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- [00:00]
A
Scams. Cuns. Robbery and frauds. Scams ca. Robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's poppin, Congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. And we are back for another installment of Scam Goddess, the pod that's all about fraud. Okay, listen, some general housekeep. I talk about scams. I know. I talk about how y' all can scam. Stop trying to scam me, okay? I'm tired. Stop tagging me. Instagram on these. YouTube can start making condoms. Making condoms. How supposed to start making condoms from home? Please stop. Please stop tagging me in this kind of stuff. Y'. All. Please respect me. Respect me. All right? Oh, and another thing. If you're a Republican, look, it used to be you could be a Republican, and it was fine. Then Donald Trump came around, and we were like, you're a bigot. You're a homophobia transphobe. You're a racist. I'm sorry, that's just what you voted for. Trump was a bad guy. I don't know. If some other vanilla white guy who wants to do, like, you know, like, chill murders and chills undoing civil rights comes around, maybe I'll stop talking about Republicans. Until then, get the hell out of my Apple podcast. Talking about some. I need to stop talking about some damn Republicans. I'm black. Y' all know I'm black, right? That's my scam. Except for online it says I'm white, so maybe I am white. Who knows? Anyways, guys, what am I. Say it with me one time. Excited? Yes, I'm very excited for today's guest, and I am actually extremely excited because this is a booked and busy guest. I don't know how we got him. I really feel like I scammed him. Like, he don't even know he on the show yet. They told him this was. They told him he was gonna be on mtv and actually, he probably wouldn't even do mtv. But, guys, today we have
- [01:46]
B
booked and busy. Cause I say yes to everything, girl.
- [01:49]
A
Same. Literally same today, guys, we have. You've already heard him. We have a cultural icon. You've seen him on Shrill Nor in Queens. I can't even talk. He's the co host of the legendary podcast Las Colturistas and the star and host of Hot Dog on HBO Max, which. That' show is fun as hell. Guys. We have Matt Rogers.
- [02:10]
B
This is very exciting for me as well. I'm very happy to be here, Lacey. Thank you. And I'm so. I. I really identify because when the we Call our podcast listeners the readers. When the students become the teacher, it is a moment. Like when they. When they come to you and are like, I didn't like this cultural take. You did, like. And they. They act like they can tell you you're out here trying to scam Lacey.
- [02:34]
A
Yes.
- [02:34]
B
I don't think so, honey. As we say, right?
- [02:37]
A
We're called the congregation. So the congregation, they're trying to scam.
- [02:42]
B
Unbelievable.
- [02:43]
A
And they be out here trying to steal from the collection plates. And I'm like, y' all know your place.
- [02:48]
B
You listen.
- [02:51]
A
They run me, and they know they run me. So I don't know what to do. Cause I've listened too many times. So now they're like, no, girl, we run you. Yeah, I remember when the Hilaria Baldwin situation happened. I got tagged so many times. And they're like, we want the episode. And so I did the episode. And they're like, thanks, girl. We really appreciate it.
- [03:06]
B
I mean, the. The scam of the year, I would. I would imagine.
- [03:10]
A
Oh, what a beautiful scam. I love that woman so much, I could talk about her forever. Encanta mies bosa.
- [03:17]
B
When she didn't know how to say cucumber. How do you say. That was a moment. That was a moment for me also. This is, like the first year. It's a good time for me to come on the pod because this is the first year where I had, like, I'm usually a really bad shopper for Christmas and, like, online shopping.
- [03:31]
A
I am too.
- [03:33]
B
So. But this year, I don't know if you. How you feel, but I had the time, obviously, because of quarant, the coronavirus pandemic. If you're listening to this years in the future, we are currently experiencing the pandemic. So now I'm, like, sitting around having time to, like, go on Etsy and, like, buy cute stuff or whatever. The way I got scammed on so many things, I tried to buy. Like, when I'll go on there and try to buy, like, cute ornaments, and they show up and they're laminated plastic.
- [03:58]
A
Girl, that's the issue with Etsy. It's like, sometimes it's like an artist who's really good, and it's a great platform. Other times, it's like is robbery.
- [04:07]
B
It is robbery. It is felony robbery. It comes to the point where it's like, you really. I really paid $9 for a little laminated piece of plastic. And then you could pay the same price for, like, an artisanal, like, cool ass clock. I have up There. I'm like, come on.
- [04:23]
A
Oh, roll the dice, Etsy. It's like, it's. We gonna see. You know, you might. Come on. You gonna see when you get it
- [04:31]
B
in the mail, we're gonna see it and we're gonna judge that, right?
- [04:35]
A
Don't get too excited yet.
- [04:37]
B
You won't see the hidden meaning of the name. We see. And I use redbubble too, which is like, more like red alert.
- [04:43]
A
Ooh. I haven't see redbubble. Don't sound like someplace I should be making purchases. I feel like my card would turn off. You know, I can't even pay for OnlyFans. I tried to get to support one of my homegirls who has OnlyFans. And bank of America called me and
- [04:56]
B
was like, girl, it's what? Because bank of America was saying, we're not letting you do OnlyFans. They need to. They need to relax.
- [05:03]
A
They said they wouldn't let me. I was just trying to support my hot friends. And they said, not over here at Miss America's banking institution, fdic.
- [05:12]
B
And I was like, okay, girl, they need to step in. Chase needs to call me and be like, hey, you're paying for too much OnlyFans. Cause I be spending money on OnlyFans. Like, I have, like, three or four people that I'm, like, a fan of. Onlyfans has really become the moment this year.
- [05:25]
A
It has. And I wanna get on only scams where I just. It's just me talking about rapping, but maybe I put on, like, a little teddy, a little lingerie. A little lingerie for the girls.
- [05:37]
B
Why, absolutely.
- [05:38]
A
Could you imagine?
- [05:40]
B
I mean, listen, if you got the
- [05:43]
A
goods, make the coin, it's not even about that. It's about the effort. That's why I be trying to pay my homegirls. Cause, like, bitch, you putting on makeup in the Ponderosa. You putting on hair and clothes. Couldn't be me. Like, I'm working right now full time, but they put the clothes on me and they put the hair in the face on me. I don't do that shit.
- [06:03]
B
Yeah, well, listen, we. It always, like, I've been trying to think, like, let me learn how to, like, put myself together in a new way for the zoom and. Because, like, you got to show up for zoom. Because what are you. What else are you showing up for? So it is interesting. Like, this has been a time where, like, usually when I. Well, usually when I'm doing this, I don't have to look at myself. So I feel like if I'm Going to have to look at myself for a while. I might as well do the hair. I might as well put on my little sweater that I bought, like, because I don't want to look at myself looking a mess.
- [06:31]
A
Yes. So wait, Matt, getting to know you a little bit before we hop in. Have you ever been scammed?
- [06:38]
B
Have I ever been scammed? I would say I went to nyu.
- [06:42]
A
Okay. Okay.
- [06:43]
B
Well, so I think that counts. I mean, honestly, like, I don't foresee a reality where it made sense to pay over $200,000 to have a degree in television writing. I do think that some of these private universities are way too expensive. And if I have one, like, not my mission in life, but something I want to do is just be like, to kids that are in high school, be like, you know, you don't have to go to college right after you graduate. Right?
- [07:12]
A
Right.
- [07:12]
B
Take your time. Figure out what you want to do. Because I do think that the system of, like, well, you graduate, and then you graduate high school, and then you're supposed to go to college.
- [07:21]
A
Right?
- [07:21]
B
Like, that's such a common place thing where it's like, so many people that I knew did not know what they wanted to do when they were. When they were getting ready to leave for school. And then even at the end, I have close friends that at the end of college, like, had an education major and realized they didn't want to be around kids. Oh, it's like, that's something we should have known. Meanwhile, it's like, you went to Towson University, the whole thing. And so you. Meanwhile, now you have all this debt and no career plan and no interest in the degree that you have. So I do think that, like, just, like, you know, nationwide, like, the way that America does education and then, like, college education needs to be looked at in the way that they do in Europe, where it's like, I would wait tables with girls who had come over from, like, Scotland and Ireland and England because they. It was part of their culture that they come over here and, like, experience America for a while or, like, do something else.
- [08:18]
A
Like, take experience America.
- [08:20]
B
I mean, at the time, it didn't seem so bad, but now it's like,
- [08:23]
A
you guys, the garbage real quick before you, just so you can really accept your blessings. That's like, when you have to go and, you know, do volunteer work when you're forced to. I love doing volunteer work. But, like, when they're like, go see how the other half went.
- [08:36]
B
Like, yes, you, Honor, I love doing volunteer work.
- [08:38]
A
Yes, go pick up Trash next to the side of the road, aka America.
- [08:43]
B
Well, this was like, back in, like, 2012 13, where we still were having. The president was Barack Obama. And it was like, I guess America was still aspirational. This is right before a shitstorm that was. Or at least, like, when it was finally revealed to everyone that it was a shitstorm.
- [08:59]
A
Because a lot of us, right, because we knew the girls, the black girls knew.
- [09:02]
B
But I will say, everyone, yeah, we
- [09:04]
A
all were living a little better in that time when, like, the biggest scandal was, like, our sexy ass president in a cream suit. So.
- [09:10]
B
Exactly. Oh, can you remember when they. They wrote him so hard for, like, his suit not being the color they wanted? And now it's like, he's so hot. Yeah, he's the hottest. I mean, there's some pictures of him. I won't lie. Like, I've definitely googled Barack Obama beach photos. And the man has it together. I mean, like, it's just like, he is a gorgeous specimen. And Michelle looks better every day of her life, Right? When she showed up at the inauguration, I was like, oof, right?
- [09:35]
A
And gave the. And walked all over the girls, just said, put your neck down here. Put it. Put it on the curb. Yeah, there you go.
- [09:41]
B
Rip all necks, right?
- [09:43]
A
But I get what you're saying, though, of, like, the culture of America very much being like, if you don't go to college, you're a loser. It's in our television. Like, how many movies are there about college? It's in our school songs, our music industry. Remember Asher Ross? I went to college and I was naked. I can't even remember how the song goes, but it was called I love College. And, like, I remember that coming out when I was in high school and I was like, ooh, I love college. I wanna go to college.
- [10:06]
B
And it was propaganda. It was because all they want is your money. It's so crazy how all they want and then they have the nerve to email you later and be like, could you make donations? It's like, no, I can't.
- [10:18]
A
When you say later, I mean, five minutes after the grudge, I'm still in my motherfucking gown and they over here emailing me, talking about, would you like to give the girl?
- [10:25]
B
No, no, never again. It's like, how about this? How about when I go back to campus, I'd like to be able to use the Internet. You wanna talk about a donation? I'll give you 20 bucks if you let me use the Internet one time on your campus after I give you hundreds of Thousands of dollars. Yeah.
- [10:41]
A
They should always let you. WiFi should always be free when you're in that part of town. Like what?
- [10:45]
B
WI fi should be like water. It should be free, right?
- [10:49]
A
And if we're gonna get there, and hopefully if Elon Musk does one Raggedy ass thing before he moves to Mars, it's that he can get us some univers with his raggedy ass.
- [10:58]
B
Get it together. But you can do one thing for us. Positive.
- [11:02]
A
Right? But wait, wait, wait. I have a question. Do you have. You've gone back to the NYU campus since you graduated? I mean, it's like, in the city. Where are you right now?
- [11:10]
B
Are you in la?
- [11:11]
A
Are you?
- [11:11]
B
I live in LA now, but I did live in New York up until last year. So I will say the first few years after I graduated, I would go back just because, like, it was comfortable to go back there and, like, you know, grab, like, rehearsal space or like, a spot, a quiet space to, like, do things. But I will say they got to be real stingy with letting alumni in because your card needed to say you were a current student. So for some reason, like, they just got really strict about people coming on, which is just like, insane. It's like, I went to this school for four years. Like, let me come on and, like, hang out here for a second. But I don't know, with any other school, maybe I'd be like, yeah, I get it. People graduated, they shouldn't move on. But with nyu, it's like, you asked for so much. And it's also, like, it's not easy to find spots in the city to just, you know, you know, get some shit done. So I think they could be a little chiller to their. To their alumni. But for the first couple years, yeah, I was hanging out there, and then I bailed, okay.
- [12:10]
A
Cause I went back on my campus and for homecoming, which I went to University of Pittsburgh, I don't know why me and my friends, like, we had this nostalgia for Pitt because there wasn't nothing to do there. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. There was one gay club that was, like, super run down, but we used to go there, and it was cute, and we had a few nightclubs that were trash and. But we, like, had such a good time because we were such great friends. So we were like, let's go back. Pitt was so fun. We got there, it was cold, it was rainy. I went back to the campus, which is absolutely gorgeous. And when I tell you, I was so mad because they had updated so much shit and it was looking cute as hell in that bitch.
- [12:45]
B
And I was like, I know the glow ups happen after the fact always.
- [12:48]
A
This is my money.
- [12:49]
B
Exactly.
- [12:50]
A
Oh, y' all did this with my money.
- [12:51]
B
Exactly.
- [12:52]
A
I went to school on scholarship. I'm lying. But.
- [12:55]
B
Well, you know what? I didn't have all that debt, but because I was an ra, so I was a resident assistant, like, trying to be. But I did get fired from that job.
- [13:08]
A
Wait, how did you get fired from ra? All you gotta do is snitch on people a little bit, girl.
- [13:14]
B
The realty is that they did not fire me with what they should have fired me for. They fired me one day when I did. They fired me one day when I didn't pick up the duty phone. I was supposed to like, you know, be that bitch that was like, had the phone and like trolled the halls and was like trying to smell weed. I didn't give a fudge. I was smoking with the residents. I was hooking up with the residents. Like consent. Everything was like the same age. That's what I'm saying. It's like I was an upperclassman ra, So I was actually an RA when I was a junior and there were some seniors on my floor. And so what am I going to do? Like a 21 year old knock on the door of like some person that's older than me, like smoking weed when I'm doing the same thing and be like, hey, you can't do that. No. Like, let me get a hit. Like, that's the vibe. Like, I didn't care. But they didn't. They fired me for a lame reason. And also my bulletin boards were always whack. They were always like, make a creative bulletin board. And I was like, girl, I can't be bothered to do this.
- [14:08]
A
Oh, God. That was. That's. It's a job for lames. Because I remember the best. The best arias I had were lame as shit, but they weren't about that life before we get right and we'll get into it right after this. I have to tell the story because I've never told this story. I had. I was bullied in college, which I don't even call it bullying, because I'm just like that bitch.
- [14:27]
B
How could they bully you? You're like, fabulous. Like, what did they have to say?
- [14:30]
A
That's why they was coming for me. So this girl basically, who was. Who liked this guy that I was dating was mad that we were seeing each other and I didn't give a fuck about this raggedy ass man, fuck that raggedy ass, man. And her and she. So we. Our RA Would do these, like, bulletin boards that were like, follow your dreams, and everyone write your dream on the bulletin board. And somebody. And it was huge. She did it with, like, butcher stock paper. It had to at least been, like, 10 to 12ft long and, like, 8ft wide. I'm like, bitch, why are you spending so much time on this girl? Go to class. So she writes on this bulletin board in several places, like, lacey is a hoe. Lacey is a bitch. And this is my freshman year. And I don't know why, but, like, if you make me mad, it's just a whole different person comes out. I told my ra, Which I was like, why am I even wasting my time talking to this bitch? And she was like, oh, well, we can try to have a mediation. I was like, mediation?
- [15:22]
B
Mediation. I didn't do shit.
- [15:24]
A
I was telling you so you could go take it down yourself. Respectfully. But you're not gonna do it. Bet I went and got some chairs. I tore the whole fucking thing down.
- [15:31]
B
Yeah.
- [15:32]
A
From top to bottom. And she was just standing there like, her name was Colleen. Shout out to Colleen with your wack ass.
- [15:37]
B
Yeah, well, Colleen. Colleen could have made that situation a whole lot easier for herself by not being like, oh, we can have a mediation. It's like, no, Take the abusive graffiti down off the goddamn wall, Colleen.
- [15:49]
A
She was like, no, but it took me five hours to do this.
- [15:53]
B
That's a shame. It took me two seconds to pull down the slander.
- [15:58]
A
Right. She was like, no, but Lisa went to Joann's Fabrics. Like, no, bitch, we're taking this down, please.
- [16:03]
B
And she's digging. Little does she know she's making it worse. It's like, went to Joann's Fabrics also. It's like, when you went like, you probably. Like, when you're a freshman, it's like, you don't want to be the person being like, hi, I'm being bullied. Like, it makes you feel, like, lame, right?
- [16:17]
A
But also, it wasn't good bullying. I was like, you kind of come up with some original insults. Like, the other day, some mean person put on my Instagram, I look like Tyrese in a wig. I laughed at that. That was at least funny.
- [16:28]
B
Also being like, you're a hoe. It's like, if someone said that about me, it's like, okay, yes. So I know. I've been. I knew that.
- [16:36]
A
Okay, and the sky is blue. What about.
- [16:38]
B
At least reveal something to me. Let's start a conversation That I can sort of examine something new about my life. I know I'm a hoe. I've been a hoe for centuries, right?
- [16:45]
A
Be an observant bully, be an introspective bully, you know?
- [16:48]
B
Exactly, exactly, exactly.
- [16:50]
A
So speaking of bullying. Not really. This is a bad transition. Y' all know what y' all get when y' all come over here, so. So don't be acting surprised. So, guys, so this is a listener. So this is our first segment. If you're new to the show, what's poppin? This is where we talk about what's hot and fried. So we'll either warn a listener about what's some hot fraud on the street so you can be prepared, or we'll get a letter from you guys where you can snitch on your friends and family. And if you'd like to do that, that scam got his pot at gmail dot com. Just make sure the scam is retired. We don't want to fuck up your bag. All right, so this person says, hi, scam goddess. Please call me Scarlet Fever. That's my derbit name.
- [17:28]
B
Coming to the stage.
- [17:32]
A
Scarlet Fever.
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B
Fever. Love it.
- [17:36]
A
I don't know, girl. Scarlet Fever was its own pandemic. We can't be. I guess we gonna call you that. Edgy, right? Scarlet Fever is cute now, but it used to be killing the girls.
- [17:46]
B
Yeah, absolutely. It was the first Corona. Soon in like three years, we're gonna see a drag queen named Coronavirus. I'm gonna be like, girl, you know
- [17:54]
A
it, you know it.
- [17:54]
B
Retire it, retire it.
- [17:57]
A
So Scarlet Corona. Why they always gotta have girl names? We know a man is doing this. This is ridiculous.
- [18:04]
B
We know it's a man that messed up, right?
- [18:07]
A
Scarlet and Corona sound like they go to brunch and they stay till 6pm and they throw up in the street.
- [18:12]
B
And they're unfortunately the coolest girls there that willing to go the hardest.
- [18:16]
A
Like Scarlet and the Corona is the reason next time you come to the restaurant, they got drink tickets. They said, we can't give y' all bottomless no more. You bitches can't have it.
- [18:24]
B
Yeah, there's a 75 minute table limit, right?
- [18:27]
A
Cause of Scarlet and Corona.
- [18:28]
B
Because of the girls.
- [18:30]
A
So Scarlett says, I used to work at a fast casual restaurant. Let's call it Popular Bread Company. Mm.
- [18:36]
B
Okay. I'm gonna make a absolutely Panera Bread.
- [18:40]
A
Right?
- [18:40]
B
I can say it, but Scarlett Fever didn't want to, right?
- [18:43]
A
Scarlet Fever. We gonna keep your secret, but also we gonna tell everybody the callout is Real right. So she says, I was part time in school and just trying to get enough money to go out on the weekends. Okay.
- [18:55]
B
Mm. Get your shit together.
- [18:56]
A
Not you working so you can get you a little Cosmo on the weekend.
- [19:00]
B
Yeah. She was like, not to live to party.
- [19:04]
A
She said I worked just enough that I could get a plastic bottle of that Russian vodka.
- [19:10]
B
Yeah. Just a shift or two at popular breadcrumbs company.
- [19:13]
A
Love it. So she said I had been there for a few weeks when I noticed that the store managers would have morning meetings and what I assumed were, like, corporate managers or something. They had boxes of stuff, stacks of paper, and were set up on one of the bigger tables. So one day my manager came over to me after one of the meetings and asked me if I wanted to try this new protein drink. And I thought it was a new menu item, so I said sure. And it tasted like cardboard and dirt. But I had to pretend I liked it since he was my boss. Good old capitalism. He'd be like, it made me throw up in my mouth. But I was like, daddy, capitalism.
- [19:50]
B
Already we're seeing the conditioning that this employee was. Went through. So that's gonna color the rest of this, right?
- [19:56]
A
Then he told me about this nutrition wellness company he works for on the side and how great their products were. This protein powder would help you gain muscle, lose weight. It could cure migraines, hair loss, and intimacy issues. So it's gonna make you skinny. Your headache's gonna go away, your pussy gonna be on that wap, wap, Like, what is this?
- [20:22]
B
And you're gonna be horny as shit. Like, what's this miracle product?
- [20:27]
A
You're gonna be so hot and so horny.
- [20:29]
B
You're gonna be hot, horny, ready to go, better educated. You're gonna have a fuller hair. You're gonna have a fat ass.
- [20:36]
A
Your skin's gonna be clear.
- [20:38]
B
All your shoes are gonna be lifted.
- [20:40]
A
All of a sudden, your eyelashes will grow, okay?
- [20:44]
B
And you're gonna have an assistant
- [20:48]
A
bitch. Your plants gonna live. All them plants that die gonna live. Like, how is this product doing all these things? Okay? So he gives her this, tells her about this miracle product, right? And then she says. He was like, well, hey, do you wanna help me sell the powder? And she said, obviously I was. I was making $8 an hour. You're not stupid when you're making $8 an hour. Of course you gonna sell protein powder scam. I would, yeah.
- [21:15]
B
Cause it's not enough money.
- [21:17]
A
Money.
- [21:18]
B
That's insane. That that's a job that happens like, oh, God, right?
- [21:21]
A
It's so disgusting. So it's like, no, girl, you weren't insane or stupid. You were making a living.
- [21:27]
B
So you were being victimized by the system, right?
- [21:31]
A
Oh, so sad. I laugh and there's like tears going down my eye.
- [21:35]
B
Like, I'm gonna get out if you don't laugh, you' story, right?
- [21:39]
A
The American story. Whenever they say there's like a movie that's like the American story, it's always some glamorous ass shit like La La Land. And I'm like, that ain't what it's
- [21:49]
B
like over here, like the Blind side or something. It's like, yeah, for sure.
- [21:54]
A
I just revisited that. It's so crazy that you mentioned that. Can I tell you that there is. If you guys play a drinking game where every time there's a white savior, you take a shot, bitch, you will die. The Blind side is just a bunch of white people coming in and being like, here's this black boy, he can't good. He from the ghetto. This little white child will teach him how to play football and also how to read. Sandra Bullock will go to the ghetto and fight the ghetto Ians for her new black son.
- [22:20]
B
Yeah. And finally at the end, we'll see her cry a single tear. It's like, okay. And then she was given an Oscar. It's like that. It's like the Help is another one. All these movies that are about, like, race relations that suddenly at the end of the year, like, Green Book, like that have like, tons of Oscar nominations. It's like always be wary because this industry loves to pat itself on the back for getting it like, like 40%. Right, right. All the time.
- [22:45]
A
It's like the cast was almost all black because they were slaves.
- [22:48]
B
Yeah, they were playing the Help. Did you see even so good. Viola came out like, two years ago and she was like, you know, to be honest with you, like, she got an Oscar nomination for that. And like, she was. She, like, got her awards together and everything like that. And it was big for her career, but she was like, but I did not enjoy playing that part and don't want to be playing that part hurt.
- [23:09]
A
Honestly. I get it because I. There's like, you know that meme that used to go around to that girl drinking that soda or that kombucha where she'd be like, eh, maybe.
- [23:17]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [23:18]
A
It's like my face is like when I see, like, a new slave movie coming out. It's like, oh, a slave sitcom. What will massa do next? And then like, right? But then when you see an audition for that, you'd be like, well, I don't know. I guess it's my Lupita moment. I guess I gotta go get whipped on so I can get me an Oscar.
- [23:33]
B
No, I can't.
- [23:35]
A
I don't think I'd be good at that, though. They be whipping me. I'd be like, ah, ouch, ouch.
- [23:40]
B
Cause then you have to think about how you're acting it. It's like, is this, like, is this brutal enough for you people? It's insane, right?
- [23:48]
A
You gotta be crying and sniffling and shit. I'm being like, ooh, how many miles?
- [23:54]
B
No, my God.
- [23:55]
A
Like, get this bitch off the set immediately.
- [23:59]
B
Unreal.
- [24:01]
A
So back to what we were talking about. Y' all remember, right? So protein powder scam at Panera Bread.
- [24:07]
B
We love the segue.
- [24:10]
A
You get it?
- [24:11]
B
Oh, my God.
- [24:12]
A
Slavery, capitalism, of course.
- [24:15]
B
And if we actually traced it back how we got there, we'd be like, what the hell?
- [24:19]
A
Yeah. And we've said it on this show before, if you work in any tipping industry, that's cause of slavery. So, you know, it's cool. Reconstruction came around and white people were like, we don't want to pay Negroes. We've been getting them for free. And they were like, y' all pay them and they work here, but we don't pay them. So that's tipping.
- [24:32]
B
Yay.
- [24:33]
A
So back to it. So $8 an hour, she said. So that's when she decided she was gonna sell this. Ma. Magical Dick Assistant. Hair regaining protein cream.
- [24:45]
B
Magical Dick Assistant. Oh my God, what a dream. Title of an episode.
- [24:49]
A
Oh, right, I know, that's. That's probably the title right there. Magical Dick Assistant. All right, so. So she starts slanging this powder. So how they're doing this, which sounds like she's selling cocaine, but she's slanging health powder, guys. Although some would argue cocaine is health powder. So because my manager and I, along with some other cokers with co workers now.
- [25:13]
B
Cokers. So all of a sudden she talked about cocaine. She's like, my other cokers. It is certainly life giving, right? Me and the cokers, obsessed.
- [25:24]
A
That makes it sound fun. Like a 1920, like jazz time. Me and cokers.
- [25:28]
B
Come on now, come. All my cokers are getting together for a night of the town.
- [25:33]
A
I love it.
- [25:34]
B
We got our good clothes on, right?
- [25:36]
A
Our good clothes. We got our Sunday best on our
- [25:39]
B
Sunday best for coke. Anyway.
- [25:42]
A
Yes. So her and some of the other co workers would sell the protein powder in the store. So they selling it in Panera Bread to customers and keep the cash in a box under the counter. My manager kept asking me to get my friends involved, but I didn't want to ask. I didn't want to let them in on my money. Okay, you didn't want your friends to get scammed. She was just like, look, I ain't cutting this check. Me and you.
- [26:06]
B
Scarlet fever was like, I make $8 an hour. I'm gonna. I'm gonna get this money together.
- [26:10]
A
Right? I'm not mad at you, girl. So it says, eventually my manager got fired because he really wasn't supposed to be doing that. Duh. Yeah, you're not supposed to be like, hey, this is welcome to McDonald's. You want some of our off menu?
- [26:23]
B
Hey, by the way, Cutco knives. Like, it's like, girl,
- [26:29]
A
welcome to Chick Fil A. Have a blessed day. And also Herbalife.
- [26:34]
B
I happen to be here for a five piece.
- [26:38]
A
Right, but okay, but since you already here, though, have you ever considered Lulu Lula Rue Leggings?
- [26:46]
B
What's your bank?
- [26:49]
A
How many sauces would you like also? And how many orders of legs? Yeah, I love it. So he got fired because he really wasn't supposed to be doing that. Duh. And I think other people involved had to shut down too, because the protein powder just stopped coming. Dang. The supplier got cut up. And so in hindsight, it's messed up to sell fake medicine. But I'm also pretty sure that dude stole a couple of my paychecks before he got fired, so nobody wins. Anyway, love the show. Sorry, this is long. Stay scammed. Anyway, I love the show now. He stole your paychecks on the way out.
- [27:26]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [27:28]
A
I mean, listen, he's a bad guy.
- [27:30]
B
That just. That's a mess. And also, I feel like, you know, if you follow that down the road, he could essentially, like, at some point, like, he could have been asking his employees to do some shady. Like. That was not. That was not right.
- [27:42]
A
He kept trying to get more people involved. I'm just like, I don't. Sir, I don't fuck with this. I don't know.
- [27:47]
B
He was scheming.
- [27:49]
A
Scarlett, I with you, though. You absolutely should be selling protein powder on the side. Like, people want soup, salad, and breast. And then you give a protein pad on the side.
- [27:57]
B
I mean, that's the thing is, it's like, when you say protein powder like that, that is a dog whistle to a lot of people. It's like, oh, get big and strong. Like, I mean, whenever I am, like, I Have a protein option. I'm always taking a protein option. Like, I always want to add more because I. Because I have it in my head that it's going to give me the body I want. And it is like such a. It's. It's a buzzword.
- [28:18]
A
It is. And so are like, whenever you go to any smoothie place, they have all the things up there. They're like goji complex. I don't even know what that does, but I'm like, put that goji in there. Put the goji in there. And also put the creatine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's gonna get my muscles back. Like, yeah. I've never drank a smoothie. And then was like, yeah. This really improved my muscle function.
- [28:38]
B
Yeah. You know what I liked about the hemp in this? This how I have more energy now. It's like, girl, no, no, you don't. You like the strawberry taste. That's what you like, right?
- [28:46]
A
But we have to tell ourselves. Tell yourself whatever you need to tell yourself. Scam yourself.
- [28:50]
B
Yeah, that's always. It's like, it's one of the best ways to live.
- [28:53]
A
It is. And guys, on that note, we're going to take a quick break for some non scam advertisements and we'll be right back. Scams. And we are back. And Matt and I were having fun conversations on the break. I ain't gonna tell y'. All.
- [29:14]
B
Talk about scams.
- [29:17]
A
Yes. But we're back. And it's time for historic hoodwinks. And this is when I will regale Matt with a famous crime caper. Criminals. Or maybe a ring of criminals. Today we got a little blang blang ring. Okay. And we'll get his opinions all throughout. So, guys, today we're talking about. And I think this is gonna resonate with you, Matt. It resonated with me because the scammer, who I think is a bad guy, but he originally moved to LA to do comedy.
- [29:44]
B
Oh, yeah. So he's a dreamer.
- [29:48]
A
Oh, gosh. I will say, like, it takes a lot to be like, oh, I should be on tv.
- [29:54]
B
It takes a lot of self determination, narcissism, a lot of. A lot of, you know, shenanigans in your own brain.
- [30:02]
A
Right? A lot. A little sprinkle of delusion. Not too much. No, just a sprinkle sprinkle to taste
- [30:08]
B
a spoonful of delusion.
- [30:10]
A
Right. But it's gotta be to taste. If you over sprinkle, you're gonna be bad. You're gonna be in a bad way. So this is called the Starlet bandits. So from 2008 to 2010, a group of sex workers and an aspiring comedian who became their pimp robbed several banks in the Los Angeles area. They were known as the Starlit Band, which. I like that. That name is very la. I'm like, yes.
- [30:32]
B
Yeah, a comedian is a good. Would. Would be a good pimp. You have to imagine like, like, sort of like, you know, if he was a good comedian anyway. Make people laugh. You always make people feel at ease
- [30:46]
A
after he take your money and beat you.
- [30:47]
B
He'd be like, he takes a bad comedian. Would be the worst pimp, though.
- [30:51]
A
Just like, hey, then everybody just has to laugh at your jokes because they're. You're their pimp. Oh, God, that'd be torture. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you so funny. Okay, here's my money from last week. Like, love ya. Like, yeah, that would be awful. I hope he was. But he can't be that good if he didn't make it in. Well, no, because there's a lot of great comedians who don't make it in comedy.
- [31:13]
B
Yeah, but
- [31:16]
A
nah, maybe y' all just suck. I'm sorry, I ain't even gonna give y' all that. I was gonna get y' all that for a second. No, I'm going to give it to you. I know some funny people who decide
- [31:24]
B
who don't really work.
- [31:25]
A
Yeah, but you know, they got like, like sweater businesses and stuff. You know, they're doing great.
- [31:31]
B
Exactly.
- [31:32]
A
Yeah. So I feel like I just looked at your sweater and said, business, man. I don't know if that's a.
- [31:37]
B
Is it giving you business?
- [31:38]
A
It's giving me the business. It's amazing.
- [31:41]
B
You know, you know what the inspiration is? This is very similar to the Chris Evans Knives out sweater.
- [31:47]
A
Oh, my God. It is.
- [31:49]
B
That's. That's what I wanted to look like.
- [31:51]
A
And I just really remember that sweater because I. I love me some Chris Evans.
- [31:54]
B
Ooh. He looked absolutely. He. Let's just say that sweater was not wearing him. He was wearing the sweater.
- [32:00]
A
That sweater. Yes. His knives were out.
- [32:04]
B
His knives were, in fact out. And mine too.
- [32:09]
A
Yes. I was like, cut me, daddy, cut me. All right, so that was our horny pullover. And we're back. You gotta have those. So Henry McElvin grew up in a middle class family in Washington, DC. His father was a US Marshal and his mother worked at the Pentagon. So, damn, those are scam professions. Anything in the world.
- [32:28]
B
They were middle class. I feel like they should make it dollars. Those seem like big jobs.
- [32:33]
A
I feel like if you work at the Pentagon. Everybody who works there, even the janitor, gotta at least be making 100k. It's too much going on in that bitch.
- [32:39]
B
It's the Pentagon. Like you seem to be important, important thing here.
- [32:42]
A
Anyway, so he says it was like the Cosby Show. That's how he grew up. Okay, the Cosby show, not Bill Cosby. Cause that's a whole different existence.
- [32:50]
B
That's a different experience.
- [32:51]
A
Yeah, it's a bad one. So. But the Cosby show, that's cute. So his idol was Eddie Murphy, the most successful, confident black man around. Well, okay, I'll take that. Eddie is popping. That's who he wanted to be. But his parents wanted their only son to follow their example, go to college, maybe start a business. Just like you were talking about in our first segment, Matt.
- [33:09]
B
Look at that.
- [33:10]
A
The scam of college. I get it. So after high school, he changed his name to Robert St. John and moved to Hollywood to pursue do stand up comedy.
- [33:20]
B
Yeah, the funniest name you could find. Robert St. John. That sounds like a goddamn soap opera actor.
- [33:25]
A
Right?
- [33:27]
B
I don't trust this person already.
- [33:29]
A
He should have just stayed as Henry McKelvin and he could have been. What's the short name for Henry?
- [33:33]
B
Ho ho. Hank.
- [33:35]
A
Hank. Hank McElvin.
- [33:37]
B
He could have been Hank Mack.
- [33:39]
A
Hank Mac. Like Bernie Mac.
- [33:41]
B
Like Bernie Mac.
- [33:42]
A
He played. He played. He had it right there.
- [33:44]
B
He didn't understand what he needed to. To do.
- [33:46]
A
Right. And he became Robert St. John.
- [33:48]
B
Like, I don't know about that. Robert St. John.
- [33:51]
A
Yeah, I don't. He feels like an insurance adjuster. Like the kind of come to your house and tell you how long you got to live and then they give you a policy.
- [33:57]
B
They had my business. Robert St. John. Yeah.
- [34:00]
A
I don't like you, Robert. So he read a lot about Richard Prior and started to do open mics and extra work. But it was harder than he thought. It was harder than you thought. Boo.
- [34:11]
B
Yeah. What a shame.
- [34:13]
A
That's the thing. People are like, oh, influencers. Those dog. I'm like, do you know how much work it takes to be an influencer? Them getting up every day, coming up with content, beating their face, filming for hours, editing. Couldn't be me. Okay.
- [34:26]
B
Yeah, yeah, it is. It's a grind. It's a serious. Yes. And that's. It's so funny. Like it. Open mics were not going well. Yeah. Get ready for four more years of this.
- [34:36]
A
Right? What you mean you thought she was gonna go to the first open mic and they'd be like, You're.
- [34:40]
B
Yeah, you got to stick it out. Maybe he didn't really want it. Maybe. Maybe he wanted to pivot to pimp earlier than we thought.
- [34:47]
A
What a pivot.
- [34:48]
B
Yeah.
- [34:50]
A
So it took him a year and a half to get his SAG card. The longest he had worked on anything. A year and a half is not that long. That's not a long time at all.
- [34:57]
B
It took me like seven years.
- [34:59]
A
What are you talking about, bruh? He struggled to get by working at Marshall's department store. Before he settled on an easier way to make money, he would sell drugs. I mean, I feel like working at Marshalls is probably very hard. It's cluttered in there. Probably a lot of go backs. We gotta hang everything everywhere.
- [35:16]
B
Also, like, the kind of people that shop there are like. Like the kind of people that, like, are trying something on and they throw it on the ground. That's how everything. Like, I feel like every time I go into Marshalls, it's like everything is everywhere.
- [35:26]
A
Yep. And I. I feel guilty because I'm very influenced by my environment. So if I go in the place and they look like they don't care, I just be like, oh, well, I don't want this top. Just like, I throw it in the section here.
- [35:38]
B
Exactly. It's like you got that halter top in the fucking little. Like, put it under some weights. Yeah, they do have everything. It's so funny, right?
- [35:48]
A
They do. I mean, one good thing about it is, like, Marshall's whole thing is like, you got a bargain hunt. So they're not gonna organize shit. They're just like some shorts over here for the ladies, streets over here for everybody.
- [36:01]
B
Yeah. Sometimes I'll be wearing something and I won't even realize it was from the women's section. I'll be like, but it was in
- [36:05]
A
the men's section because I put it there because I ain't want it.
- [36:09]
B
100, 100.
- [36:11]
A
So St. John said, I had friends who did drugs. Well, duh, you live in la. And they were like, you need to sell. Like, in Hollywood, people don't care how much it costs. They just want it brought to them. They want discretion. Coke, weed, whatever. I was that dude. I would bring you whatever you wanted. I love how his friends were like, like, you know, you have a real future in this. Like, you need to sell.
- [36:34]
B
Yeah, that's so interesting. Also, I never know, like, when people are like, I didn't just sell weed. I'm like, but how did you get all of it? Like, who was your dealer? Like, I just I guess I don't understand, like, how it all works.
- [36:44]
A
So there's like. So you have, like, the cartel, you know, like, at the top. And that could be. That's not. We always say cartel, but it's not just cartel. Like, the mob has, you know, a huge, like, big, big supply area. Like, there's so many. There's so many different drug suppliers. So you have those people who are basically like the Walmart. They're getting the economies of scale. There's, you know, getting it straight from. They're probably making it, you know, in Colombia or wherever. I just love Columbia. So then you have, like, the middleman, like, distros. So those people, like, bring it out to. Then the people who are, like, heading the crime families or whatever. Then those people give it to, like, the lieutenants. I'm probably getting this wrong, but I know I'm pretty close.
- [37:25]
B
And then it sounds right. I'm like, yeah.
- [37:28]
A
Then those people start getting it down to, like, the community. So then that's how they get it. So it's like you never will go face to face with the person who's, like, making the cocaine for you. You'll never.
- [37:38]
B
You never meet Walter White.
- [37:40]
A
No.
- [37:41]
B
And you don't want to meet Walter White.
- [37:43]
A
You don't. He was a bad guy, but he was so cool.
- [37:46]
B
He was. Heisenberg was a.
- [37:48]
A
Look, right? How do you make meth? Cool methods.
- [37:53]
B
Put on a little top tack, get your mustache together, dress in your all black and start talking. Like, Right.
- [38:01]
A
Yes. Because, like, weed is like, a cool drug. Cocaine is like a cool drug. You'd be like, you see it. It's sexy in movies and stuff. But, like, meth and, like, heroin and. And crack are those drugs where a lot of them are heavily stigmatized. But also, it's like, if anybody was like, yo, we got so much crack at the crib, you trying to come over? I would never be like, yeah, that sounds good.
- [38:23]
B
Maybe, right? Yeah, of course. But it's like, in the gay community, like, meth is very. Oh, yeah.
- [38:28]
A
Method. Yeah. Meth is much bigger.
- [38:31]
B
I've had. I've had friends that have accidentally done meth because they thought it was weed because of how casually it was presented.
- [38:38]
A
So you.
- [38:39]
B
You really don't know? I mean, no.
- [38:41]
A
Yeah, meth is. That's a whole different thing. Shout out to Ed Buck getting arrested, you. That was a pullover for me, a petty pullover. Anyway, I'll do those all the time. So anyways, so he was like, I hooked up this one dude in the Industry, and the rest was history. So he was still a struggling comedian telling unfunny jokes. Oh, no, he was not funny, man. You were right.
- [39:05]
B
You hate to hear it.
- [39:07]
A
Yeah, but he didn't feel like he was financially struggling anymore, so now he's like the drug dealer comedian. So doing stand up one night, he met a girl. We're gonna call her Anna to protect her name. But she was 19, and Anna is like such a.
- [39:20]
B
Okay, it's a. It's a. It's a professional woman's name. Anna. This is Anna, right?
- [39:26]
A
This is Anna. I have so many honors in my life that I feel like that's why I pronounce it that way, because it's just. And I'm like, if y' all want to put some stank on your name. If y' all want. Put some seasoning on it, go ahead. I'm. If I get famous enough, I'm start going by Laissai Lacey.
- [39:40]
B
So you can't do much with Matt. I could be going by Matthew, but I don't like the. The sound.
- [39:46]
A
What about Matthew, Matt, Hugh?
- [39:49]
B
We'll decide later.
- [39:50]
A
Hugh of Matt. I don't know.
- [39:52]
B
Good for someone else.
- [39:54]
A
Look, Timothy is doing the. Timothy.
- [39:57]
B
Tb. Timothy.
- [39:59]
A
Timothy Chalamet. That's what he should have did.
- [40:02]
B
Timothy Chalamet. The name is. The name is a party.
- [40:09]
A
It is. It's always an exclamatory. Timothee Chalamet.
- [40:12]
B
Timothee Chalamet.
- [40:15]
A
Right. Imagine you get your Covid results. It's like Timothy Shamlay. They're like Timothy Chalamet. It's positive. We're actually gonna have to admit. Yeah. Wow.
- [40:25]
B
That was fun to say. Okay, so the results.
- [40:27]
A
Yeah, not good. Prognosis is very negative.
- [40:31]
B
Yeah, but.
- [40:32]
A
So. Yes. I love that. So they started dating. She says he's a very smart guy. He wanted to be famous. After a while, Ana started noting little lies. Once she found an old ID in the name of Henry McElvin. He said it was fake. It. Well, it was your real name. When she was 20, she got pregnant and wanted to keep the child. He broke up with her because he was trying to get famous and didn't want to be tied down. Okay. If you break up with somebody, y' all still got a baby together, though. That don't. Are you gonna just tell the baby
- [41:04]
B
he's got a fake name and no responsibilities? We don't know. And he's can't. He's not funny.
- [41:10]
A
Right. He said, look, tell the baby that we broke up. Like, what? The baby.
- [41:15]
B
The Red flags are falling from the sky.
- [41:19]
A
It's raining red. Not hallelujah. So short after the breakup, he was arrested. Why not? And then it was that Anna realized her baby father was a pimp. After his release from jail, he was back to pimping. He pursued it as though he was making up for lost time. Time. So then he was like, pimping extra hard.
- [41:41]
B
He. He was he. The grind.
- [41:43]
A
He.
- [41:43]
B
He. He took his open mic grind and said, never mind. I'm an actually dig in on the illegal stuff I've been doing, right?
- [41:51]
A
This is my calling. You know, some people's calling is crime. These crimes I don't really love because, like, pimps are so unnecessary in sex work. So like a pimp, but, you know, the middleman, right? The middleman of wet. Especially because pimps usually be causing you more harm than protecting you from danger. Like, get out of here.
- [42:08]
B
Here. Well, because they have, like, a financial stake in it. Yeah. I don't know.
- [42:11]
A
I don't like it. No, I don't like it. Sex work is empowering for women. Women, men. But no pimp. No pimps. So pimps down, hose up. So. So. But sex work had changed a while while he was away. Now it was on Craigslist. So he drew up an escort ad and figured out how to make them stay at the top of the queue when people called. He would pretend to be a woman. How does that work?
- [42:35]
B
Work?
- [42:36]
A
Hello?
- [42:37]
B
But I mean, knowing this clown so far, I probably was like, hi, I'm Marissa.
- [42:42]
A
Just like, okay, I'm about to go meet Marissa. She sound like Elmo. But it's whatever. It'll probably be fine.
- [42:50]
B
I'm almost positive Marissa is Elmo. But I'm still gonna go to get my drugs, right?
- [42:56]
A
Listen, I'm still going down the Sesame Street. Okay, can you tell me how to do it? One drugs, two drugs?
- [43:03]
B
Yes. Like, honestly, Oscar the Grouch has just been around the block. He's like, the reason I'm an asshole is because I'm telling you to leave, right? I know it goes down on this street.
- [43:13]
A
We should all listen to Oscar. I don't know why we kept kicking it. So he was doing all this, right? So when people call, he put on this fake voice to pretend to be a woman. Ana caught on when she found condoms in his car. So to keep her happy, he got her a $40,000 Lexus. He also bought himself a $50,000 Escalade. And so to Ana's annoyance, he bought a Camry for his employees. So we gotta Ride in the Camry and y' all get the Escalade and the legend also.
- [43:38]
B
I didn't realize it's such a lucrative business for him.
- [43:40]
A
Wow. Wow, right? He was. I guess his fake voice was working.
- [43:43]
B
He was. He was making it rain. It was pretty good.
- [43:46]
A
So he tried to restart his entertainment career. He bought a bunch of cheap video equipment and started shooting a reality show with the girls. He put the footage on MySpace and he would buy ads on Power106, hip hop station that led nowhere. Out. Crazy. This, man.
- [44:05]
B
This is like being an arsonist and, like, buying a public access channel to show yourself lighting a house on fire.
- [44:11]
A
Matt, can you believe that we haven't even gotten to the robberies.
- [44:18]
B
I forgot that's what the crux of this was. Oh, my God.
- [44:23]
A
My man is the hardest worker in crime. If they gave out a war for just, like, criminal activity, like, he got to be up there, like, number one.
- [44:30]
B
He's. He is the Sandra Bullock of this industry, and this is his blindside moment.
- [44:35]
A
Constantly working. He's the Samuel Jackson of crime. Okay.
- [44:39]
B
It's wrong, but it's right.
- [44:41]
A
Right. So the robberies began. It's not clear who thought up the idea of robbing banks, but a woman named Danielle Derozier was the first of St. John's girls to give it a try. On March 25, 2008, Danielle walked into bank of America on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood. Yo, do you know where this bank of America is?
- [44:57]
B
Right? Literally? I. I'm very clear about where we're. We're at right now.
- [45:01]
A
Yes. She wore a baggy gray sweatshirt and a large, dark sunglasses, and she held a flip phone to her left ear. She did not put it down. As she approached the counter, without saying a word, she slipped a note to the teller and said, give me all the money in the register. Quickly.
- [45:16]
B
Wow.
- [45:17]
A
Oh, like a movie.
- [45:18]
B
Like, honestly, like, she was getting her star moment together. Yes.
- [45:22]
A
I wonder if he scripted this. Like, I wonder if he's on the phone. Like, okay, okay, okay. Give her the. Give her the.
- [45:26]
B
He was like, so I'm not really a screenwriter per se, but I did do a little bit of bad comedy, and I have some ideas about. About how the narrative could play out.
- [45:36]
A
Yes. Of the robbery. You know what I mean? So your motivation for this is money. Okay. So keep that in your head the whole time.
- [45:42]
B
Just, you're. You're playing the action of you want to steal the money in this bank.
- [45:46]
A
Yes. And then the urgency is coming from, like, the police. Right. So just, like, they're willing to come?
- [45:52]
B
Yeah.
- [45:55]
A
Who will come? Okay, so keep that in the back of your head when you're going in there. All right, Great, Great, great, great. Do we have our wardrobe? A gray sweatshirt. Great. Okay.
- [46:02]
B
Yeah, perfect. Maybe, honestly, maybe a little wig. If I'm gonna go rob a bank, I am gonna be wanting to wear, like, a little bob.
- [46:08]
A
Oh, of course. You're wearing a wig and sunglasses. And these days, a face mask. This is a perfect time to rob a bank.
- [46:15]
B
Truly, not to give any ideas out to the congregation.
- [46:18]
A
Right? Honestly, Robin Banks is so hard these days. Don't even try it. Okay? Don't try it. It's not worth it. It. So unless you work at the bank, it may be an inside job. That could be cute. So. I didn't say that. I didn't say that to.
- [46:33]
B
Allegedly. I don't think I even heard that.
- [46:36]
A
Thank you. I don't think it happened.
- [46:38]
B
I don't think that happened.
- [46:39]
A
We just gaslight the listeners. Yo, what y' all talking about?
- [46:42]
B
Oh, my God.
- [46:43]
A
We never said that. So. Okay, so the teller pressed the silent alarm. Duh. And the two exchanged a look. Danielle calmly walked empty handed. Did. Still talking on the phone. She just. She just left. A few months later, they tried again and were successful. This time, the note was more detailed. It said, quickly, give me the money in your till. Do not press the alarm. I have a weapon, and I would hate to hurt innocent people. Yeah. You came in with a suggestion the first time. You was just like, give me the money, please. And she was like, I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna call the police. What?
- [47:11]
B
Yeah.
- [47:11]
A
And the next time, they were like,
- [47:12]
B
I can multitask, Right?
- [47:15]
A
The silent alarm is right under there for a reason, so that you can't see them pushing. So anyway, April 2010, another one of the girls, Kadara Kilgo, started lobbying to do more robberies. So she was like, guys, we should be robbing more. So St. John and Kilgo agreed together to rob a bank. But they also decided to protect themselves by persuading another woman named Mallory to be the one to go inside. So now they're doing the pimp thing, but for bank robbery.
- [47:39]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [47:40]
A
You ain't pimping me into no bank robbery. If you tell me how to do the robbery, I'm gonna be like, yeah, on Tuesday at Chase National, I'll be there. And then I'm gonna take myself over to TD bank and do the same robbery over there. That was it. Yeah.
- [47:51]
B
Just so I know you're Creating a distraction. Also, I don't trust anyone named Mallory.
- [47:56]
A
Yeah, Mallory is.
- [47:58]
B
She was not the one to be roped in. I mean, if this is a fake name, then I. Then forgive me, whoever the real Malorie is, but Mallory, I'm my eyebrows raised.
- [48:05]
A
Yeah, Malorie doesn't sound like she would be good at robbing banks, but, you
- [48:08]
B
know, name a smart girl Mallory. Anyway, sorry to any.
- [48:11]
A
Mallory. Yo, we dragging to Mallory's. Malorie's come back. I love you. Yeah. All right. So she walked out of the bank with nearly $6,000, and the Spree began. She got hooked on doing it, the high, I guess, St. John says. But now the cops had some of the girls photos, which meant that St. John could no longer advertise on Craigslist. So as a precaution, St. John also pulled the reality TV footage off MySpace. At this point, the FBI alerted the media. KTLA said on the evening news, right now, she seems to be unstoppable, hitting eight banks in the last 10 days of Southern California. Yeah, it's my newscaster voice.
- [48:47]
B
So you took me there.
- [48:51]
A
So the FBI believed that there were only. There was only one robber. But some witnesses gave descriptions that said there's probably more than one robbers. Because, like, one robber, like, one witness description was like, oh, she's like five' three. She got red hair. Somebody else was like, she's like five, seven and blonde. But it's called wigs. But I don't know how you make your height taller. Maybe she wore heels to some of the robbers.
- [49:07]
B
There could be some lifted shoes happening. I mean, in the world of espionage and robbery, they have many ways of disguising.
- [49:15]
A
Maybe Mallory had some of that protein powder and got taller, you know? We know.
- [49:19]
B
Is he the same girl from the first story?
- [49:22]
A
She was like, look, I worked at Panera Bread. Then I met this comedy pimp and started robbing banks. Sounds. Sounds like an LA story to me. So the FBI took a tip from somebody, a snitch who snitched on Mallory. Y' all ain't right.
- [49:37]
B
Listen, that's bad. You know, Mallory had it hard enough having that name. She didn't need you to snitch.
- [49:42]
A
And this is how they get caught. So we're reaching the end of the story. So the report said that a woman had been smoking crack and bragging about robbing banks. Oh, no.
- [49:53]
B
That makes me feel just sad. That's the thing. At the end of the day, it's like I am on their side because I don't Want them to have to rob, Right?
- [49:59]
A
If you have to rob a bank, it is because you are in dire strains.
- [50:03]
B
And like, yeah. No one's just like, I think. I think it seemed fun. I'd like to risk my goddamn life. No way.
- [50:09]
A
No. Why would they? So, you know, the desperation, the capitalism, the being in a hard position, and then, you know, finding out that sadly, you know, she's using drugs and talking about robbing a bank. And I hate that she's talking about robbing the bank. Like, girl, don't snitch on yourself. Like we say on this show all
- [50:27]
B
the time, gotta be a seal trap.
- [50:29]
A
Don't fuck up your bag. But that's the thing about something that's exciting. Like, I remember I did. I didn't date this guy. I went on one date with him, and the first thing he told me was when we were boxing together in this boxing class was that he was Puerto Rican for some reason. And I was like, oh, I speak Spanish. We go on this date. Long story short, he was not Puerto Rican. His mom was white and his dad was black. And I was like, oh, so who's Puerto Rican? And he was like, oh, no one. I just said that to impress you. And I was like, huh?
- [50:51]
B
Okay, so you lied about something really crazy.
- [50:55]
A
Yes. And then after that, he told me, like, I was like, oh, where do you work? And he was like, oh, I used to work at this bank. And I was like, oh, you moved on. Are you changing your profession or whatever? And he was like, oh, no, I got fired. And I was like, oh, that sucks. He was. He was late a lot or something. And he was like, oh, no. Insider trading.
- [51:09]
B
Believe the bat. What? Come on. You were like, oh, you didn't show up for work. You were willing to believe the best.
- [51:17]
A
He was hot.
- [51:17]
B
Insider trading.
- [51:18]
A
You know, that's when you give the excuses on them. You're like, no, no, no. Shh, shh. Don't tell me that.
- [51:23]
B
And also, like, when people are like, yeah, I went away for insider training, they think you're gonna be impressed that it's like. Like a cool, like, smart. Way smart. But then it's like, yeah, but you got caught doing it.
- [51:32]
A
And the way that he got caught was he bragged around the office about how much money he made. And that's when I was mad. I could have. I could have got with insider trading. But not you telling everybody.
- [51:43]
B
No, we've also all done illegal stuff. You just don't talk about it.
- [51:47]
A
Right.
- [51:48]
B
Like, everyone has broken the law in their life. You just cannot be speaking about it.
- [51:52]
A
Right? Laws are suggestions, okay? They're like. They're just like they were made up by other people. How dare somebody else on this planet be like, dims the rules. No, I live here too.
- [52:03]
B
It's a loose prompt, right? It's a guideline.
- [52:11]
A
Do with it what you will.
- [52:13]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [52:15]
A
So they. So basically, she snitches on herself. Detectives interview the bank tellers, and they're like, yeah, yeah, that's her. So they swing by Goodnight Inn, where she's currently staying. They see her outside. She's recognizable from surveillance stuff. They arrest her. This all happened on her 20th birthday. Oh, so young. I'm like, let this baby out of jail. She is a baby. She ain't even got her full brain developed. You don't get that till you're 25. Let this baby.
- [52:41]
B
Someone just needs to tell her, like, this is not the way.
- [52:45]
A
Put the baby in rehab and let her get her life together, okay? She could probably be a great actress or something. Put her in rehab.
- [52:51]
B
She's got drama mama, right?
- [52:54]
A
That's what you need, baby.
- [52:55]
B
She's a storyteller.
- [52:56]
A
She tells stories about herself, Robin Banks. The story was probably too good. That's why the girl went to the FBI. She was like, I gotta tell somebody else. The FBI.
- [53:05]
B
Literally. Yeah.
- [53:06]
A
I have to share this. So St. John continued to rob banks, and a week after, he picked up another young woman named Kayla Conti at her mother's house. They hit a bank in Northridge, but got less than they expected. So they went to Chase bank in Mission Hills that they had robbed twice before. Now, you can't go back to the same spot that you hit the lick at.
- [53:23]
B
I mean, if they robbed it successfully twice before, maybe. Maybe that bank was a mess. Maybe that is the bank to go rob. You just said the location and the. The. The branch. Yeah, you're quote, unquote, not telling the congregation to rob. Meanwhile, you're just like, this one's real easy.
- [53:43]
A
Okay? So on the 400 block of. This is the marshals of banks. They just leave the money everywhere. Okay. Going on in there.
- [53:51]
B
Get yourself. The employees are very lax. Yeah.
- [53:54]
A
They're like, it's not my bank. They got the FDIC and I'm not the FDI. The D Odyssey.
- [53:59]
B
So, yeah, grab. Grab $20,000 and a halter top, and
- [54:03]
A
it'll be in the same place because I put it back, I ain't want the halter top. So they go back over there to rob this bank again. Lord Jesus. So St. John sent Canty inside and when she didn't come out, he recalled, she's in forever. Everybody knows you can't stay in forever. A disguised officer was parked right outside the bank. The officer had been there for half an hour when he saw a bank employee step out the front door and take off running through the parking lot.
- [54:30]
B
Oh, no. Oh no. What? Something was wrong.
- [54:38]
A
Yeah. When the employees run out of the business in a sprint, something's wrong. So Candy was running away with her cell phone up to her ear. She screamed, where are you? Come and get me. They're chasing me. So the employee was running after her. So this
- [54:53]
B
unreal. This, this just like full zoo that is happening.
- [54:58]
A
God. So St. John later got a call from Canty's mother saying Canty would not rat him out, but that they needed $5,000 for bail. But before they could get the money together, Canty started talking. And detectives traced the card to St. John time. So St. John was still on parole and he was wearing an ankle bracelet.
- [55:14]
B
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's a bummer, sir.
- [55:18]
A
You. How you doing? Robberies and you got a full beep, beep, beep, beep.
- [55:22]
B
Yeah, that makes me feel like he felt like there was no other option. That's, that's, that's dark.
- [55:27]
A
I don't know if you buy $50,000 cars and $40,000 cars.
- [55:31]
B
It's just also that
- [55:34]
A
it's like you could have probably just stabbed and.
- [55:36]
B
Yeah. Just, you know, checked yourself. I'm gone. Back to the open. I know, I know it was a bad situation, but it can't be worse than this.
- [55:43]
A
Lord. Well, guys, this story has more details, but they kind of get to me more bummerish. So we're going to skip over those. I hope that all those ladies out there are doing well. I hope St. John is rotten somewhere because he's trash.
- [55:57]
B
Yeah.
- [55:58]
A
And we'll be back after some non scam advertisements for the saddest part of the show. It's the end where I have to let Matt go.
- [56:04]
B
No, I refuse to.
- [56:05]
A
Robbery and fraud. And we're back. And it's time for the saddest part of the show. It's time for Scammer of the week. This is when we'll give our praise to a charlatan who's really worthy of it. Or maybe we won't like old what was his name? Huck? Henry fucking rob St. John. Fuck that bitch. You know, sometimes we like him, sometimes we don't. So scammer for weeks Is a Texas teen. Shout out to Texas. That's where I'm from. He collected $17,000. Oh, no. In a fake cancer scam.
- [56:38]
B
Oh, no.
- [56:40]
A
You can't do a cancer scam.
- [56:42]
B
That is the lowest of the low.
- [56:45]
A
Like he's a teenager. So again, brain not fully developed, but.
- [56:48]
B
Right, right, right, right.
- [56:50]
A
So 19 year old Angie Gomez. Okay, well, we do love female representation. Women in business,
- [56:59]
B
women in tech. There probably was some tech involved, right?
- [57:03]
A
STEM program for the girls. Yes. We love a woman.
- [57:10]
B
Yes.
- [57:11]
A
Girl boss. Not girl boss. I'm leaving. I'm getting my briefcase and I'm going. So. She allegedly received $17,000 in donations and gifts for her Achieve the Dream Foundation. Great branding. Excellent branding, flavorful. Angie claimed that her cancer began January 2011 and that doctors had given her six months to live. And she told the El Paso Times, the doctors are telling me to prepare myself and start planning for what's about to come. They think the worst is coming when you start to feel sick and you can't move. I think they're all crazy. But detectives said Angie never suffered from cancer. Fundraisers were held to help Angie start the Achieve the Dream foundation, which she claimed helped children and families also suffering from her same circumstances. Through the foundation, she sold T shirts, merch, and magnets.
- [58:09]
B
Oh, no magnets.
- [58:11]
A
Even a prom had been organized for Angie.
- [58:14]
B
Oh, I hate that.
- [58:15]
A
This. After she said she missed her high school's prom because of the cancer.
- [58:20]
B
She wanted a party, she said. She said, give me all this money at an event.
- [58:24]
A
This was the first prom on Netflix. No. So the prom was also meant to be a fundraiser for the Achieve the Dream Foundation. This is bold.
- [58:37]
B
Achieve the Dream. Oh, my God, this is so much. You see, this is like this. Maybe this girl does need, like, she needs to go away somewhere.
- [58:46]
A
She said Achieve Dream Foundation. No. An investigation was launched in 2011, in June, when an anonymous person said there was some holes in Angie's story. So we got a hater in our midst. So one January 2011, she said, the girls only gave me six months, right? So. So this is June. So this should be month five, where, like, if it's, you know, so maybe this person started putting together the dates
- [59:18]
B
or like I was gonna say, like, also when. When someone is lying about having cancer and they're not ill. That's one. That's one tell.
- [59:27]
A
I guess that is in my spin class.
- [59:33]
B
She's beating me. The instructor's obsessed with her.
- [59:39]
A
Right? That's what I hope. It was something really petty like, yeah, really, really Petty. And then she was like, I'm snitching. Yeah. So it had been six months since doctors supposedly told Gomez that her cancer was fatal. Right. So there was a lot of suspicions, just as like I said right before. And then at the one point the mom became aware that this was going on, she tried to talk to her and told her her to tell the truth. So. Wait, wait.
- [60:07]
B
Yeah.
- [60:08]
A
Her mom didn't know that she was lying about this? Oh. Cuz she's 19, she probably doesn't live in the house.
- [60:12]
B
Yeah. So she was. That's crazy to be able to lie to your parents about that. That's nuts. To, to tell, to tell the people that you love the most that you, you're going through this. I don't know.
- [60:28]
A
No, I would never do that. That's extremely. Like, this woman must be like a sociopath, like something.
- [60:32]
B
That's sociopath behavior.
- [60:35]
A
Right. So at the time, Angie's fundraising was supported by Horizon City High School. However, the district was unaware that her claims were untrue. She eventually was arrested and her bond was set at $50,000. I, here's the thing. If this had been a GoFundMe, I wouldn't feel as bad because like, I don't know when I give money to anybody on GoFundMe if it's going where they say it is. You know what I mean? Like, I've never been like, oh, someone's like, oh, my daughter was in a car accident and like, we just need money for her back surgery. I've never been like six months later, let me see your daughter back. I didn't know my 12 went to the right place.
- [61:12]
B
Like, exactly, exactly. I, I'll be giving money to if I'm Convinced by the GoFundMe it's enough.
- [61:18]
A
Yeah, right. And it's like I, I, no matter what, as long as my intentions were positive, I can't do nothing about it. And so I just let it go. But I think it's different when you're doing this as a community organizer and you're literally like throwing a prom and you're like doing, you know.
- [61:33]
B
No, this is an elaborate lie. This is, this is, this is dark. This is dark sided.
- [61:39]
A
Yes. And this honestly makes me understand why Susan G. Komen is so litigious. Because I don't know if you know, but Susan G. Komen Cancer found Breast Cancer Foundation. They will sue the shit out of you if you try to use a Susan A G or a call and it is not from their business. They Susan will Yeah, they'll say, hello, Hello. Is that a pink ribbon I see? You better put that shit in the
- [62:00]
B
trash here to collect or reject.
- [62:03]
A
Right? You can run a race, but not for the Cure, bitch, I don't know what you. That's our race. That's what we run it like, So I understand that even more now when you have people like this who are just creating fake foundations and, you know, exploiting their community, it's terrifying. And you a bad child like you 19. Well, actually, you're not 19 no more. If this was in 2011. Honey, that was 10 years ago. You 29?
- [62:28]
B
Yeah. She's approaching 30. And I would say I hope you found a way to enterprise or, you know, get better at this or put your skills to better use. Maybe you should be an actress. Maybe you should start going with the open mics. You seem to get a real reaction when you perform. Not for nothing, move to LA or a producer.
- [62:48]
A
Because, honey, you were putting on events.
- [62:50]
B
Oh, she was. She was an event. She was producing events.
- [62:54]
A
She is a coordinator. So, Angie, just, please, I hope by now you have taken your skills and, you know, take your talents to a better venue. Because scamming people, like, because you are an icon. Yes, you are an icon, and you are very talented, but this is not the way. This is wrong. We don't support it. But, guys, that brings us to the end. Oh, my God. This hour flew by.
- [63:15]
B
It truly did. This is so fun.
- [63:18]
A
It's so fun. I feel like I've known you. This is our first time meeting over zoom, and I feel like I've talked to you forever. Oh, my God.
- [63:24]
B
I could stay forever. You honestly have such a fun show. And honestly, I feel educated. I feel like I know what to look out for. Yes.
- [63:34]
A
So that's what we want y' all to leave with. That or a plan. I didn't. I guess the bank that I talked about in Ridgewood, it did tighten up, so. But maybe don't try to.
- [63:42]
B
Well, we hope. And only the congregation can let us know. Let us know how your attempted robbery
- [63:48]
A
goes at the Northridge Bank. No. Oh, my God. So we always ask, Matt, where do you want to be found?
- [63:56]
B
That's such a good question and such an important distinction.
- [63:59]
A
Yes.
- [64:00]
B
Like, I don't want to be found in Gainesville, Florida. Dead. Right. But I would love to be found on my podcast, Las Cochin Reese's with Bowen Yang. We release episodes every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcasts, which I love to say. And also, I'm hosting the show Hot Dog, which You were kind enough to mention at the top of the app. It's on hbo, Max. It's a dog grooming competition show. It's a blast. You root for everyone. I'm on there with Robin, the who's the best? And also Jess Rona, who's like the empress of dog grooming on Instagram. And you got to check the show out, out. It's fun. We get put into fashions. The dogs are adorable, and the groomers are so talented, and their stories are amazing. So you got to check it out when that drops on February 4th, and then all 12 episodes of that will be out. So you can. You can binge your ass off, baby.
- [64:48]
A
We love a binge. I need a binge. Honestly, I can't watch it unless it's all out, because I'm gonna just be starving.
- [64:54]
B
That's what I'm saying about WandaVision. You know WandaVision on Disney plus, like, I will be trying to watch that show, and it's like, literally, the episodes are 26 minutes long, and I'm like, God damn it. Like, put this all out at once. Like, I am hooked, But I don't want to wait a week. A week, A week. Because I don't know what I'm going to be like in six weeks. My life could be different.
- [65:11]
A
Nobody knows what we're going to be like in six weeks. I'm the same way. I haven't started WandaVision because of that. I was like, y' all have y' all takes. I'm away until Wanda's whole vision is out.
- [65:19]
B
Yeah.
- [65:20]
A
And then I'm a go look and see what she was looking at.
- [65:22]
B
I'm not here for the part. Partial vision. Yeah, exactly right?
- [65:25]
A
I want 2020, but I do not want that year back. No, no, guys, as always, if you want to write into the show scamgottispodmail.com, snitch on your friends and family. If we don't read the letter on this show, you guys know we have that bonus show, Confessions, which is rolling back out this February. Is it fourth, Chelsea?
- [65:44]
B
Yes.
- [65:45]
A
Which is rolling out February 4th. Leave that in.
- [65:47]
B
Everything's rolling out February 4th. We love it.
- [65:49]
A
Yes. Oh, yes. Come on. Hot dog. Hot dog. And also, huge day. Huge day for entertainment. No. Hot dog looks so fun, and I'm very excited. The clips that I've seen have been amazing. So, yes, guys, tune the in. As always, snitch on your friends and family at Scam got his pot gmail.com and if you don't hear your listener letters on the show again, confessions February 4th. And if you want to find me and all my shenanigans, that's D I V A L A C I. Diva Lacey on all platforms. Congregation oh, and Diva Lacey on Clubhouse. If y' all want to be messy, maybe I'll start a stamp. Congregation Stay Scheming Scam Goddess this has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess is starring me, Duh. Scam Goddess, AKA Lacy Mosley. Scam Goddess is produced by Chelsea Jacobson and engineered by Marina Paiz with research by Sherlyn Vera. Stay Schem.
- [66:52]
B
It.