The Science Grant Grifter with Aparna Nancherla

Summary

Detailed Summary: "The Science Grant Grifter" — Scam Goddess w/ Aparna Nancherla

Podcast: Scam Goddess
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Aparna Nancherla
Air Date: December 29, 2020

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Episode Overview

This episode of Scam Goddess, hosted by the ever-energetic Laci Mosley, welcomes comedian and actress Aparna Nancherla for a hilarious and insightful dive into academic fraud, personal scam encounters, and the fine art of hustling. The main story is that of “Professor Han,” an accomplished scientist who fleeced over $1 million in federal research grants, but Mosley and Nancherla also talk about everyday scams, the ethics of low-stakes fraud, and why scamming often runs in the family. All this is delivered with irreverent humor and sparkling chemistry.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Vibe Check & Scam Allegiances

[00:00–05:35]

• Laci and Aparna meet for the first time, commiserating about the unnatural vibe of Zoom and remote podcasting.
• Laci asks Aparna about her relationship to scams—whether she relates to the scammer or the victim.
  • Aparna: “I really admire people who hustle really well and can just kind of convince people of anything … but I relate more to the people who fall for scams because I’d say I am one of those people.” [02:23]
• Aparna shares nearly falling for a tax scam and jokes about authority and the illusion that “rules don’t apply to me.”

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2. What’s Hot in Fraud — Listener Scam Letters

[05:50–27:13]

• Laci introduces the “What’s Hot in Fraud” segment, reading a listener letter from "Margot Fairchild" about a common workplace email scam where a fake boss requests gift cards.
  • [11:23] Margot receives an urgent email, “My boss asked me to stop what I was doing and text him my cell phone number…”
  • [12:58] Laci and Aparna speculate on how scammers select and contact targets, referencing LinkedIn and email manipulation.
• Extended riffing on workplace hierarchy, capitalism, and absurd office culture.
  • Laci: “If you gotta set up a folding table, that means you don’t got no office. Your office is everywhere. You moving too much.” [15:12]
• Critical discussion of companies asking consumers to “round up” for charities at checkout, only to pocket the tax credit themselves.
  • Aparna: “That’s so evil. That’s like next-level evil, where it’s like, ‘We’re gonna seem like we’re philanthropists, but we’ll do it by taking your money.’” [07:54]
• Advice for recognizing workplace scams: trust your gut, verify email addresses, and don’t buy things with your own money on your boss’s say-so.
• Margot’s story concludes with a close call, and their analysis highlights how under capitalism, people stretch themselves for jobs, sometimes at personal risk.

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3. Historic Hoodwinks — The Science Grant Grifter: Professor Han

[28:01–54:48]

• The “Historic Hoodwinks” segment spotlights Professor Han, an acclaimed scientist at Purdue University, who along with his wife, executed a sprawling grant scam.

The Story Woven:

• Han’s impressive immigrant-to-professor trajectory: from farm and construction laborer in China to earning a doctorate at Oxford, then working at Purdue and publishing 200+ papers.
• Han founds “Han’s Tech,” aiming to develop “lightweight metals” (mostly for aerospace, automotive, and defense)—but with grants rolling in, he reroutes the money to personal real estate and family salaries.
• Scam Mechanics:
  • Han and wife purchase a house in her name ($116,000), then pay themselves $3,000/month in “office rent” from grant money.
  • Their minor children are placed on the payroll as “secretary” and “technical assistant,” earning $24,000 apiece.
  • Daughter does actual work (“She was really working. She was getting the metal!” [49:25])—blurring lines between scam and hustle.
• Investigation kicks off when a new homebuyer (Patricia Crowder) is contacted by the NSF and FBI about odd “smells and stains.”
• The Sentencing:
  • Han is put on probation, ordered to pay $1.35 million in restitution, plus fines and community service; wife and company penalized separately.

Commentary & Insights:

• Laci and Aparna riff on the ethics of the scam, reflecting on immigrant “do what you can” sensibility, family hustling, and who is really harmed.
  • Aparna: “I don’t really think he did anything bad… He just did it on a bigger scale.” [53:10]
  • Laci: “If I’m doing all this research for free, I should have my bills paid, and my kids should be able to go to college.” [54:43]
• Deep-dive into science funding, pressure on researchers, niche awards (“light metals subject award!” [38:27]), and the sexiness—or lack thereof—of STEM-themed dramas.
  • Aparna: “Metal processing. We’re coming for you.” [37:37]
• Jokes about office culture, scientists needing Instagram fame, and who is truly the original scammer (shout out to Barney the Dinosaur for “clean up” culture).

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4. Scammer of the Week — Disney World Refund Fraud

[54:48–62:59]

• Laci features Jennifer Alejandra, a former Disney World employee who scammed $160,000+ through fake refunds to friends and family.
• Jennifer’s job: resolving guest complaints with cash refunds or free tickets; she created 40+ fraudulent refunds in 2 years.
  • Laci: “Girl, I know Mickey’s somewhere smiling on you, girl.” [57:59]
• Law enforcement traced the funds via Facebook connections; friends received $24k, one relative did not question $18k in her account.
• Discussion of the Robin Hood aspect—stealing from Disney, redistributing to friends and family.
  • Aparna: “I think I like her too. I like that she’s spreading the wealth, right?” [62:55]
• Laci rails against people posting their criminal partnerships online: “Feds are on Mark Zuckerberg’s app. Y’all gotta stop posting!”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Aparna (on scams): “I blue-balled their scam. I don’t know if that’s a phrase people still use…” [21:34]
• Laci (about workplace scams): “If you hear things and you question yourself, that’s when you have to have a confident moment and be like, ‘How I feel is correct, what I think is right, and just stop.’” [20:51]
• Aparna (on family scamming): “That does feel like the natural pick. But then there are the people who are scamming their partners…” [29:12]
• Laci (on child labor): “I love an employed baby.” [47:31]
• Aparna (re: Disney scammer): “That’s like the farthest reach of, when you work at the Gap or something—you’re like, ‘You can use my discount.’” [62:00]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–05:35 — Vibe check & scam allegiances
• 05:50–27:13 — What’s Hot in Fraud/Listener letter (Workplace “gift card” scam)
• 28:01–54:48 — Historic Hoodwinks: Professor Han’s grant fraud
• 54:48–62:59 — Scammer of the Week: Disney World refund scam
• 63:13–End — Wrap-up, Aparna’s plugs, farewells

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Tone & Style

The episode is characterized by a playful, irreverent, and quick-witted banter. Both Laci and Aparna riff off each other, blending personal anecdotes with larger commentary on capitalism, employment, and the infinite inventiveness of scammers.

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Takeaways

• Scamming is often less about villainy and more about navigating desperate systems.
• The most successful (or audacious) scammers often turn family into accomplices.
• Everyday, low-level scams proliferate in work and retail environments, which Laci and Aparna dissect with empathy and humor.
• The episode reinforces Scam Goddess’s mission: Laugh at the chaos, dissect the con, and “stay scheming” (ethically).

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Find Aparna Nancherla:

• Instagram & Twitter: @aparnapkin
• Upcoming show: "The Great North" (animated, January premiere)

Find Laci Mosley:

• All platforms: @divalaci
• Podcast: @scamgoddesspod

Closing advice:
As always—Congregation, stay scheming!

Transcript

[A]

Scams. C. Robbery and frauds. Scams. Cause robbery and fraud. What's poppin, Congregation? We are back with another episode of Scam Goddess. I know my voice has been different a lot lately. I don't want you guys to get used to anything. I will shriek again. But right today, we were gonna keep it smooth jazz 100. Smooth jazz. My Venmo is. Did that. Did that sound good enough for you? Venmo?

[B]

Me?

[A]

I don't know, guys. Let's get to it. I am so. What? Yes. Excited for our guest. This is the first time that I am meeting this hilarious comedian, though I am very familiar with a lot of her work. Okay, we got the characters on here, honey. From Netflix. We got Space Force on Netflix. We've got. And I'm saying we've got. But this is, like, things that she's worked on you. You know what I mean? And she's got a lot of credits, honey. I want her IMDb in the. In the bitches full. Guys. On the podcast today, we have actress comedian Aparna Nanchala.

[B]

Hello. Hello.

[A]

How are you?

[B]

I'm good. It does feel. It feels pretty. I don't know, exciting to meet someone on a podcast for the first time.

[A]

Right. It's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kind of weird experiment that's happening, and it's been wonderful every single time.

[B]

Yeah. Plus, now it's like, everything is remote, so it really feels. You're like, what's it gonna be like?

[A]

Right. Cause you can't get vibes. Well, you can get vibes on Zoom, but it takes longer. I feel like the vibe check takes a little longer.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Everything takes twice as long on Zoom in terms of reading the other person.

[A]

Right. The vibe check is like, dial up. You just be there, like. Like, just. Just waiting. Just waiting. Partner, do you have any relationship with scams? Like, could. Do you consider yourself like a scammer? Do you feel like you sympathize with people who are scammed and you feel bad for them? Like, whose side are you on? And you don't have to be on anyone's side, because I'm not on anyone's side.

[B]

Okay. Well, I think I. I'm gonna be wild and say I'm on everyone's side in that I really. I really admire people who hustle really well and can just kind of convince people of anything, but. Because I don't have that ability at all. But I would say I relate more to the people who fall for scams because I would say I am one of those people.

[A]

Oh, really? You Think you're one of those people? Wait, have you ever been scammed?

[B]

I mean, all. Like, I almost felt for one, but then I hung up the phone. I fell for one of those tax scams where they're like, we are the FBI and we're going to come to your house if you don't give us your credit card info. And I was fully. Was like, they're gonna get me. I gotta give them the information.

[A]

That's flavorful. I love. I love that scam. But I also love that you did one of the things that's literally on the website, which was hang up. It's like the first tip. It's like, to avoid scammers. They're like, hang up. And you did it. You did it.

[B]

But I did it so late. Like, I did it, like, right before I would have. It would have been too late.

[A]

Well, wait, Apara, where are you from?

[B]

I'm from outside Washington, DC.

[A]

Outside D.C. okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you feel like it was, like, like more urban area or, like, more of a suburban area? If it was outside D.C. it's probably the burbs, right?

[B]

Yeah, fully the burbs.

[A]

Okay, Cool, cool, cool. So I feel like he's probably following a lot of rules and.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But this was in this. I mean, this scam happened in la.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm saying, like, that's your. Like, that's where you came from. Right. So, like, those are my roots. Like, all that shit was just, like, up the street when you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Outside of tc.

[B]

Yes. So I was like, I gotta respect that authority.

[A]

I love that. I love that. I hate authority. I like it. For everyone else, though, there would be chaos if we all abandoned it, but if everybody else follows the law, I don't have to.

[B]

Right, Right. That's a good. That's a good way to live in Germany.

[A]

Honestly, that's the American way.

[B]

I am the exception to the rul.

[A]

Right. That's the whole reason. Oh, my gosh. I was tweeting about this. Cause I feel like such a. Like, a pretentious person to tweet about. Like, why are. You know, why are the working class, like, why are we paying all this money in taxes and blah, blah, blah? Because everyone wants to be a billionaire and nobody realizes that they're not going to be one. And, like, I have to find the tweet. There's a guy named Preston on Twitter who did a music video. I'll find it. I'll retweet it on my Twitter page for y'. All. Where he was like. Every time I see like a broke person, like capping or like caping for like a billionaire, I imagine that this is like the beginning of their musical.

[B]

Ooh, yeah.

[A]

I wanna be just like you, Daddy moneybags.

[B]

Yeah. Cut to Act 3.

[A]

So I get like. How did I get on that tangent? I don't even know, bro.

[B]

Oh, just in that we all think we're like the hero of the story and things don't apply to us. That applies to the chorus or the background.

[A]

And that was the vibe check. And the vibes are good because wow, I was not gonna come. I wasn't gonna come back and I was just gonna leave it there. And that would really piss people off.

[B]

I'm not. But that I feel like I set a false precedent. Cause I'm not usually the person who could keep track of all the threads. So I don't know how.

[A]

Oh no, I'm fully leaning on you now. So.

[B]

Okay, great, great.

[A]

Well, let's get into our first segment, what's Hot and Fraud? If you are a new listener, then what's Hot and Fraud is just a segment where we warn you guys about what's poppin in the scam community in the zeitgeist. Okay. A fraud. And sometimes we read your. Actually most of the time now we read your listener letters and we just get to hear about what shenanigans you're getting involved in. As always, guys, if you want to share a scam story on the podcast, scam got his pod gmail.com snitch on your friends and family. Just make sure your bag is retired because we don't want to. We don't want to ruin the scam if you got it fully in motion. Okay. And also, also I'm going to try to keep them ethical because I read one the other day about returning Amazon books and you could just return Amazon books, but what Amazon does is like Jeff Bezos shows up to the author's house and he's like, hey girl. Hey Roxane Gay. Turns out the girls aren't hungry and we're going to have to charge you for it.

[B]

What?

[A]

What do you mean? Yeah, like they take it like audible takes it back from the author. They don't just eat the charge. So if you get an online from like Amazon, you can return it. Being like, I don't know, I didn't like it. And like, yeah, I shouldn't talk about this again because I told you guys I might have to take this out.

[B]

Who's out here returning audiobook I know

[A]

it's the nerdiest scam, but also, I learned that it really hurts authors. So guys, don't do that. Authors are out here struggling to get their coin. Jeff Bezos is playing them. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. That seems very cheap on Amazon's part, right?

[A]

It's gross.

[B]

They don't need the money.

[A]

They surely do not. Oh, a recent thing I learned about Amazon before I read this letter is that. And this is like, every store, apparently, when you are cashing out, and they're like, would you like to donate to the Red Nose Fund? Like, or would you like to round your dollars up to $7 so we can give some things to the cancer? And, like, you do it because you're like, oh, yeah, I do want to donate. But they take all of our donations, and then they file a donation in their. Take the tax credit.

[B]

So that's so evil. That's like, next level evil, where it's like, we're gonna seem like we're philanthropists, but we'll do it by taking your money.

[A]

Right? I just. I never knew that. And when I found that out, I was appalled. So now I'm like, I'm torn. Do I just not give them the extra quarter or do I just like, I can't.

[B]

You can't anymore. Now you know the truth. That's. Now I. Now I realize that's what Duane Read is doing, because they do the same thing. They're like, do you want to round up your purchase and we'll give a mask to a child or whatever it is.

[A]

It's always to a child. But that's the thing is, like, I thought I was doing this cute thing this whole time, and I was like, look at these companies giving back. No, they just playing us. I'm gonna start doing that myself after this. At the end of this podcast, I'm like, do y' all want to donate a quarter to children? Get my tax write offs popping.

[B]

Okay, I know.

[A]

And it will be vague. It will be children.

[B]

Just children as a whole.

[A]

Like, look, kids are cool. We like kids, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's honestly the best human form is when we're kids. We're nice and innocent. We're cute. We maybe dance. Like, yeah. It all goes downhill from there. So, guys, wait. I said I was gonna read a letter, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'll do what is promised. So let's get into it. This. I need a fake name. Apartheid. That's what I need from you.

[B]

I'm gonna say Margot.

[A]

Margot Ooh.

[B]

Oh, did you want a last name too?

[A]

Oh, throw me one if you got one.

[B]

Margot Fairchild.

[A]

Margot Fairchild sounds very rich. Margot Fairchild invented a watercress sandwich.

[B]

You're right. Oh, my God. Watercress and a sandwich.

[A]

Right?

[B]

And reinventing the game.

[A]

Right? She. Margot. Margot definitely has a tee every, you know, Sunday where she demands a dress code and judges everyone. I like Fairchild already. So Margot Fairchild says, hey, Lacey, this just happened to me this morning, and I had to tell you about it.

[B]

Wow. I love a prompt Emailer just has the idea to email emails. That's like, not me. Two years late on the emails.

[A]

Same. Oh, gosh. I'm really bad with emails. Like bumping. This is. That happens to me. Everybody's bumping all the time.

[B]

Everyone is being marked as unread.

[A]

Oh, no, I do that too. There's so many stars.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

I wish they had that for text message. Yes. That's why I leave my rent receipts on.

[B]

That's what your fortune is gonna be marking text as on rent.

[A]

Oh, let me call up Tim Apple. I'm trying to get a coin from him. I can't believe he hasn't done that already. But yeah, but, yeah. We get the same phone over and over again. Tim don't got nothing for the girls. He was like, look, I know my last name is Cook, but we order it now. And Apple iPhones have nothing for y' all anymore. We not cooking nothing.

[B]

He's like, here's two free. Two new emojis that you don't need now.

[A]

Spend $900 for them. Okay? Now, the iPhone can turn into an explosive device if we need to do that in your home. It's like, I feel like I was just trying to get information and be all in my business, but you're not giving me no features.

[B]

No, come on, Tim.

[A]

Tim, what are you cooking? Get to work. Get in the kitchen, Tim. God damn. So we got a prompt email from Margot Fairchild. She says, I was at work, and I received an email from my boss about an urgent task. My boss asked me to stop what I was doing and text him my cell phone number, and he would give me all the details. So she didn't read the full email, and she sent this person her cell,

[B]

but it's her boss. So you would think, like, okay, I can trust this person. I work for them.

[A]

Right? Like, the email probably looked close enough. I've talked. If you are OG listener, you know that we've talked about this scam before. It was happening to teachers a lot, and it's kind of now branched out to any industry where people can get on LinkedIn and get your professional email address. So then they get on. They can on the Gmails or they get on the Whatever, and they just make. Right. They just put, like, one little period or make one little thing different. And if you're not looking carefully, how would you know?

[B]

How would you know? And it's your boss, so you're like, oh, I got to do what they said. Mm.

[A]

And that's so interesting to me because it's like, how do you find out that this is a subordinate employee? Like, were you on the company website And.

[B]

Good point. Yeah. How do they do that?

[A]

Because they have.

[B]

They look at your position on LinkedIn, they're like. They seem like they. They're not in charge.

[A]

Like, you click on the company, it's like they sue. All these suits look like they came from Express, So I'm gonna guess that you are not making as much money as your balls. No, Shade. Margot. No Shade. We. I'm sure it's not. What happened to you?

[B]

I had a friend who put in his LinkedIn thing that he was the CEO of LinkedIn, but he spelled it, like, a little differently. But then people kept contacting him, being like, can you help me get more visibility for my business?

[A]

Wow. Imagine wanting to get more visibility for your business and thinking, I should contact the CEO of LinkedIn. Cause he's definitely. He definitely gonna know how to get my algorithm popping. Okay.

[B]

That's like, he's gonna up my connections and endorse me for life.

[A]

Right? That's like me calling Mark Zuckerberg, and I'm like, look, I keep posting these thirst traps. I'm trying to get into the 20% of likes. Like, do you think I should show more ass? Or

[B]

I love people who want help, and they just go to the. All the way to the top.

[A]

All the way to the top. We joke about that on another episode with a terrible, problematic rapper, Lil Boosie, who literally was tweeting at a fake Mark Zuckerberg account because Mark Zuckerberg doesn't have Twitter. And he was like, mark Zuckerberg, get me back on Twitter. Help me, Mark Zuckerberg. It's like,

[B]

oh, no.

[A]

But I love to. I like the ambition of thinking that that person's so free, they can definitely help you. So we don't know how Margot got found out. We don't know how she. So I guess on LinkedIn, you do give a lot of information about your personal business life. And then maybe that's how they got the information. Because I know I have a LinkedIn, but as an actor, I. I never really felt it necessary. So I just had it from college. I think it says, I sell class rings for battlefield class.

[B]

Wow. I didn't even think of the idea that class rings are sold by someone. Like, that's their job. I was like, they just came from the earth or something.

[A]

From the earth. That's because you never seen them in a store. Because they're a scammer thing. It's a scammer job. Anytime you got to set up a folded table, you doing fraud. Okay? That's all I gotta say. Because if you gotta set up a folding table, that means you don't got no office. Your office is everywhere. You moving too much.

[B]

That's just we work and we work was a scam. You're right.

[A]

That shit fell apart.

[B]

The theory is true.

[A]

Cause they wasn't working up in there.

[B]

No, they were not.

[A]

They said we work. Well, y' all pay bills. We just here, like. But we gonna say we work. So then they gonna think, like, they won't think about what we do.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

It's like, you know what? We work. What are they really doing for us? Like, we just rented space. No, no, no. They're working because remember, they said we. They didn't say you work. So we don't know how exactly, but this scammer has figured out that this person is employed by this boss and sends it through this fake email. So you know what?

[B]

You know what? I think maybe the way they. Maybe they didn't even know what Margo's position was. Maybe it's kind of like guys on online dating apps sometimes, where they just message the most people and then some people will answer. But it's just a numbers game. It's like we're just gonna contact all these people, say we're the boss, and see who bites back.

[A]

You're right. And it has to be a numbers game, because we've seen this scam pop up in several different industries. So it's like you're just somehow getting listservs and then just being like, hey, girl, it's me, your boss. Hey, Queen, it's I, your boss. Yeah, you're right.

[B]

And then whoever is a boss might not answer, but they have an existential crisis. Cause I'm the boss.

[A]

Yeah. You get an email from you that's like, hey, girl, it's me. Us just need you to send me your phone number. For me, Girl, for you. That could confuse me for a moment. So Margo says that this scammer texts me and said that he was on a conference call and couldn't talk, but he needed me to get some gift cards for our clients and asked if I was near a CVS or a Walgreens. I thought this was odd since he knew at work but didn't give our. And, like, we don't give our clients gifts, but occasionally, maybe we did. So, you know, maybe it could have been true. So she was like, one. You should know what's near the office, because we work in the same office.

[B]

And also, like, if you aren't in the business of giving gifts, it doesn't seem like the one exception would be, like, well, we gotta get them this CVS gift card.

[A]

We gotta get them a gift card to Bass Pro Shop. The girls need the Home Depot, and

[B]

I'll make an exception just once for best protein, and they need it now.

[A]

Okay. I have never needed a Darden gift card more than, like, what I need to go to Outback. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Applebee's needs the business.

[A]

Exactly. Which, recently, I've seen a lot of videos online about Applebee's and people turning up at Applebee's. And I was like, I did not know Applebee's was the turnup spot. Like, there's places in cities where Applebee's turned into the club on weekends. Yeah, you gotta pay a $5 cover charge to go into an Applebee's.

[B]

But is it like, Applebee's after hours, or is it Applebee's regular hours, club vibe?

[A]

It's Apple. It's like, on the weekends, it's like the club, like, they just become the club. Can you believe this? And, like, they be having the drink specials, but I didn't know. I just thought it was always, like, I don't know, a place where you take your kids after the soccer game. Yeah, right. But they said eating good in the neighborhood, and then on the weekends, they said, throw that ass in the circle in the neighborhood.

[B]

I like that they're doing a hard pivot in terms of their brand.

[A]

I guess so. But it's so, guys, maybe. I don't know. Maybe we need to go back to Applebee's. When they open the restaurants, y' all been dying to get to an Applebee's, which I don't understand. I would not die for Applebee's.

[B]

Maybe they felt like TGI Fridays was getting all the. The weekend crew. They were like, we gotta change up our strategy.

[A]

Yeah. Cause TGI Fridays, the whole Thing is, thank God it's Friday.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So they're getting the girls who are like, happy hour.

[B]

Yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

[A]

And Applebee's was like, you're eating good in the neighborhood. Also, we got a DJ playing Drake. So basically she's like, this is weird. So she decided to get up from her desk and see if her boss was in his office. Margo said that he was, and he was on the phone, but I was suspicious. So this actually worked out because, remember, he was like, I'm on a call. Right, Right. I guess in an office. Like, what's the percentage of likelihood that you are on a call? Like, probably high.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I feel like when you work at offices. Correct me if I'm wrong, y', all, because, you know, I don't work at offices. I feel like you get on the phone a lot.

[B]

It depends what you do. I used to work in a lot of offices. It depends what your job is. Some people, it's like most of their time is on the phone, but other people, their phone is getting dusty. Right.

[A]

Like, I'm trying to think of the independent office jobs where you just are, like, on the computer. Did there have to be some. I don't know what they are. Yell them at the radio. I can't hear you, but I do want to know. So she's like, okay, well, he's on the phone. The scammer said, I'm on the phone. Okay, cool. But he already had some weird questions. So she told the person that the scammer that she was talking to that she wasn't near a store. And they asked if she could look one up on Google.

[B]

They're making her do a lot of work.

[A]

Right. And also, I'm like, if you. You could just look it up on Google, that means you could have did it yourself. Like, guys, when you hear things and you question yourself, like, that's when you have to have a confident moment and be like, how I feel is correct what I think is right, and just stop. Like, you did a partner. Like, you just hung up. You were like, you. You entertained for a bit, like Margo. But at the end, you were like, just tell the FBI to pull up.

[B]

Well, then when I hung up, they called me back, like, 20 times in a row. And I just couldn't pick. Like, the more they called me, the more I was like, this is not real.

[A]

Yeah. The desperation of them. You know what it is? Because they got you so close.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I blue balled their scam. I don't know if that's an expression people still use.

[A]

It is. It is. I want to use it specifically for scams. I blue balled the scam.

[B]

I'm into scam edging.

[A]

I'm a scam edgelord. Yes. Honestly, a lot of people who listen to this podcast are. Because I was like, are edgelords for scams? Like, because they want to know. Oh, or edgelords. What if I knew that? I throw that on the survey. Age, name, demographic.

[B]

Are you an edgelord?

[A]

Just, you know, we need to know. I feel like people would tell me, but yeah, it's like they like to get. It's like me, like, they like to get close to the end of the scam because you just want to know what the girls are doing.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly.

[A]

This is fascinating. Now it's a case study.

[B]

Right? Right.

[A]

So I. I fully understand this. So Margot immediately went back to her desk, she says, and read the email address and noticed that it was not from my boss's company email. I forwarded it to his real email and asked him to confirm if it was him.

[B]

So, okay, she's doing it. She's following her gut. I like it.

[A]

Honestly, this is capitalism. Because buying gift cards, Margo, buying gift cards don't sound like it's a part of your job description. Yeah, but because you need your job, Margo, I can tell you need your job. You were like, I don't know. Let me go and check. Okay. He. I'm peer through the window. Okay, he is on the phone call. All right, Let me give my Sherlock Holmes feather cap on. Where's my magnifying glass? And like, I gotta go look for clues. Like, she emails him. She's like, this. You like, like she's doing so much work when she could have just been like, no, no, this seems weird. I'm not gonna do it.

[B]

I can't believe I still. I think I'm reeling that the boss was on the phone. Like, it feels like chills that he was on the phone like they said he would be.

[A]

Right. So you're right. Well, so she's. She forwards the email. Right. Turns out it wasn't the boss. Duh. And it was a scam. The person had been targeting people in our company by using my boss's name. Don't know if they got any of my other co workers, but I'm glad it wasn't me. And today is payday. Love the show. Thanks. Oh, so you was gonna have to buy it with your own coin? Like, you weren't even gonna. I'm not buying it.

[B]

The idea was she would buy it and then she would get reimbursed for something. Yes.

[A]

I'm not buying nothing on the company dime.

[B]

No.

[A]

And like to say the capitalism thing to round that up, because I know I said it and then didn't fully explain. Like, we need our jobs so badly that we're willing to do so much to keep them. And that setup is wrong. Like, I was watching reading on Twitter. Clearly I'm on Twitter a lot. There was a person who had posted a text thread with their boss and their grandmother unfortunately had passed away and they had stepped out from work and their manager texted them and was like, hey, you're supposed to be here at 11am like, where are you? Blah, blah, blah. He was like, oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't even think to call. My grandmother died. And the first thing the manager said was, is, okay, well that's fine. But in the future, just like as soon as you can give us notice. And it's like, no, you put that in the following. Humanity. No humanity. Like, we are cogs and wheels. That's why I always say, don't give two weeks notice unless you think you really gonna need a reference for your next job. Like, you know, when you quit, just be like, I quit this bitch. Cause that's what they would do to you. They wouldn't be like, in two weeks we gon fire your ass.

[B]

Right, right, right. It's like, why doesn't two weeks notice work for the other way?

[A]

Right? Like, or even in restaurants. Like, if a restaurant knows it's going under, they don't tell any employees because they know they might steal. So you just show up thinking you got a job and it's a chain on the door, girl, and it's locked up forever.

[B]

That is so sinister. Yes.

[A]

They do it in New York all the time. I think it happened to me. I was going to the job and I was like, to the job house. Like, get off my J train.

[B]

I like that you said, I think it happened to me. Like you blocked it out like a repressed memory

[A]

and it was just some chains on that bitch. I was like, wait a minute, the job left. Like, they could have called you before the shift started. Like, what? Like they.

[B]

That also just sounds like the beginning of like a horror movie where you're like, did I work here? What?

[A]

Oh, see, from the minds of Aparna Nanchana. Okay, get your Jordan Peele on, girl. Get y' all get you get your locked out movie. It's not get out. It's locked out.

[B]

Yeah, locked out.

[A]

Oh, my. Yeah. No. So what I meant by that, to sum that up, was just like, look at how far, you know, she went. Because she was like, I need this job, even though this is not my job description. And also, sadly, there are people who would buy things. There are people who do buy things for their jobs when it's like the job should be paying for all the tools to get the job done.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

Like I'm just here to bring the vibes. Yeah.

[B]

I almost feel like they're not allowed to make you pay for stuff with your own money because it's like it has to come out of there.

[A]

You would think that. But in America, I know it's all about loopholes. I mean, the teachers be bringing their own supplies for the children. I was like, oh my God, you gotta go buy your own construction paper to make the bulletin board. Oh, no.

[B]

Oh no.

[A]

The American education system, the ghetto. So I just find this very interesting. So thank you so much for sending in this story. Margot, we love you. I'm glad you didn't get scammed. Yeah, I'm glad you were really thorough. I imagine this just being like some espionage type shit, like you went and spied on your boss and it's. It's really fun. So I'm glad that you didn't get stammed though, girl. And as always, if you guys want to write in and tell us about your schemes and your scams, that's scamgottispodmail.com. we're gonna take a break for some non scam advertisements. We'll be right back with Historic Hoodwinks Scams hunt. And we're back. And it's time for my favorite segment of the show, Historic Hoodwinks.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

What if I did that every week, you guys would hate me. I didn't even try. But guys, this time for Historic Wings, I'm going to regale Aparna with a famous caper or con man. And we're just gonna get her opinions throughout, you know, see if she's liking it. You know, sometimes we love them, sometimes we don't. That's just the way of the world. So we have Professor Hahn and his. I'm just gonna call him Professor Han just so I don't butcher his first name. Professor Hahn and his research company, which he ran out of his garage, defrauded federal research funds for over $1 million for their own personal expenses. And by they, they mean him and his wife.

[B]

Wow. Two person operation.

[A]

And you Know we like to keep it small.

[B]

I know that feels like a key part of a scam. You gotta keep it. Keep the circle tight, right?

[A]

And honestly, you should scam with your partner. Like, if you're married to someone, you should scam with that person. Cause y' all got spousal privilege. You know, Y' all probably got a joint bank account. Like, it just feels like that's who you should be doing robbery with is, like, whoever you choose to love.

[B]

That does feel like the natural pick. But then there are the people who are scamming their partners.

[A]

That's the same thing to me. That's not love. What you mean love isn't like pin and rounding number? Cause that's what I want my vows to be is you just recite your Social Security, your pin, and your rounding number to me. And your favorite childhood pet,

[B]

your mother's maiden name. Mm.

[A]

Need that. Gotta have that if we're really in love. Your grandmother's mating name. So before Professor Han was a professor, he was a young boy in China that moved from place to place due to religious persecution and poverty. He worked as a farmer and construction worker until he graduated high school. So, you know, Professor Hahn was out here hustling.

[B]

He really was. I can't believe he hadn't even graduated high school. He already had two careers.

[A]

And I told y', all, if your kid has too many careers in high school, they might be a scammer. Okay? Kids who are that interested in money, they like crime.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Cause most kids just ask for what they want, but, you know, if the kid is like, no, no, no. I really would like to make money, and it's not necessary for the household. You need to look into your job.

[B]

I'm gonna need a little more allowance this month because my business didn't come through right.

[A]

I'm doing bitcoin. Yeah. In between periods, I sell bitcoin to people. So he works real hard, right? At 20, Han earned a bachelor's and master's degree in meta allergy at. two technical universities in China.

[B]

Wait, meta allergy?

[A]

No, I said that wrong. It's metallurgy, yo, I need.

[B]

I thought it was, like, a philosophical approach to allergy.

[A]

I'm still not saying it right. I know. I'm not maturlogy. You know what I was just gonna say? Normally, I say it real quick. I don't know why I put so much stank on it when I knew I did not know how to pronounce it. I was like, imettaralogy. Y' all know meta allergies. That's when you. When you met her. And you also need Benadryl for your allergies. Y'. All, I went to college, I swear. Anyway, so he's double, you know, degreed up from universities in China. He was the assistant professor at a university in Beijing for several years before he was accepted into the doctoral program in material science at Oxford University. Ooh, Oxford. Okay, you smart.

[B]

He just already lived a life, right?

[A]

I'm like, you went to all the schools. Like, that's a lot of schools. But yeah, now you say it like, also at 20, he got a bachelor's and a master's.

[B]

That's not even four years of college, Right?

[A]

He was doing college. Like, he came in there and worked college hard. We love to see.

[B]

That was his first scam, Right, because

[A]

then you can get it cheaper, I guess, if you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. One year less, right?

[A]

So then he goes to Oxford, where he got his doctorate. So now he's Dr. Han. Yes, Dr. Han. Dr. Han was hired as a professor. Dr. Professor Han. That sounds like a cartoon show.

[B]

It's me coming to Adult Swim.

[A]

Dr. Professor Hannah. It's definitely on Adult Swim. So Han was hired as a professor in the Department of Mechanical Engineering and Technology at Purdue in 2007. So now he's made it to the states, and he's at Purdue.

[B]

Where is Purdue again?

[A]

I want to say. Oh, is it. I want to say Malibu.

[B]

Oh, I was going to guess, like, Kentucky or something.

[A]

Let me look at. Let me see. Indiana. Okay.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I was really wrong.

[B]

Okay, we both got it, y'. All.

[A]

Oh, Pepperdine is in Malibu. Okay, that's what I was thinking of. Okay. God, I just sound so dumb on this episode. Why haven't even been listening to this bitch? She's stupid. Usually I have some facts for the girls. I be having some things for y', all, but, you know, today I'm just so. Purdue. Yeah.

[B]

Hey, we can't all be Dr. Professor Han.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not Dr. Professor Han, okay? I don't have 50, 11 degrees. I have one and maybe two or three scam degrees. So I think I just like rhyming Malibu with Purdue. Anyway, so he goes to Purdue in 2007. So he's in Indiana. Hahn published more than 200 articles, mentored dozens of Purdue students, led colleagues in over 30 research projects funded by public and private sponsors, and was the go to person for solving light metal processing issues in manufacturing. You know, light metal processing issues. You know what those are? No, I will explain what they are. So Professor Hans had a small business, and it was called Hans Tech, which I don't know about that name. We'll let you have it. Hans Technology, company of technology.

[B]

Well, he didn't have a degree in naming things. I guess you're right.

[A]

He has his things. He has his meta turlogy. I have my naming things. We all have our lanes. So much of the company's research dealt with strengthening of the lightweight metals used in aerospace, defense, and automotive industries, according to the grant award abstracts. So basically, that's like, when we fly into space, the girls need the ship to be light, but they need it to be strong.

[B]

And I'm like, is this a metaphor?

[A]

No, it's not. That was me really giving you guys my educated explanation of lightweight metals and how you get them. I'm also just very pissed off about space in general. Like, we literally just Space Force. Call back to your show. But, like, why are we going to space? Like, there's a pandemic. Can we just fix that first? Like, Elon Musk is like, no, we going to the moon, y'. All. Elon Musk I'm convinced, is a scammer.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I feel like every billionaire is. Is a scammer, right?

[A]

He had one good lane, which was making the Tesla, and then he started wilding. I feel like he's like the Kanye of Silicon Valley, where he was just like, I can do anything.

[B]

I am part God. Right?

[A]

Because that's how he ended up making that ugly ass Tesla truck is because, like, that's like the equivalent of Kanye's new shoes that just look crazy. They're just like, people will buy anything I make. I am a genius. So now he's like, to the moon. And I'm like, girl, please stop giving this man money to go to the moon. If black people said we wanted to go to the moon, y' all would never give us money for that. Even if we said we'd stay there, you'd be like, no, we can't believe that black people would go to the moon.

[B]

It's too. It's too real. I can't even add a joke.

[A]

Oh, no, it's fine. I have to joke about it. That's how I stay alive. So according to a Purdue webpage on Han, he oversaw the metal casting labs as well as research relating to the product of metals. We all know what these things are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know how I be in the metal casting lab? Okay. I imagine it just like Grey's Anatomy. It's like a bunch of white coat scientists just, like, getting horny for each other while they're, like, fucking with the metals their hands touch accidentally. Next thing you know, they're in the scrap lodge making out.

[B]

They're really painting a scene. I love it.

[A]

I want this for them. I want. I hope that scientists, like, we need a horny drama about scientists that's just like. They're just in the lab with the beakers, but it's, like, somehow so sexy. I want that.

[B]

That. Yeah, I'm. I'm here. I would watch it.

[A]

I just feel like every industry has to be sex that. We've seen the law so many times.

[B]

We've seen the hospitals, seen police.

[A]

Yep. We've seen the police. We've seen firefighters. Yeah.

[B]

Metal processing. We're coming for you.

[A]

We're Gonna get there 20, 21. The horniest drama of all. So we basically. We just talked about how the Purdue webpage described his jobs. Hans Tech, that's his company, was also fortunate enough to be the recipient of multiple grants from the nsf, National Science Foundation, Small Business Technology Transfer, and Small Business Innovation Research programs. So basically, this is like, if the girls are smart, but they don't have the coins, then we come in and we give them the coins so that they can make the things that we need. So during his time at the university, Hans received the 2007 Light Metals subject Award. Award. What a niche award.

[B]

Wow. It's so specific and honestly. But I would love to be a fly on the wall at that awards dinner.

[A]

Right. Do you think they have an open bar? Are they just serving red and white? Is it in a Marriott? It's giving Marriott dining room, airport, Marriott, Marriott.

[B]

Basement vibe.

[A]

Not basement. They can't even get the dining room. That's where they have the weddings, girl. Okay. We do these light metal subject awards down in the basement near the extra plates.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I will say this gives me fomo, though, because I will never win this award. Like to know that there's an award that I truly could never win.

[B]

We're not in the running.

[A]

Yeah. What's life about, man? So I was awarded more than $300,000 in grants. So he got $300,000. Yeah.

[B]

In grants because of that one award.

[A]

Yeah. That's what comes with it when you win the award. They're like. And here's the coin with the award.

[B]

That's like. That's, like, more than a reality show.

[A]

Right. Also, like, y' all are calling it an award, but isn't it just a grant? Like, they do award you the grant, but I've never. You getting a plaque with it, too, or something?

[B]

Let them have this.

[A]

Okay? You right. I'm trying to take too much away from the scientists, and they don't deserve that. Okay? They've been working.

[B]

They don't have a lot. They don't get a procedural.

[A]

I will say, if you're a scientist right now and you're working on the vaccine, or even if you're not, like, get your Instagram popping, because the girls are horny for the vaccine. Like, I want to see you in the lab. Like, we got cultures, and I want to see you posing. Give me fits, okay? That's what I want. I want you in a Hazmat suit, giving the girls fashion. Like, this is your moment to become famous.

[B]

Because I think, like, this is your time.

[A]

Any random profession, someone can become famous if the stars all align. Like, Joe the Plumber. The most famous plumber ever. It just worked out. He was on a political campaign where they were hyping him up.

[B]

If it's gonna be anyone's year, it's gonna be The Vaccine Scientist 2020.

[A]

You gotta get. See, there's too many. Like, Moderna's working on it. Pfizer. So who was the original girl? Like, we need a show. We need you guys a fight. Like, I want to know who. Who was like, eureka,

[B]

Eureka. I have it.

[A]

That's how scientists talk, right?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

[A]

They all have spiky white hair. Like, oh. But, yeah, I want to know if I. I'm sorry. If I find the vaccine now, I'm tweeting immediately, like, I'm. I want my credit.

[B]

Yeah, that's, like, on Twitter, like, someone trying to take credit for a joke that 500 people made.

[A]

Right? Which there are some accounts that do that. I'm not gonna say no names, honey, but they have millions of followers. And I'm like. Like, you be stealing jokes. You stole my jokes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And sometimes, you know your joke's been stolen because it's so niche.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You couldn't have been thinking about this.

[B]

I love the idea that someone's going to come out of the woodwork after the vaccine comes out and be like, this was my vaccine.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I thought of this in my basement in 2017.

[A]

Honestly, if nobody comes out with it, I'm going to claim it. I'm a call Nobel and tell them I deserve the piece. Okay. Cause I did this.

[B]

I better be getting my medal. Soft Subject Award. I already forgot what it was.

[A]

Oh, the lightweight medals. Now that you say that, I'm like, maybe that's how I can sneak my way into getting that award. And I also would like another award that is unrelated, but I deserve. So the scam. Han and his wife Xiao used some of their funds to purchase a house in her name for $116,000. Which. Okay, yeah, they gotta be in Indiana. Cause you ain't getting no house for that in Los Angeles house. Okay.

[B]

Also, they took long enough to mention his wife.

[A]

Right, Right. Cause he was. He was being a bad boy, getting awards working on the farm. And so she. The house is in her name, of course, and she signed a lease with herself as the landlord for 3,000 per month. So she bought and then basically said, I'm gonna rent it out, and I'm the landlord and I'm charging myself $3,000 a month.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

It was later revealed that over $150,000 of the NSF grant money. Mind you, that's just the grant money that he got for the awards. Right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That award that we've never heard of. So that's half the money.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Because it was $300,000. So $150,000 of that grant money the company received was used to pay office rent at the location which was their home. You know how office rent be at your own home?

[B]

Oh, sure.

[A]

You know, you think that's what all

[B]

the dentists are doing, where it's like the office is just there, a different side of their house. You know what I'm talking about?

[A]

I do know what you're talking about. Because I'm from Texas, and all the dentist office in Texas look like somebody's house.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What if they live it upstairs?

[B]

It's all a scam.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. You might be onto something. Because they all do look like you pull up and you're like, is this somebody's crib? Like, are they about to do braces to me? Like, do they. Do they know what they doing? You are right about that.

[B]

Hmm.

[A]

Curious.

[B]

Curious.

[A]

I definitely say my office is in my house. Do you say your office is in your house?

[B]

Yeah. What do. I don't know any artists who have a different office. Office somewhere else.

[A]

Right. That's classy. That's when you start making money. Money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, so if your office is in your house, Aparna, how much are you charging yourself rent for your office?

[B]

You know, it depends. I'm on a month to month lease.

[A]

Not a month to month. Like, look, right now I'm not. I'm getting coronavirus A for my office rent. So separately from my house. Yeah, I'm sure somebody's doing it. So they did not inform the NSF that they were married, right? So mind you, like, basically he's now treating his wife like she's an employee too. So the office is their house, the wife is the employee. Like, this is like this.

[B]

This sounds like one of those logic puzzles.

[A]

It's a happy scamily. You know what I mean? Like, they were like, we're keeping it in the family. Okay, I love you, you love me. It's a happy scamily with a great big hug and a fraud from me to you. Shout out to Barney. One of the realest to ever do it.

[B]

One of the original scammers, right?

[A]

One of the original scammers, Barney, okay, He was a purple dinosaur. That shit didn't make no sense. And he was always trying to get me to douche. Clean up, clean up. Everybody do your share. Morning. He had me cleaning and I thought that was fun. So they didn't tell the nsf, like, hey, things are shady over here. Had that information had been revealed to the nsf, the National Science foundation rental payments for the property would not have been allowed. So that's why they didn't say anything because they were like, he's basically giving the girls a Bill Gates moment. Cause you know, we all hear about Bill Gates just being in his garage tinkering with control, alt, delete. So he's like, that's what I'm doing too. I'm in here, Bill Gates in it. So I could have got an office with Yalls grant money, but instead I bought this house where I Bill Gates it. Okay? My garage.

[B]

That's what he puts on his tax forms. He's like, this year I Bill Gates it.

[A]

So you guys know what that means. You write it all off. So the couple's two children who were minors at the time. See a scamily little baby robbers. You love to see it. They also receive salaries, these babies of $24,000 for their supposed roles as secretary and technical assistant during funded research projects.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

You know, I like this because a lot of parents take out credit cards in their children's names and fuck up their cred. Your kids put you on a payroll. They gave you the Beyonce treatment. They're like, you're Blue Ivy. You're out here getting checks.

[B]

Yes, yes. You're already making money.

[A]

Like Blue Ivy was the youngest person to ever feature on a song. She was an infant. They was like, Blue Ivy, get over here and cool on the Mic, get to work.

[B]

I feel like her ultrasound already had a career.

[A]

Right? Like they just, they just put this in the machine up and they're like, she's just kicking in there, giving the baseline. I wouldn't be shocked. She is the most employed baby. And that's why I love her. Like I love an employed baby. So we have two employed babies here who are doing the research and the technical assisting. So shout out investigators. This is the wife. Their elder daughters started conducting research for the company while in high school and continued a consulting role when she left for college. Okay, so at least one of the kids is old enough that it's like,

[B]

like, yeah, plus is that. But plus it's like her dad was. Had like three careers when he was right.

[A]

She's on track, actually. Yeah. Cuz he had like at least six degrees by then. No, I'm playing. He had like two, but he was like, keep up. Right. So kind of believable. In return for working at Han's Tech, Hans said the elder daughter would have her entire college tuition paid for. So he didn't turn and paying babies college into a job that he's filing with a grant that he got knowing damn well. But that's. That's some good mental gymnastics there though.

[B]

I know. I'm just impressed by the ingenuity here.

[A]

He was like, if you work for me, I will send all of your money directly to Purdue admissions office like a parent does. Like, yeah, I love this guy. I. I think that this was great. So in return for working at Hans Tech. Yo. Sorry, Marina. Mark that. So shout out investigators that her older daughter's contributions to the projects made the payments legitimate. So she's like, she was really working. Like she.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

She was getting the medal. She was seeing if it was light. You know, she worked. The daughter worked a substantial amount on paper involving grain refinement. She said, oh. So she worked substantial amounts on a paper involving grain refinement. So basically he gave his daughter a homework assignment.

[B]

Assignment, yeah.

[A]

And then was like, yay. College tuition. Paid one paper. That's how you work here. So getting caught. The National Science foundation grew suspicious of house research in the lab, began an investigation with assistance from the FBI. So this is how they kind of got suspicious of Han. Dr. Hahn. Professor. So in January of 2017, a woman named Patricia Crowder. Sounds like a hater. I know Patricia Crowder. It's crowded in here. Like we need you to get out. So she bought the home from the couple. And then Crowder said about six months after Moving in, she was contacted by the National Science Foundation.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

So she bought the second home. Because, remember, they bought two homes with the grant money. They really balled out. And then they paid the rents for the office in the home and the garage office. Yeah. And the tuition. So this second home, they're like, let's sell this home. Like, let's give it to the girls. So they give it to Patricia Crowder, and then here comes the FBI. Like, oh, hello. So they came to the house, and they wanted to look around. They wanted to know about smells and stains and plugins and stuff like that. They wanted to know if I knew the people, and I didn't. So I'm guessing what this is is, like, them being like, are you a scientist? Are you right? Do you know anything about that? Do you work for Hans Tech in, like, the most chill way. She didn't even have to probably do this. She probably could have been like, FBI, go away.

[B]

And also to be like, we're here to search for stains and smells. Like, you're not gonna let that person in. Right?

[A]

Like, no, you can flash that badge as quick as you want. This is a no for me. So guilty. So the NSF gathered through evidence that they could take this to court. So both Han and the company were placed on probation for two years and sentenced to pay restitution of $1,351,956 to the National Science and $300,000 to the Indiana Economic Development Corps. And Hans was also fined $25,000 and charged $100 special assessment fee. $100 is petty.

[B]

I know that part is like, okay.

[A]

And also a hundred dollars for me for my troubles. And so along with, he got all of that and 200 hours of community service. So Xiao herself was not placed on probation. That's his. Made to pay a fine. Though the company she represented was barred from participating in any federal programs and charged a $400 special assessment fee. I don't know what the special assessment fee is.

[B]

Yeah, what does that mean? It's so vague.

[A]

Like, the government loves to throw in a charge. And it's like, what are y'? All?

[B]

It's almost like they feel like you're gonna be too tired at that point to fight it. So they just add some charges at the end, Right? Like, you're already sick of dealing with us. Right?

[A]

They're like, let's sprinkle some fees for some little razzle dazzle. You know, let's season this on up. You're right. Because it's like, you don't want to. No one wants to deal with the court system. So we're like, all right, 500 and y' all never call me again.

[B]

Great. Yeah.

[A]

Like, that's their whole point, is to be a pest. So I feel like he.

[B]

I don't know about you, but I feel like at this point, I'm sort of like, I don't really think he did anything bad. Like, he's sort of following this. Not to generalize all immigrants, but I have immigrant parents, and I feel like there is this thing of, like, save money any way you can, and he just did it on a sort of bigger scale.

[A]

That's true. And also, I mean, he was researching. Like, he did know about the light. You know, he knew enough to win the grant.

[B]

He made his kids do research.

[A]

I don't know, y'. All. This feels like. That's why I'm glad that they didn't put him in jail. So they say. Though Han reportedly made strides in his research, even filing some patents and beginning the process of commercialization, he still used the funds that should have been given to more deserving, more honest candidates. I don't know. I agree with you, Aparna. Like, if I'm doing all this research for free, like, I should have my bills paid and my kids should be able to go to college. Like, yeah. So the lawyer contended that though he said that Han made a mistake and criminally received a federal grant fund, he still. Even though that happened. Right. So even though he did kind of still steal it, he still completed useful research for the auto industry. Work that could lead to cars being built with more efficient metal that are lighter and stronger. So he's still out here giving the Ford, you know, built for tough. Yeah, I. Professor Dr. Han, I think I like you. You was, you know, you was taking care of your scamily. You were putting your kids through college, and you actually did some research. I don't know. I feel like the NS sf, y' all are haters. Yeah.

[B]

It's not like he was using the money to, like, move to Mexico.

[A]

Right. And also, if, like, you gave him the money, like, why are you following up so much? Like, I mean, follow up. Like, hey, have you made anything new? Is this helping the research? But you don't need to follow up. Like, did you use it on your light bill? Or, like, I see you got a gardener now. Who is that? That better not be science money you paying him with. Like, I don't know. We're gonna. Guys, we're going to take a quick break with some non scam advertisements. And we'll be back for the saddest part of the show when I have to let a partner go. Robbery and fraud. And we're back, and it's time for Scammer of the Week. And this is where we'll highlight one charlatan that we think is worthy of our praise. But sometimes they're trash, FYI, sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate their goods. So the. This is Jennifer Alejandra, and she's accused of scamming more than $160,000 from Walt Disney World when she worked for the company in a position involving resolving guest complaints.

[B]

Oh, my gosh, I'm intrigued already.

[A]

Have you ever worked in customer service?

[B]

I. Yeah, I used to work at L.L. beans. In L.L. beans. L.L. bean in returns and exchanges at the mall.

[A]

I bet that was plenty of pleasant.

[B]

It was pleasant, I think, because their clientele is. Is like very wholesome white people.

[A]

They are. They're just like, oh, I'm sorry to bother you, but the shoe stabbed me in my foot when I was hiking. Yeah, no, because I. I used to date a guy who, like, was really into L.L. bean to the point where he was like, come on, you have to get some L.L. bean boots with me. And I was like, okay, I returned them shits.

[B]

But I think you're right, though. I think their customer base is, like, extremely loyal. Where it's like, I grew up on Bean, and I'll die on Bean.

[A]

That's what it was. His daddy was a Bean, and he was like, I am a Bean, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you want to be with me, you gotta be with L.L. bean. I was like, okay, I guess I'll get with them. So this woman, Jennifer, her job involved offering cash refunds to guests who were unhappy with their experience for any reason while visiting Disney.

[B]

That's a lot of power, right?

[A]

Oh, too much. But I like it. Her role was also. It gave her the opportunity to offer free tickets for instead of compensation. So two years between March 20 or March 2016 and July 2018, she allegedly, allegedly issued more than 40 fake refunds and directed the cash towards the bank accounts of people that she knew. Girl, I know Mickey's somewhere smiling on you, girl. Okay, so guests still received their refunds, but money was stolen directly from her former employer. In total, she's accused of making more than 40 fake refunds, varying from a few hundred dollars to several thousand dollars through a combination of checks and credit cards belonging to her friends and family. That's camel she was like, hey, y'. All. Y' all trying to get these passes. I don't even know what they got at Disney. I. I have went to Disney World so long ago. I haven't been to Disneyland.

[B]

Have I been to. I think I've been to both. I think the last one I went to was Disney World like seven years ago.

[A]

Oh, yeah, World is cute. They would scam us by making us do. I think I was scammed, but I think I actually was scammed by Disney World. It's coming back to me. So. So when you were in choir in school, you would. There was. I went to school in Florida for a little bit and they would be like, oh, it's time for the choir's annual trip to Disney World. Oh, we all going to Disney World. And we didn't have to pay to get into Disney World, but we did have to low key work. Like, we had. Oh, we had to go perform our songs for people at Disney World. Yeah, it was just like vibes. We was just providing vibes. I was like, the Walt Disney homie. Was that supposed to be.

[B]

They put you to work, but you're

[A]

like, oh, is Disney World like, oh, okay, this our trip? Like, right? You don't think about it. Yeah, but they're probably like, how can we get children to sing at Disney World and we don't have to pay them? It's like contract. You know what I mean? And then if they fall or something, we can't. They can't sue us. Gotta love capitalism. So. Oh, no. So I have to tell y' all the end of this real quick. So she's accused of doing all this shit. She was working with her friends and family. Investigators were able to track where her transactions went after noticing that Jennifer appeared to be friends with seven of the people on her Facebook page. Yo, when I tell y' all, the feds are on Mark Zuckerberg's app. Oh, yeah, y' all gotta stop. Stop if posting. And also, like, stop giving so much of your personal information. We've talked about this. If you are doing crime with people, you should definitely not have a direct link to them. You know, it shouldn't be, like, had so much fun doing that crime yesterday. And then like, so and so hearted this, like, why are y'?

[B]

All. Why? I know. Remember MySpace? I feel like it's. It would be like if in your MySpace top eight with all of your.

[A]

All your accomplices. Yeah, don't put your accomplices in your top eight. You gotta just spread that out. Also like, the feds, again, are on Facebook. Sometimes I see, like, scammers or people like, oh, I got a felony, but I still got that thing on me. And it's like the gun and the, you know, the money. Or like, they're posing with lots of hundreds, like, all the way down their arm. And I'm like, y', all, the feds love Facebook. Okay? It's made their job so much easier, I bet.

[B]

Easy. Between that and 23andMe, they're done. They can call us.

[A]

Damn. That's why I don't do 23andMe. Cause I got family with strikes. I don't want them pulling my cousins in. But, oh, my God, that makes so much sense. Cause I wonder how hard it was to be in the FBI back before all this modern technology, when you was just on foot. You were just going door to door,

[B]

door to door, being like, does this person look familiar?

[A]

Please help. Right? Please help you outside. Like, you probably needed to use a stapler gun a lot back in olden times. FBI, totally.

[B]

It's like a little kid with the missing dog, right?

[A]

They're like, little kid criminal. Have y' all seen this man call us. Yeah, that was probably trash. Now they can just get online and be like, gotcha, bitch. So one relative didn't question a deposit of $18,567 when it allegedly appeared in her account, which she said went to be used for bills and school books. Another friend allegedly received $24,000. Jennifer had been booked into the Osaka County J osakola County Jail on a first degree felony and grand theft charges. Wow.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I mean, she was helping her friends and family, though.

[B]

I know that's like the. The farthest reach of. When you work at the Gap or something, you're like, you can use my discount. It's like that.

[A]

She took the Gap discount and she said, this is how I win. Yeah, you're right. She had too much dip on her chip. She could have just been the girl who gave out the Disney tickets. Y' all could be reselling the Disney tickets on the low for the VIP and all that. You didn't have to start giving away 24,000. 24,000. You thought they weren't gonna start seeing that they were missing their money? That's the thing about corporations. They will always. It may take some time, but they will be like, hmm, Bitterman, I think we're missing some money. So, guys, I think I like Jennifer. I'm sorry.

[B]

I think I like her too. I like that she's spreading the Wealth, Right?

[A]

She was just redistributing. She was like, if y' all don't pay taxes, I'm gonna pay them for you.

[B]

She's like Robin Hood of Disney World, right?

[A]

I love her. I love this for her. All right, guys, well, we've reached the end of the show where I have to let a partner go, right? We always ask, where do you want to be found?

[B]

Oh, on the Internet.

[A]

Yeah. Or wherever you want to be found. We don't want you to be found places you don't want to be found.

[B]

I'm on, you know, I'm on Twitter, Instagram. I think those are probably my most posted plan. Like, I have a website, but it feels rude to even tell people what it is because it has never been updated.

[A]

The first time I googled you, I found it. I saw your website and I was

[B]

like, oh, it comes up.

[A]

It's first. It's first. And I was like, look at her being classy with a website. All classy. I don't have a website, cuz this just feels like another thing to do right now.

[B]

I want to go to people's websites.

[A]

I'm like, my website's Instagram. Yeah, go to my website there. Okay. And that's just your name on all platforms, right?

[B]

Yeah, it's just a par napkin, but pretty much you put in a part

[A]

and you'll find a par napkin, guys, on all platforms. Anything you want to promote. I know you have a special coming out. Not special. You have a show coming out. I don't know why.

[B]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. A show in January. I was like, I have a special January. This show, animated show called the Great North. I do a voice on it. So that comes out soon.

[A]

Yes, in January. So look out for the Great North. I love animated cartoons, so I'm definitely gonna give this a watch. And as always, you can find [e-mail] stitch on your friends and family. Find us at ScamGODessPod on all platforms. And I'm talking like an auctioneer. You can. You can find me at D I V A L A C I Diva Lacey on all platforms. Congregation, stay scheming. Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess is starring me.

[B]

Duh.

[A]

Scam Goddess, AKA Lazy Mosley. Scam Goddess is produced by Chelsea Jacobsen and engineered by Marina Baiz with research by Sherrilynn Vera. Stay.