The Swindling Scots with Open Mike Eagle

Summary

Scam Goddess: "The Swindling Scots" with Open Mike Eagle

Release Date: May 5, 2020
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Open Mike Eagle

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Episode Overview

This episode of Scam Goddess centers around historical and modern scams, with a blend of personal anecdotes, audience-submitted stories, and a deep dive into a legendary music industry con. Joined by rapper and comedic talent Open Mike Eagle, Laci explores scams from pyramid schemes to a pair of Scottish rappers who fooled the industry. The episode’s hallmark is its irreverent, playful energy, highlighting the lighter side of true crime and fraud.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Art of Blending In and Everyday Scams

[00:45 - 03:53]

• Laci introduces Open Mike Eagle, known more for comedy clubs than rap concerts, joking about his ability to scam his way onto shows.
• They both riff on the gig economy and how digital media outlets (Super Deluxe, BuzzFeed, Funny or Die) were “scammed” out of existence by changes to Facebook’s algorithm.
  • Notable Quote:
    “Mark Zuckerberg… we should have known with that fucking haircut that he was up to no good.” – Laci, [02:42]
  • Open Mike adds insight into how Facebook misreported video numbers, defrauding the whole online content industry.

2. Pyramid Schemes & Multi-level Marketing (MLMs)

[05:18 - 09:12]

• Open Mike recounts his near-misses with several MLMs: Cutco Knives, Prepaid Legal, Primerica.
  • Cutco: Required making a list of every acquaintance as a potential customer.
  • Memorable moment: “I got to the fifth day of training... they say, ‘these will be your first customers,’ I’m like, oh hell no.” – Mike, [05:52]
  • Prepaid Legal: Pay a monthly fee for legal emergencies—a retainer disguised as a subscription.
    Laci: “Okay, so a retainer.”
    Mike: “But we call it on the streets… prepaid legal.” [07:20]
  • They joke that if you’re pre-paying for legal help, you’re basically insuring against your own crimes.
• Primerica: “You’re trying to sell life insurance to young people… and then get them to sell life insurance to others,” highlighting the financial pressure and awkward tactics.

3. Tales from the Listeners: School Scams and High School Hustles

[11:43 - 19:09]

• Laci shares hilarious and crafty scams submitted by listeners:

  • Photoshop School Scam:
    Kiki from Florida describes manipulating reimbursement forms and tickets for her performing arts high school under the guidance of her teacher.
    • The teacher instructed her to Photoshop purchase requests, fudge box office records, and pocket cash from “comp” tickets.
    • Laci: “Who is going to the performance arts high school and demanding a refund after a show? That is the pettiest shit I have ever heard!” [13:08]
    • Kiki’s teacher leveraged her scam to control recommendation letters for college, ensuring silence among the students.
    • Mike: “This is collusion.” [16:41]
  • Fake Report Cards:
    Kiki also Photoshopped grades for classmates, keeping them out of trouble with their parents, leading to comical discrepancies between “GPAs” and academic standing.

• Pizza Place Freebies:
  Matthew confesses to calling in and cancelling pizza orders, then picking up the “canceled” pies as a “hungry teen.” Eventually, local spots caught on.

  • Mike: “I don’t know about a scam where you gotta pretend to be poor…” [20:02]

4. First-hand Fiasco: The Stolen Grant in Uganda

[20:25 - 23:49]

• Open Mike tells a personal story of going to Uganda for a rap education project, only to discover the local partner had pocketed their grant money and vanished.
  • They later found him gambling at a casino.
  • “I’ve never seen a man walk away so fast… it was like a dust trail.” – Mike, [22:04]
• Laci and Mike discuss the universal rules for traveling scams: never pay someone all the money upfront, especially at airports.

5. Historic Hoodwink: The Tale of Syllable and Brains

[24:32 - 47:04]

• The Main Scam:
  Two aspiring Scottish rappers, Billy Boyd and Gavin Bain, reinvent themselves as “Syllable and Brains,” faking American accents and personas. They convince Sony to sign them for $75,000.
  • They kept up the Californian act for two years—never breaking character, even in private relationships.
  • “Imagine like you can’t even have sex without taking your accent off.” – Laci, [33:08]
• Their music (e.g., the track “Tongue Kung Fu”) was panned for its lack of authenticity and talent.
  • Laci, hearing the song: “That beat sounds like something from the Super Mario Brothers movie…” [31:40]
  • Mike: “I hate them so much.” [40:30]
• The scheme eventually collapses under stress and paranoia; after a falling out, they retreat to Scotland, but eventually cash in on fame through a documentary (“The Great Hip-Hop Hoax”).
  • Notable Insight:
    “Every great scammer deserves a movie.” – Laci, [36:09]

Industry Critique:

• Both host and guest express frustration at how privilege lets scammers get away with more, and even rewards them with further success and notoriety instead of consequences.

6. British Slang for Scamming and Charismatic Conclusion

[47:46 - 52:09]

• Scammer of the Week: A New Jersey contractor who staged an unconvincing slip-and-fall (caught instantly by surveillance video).
  • “He didn’t even fall. Like, in a slip and fall, you’re supposed to fall… He laid down next to the ice.” – Laci, [50:00]
• Laci provides “professional slip and fall” advice cloaked in humor:
  “Next time you see a puddle, don’t look at it. It’s not a puddle—it’s an opportunity.” [52:07]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Mark Zuckerberg… we should have known with that fucking haircut he was up to no good.” – Laci, [02:42]
• “They want you to get on everybody’s nerves for money.” – Mike, on MLMs, [07:07]
• “Every nigga named Matthew is a scam.” – Laci, humorously generalizing, [19:20]
• “I’ve never seen a man walk away so fast. Like, it was like a dust trail.” – Mike, [22:04]
• “Imagine you can’t even have sex without taking your accent off.” – Laci, on Syllable and Brains living in character, [33:08]
• “Every great scammer deserves a movie.” – Laci, [36:09]
• “Next time you see a puddle, don't look at it. It's not a puddle. It's an opportunity.” – Laci, [52:07]

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Timestamps for Essential Segments

• 00:45-03:53 – Introductions, Facebook’s algorithm scam
• 05:18-09:12 – Cutco Knives, Prepaid Legal, Primerica MLM stories
• 11:43-19:09 – Listener scam stories (School, Pizza)
• 20:25-23:49 – Open Mike’s Uganda Grant scam story
• 24:32-47:04 – Syllable and Brains Rap Scam: deep dive
  • Tongue Kung Fu discussion and music: [31:01-32:17]
• 47:46-52:09 – Scammer of the Week (New Jersey slip-and-fall), closing

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Tone and Language

The episode is high-energy, irreverent, and peppered with playful banter, sharp social commentary, and a focus on the ridiculous or creative side of scams. Both Laci and Open Mike riff off each other’s jokes, balancing critique and comedy in a manner that brings the “Con-gregation” (audience) into the fun.

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Summary

This episode continues Scam Goddess’s mission of exposing and celebrating scams—big, small, historic, and personal—highlighting the entrepreneurial creativity at play in fraudulent schemes while also critiquing the systems that enable or reward such scams. Listeners are left laughing, a little wary, and highly entertained.

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Stay schemin’!

Transcript

[A]

Scams C, Robbery and Frauds. Scams C, Robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's up, congregation? We are back with another installment of Scam Goddess. It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Yes. I named the show after me, and I'm so excited. I have a super talented rapper. He doesn't call himself a comedian, but you can find him performing at more comedy shows than me. But he's been in the game, killing it. This is open Mic Eagle.

[B]

Yeah. You exposing my scam right now. Cause I can sneak onto any comedy show. Cause I'm just confident like that.

[A]

He's like, yeah, let me do 10 at the comedy Store. And he's like, why you got a band?

[B]

Right? I'm bringing all this equipment. I got a sound check.

[A]

I was like, he's the most prepared stand up we've ever had.

[B]

Take me 11 minutes to set up for 10 minutes.

[A]

I love it. I feel like I met you. I met you doing. What was that show on that?

[B]

Thrift Thrift Hall.

[A]

The Thrift Hall. The Thrift Hall. Was that supreme? Was that.

[B]

Was that what it was called? No, that was on.

[A]

What was it called? Super Tassel.

[B]

Super. Super Deluxe.

[A]

Super Deluxe. Thank you. Oh. Shout out to 081. Shout out to Cody, our producer, who has now traded in his production cards for the MCU unit.

[B]

Zig is the man.

[A]

Zig is the man. We love you so much, Zig. By the time this comes out, y' all gonna be like, y' all really hated him. Like, why y' all ain't say nothing earlier? Cause we don't release these as we make them. That is my scam. But I'd love to welcome Brody Reed, our new producer. What's up, Brody?

[B]

What's up, guys?

[A]

Brody.

[B]

I love Brody.

[A]

Already coming in, saving the day. So it's Super Deluxe. Okay, well, RIP Super Deluxe.

[B]

Yeah. It's hard to keep track of all these little things that pop up and go away and get bought by Time Warner.

[A]

Literally. Well. Cause that's all a scam in itself. It's all these little Internet companies. I feel bad because Facebook ruined so many budding Internet comedy enterprises.

[B]

Did it?

[A]

Yeah. Like Super Deluxe, they really hit Funny or Die Hard. They hit buzzfeed Hard because they changed the algorithms on their page so that you couldn't just share videos without Facebook being able to tamper with who sees them or if they even get any views at all. And how many views are actually getting.

[B]

No, the other side of that. And since we're talking about Scams Yes. A big Facebook scam that ruined video production as an industry.

[A]

Oh shit.

[B]

Was that Facebook used to falsely report their numbers.

[A]

Oh yeah, they did. Yeah.

[B]

That was huge. That put a bunch of people out of business.

[A]

And that's. So Mark Zuckerberg is out here. We should have known with that fucking haircut that he was up to no good.

[B]

Cause like, he never looks honest.

[A]

His barber ain't honest. He ain't honest.

[B]

Like he too rich to be lying like that.

[A]

He really is.

[B]

He's too rich.

[A]

It's like we gave you all the money and all the passcodes, Zuck. What else do you want?

[B]

Yeah, he got everything.

[A]

I gave him everything. At this point, I don't even care no more. Cause I'm like, he got it already.

[B]

Like I be trying not to do that. I be trying to hold onto a little bit of something. Cause I just. I don't know who he gonna give it to. I mean, scares me.

[A]

Everybody has it already. You know what I mean? They'd be like, trace your fingerprint. I'm like, sure,

[B]

I do clear at the airport. You know where you do the fingerprint. I do that. And I shouldn't. Cause I carry weed on an airplane all the time. So I shouldn't also give them my fingerprints or. But I do for convenience.

[A]

I mean, that's the thing about the airport. I feel like I could run a scam at the airport just being like adjacent to tsa, just asking people for information. Like they would give it up. The airport is the one place where people are like, okay, I guess, you know, my mother made a name. My son here. Okay, here a photo of him when he was four years old. We actually going to Chattanooga. Who y' all gonna see? We gonna see my granny. Like tell em anything.

[B]

All you gotta do is wear a security uniform and some black gym shoes

[A]

and they'll tell you anything and be angry.

[B]

Oh, so. So if I'm friendly, people gonna know, right?

[A]

You right. You gotta be perpet.

[B]

So tired.

[A]

I'm so mad.

[B]

I'm so tired. I like the people who do things and entertain themselves while they're telling us what we should and shouldn't put in a bin. Yeah, yeah, I like them.

[A]

Oh yeah. Cause I like when they just yell like, they're like, no belts, no shoes, no water. Pour that water out. Hey, get them belts off. Take them socks out if you got a laptop. Put that shit on the train.

[B]

And then they be mad at your pockets. They be so mad at pockets. Is there anything in your pockets?

[A]

They also Will give you advice about what to wear through tsa. I went through once to some overalls, and they were like, sis, don't wear those. I was like, why? It was like, too many buttons. Next time we searching, I was like, damn, Damn. They give it outfit recommendations. I was like, okay. And that's the one place where white people can touch your hair. And every time I go through that little hair scanner, it always puts a little yellow box on my shit. Here comes a happy white lady with two hands out. She said, you can't say nothing now.

[B]

Finally.

[A]

Finally give me those naps. I'm like, you know, I don't have no guns in here. They're like, we don't.

[B]

I text you, though.

[A]

They were like, I don't even have to ask. The government said, I don't gotta ask either. Oh, man. Oh, man. But wait, what's your relationship with Scams Mike?

[B]

Oh, man, I used to. Well, I've come dangerously close to doing, like, every pyramid scheme on earth. Like, I've. Man. You know the cutcoat knives?

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

I got to the fifth day of training stop. They was about to set me out on my whole family. Like, it was weird. On the fourth day, they give you this blank sheet of paper with, like, 50 blanks on it, right? Like 50 lines on it. And they're like, when you come back tomorrow on this paper, write down the names of every person you know.

[A]

And I'm like, every person you know?

[B]

And I'm like, well, fuck, I know a lot of people. I'm gonna get an A on this paper. And I'm writing all these names and shit. Like, just everybody I could think of. And they say, these will be your first customers. I'm like, oh, hell no. I gotta get outta here.

[A]

They said, christmas is right around the right.

[B]

Got me doing demonstrations at the houses of other broke college students. I think not.

[A]

What's so crazy about that, too, is, like, that was a time where even black people could go door to door with lots of knives. Knives. You cannot do that anymore. Just traveling around with knives. And we all thought this was fine. And they'd be like, let me do a demonstration. So now you have a stranger at your door cutting shit up with knives,

[B]

pennies, and shoes and shit. Like, you don't need a knife for that. Those things don't need to be cut.

[A]

You never know when you need to cut.

[B]

I have never cut a shoe.

[A]

I be needing to cut shoes all the time. And pennies.

[B]

What do you use?

[A]

I need to cut through marble. What you Making for dinner marble.

[B]

You eat marble?

[A]

Listen, you never know. You never know. But multi level marketing schemes are always so interesting like that because they are such a burden to your family.

[B]

Yeah, that's what they want you to get on everybody nerves for money. And then they want you to flip them into money makers under. So Cutco almost did prepaid legal. Almost did.

[A]

Now what is prepaid legal?

[B]

Prepaid legal is a wonderful scam. So basically you pay money every month just in case you need a lawyer. It's prepaid legal.

[A]

So a retainer. Yes.

[B]

And you paid it already.

[A]

But we call it on the streets prepaid legal.

[B]

Prepaid legal.

[A]

Listen, I work for layaway legal now. You know you out here doing shady shit, right?

[B]

You know you need to put a little something on a lawyer.

[A]

Okay, Put a little something on a lawyer. Put five on a lawyer. I got five on it every month.

[B]

And. And this is one of those other ones where they were not only trying to get you to sell the service, they was trying to get you to get other people to sell the service. Because then you get a little bit of what they make and the whole thing goes on and on.

[A]

Perfect. Mlm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to know who is prepaying for their legal and has this worked out. Can't you just get a lawyer when you need one?

[B]

That's the. That's the way it's supposed to work. That is why there's accidentes on the side of the bus, right?

[A]

Ambulance chasers.

[B]

Yeah. So I don't know if prepaid legal ever actually worked for anybody. I'm sure people still out there playing paying their lawyer bill right now ain't never needed nothing.

[A]

Right? Listen, but I will say if you're the type of criminal who has criminal insurance, AKA prepaid legal, that's kind of

[B]

weird you implicating yourself a little bit, huh?

[A]

You like I am doing crime and I'm not trying to do time eventually. Okay, so let me go ahead and throw a little something down.

[B]

Oh man.

[A]

Yeah. Those are excellent scams. I kind of wish that you had gotten more involved. I'm glad you made it to the fifth day of Cutcoat. Nice. Before you're like something's up.

[B]

I almost did Primerica.

[A]

Okay, what is Primerica?

[B]

Primerica is where you try to sell people life insurance.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I have a young people like yourself, you trying to sell them life insurance when they 24 and a half years old and then you try to get them to sell life insurance also.

[A]

I remember when the life insurance man came to my house Mm.

[B]

He looked rich as hell, didn't he? Mm. They always look rich as hell.

[A]

Except for the ones who look sweaty.

[B]

Okay, that's real.

[A]

I feel like there's two branches. Either they look rich as hell or

[B]

they sweaty, or they got the big pit stains.

[A]

Right? Like, I really need you to sign your life away. Just put your name down on the paper.

[B]

Yeah. So they. You know, he came and he gave us a presentation at our house that was half about how much we was gonna die, and the other half was about how rich we was gonna be before we die. Cause we was gonna sell life insurance to other young people.

[A]

How much we were gonna die. Listen, y' all gonna die a lot.

[B]

Gonna die so fast.

[A]

Listen. It goes by in a blink of eye. You know, y' all already. Every second you breathe, you're finna die.

[B]

That's one last breath that you got in your body. Okay?

[A]

Now you gonna be real rich while you're taking these last breaths.

[B]

And only then

[A]

this. I. I love a scam where you have to pull up to somebody's house, because that is just. You have to be a special type of person. I personally don't enjoy going into people's houses. I hate it on Halloween when everybody opened their door and I had to smell their house. Like, that was the worst part of Halloween.

[B]

Oh, no. I didn't even think about it, though. Yeah.

[A]

When people open their door, you smell all up in their house. And it normally wasn't good.

[B]

Weird food.

[A]

Listen, I'm not. I won't say weird food because that sounds a little xenophobic, but a lot of people can't cook in general, so. So not even culture wise. Just like everybod was just trash on my block.

[B]

And then it just mixes in with whatever dogs and cats they have happening in their house.

[A]

And people who have cats don't know that their house smell.

[B]

They don't.

[A]

I mean, mine doesn't because I'm, like, vigilant about it to the point where you may never know. I have a cat, but a lot of people don't.

[B]

The house just smell like ammonia.

[A]

Ooh, Lord. Yeah, that's what I like. I like my house to always smell like I just killed a person.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

In it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, like, I did a real hasty cleanup job.

[B]

Do you need prepaid legal?

[A]

I might actually. Let's talk about it after the show also. Cause I might need prepaid legal.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

I'm not trying to pay all my legal up front.

[B]

No, you can't. Who can afford that all day legal up front.

[A]

No one.

[B]

What are you, rich selling life insurance or something?

[A]

You about to give me all of them. He's doing a cutcoat knife demonstration on our table right now, so. All right, guys, we're gonna jump into what's hot and fried. This is gonna be a little bit of a. Like a mail bag, loosey goosey show, because we've been. We've been getting so many emails. Guys, congregation shout out to y' all for running us your old scams and. And teaching us about new ones. Someone gave me a good scam for Airbnb and. And share your number with people without them knowing I can't say it on air. They told me I can't say it on air.

[B]

I understand what that means.

[A]

So, like, when you use Airbnb, basically, they're just like the middleman bitch, right? You know I don't like Airbnb.

[B]

I like how you said that, too. That was real authoritative. Yes.

[A]

So they keep you from having interactions with one another, because then you could just be like, hey, let me rent the place out and I'll pay you directly. Airbnb doesn't get a cut, and it's all Gucci. So she taught me how you can put your number in a format to make it not apparent that you're exchanging information, but I can't share it on air. Guys, I'm so sorry, because Airbnb be lurking, so I can't tell y', all, but maybe I'll. I don't know. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna betray the scam, but here's one that we can't talk about. I'm gonna call this girl Kiki. So Kiki says, just to preface, I live in Florida. I was like, yeah, great.

[B]

Okay, There you go. You know, this is authentic.

[A]

Exactly. There's so many scams being run in Florida. I love it. So, backstory. When I was in high school, I wanted to get into marketing, so I took a free Photoshop class. Number one.

[B]

Come on now.

[A]

If you're scamming, you gotta use Photoshop. We've talked about this many times. If you guys haven't invested in Photoshop yet, I don't know what to tell you.

[B]

A free Photoshop class.

[A]

So that's a scam right there, right? Photoshop is expensive. So at the. This was at the local library. Shout out to the library.

[B]

Okay, that makes sense.

[A]

So during my senior year, my theater program director, because she was at a performing heart arts. Performing Arts High school made me head of PR and marketing.

[B]

What?

[A]

For the theater program. Okay, so I thought it would mostly just be designing posters and posting on social media, but I was also in charge of putting through purchase orders and reimbursement requests. Okay, here's my question. So this is a performance arts high school. Who is going to the performance arts high school and demanding a refund after a show? That is the pettiest shit I have ever heard. This is for the children.

[B]

They tap dancing on. Rent was off by a half beat. Okay, I can hear it. I can hear it.

[A]

Sir. We don't give refunds for that.

[B]

But I'm dissatisfied. What am I supposed to do?

[A]

This is children performing. You knew you were not gonna get satisfaction here.

[B]

It is a performing arts high school. You were trained in the fusion theater performers of the earth.

[A]

Okay, yeah, but it's only a handful of them that make it. And then we put their picture on the wall. The rest of them is trash.

[B]

Well, some of them need to give my money back.

[A]

Like, just let the kids have your money, bruh. This is crazy. So soon the teacher assisted or assisting me would point out simple mistakes that I would make. I was 16 at the time when creating these documentaries or these docs. Excuse me, not documentaries. So like, sometimes the date would be written wrong or the wrong name would be put in the form. And I learned that I could fix these mistakes by simply photoshopping the documents to the correct info. No big deal, right? Well, the teacher caught on to what I was doing and decided to take it further. Oh, shout out to a queen. Soon she would come and ask me to change dollar amounts on items and frequently asked me to change dates that weren't even wrong. I was young and naive and I just went along with it and didn't think anything of it. Then we get to performance week and I would also head up the box office.

[B]

Oh my.

[A]

So you did social media pr. Marketing also. Money handler.

[B]

Oh, this is not good.

[A]

So she would head up the box office because she knew how to work the computer and the ticketing system better than anyone. The same teacher would come in and say, if someone pays for cash for their ticket, just put it through as a teacher comp. Again, didn't think anything of it.

[B]

Oh, that's grind.

[A]

One day she came and put through like 20 comp tickets and printed them and said, sell the dang. And I heard her mumbling about the money she spent and how this is owed to her. I mean, honestly, teachers work too hard,

[B]

but you gotta steal from people's parents. Just coming to Watch them tap dance.

[A]

Now, technically, she ain't stealing from the parents. Cause the parents got to see the

[B]

tap dance show, but they paying the box office to see their nieces and nephews dance and sing.

[A]

That all happened, but.

[B]

So why don't you put that money back in the funds where it's supposed to go?

[A]

Listen, they got taxes for that, okay? They ain't gonna miss these little 20 comp tickets. She Putting in a lot of work. She deserves it. I do think she deserves it. So this is when the Kiki says that she started to catch on and mentioned it to a friend who was straight up. Like, oh, yeah, our theater teachers just be stealing money for years so everyone knows that this is happening. She said, I caught them and they straight up admitted it. I wasn't shocked about their actions. They shady people. However, I was shocked that they've gotten away with it for so long and continue to. Well, the reason is, come mid senior year, we needed recommendation letters from the university. And our theater teacher claimed that she had major pool with the top theater schools and that if we wanted our recommendations, we better keep our mouth shut.

[B]

This is collusion.

[A]

They all participated in this for real.

[B]

Everybody knew.

[A]

And now apparently her teacher is working at a prestigious theater company and probably ripping them off as well.

[B]

Damn. So she never got caught?

[A]

Nope. Not every scammer gets caught. A lot of people don't get caught.

[B]

I'm thinking if it get to the point where you got it, they got called, mm, mm.

[A]

But here's the thing. If you don't get greedy, you won't get caught. Like, you know what I mean? She was doing like 20 comps. I mean, she was probably raking enough revenue.

[B]

200 bucks a pop, right?

[A]

And that's it. Keep it small.

[B]

That's real.

[A]

And nobody will notice.

[B]

But that made her want to put on all kind of extra ass programming. She probably had two, three different.

[A]

Why do y' all have seven shows a semester?

[B]

Y' all doing a Hanukkah, a Kwanzaa,

[A]

and a Christmas show. Yeah. She said everybody gotta show up to all of them too, or you racist.

[B]

Doing the same songs on everyone.

[A]

It's the same song though. Like how they do Noelle, but Hanukkah style. That's not kosher at all. Y' all literally was singing Jesus Christ is king in kente. That's not. That's not Kwanzaa.

[B]

She was.

[A]

And why we had to pay more for the Kwanzaa show. She said the candles cost more. She said, yeah, it was hard to

[B]

find Them she grifted.

[A]

So B. P.S. she says, I wasn't quite innocent of the Photoshop scam myself. My friends would pay me to Photoshop their report cards to give to their parents. And then she was like, oh, it never actually affected their gpa, but, you know, it kept them out of trouble for a little while.

[B]

Weird math later, though, like how you got straight A's in a 2.2.

[A]

They say. They say you on academic probation. You got a 4.0, right? What's going on? They say you're not graduating. The people just took it too far. Yeah, but shout out to this Kiki. Shout out to you and these scams and shout out bigger. Shout out to your teacher because I love it. I love it.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

Photoshop is a great scam.

[B]

Photoshop.

[A]

And it's also very funny that she was ringing 20 teacher comps. Like, they give you 20 free tickets to every show. That is a lot of comps. If I ever went and performed at any show and was like, hey, yo, let me get 20 comps.

[B]

And it ain't 20 teachers is interested in going to. No, they not coming back to school after school. Over with.

[A]

She was like, look, my family's very supportive. They buy my Cutco knives. They are all on prepaid legal and they come to every Chris Mahana Kwanzaka that I put on.

[B]

Well, yeah, they paying a lot per month and it's all going to you.

[A]

Okay, I love it. Here's another one. We got a retired scam. I'll call this guy Matthew because I told you guys every mat's a scam.

[B]

Is that so?

[A]

Yes. Every, Every, every nigga named Matthew is a scam. So. So this was a good scam that I ran for like a solid month back in high school before people started to catch on. Me and my friends would get hella high and call the pizza place and order a large pizza or two. We give them a good five minutes to get get started and then we call back and cancel the order. Then we drive up to the pizza place and play up the poor hungry teen thing and ask if they had any canceled orders. We cycled through so many local pizza places and it worked so many times, we started doing it multiple times to the same pizza place. And eventually when we came in, they just started telling us no and turning us away. So I think eventually they caught on anyway, great while it lasted.

[B]

I don't know about a scam where you gotta pretend to be poor. I don't know about that.

[A]

I mean, that's most scams do, Is it? I thought. I thought, you know, there's some people who. I don't know if this is just a joke in a movie, but, like, panhandle professionally, huh? I know for a fact that my mom knows a professional panhandler that she would give money to every day. And his name was Moses. And then she saw Moses at the casino with just, like, fistfuls of cash.

[B]

Oh, that reminds me of a really good story from my personal life. So a couple years ago, I went and did this rap educational program in Uganda.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah. It was a joint venture between a group out here in Los Angeles that was a nonprofit that taught hip hop to kids. We were linking up with a nonprofit in Uganda that taught hip hop to kids. So we write up all this grant and fly out there to do the program. And we land and we meet the guy who runs the program out there. We give him the room and board money from the grant.

[A]

Oh, whatever. You gotta meet a man in person and give him money.

[B]

He took us to the house where the program was.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Also where we were staying. We realized the next day that there was no program anymore. Sometime in between, when we wrote the grant and we got off the aeroplane, the program ceased to exist.

[A]

You know what's crazy? That program actually gone.

[B]

It's gone. And then we didn't see that man we handed the money to ever again. Oh, no. We did see him one more time.

[A]

Oh, wait.

[B]

Cause we went to a rap show and in Kampala, Uganda. Okay. I had to. I was trying to drink at the rap show, so I had to change some dollars over the Ugandan pounds or whatever. And the only place to do that at that hour was at the casino. And guess who we saw in there

[A]

gambling away yo room and board.

[B]

I've never seen a man walk away so fast. I've never. Like, it was like cartoon. Like, he gathered his. Like, it was like a dust trail. It was incredible.

[A]

Wait, so was the place that you stayed in, was that free or did it require room and Borg?

[B]

Well, it required the money we gave him.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But he didn't give it to the people who run the house because it was supposed to be where we, you know, paying for us staying there and also food. And then they stopped feeding us at a certain point because he didn't give them the money.

[A]

Yeah, it feels crazy. Lauren Lapkins and I talked about this before. To give somebody, like, to arrive somewhere and then just give a person money.

[B]

Yeah. I only did that that one time in my Life. And I can't ever see that happening again.

[A]

Because we talked about a scam where people are going to Indonesia and giving a man on a moped money outside of the airport. We're like, what?

[B]

He's on a vehicle.

[A]

He is on a vehicle.

[B]

He's going to leave quickly, and you can't catch him.

[A]

You're not gonna be able to catch him. And also, like, why does he need the money now? I think, like, pulling up to that, I feel like I would be more comfort, like, comforted if I pulled up to the house and, like, gave somebody in the house money. He was just like, here. Was he at the airport?

[B]

He was at the airport.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

He seemed so kind. It was, like, very late.

[A]

He was about to get married.

[B]

I had no idea. That's. I thought he just wanted to make sure we made it safely.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Guys, don't give people money at the airport.

[B]

Don't ever do that.

[A]

Because that is. You should never pay anybody at the airport.

[B]

Well, and don't pay them all the money. Just pay them a little bit of the money at a time.

[A]

Yeah, you're not gonna get that little bit back.

[B]

Well, then, you know, if they don't get what I mean, then you're only out of a little bit.

[A]

Fair enough. Fair enough. Oh, man, that's crazy. I'm so sorry that that happened to you.

[B]

It was real bad.

[A]

Well, look, guys, speaking of rap scams, we're gonna get into historic hoodw after the break. Scams. All right, guys. And we are back. I'm so excited to have open mic Eagle here for this because he is a rapper and he knows this industry and he puts out amazing music. And our historic hoodwink today is about some men who are not as great rappers, or at least the world may never know. This is about Syllable and Brains, which is their name. It's spelled S I L I B I L L in trying to be cute. Apostrophe, brains.

[B]

Syllable and brains.

[A]

Syllable and brains.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's that? Is this supposed to stand for something?

[B]

No, he's just trying to spell syllable in a funky, dumb rap way.

[A]

Ooh. Okay, that's actually really hot right now. But I learned it's because, like, of googling, like, it's easier if you're bored.

[B]

SEO. But they've been doing that since forever. The rappers always put an extra S in something. Put a dollar sign in something, you know?

[A]

So look at this. These are the guys. These two dudes.

[B]

I don't like them based on how

[A]

they Look, I don't like them, okay? So just imagine like any frat boys. Imagine anybody in SAE and they're. And they're going to like a CEOs and corporate hoes party. Do you remember those? That's so problematic.

[B]

That sounds like something that's not okay.

[A]

I went to. I went to a CEO at corporate health party as a corporate ho. I know. Tragic.

[B]

How do you feel about this now?

[A]

I mean, look, it was before 2014. It was before we was woke, okay? I ain't know no better. I had a great time.

[B]

That's gonna be be my next podcast. Before was woke.

[A]

Before it was woke. See, that's the one that's gonna get everybody canceled.

[B]

Cut that part out. Cause I'm not gonna sell it to Earwolf.

[A]

So Syllable and Brains were going to be the biggest rap duo since Outkast. That is what Vice said.

[B]

They don't look like it.

[A]

Hey, I don't know. Google them guys. They were two kids from California who could spit with angsty nu metal. Flo.

[B]

That's not a flo. That's not a flow. Who wrote this?

[A]

You don't know about angsty new metal flow?

[B]

Come on, man. That sound like something falling out of microwave or something. That ain't no flow.

[A]

All middle fingers, messy rooms and cargo shorts. You know, the staple attire of hip hop artists, cargo shorts.

[B]

Every neighborhood I've ever grown up in, that's all you know.

[A]

I'm in my cargos. That's where I store my guns. So many pockets. That was my angsty new metal flow.

[B]

That was tight.

[A]

None of it rhymed. So after touring the world, they were spotted tearing it up in East London and signed to Sony with a $75,000 retainer.

[B]

Hey, see, this is making me upset already. This is making me upset.

[A]

Why is it making you upset?

[B]

Cause I never got signed to $75,000 for nothing. Okay. Cause I don't have the cargo shorts. Is that it?

[A]

You are not a white man with cargo shorts, man.

[B]

Come on, man.

[A]

Have you considered buying cargo shorts?

[B]

I may have bought a pair or two, but I never wore them to a rap audition of any kind.

[A]

You should. And put lots of guns in the pockets.

[B]

I'll see how many I can fit.

[A]

So they were a priority signing, meaning that the label thought that their first album was destined for number one. The only problem was is that Syllable and Brains weren't who they said they were. Billy Boyd and Gavin Bain.

[B]

Gavin. How dare you rap. Gavin.

[A]

Gavin, you know you need to be doing country. They had never been to California. They were two dudes from Dundee, Scotland, on benefits, in debt, and determined to hang out in the music industry. So they were bitter from an early brush with fame. After a 12 hour Megabus down to London for a label audition. They were laughed away as.

[B]

As Gavin and Bill.

[A]

They. They were laughed away, which is hilarious. Imagine doing an audition and then people just laugh uncontrollably.

[B]

I'm talking about you took a 12 hour bus ride too, and you have to get back on the bus after being laughed at.

[A]

No, you have to sit for 12 more hours.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And just think about it.

[B]

Listen, that's where they came up with the scam. This fueled the scam, right?

[A]

So they've been scorned in some way. And sometimes scammers have been scorned by the system. So they're like, fuck the system. I'm gonna find a way around it. You know what I mean? Just like our teach teacher earlier, like, teaching is hard work. It's thankless work. And you don't get paid what you should, and, you know, now you gotta start selling comps. So they also decided it's time for us to scam. And I love this. So they found a small town in the west coast and decided to tell the world that they met at a rap battle in San Francisco. They concocted lies, bought clothes, so I guess they let the cargoes go.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Perfected accents and became name syllable in brains. They kept up the accents and the embroidered lies for two years. Sony fawned over them. They partied with Madonna, went on pop world, and had AAA passes at the Brits. Do you know what that is?

[B]

The Brits? No.

[A]

I don't either. Can you look up what the Brits is?

[B]

Wait, that must be outside of my income bracket.

[A]

Sometimes I see rich.

[B]

It's the British.

[A]

Oh, it's okay. So it's a British awards. The more they played up their give a fuck jackass Personas, which. What does that mean?

[B]

It's nothing. It means the same thing as heavy metal, Mashed potato, new metal flow, whatever that was earlier.

[A]

Whoever wrote this article is scamming us. They are. I don't think they know anything about hip hop.

[B]

They getting paid by the word is what they doing, right?

[A]

Ooh, you write about that. So they were like, how can I get more words?

[B]

How many adjectives can I put on their cargo? Short.

[A]

I love it, y'. All. Scam. So they're give a jackass Personas. Don't know what that means. The more the executives lapped it up, and they got splashed with cash, and they invested their money on the two people who were essentially duping the recording industry. So my thing is, like, did they come out with any music? Brody, can you see if they have any music?

[B]

They must have at least had, like,

[A]

a sample or, like, mixtape.

[B]

You can't get paid, and you ain't never rapped at all. But they. They rapped where they came from, right? So, yeah, they had the ability to rap, so they probably did record some stuff, but probably never put it.

[A]

But if it wasn't like fire, then how come people didn't notice?

[B]

They got a couple songs on YouTube. They got one called Tongue Kung Fu. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Did you say Tongue Kung Fu?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's disgusting.

[A]

Please play Tongue Kung Fu just a little bit. We can't get sued by syllable. All right, hold on.

[B]

Wash everything after I heard. Hear this now.

[A]

You said I. You said I got the prepaid legal, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, we'll play a little bit.

[B]

You can afford 34 seconds.

[A]

Okay, great. See, that's why you got to get prepaid legal, guys. It's called Kung Fu Tongue.

[B]

That's disgusting. That's nasty.

[A]

I see you have mastered the style of no style. Yes. My status. Oh, my God.

[B]

That beat sound like something from, like, the Super Mario Brothers movie or something, right?

[A]

Tongue Kung Fu.

[B]

He said get. I'm getting out the way for sure. When the Tongue Kung Fu comes down

[A]

the hallway, I don't know if I want. I don't know if I want that tongue. It sounds like. Who. Who's that song? Or that band that sings that song. Like radio. Whoa.

[B]

Oh, is that Imagine Dragons? I think it's Imagine Dragons.

[A]

Maybe it sounds like them and then, like, old Eminem.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like. Yeah, like, they all had a baby and it was dis.

[B]

Yeah, like House of Pain was the uncle or something.

[A]

House of Pain?

[B]

Yeah. It's Imagine Dragons, unfortunately.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, they sound so horrible. Okay. But this was somehow convincing people that they were about to be the hottest next thing. So their acting and commitment was at times astonishing. From the moment that they woke up, they had to remain in character. So they had fake California accents, they lied to their manager, to their friends, and even the people that they dated.

[B]

Oh, that's good. I. I appreciate the Andy Kaufman esque level of commitment to the bit.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they couldn't give it up. Because if they gave up the bit and they started speaking like they were from Dundee people, and that's. That's a real harsh Accent.

[B]

Wild accent.

[A]

That's a wild accent change. So shout out to them for even. Like, they must be good musicians enough to hear well enough to purport an accent morning, noon and night. Imagine like you can't even have sex without taking your accent off.

[B]

Oh, that's terrible.

[A]

You gotta moan in American.

[B]

You can't even keep it up. If you trying to remember not to say something in your native tongue.

[A]

How do you. Yeah, so sex is probably just.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's just a twist. You're putting yourself in a twist.

[A]

Like, oh, I mean, oh,

[B]

this all they had to do, though. That's all they had to do. They just had to, on a second album, say we're changing to an Australian gimmick, and then they could speak regular for the rest of their lives.

[A]

But what kind of gimmick is that? Like, we just going to pretend. I guess Madonna did it.

[B]

She was like, exactly.

[A]

She was like, I'm so rich that now I'm British.

[B]

She's she been from all kind of places.

[A]

I can't wait to get rich enough that I. I'm just certainly British.

[B]

I think that does come with a certain level of income.

[A]

And no one calls it into the question. I just am British.

[B]

I'm starting to think you're making money as we speak.

[A]

I think I am. I think I am. And then I can really get some big deals because we know all the black Brits out here sweeping up all the big motion pictures.

[B]

I like everything.

[A]

They're like, look, I hate American Negro so much, but of course I will play Harriet Tubman.

[B]

Your role is so juicy.

[A]

You know, I'll play her black ass, though. That's fine. I'mma pretend to be British so that I can play American role.

[B]

I think you should. I support this game.

[A]

Like, she's so classy. Let's put her in this film. She'll be Foxy Brown. Like, what? So a big lie that they said was that they were friends with D12 from like back in the day. And D12, obviously their sound is a little.

[B]

And they're from Detroit. D12 isn't make any sense.

[A]

Well, they said they was friends with them and then they went to a show and they got in a rumble

[B]

and yeah, Proof probably knocked one of them out.

[A]

Well, Boyd had to walk over to Proof and give him a hug and ask him how he was doing.

[B]

Oh, no, that didn't go well.

[A]

Luckily, Proof was too polite to say anything and gave him a hug back. I don't. This is a dumb story, Proof. Well, eventually, the drugs, the booze, and all the lying caught up to them. They stopped talking to each other. They became depressed and paranoid. And one day, Billy got in a car and drove home to Dundee. It was over. Okay. He got in a car and drove.

[B]

Yeah, that doesn't. That doesn't make sense. You can't drive to where they're from.

[A]

They weren't in America at the time. Cause I'm like, what?

[B]

Yeah, that doesn't make sense at all, ma'.

[A]

Am.

[B]

Were they still in London then?

[A]

I guess so.

[B]

This is. This story. I don't like it. I just don't like it. I don't like how it's written. I don't like who it's about.

[A]

Right.

[B]

This is just making me upset so many times.

[A]

I'm so sorry. Well, after 10 years of barely talking. Sib. I know, right? Sibyl and Brains are back in the studio, and the Great Hip Hop Hoax is a documentary of their story that'll be out in theaters, of course.

[B]

Of course. Of course. And now they get a movie. They get a movie, right? Cause they lie real good. It wasn't enough that they. That they out here taking people's record deals. They taking people's record deals, now they get a movie.

[A]

Listen, every great scammer deserves a movie.

[B]

I guess so. Is that true?

[A]

Yeah, if you're a great scammer. Like, I want to see the theater

[B]

lady deserves a movie. The theater.

[A]

I don't think that she's reached out enough. She hasn't branched out enough. But if she starts branching out, it starts really scamming the whole school. Like, absolutely.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I want to see her get it. It's crazy that they did this for so long, then just quit out of nowhere. And that's the fun thing about an advance, though, right? Is like, do you have to pay that back?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Well.

[A]

But it's not paid back if you don't make anything. Right. You have to pay it back from your earnings.

[B]

Exactly. So it's not like a bank loan where it's, like, on your credit, but it's like, yeah, if you get paid in advance, you have to pay it back technically from your sales, but you can just take it and run away.

[A]

That's what they did.

[B]

But I do think it might. Well, no, if you get dropped, it's fine. Cause I think legally, you've agreed to turn in some body of music at

[A]

some point, and so they obviously got dropped. Well, one of them just drove back to Dundee, which is fine.

[B]

Go ahead, sir. California thank you for never coming again.

[A]

So they asked them, like, why did you decide to be these two rappers from California? And Billy says, we fell into these identities as a result of how we were feeling. We decided to either give up or do something crazy. This is crazy. I can't even do an Australian accent. All I can say is laser disc. Laser disc. We did Liza disc. Let me see how. Let me see how much I can work that into here. So then Gavin says, says the hip hop we'd been listening to was American laserdisc. So we were miming the accents when we were singing in the shower. See, I can't do anything with laserdisc. Or the Barbie. No, that was good. Yeah, the Bob. Yeah. Okay. We could rap in the accent naturally. But we began speaking it in that accent as well. We realized we couldn't just go down and rap in these California accents and then speak like two lads from Dundee laserdisc. People in the industry would think that that was ridiculous. So we got to a where it felt like it was all or nothing Liza disc. So he's basically saying we couldn't just do the California rap accent. But I was like, yeah, you can. Have you heard any British artists? Remember Craig Davis? Lying ass Craig David would be singing all these why were you cheating Riley last night? And then he'd go off and he'd be like, I'm Craig David.

[B]

He sound like a pirate. When he was done singing, he was trying to hold that together in the studio the whole time.

[A]

You got to let him, Greg, take the eyepatch off and sing like the American black. We told you to sing like. I mean, Adele does it too. Hello. You know, and then she start talking lightning like, British people do this all the time. You definitely didn't have to fake a Persona to everyone in your life, including your girlfriend.

[B]

Yeah, that was really weird. That was a bold choice, though. But I can't help but think, you know, you know, my mind goes. I can't have any sympathy for him because of the privilege angle.

[A]

Oh, yeah. This is supremely privileged.

[B]

I cannot ever, like, really, you know,

[A]

but, you know, they think they went through something cause they got booed and they wrote a bus.

[B]

Oh, you got booed and wrote a bus.

[A]

Oh, can you imagine how tragic that must be?

[B]

Well, yeah, I can. Cause I've been rejected from shit too. And never on any.

[A]

Yeah, but Mike, you're not white. Okay, I know.

[B]

I'm saying that's why I don't. I can't identify. Right.

[A]

This is a life changing moment. If I.

[B]

If I got angry enough to come up with a scam every time somebody told me no, I'd at least be as rich as the theater lady. At least. I.

[A]

Every seven trs. I. I feel like you do a great job at these scams. You already were on the verge of doing so many, so you might as

[B]

well always get cold feet.

[A]

I don't know why.

[B]

You know why. Cuz all these scams won't meet to purport this scam on other poll people. And I can't go through with it. I can't.

[A]

You gotta get some. Yeah, you're right. Cause these are also not scams that rich people would fall for.

[B]

They are not prepaid legal. Pish posh.

[A]

Pish posh. That's exactly what they would say to you. So they were asked in this article, advice. Were you surprised how quickly the industry opened up for you? And Billie says, we knew we had the skills, we had the writing ability, as we saw with tongue kung fu.

[B]

Oh, my God, I hate them so much.

[A]

We knew that if we were granted an audience, we could show them that we were good. We weren't prepared for people saying, oh, wow, this is really good because it's American. That's what made us carry on with the pretense. We wanted to get our own back to fuck the industry.

[B]

See, that's a lie, though. All of this is a lie.

[A]

Yeah, this sounds like lies. Yeah, I know lies when I hear that.

[B]

Like, they just. They just, you know, they was trying to lie, and then it just got to be too much. They wasn't. They were lying for personal. Why can't nobody ever just say I was lying for personal gain?

[A]

I don't know why. It's crazy, because our first episode, we talk about Anna Delvey, who's now getting her own TV show from Shonda Rhimes. And she says, on record, I am a bad person.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And I was just like, this is beautiful. Like, how freeing.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

So I wish that they weren't trying to act like. Yeah, so we did this to get back in our country. That's why we had came up with accents.

[B]

Yeah. It was a big social experiment to bring the man down.

[A]

Yeah. Where we pocketed thousands of dollars.

[B]

Right. We hung out with Madonna, had weird sex with our girlfriends where we couldn't

[A]

moan in our own accents, all because we wanted to take down society a little bit.

[B]

Didn't even work. Just admit it. You went crazy trying to act like Americans. Just saying,

[A]

gavin says how to make it and believe in your talent guy. These bullshit books sell absolute lies. So he's talking about, like, how he used to read books about how to believe in your talent and stuff. He said, how could I believe in my talent when you're from this area of Scotland? That's just gonna get laughed at. Also, Scotland is not in Australia. So my laser disc is completely irrelevant.

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

It's all right. We forgive you, but it's fine. That was my scam for you today. So basically he's talking about how some self help books are always saying, believe in your blah, blah, blah, but, like, they're from Scotland. And they were like, how are we ever gonna believe in our talent when we've never seen anybody in Scotland do this? And we were just getting laughed at at every turn.

[B]

Oh, you've never seen a successful white person, huh?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Do they not make those in Scotland?

[A]

I guess not.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

Like, what are you talking about? So he said, what you need to believe in, what we learned in such a sharp way and what we've exposed so massively is that you just need to believe in marketing. If you just want to get in and get signed, you don't need talent. You don't need anything but know how. But the film shows how far we went with these two characters. The scam was to con them in the terms of marketing. So basically what he's saying is like, you don't need to believe in your talent.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

How do you feel as a rapper that there's these men around here like, you don't need to have any talent?

[B]

Well, you know, I already knew that was true, but I don't need them to prove it for me, you know?

[A]

Are you sure this didn't inspire you?

[B]

No, no. I don't know what the opposite of inspire. This is depressing me is what it is. They're just bringing me down. They not bringing the man down. They bringing me down.

[A]

Oh, damn it.

[B]

Cause then they get to. Then they gonna have a movie, right? They getting paid again.

[A]

Oh, yeah. They're gonna just keep winning.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Off of this con you got. So they got signed to Jonathan Sholette, who signed N Dubs. I don't know who that is. Jamilia. I think I know who that is. And Charlotte Church, I know who that is. She's a gospel singer.

[B]

This is another scam.

[A]

Who went wayward. Charlotte Church, she went a little wayward, but she's great. I love her. So shall. Gavin says this of Jonathan Shallot. Shallot is a dick.

[B]

Now okay, this is what I want them to talk like, let me know what's really happening.

[A]

Bill, he said he's not a cool guy and he's probably never been cool in his whole life. But for that little time he was with us, he was cool. He made an effort to be down with the kids and came up with some things. But he was a good manager. He fought for us. He'd give Sony unbelievable abuse for us. But the biggest dick we met is the head of Sony bmg who had his finger on the end career button, I guess, for them and said we had to go into this final meeting. And he just put this show on. He called us unconvincing even though we had conned the entire industry.

[B]

Well, I'm glad somebody could smell bullshit in a 10 mile radius.

[A]

And also it's the most important person. Let's hope that the guy at the top has more sense than everybody else. It sounds like that guy wasn't a dick at all. Like y' all were the dicks, right?

[B]

Stop trying to scam everybody. You gotta stop at some point. Cause they got too greedy. Like you said, they broke the number one commandment. They got too greedy.

[A]

So they were asked what's like the stressing part of sustaining this group. I love that people are just like, oh, you lied. And that's so fascinating. So what was the most stressful part of you creating a fake life and lying to everybody else?

[B]

What is his little dumb ass answer?

[A]

So Billy says, we came down to London in debt and on the government's benefits.

[B]

Oh, Lord.

[A]

We suddenly had $75,000 in our bank. Bank accounts. We had a lot of incredible times out in London. But the stress of sustaining those characters did weigh on us. There was a lot of paranoia going on that followed us. We constantly felt like people were trying to catch us.

[B]

Well, I wonder why. Why would you feel like people are trying to catch you all the time? Oh, because you're lying about who you are every day to everyone you meet.

[A]

But some scammers relax into it, you know what I mean? Just ride the wave.

[B]

That seems like it would make more sense. Sense.

[A]

So it's not until they stepped back from it and realized that there would be no need for people to question where they're from. But we invented that stress. Constantly saying to each other, what if we get caught? What happens then? And then they said, gavin says, when we got the money. And we just thought it, let's hit it. We're at every event, every night blagging this and blagging that. What does blagging mean? That's got.

[B]

It's got to be for. It's got to be some sexual thing. Ew. I hope tongue kung fu.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we can't say that anymore.

[B]

Yeah, we shouldn't.

[A]

We got completely addicted to this lifestyle. We needed to be approachable, fun, wild guys. We needed everybody to like us. They were, like, 21 at the time.

[B]

You know what they deserved?

[A]

What?

[B]

One of them should have tried crack. And then that. Then the story would have ended how it's supposed to end, with one of them being addicted to crack.

[A]

Somebody should at least be addicted to meth.

[B]

Yeah, something. Something hard. Something that makes you claw your face.

[A]

You know what, though? Look, addictions are real, guys. We're obviously just joking. We wouldn't wish addictions on anyone.

[B]

I wish addiction on them.

[A]

I did not say that. I did not say that, But.

[B]

Tweet me, Bill.

[A]

But I will say that. This is. This is insane. Shout out to them, though. They got away with the scam. They're not going to do any jail time. And now they have a movie.

[B]

See, jail time. Okay?

[A]

They don't need prepaid legal.

[B]

Maybe. Maybe they'll get. Oh, yeah. Maybe they'll make money off the movie and one of them will try crack.

[A]

Stop trying to get them to do crack.

[B]

I'm not trying to get them to. I just want them to. I just want that to happen for them.

[A]

I don't know if it's going to.

[B]

I don't think so either.

[A]

All righty. We're gonna take a break. Robbery and fraud. All right, guys, we're back. And this is always the saddest part of the show. Cause this is. Have to let Mike go. Yes. How high was my voice there, men? Did you hate that? Tweet me. No, no, Please don't tweet me. Guys, so we're back. It's the end of the show, and of course, we just want to highlight one historic charlatan. We call this our scammer of the week. While we were on break, we actually looked up blagging. And blogging is like a British word for scamming. Guys, we just learned a new word for scamming. I don't like it, though. It doesn't sound good. British slang is just never very good.

[B]

It doesn't fall out of the mouth.

[A]

Your man's not hot. Like, it's not gonna say that to anyone.

[B]

Mans don't blog.

[A]

Yeah, Mans don't blog. We're blogging, and we're blogging. British people that skepta rap you guys got, oh boy. It's interesting.

[B]

It's active.

[A]

It's very active. It's like if I sing that, I gotta get my throat ready. I'd have whole massage. Woo. But this week's scammer of the week. I don't have this man's name, name, but he's from New Jersey and he is a king. He recently got sentenced to probation for staging a fake fall. And he had to pay about $600 to an insurance company for filing a fake lawsuit. When a video came out. I want to show you the video.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

Wait, wait. This is the video. Township where he worked as a contractor.

[B]

Is that the newsman last?

[A]

Yes. So what he did was, is he went to a public restaurant, he got a cup of ice out of the vending thing or like, you know, the ice machine. Then he casually tosses it to the side and then he lays down.

[B]

Did he, did he, did he like open eye, wink at the camera like, what did what you did?

[A]

He didn't even fall. Like in a slip and fall, you supposed to fall. Like he laid down next to the ice also. Like, this fresh ice you should have got like, they gonna come over here and see you, bro. The cubes is still hard. Like, there's nothing slippery here at all, sir. So this ice was just flung on the ground. Like, you couldn't get some water in there with it too. You could have let it melt for a second. Like he literally went and tossed it on the ground.

[B]

The desperate, the despo meter, the desperation.

[A]

I don't know how desperate he was though, because if he was really desperate, he should have fallen.

[B]

But he didn't think this through at all. No part of this was thought through. He didn't think to look up to see if there was a camera anywhere.

[A]

Also, like, if you're gonna do this, why not just put a bag of drippy water in your pants and then squeeze it when you're standing there getting your ice and then fall or like squeeze it as you walk up to get the ice.

[B]

Everybody gonna be mad if you look like you peed on yourself like that.

[A]

That's gonna go, oh, you're right. You gotta get some black pants.

[B]

No, no, no, no. Get some very light pants. I'm telling you, this is gonna help if people think you fell and you had an accident.

[A]

Oh, that's so embarrassing.

[B]

Nobody's ever gonna be mad at you for that.

[A]

And also, people aren't gonna wanna research that. They're not gonna smell Your pants to see if it's pee. Yeah. This is how you do a slip and fall.

[B]

This is how you do it.

[A]

Yeah. Or you look. I'm so tempted to do slip and falls all the time.

[B]

All the time.

[A]

It's how go faces think.

[B]

Just be walking around thinking, ooh, I can make ten grand right here. Bow. Like this is thinking like that.

[A]

I be thinking about it every day almost, because I go to so many establishments and they don't have this wet floor sign out, and the floor is wet. And that's why I need to just be getting my slip and slide records

[B]

on, Just go head over heels, get

[A]

my trick daddy on, and just slip and slide.

[B]

All you gotta do. I guess you just gotta learn how to fall, right?

[A]

Yeah. And I know how to fall from theater.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think maybe you should go for it. Except that you just said it on the podcast. Maybe that might be a reason not

[A]

Congregation, somebody out there get that slip and fall. Check the next time you see a puddle. Don't look at it. It's not a puddle. It's an opportunity.

[B]

Oh, I love that.

[A]

Okay. All right, guys, where can people where? Actually, we always ask, where do you want to be found?

[B]

Twitter. Because I always say everything there. So it's Ike Eagle on the Twitter machine. And then I say a bunch of secret on my Patreon so people can follow that too. Patreon.com Open Mike Eagle. Yes.

[A]

And, guys, as always, email us. We got so many fun emails with scams that are retired and scams that have been run on you at scam goddess pod gmail.com if you want to follow us on social media, it's Scam Goddess Pod on Twitter and on Instagram and always, guys, if you want to see me and what I'm up to, which is always a mess. D I V A L A C I Diva Lacey on Twitter and on Instagram. All right, congregation, keep blagging. Don't do that. It.