about this because she doesn't have a license. So we are a regulatory agency that can sanction dentists or hygienists, but when it's an unlicensed person performing dentistry, we have no jurisdiction. All we can do is turn it over to law enforcement.

[B]

Wow. Wait, so wait, wait, where is she now?

[A]

She's still on Instagram. She has an Instagram account called Bossy Smiles.

[B]

Bossy Smiles, oh my God.

[A]

And they advertise braces maintenance, veneers and other type of dental work.

[B]

Yo. Certified dental assistant and teeth whitening technician giving you a smile to match your attitude.

[A]

You know, she's all the IG girls Instagram teeth she probably like. And also we have a special going on this month and if you Want to get ass shots with show dental reconstruction?

[B]

And I can make your teeth removable, too, in case you need to. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Oh, like, were you. Where did you get your eyebrows lasered? Oh, girl, I went to Bossy Smiles. They did my brows and my teeth in two hours flat.

[B]

Girl, I think she do massage, too. I'm over here looking at this.

[A]

I'm like, what is this?

[B]

You do massage?

[A]

No.

[B]

All I see is ass cheeks, boss and smiles.

[A]

What are you doing? I need you not to do a profession. You can't do massage. That's not.

[B]

Yo, where does fool's shirt at, like, money in here with no shirt on, bruh.

[A]

See, I told you they got specials they running. This is crazy. Why he don't got a shirt on? Is he getting his teeth done? I'm confused.

[B]

He getting his teeth whitened with a happy ending. Oh, no. What is going. Where is the. Oh, my God. People. Okay, I'm done.

[A]

Listen, but the cops haven't got to them yet. I don't want them to. I. I don't want y' all to go get y'. All. If anybody's doing braces, don't get your braces done. That's not what's supposed to happen. Go to an orthodontist if you can't afford that. There's so many affordable ways to do it. Invisalign, like, or, you know, they selling Invisalign on Instagram now. Like, guys, we're just.

[B]

Oh, my God, I'm dying at this account. Oh, God. Okay.

[A]

All right, so I'm hoping.

[B]

I'm hoping she got her life together. And you know what? What if. What if the page was Bossy Smiles with a Z? I would. I would shit myself.

[A]

Bossy Smiles. Bossy smiles, honey. So, guys, I love you. I want you to scam, but please, please don't start doing braces or anything that you're not qualified to do. We're all qualified to scam. I do hearts.

[B]

I do hearts.

[A]

I do livers.

[B]

I do kidneys.

[A]

Y' all don't go to dialysis no more because I do kidneys. So you just come to my house, get your kidneys dead. I'm doing kidneys. I get your kidneys dead. No, no. But as always, guys, if you want to reach us, scamgodesspodmail.com, snitch on your friends and family. Just make sure the scam is retired, because we don't want to fuck up your bag. If you want to find me D. I V A L A C I Diva Lacey on all platforms. And if you want Lamorne, where do you want to be found and what do you want people to find? That's what we asked.

[B]

Find me on Instagram at Lamorne. L A M O R N E. The Lamornin after pill is out right now. Desperados Coming soon. Woke. Coming soon.

[A]

Yes, coming soon. All right, congregation, stay.