
Hide your makeup compact, 'cause Jillian Bell (Summer of 69, Kinda Pregnant) is here to help Laci give a primer on a group of criminals concealing concealer. Yup, we're talkin' cosmetics crime rings! Tune in to hear how Ulta, Sephora, and other makeup retailers have become hot targets for thieves looking to resell product. Plus, Jillian shares how she conned her high school prom limo driver. Stay schemin’! Be sure to check out Jillian’s directorial debut, Summer of 69, available May 9 on Hulu! Keep the scams coming and snitch on your shady friends by emailing us at ScamGoddessPod@gmail.com. CON-gregation, catch Laci's TV Show Scam Goddess, now on Freeform and Hulu! Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Jillian Bell: @jillianbell Research by Kathryn Doyle SOURCES https://www.yahoo.com/news/southern-california-woman-charged-police-235537939.html https://ktla.com/news/local-news/southern-california-woman-charged-in-350000-r...
Loading summary
A
Inspired by Judy Blume's groundbreaking 1975 novel Forever, watch the reimagined coming of age series about young love by Mara Bracha Kiel, the iconic creator of Girlfriends. The epic love story follows two black teens, Keisha and Justin, as they explore romance and their identities through the awkward journey of being each other's firsts. Watch forever. Premiering May 8th only on Netflix.
B
Y'all know when your hair kind of gets like, greasy and and you need to wash it, but you don't have time to wash it? Enter Batiste Light. Batiste Light blends in seamlessly with your hair, leaving none of that white residue. And your hair looks clean and it feels clean. Okay. I like Batiste Light because whenever my hair is feeling like, greasy or oily, you know, when I've wrapped it too many times or whatever, I can put that in my hair and it kind of wakes it back up, you know what I mean? Without it looking white or powdery or, you know, like I just put a bunch of baby powder in my hair or something, you know what I mean? Buy Petite Light dry shampoo online or in store at your nearest retailer. Scams C Robbery and fraud. Scam car robbery and fraud. What's poppin, congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, back with another installment of the podcast all about robbery, fraud and those who practice it. Also, it's a comedy podcast. I'm gonna keep putting that disclaimer in there for the new listeners. Girl, we ain't doing Dateline over here. Alrighty. Today y'all already know. Congregation, put your Martin Luther King fans on the popsicle sticks. Put em in the air. Wave em around. Yes, that's right. I'm very excited. I'm elated. I'm thrilled for today's guest. She is amazing. She's a come an actor, an Emmy nominated writer and director. Okay, movie director queen. We'd love to see more of them. She broke out as a writer on the 35th season of Saturday Night Live. Yes, that's Saturday Night Live. You may have seen her in the Sundance hit Britney Runs a Marathon. I did. That movie was cute. Or in Godmother. 22 Jump Street, Candy Cane Lane. And most recently, kinda Pregnant on Netflix. She played Gillian Belk on the long running television series Workaholics. And now we get to stand. Keep those fans in the air. Her directional debut with Summer of 69, releasing on Hulu May 9th. I love that. 69 on May 9th, y'all get into a congregation, please welcome Jillian Bell to the Show. Hi, Jillian. Woo.
A
That was like. I was like, in church. I was like. That was like. That was beautiful.
B
Yes. Amen. A scam.
A
Yes, a scam.
B
A scam. Oh, my goodness. How are you?
A
I'm so excited to be here with you. Yes. I mean, you're just a blast. I'm ready. I'm ready to be scammed or talk scams. I'm in.
B
Yes. Okay. I love that you say that because, you know, my first question is going to be, what is your relationship with scams? Do you love them? Do you hate them? Have you ever been scammed? Know anybody?
A
I. I listen. I enjoy a scam. I enjoy a scam documentary. I enjoy, but I don't enjoy when it happens to my loved ones, to the elderly.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
I find. And. And as someone who's recently turned 40 is about to be 41, I find that I'm getting scammed more and more. A lot of those emails where they say, oh, click on this because your bank will explode if not. And I look, and then I, you know, thank God I know to look. But I'll look at the email address, and it won't say, you know, Wells Fargo.
B
No, it's gonna say hat mail. Yeah, it'll say.
A
It'll say, Billy loves Zanes, you know, And I'm like, why is Billy Zane doing this? But I just am fascinated by scams. And I will say I might have participated in a little one.
B
Allegedly.
A
Allegedly. It didn't hurt anyone, but that's what we like. When I was 17, I was. I went to prom. I'm from Las Vegas.
B
Wow.
A
Yeah.
B
So that's. That's like kind of like the city of scams.
A
Yeah, it's like the epicenter of scams. And so we were going to prom, and our proms are very different. In Las Vegas, you go to some kind of a show, like, you'll see Seek freed, and then go to your prom for 20 minutes to take pictures. And then you go to a hotel room. If you can gather enough people to pay for one hotel room at the box office.
B
That sounds like the cool people prom. Like, you were cool, Jillian. I can tell you were cool. You were that girl. That's what it is.
A
I don't know if I was cool.
B
But I'm getting that energy off of you. It's very much giving, like, oh, Jillian's okay. Jillian. Yeah, yeah. You were walking like you. I feel like you had a group of friends in the hallway, and it was like a bird formation, and you were at the middle of the V.
A
You're making me mean. Girls I love.
B
No, not mean. I'm just saying that, like, wherever you walk, they would just flock in line like birds migrating. That's what you're giving me. Cause I don't think everybody in Vegas was having the type of problem you had. You know what we would do? We would go see a little show. Go see, you know, secret and freak fighting them, boxing them tigers and whatnot. Then we would just go to the little event just to bless them with our presents, get a little photo off for our mom and them. Then we would go to our private party. This is giving Gossip Girl.
A
Ooh.
B
Okay. Blake or Robin. All right, continue. So y'all would do all of this?
A
Okay, so we would do all of this. Well, this night in particular, we did not get a hotel room. So it was sort of one of those things where we had the limo. We had to be back by a certain time. We were on the Strip, cruising up and down the Strip. Nobody wanted to go home. And one of the girls that was in our group was named Whitney Heinrich. And Whitney's mother had been the one who paid for the limousine. It was under her name. Well, we had asked the limo driver if, you know, we're like, can we just. Can we just keep going up and down the Strip just a couple more times? We're young, we're free, we're alive, we're carefree. And he was like, nah, sorry. Gotta get you home. It's done. It's done. That's a wrap.
B
He's like, I gotta bachelorette party in 30 minutes.
A
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Onto the next. And so we rolled up the window, and I said, I think I have a plan.
B
Like, the partition.
A
Yeah, partition.
B
Roll up the partition, please.
A
I said, roll up the partition. We were very coy. And we did. And I grabbed my phone, and I had the limo driver's number because he gave it to us in case. It's like, oh, if we get lost or something in between the prom. You know, he's just outside in the parking lot. I don't know why I had to have the number, but it was important for this moment. I called his cell phone number, and I pretended to be Whitney Heinrich's mother.
B
Okay, now, was Whitney in on it?
A
Whitney was like, let's do it.
B
Okay. Yes. We love a co conspirator. Yes.
A
Yeah. She's like, I'm in. We're all in. But, I mean, obviously, it had to be suspicious to him that we raised the partition, and then we're completely silent, like, you know, going from being very rowdy to totally, you know, in the zone of this acting moment. So I called him up and I said, I think his name was, you know, Frank. It was Frank.
B
It's always a Frank.
A
It's always Frank the limo driver.
B
Yeah.
A
And I said, frank. Is this Frank? And he goes, yes. And I go, it's Barbara Heinrich. How are you? And he goes, I'm good. I'm with the kids now. We're about to be heading back. And I go, you know what, Frank? I'm thinking maybe a little bit longer. I'm thinking maybe a little bit longer. They get to go out and enjoy their lives a bit. Frank, do you remember your promise?
B
Oh, my goodness. That's. You were in the lore.
A
I was in it. And he's like, oh, yes. It was, you know, great night. And I was like, well, you know what? I want to give these kids the night of their lives.
B
Oh.
A
I'm thinking we stay out just a little bit more, you know, make some turns, make some U turns, hit up the strip, go up and down. See the fountain at the Bellagio? And he said, okay, you're the boss. And hung up. And then we all started laughing so hard that there's no way Frank didn't know that it was me who did it. But he still went along with it. And we got to stay out for, like, another hour just driving up and down that strip. And to this day, I will say that's the only scam I've been a part of. But I feel like it's naughty, and I feel like it's. I'm just proud of myself. I'm proud of myself for doing it, because we had the night of our lives.
B
Did you know you were gonna be an actress then?
A
I.
B
Cause it's giving acting. You even gave me kind of like an affectation like, Barbara might be from somewhere else. I'm like, your prom?
A
Yeah. I'm like, listen, it's Barbara Heinrich. You know, it's Barbara.
B
Oh, yes, Barbara.
A
When you're hearing all the A's, you know you're going somewhere with it. Yeah. I knew, like, a pretty young age that I wanted to act. I was constantly putting on little plays for my family and saying, look at me. Look at me while I was in the pool doing a handstand. So I knew there was something in there, and I had, like, a box of costumes. So it was like, I feel like, okay, yeah.
B
So you were getting prepared.
A
Yeah, I knew.
B
Absolutely. I knew, and I Would say here that Frank wasn't the one who was scammed. I wanna say it was Barbara Heinrich.
A
Yes.
B
Because Frank was like, y'all little minors ain't gonna tell me to keep spending the block. Cause I'm not gonna get that check. But now I have the phone receipt of Ba Ba Brah Heinrich. And so I'm gonna add an extra hour to this limo fee. I was about to start put for the bachelorette, but they drunk. They can wait an hour. So, you know, he's probably just like. Well, I had to have confirmation now to send the big to Jimmy, who probably runs the limo service.
A
Oh, you know, Jimmy's on top of Frank.
B
That's his older cousin. And, you know, Frank had been fucking up a lot in life. And so he was like, all right, your sister said, I gotta give you a job, Frank. Just drive people around. Don't get in no trouble, Frank. And so now he got a phone call to be like, jimmy, Jimmy. I swear to God. They could Barber recalled, and they said another hour. Charge him. Charge him. Yeah.
A
I've never once thought about if Barbara Heinrich had to pay an extra hour for that limo.
B
She's fine.
A
She 100% did.
B
Mm.
A
Oh, gosh, I feel terrible about it.
B
Oh, no, she's fine. Having kids in Vegas and then they're going to the strip at the prom. And, like, y'all didn't come home with no sob story. That means that she was happy. Her babies came back alive, you know, unfettered. And they had a good time just driving around in the car. That's so wholesome. Y'all just wanted to drive around in the car. It was like. Y'all were like, hey, Frank, can you get us schnapps?
A
Yeah. No, we did nothing. We were just like, please roam up and down this one road again, Frank. Like, that was the highlight of our night, was just getting to see the lights of Vegas, which we lived in for our entire existence.
B
But it's like, y'all were young, though, so it's like, you're not necessarily on the Strip like that. You know what I mean?
A
No, no, we're just driving. All you can do is drive and yell at the people who are handing out porn pamphlets.
B
See, man, I miss, like, that time in the youth, and I'm, like, on the edge of that, where we, like. We, like. You did headphones. But we weren't, like, trying to make content constantly.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
You know what I mean? So, like, driving up and down the Strip would have been so fun. Just talking to Each other playing jokes and talking about the ear. Whatever. That's fun, you know, camaraderie. Versus now the girls gotta get on here with their prom dresses. They look like they going to the Met. And the theme is naked. And. Well, but it is.
A
It's so true. Like, our. I mean, I remember the, like, risque dress of the time. It was the tube top with the puffy little dress. Like, it's very 10 Things I Hate about you. And now it's like, does this cover my nipples?
B
One wrong move. One wrong move.
A
Yeah, you. You.
B
Honestly, it's like a dress, like, where it's got, like a snake kind of pattern on it. That is the fabric. And then everything else is sheer. And then the fabric only waves, like, the nips. And then it waves back around the cooch in the little of the booty crack. They're like fashion. And I'm like, look, the rattle shaming to the children. Y'all live y'all life. I just. I just don't understand.
A
I also don't understand how everyone's wearing the bathing suits nowadays, where there's just a thin. I'd like to call it a thin red line. It's like just. Just. How is everything not falling out? Or am I different?
B
Oh, that's not a bathing suit for activity. Oh, no, I have one of those. You do? It's for standing. You don't get it. You don't start doing strokes in that. Oh, no, no, no.
A
Okay.
B
No, no, no, no, no, no. That's like you stand in it. You on the yacht, you do the pose. One foot up. I'll show y'all one of mine. And you know, and then that's it. And then you don't put a foot.
A
Up with that on.
B
Oh, no. I mean, like, you put, like. You get on your tiptoe.
A
Got it.
B
To get that leg real mean. Like, you know, muscular, you know, sinewy look. Yes. And then that's it. Like, for so long. I would have my 4th of July birthday parties. And I always try to make sure it's, like, in the hills or somewhere so we can see the fireworks. Cause I was born on the fourth of July.
A
Oh, my gosh. You're a little firework. You always have been.
B
I'm a little firecracker.
A
Take that, Katy Perry.
B
I know I had it first, girl. Okay, you stay in space. Only reason we need Katie to come down from space is. Cause my queen, Gayle King, was up there, and I was like, we gotta bring Gayle down. Okay? Gayle's gotta come back from space.
A
But have you heard my Gayle King song yet?
B
No. Okay.
A
It's very quick. Can I sing it?
B
Yes. She's gonna love this.
A
Okay, Wait. Do you think that Oprah was relieved when she saw that Gayle King was safe? That's the whole song.
B
That was beautiful.
A
Thank you. I posted it in my stories the other day, and then someone I know put backing, like, music behind it.
B
I was inspired. Immediately I started snapping. I was like, I know, right?
A
There's a grid to it. I think my album's coming out soon.
B
You gotta drop it.
A
I do.
B
The girls need it.
A
I do.
B
Yeah. But I would pose by pools for a long time. It was a running joke that Lacey always takes pictures next to pools but doesn't get into them. So that's the string bikini you're talking about, is definitely the pose next to pool. Yeah. We gotta get some music to this Rich. Rich, though. We gotta get us some beats and some auto tune in here.
A
Do you think that Oprah was released when she saw that Gayle King was safe?
B
We have a hit with your Gayle King.
A
Thank you. I can't tell. I think it should just be called Gayle King.
B
Yeah.
A
I mean, there's a hit. There's, you know, a wink to Oprah. But I really think it's Gayle's moment.
B
It is Gayle's moment, Gail. We have her moments. I love Gayle King.
A
Well, also, speaking of Gayle King, she seemed like she was like, never again. Like, she. She. She did not feel it. It didn't seem. When she came off.
B
No, no, no, no, no. I was proud of her because, you know, that's not typically African American activity. And she took one for the whole team. Space.
A
Just in general. Space.
B
Yeah. Nah. And I'm not saying, like, in, like, you know, obviously, you have the hidden figures. You have all these people who contributed to the aerospace program. I'm more so saying, like, I don't meet many black people who are like, yeah, I would love to go to space. It's like, no, we see what they did to us on Earth. I don't want to know what they doing to us up there. Like, no, you're not going to trick me. Okay.
A
Trick me right now.
B
But yes. So I. I like your scam. I think it's cute. I think Barbara was very overjoyed to pay for that extra little, you know, fun for y'all. Cause y'all were being safe and being good kids.
A
What if she sends me a bill? What if she sends me a bill.
B
Sends you a bill.
A
Right goddamn now I just get a bill in the mail from Barbara. And by the way, it is Barbara Heinrich. I made her Barbara. So that is like. Yeah.
B
So, you know, that's a different person. That was Barbara Rub. Not Barbara. We talking about Barbara Rub.
A
Yeah. So how can she really ever get billed?
B
Now? She might come after you. I mean, the Emmys know who you are. You know, you roll fest. And she know you got some checks over here. Okay? And we got this new summer of 69 coming out on Hulu. She might see that on Hulu on May 9 and be like, there she is.
A
I got her.
B
I got her.
A
Now there's just gonna be a cage that falls down on me like an old timey cartoon cage. Scout. Inspired by Judy Blume's groundbreaking 1975 novel Forever, watch the reimagined coming of age series about young love by Mara Brock Akil, the iconic creator of Girlfriends. The epic love story follows two black teens, Keisha and Justin, as they explore romance and their identities through the awkward journey of being each other's firsts. Watch forever. Premiering May 8th only on Netflix.
B
Mmm. The temperatures are climbing, y'all. And when the temperatures climb, it's easy to fall into the same old routine. Familiar tanks worn in shorts. Y'all know quints are my girlies. I literally wear them all the time and get so many compliments. And I know y'all girlies love to go to the discount, discount, discount, discount places to get your replicas. But don't you want something that's gonna survive a wash? Don't you want something that is going to be quality? That's why I love quince. Everything with quince is priced 50 to 80% less what you would find at similar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middleman, we know the middleman is a scam. Quince gives you luxury without the markup. I've recently been wearing my, like long linen quince dresses. I have one in olive green that I always get compliments about. Treat your closet to a little summer glow up with quince. Go to quince.com goddess for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com goddess gu so let's get into our episode. Today we're gonna move into our historic hoodwinks. This is where I will regale Jillian with a famous con Caper group of criminals. We don't know yet. Maybe we love them, maybe we hate them. Okay, I don't know yet. I can't wait. But today we're gonna be talking about Blanca Escobar. Now, Blanca Escobar has been charged with stealing more than $350,000 worth of makeup from other stores and opening her own makeup stores across from MacArthur park in Los Angeles.
A
Well, she's got so much makeup, she's gotta do something with it. You can't fault a woman for working.
B
And, I mean, with the last name Escobar, you gotta be moving weight in some way. Like, that's just like, you know, I mean, that's just the vibe.
A
Yeah.
B
So she wasn't moving, like, kilos of cocaine. It was like, you know, I got kilos of pressed powder. I got kilos of fenty bomb lip gloss. You know what? I. I hope she measured it all in kilos.
A
She's got bombs. Not bombs. You know what I mean? I also picture her with a very large tilted hat.
B
Ooh, yes. And that face. Gotta be beat. Yeah. If makeup theft is your passion, I need to see the TikTok tutorial. Like, how are you doing it?
A
I feel like that face also doesn't move.
B
No, no, no, no, no.
A
I feel like this is her crying.
B
Rich.
A
Why?
B
Rich, over here doing the face.
A
This is her at a surprise party.
B
Oh, my gosh. Who died?
A
Everyone.
B
Oh, we gotta do that face. We have to do that face for the photo. But it was beautiful. But. So she basically started up this brick and mortar with all of these stolen goods, and she's a part of a new class of cosmetic entrepreneurs who give new meaning to the phrase, bitch stole my look.
A
Oh, my God. So. So. So she set up this store.
B
Yes. After she had been stealing more than $350,000 worth of makeup from other stores. She basically was sourcing her supply from other suppliers. If we want to put this into scam business terms.
A
And how long did this go for?
B
Um, well, we'll see here.
A
Okay.
B
But we do know that on March 5th, LAPD officers executed a search warrant at 65 year old. Oh, she was 65. Come on, Blanca.
A
I knew she was 65. I pictured that face not moving.
B
And also, like, 65 tells me that you're old enough that, you know, if you're gonna start your theft makeup business, you're not gonna be telling everybody that your suppliers give you the five finger discount. Like, I feel like you keep that on the low, because these days, I see so many scammers get caught up. Cause they instantly have to get on TikTok and tell everybody how they did it.
A
She's never even heard of TikTok. TikTok to her is the sound of the grandfather clock in her living room.
B
Exactly.
A
That's it. That's all she knows.
B
And that's class. That's pure class all the way. So 65 year old Blanca Escobar's business on 6th street across from MacArthur park in Westlake neighborhood of Los Angeles. Right. So I always heard things about that park. Isn't that the park where like the crimes would happen?
A
I like the crimes would happen. Yeah. Don't go there because there's a pond, there's ducks, but there's also crimes, plural.
B
Unless you're looking for crimes. And then. Okay, there's. Okay, but I feel like crimes next to a pond is wild. Maybe it used to be where crimes happen. Cause I feel like I watched an episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air where they were like, we meeting up in MacArthur Pond and then that was.
A
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
And they was definitely about to do crimes.
A
Well, there was also. Is that the band or the song? There's a band in the song. Yeah. And I think, I mean, is this the one that has the swans that you can paddle at?
B
Go park.
A
Okay. Okay. Cause how fun would it be to do some kind of a deal where.
B
We paddle up next to each other?
A
Yeah.
B
Like you got the stuff.
A
Yeah, yeah. And it's like, meet me at the 4th Swan at 4pm I'll be the.
B
One in the hoodie paddling very quickly. Yes. I mean, that's why I wanna do a drug deal with ambiance. Okay. No alleys, nothing shady. And I'm pretty sure that's probably where it happens.
A
Yeah, that would be really cool. You think? Echo Park.
B
Yeah. I remember when weed wasn't legal in New York and they would have. I had a weed carrier system or courier system and they started to get more and more professional as a crime syndicate. And so, you know, you would hit em up and they would have a courier on a backpack come bring you the weed. Ooh, yeah. To your home. Which was like. It was weed doordash and it was so lovely. And I remember one pride. I was trying to get the weed for everybody and they were so busy and backed up, they didn't get to me. And I was like, I have been a longtime customer. Like, why am I becoming like a Karen with a weed man? The one place you would think you don't really have Any say. And I was like, I have been a longtime customer to this weed crime syndicate and I am deeply disappointed that on this holiday we were not able to get our Reavers. And they were like, we are so sorry. We're offering you a discount code. And it wasn't like a code, but they were just like half off your next wee. And I was like, oh, this is so.
A
What a different world than what our parents grew up with. And like, we have like pot mates now.
B
That's.
A
That's our version of we do.
B
Like, there's like, ease. Like, they'll come to your house and deliver your weed. Yeah, that's in la. Do weed with ease. They even text me like, hey, girl, you haven't got no weed in a while. Would you like a code 20 off if you refer your friend to weed? Yeah.
A
I just went to a CBD store the other day for. From. Straight from my vet's office. They were like, your dogs are gonna need some of that thc. And I was like, okay, all right, well, here we go. But like, it is. It's so common now. It's just like, okay, you just walk in the store, get what you need.
B
And that's how it should be. It's less harmful than alcohol. I'm not a huge weed person, but it's like whenever I'm throwing a party or something, there'll be like a weed bar or something because I know people enjoy their reefers. That's classy. Yeah. You're not trying to keep it classy for the non drinking girlies.
A
I went to one party where they had like a almost. I don't want to say a drug station because that makes it sound like there was like cocaine and heroin. It was like edibles, mushrooms, stuff like that. And I just kept going up to the two men that were working it and going, what if I was a cop? And they were like, we're not giving you any of this. And I was like, I'm just curious how your business is run because, you know, I could be a cop. What if I have my badge right in my pocket?
B
I feel like you don't give cop vibes. Jillian, I'm so sorry. And especially if you're like, I could be a cop. It was like, so goobery. I. I'm here to take you down. I'm from the D E and the.
A
A. I don't think cops ever say cop. Cop. Yeah, it's never, Listen, I could be a cop, but I won't cop to it.
B
Cute.
A
Thank you.
B
We love it. So back to Ms. Escobar.
A
Oh, yes.
B
So she's got her business in MacArthur Park. Officers, when they ran up on her business, recovered an estimated $360,000 in stolen merchandise, primarily cosmetic clothes, toiletries, beauty and healthcare products, skincare items, sneakers, clothing, tumblers and accessories.
A
Sneakers really threw me. I'm not gonna lie.
B
Here, this is what we're looking at. Look at this. This is her storeroom.
A
Oh, shit.
B
This is the back room.
A
It's messy as hell, but she's organized, though.
B
Cause I see the fenty in one container. I saw some lotions in another. Okay, she's got some of those cups.
A
She's got. Just a cup.
B
Just a cup. See, that's when you know you a thief. Thief. And you were just like, you know what? Why not? That was something Will.
A
Like this. Yes, it's.
B
And that's that TikTok. You know, the one I love. I do love watching those videos. That's definitely fenty right there. I can recognize a lot of these products and put them in a price point. Each of those lip glosses will probably go for around 14, $15. And then if you look up here, like, we got all the lashes. I think those are those press on nails I'm looking at right now.
A
Oh, I love a press on nail.
B
Yeah, I do see eyelashes in there. We do got some Ardells in there for sure. She's got concealers.
A
Way more than 350 grand.
B
These are. Remember police? Police made this estimate?
A
Yeah, yeah, the cops.
B
Yes, the cops. Seriously good at math.
A
The cops aren't wearing these products. They.
B
So they just looked at this women and know things about their products? No, they know.
A
They're like, yeah, we got a bunch of stuff that's in pink boxes.
B
Yeah, the pink stuff. Looks like we'll go for a lot, Jimmy, you know bitches love pink. All right, let's estimate that at $6,000. Okay, what about these tiny tubes? Well, they're smaller, so let's charge less. It's probably a tiny tube of hyaluronic acids in there. And they're like, oh, yeah, these are probably like $2 a pop because look how small they. I feel like this was assessed by size and not by product.
A
Yeah, there's really.
B
Hyaluronic acid. Can run you 30 a bottle.
A
There's really nice stuff in there. I don't see any, like, goop, you know what I mean?
B
But I mean. Well, I know Gwyneth would love if there was some goop up in there, because goop is going under.
A
What? Wait, that is the most shocking thing I've been told today. What are you talking about?
B
GOOP getting that.
A
Wait, wait, their products or like the whole brand?
B
Like, the brand is like. Like they're shifting their brand strategy, but the products themselves, because of the market that we're in right now, people don't have that kind of, you know, lay around cash or, you know, extra income to afford, like, ridiculously exorbitant. Exorbitant expensive products. Yeah, yeah. So go like. And like, look. So Gwyneth Paltrow's business empire nearing its end. Question mark. Goop ends 2024 with lawsuits and layoffs.
A
Honey, I feel like ever since the ski accident, things have just been going downhill.
B
Yeah, Well, I think. I think we're about to see Gwyneth back on our screens because she did the very actressy thing of, like, having a whole spread and Vanity Fair, but, like, not promoting anything but just being a Babbage. And so typically, that's like, I'm back.
A
I do like it when people are doing that and they have nothing to promote and they're like, what's new? And she's like, I am eating the middle part of the broccoli stem.
B
Like, like, literally, like.
A
That is the new news.
B
The products on some sites are going as low as, like, 60% off.
A
What I need to get on this, I use the face wash and the oils.
B
Some site that starts with an M that has her products on it, but I know there's 60. Moop. Get your goop and moop. They're 60% off now because people aren't buying these luxury brands anymore because, you know, income is scarce and so you don't have it to throw away.
A
On Diamond Face, people can't spend $800 on Vitner's daughter oil. I mean, it's like, it's so expensive, all of this. I'm still going to CVS and buying some moisturizer, so I don't know.
B
That's becoming popular now is like, there's girls on TikTok who are doing the dupes of the really, really expensive stuff. And what kind of holds up and. And right.
A
There's a reason it's been around forever and ever.
B
Yeah, we got some recessionomics happening here. But she got the tumbler, she got the skincare, she got all of that. All the stuff that she had. The police fat. This was coming from retailers and, like, look at that. I know those brands. Does that cedar film. All of this stuff came from places like cvs Target, Walgreens, Kroger, Ross, TJ Maxx, and Macy's. Cops also discovered illegal slot machines at the business. Okay, so she was really diversifying. Well, she said make it an all day affair.
A
As someone from Las Vegas, I didn't know that CVS's and grocery stores and everything didn't have slot machines. Because they do. There's.
B
Wow. Yes.
A
So I thought that was completely normal. So maybe this woman is from Vegas. Or not from Vegas.
B
She might be your kin, Jillian. She might be your kin. Because you're right. I hadn't heard about no slot machine being around anywhere else but Vegas. They had them in the airport everywhere. Vegas is like. You are not leaving with your money, girl.
A
Put it in.
B
Put it in.
A
Throw in a quarter.
B
Oh, your flight got delayed. Guess what? Go ahead and pull this lever, bitch. You're not leaving with a single coin.
A
You just lost your kid's college tuition.
B
Right. The worst thing is I gotta go back to the aria. Cause I got $100 chips that I found in my purse. What? Mm. I forgot to cash it. Oh. I'm very good at craps.
A
You are?
B
Yes, yes. I at least walk with, like, 5K. Like, and I'll start with $200.
A
Oh, my gosh. I'm very good at craps. But the other kind.
B
Hey, just joking. I help. Health is wealth.
A
Health as well.
B
Health is wealth.
A
Goop.
B
So. So Blanca had been charged with eight felony counts of receiving stolen property over the $950 value mark and one misdemeanor count of conducting gaming. So the gaming is the least of their worries. They're like you, robbing all. Now, I will say that what Blanca does is not new. I'm not gonna rat out the street that these are on. But there are definitely some streets in Los Angeles that if you go into the store. Cause sometimes I'll be looking for a faja. And if you're a girl who knows, you know, sometimes you gotta get into that dress on that carpet and you need a little faha. You know what a faja is?
A
No, what is that?
B
The best corset ever. So you have to be wearing. The material has to be a little thicker in whatever you're wearing underneath. Yes, but typically people go buy them after BBL surgeries, which is a Brazilian butt lift. That's where they take the fat from your body and they put it in your booty and they suck it out your stomach and stuff. But I just like it for underneath. Dress at a nice event where I need to be just Nasty snatch.
A
Is it one of those where it just clips on each, like, so first.
B
You put it on and then you hook it in. Then you clip it in. It hooks like a corset in front, and then you zip the zipper up and then it just pulls everything. All your organs just mash together.
A
Yeah. And they're all having a party.
B
They're all having a party in there. And your body's having a party on the. The outside. So skinty.
A
Is the event ever worth it?
B
Yes. The photos are the photos, the photos, the photos. And you get used to not breathing. Breathing is really overrated. Really. People talking about oxygen and the carbon monoxide. You don't really need to do as much as you think. So it's worth it. It's worth it for the oohs and the ahs and the gags. So Bianca's not the first one to do this? No, no, she's the first one that the LA and the PD have pulled up to. So the LAPD had to rent a U haul to carry away all the stolen goods. The district attorney says the details of the crime indicated planning, sophistication and professionalism. What a compliment from the cops. Yeah, I mean, this is the U haul right here.
A
Way to go, cops. I will say, I don't feel like every. Anyone gets arrested and gets a little pat on the back as well.
B
Right. But you know what this is? I don't even think this is the cops patting her on the back. They're patting themselves on the back. It's like, we caught her. She had sophistication and elegance, you know, like they're trying to big themselves up. Like they just did like a Ocean's Eleven or something. They were like, this was a steak situation and we had to drive a toy car with a. With a camera.
A
Yeah, they're making it sound like they're picking up, like, diamonds.
B
Exactly.
A
And like, are y'all really about to.
B
Put all these highlighters and contours on the police table like they're cocaina and be like, this was our bus today. Like, really? Because, you know, they love to do. They love to stand in front of a table with drugs and, like, a little bit of money, because, you know, they be stealing the money, so. But they leave enough to put on the table to be like, look at this.
A
There's gotta be a file. Right. That's just for cops taking pictures with what they've collected.
B
If there's not, we need to make one. Now. This is my. Now I want to.
A
That's An Instagram account. I would. I would follow.
B
Yeah, I got to pull one up because some of them are very goofy.
A
Like, like just being, like, kind of silly. You know what I mean?
B
They're never silly. They're so serious. That's what makes it fun because I love to laugh at the police. And so it was. It's very funny to look at. There was one where they had. We did one about a Maker's Mark. Like, I think they had a whiskey that was like, very, very high end.
A
Yeah.
B
It may not be Maker's Mark. It's not Maker's Mark, but there's another whiskey company. It'll come to me. But they had a very liquor that they were like, whiskey that they would, like, age for over a hundred years. And so it was really expensive. And then someone came in and started stealing it. And then they found out. And so, like, when they bust this guy, they had put the liquor on the table and were like, yeah. And it was so corny. I was like, this is the corniest thing ever. But I want to see y'all pose in front of some makeup, though. That would be funny to me, I have to say.
A
I was pulled over one time. I was. I was pulled over and I was terrified because I had so many weird things in my car at the time I was performing at the Groundlings theater. And so I had like. It looked like I was trying to get away, but then had murdered someone. Like, there was so much stuff in my car in the front seat. There were so many different costume changes. There were. In the backseat, there was probably 14 wigs. Wigs. Then there was. I had made a costume that looked like I was a giant knife. So just know that's in the backseat.
B
Okay. Wonderful. Large knife.
A
Then the trunk. Two gallons of fake blood.
B
This is all normal to me.
A
But they were honestly, like, I don't even know. I assume. And I was like, I perform at the Groundlings. I was like, pulling up the website.
B
I was like, no, show them a clip, Julia. Show em a clip. They'll run away. They'll run away.
A
I'm like, this wig is Kathy. She's just a wild mom. Like, I was just trying to save my butt so hard. And finally.
B
So when they got you off the 72 hour hold.
A
Yes. I think I just kept saying caps. And they were like, okay, she's. She's fine.
B
She's cool.
A
She's fine.
B
Yes.
A
Let her go.
B
That has happened to me. I didn't get pulled over, but I got my car broken into. Yeah. It was very embarrassing because they broke into my car and didn't steal anything, which made me feel so bad. I was at UCB and I was on a mod team, so it was a sketch, you know? And I had tons of wigs back there. Why they throw out one of my. They broke in. They used a pad, a maxi pad. If you're an OG listener, you know this story I'm making. Quick. They used a maxi pad. It was in a garage. Not in my friend's garage. They use a maxi pad. They use, like, a golf club. Cause we got the camera footage and they broke the windows so you couldn't really hear the sound. It absorbed the sound of the pad. Wow. I was like, okay. Criminals and stim pads absorb so much crimson stem. Not just blood, y'all. They also absorb sound.
A
Okay?
B
So they broke into the window and then got in the car. And then all I saw was, like, this trail of wigs from my car. They didn't steal anything. And I was like, damn. I kind of feel bad that they didn't steal anything because, like, damn. They was like, we don't need these cheap, flammable ass wigs. They were like, we wasted a pad. They took the paddle.
A
Yeah. I mean, no one would ever break into my car and steal stuff. It was just like all old CDs of, like, Michael Buble and Josh Groban.
B
Oh, okay. Somebody was at the Starbucks getting the greatest hit. Yes.
A
I was like, I will have Venti coffee and Michael Buble's holiday Home for the Holidays.
B
Michael Buble should have pushed his Christmas stuff more. I know Mara Carey owns Christmas. I hope she didn't shut him down with the powers that be. But some Buble, I feel like that's for the wine mom.
A
On Christmas, he was doing those Christmas specials, and he was having a lot of guests come out. I don't know if he stopped it or he's just like, I need a break from it. But he needs to come back because they're delightful.
B
The wine moms need him, okay? Their kids are out of the house. They need him. So you need to come up with a line of scented candles. Buble, I'm offering you so many opportunities here. The wine and a scented candle, like, gift basket. And the newest Buble. Yeah, Buble with Buble. Bubbles with Buble.
A
Yeah. Champagne Buble.
B
Champagne Buble. I like it. Okay. Tm okay. If you do that, Buble, you better cut me in on them bubbles now. So back to what we were talking about. They got a U Haul, right? To take all this makeup out. I don't like this because it's like the makeup's not gonna go back to the retailers now.
A
That's what I was gonna ask.
B
Nor will the retailers take it. I gotta find a police auction. Cause I didn't know they might have a baddie skincare over there.
A
Wait, a police auction is something I've never thought about in my entire life. Is that a thing?
B
Yes.
A
So we could go to their auction and buy just so many fences.
B
You could get a boat. You could get a car with just like minor bullet fragments in it. That's okay.
A
Yeah, you just slide in on the other side.
B
Right. You don't need both doors to get in the car. Come on, that must be serious.
A
Two doors.
B
I get in the backseat and climb to the front.
A
That's the stretch. That's the morning stretch.
B
Exactly. That's the morning stretch is like. Especially if you run in late. Oh, yes. So if convicted of these charges, Blanca faces eight years and six months in prison.
A
And she's not.
B
Not the first person, like I said, to get caught. Operating a storefront for stolen goods in Los Angeles near MacArthur park on 6th Street. So 6th Street's starting to turn. Like, that's like the crime mall. So you got the crime park. The crime mall should be next to the crime park because, like, don't you want to crime Auntie Ann after you did your crime?
A
Oh, my gosh. A half off Auntie Ann. Pretzel stick Sounds delightful.
B
So this ain't this Auntie Ann. Okay, this Auntie Ann. So there's a resale role in LA. In 2023, more than $400,000 worth of stolen merchandise was discovered during a raid at two stores on the same block. Detectives found a stash of goods in the attic of one of the stores on 6th Street. They had to call in semi trucks to haul out dozens of boxes from the businesses. One of the stores was a one stop shop for stolen goods, Mostly taken in smash and grab robberies and retail thefts. It had a 75 inch television and smaller TVs from Target, cosmetics from Sephora, pallets of energy drinks and pallets of diapers and sundries. I'm kind of mad about this because as long as these people weren't selling this at, they couldn't have been selling it at resale value. I'm hoping there's a discount. And like, if you can't afford the pampers in the store that they have on lockdown with the security guard, then you could have Got you some discounts. A pamper to me is something that should always be able to be stolen.
A
A pamper should just be free. Yeah, a pamper should be free. And tampons.
B
Tampons should be free. Pampers should be free.
A
Pads should cost something because now they double for when somebody needs to break into a car.
B
Yeah. Pads now are also something you can use to do crime, so they might need to be a little more expensive.
A
But tampons and Pampers should be free.
B
Because nobody's using that. But unemployed babies and unemployed babies deserve to have somewhere to pee.
A
You know, I haven't met. Now that you say that a single baby that works.
B
I've met a couple babies that work. I feel like you have.
A
Really?
B
Yeah. I met a baby on set that worked.
A
Oh, I guess. Yeah.
B
Yeah. I work with some employed babies.
A
Is that the only babies that work?
B
Yeah, those are. And then the gerby. The Gerber babies.
A
Well, but like, okay, models make a lot. AI now models and actor babies. Is there any other job for babies?
B
Car seat testing. What?
A
No.
B
Rich. Rich. We're leaving that at car seat testing. You want the baby to be a little baby dove or something stationary testing. I don't know.
A
Oh, no, no.
B
I hope that real babies are not. They're not putting them in a crash.
A
We all pictured just full impact hits.
B
They're like, we put the baby in a helmet.
A
Somebody goes up to the parents and goes, yeah, so it didn't work.
B
But the good news is we know now that it doesn't work.
A
Okay, we have pieces. Do you need them in a bag or. So dark.
B
Oh, my God. But, yeah, so, yeah, babies do mostly beauty work.
A
It is so funny to think about babies having jobs. Like, I really did. We Google it. There's no other jobs.
B
I think those are the only jobs for babies. But let's look it up. But I think it's just modeling and acting. But it's interesting to me that a parent would have a fresh baby, because I've held babies that they were fresh out the coochie.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
And I'm holding like this. It is terrifying. And they usually are twins so that they can get more action out of the little babies. And I'm like, you just. You literally just spit this baby out in the other wing. And now I got your baby.
A
What's going on? I know they is, like, holding, like, a soft serve. Like, you're just. It's just melting through your fingers. You. You're terrified you're gonna drop it.
B
But so I I feel like the police should have left the Pampers because babies should have free pee pants. And, and, and also I'm mad that I didn't know about this place before they got busted. 2023, I was definitely in LA before 2023. I could have been getting me a 75 inch flat screen. You know, I could have got some Sephora products.
A
Who knew about 6th street being the spot? I had no idea.
B
Yo, if you live in la, dm, the scam goddess po some new pop ups that we can be seen at.
A
Okay?
B
They can't arrest me for shopping. How was I supposed to know that it was a discount?
A
Also, how much stuff did they have if they had to get semi trucks?
B
Well, because they had bought and fenced merchandise for roughly 20 cents on the dollar and then turned around and resold it for more. Three people were arrested in those raids. So they're going to different places and just like stealing as much as possible and running out the door and then, you know, selling it for a steep discount, which, you know, the people need discounts these days. You know, if I find out where these are, y'all, I might put it on the Instagram story, like allegedly go shop.
A
Okay. And I, am I being dim on how this 65 year old woman was getting these products. Is it, is it sort of the walk in grab and get out?
B
Yeah, it's a grab. And so I have a friend who works in retail and when she was on the floor before she like moved up to corporate when we were younger, she said that there were people who would come in and there were rings. Like there are crime rings. And these people we recognize, they come in pretty often. You can't ban them from the store. You're technically not allowed to chase anyone out of the store who's stealing. They're kind of just hoping that you will get afraid when you hear that. But in reality they can't. The security guards can chase a little bit, but they're not supposed to. It's a liability for the store. So they'll come in and a lot of times they'll bring in like a family. Like there'll be a couple kids, there'll be like two adults, one with a stroller that has no baby in it and then one with the kids. And the adults would distract the employees. And so while the adult and the kids. Kids are distracting the employees, you know, tearing up the store, doing whatever, the person with the stroller is just swiping merchandise off of the tables into the stroller and filling it Up. And then once they got their fill, they close the little top on it, and they just run out of the store and then push that stroller to, you know, and then. And then you got some other people who are more amateurs, and they just run in, and they just start grabbing racing stuff and throwing it over their shoulders, and they're out. Yeah.
A
I would like to propose a third potential job for a baby. The third job would be that there is a baby in that stroller. Stroller. And the baby's also grabbing things. Ooh. Yeah. You know what I mean? The baby, like, there's, like, two levels. The upper level is just for throwing stuff in from the adult stroller.
B
And then the adult is doing stealing. And then you have the little baby. And then if you do get caught, you have the little baby holding one of those security tags, like. And then you blame it on the.
A
Baby, acting like they don't know shit. Yeah.
B
And be like, I'm sorry, my baby. A clip, though. We got to get there. Yeah.
A
We go, we'll put that one thing back. Bad baby.
B
Bad baby. Yeah. And then keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
I don't know why I want so many babies to have work now.
B
Listen, they got to get the baby for the minds, okay? We got to get them. We got to get them out there.
A
If places like Goop are shutting down, we just need to get these babies to work. We need to start earning more money.
B
See, if y'all want women to have babies, that's what it like. But you can get your baby employed immediately and be like, oh, okay, yeah, I have a baby. Yeah. Is the baby bringing in income? Okay, I have a baby I used.
A
To work at because I'm from Las Vegas. I used to work at the Forum shops in Caesar's palace at Banana Republic.
B
Cause you know what? That's what you need when you lose your money and you gotta turn your life around. Yeah.
A
You gotta stop by Banana Republic and get a cardigan. I, I, I mean, people would steal stuff all the time. And they just walk in, they grab a perfume bottle, and you just go, oh, ma'am. And they go, nope, no, no, I'm okay. And just walk out. And my favorite one was this woman who walked in and started taking this, like, long faux fur coat off of a mannequin. And it was stapled in, and she was still getting it off. It was tacked in, and she got it off, and I go, oh, ma'am. And she goes, I'm cold. And then just put it on and walked out.
B
The store iconic.
A
But I'm cold was the funniest thing of like, well, I can justify it. I'm a little cold. I can take this entire jacket and get the hell out of here.
B
And honestly, in psychology, if you give people an excuse that they have to think about, it slows the conflict.
A
It does.
B
Because then you're like, wait a minute. By the time you thought through her thinking process, she already out the door, warm as hell in the Koshi stove scams. Y'all know how Amazon was just previously used to, you know, go on and get something very specific, like you want some earrings that look like Michelle Obama or something like, just very specific that you can't buy buy in a store. Well, now Amazon is a great place to get all your essentials. You can get your toiletries. You can have them scheduled to deliver your toiletries, which I do because I've been running out of toilet paper. And that's very embarrassing. Like, to be on the toilet and you don't have no paper. Like, that's. That's very sad and embarrassing. Can't believe I told y'all that. But next time you run out of coffee or realize you out of light bulbs, don't be in the dark. Amazon has you covered. Save every day with deals from Amazon. Do you feel that tingle on your skin, girl? It's the sun. The sun is back. It's summertime. And the folks at Mint Mobile have a hot take. Getting summer bod is out. Getting your savings bod is in. Honey, we all need a savings bod. In this economy this spring and summer, everyone wants skimpy wireless bills and fat wallets. And with premium wireless plans for just 15 bucks a month, you can have both without breaking a sweat or. Or the bank. I already told y'all. A lot of my people that I work with at a scam Goddess have Mint Mobile. And unfortunately, they can contact me all times a day and night all over the universe, because that 5G network be 5G this year. Skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans@mintmobile.com goddess that's mintmobile.com goddess upfront payment of $45 for 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 per month. New customer offer, then full price plans, options available, taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. So makeup theft and resale crime overall is declining. But one area that's heating up is organized retail theft, where organized criminal gangs target stores selling things like makeup and cosmetics shoplifted Goods used to be unloaded through flea markets and pawn shops, but the rise of online shopping has made it easier than ever to turn pilfered products into cash cash. So organized retail theft attracts smart criminals who see the potential for high financial rewards plus lenient legal consequences and minimal jail time because no one is getting hurt except for big companies. And they do have insurance for shrink, so they're not hurting that bad when you take this stuff. Online marketplaces and e commerce platforms make it easy for organized criminals to sell stolen merchandise. So online you can be more anonymous, easily list products and have a large customer base, AKA the world where you're selling these discount makeup. Sophisticated retail crime networks operate across multiple locations and jurisdictions. They usually have a well established hierarchy, communication channels and specialized roles within the criminal enterprise, making it more challenging for law enforcement to disrupt their activities. And more often than not, they are targeted. They target one or two beauty stores that might be found next to each other in the same strip mall. So when they hit in a lick, they're going to the same like they're going to the place where they have a Sephora and an Ulta Hotel. So we can go in, both hit our lick, go home.
A
I was gonna say it's interesting because I feel with shopping malls there's, you know, an increase in security over purses and sunglasses and things like that where it's, you're, you're able to get it. I feel like with makeup and everything, everything's behind the counter.
B
So in a drugstore, but not in like a subsor and an Ulta.
A
Ulta. So they're probably the prime targets for something like this.
B
And the issue is, is that if Sephora and Ulta were ever to start putting locks on things, that would damage their brand. Because if I'm going to a Sephora and an Ulta for my beauty products, there's an assumed level of quality and there obviously much higher price point than if I'm rolling up to the Walgreens, which no shade to rolling up to the Walgreens because honey, that's where I get my Ardell lashes, which those are still some of the best in the game. And now they have the ones that. Because I hate putting on a strip because it's always one is perfect and one is wobbly. But now they have the ones with the sticky stuff underneath. So you just take them off of the thing and they're individuals and then you put them under your eyelash and you just press it and it sticks and you just keep filling it in. You can make whatever kind of eye you want. Cat eye, regular eye, Just a little flare. And then wha. Bam. You. You a baddie.
A
You should be getting free stuff.
B
Yeah. Ardell, sponsor the show. Cause I really do use those lashes. Okay. We will be reaching out. And I love them because it's so much easier. A strip. For me, it always looks like a strip. I put too much glue on it. Look crusty. It's given night before.
A
No, it's the worst. There's always one good eye and one that looks like it just. It got drunk.
B
It got drunk.
A
It stopped by Taco Bell.
B
Right. I got one eye that's pre game and we ain't made it to the party. And I'm like, where did you get the alcohol? And then I hate when I get on TikTok and the girlies have their little. Their little tweezers and they just pop the lash on and it's perfect. I'm like, how do you do that?
A
How, how, How? Years of experience, I guess, but I don't know. Wait, okay, so can I ask you this? You're going into a Sephora or an Ulta. What is the thing that if you were like, I can steal one thing. What is it going to be?
B
If it's one thing? It's always going to be skincare products.
A
Oh, yeah. Because those are very expensive.
B
Those are probably the most expensive. So it's going to be my hyaluronic acid. It's going to be my retinol. My night. Like, I'm definitely going for those. Then I would say, like, maybe flat irons or definitely perfume. Yeah. But those retailing stores don't sell the perfumes that I wear, so.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
But I. But you know, that's. That would be my main go to. What about you?
A
Oh, gosh. I wouldn't know where to. You know what? I would do something really stupid. Like, I feel like I would go to Nars and just get all their lip pencils because I love them so much. They're so good. Or Pat McGrath. Those long. The eye. The eye.
B
That's the only one I wear. Because Pat McGrath, a black woman shout out to a black queen. Y'all don't steal from my black queen. Pat McGrath. Actually, though, I think you have to buy the Pat McGrath first. So maybe it's okay. Cause we technically just stealing from Ulta and not Pat. Cause she already got her cut. Let me listen to the research.
A
She already got her cut because we.
B
Can'T be stealing from our black queens. I know but she has the. Cause I have yellow, a lot of yellow in my skin. So I can't wear most eyeliners because I. I have darker skin and they come off kind of gray or not the stark black that I want. But Pat McGrath got that stark black pen and it's a felt pen. So I don't gotta do all the pot or the like brush. And it's just like one swipe and.
A
I'm like, Instagram videos of her, those Instagram videos where she just is like, oh, we did a smokey eye. But wait, green glitter right in the middle is like the most beautiful thing you've ever. If you haven't seen it, look it up and just.
B
Pat McGrath is where it's at. Oh, my goodness. Okay, so you got taste. That's a good theft moment. I like that theft moment for you and for me. And so I understand why this would be a high market because they're smaller products, easier to transport, and you can put them at a slightly higher price point and you're getting a five finger discount. So this is basically all profit other than the gas it took to, you know, come into tomorrow. So an $8 million theft ring from Ulta and Sephora is our next stop here. So in January of this year, 2025, a 54 year old. I love that the girlies are in their 50s, their 60s, because this is giving, organized, it's giving. My kids are in college and it's giving. You know, I'm an entrepreneur. Her.
A
Yeah.
B
Prenew her.
A
Prenew her.
B
Yes.
A
I'm proud of it. It feels like very like, well, Thelma and Louise were still younger, but it just feels like, I don't know, there's something feminist about this.
B
Like, I love it. So she's. This is a San Diego mom. See, I knew she was a mother.
A
Yeah.
B
Michelle Mack.
A
Barbara Heinrich, right?
B
Barbara Ruh. I feel like Barbara Ruh and Michelle would get along great. Now look at Michelle Heinrich. I wanna say that for 54, her skin looks great.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Okay. Tight, tight, tight. It looks tight. You know what I mean? And she's definitely like, the pores look very clear. You know, her teeth look fantastic.
A
She's got a nice eyebrow shape.
B
She's got a great eyebrow shape. And, you know, lips looking moisturized.
A
Real teeth or fake teeth.
B
It's given. They might be fake just because they're.
A
All the same length and color.
B
Yeah. But I also. They're good fake teeth. It's not giving me like Gucci mane. I love you, Gucci. Mane. But you do got them chompers. But, you know, it's not giving me like I'm a rapper and I just went to, you know, Atlanta and got my veneers and I gotta give a.
A
Shout out to my lady. Cause she's got an active sunspot and I do too, so.
B
It's beautiful.
A
It's beautiful.
B
Yeah. So I'm into you right now. Michelle Mack. So she was sentenced?
A
No, not sentenced.
B
Lied, man. No, don't take Michelle. She was sentenced to five years and four months in state prison. That's some bullshit. Put my sister Michelle in federal federales, okay? She needs to be able to golf and to get her Martha Stewart on. I can't believe y'all put my girl in the state pen. Like she was just a. Like a regular, you know, murderer or something. This is terrible. So she was put in for five years and four months for masterminding an organized cosmetics theft ring that costs makeup stores $8 million over a 10 year period. Over 10 years. 8 million. That ain't enough. That's not a lot. Y' to leave my queen Michelle alone, okay? She was just giving. She was another distributor, okay?
A
Yeah.
B
That's all she was distributing. And over 10 years, like y'all petty as hell. And I realized that this is probably one of the crime rings that women do get caught in. Because a lot of times in scams, if it's something that's technical, involves computers, if it's anything that men can be sexist around, cops typically don't catch the woman because they think, oh, a woman couldn't be smart enough to do this. But because this is makeup, they were like, well, women wear makeup. And then they threw the book at my sis, at my library.
A
Excuse me, cops. Have you ever seen the Net? Starring Sandra Bullock? That's a whole movie that has to do with computers that I don't remember.
B
This is where I want misogyny to come into play all the time. Like for crimes. I want to be like, ladies is too stupid to do organized crimes.
A
And then we tiptoe out.
B
Yeah. In our heels. Like, oh, I was so scared of all the crime happening here. Mr. Officer, thank you so much for helping us. Bye bye.
A
We're so glad we have cops around.
B
As I walk out, boobily. Ooh, a boobity boobity boo. That's where all my brain cells are. Like, I want us to get away with these. So Michelle ran a burglary ring that had at least 12 women shoplifting makeup and other goods at that the Max would resell online. So I don't like burglary because I always think burglary and I think of home burglary.
A
Yeah.
B
But I think of, like, what I would call it breaking and entering or something else for, like, a store.
A
I think not a house. McDonald's burglary technique. What's the McDonald's gu. Burglar.
B
Oh, Hamburglar.
A
The Hamburglar. That's what I think.
B
I hope they all wore black and white and just, like, tiptoed out.
A
I just love the idea that they all had little tiny, like, neckerchiefs on.
B
Yes.
A
And they were all like, ladies, let's do this down.
B
Everybody puts one hand in now. Now I'm gonna take Michelle. Get the brick. Down, down, down, down, down, down, down. Smash. Down, down, down, down. Now grab crab.
A
I'm gonna steal some blush. I'm go real nice.
B
I'm gonna steal eyeliner to make my sisters finer. I'm gonna rob this out of town. Oh, yes. The best thing about being a woman is having a little fun. Breakfast Sephora. Steal a little more.
A
Go to Ulta. Do what I dare. No, that didn't.
B
I think that's when you got to start listening like Urban Decay, Chanel May.
A
Yeah. Oh.
B
What?
A
You're doing it right. You're doing it right.
B
Stealing these products that feel the way I feel. Damn. I feel like a scam. Yeah. Yes. We. We got to get our album together.
A
I feel like a burglar.
B
There it is. I feel like a burglar. Yeah. And then the alarm goes off and they're like, come on, ladies. Seriously now get.
A
Wait a. We gotta go.
B
I love you. We gotta get our album together. Julie.
A
I can't wait.
B
I can't wait.
A
It's the first track. That's the first track. You heard it here?
B
Yes, you did first. That was an early drop, so they targeted retail stores across the country, including hundreds of Ultas, mini Sephora's, and one LensCrafters in Claremont.
A
I love lens crafters.
B
Listen, they gotta get them lenses. And I honestly love this so much because as a woman stealing these things, obviously you're gonna know what the girls are buying and what they're not buying. Buying.
A
I gotta talk about LensCrafters for a second. I'm sorry.
B
The girls need good lenses.
A
LensCrafters has, like.
B
She's 54, you know, the vision starts now.
A
Most, what, 150 glasses out. So, like, imagine if you've taken 50. Someone's gonna be like, ma'am, what's in your bag? Because all of the right side of the store is gone.
B
Yeah. I feel like they gotta come. It's like 10 of them. They're fresh off brunch, high on mimosas, and they're all, like, trying them on. Like, we're out of the bachelorette party, and then all of a sudden, it's you in the store. Like, you were working in Vegas, and you're like, oh, ma'am, you can't wear those glasses out of the store. She turns around, she says, I can't see. And then.
A
Yeah, yeah.
B
And then everybody's just gone. And you were like, well, they couldn't see.
A
She still says, I'm cold. And I go, wait, in that case, it doesn't work.
B
But while you're thinking about how it doesn't work, she already gone.
A
She's gone.
B
She's gone. She's already gone. Okay, so Michelle directed several women to shoplift products, paying for their travel expenses as well as providing them with a list of retail stores across the country to target. She was organized, and she paid for travel.
A
Come on.
B
Per diem for per schem. So some of Michelle's accomplices mailed stolen goods to a post office where Michelle had a company address listed under online makeup store. She then resold the products on Amazon for a fraction of their retail price. Damn. I've. I've bought some stuff off Amazon I might have bought from Michelle. So Michelle and her husband Kenneth, were arrested in their San Diego mansion after a search warrant was served in December of 2023. During the search, authorities found more than $300,000 worth of makeup. We have a little video here. It's short. We're just gonna see a little video of them on the news page. While that's being pulled up, I will say that Michelle was also ordered to pay $3 million in restitution to Ulta and Sephora. Girl, be serious. And those stores needed it. People literally won't stop stealing from them. Oh, damn. I didn't know they were stealing from y'all like that. This is video of Michelle and Kenneth Ma in December at their bonzo mansion. Oh, man. Her husband, Chapel. They rented it out as a wedding venue and an Airbnb. But according to a search warrant, it also doubled as a stash house for a small fortune.
A
Very organized.
B
Stolen from major retail stores across the country.
A
Nars. There it is.
B
Yeah, there's the Nars. We 1. Her husband's giving me, like, wonderful beta energy of, like, I bet you he organized the storehouse. He knew that they didn't need to get a trap in the hood. They got a nice wedding venue, and you didn't. You didn't even know you were doing your first dance over just so much stolen booty.
A
So much stolen stuff that just. Windows for days. Those two.
B
I love it. Just living out loud. So there's another $2 million theft ring from Ulta and Sephora. Okay, Ulta and Sephora. I can't be on company sides unless you sponsor the show. I love shopping at those stores. I do. I was actually at an Ulta the other day.
A
Yeah, they're fantastic. I also love them.
B
Yes. But last year, investigators in New York broke up a $2 million makeup crime ring led by a married couple. I love that y'all keeping it in the family. Christopher Guzman. Yes. And the Goose. Yes. And Evely Guzman. Batista. Okay. She got two last names. I know that's right. She said, I'm keeping my last name cuz I'm a bad. So now we're looking at some. Some lip balms that they have in a bowl. So under the business name, which that doesn't look too professional to me. Like y'all was stealing lip balms. That's. That's for children. Children steal the bombs.
A
Just keeping them in a bucket too, at the bottom of stairs. I don't know about that.
B
The other stairs, like y'all just got a bomb bucket at the bottom of the stairs. Y'all need a. A storage closet like my girl had. Okay, miss, the marks were doing it right. So under the business name Elise Fashion llc, they sold stolen merchandise, including makeup, perfume, and beauty products in New York for over two years. Now, if you only got away in two years in New York, I was really up. Cuz there people out on the street selling fake purses, and they put them in a blanket, and as soon as they see the cops, that blanket gets scooped up, thrown over their shoulder, and they just skipping down the street to their next location. Okay, that's a real popup.
A
That is a real pop.
B
Yes. And so this is our last video. Here we have Queens County DA listing the stores targeted by this specific crime ring.
A
Alleged retail theft ring specifically targeted Ulta Beauty, Sephora, Macy's, American Eagle, and other well, well known retailers.
B
So that was the police putting the makeup on the table. That was their photo op with that makeup. Wow. Honestly, they did not put enough makeup on the table. Because to me, this doesn't even look like one of those home parties you would have when you slang an Avon or something like the Avon lady got More than in her trunk.
A
Like, yeah, I wish they were doing like a full on music video to Fergie's Glamorous. Yeah, that's what I want with all the products.
B
I want them to have it in the U Haul and then they have like a videographer come in there and it's like G L A M Slow pan. Oh, Sephora stuff. Yeah, yeah, that's what I want. So they paid truck drivers to divert makeup headed for Sephora and Ulta stores. Okay, so now we're getting more technical. They weren't going to the stores and breaking in. They were like, hey, Mr. Truck Driver, go ahead. And they got it really falling.
A
Oh, my good. Oh. So they were just waiting for them to pull up and go, yes, back it up over here.
B
They giving the truck driver a cut and then things are falling off the ch.
A
I like this.
B
I love this.
A
I like when it becomes more people involved.
B
And I definitely have purchased from this. I've told y'all in the past, if you're a new listener, but there was a man called the Mac man who would come to our house, and I just thought we were rich and fancy and he would have Mac products and all the new stuff, and we would buy it from him directly. And I just thought because you know how rich people will have, like, stylists come over with clothes they can buy, like in their home. So I thought we was just balling in the burbs and he would come over and we would buy Mac products from the Mac. And then he disappeared after a while. So, you know, Evan, he probably got caught.
A
But rip the Mac Man.
B
Rip the Mac Man. He was a good guy. So they were stealing from. Directly from manufacturers and warehouses. Christopher and Elvalise got up to $50,000 worth of stolen goods each week and apparently paid theft crews between 10 and 15% of the retail value. See, this is what I'm talking about. Pay your workers. Okay. You know, when we were talking about Michelle, she was giving everybody a per diem to go do their thefts and an organized list. And. And over here, when we talk about Elvalise and her boo, Christopher, they were given a cut, a percentage cut to the truck drivers. And I love that. That's ethical. So they. The stolen.
A
So one ethical thing they're doing right.
B
The stolen cosmetics were then cataloged and sold in New York through online advertisements and via brick and mortar boutique called Elvale Fashion in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. So she was also giving this international. She was shipping these products to Santo Domingo, and she had A brick and mortar there. And ain't nobody asking in Santo Domingo wear products came from. I'm not. Okay, That's. You don't got to pay no taxes for them to come into the country.
A
They go, wait, wait, is this from Sephora?
B
And they're like, we ain't asking where it's from. I ain't never gone in the store and asked where something was from. And so this is a photo here. Is this the store in Santo Domingo? Yeah. Let's zoom in on that. Okay. I like the store's architecture. You can definitely tell these products are stolen because there's not multiples of any item. It's like, you gotta come and get the one we got, or you. Oh, I would be there every time they got a new shipment. Cause I got to see what they got.
A
I know. And if you don't get the one, you get the none.
B
Yes. So then also, to wrap this up, in December of last year, police in Elk Grove, California, chased a thief out of an altar and into a Sephora, where he also stole. And we have one last link here.
A
What?
B
Yes. So he went from one to the other. Cause I told you, they're not supposed to chase you very far, but they.
A
This guy did.
B
So this was the popo. The popo can chase.
A
Oh, yeah, yeah.
B
So instead of getting in his car as he's running from the police, I definitely need some of that. He's got a.
A
He's got the lead right now.
B
Yes.
A
He could have made it to his car.
B
Benny Hill. He's definitely got the lead. Why? And the cops gotta go back to their car. That's gonna take forever. Like, bro, he's like, oh. And if he's running that fast, he can't have that much product on him.
A
I really feel like it's like, one of those things where your husband and you're like, oh, Michelle is going to be so pissed if I don't stop at the second location. I promised her both.
B
Look how fast he's running. Sir, go to your car.
A
He's fast. If you don't get more.
B
Usain Bolt.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean, overall, Jillian, final thoughts on. On these schemes. How do you feel about these, like, and from a 10 to your limo scam being the, like, nicest, safest?
A
I feel like they're like a six or a seven. Like, I feel like they're naughty, but, like, they don't mean to be. They're just looking for new opportunities, these ladies. And I like that. It's ladies. And I like that. Like, it's organized. And we don't know this for sure, but they have matching outfits. At least in my. In my imagination.
B
In my. They have matching outfits.
A
Yeah, they have matching outfits. And. Yeah. I mean, it's just like girls wanting to be girls.
B
Yes. And also they're taking care of their employees at their crime syndicate.
A
They are most people.
B
I bet you they have a casual Friday.
A
Yeah.
B
You know what I mean? Casual theft casual Friday.
A
Oh, they sure have, like, pizza Saturdays.
B
Oh, yes. You gotta get some pizza after you rob several stores in multiple cities.
A
Yeah. And you know, the girls only have one slice and they have a big, like, little heaping of salad.
B
I hope they have a leaderboard where the winner, like, the employee criminal of the month gets like, criminal month gets, like, a bonus.
A
Yeah.
B
They're like, well, Sally, everyone give it up for Sally. She stole 6,000 products this week.
A
And she's like, I couldn't have done it without you guys. Support.
B
The group chat means so much to me. And whoever told me to go for the skincare, like, that really just changed the game. Yeah. Oh, Jillian, this has been a blast. Thank you so much for coming on.
A
Thank you for having me.
B
Yes. It's always so. Now I have to ask you, where would you like to be found? Anything you want people to watch, any social media, all the things.
A
Oh, my gosh, I am on Instagram. JillianBell. But I think the thing that I want more than anything for my whole life is for you to go on Hulu and watch summer of 69. It is coming out May 9th. It is my directorial debut.
B
What's it about? A little bit.
A
It is about a sexually inexperienced teenager who hires a local stripper to help her land the. The guy of her dreams the last week of school.
B
Beautiful.
A
And so it's very John Hughes ish. That's what we went for. And it's starring Chloe Feynman from snl, who is so talented. And Sam Morelos and Charlie Day and Paula Pell, Nicole Byer, Liza Koshy, Natalie Morales, Alex Moffat.
B
We got all the comedians, all the great comedians.
A
Cass, Matt Cornett. Everyone is so good in this film and it's a good time. And the world feels like it's ending and there's scams everywhere. So go on and have, like, a light fun. It's on Hulu and it's not for any specific age group. It's for everybody.
B
We all need a life fun time. And I'm so glad that you're bringing back those fun types of movies that we used to have in the 2000s, like, where you watch something and you laugh and you think a little bit, but you have a great time and you walk out feeling good.
A
Yeah, that's what we want. And we've had a few screenings. We were at south by Southwest, and people leave, like, cheering so hard. And I was like, ah, this is all we've ever wanted is for people to feel good and have a good time. And it's a coming of age story for two different ages, 18 and 28. And I'm just, like I said, I'm 40 and I'm in a coming of age myself. Like, I think we're constantly evolving of age of like, oh, now I have to figure out this part of my life. And so there's a bit of that. But it really is such a good time, and I really hope people check it out. I'm so proud of it.
B
Yes. I can't wait to watch it. I seriously can't because this is like my jam and I love all those comedians. So. Yes. Dylan, congratulations on your first year directorial debut. I'm sure it's one of many, many, many, many. You're such a wild generational talent. What can't you do?
A
Thank you.
B
Okay. She does everything. Serial entrepreneur. We love to have them on the show. As always, y'all snitch on your friends, family, and your enemies at Scam got his pot. Gmail.com. just make sure Scam is retired because we don't want to. What? Yes. Up your bag. And if you want to watch the television series Scam Goddess, all episodes are streaming now on Hulu. If you want to watch me in Going Dutch, where I play a sergeant Dana Conway. Wonder what that's about. Watch Going Dutch, also streaming on Hulu. And you can get my book Scam Goddess wherever you purchase things that you read. And it's also an audiobook, if you'd like to listen to it on your drives. And learn about my own personal crimes and some of my favorite ones throughout history. And if you're in Nashville, Tennessee, pull up on me at the Global Fraud Conference. I will be there doing a whole talk about fraud. Y'all are gonna learn. I know a lot more about this than what I talk about on this show, little by little. And I will be doing a book signing after the show. So come say hello and get your book signed.
A
What don't you do? Jesus Christ. That was so many. I'm so proud of you. I'm like your mom.
B
Oh, my gosh. I'm like your mom. I'm like your mom.
A
We need to rest. We need to rest.
B
All right, congregation, I want y'all to get out there and don't stop the scheming, okay? Hold onto that feeling. Yes. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Teams Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming. Come in to your neighborhood Starbucks to enjoy free refills of hot or iced brewed coffee or tea. So stop in and stay a while. Your free refill refill is ready at Starbucks. Visit starbucks.comrefills for details. You've got a little pep in your step today. I do. My new doctor really helped. That's great. I'm so glad you saw a kidney doctor. Me too. We went over my treatment options and got me set up with a home dialysis advocate from Fresenius Kidney Care to learn about home dialysis. I feel good now. Keep up, will you? Connect with a home dialysis advocate from.
A
Fresenius Kidney Care to learn about home dialysis options.
B
Visit YourHomeDialysis.com to learn more. That's your homedialysis. Com.
Scam Goddess Podcast Summary
Episode: The Ulta EntreprenuHERS w/ Jillian Bell
Release Date: May 6, 2025
Host: Laci Mosley (Scam Goddess)
Guest: Jillian Bell
Duration: Approximately 72 minutes
In this vibrant episode of Scam Goddess, host Laci Mosley welcomes Emmy-nominated actress and director Jillian Bell to discuss the intriguing world of scams, particularly focusing on makeup theft and organized retail fraud. The episode seamlessly blends humor with insightful discussions, offering listeners both entertainment and awareness about the darker side of the beauty industry.
Laci introduces Jillian Bell with enthusiasm, highlighting her impressive career trajectory from writing on Saturday Night Live to starring in films like Better Call Saul and iCarly. Jillian is also celebrated for her directorial debut, "Summer of 69," premiering on Hulu on May 9th.
Notable Quote:
Laci (00:49): "She's a movie director queen. We'd love to see more of them."
Jillian shares her personal fascination with scams, acknowledging both her interest in scam documentaries and her own minor involvement in a harmless scam during her high school prom in Las Vegas. This anecdote sets a relatable and humorous tone for the episode.
Notable Quotes:
Jillian (06:24): "I think I have a plan."
Laci (08:03): "That's the only scam I've been a part of. But I feel like it's naughty, and I'm just proud of myself for doing it."
Jillian recounts her high school prom experience where a carefree group sought to extend their night by convincing their limo driver to continue cruising the Las Vegas Strip. Utilizing a makeshift ruse, Jillian impersonated a parent to negotiate extra time, resulting in an additional hour of festivities.
Highlights:
Notable Quotes:
Jillian (06:27): "I called him up and I said, 'I think maybe a little bit longer. Let’s stay out just a little bit more.'"
Laci (08:45): "Did you know you were gonna be an actress then?"
Jillian (09:00): "I knew there was something in there."
The episode delves into the case of Blanca Escobar, a 65-year-old woman charged with stealing over $350,000 worth of makeup from various stores and establishing her own resale outlets near MacArthur Park in Los Angeles. Laci and Jillian explore the methods and motivations behind such thefts, emphasizing the sophistication and organization involved.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
Laci (24:31): "So Blanca Escobar has been charged with stealing more than $350,000 worth of makeup from other stores and opening her own makeup stores."
Jillian (25:05): "She's got a messy storeroom, but she's organized."
Laci and Jillian discuss the rise of organized retail theft (ORT) targeting beauty stores like Ulta and Sephora. They analyze how these criminal enterprises operate across multiple locations, utilizing online marketplaces to sell stolen goods anonymously.
Discussion Points:
Notable Quotes:
Jillian (48:42): "Organized criminal gangs target stores selling things like makeup and cosmetics."
Laci (49:05): "They probably target Ulta as their prime spot."
The conversation touches on the challenges law enforcement faces in tackling ORT, including the need for multi-jurisdictional coordination and the sophisticated methods employed by thieves. Additionally, the discussion highlights societal attitudes towards theft, especially in industries driven by high consumer demand and aspirational branding.
Notable Quotes:
Jillian (54:05): "They were like, ladies are too stupid to do organized crimes, but here we are."
Laci (55:19): "Have you ever seen the Net, starring Sandra Bullock?"
Jillian (55:27): "Misogyny plays a role in underestimating female involvement in sophisticated scams."
As the episode wraps up, Jillian shares her excitement about her upcoming film and reflects on the episode's discussions about scams and fraud. The hosts emphasize the blend of humor and education that characterizes Scam Goddess, encouraging listeners to stay vigilant yet entertained.
Notable Quotes:
Jillian (66:38): "In my imagination, they have matching outfits."
Laci (68:05): "It's a coming of age story for two different ages, 18 and 28."
Before concluding, Jillian promotes her directorial debut, "Summer of 69," urging listeners to watch the film and support her creative endeavors.
Notable Quote:
Jillian (67:23): "I really hope people check it out. I'm so proud of it."
Disclaimer: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the core discussions and insights shared during the episode.