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- [00:00]
A
Scams. Robbery and fraud.
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B
Scam.
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A
Cause robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's poppin, Congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. And we're back for another installment of Scammer Damn Goddess. And guys say with me. I'm so. What? I'm so. Yes. Excited. And I very much am. Because this is, like, this person. I've known this person for many years. We went to college together. Is crazy. But, guys, you can see his latest standup special on Revolt TV's funny AF. He's a standup comic. He's very hilarious. He's also a criminal. And I'm. This is. I'm about to out him. This episode is also an ambush as well as a comedy show. But I'm so excited to have him. Gary Curtis. What's up, Gary?
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B
What's going on, Lacey? Thanks for having me.
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A
Thanks for being here. I so appreciate it, especially. Cause you got a little fresh, baby. What's not so fresh? It's done thawed out now. It's done thawed out a little bit.
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B
Yeah. A little bit. He's about to be six months.
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A
Aw, it's so cute. How long are you gonna say months before you start saying years? Are you gonna be like, he's 39?
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B
Nah, I'm not trying to do no extra math. The minute he hits 12 months, he might hit 11 months. And I'm like, he's a year. He's. He's a year old. And then he'll be a year until he's two years.
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A
I want you to be obnoxious. Be like, yeah, he. 47 months.
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B
Keep it going.
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A
Yeah.
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B
124 months. Yeah.
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A
We're like, how many. He's. He's 40. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Wait, so, Gary, what's. What's your relationship with scams? Have you ever been scammed? Have you ever ran any scams or.
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B
I have been scammed. I've been scammed. You know, I feel like I'm good at rooting out scams. It was part of my job to root out scams. But I've also. I was scammed last year. You know, the last thing I tried.
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A
Oh, no, that's fresh.
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B
Yeah. Last thing I tried to buy live tickets to was a hockey game, and I got scammed.
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A
No, why are you trying to buy hockey tickets?
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B
That's exactly why I got scammed. My black ass shouldn't have been buying hockey tickets.
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And they knew. They just give those away.
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B
They was like, him know what he doing? Let's just take his money.
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A
They saw you were black and were like, wait a minute, they got me.
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B
They saw my profile.
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A
Some black people like hockey. It's a few they do. There are, it's like a strong 12 to 17 in every city.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Wait, what hockey team?
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B
There was the LA Kings, you know, so, you know, la, LA Kings, they popping. These people were elaborate though. They had like built a whole website that looked as if it were a real website giving you your tickets. And so I transferred the money and the money was gone. And the tickets were not real. The tickets did not ever come.
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A
Did they give you fake tickets?
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B
Oh, no.
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A
They didn't even email you nothing?
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B
No, it was like on a website that said they would send you the email, send you the tickets once you paid, you know, which is normal. And so I sent the money and the, the tickets never came. And they stopped responding to your boy.
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A
Of course they did. They got what they wanted.
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B
Yeah, they did. They had me beat. I was upset. I was kind of upset.
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A
Now can I ask, did you think you were going to get like a little discount there? Were they like, we got the LA kickstickers on the low or.
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B
Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. That's the thing. I blame my aunt because my aunt has taught me to really appreciate a discount. And I will go to extreme means.
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A
Way to blame a black woman.
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B
I will go to extreme means. You don't know that she's black. She could have been white.
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A
That's true. You are very light skinned.
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B
I am.
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A
But she was black, wasn't she?
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B
She is black.
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A
Exactly. I knew you did it. What are you trying to play?
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B
Yeah. Okay, so yes, my aunt, she's big on coupons and I thought I was getting me a nice discount. I usually, when I get big discounts, I usually hit her up, you know, like she be proud of me. You know, like people would get, people would get like good report cards and show off to their family. I would like show my aunt my receipt from CVS. Be like, Look, I just saved $5 today.
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A
She'd be like, you the good baby. That's so good.
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B
Yeah, she like, yeah, I taught you well.
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A
Oh, I love it. I love it. Well, before we get into our first segment, which is what's hot and fried? Which is where we will warn our listeners about a hot new scam on the streets. Or we'll read one of your messy ass listener letters. As always, snitch on your fans and family@scamgoddesspodmail.com just make sure your scam is Retired, so we don't fuck up your bag. But before we. It's time for my ambush. So I'm doing a petty pullover. Skirt.
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B
Skirt.
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A
We're pulling over. Okay, so Gary scammed me in college, and I love that. When I said, what's your relationship with scams? This nigga fully was like, you know, one time I tried to buy some LA Kings tickets, and it didn't work out for me. Oh, so you're not gonna talk about the full scam that you was running on me? You're not gonna talk about that?
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B
I did not run a scam on you. I ran a legit. We ran a legitimate business.
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A
Go ahead. It was not legit.
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B
Tell the people about our legitimate business.
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A
Let me tell y' all about how I was victimized. I was victimized by Gary Curtis. Okay?
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B
Oh, my. Not the grandma voice.
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A
It was the dead of winter, the girls were cold, and they were desperate for a good time. Show me a good time. And Gary had an organization called Fab Five Entertainment. Don't that sound like robbery?
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B
Does sound llc. Legitimate llc. Don't. Don't leave off the llc.
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A
Anybody can go get an llc. Whatever.
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B
Well,
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A
so basically, they threw parties, and they were like, promote and throw parties. And sometimes they'd be like, I remember we won the Halloween costume contest. And you did actually pay us the money for that because we are legit. Which I think was like $10 or something.
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B
Y' all probably got a. It was probably 10 of y'. All. And y' all split, like, $100 between 10 of y'. All.
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A
There were five of us, and we should have definitely got. Yeah, I got 20 bucks. I don't know why I remember it as more money. Maybe. Cause 20 bucks went a long way at that time. I don't know, child.
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B
In Pittsburgh.
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A
Yeah, right. In Pittsburgh, you know, so they threw these parties, right? Just to set the stage. They would throw these parties. And there's this place in Pittsburgh called the Strip District, which is just like a bunch of warehouses that are, like, hollowed out, right? And then, like, some of them are being used for shipping, some are not. So there was a nightclub. There was a nightclub there, and it was. It looked like a nightclub inside. It did. Like a legitimate nightclub, and it was named Dreams. Now, there was never a marquee. There was never a sign on the nightclub ever. They just would give it a name, and they would pile us onto yellow school buses in our best club attire, and they would bust us over there. Okay? So long story short, Dreams got shot up as nightclubs do.
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B
Not at our party. Not at one of our parties. Feel like you have to add that. You can't just be putting those two together.
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A
So at a separate event that wasn't theirs. I'll get in that. Whatever. Dreams got shot up. So then they changed. They were like, oh, we're gonna rebrand. We're gonna rebrand. We're gonna redo the whole thing. Now it's Club 21. So now we're like, oh, okay, we're not going to Dreams no more. That place is the ghetto. Like, but we're all gonna pay our $5 so we can go to Club 21. We get back on those buses, and we go and we ride. And when we get to Club 21, guess what? It's just Dreams. It's still dreams. It's just like, maybe some bullet fragments in the walls, but still.
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B
All right, let's. Let's talk about the fact that you paid $5, though, and got transportation to and fro and a party with a DJ in between for $5.
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A
Fine. When I'm a woman, I pay no dollars. I pay no dollars, Gary. And eventually we start shaking y' all down. So I got my free entries so, you know, the next time around. So then I don't know what happened. Maybe Club 21 also got shot up. You know, just a lot of. Here's the thing. I. I know these shootings sound very light, but that's because when there's a shooting in a club where it's black people, like, those shootings are very. Like, I've been in club shootings, and I didn't feel like, oh, my God, like they're gonna shoot everybody. It felt very specific. It always feels like black people have bullets for certain people. It's not like they're coming in and, like, you know, like these little white boy shooters who are just like anybody in this bar. Whereas, like, black shooters are like, to ominy. Where is Tony?
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B
It's like the red shell on Mario Kart. It's real, right?
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A
It's very specific. So you do feel in danger, but you're also like, they looking for somebody. They not just gonna be out here shooting all willy nilly. Now, you could catch a stray. That's why you run. So. So Club 21, you know, falls apart or falls off. So then we're like, we're not going back to this ratchet ass club ever again. Fuck this club. We're never going back, right? We're older now, right? So then here comes Gary. Hey, y' all, we got a new club. It's called Mosaic. And I'm like, you know what? Fuck this guy. We're gonna do our research. So we get. We get the club flyer, we look at the address, and we're like, oh, it's a different address. Okay, okay. It's a whole different address. Bet. All right, we'll go. Let's go check out Mosaic, y'. All. We pull up there, and we go. We get to the entrance, and we go inside, and we realize it's the same club, but they had us enter through the back door. We were so pissed. Gary, how could you do this to us? How explain yourself when you sell it
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B
back to me like this? I just heard those are very savvy businessmen that you were dealing with. Those were very savvy businessmen who knew how to keep a business going. That's resilience right there.
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A
Y' all are scammers. I still to this day cannot believe y' all did that. We. We were so hyped. We were like, no, we got it figured out. They're not gonna trick us. And we walked in that, and we were like, wait a minute. We started looking around. I'm like, I remember that bullet casing. Wait a minute. We're in the same club.
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B
Oh, man.
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A
Oh, yeah. So, Gary, a scammer. You guys saw it here. I exposed it here.
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B
I feel like we need to take a poll. Would you consider that a scam? Nah.
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A
Okay, okay. I'll give you that in the comments of this episode. Do y' all think that Gary scammed me?
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B
Am I.
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A
Yes or no? Yes or no? Okay, y' all know the answer is yes. Okay? But y' all can have an opinion or whatever if you want. If you don't want my affection anymore. But, guys. So let's get into it. What's hot and fraud, like we said earlier, snitch on your friends and family. Scam got a spot at gmail dot com. All right, Gary, so we got a letter. I need you to give me a fake name for this person.
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B
Roberta.
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A
Roberta. Nice. Is that your aunt's name?
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B
It's Black History Month.
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A
What black history did Roberta do?
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B
Roberta Flack.
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A
Okay, well, she was a singer. Yeah, I was gonna say that's the only Roberta I could think of.
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B
It's the only one I know, too.
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A
That's like being like, sza. Oh, well. What Black History Month did she do? Computer, I guess. That is black history. It was flavored.
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B
It's black history. Yeah. Make black history every day. We don't need A month.
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A
You know, you right. You right about that. Also, black history is not just slavery. So y' all, please stop reposting just slave photos for Black History Month. We have so much history. It's not just that. Although that was bad shout out to Harriet. I'm seeing a lot of Harriet, like, tiktoks lately. Like, I saw one by Danielle. Oh, my God, I wish I could pinocch. She's hilarious. Hers was like, when you wake up late for Harriet Tubman's slave escape.
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B
I saw that, too.
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A
I was like, y' all are wilding. Let Harriet Tubman live in peace between Nicki Minaj and N. She ain't never gonna catch a break.
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B
She about to live on that 20.
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A
Oh, right. I hope we finally gonna get that 20. Twin. Twin. I'm never gonna spend it.
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B
Yeah, I'm definitely. That's gonna make me save. That's gonna make me save Harriet face. Looking at you every time you about
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A
to spin like, mm, you really about to buy the white man's Chipotle.
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B
You ain't never seen a smiling picture of Harriet ever.
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A
She was never happy.
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B
No, Just tired.
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A
She had very. Right? Just exhausted. I was looking at the stars the other day, and I was like, the North Star. So she found. She looked at this bitch and then found Canada. Hell, nah. If I was Harriet Tubman, they would be like, wait a minute, Lacey. We back in slavery? I'd be like, yeah, we did a loop. I'm so sorry. Well, anyway, y' all enjoy it here. I gotta go. I would not have been good at that. So Roberta says. Because tangents. Roberta says, love the show. Oh, that's nice. Okay, I'm gonna skip the nice stuff, Roberta. And I'm gonna. I know how much you admire Nigerians for their scamming virtuosity. So you're the person who came to mind when I found the attached letter among my dad's files. He received it via mail at his office in Chicago way back in 1994. In 94. Yes. I love that. Oh, I love a mail scam. Gotta look in the envelope and just put a little stamp on it for robbery.
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B
94. They framed this, right?
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A
This is like a relic. So this is the. This is the letter. So there's two scams in here, so I'll read them both. But this is the letter that he got in 94. So it says, Dear sir, personal.
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B
Yep.
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A
I am Mr. Patrick Ombuwiri, the chief accountant of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation headquarters in Lagos, Nigeria. I have a mandate of My colleagues in office to solicit your assistance for a deal we want to execute. My corporation awarded contracts to different firms and building of petrochemical complex. So basically, he's like, I work for the oil. And we want to give you a contract. At the end, it says, as for your assistance and for the use of your account, we agreed to let you have 35% total sum when we transfer it into your account. So for you helping us with this contracting and giving us your account information, we'll give you 35% of our earnings. And it's on some legit, like, paper. It's got watermarks.
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B
It's on propellers from 94.
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A
Is this a quill signature?
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B
It sounds legit, right?
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A
He wrote a lot of, like, I skipped a bunch of stuff because it's like, he wrote a lot of jargon stuff in here. He wrote like, damn. He said he wanted this person's company letterheaders, three of them, stamped and signed the company's invoices. Three copies, stamped and signed. And the bank particulars, name, address, account, fax and telex numbers.
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B
That's how you get them. So you got to be detailed. You got to be able to detail. He wasn't. He wasn't, like, too greedy with it that he was trying to get straight to the money. He was like, I'm going to take my time scamming you.
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A
But all of those things are things that you could use to scam. If you have official letterhead from a company, you could just write letters and be like, yes, we are from that company and we need you to send us $45,000. Like, you could just scam. That's amazing. And that's from 94. Keep your parents old. Scam stuff, guys. That's like an old sweater, you know,
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B
I feel like our parents. I say our. My parents, they just scammed each other.
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A
What do you mean?
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B
Let's not get into that. All right, Come on, keep going.
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A
Oh, my God. Oh, Lord Jesus. So here's the other half of this letter. Thank you for giving a rich letter, Roberta, for Black History Month. Here's a scam that I almost fell victim to on Facebook. While I was waiting for a live streaming show to begin, the organizers were having some technical difficulties and posted on the event page there would be a delay. Shortly thereafter, someone posted a link saying the stream had to be moved to another site and to go there being of not a particular sober state of mind. Okay, Roberta, you was lit. I clicked on the link. At first it looked somewhat legit. The Site said the show would begin shortly and that all the users need to just register for access. I entered my throwaway email address and was asked to enter credit card information. The site assured me that they weren't going to charge me for anything. Just use the card for verification. Yeah, you know how verification works, she said. Thankfully, my scam senses kicked in and I immediately closed the window and went back to the original page and saw that they had kept going and they had deleted the post. Pretty sneaky. So that's a good one to me because it's like, you know how you scammed me? Like good old bait and switch. Like, you show up thinking you're getting one thing, and then you really get something else. You can relate.
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B
Yeah, that's pretty savvy. I would not be able to relate at all. You know, I never scammed. Never scammed a day in my life. But as a victim of scamming, I.
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A
Oh, as a victim.
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B
It sounds like I might fall for that one, too. You know, you in there, you trying to. We can never. You know how many technical problems you have during zoom? Trying to get on. You had a technical problem today.
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A
Well, okay, that was. I clicked the wrong link. Okay, yeah, but you're right. If somebody popped in the zoom and was like, lacey will be here shortly. Here's new link. Verify with your credit card info. Man, I missed an opportunity. I should have had somebody do that and be like, gary, we need you to verify with your credit card info that you're gonna be on Scam goddess.
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B
I ain't got no money, girl. You would have been upset. He was like, maybe he sent us the wrong card.
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A
Maybe we gotta send it an active credit card. One you're using when the balance is novel. Oh, my goodness. All right, guys, we're gonna take a break for some non scam advertisements. We'll be right back. Scams. And we're back. And it's time for historic hoodwinks. This is when we will regale Gary with a famous caper. Con artist, charlatan. Maybe it's a ring of people. We never know. We'll get his opinions throughout. Maybe we like the guy, maybe we don't. We'll see. So today we're talking about Monique Laurent. And he was the first famous. He was one third of the famous French cigarette pack scandal.
- [19:05]
B
Ooh.
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A
Okay, and this is in 1973 in France, a roulette dealer, along with his sister Monique and her husband, scammed a casino for 5 million francs, about a million dollars at the time. Using a Radio transmitter. Okay, wait. What you said on the radio, this was 1973. Now, you know we ain't getting on nobody's radio currently.
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B
This is what?
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A
Like, that's like. That's like 50 years. Oh, let me start doing maths. Yes, almost 50 years ago. It's like 47 years.
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B
So the sister was named Monique, and what. What was the brother name?
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A
The brother. So Monique, Leon. Wait, I don't know.
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B
Was the guy Monique or was the sister Monique?
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A
I don't know, actually, because it says Monique was one third of the famous French cigarette pack scandal. And then he was a. Wait, so there was a roulette dealer, then the sister Monique, and then her husband.
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B
This how they got away with this shit. Deception. Right from the beginning.
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A
Right. So Monique is the only person whose name is known. So we'll call the other characters Monique's husband and Monique's brother.
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B
Got it?
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A
So Monique is the. Okay, that was a lie. I was like, monique. They're all named Monique. Monique.
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B
I was, like, named Monique. He was definitely on some.
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A
I mean, his friends. Yeah, if you're a French dude named Monique, you're definitely on some. Some bullshit. And I love it for you. So in the summer of 1973, Monique's brother landed a job at a prestigious casino on the coast of France. He was employed copier, which is an employee of a gambling casino who collects pay beds and, like, assists with the gambling tables. Yeah. So, you know, like, when you go to, like, the craps tape. Wait, is it like when you go to the craft stable and they be giving out the crabs? Or is it like, the person who's in the little teller bin who, like, gives out the chips and the. It's got to be that person.
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B
I was thinking he was the person we just making up jobs for him. I was thinking he was the person that, like, stands in the middle of all the tables and be watching people as they put their best out.
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A
The hater. The haters there to give bad juju.
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B
Yo, and every time I put, like, if you put a hundred down, he walk over like, let me see your id. Okay.
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A
He sure do. And then he's stabbing in the table. Yo, let's talk about. We always talk about hater jobs on this show. That's another hater job. The casino who just walks around, ices the tables out, checks your money, slows your rolls down. I always hate it when I would be on a hot streak and then some asshole would come over because they hear us smiling. That's why I don't Laugh like when people be like, woo. When they win. I don't do that. You have to hear me smile. Cause I smile. Cover my face like, you ain't gonna know we winning over here.
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B
Yeah, they check like, you got a player card. Oh, so you coming in and taking our money and we not collecting your information.
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A
Hold on. Right? They're like, let's sign you up right now. No, I'm in the middle of a roll. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know. But let's sign you up right now. No word. Seven won't come. Seven won't come. He just saying it at the table.
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B
Time out.
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A
That's a good hater job.
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B
You know what, like, I think is the number one hater job, which has always driven me crazy. What? And I'm gonna expose myself here as a young pervert, but the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of the Victoria's Secret catalogs. Hater. Do you know as a child how I used to flip through those? Just. Just bruising, just perusing for some areola. Like, no.
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A
This is such a very specific gripe.
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B
You know what? You know, I can't be the only one. I cannot be the only one. Because, like, you know, when you're young, you're not getting. This was obviously before we all had all of the porn forever in our pocket. You know, we didn't have the Internet everywhere. So, like, you know, we had to get it where we could. And Victoria's Secrets catalog seemed like a easy place to, you know, get a little action. And.
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A
Oh, my God, Gary's, like, flipping through dress barn. Like, come on. One of these dresses they are getting can't all be moo moos. Come on, come on.
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B
Anyway, so, yeah, that's the biggest job. Yes, I'll give you that.
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A
I'll give you that. And this one, too. So, guys, if you want to get into some hater professions. Casino hater, the guy who walks around and ruins everybody's look. The one who comes over and is like, switch out mid roll. Like that guy. Big, big hater. Big hater Industry also maybe get into airbrushing to stop horny young boys from trying to see grown lady nips. We love it. So, you know, he's working in the casino. Part of his responsibility was to spin the wheel and make sure that the results were accurate. Most employees would have viewed this as just another job. The young man was more ambitious. He said, I'm starting at the wheel, but we gonna climb up. I don't know what's behind the wheel in this Kind of casino, but we gonna see. So whenever business was slow, Monique's brother would test the wheels to see if the outcome of a spin could be manipulated. He saw an opportunity, so he didn't have much luck. Right. He's not a hater. He's trying to get the cash.
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B
Okay.
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A
He's a manipulator. So he said he didn't have much luck with his experimentation, so he eventually asked his clever sister Monique for help. Monique had a. That was. I was trying to be French, but that sounded like Eastern European. I was like, for help. Alani is. Melania, is that you? So Monique had a delicate bone structure and a distinctive short hair. The brunette French woman turned heads wherever she went. So Monique was fine is what they trying to say.
- [24:45]
B
Yeah, she was French.
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A
Monique was a baddie. Right. French fine is actually very fine. UK fine. Not that fine. French fine, aggressively fine.
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B
French fine is like smoke cigarettes and you're still fine. And that's hard.
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A
Right? Cause that mean your breath gotta smell like cigarettes.
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B
Yeah, you stank a little bit. Your clothes stank a little bit. But we gonna deal with it.
- [25:11]
A
Listen, I'm still gonna kiss up on you. Cause you're fine. Oh, yeah. That's an aggressive amount of fine. You're right about that. So. So she was also noted as being highly intelligent. Monique was bored and eager for additional finances, so she was happy to help. Yeah, when you find you start getting bored because people just start giving you everything, and life be too good, you know, you got to bite into a lemon to feel something like, I understand. So Monique was aware of her brother's interest in technology, and she wondered if this might give them an advantage over the casino. She turned out to be right. And the duo discovered that a miniature radio transmitter was the answer all their problems. Okay, Monique, you was very smart and fine. Look at you. God bless you with two hands. Okay. Monique's brother built a radio transmitter inside a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. See, she was a smoker, just like you said, but she was fine. And a sculptor friend of the brother created a ball that looked identical to the roulette ball. Once a small receiver was embedded in the roulette ball, Whoever had the transmitter could cause the ball to fall and land on one of six numbers with a 90 degree of accuracy. That's pretty high. Damn. The cigarettes allowed Monique to blend in with the other casino patrons. And as this was the time when smoking indoors was commonly accepted around zclo. Yes, since Monique and her brother already had distinct duties, they needed a third Party to assist them. But it had to be someone they could trust. Luckily, Monique's husband was just as ambitious as his wife. I love it. I love a scammer family unit, you
- [26:49]
B
know what I mean? Yeah.
- [26:50]
A
Marrying to the family. Earn your keep as a husband and join me in my scams. Yes. So he agreed to join the team. Now that the group was complete, it was time to put their plan into motion. The first step of the plan involved Monique's brother working the roulette table. He would pocket the regulation roulette ball and replace it with the one containing the miniature radio receiver. Monique's husband would play at the wheel run by his brother in law. He would place wagers on each of the six possible winning numbers. Even though five of the wagers would be losers, the payout on the 6 would be large enough to cover the expenses of the bet. So yeah, that's a good plan right there.
- [27:26]
B
Honestly. You know what, that's how you play roulette. I feel like roulette is like the one game that, like, that's the one game everybody know how to play, you know, I mean, you just pick some numbers. You don't really have a strategy. You know, most people and so like, it just seems like, oh yeah, he put it on six numbers. He lucky. You know what I mean, right? He lucky.
- [27:42]
A
He lucky. Look at a little silly lucky roulette. See, that's why I don't play roulette. But let's first suckers, okay? I'm a craps person. I only play craps. I play for an hour. 15 minutes. Out of that hour, statistically, I'mma get hot. That's when I'm gonna make my rent money and dip the out. I don't play with poor people. I don't play with people who play the field. I don't play with people who look like they need the money. You start looking like you need it. I'm leaving the table. I like to play alone. And then when I get hot, people come over. See, I know too much about this. I have to stop talking.
- [28:10]
B
Yeah, it seems like somebody took you to the casino one too many times to blow on their dice and you took over.
- [28:17]
A
Listen, I have a pair of hollowed out dice that someone gifted me after I made them a bunch of money at a casino table. Like they were like, these are for you, sweetheart. This is like my fringe. Like I didn't realize. I'm super into this.
- [28:30]
B
I'm trying to gamble with you. Cause I'll be losing.
- [28:32]
A
You should, you should oh. Oh, well, then, no, you can't.
- [28:36]
B
Well, I play blackjack. I win at blackjack. I lose at everything else.
- [28:40]
A
Okay, so you're like, my mom. My mom was really good at blackjack, but I can't watch her play. Cause she's, like, betting so much money at once. And she's just chilling, and the money's just sitting there. And I'm like, she can do that. But me and my dad play craps, and we're really, really good at it. So, you know, hey, that's good. That's my thing.
- [28:56]
B
I feel like anything is better than slots. I got family members that will sit at slot machines until the sun goes up.
- [29:02]
A
Yeah, I'll never forget going to Atlantic City.
- [29:04]
B
Donate your money, Right?
- [29:07]
A
I'll never forget going to Atlantic City and just seeing a bunch of old people on oxygen machines sitting at the slots. I was like, I gotta get out of here. Oh, my God.
- [29:13]
B
That's my family.
- [29:16]
A
I will say, though, I like going to Vegas, either with my girlfriends who want to go to the club or with my family. Because if I go with my family, I know I can stay on the tables. I went with my improv team recently, and I loved it. It was super fun. But there was. They were like, lacey, you know, we were trying to leave the casino. Cause nobody was trying to gamble. But we were afraid to take you off the table. Because every time we walk by, you like, get out of here. Get out of here. I'm hot.
- [29:39]
B
I turned into a monster team. Ain't ready for the. Yeah, it's not ready.
- [29:44]
A
Get your ass out of here. Scrap, improv. Some shit to do over there. So I love this. I love this skim so much. Because I love crime and I love casinos, and they go hand in hand. So Monique would stand at a nearby table with her back to the accomplices. But she could just as easily turn to take enough business, like, do something, you know? So she could see when the wheel began to spin. So she'll always have a back turn, like, oh, I ain't paying attention to that. But then she, like, peek over, like, oh, it's going. Okay, okay, okay. Let me get transmitter ready. So she. She would activate the transmitter in her pack of cigarettes. They soon found that it worked like a charm so well that within a week, they were able to split a million dollars in winnings between them. Now, here's the thing. The casino is built with haters. So you start winning too much too often. They coming. They like, wait a minute. Somebody experiencing joy over here. Wait A minute I heard somebody smile. What happened? So getting caught. The owner of the casino was lusty Frenchman who had an eye for beautiful women. Ooh, a lusty Frenchman. He was Pepe Le Pew, and he was.
- [30:58]
B
They aren't all Frenchmen lusty.
- [31:02]
A
That's how they're portrayed in movies. I've never seen a movie where a French man was like, I'm celibate. No, they always trying to fuck.
- [31:09]
B
They are. I also have never met a Frenchman in real life, have I? I done met people from all over, and I ain't never met a Frenchman.
- [31:18]
A
I definitely had. Okay, I went to Paris, so I definitely had met some over there, but. Cause that's where they. That's where they reside. Where the Frenchman reside, by the way. That. Yeah, I went to the motherland, so. Oh, yeah. The fatherland. I went to the fatherland. That's funny. I haven't. I don't think I met one. No. Maybe. I think his name was Alex, and he was fine, and he was trying to. I didn't have enough time. I have so many regrets. Do you, Alex, wherever you are, call me. Do I? Yes. Oh, I have so many hookup regrets. I was trying to be classy for so long, and then, like, now I'm stuck in my house, and I'm like, why didn't I. Why didn't I bang that guy? Why didn't I bang that guy?
- [32:04]
B
What's the most you've ever done to try to, like, find a lost connection? A missed connection?
- [32:11]
A
Ooh, the most I've ever done to find a misconnection. I did search through someone's obituary, trying to see if I could get a last name.
- [32:24]
B
What?
- [32:27]
A
It was, like, somebody. Like, a distant relative's obituary. And I was trying to find the last name because it wasn't nowhere online. And I was like, maybe in one of these. Like, they'll be, like, survived by. And then I'll be like, oh, got it.
- [32:38]
B
They. They do say death is an aphrodisiac. Terrible time out. Which is also crazy because last night I was looking for the word nepotism, and it was running from me. And I ended up at the word necrophilia. And I was like, that's not it. Yeah. That's not it at all. It was.
- [32:55]
A
You should definitely not. You. You shouldn't switch those. Wait, where's. What's the furthest you've gone to try to find someone? I mean, obviously you're with someone now, but, like, back in the day.
- [33:05]
B
So back in the day like back, back in the Gap. When I was teenage boy, my parents, my family was big on cruises. And we went on a cruise, a three day.
- [33:16]
A
Mine too.
- [33:17]
B
And the cruises, you be like, hit or miss, you. You hit it off with somebody and it's gone just like that. And so I hit it off with this girl named Stefisha.
- [33:26]
A
And yes, Stephisha.
- [33:30]
B
When I got home, like the last day, we were supposed to meet up, and we never met up. So I was like, yeah, I never saw Stephisha again. And so when I got home, I knew where she was from. Red Flag Florida.
- [33:42]
A
And oh yeah, Stephisha's in Florida for sure.
- [33:45]
B
I called the radio station in Stephisha's area to see they would put out an apb.
- [33:56]
A
Put out, Put out.
- [33:59]
B
I need a citywide. Yeah. To let Stepisha know that Gary is looking for her.
- [34:06]
A
Oh, my God.
- [34:07]
B
And his screen,
- [34:10]
A
his screen name. You giving it an aim?
- [34:13]
B
Yeah, I was like, you have to hit me up on aim. You know, that's where we were at that time.
- [34:19]
A
Why did you exchange aims with Stephisha when you had the chance?
- [34:22]
B
We were so caught up in the moment, you know.
- [34:25]
A
Oh, my God.
- [34:26]
B
It was all supposed to be the last day we was kissing. We ain't do nothing more than kissing, though. Yeah, I was a little fast.
- [34:35]
A
Cause I was on cruises. I never saw nobody cute on a cruise. That's how I learned how to gamble, though. See, I was too busy in the casino. Smokey ass casino with my dad. Like, press me up, press me up. Press my fives.
- [34:47]
B
Yeah, I was either on the ping pong tables or in the club. The teen club.
- [34:52]
A
The Teen club. Oh, my goodness. See, you was at the teen club. You was looking to hook up on the cruise ship. I was just on international waters trying to get my gamble on. We had different priorities as children. I should have been more like Stephisha.
- [35:11]
B
Stephisha, yeah. She knew what she was doing.
- [35:13]
A
Clearly. But not enough that she got your number. Maybe she wanted that to be our special moment.
- [35:18]
B
Maybe that was her scam. Maybe she. Get out of here. She scammed. She got my love. She got me calling a radio station. She's sitting there with her friends, laughing. Listen to this clown.
- [35:29]
A
Wait, what did the radio station say to you?
- [35:32]
B
They ain't say nothing. I left a message. I ain't talk to nobody.
- [35:40]
A
I wish they would have done that for you. That would have been very sweet.
- [35:43]
B
Me too.
- [35:43]
A
So getting caught because obviously they're having too much fun. The owner of the casino was a lusty Frenchman with an eye for beautiful women. Like we said, he found it odd that such a pretty woman would always come to the casino alone, a bad bitch alone, and hardly ever play the games. Her pack of cigarettes and lack of smoking also drew his attention. Now, she knew she should have been sucking on at least one of them damn cigarettes. She was just in there pushing a button. Come on now, sis.
- [36:12]
B
She wasn't committed.
- [36:13]
A
And also, she's fine as hell. When you're that fine, people are staring at you, which means that they're looking at your habits and you're. I love that this guy was horny. But then he was like, wait a minute.
- [36:24]
B
His curiosity beat out. His horniness.
- [36:28]
A
His love of money was like, you ain't. You ain't find enough of that.
- [36:32]
B
He like, she still got a full pack of cigarettes.
- [36:34]
A
How could this be? She got a full pack of cigarettes. She ain't playing no games, and her back is just turned to everybody. She's facing the corner. What's happening? She got a nice ass, but what's happening?
- [36:48]
B
She's weird as hell.
- [36:49]
A
She just. She's a real weirdo. Oh, man. So he had approached her multiple times when she was using the cigarette pack as a signal transmitter. This put more pressure on her because she was still cool and composed and would continue to operate the device. So he came over to flirt, and she was, like, pushing on her Marlboro pack like it was a damn X game controller. Like, he was like, why you don't. Nervous tick. Nervous tick. You know, I just like to massage my cigarettes. It actually makes the tar looser. Yeah, you just gotta massage it. So obviously, after some time, the owner of the casino realized that Monique didn't have much interest in him. So he became suspicious of her. Sweet girl. I hate men. I hate men so much. You could have kept robbing this nigga for life. But since you didn't want to date him, he was like, now I gotta find out what's going on.
- [37:51]
B
That's it.
- [37:51]
A
So now I gotta investigate this bitch. It's like a cat caller who's like, hey, yo, ma. Yo, my green dress. Oh, you not gonna say nothing? You ugly anyway. It's like, I was cute 30 seconds ago. I was a yo green dress, and now I'm ugly. She went from a yo sexy.
- [38:08]
B
Life happens fast.
- [38:11]
A
She went from sexy cigarette girl to like. I can't even think of the word. Suspect number one. Like, damn, girl. So he asked, why was she always in the casino? Why was she always on her own? Why does she Sit next to the same roulette table, good questions. He realized that she always stood at the table adjacent to where the big wins were taking place. Dang. He was watching your asses, okay? No man should ever be able to watch you this much. And you don't notice. Like, you got to keep your head on the swivel when you. You a woman. You know how many crazy. That's the thing that sucks about being a woman is men stalking you, bothering you, trying to put you in a trunk and shit. You know how many crazy. It's not even crazy because it's rational things that I do on a daily basis as a woman just to keep myself safe. Like, when I walk to my car, I look in the back seat so make sure ain't nobody trying to choke a bitch when I get in the front seat. Then I get in. And then I lock my doors before I start driving. Because my auntie told me that if you keep your doors unlocked, somebody could open your door on the freeway and kick you out your car and take a.
- [39:18]
B
Who on the freeway is opening doors?
- [39:22]
A
I saw it one time on ABC 15 years ago, and it's stuck in LA.
- [39:28]
B
It's got to be in LA. You just sitting still on the freeway and somebody coming, pulling you out your car.
- [39:34]
A
Y' all lock your doors when you're in your car. People are bold. They might just open the door and kick you out. It be happening, I'm telling y'. All. Okay? So, yeah, you gotta do these things. So he realized that, you know, something's up. He was determined to discover her involvement in whatever was going on. A debugging crew was hired to come in and investigate. Not the debugging crew. Oh, damn. They ain't got the exterminators. But for crime, they did some evaluations while the games were in progress and sure enough discovered that the something was up.
- [40:13]
B
I love that he called his boys. Like when. When a girl suspect her man cheating and she called up her committee. Yeah, look, something fishy here. I need y' all to check him out. Do you do your work?
- [40:29]
A
Y' all go in there and do y' all thing. All right, tell me what's up with this, because clearly, if she doesn't want to date me, something must be terribly wrong.
- [40:35]
B
Oh, yeah, definitely.
- [40:40]
A
So like I was saying, the debugging crew pulled up his boys like you. You know, like you were saying, check out the situation. Accompanied by the police chief, the owner of the casino once again approached Monique. This time, he wasn't interested in flirting. He Said, you ain't that cute. Anyway, Monique. He walked up to Monique and asked for a cigarette.
- [41:03]
B
Ooh,
- [41:06]
A
clever. When she couldn't produce one, he had security confiscate the pack and search for anything suspicious. She didn't have not nary a cigarette in that package.
- [41:17]
B
What you think she said? What did you think? The first thing. Oh, these cigarettes.
- [41:21]
A
She's probably like, oh, no. Oh, no. This my last one. Empty. Now I just hold pack for comfort. Yeah, I'm actually quit smoking.
- [41:33]
B
I think you are Russian.
- [41:34]
A
Yeah. It's not. It's not giving French. Yeah, no, I'm not giving it. It's. Sorry. I'm sorry, guys. Y' all know I do terrible accents on the show. It's part of my job. So it only took a few seconds to discover the hidden transmitter, and she was immediately detained. I'm like, girl. So when y' all made a cigarette pack, y' all didn't think to put some cigarettes in it? Like, to maybe? No. And she should probably be smoking at least holding one. What? Also, y' all can't run this scam every day. Y' all run it every day.
- [42:06]
B
They got greedy. They did. That's. That's what happens. Happens to the best of us.
- [42:12]
A
So after catching Monique, it wasn't long before both her husband and brother were also arrested. Luckily, the French must have been more understanding about this kind of behavior, because none of the trio served any prison time. They did, however, have to return all the money. The story became a sensation in the European press, and the lovely Monique was elevated to the status of a minor celebrity at the time. Cause remember, she was still a baddie. See, when you're hot, you can do crime. And people will be like, ooh, yes,
- [42:41]
B
you could get away with murder, at least. Grand robbery, right?
- [42:47]
A
Grand larceny, for sure. Which brings me to which I don't think this man is hot. And y' all are gross. Ted Bundy. There's so many people out there who were like, but Ted Bundy was so cute. Like, I was like, no, it wasn't.
- [42:58]
B
There's something for everybody. He was real weird looking.
- [43:05]
A
Yeah, he looked like a murderer. He. Look, I thought if everybody was, like, point out a murderer, I'd be like, him for sure.
- [43:13]
B
Like the. So he was like, five foot two.
- [43:17]
A
Oh, yeah, right. He's. Was he fine, too, or was he 5:2?
- [43:21]
B
He was fine, too.
- [43:26]
A
That's what the girls thought. They thought he was fine, too. Yes. That's a very deep cut joke for
- [43:32]
B
all you Floyd fans out there.
- [43:34]
A
Not for everybody but those who know you'll appreciate. So despite her sneaky nature, the French public still seemed to admire her for her beauty and ingenuity. She was dubbed La Belle Velu, which translates in English to the beautiful thief. Mm. She steal your heart and your wallet. And real hot girl Shit. Was Monique the first city girl?
- [44:03]
B
Hilarious.
- [44:07]
A
All these niggas wanna fuck Monique. They do, yes. We love to see it. All right, guys, that brings us to the saddest part of the episode. The last segment where I have to let Carrie go. But not before some non scam advertisements, robbery and fraud. And we're back, and it's time for Scammer of the week. This is when we will honor a charlatan who is worthy of our praise or condemn somebody we hate. Today, I think we're gonna be on the condemnation side. So today we're talking about Mark Aguirre, a former Houston police captain who was arrested after allegedly running a man off the road and threaten him as a part of an elaborate attempt to find evidence for a false conspiracy theory of widespread voter fraud. So this is back in the day. Remember a long time ago when Trump was, like, trying to be president? So funny now that it's over. Remember stop the steal? Funny.
- [45:11]
B
It was scary for me.
- [45:12]
A
Funny at the time. It was real touch and go there. I was not ready for the race war. I was like, bitch, I'll be on the corner hand and I'll come kombucha and tourniquets. I can't be fighting in the race war.
- [45:24]
B
I said, yeah. I was worried. It was like, Y2 KKK. Everything's about to shut down. It's over, right?
- [45:35]
A
The Internet go shut down the races. They gonna win. Oh, God. It was a scary time. I really was trying to prepare. I was like, will people come in here when they storm places? Or, like, am I good? I was like. I was like, is my crib stormable? I don't.
- [45:49]
B
I was buying weapons I ain't know what to do with.
- [45:53]
A
Yeah, give me five head grenades.
- [45:55]
B
I just got random weapons.
- [45:58]
A
I got a crossbow. I look like I'm about to be in the Hunger Games.
- [46:01]
B
I'm like a GTA character. Just random weapons in my basement, just selecting stuff when I leave the house.
- [46:08]
A
I got one of those sticks with the chain and the spiky ball.
- [46:12]
B
Yeah. The real apocalypse bat.
- [46:16]
A
I got the apocalypse bat. Okay, a machete. Whatever. Whatever we gonna do, I'm gonna do it. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, it was a rough time. So Mark was adding to our rough Time he was working on behalf of powerful Republican mega donors to investigate unsubstantiated claims of widespread voter fraud. In October, he allegedly pulled a gun on a man described by the attorney's office as an innocent and ordinary air conditioned repair man. Now this man is just trying to do cooling and heating and maybe some H Vac. Are you over here bothering him? That ain't right.
- [46:50]
B
You sound like a homeowner over there talking about H Vac.
- [46:54]
A
No, I've just seen a lot of commercials. What was that one? Stanley Steamer. Keep your carpet cleaner? Yes, Stanley sponsored the show. Y' all still cleaning carpets and all?
- [47:08]
B
Yeah, I was about to say I just had my carpets cleaned. And that sounds so dirty.
- [47:14]
A
Stanley Steamer.
- [47:15]
B
No, haven't you? Stanley Steamer and getting your carpets cleaned.
- [47:19]
A
Oh, yeah, it can sound a little clean. Plus there's like the Cleveland. We're not gonna get in that. Y' all know where I was going and I'm not gonna go there. So they done pulled a gun on the H Vac. Man, that ain't right. Prosecutors say Mark's election fraud claims were baseless and that he was paid 200,000. So $266,400. Oh, they got specific. Why 400 extra? Why 266? Why not 3? Why not 300,000? I don't know. By the group Liberty center for God and country, whose CEO is a prominent Texas right wing activist, Stephen Haughtz. Stephen was a part of a group of Republicans who unsuccessfully sued to have nearly 127,000 votes tossed. Duh. Okay, Mark. Mark ran his black SUV into the back of a technician's truck to get the man to stop and get, according to the court document describing probable cause for the charge of like aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. So he ran this man off the road. And this man is just trying to get these, you know, H Vac. He's just trying to get the cooling and the heating. That's all he's trying to do. And he ran him off the road and put a gun to his head. Why him? I don't understand.
- [48:28]
B
Damn. Yeah. That's crazy.
- [48:29]
A
Okay, so one of the other people that Mark was with allegedly stole the technician's vehicle. After searching it, Police later found the abandoned truck a few blocks away. Mark surveilled the air conditioned technician. Wait, he surveilled him for days? Why? He told authorities he believed the technician was behind huge voter fraud scheme in the Houston area. So you know what this gives?
- [48:49]
B
No, I don't. I'm very confused. As to why he harassed his air conditioning man. He just got road rage and decided to abuse the Roto Rooter. The Roto Rooter was who caused all of the election losses. That. That's what we're dealing with.
- [49:08]
A
It was Stanley Steamer. He's steaming the ballots. I think that. So this man, this police officer, Chief Rather, got paid an exorbitant amount of money to basically discover voter fraud. Perhaps he's not very smart or very good at discovering voter fraud. So he was like, well, I gotta give him something.
- [49:28]
B
Yeah.
- [49:29]
A
He's like, I gotta give the girl something. Otherwise they're gonna want these coins back. So he was just like. Like, I don't know. This repair man, he did it. He got a big enough truck to steal votes in. That adds up that.
- [49:42]
B
That. That repair man must have been laying pipe somewhere else.
- [49:48]
A
Lord Jesus, it's truly tragic. So, obviously, there were no ballots in the truck. It was filled with air conditioning parts and tools.
- [49:57]
B
Duh.
- [49:59]
A
Oh, my goodness. And so Mark thought that as many as 750,000 dol. Ballots were in this man's possession, but it turns out his truck was just full of what, air conditioning parts. I don't know. It feels like Mark was trying to run a scam himself. Like, he was like, oh, I got all this money. I don't actually know how to investigate shit. I just got police chief. Cause I drink the most beers one night, and now I gotta do espionage.
- [50:26]
B
Yeah. He was like, I'm gonna make a scene, and then I'm gonna walk away. And then that scene stuck with his ass.
- [50:33]
A
Yeah. He thought he could run this poor man off the road and be like, he got the ballots. And then they were like, he don't. They're like, all right, false alarm. Sorry I put that gun to your head. Anyway, I did my job.
- [50:43]
B
Republicans didn't think y' all was really going to follow up on that.
- [50:48]
A
He was like, I'm the police chief. So I kind of just, like, filed it away myself. I approved it for me. I proved myself doing that. No, that's not. I gave myself a tip.
- [50:58]
B
Tip.
- [50:58]
A
And then I went and followed that tip.
- [51:01]
B
What's. What's Internal Affairs? Huh?
- [51:06]
A
Oh, we got that. We got Internal Affairs. I didn't even know we had that. I thought it was just me, and I investigated myself, and everything was on up and up. Oh, man, this is sad and scary. But now that this time, at least this specific time is over, I can laugh at this. Mark, you're trash. It doesn't say here what he was arrested, so I don't know if he's been charged, but he was arrested, so at least we got that itty bitty piece of justice. I wonder if he's gonna have to give that money back.
- [51:37]
B
He better. But I hope he don't give the money back like the French woman and they end up with a dope name like labelle. Yeah, The cool chief. You know what I mean,
- [51:54]
A
right? A.C. chief. I was trying to do A.C. slater. It didn't work. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't think he's gonna end up with a poppin name, but this was the dumbest. This is so stupid. He's an idiot. But I hope that he doesn't get to keep the money. That's my only prayer. But, guys, we've reached the end of the show. Gary, we always ask our guests, where do you want to be found?
- [52:18]
B
Me on Instagram.
- [52:20]
A
Okay. That's where you want to be found.
- [52:21]
B
What's your handle, G. Gary Curtis. Gary Curtis. Funny. I forgot it for a second. I changed it. You know, I went through a diddy phase. I changed my name and now Gary Kurt is funny.
- [52:33]
A
You was G Kurt or something?
- [52:34]
B
Yeah, I was G Kurt before I was G. Kurt.
- [52:36]
A
Oh, you were? Yeah. Yeah.
- [52:38]
B
And then I grew up. I knew and now I'm full name Gary Curtis. Funny.
- [52:42]
A
See, I'm never gonna grow up. I'm gonna be Diva Lacey forever. Guys, as always. D I V A L A C I. Diva Lacey on all platforms. If you want to find the show. Scam got his pod. Let's get to 10,000 followers, y', all, so I can put swipe ups on that page. We're so close again. Diva Lacey on Clubhouse. If y' all want to do some mess, let me know. And then Scam got his pod@gmail.com. snitch on your friends and family. Scam got spot on all platforms. All right, Congregation Le Vu de Lischeme. That means stay scheming. Don't look it up. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess is starring me. Duh. Scam Goddess, AKA Lazy Mosley. Scam Goddess is produced by Chelsea Jacobson and engineered by Marina Baiz with research by Sherlyn Vera. Stay.