Melanie Hempe (3:50)

Think back, and I know I'm kind of putting you on the spot. I don't mean to, but think back on those Christmases in middle school because I. I feel like that you really thought you were going to get a smartphone.

Evan (4:04)

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, talk about that. I. I thought. And I, like, I had it all, like, made of. Oh, I know when I. When I get my smartphone, I'm going to do this, that, and the other, and I'm gonna have, like, so many friends. And. And then the things that I end up getting actually led to, like, better friends when. When I would, like, mom and dad would always give us something to do outside or something, or we would get. We like, we got street hockey one year and it just led to going outside and playing with friends where if I had gotten a smartphone, I would have just been inside and just not outside and making actual friends. So it was just kind of like, oh, I didn't get a smartphone. But then, hey, this is actually really cool. Like, I'm gonna enjoy this heck of a lot more and get a lot more out of this than I ever would a smartphone and learn better skills and.

Melanie Hempe (4:49)

But on Christmas Day, when you got up and opened presents, it wasn't like you went in the corner and we were mad.

Evan (4:55)

No. I mean, well, no. Yeah, of course not. And it was the way it was, and I kind of came to my senses, like, this is pretty cool. The other stuff that I'm getting, and I don't. I don't need kind of a smartphone to fulfill all that. And I mean, there's. There was a little disappointment.

Melanie Hempe (5:12)

Yeah.

Evan (5:12)

You know, everyone. Like, a lot of other people were. But it wasn't like, earth shattering, like, oh, no, how am I gonna move on? I don't have a smartphone. I'm not going back to school in January. I'm like, I don't want to show my face because I didn't get a smartphone.

Melanie Hempe (5:26)

Yeah, it was.

Evan (5:26)

I mean, it's just. I mean, really, it's just not a big deal. You realize there are other things in life that are so much more important, other ways you can just be so much of a better person and just in the way you interact with others and just. I used to get it all the time of so. Or adults would be like, oh, how can you talk to adults? And how can you do this, that and the other. Well, because I didn't grow up with a smartphone. I didn't grow anything. There was. I mean, I. You just learned to talk to adults. You just. It just happened. And so once I started getting around 8th grade, 9th grade, people started to kind of respect the fact that, you know, you didn't have. You didn't have a smartphone. And then really, that whole want of a smartphone just completely went away. I mean, it just was like, okay, this is the way things are. I don't have a smartphone. I'm gonna embrace that. And I'm gonna. And I'm gonna. This is part of who kind of I am. And then people kind of learn to respect that. So.

Melanie Hempe (6:15)

So don't you think this is. This is kind of an interesting point that you're making that what as a parent you see in middle school with kids just begging and begging and it's the end of the world if they don't get this stuff. By the time they get to, like, 9th or 10th grade, it. It really changes because.

Evan (6:32)

Yeah. I mean, in middle school, everyone kind of wants to be like everyone else. And if you're different, you're made fun of a little bit. And I feel like that's just, that's just human nature. But then in high school it's cool to be different. Oh, well, what's, why, why is that person popular? Well, because they're not like everyone else, I feel like. And because they do, because they're funny or they're athletically gifted or something. Because there's something about them that's different or they're, they're fun to talk to. And I think it's really hard to see as a middle schooler. Oh well, how, how is this gonna, like, how am I gonna be popular or whatever? Even with, without this. It's just the concept, you can't really process it because the only thing you're focusing on then is being like everyone else. And quite frankly, I like, I feel like being like everyone else would just kind of be gonna be boring. There's nothing special about you.

Melanie Hempe (7:21)

But when you were in middle school

Evan (7:23)

you felt that same thing be, I mean just you look around you just. I want, I want to be like that because I think that was popular. But I never, but then I, I never took the time to realize that I had made, I had had no trouble making friends and I had no trouble of just interacting with others at school. I just, it was never like I was bullied or ostracized for not having my phone. I mean there were comments here and there, but it was just like, there's just, that's everybody in middle school. So I think for parents of first time, like for first kids going through middle school, I don't think there's any need to fret about the kid getting made fun of for not having a smartphone because the kid will get made fun of either way. You give him a smartphone, he'll get made. I mean they just, they just will.

Melanie Hempe (8:07)

Yeah, mean. They're mean.

Evan (8:09)

They're mean. Every, everyone's trying to figure themselves out. They're all just trying to, they, they, they think they have an idea of what they want to be and they just really don't.

Melanie Hempe (8:18)

No, they can't yet. They're not there yet. So, so let's, let's get back to our little discussion here about gifts. So if you're not going to give a smartphone and, and I would like to just say that smartphones in general should never be gifted. If you feel the need to get your kid even like a gab phone or a non tech phone, I mean a talk text phone like the wise phone or something, even if you're going to get them that it should not be at Christmas. It should not be at a birthday. It should not be a gift. It is a. It is a tool. It is not something that is a toy. So gifts are usually toys when you're kids, and phones are not toys. We want to keep in mind that as parents, we want to give things that we value that line up with our family values. We don't want to give things that potentially can hurt our kids. We don't want to give things that will make our kids think less of us and trust us less. We don't want to give our kids things that are going to really allow them to give into this cultural pressure and go down roads that, you know, we don't want them to go, and we don't want to give them gifts that we're going to have to take away. So, you know, this happens a lot with the parents that I talk to, and I talk to lots of parents and lots of emails and lots of people calling me. And what happens is they get pressured at Christmas to give the phone, and then by February, everyone is taking away the phone because of all the horrible things that have been happening on the phone. And maybe they had their kid, like, sitting sign a contract, and that's a whole nother thing that we. We might bring Evan back in at a point to talk about why kids can't sign contracts about phones. But by February, by Valentine's Day, all those phones are being confiscated. So just think about, in terms of gift giving for Christmas that you don't want to give, things that you have to take away, you don't want to give, things that you don't value, talking

Evan (10:07)

about things that don't have a lot of value. Before we get going on the gift ideas, I just wanted to say something about video games as well.

Melanie Hempe (10:14)

Sure, that's a great idea.

Evan (10:15)

Video games, they actually make terrible Christmas gifts because, well, they keep you inside. You're gonna sneak off to your room and play and miss everything and just be kind of holed up upstairs or downstairs or whatever, most likely in the dark, most likely eating crap and just, you know, just playing video games. And you don't gain really anything from that. They keep your. They keep your kids from moving. Like, you're just sitting there. You don't feel productive, really. You're not doing anything. You're not getting outside. You're not sweating. Like, what I like to say is, you know, sweating is good. So, you know, it keeps your kids from sweating. They keep you from enjoying your other gifts. Like, the video games are designed In a way to be super entertaining, but they're just not fulfilling. So you're going to think that the instant gratification is just much better than what you're going to get from your other gifts. But the video games are just going to take away all your time, and in your head you're going to think that it's better when it's in reality. It's really not. They make your kids melt down when you take it away. When. If you give them the video games and they end up playing and playing and playing and playing. It's really hard for anyone to get rid of something that quick. And so giving it to them in the first place just creates an opportunity where they're going to melt down, they're going to be a mess. It's going to just be. Just going to make the holidays just kind of awkward because it's like, I don't know, your kids screaming and stuff like that. And it's just, it's just not as enjoyable where if you didn't have the video game, then you know, the kid would be have, you know, the kid would be enjoying family and doing things with everything. Everybody else, they make your kids boring. Like, no one really cares. Okay, you're really good at, you're good at video games. So what, like what, what do you have to show for? Like what, what can you do? What can I do with you besides play video games? It's like Christmas break. Everyone's off school. If you have anyone near, near you in, in the, in the neighborhood or something, I mean, man, you just get outside, man, you go do things, you go see movies, you play games together. You don't want it. Like board games, that is, you don't want to play video. Like video games. You can do that anytime. Like, it's not special. It doesn't make the holidays special. There's not things that you're doing in video games that you wouldn't normally be doing just because it's the holiday season. So they make your kids kind of boring. The kids go into a little like mini addiction because, I mean, they have all this time in their hands. Most likely they don't have homework over break. So all they're going to do if you give them this video game is that's they're just, they're just going to play. There's going to play and they're going to play and they're going to play and then they're getting hooked. Because that's why they're designed. That's why I mean, anyone who plays video games like that and it's going to get hooked because they're designed to be fun. But there are so many things to enjoy about Christmas and just giving them the video games to kind of hold up and zone out, it's just not the best way to spend the holidays. So just encouragement to resist the urge to give into video games and smartphones because they just take away so much from life and just the holidays specifically.

Melanie Hempe (13:06)

I am so glad that you, you brought that up about video games. So whenever we're talking today about all this stuff, you know, when we say smartphones, we, we mean video games as well. So let's talk about some ideas because the practical ideas is what Screenstrong is all about. We're always trying to help parents figure it out. You know, you hear all these wonderful things and then it's like practically what do you do? Okay, if I don't give my kid a smartphone because that's the only thing they want, maybe it's the only thing on their Christmas list, then what do I do instead? And so we have a great ebook on our website and it is a gift guide. It's a non tech gift guide. So we're just going to run through some of the ideas here. And the way this book is organized, it's in categories. This is a wonderful way to think about your gift giving for your kids. Think in terms of certain categories instead of just randomly trying to think of the most popular toys out there. And so we're going to go through this. There's 12 categories. We're going to go through this pretty quickly. And I'm so happy that Evan is going to jump in because he's going to have a lot to say about some of these things. So the first category that we have is the gift of art. And I'm not an artist necessarily, but once I started becoming more screen strong and understanding how we have to purposely bring art into our kids lives in order to provide just all kinds of creative opportunities for them. Then I started getting into art and Evan. Talk a minute just about your experience with art growing up because this was different than older brother from Adam. We didn't do this stuff with Adam, but with you and Andrew we thought, hey, we're going to be a little more deliberate about art. And y' all took some art classes.

Evan (14:44)

Yeah, we would once a week we would go on Tuesday nights to this little art studio in town where these, this older couple, they would run it and they have all the clay and the paint and Stuff like that. And at first it's kind of like, oh, I don't want to be here. But then you realize that art is actually cool and getting your hands on the clay and, you know, just kind of, well, what do you want to make? Well, I want to. I like this kind of animal, so that's okay. Then they teach you how to make this kind of animal and just learning those skills with the hands on learning. And you don't have to be the best. I mean, heck no. Like, no. No one's gonna be just perfect their first time. The way you get better and the way you just start to really produce more impressive products is just by doing it. You can't just write off the fact, oh, well, I'm not artsy or my kid's not artsy, so we're just not gonna do that. That. What? That doesn't make any sense. You don't know. If they're not artsy, why don't you give them a chance to try and to see if they're really interested in this, then they'll want to do it. They'll want to come back and. Because it's cool. If someone's really good at art, they get a lot of. They get respect. Like, oh, wow, that's incredible. You painted that. Wow, that is. That is an incredible talent. And it's. It's really fulfilling seeing your work at the end of it after all that went through, you know, trying to make it, maybe something went wrong and you had to fix it. You kind of had that problem solving. It's just really, really good for learning skills like that. And it's, It's. It's quite satisfying when you make a good product. You're like, yeah, I made that. You know, it's. It's good. That's. That's what you're. It's supposed. You're supposed to do that. It's not gloating. You're just, you know, you're proud of your work and, and you're definitely. Your mom will be proud of your work because you could make the worst thing in the world, and your mom will think that's incredible. So you're a middle schooler kid listening at home, just. You could make a ball of clay and bring it home, and your mom would be like, oh, honey, that's so sweet. And you're like, okay. So you always have. You always have one member of their fan club. So there you go.

Melanie Hempe (16:34)

Evan's talking about the White Rock Studio with Joe and Linda Edwards, and we just Love them. And they have become kind of a part of our family in a way. I. We. They're just a part of our village over here. And I love what you just said, that you didn't like it right at first. That is so funny because I remember that now. But at first, you know, you said you weren't going to go. And what did I do? I just smiled and said, yeah, you are. And we didn't argue. We just went and they were so fun. Joe and Linda are just so awesome. And so Evan is right. They were able to make a lot of things and bring them home. And we have them, like, all over our house now. And things that, you know, skills and gifts that they can still continue to use the whole rest of their life. And with Adam, with our oldest, you know, he mentioned to me one day how he didn't have anything to bring home with his video game. Nothing. He. He had nothing to build and put on the dining room table, you know, for us to all enjoy. And so with this gift of art, the things that you can look for are art lessons. Although your kids may kind of frown at that if they open that up in their stocking or something. But you can get them different kind of molding clay. You can get them markers, glitter glue, all kinds of drawing stuff. You can get them paints, canvases, watercolors, wood burning tools, origami. Origami is a really good thing to do. Of course, scrapbooking supplies, all of the different art supplies that are just so easy to find. And what I also realized is that you have to have them out in easy view. Like, you can't take all your art supplies and go hide them in your house. You have to have them out on the kitchen table, different things for them. They just pick up and do it. The lightboard was really good. We had a light board. And they could trace things, and then they could paint and sidewalk chalk. Even when you have really little kids, you know, just drawing in general is really, really, really helpful, and it's very good for your brain development. So the next category is music, and under the music gift ideas. First of all, I just want to say there's so many mental advantages to having music in your life and teaching your kids about music early on, it makes them smarter. It stimulates parts of their brain related to reading, math, and emotional development. It improves their memory. Certain brain patterns grow, memory connections that are strengthened when your child is exposed to music, especially when they are playing music. It develops confidence, it develops patience, a sense of accomplishment, strengthens their Confidence in other areas of their life as well. And, of course, the discipline it takes to learn something is very, very good for future areas and times in their life when they're going to need that patience and that frustration tolerance to be really strong. But I want Evan to talk about how music is relaxing and just how it satisfies that void and that need for downtime and that need to unwind. So just talk about that a minute and why music was important in your life.

Evan (19:29)

Yeah, music was one of those things that growing up was always kind of the battle like, oh, I don't want to do it. I don't want. It's not cool. It's boring. You know, this, that, and the other. But it's kind of interesting because music is one of those things where I feel like we all love to listen to it. Like, there's. I very rarely meet a person that's like, oh, yeah, I'm not a big music guy. What? Like, really? I feel like everyone. That's why. That's why Spotify and all these streams, that's such a big industry. Because people love music.

Melanie Hempe (19:58)

Because.

Evan (19:58)

Because it's really cool. It's just a cool thing that we as humans get to enjoy that, you know, all the other species don't. But, yeah, music is one of those things where it's. It's endless. It really. It really is. You. You're never. You're never at the top of the mountain. There's always something that you could get better at in music. And it's another one of those things where I feel like people write it off easily. Oh, I'm just not musical or my kids aren't musical or whatever. But everyone sings in the shower. Everyone, like, everyone sings in the car. So giving them lessons to get better, you don't know if they're not going to be good. And I think it's a. It's a nurture thing. Neither of my parents. I love you, mom, but none of my parents did music growing up. And. And then I just grew up doing lessons and stuff, and people considered me to be musical, but it's not. It's not natural. It's not, oh, well, it's just not in our genes. No, it's because I. I work through the tough years and the kind of. The getting your. Getting your feet on the ground, and then once you really start to play things that you like to enjoy, it's. It's. It's really incredible. Playing that song that you really like is just. It's. It's very it's very satisfying. It's like art. It's like bringing that thing home on the dining room table. You have something to show for. And you know, when you're with your friends, hey, look. Look at this song you can play. Oh, I like that song too. Another thing is when you get older, if you both play, if. If there's you and. And a friend and other people that play music, man, that's a special bond with, With. With your bandmates. And if you. If you have a friend that enjoys the same music as you and you can get together and play, there's nothing like it. I mean, it's really, really, really cool. It's really fun.

Melanie Hempe (21:35)

It's a great social.

Evan (21:37)

It really. It really is. And everyone. It's. It's. If you get one. One person with a guitar and everyone's singing, I mean, that's really fun. It's. It's fun to do. It's. You don't have to be the best at it. It's. It's. It's just a lot of fun. It's really fulfilling. It also just helps with kind of your brain thing and. Or your. Whatever. Mom knows more about that than I do. But it also cures boredom. If you're ever bored and wanting to do something, go. Go sit down at the piano. Go pick up the guitar. Go. Like, there's so many resources out there. YouTube and just tab like that where you can learn just by. By watching and just by really just practicing that. And there's so many songs out there that you can learn how to play. And it's just. It really. It really is endless. And that's. That's really cool about it. You're never like, oh, I've maxed out a music. You know, I've learned everything. No, you haven't. Like, no one has learned everything. No one in the world has. Can play everything. So it's just one of those things that I found to be really fun. But.

Melanie Hempe (22:35)

And for. And for Christmas gifts, it's endless, really, too, because, like, you know, you can get all sorts of instruments for Christmas. So of course you want to get lessons. And again, your kids may be like, you know, I don't. I don't want lessons in my stocking, but you can get them all sorts of musical instruments and talk about, just for a minute, Evan, our transition over to a digital piano because we had a regular piano. And then. And for a lot of parents, they just. They can't fit in their house. They're too heavy. They can't Tune them. And so they're like, well, I, I don't think we can do piano. But, but I, I personally believe that piano is the music instrument of choice. Especially in the beginning, of course we did violin and that, that was really helpful. But talk about your digital piano.

Evan (23:23)

Yeah, I think, I think piano and guitar, those are two things that everyone needs to have in their house. Even if you don't play, it's just something for other people to go over to your house and play and you kind of have fun with that. Yeah. Digital piano is, they make them so nice now where it sounds just like a hundred thousand dollar grand piano except you don't have to tune it. It doesn't take up the space, it doesn't weigh as much and it, it's convenient and you can control the volume so it doesn't have to be just super loud all the time. It, it really is cool. You can play. You have all these different sounds on it. So you can experiment maybe. I like this sound. You can record on it so you can, you know, play and then play it back like okay, how do I sound here? There's just so many things you can do and it's so compact and it's, they make them really affordable now. They're a lot cheaper than most of the uprights. You don't, it doesn't take all the extensive moving in and out. It's just, it's really, really a cool option. So we've had one for a few years but that it's just worked great. It's. I've played that thing over and over and over and over and over again.

Melanie Hempe (24:27)

And I would recommend that you don't start with a cheapy, cheapy keyboard. I would say for this category that you get the most, that you can get the most expensive one that you can afford. And because a lot of times the little cheap keyboards really discourage kids because the weight is not right on the

Evan (24:47)

keys and play a lot of wrong notes. Yeah.

Melanie Hempe (24:50)

And so just get the best one that you can afford. And if you have any more questions about that, you can certainly contact us. We have a lot of information, information on that. But other real quick to wrap up music guitars like Evan said to have a guitar and again don't get, get a cheapy one. You know, try to get one that is substantial enough. I hear parents say all the time, well I want to get a real cheap one and then see if they like it. And like no, no, no, no, no. You have to get not the best instrument, but you have to Get a good instrument, otherwise they're not going to like it. And don't go into it with the idea that they're not going to like it. They're going to like it. You're. You can't go into it, you know, with that idea. But the other things that you can get is just small portable speakers. That was a really good gift in our home. You know, headphones, even the vintage record players, any kind of music accessory, music, books of popular songs, you know, that they can play on the piano and all that. So. And I remember, just as we're talking about this, that I remember y' all had a little garage band in, in middle school. And I thought that was really fun to bring up with it because that was a really social thing.

Evan (25:49)

Yeah, we would get, we would get together at the, when the house and we played for the talent show and we weren't good, but it was so much fun. Those hangouts. We would get together, play music. And it was just that.

Melanie Hempe (25:59)

Yeah, that was so it's such a good social thing. So the next category is sports and coordination and gifts around recreation. And so free play is super important. So not just the gift of, you know, organized sports, which most kids don't see that as a gift. They see older parents just pay for their sports and that whatever. But we're talking about things that are, that you can give your kids that fit in this category that I want you to think about as far as practical things that can get them playing outside, get them playing some kind of sports. And so the, the list here is huge. So we have things like basketball hoops and soccer balls and baseballs, Nerf footballs, wiffle balls, handballs, tennis balls, golf balls, ping pong balls. I mean there's just four square ball. You know, there's so many things. One of my mom friends early on when I had boys, she. Boys should get a different ball every single Christmas. And so we usually try to do that, but you want to get them things like helmets and tickets, even like to a trampoline park. You know, we, we love our trampoline. Actually. We do have a net around it and all that. Some families don't want to get trampolines, but I think that trampoline was a wonderful gift. All kinds of things for their bike, A small ping pong table or a big one if you have room for it.

Evan (27:15)

You really don't have to have. You have it be organized, you know, just get a ball, just go out there, just play, just be outside, be in the outdoors. You Know, it's okay to fall down and scrape your knee and stuff like that. They make, that makes you, that makes you tougher that you. I don't know, just from my experience, it's. We don't need to be afraid of letting them go outside and kind of being wild and getting into some trouble. But. No, I mean, I know things, but

Melanie Hempe (27:40)

things like long boards, you know, parents are like, well, I don't want my kids to get hurt on that. So they don't get them that we say go for it.

Evan (27:47)

Well, you wear a helmet and you'll be just fine.

Melanie Hempe (27:49)

Yeah. So we've got archery. We've got even just a basic jump rope.

Evan (27:52)

Yeah. Jump rope. That with fitness and. Yeah, very. There are a lot of people who can't jump rope and it's, it's interesting, but that helps with coordination and overall, just fitness and cardio and stuff like that. Gym memberships and any, Anything like that. Yeah, is, is, is really good. I mean, everyone, that's. It's a huge thing as you get older, especially guys, you know, high school, college, just working out. It's. It's, it's, it's fulfilling. It's one of those things where you can see your, you can see your gains, you know, whether it's in the. The actual size of your arms and legs or it's in just the, the amount of weight that you're putting up. Yeah, it's just thing you can, you can make good friends at the gym. You know, you can. Working out with people is. Is really cool. And so. Yeah, you kind of have that aspect of it too.

Melanie Hempe (28:36)

But even getting away. Bench. For the basement.

Evan (28:39)

For the basement.

Melanie Hempe (28:39)

Yeah.

Evan (28:40)

Getting a little set up and then you can. Yeah, just. Yeah, that's every day. You know, sweat. Sweating's good.

Melanie Hempe (28:46)

Sweating is good.

Evan (28:46)

Sweating is good.

Melanie Hempe (28:47)

Yeah. Remember that. So we're not talking about just organized sports. We're talking about anything that can help your kid be more coordinated. And again, we have this list in our little ebook on our site. So the fourth thing is creativity and imagination. The gift of creativity and imagination. And these are things like hobbies. I think hobbies are just so wonderful for us to instill good hobbies and not just habits, but hobbies in our kids. And so a lot of parents don't understand that hobbies have to be introduced. They think their kid is just going to, you know, grow up wanting to do certain things. Well, some kids do, but a lot of times we have to kind of stir the pot and we have to put things in front of them. And so hobbies are really good for goal setting, for just relaxing, play, problem solving. They lead to unlimited life experiences and really innovation, social opportunities and independence. And think about all the social opportunities that are available around certain hobbies. When you are really into a hobby like baseball cards, then all of a sudden you have something to talk about when you are with another kid who likes to collect baseball cards. And it opens up this whole kind of, you know, thing for that. So let's talk about a little bit about some hobbies. You collect baseball cards. Is there anything else that you would

Evan (30:03)

consider

Melanie Hempe (30:05)

sort of a hobby? I mean, you do so many different things. I guess your music is a hobby.

Evan (30:09)

Yeah, that's mainly. But like even fishing supplies, there's so much you can get into that world. There's so many, so many things, so many kind of different styles. And fishing is a really social thing too. You know, grab a buddy, hey, let's go out and fish and you can talk and kind of relax and hey, let's go do this pond and this pond and that pond and the other. And that's, you know, you catching fish. That's, there's, there's really nothing like it. When you got a, when you got a fish on the line, it's a good feeling because your, your patience is paying off. That teaches, it's a good skill. It teaches patience because it's not just instant gratification. You're just going to throw your line in the water and just right, automatically get a fish. So for younger kids, I think, I think everyone should learn how to fish, especially if you have a nearby pond. Just, you know, just go out there, heck, start with worms, you know, throw them out there and then get into all the fancy baits and stuff like that and all the, all the nice equipment and learning the different kinds of fishing. But yeah, that's, that's a very important thing and that's a very cool hobby that I know several guys at school that are really into it and they're just a lot of fun to go fishing with and just kind of talk about with that.

Melanie Hempe (31:09)

But yeah, other hobbies are things like cooking. So you know, if you have son or daughter who is interested in that a little bit, get them some cooking supplies, get them set up with that kind of a hobby. I love that hobby. I mean, right now we're starting our, our sourdough bread starter again. So I have bread rising in the oven and it's just such a fun hobby to learn more about that. Other things are of Course, photogr. You can get your kids a real camera. It doesn't have to be. I mean, it can be digital, but can be a slr, a DSLR camera where they can actually learn how to do the F stop and all that. Where it's not just like from their phone. Photography is really good. Collecting coins, of course we said baseball cards, things like train sets, you know, that's a really good hobby. Model airplanes, all that kind of stuff is really good. Sewing is good, knitting, all that talk about Legos a minute. Because your brother just loves Legos. And I know a lot of, A lot of people kind of see that as a hobby of like they have a Lego club, even tools and, you know, a hobby of woodworking and.

Evan (32:14)

Yeah, anything with your hands kind of that teaches like building things. And when you build something kind of from scratch or even with an instruction manual, it's, it's. You're learning so much as you go along. And you know, you might mess up and you might put something in the wrong place or mess something up, but it's all about. It's. Then you, then you kind of take a step back, you problem solve, you learn that as long as you don't freak out and just throw things, like I was prone to doing as a kid. But obviously that's, I'm not proud of it. But, you know, but yeah, doing, doing things like that is really, really important. And you can, you know, legos. I mean, what kid doesn't like Legos? Man, I love Legos and my brother loved legos. Was thing, we go down to the basement, we would just play with Legos for hours. Heck, two summers ago I was like, I was a sophomore in high school and we would have our high school friends over and we would just build legos. Yeah, we're like, dude, let's just build legos. Like, it was awesome.

Melanie Hempe (33:07)

That's a great hobby.

Evan (33:08)

Yeah, it's a good hobby. You never really get too old for legos. There are a lot of grown men that like Legos too. It's just a fun thing to go in the LEGO store, kind of just cruise around.

Melanie Hempe (33:17)

Yeah. Last year we got. Or two years ago we got Andrew, one of those LEGO architecture. Was it the White House?

Evan (33:23)

It was, it was the Capitol building.

Melanie Hempe (33:24)

Oh, the Capitol building. Okay. Yeah, so that was really cool. So Legos has something for everybody. So then you've got like gardening, you got all that hobby, you know, with all the gardening supplies, you got jewelry making. And then the subscription boxes that are out there are really cool. So just keep that in mind when you're thinking about hobbies because even for Andrew, Adam got him a subscription box for his fishing one year.

Evan (33:47)

Mystery tackle box.

Melanie Hempe (33:48)

The mystery tackle box. And so this is really popular and with any hobby. So the fifth category that we want to talk about is strategy and critical thinking, gift ideas. So think about this in terms of strategy games. And I'm not talking about strategy games on, you know, the Internet. I'm talking about handheld type strategy games. And so brain fitness games are very, very good for your child. They give the brain a healthy workout. They're designed to challenge your kid. And then they're also designed to clear his mind and speed up certain areas, thinking areas in his brain, of course, and improve his memory. So more brain pathways are used with 3D play and these strategy games that we're going to talk about than with a digital game. So a lot of people think, well, they can just do these strategy games online. It's not the same. The category of games we like the most for this are three Think Fun games. It's Think fun dot com. You can go and go on Amazon and to our Amazon store and you can find these. But games like Rush Hour, shape by shape, block by block, there's all this. They're little handheld games that are all in a little bag and you can spend hours and hours and hours on these. And they're strategy games. And of course there's Rubik's cubes. And I remember y' all have probably three or four different kinds of Rubik's cubes.

Evan (35:08)

That was a craze in the beginning of middle school. Like you'd bring your Rubik's cube to school and you could solve that. Everyone was like, what? And then you're like, hey, mix up my Rubik's Cube, man. Like, watch me solve this or who wants to time me? It was kind of stuff like that. I, I still don't know how to solve it, but I was the guy who would time the people. That was fun. But Andrew knows how to was really good. And one of my buddies went to a Rubik's cube competition. So we kind of.

Melanie Hempe (35:34)

Oh, oh, that's really funny. Yeah, games like Sellers of Catan to get to Ride, of course. Chess.

Evan (35:41)

Yeah. Great game.

Melanie Hempe (35:42)

Stratego, you know, any puzzle. So strategy is also can be kind of a puzzle too. So we always have a thousand piece puzzle out in our house. And this year we've got a couple Christmas puzzles going. It's always really fun. So you just want to think of strategy games. Again, check out the Think Fun on our Amazon. So the sixth category is reading and writing gift ideas. And you might not think of this as a, as a great category until I sit here and explain it. But of course you know that reading is a value in our home. It, I assume is a value in your home. The statistics show that kids who are reading for pleasure at the age of 15 do better in life in every measure. Not only their academic trajectory, but also just their business life down the road and many, many other areas. And so we want our kids to love to read. And this can be really hard when you, you know, 10 year old kid, you might not have a bunch of books on your Christmas list. Right. Because you want a phone instead. Some of the things that we have in this category are really practical things like even a clip on light for their bed because you want them to read at night. So you want to get them like a book. Light magazine subscriptions fall in this category. Talk a second, Evan, about that. You got Boards Illustrated for Kids.

Evan (37:01)

I think I had that growing up and it was a good bank. It had a lot of these cool like sports articles and about things that you wouldn't necessarily know and these kind of these behind the scenes about these athletes. So they did it. They did a really good job. I think I had that when I was about 9 to when I was about 13. But that was, that was really good for the time. I was always exciting to get the new issue in the mail and kind of have some. It was kind of cool to have it in your name, you know, it feels good to get something in the mail.

Melanie Hempe (37:29)

Yeah.

Evan (37:29)

You know, Evan Hippie. It's not just saying, you know, your mom or dad, you know, you get to actually open that like I don't know.

Melanie Hempe (37:35)

Yeah, I remember that was a big deal.

Evan (37:37)

Yeah, it was a big deal. It was cool.

Melanie Hempe (37:38)

And it got you reading.

Evan (37:39)

Yeah, it got. You got me reading. And of course I was always had kind of a natural inclination to be interested in sports just growing up. So I always loved just kind of learning about all these new athletes and just kind of filing all that away in my brain. But yeah, that was just all that new information was, was, was good for the magazine not too, not too long put it by, you know, your bed and you just read an article like every night or something.

Melanie Hempe (38:05)

But yeah, so other ideas are the who. What. Yeah, was and who was and who was or were or what's the name of those?

Evan (38:12)

Yeah, I mean who was Books. Those are, those are really good because they're, they're not super long. They're written in a way that's not confusing at all. And it's really cool because it's all, it's all historical. I think history is one is, is a really interesting subject to me. Some people, you know, why do we have to learn about history? It already happened. Well, history affects everything that pretty much you do now. Something had to happen in the past or something that happened in the future. So I think there's a lot of, there's, it's. Who else does a really good job about these people who, you know, made an impact in history and who I think kids should learn about. And it's, it's written in an incredible. It's written in a really good way. Does not take long at all to read and just is, is really good. I remember we did in fourth grade at my school, we did a biography project where you could pick a who was book read about that person and then you would dress up as them and you know, do an interview like as if you were that person. It was really cool project. Everyone, everyone loved it. It was, that was, that was really cool. So who was. Yeah, definitely.

Melanie Hempe (39:13)

Yeah, that series. There's over a hundred.

Evan (39:15)

There's tons there. I mean there's, there's, there's what was. There's who was.

Melanie Hempe (39:19)

There's.

Evan (39:19)

When there's kind of all that stuff.

Melanie Hempe (39:21)

Yeah. And so that makes really good gifts. Other things are audiobooks, of course, things like headphones. Hey, how about a library card? That's a great gift. I mean, you know, I remember one year that's what Andrew wanted for Christmas. I want a library card. And we did spend a lot of time in the library. Other things that kind of go in this category. And again we have this in our ebook. Things like diaries and journals, calligraphy, you know, pen sets even. I mean it kind of fits in this category where you're writing, you know, the reading and writing. A lap desk, maybe supplies to write, letters and poems, stationary with their names on it. So all these things are the reading and writing gift ideas in this category. Number six. This is something that we really value in our home. The seventh category is fashion and accessories. So these are all, remember we're talking about all non tech gifts. So when you feel, I think parents feel like, oh, there's nothing for me to give my kid. Everything has to be a screen. You know, I think that you're starting to get the feeling here that we have a lot of ideas. There's a lot of non Tech gift ideas. But. But this fashion and accessories, I, I don't. We don't need to spend a whole lot of time on this. But I remember that y' all growing up just loved your costumes.

Evan (40:35)

Yeah.

Melanie Hempe (40:35)

You know, and you still do, right?

Evan (40:37)

That's true. I mean, it's always kind of been a thing of. You're cool if you wear this or you're cool if you wear that, and not that. That's the end of the world, but.

Melanie Hempe (40:44)

Right.

Evan (40:45)

There's always. There's always. Some people are really into shoes. I myself am not really into that into shoes. But there's that whole sneaker head world where you, you just. Oh, these shoes are really cool. And these, like, they're really popular and so that. Those are. Those are great gifts. Like, oh, man, I got these shoes for Christmas. Oh, that's awesome. Dude. That's great. Sports jerseys are great. Always was cool getting a nice jersey of somebody. Yeah. A nice jacket where. Like a nice winter jacket, especially when you're right in the middle of December. Like, I have this really nice baseball jacket that I wear every day at practice. It's incredible. It's like the greatest thing I've ever gotten. And it was. It was a Christmas gift and it was awesome. But. Yeah. Anything else? Like, even really nice sunglasses for athletes? Oakley sunglasses are awesome. They're. They're a little pricey, but they're incredible. And it's. It's. That'd be a really. That'd be a really great gift, especially if you got a. If you got a baseball player. Definitely know about that. Yeah. Any hats, anything. Like, bathrobes are actually underrated. Bathrobes are like a nice soft Tommy Bahama bathrobe. I will, I will give my props to you. Those are nice. Even toiletries. Like, I'm really into this Soap company called Dr. Squatch. It's. It's incredible. It's a very manly, like, kind of hygiene, higher end product. A lot of my money from working in the summer goes there. But it's. It's great. It's kind of fun to get into that.

Melanie Hempe (42:10)

We do like hygiene.

Evan (42:11)

Yeah, Hygiene is good. Hygiene is recommended good. It's. It's nice to smell good. You don't want to be that guy that, you know, you don't put on nice deodorant and. Or you don't, you know, you don't smell good, you don't wash your hair. But yeah, you know, it's. It's good to be. It's not. Not that weird. You want it you want to, you want to be clean. You want to be stuff like that.

Melanie Hempe (42:28)

So, so other, other things in this category for girls would be, you know, jewelry and purses and hair bows and slippers and scarves and hats and all these things that you can think of. This is not a hard category and it's not that we value all of these logo items, but it is fun once a year to get something that you wouldn't normally just buy with your allowance or whatever. The next category is companion gift ideas. And this is all centered around the idea of pets. And so if you don't have a pet, we highly recommend it screenstorm that you get a pet. And I know that some of y' all are cringing and saying, oh, I don't want the mess and we can't. Whatever. Let me just tell you that a pet is one of the best anecdotes, I guess, to boredom and to this filling downtime. You know, in our home, we mostly have cats. We, we did have a little, a little dog. And she's, she's gone now. She passed away. But research reveals that children raised with pets show many benefits. They provide hours of entertainment for your kids and it also gives them this natural built in chore to take care of them and the responsibility that it takes. And it teaches them all kinds of, you know, empathy and just how to be nice to animals. But we can't. You know, we all have a lot of things listed here, but even like horseback riding lessons, if that's something that your child is interested in, is really cool. Of course you have your dog, you have your cat, you have things like dog training lessons. This is something that a lot of kids have gotten into when they have gone screen strong, when they get off their social media and start trying to do fun things, you know, dog training classes. That's a really good gift. But we recommend a kitty for Christmas, of course. And we don't recommend things that have to be kept in a cage. Now I know that some people really like those, you know, like hamsters and stuff like that. It's not that they're bad, it is just they usually don't get played with as much. So, you know, pets, there's not so

Evan (44:32)

much, there's not as much you can do. You can't like snuggle a hamster.

Melanie Hempe (44:36)

That's right. That's right. But our pets are really important. And so think about this as the, the gift of companionship. The ninth category is the gift of indoor family competition. And these are things like board games. So we have too many here to just mention them all. But some of the things for our family that have become pretty important. We early on used to keep Bananagrams out on the table all the time. And that was really fun just to pick up. It's kind of like Scrabble. You pick up a handful of tiles and you can just kind of make words out of that. Pictionary is really fun. We already mentioned Sellers of Catan, of course. Monopoly. That's something classic. Yeah. That you enjoy.

Evan (45:18)

You need to, you need, you got to have Monopoly.

Melanie Hempe (45:20)

Chess is always something that can be set up in your home. Any kind of trivia is good. We love Clue. Clue is a super easy game to learn. Going to an escape room is a very fun gift for a family to do for Christmas. There are other games. There's a ton of card games. What were we just playing with? With Uncle Carl?

Evan (45:42)

Oh, heads up, Heads up.

Melanie Hempe (45:44)

So talk about that game.

Evan (45:45)

Yeah, I mean that's just a game where you get clues. Yeah, you get, you get, you get a category and you put it facing out on your head so you can't see it and everyone in the, in the, in the group tries to describe it to you. It's kind of like charade or.

Melanie Hempe (45:59)

No, it's a little bit like charade. Yeah, it's a little bit.

Evan (46:01)

Yeah, it's fun game. And you know, if you play with funny people.

Melanie Hempe (46:04)

Yeah.

Evan (46:05)

Like Uncle Carl, then.

Melanie Hempe (46:06)

Yeah, it's pretty funny then. That's pretty funny.

Evan (46:08)

Yeah.

Melanie Hempe (46:09)

And I think one of our favorite games is telestration.

Evan (46:12)

That's a good one.

Melanie Hempe (46:13)

So it's a fantastic game. That's where you pass around and you've got. You gotta draw.

Evan (46:17)

You draw and guess and draw and guess and it's pretty hilarious.

Melanie Hempe (46:20)

Yeah. And then by the time it gets around to the fifth, fifth or sixth person, the drawing is so funny and you can't tell what it is.

Evan (46:25)

Yeah, it's more funny when, when you don't try as hard. If you try to make it more ridiculous, it's pretty funny. I usually like you. You want to make, you want to draw something so bad that's really funny and that the person can't guess. Like if you played with a bunch of really arts, like really people who are really good at drawing, maybe fine. It would just be like, oh, okay, yeah, we got the word.

Melanie Hempe (46:47)

But most of us can't draw.

Evan (46:48)

Yeah, no, most of us can't draw. And you're with like expo markers and stuff. Stuff like that. So it's fun. And you know, you get to laugh at me for how bad my drawing is.

Melanie Hempe (46:57)

But, you know, we love telestrations, and that can go for kind of any age. And it's really, really fun. It's a real bonding kind of thing. So our next category is outdoor family fun and attachment ideas. And so this category is really important to me because I feel like, you know, attachment is what we're missing in our culture, that everybody's so lonely and detached and often their own little rooms on their screens and stuff. So we want to just talk a minute about things that happen when you give these outdoor prompts. You know, I think the biggest thing off the top of my head is our fire pit. Like, we. We did that one year, and that's so fun because it's just so fun to have a place to go in the backyard, you know, build a fire. And, you know, fires are just calming, and, like, everybody can talk, and it's just really fun. And I think for teenagers especially, it's really fun. Me, little kids, it's fun, too, and they can roast their marshmallows. So that's an example of a gift of outdoor family fun. So what are some other examples?

Evan (47:59)

Biking as a family is really fun. Where we live in Charlotte, there's a lot of trails around that are specifically paved by the government to get people out and get people biking. We would always. We would do that all the time. Just kind of bonding and then learning the skill. Of course, riding a bike. Going camping. Going camping is. Is great because you just, you know, it's just kind of being out there and not everything goes right. And, you know, it might rain, but, you know, you have that. You have the. You have so many stories from camping. People go camping all the time with the best stories. Oh, I saw this in the mountains or I saw that in the mountains, or we forgot to bring this so we were really hungry or something.

Melanie Hempe (48:37)

It's just.

Evan (48:37)

It's just funny and gambing. It's good. It's. It's. You're. You're outdoors, and it's just. It's a. It's a really cool change of scene. So. Yeah, things like day trips. Yeah, day trips to something nearby, depending on where you live. We're kind of fortunate enough to where we could take a day trip to the beach or the mountains. Right. Because that's true. Which is.

Melanie Hempe (48:57)

It's within a. Yeah, easy drive.

Evan (48:59)

Yeah, easy drive. Either way.

Melanie Hempe (49:01)

But some other things, like, in this category would include, like, sledding, you know, or tubing, rafting. Those types of family bonding experiences. And you could get a zip line in your backyard. That's a fun thing to do to get everybody out in the yard. Of course, we mentioned the fire pit. In this category, we would put things like tickets to an outdoor play or tickets to a concert. These are all sort of out of the house. You know, just get out of the house and do some family things together. So it could be movies. Like we try to go see a movie over Christmas. When all of our families here, we pick a movie, we go out and see a movie. The other thing, tickets to either a football game.

Evan (49:40)

Yeah, I mean, yeah, just tickets to a sporting event or anything is. Is really fun. Just kind of going in, like to. We had this past year, I went to a lot of college football games. It was just. It's just, it's just a lot of fun. I mean, it's really cool. There's something special about being actually at the thing. Instead of watching on TV or even a concert, like listening to it online. There's something really cool just being with everybody, just having, having a really good time. It's, it's. It's pretty special.

Melanie Hempe (50:07)

And that falls, that falls a little bit more into the category of experiences that we're going to wrap up with. But before we get to that one, let's look at the second to the last category. And that is gift ideas for acts of empathy. And so what I mean by this, and we, again, we have this all outlined in our book, is things that you do for your kids. So it could be that you decide to paint their room or even allow them to decorate their. Their room. Things that are. That you are showing them traditions. You know, maybe you make them their favorite meal or make a favorite dessert. That's a gift of empathy. Maybe you write a letter to your child. I think this is the category that this falls in. Every year at Christmas, maybe mom and dad sit down and write a letter. I know some families that do this and they, they have a journal book and every year they write a letter to their kids. And I think this is a fascinating idea. So the end with, they go off to college, they have all these letters from their parents. You might say, you know, you might offer to play their favorite board game with them or just spend time with his sport. Even when you're busy. Maybe you help your teen fix or wash their car. Maybe you help them fix their bike. Something that you're giving your time to show them that you love them. Just think about empathy as one of the values in Your home. And how are you going to gift that to your kids? The final category is the gift of time with your kids. And a lot of families now really spend most of their gift budget on experiences. And this might be a trip, it might be getting on an airplane, you know, Christmas, we're going to take a trip. This is probably the most valuable gift when I look at all of these categories. It's the gift of your uninterrupted time. And it does not include technology. I mean, it might include watching a sports thing on tv, but it doesn't include playing video games with them. It doesn't include a phone. We need to think about this a little bit more as parents. We need to figure out how much time are we really spending with our kids. And this is, this is a thing that sometime it costs money, but a lot of times it doesn't. So it could be like a coupon book for certain fun outings that you might do. Some of the things we were just talking about, even if you just go out with your child on a one, on one, one on one dinner, just with each child, maybe it's a trip to the bookstore, give them a budget and say, hey, let's go to the bookstore. Your gift includes, you know, $40 and you can pick out some books that you like and reading a book together, cooking something together. Evan already mentioned fishing, you mentioned camping, planting a garden together. Just doing something as an experience. Of course, these are all the big trips too and like the football games and stuff. But building something together, anything that you can do to enhance your non tech time with your kids.

Evan (52:58)

As a kid, you might not realize how valuable or important the gift is. You might realize, you might not appreciate it at first, but then look back and like, man, that was an incredible gift. And so that's, that's pretty cool. So as a parent, just if the kid doesn't take to it like loving it right away, if they're still disappointed that they're. They didn't get a phone, I mean, that's okay. There's, there's no, there's there, you know better than they do what is important in life. And so just kind of stick, stick with what you gave them and then, and let them. They'll come around. They, they'll, they'll come around, they'll realize what's important and they'll realize that they actually enjoy doing things rather, and having something to show for it rather than just sitting on Instagram for two hours or because you got nothing to show for that. I Think we. We pretty much.

Melanie Hempe (53:42)

I think we covered. I think when I came back on some of our. Our favorite things. I remember the street hockey thing was really fun because you immediately ran outside and you spent hours and hours and hours, you know, with that. I think the other gifts, basketball hoops. You know, when I think about that, I mean, I think even boys, girls, it doesn't matter. You should have a basketball hoop in your driveway. If you don't have one, make that a family gift. This. This Christmas, and we do the basketball hoops over the door. And if you've listened to me for any length of time, you've heard me talk about it, but I will continue to just say that basketball hoop saved our life so many times.

Evan (54:15)

The indoor one.

Melanie Hempe (54:16)

Yeah, the indoor. Yeah. And in the piano, I think that was probably on our top five. The gifts of experiences together also are in the top five. But I will just end and say, and I will totally reiterate what Evan just said, that you do not need to give your child any kind of phone. Even a top text phone. No phone needs to be a gift that is not a gift. That is not a toy. That is a tool. We are giving you all kinds of permission to just say no to the smartphone and even. Even, like I said, even to the top textman. That doesn't need to be a Christmas gift. So, Evan, thank you so much.

Evan (54:53)

I enjoyed it. Thank you for having me jumping in

Melanie Hempe (54:55)

here today with me. I appreciate it. We always love it when you and Andrew come on and talk about your screen. Strong experience. Actually, can you give a word of encouragement to the kids out there that. That are like, what, I'm not gonna get a phone for Christmas this year. I know you've already kind of touched on it, but just give them a final word of encouragement.

Evan (55:18)

Your life is not over. There will be good things that come out of being different. These gifts, these alternative gifts will give you will equip you with a better arsenal of skills that will. That you'll realize are very respected and valued in your future. They might not be cool now, but if you just keep working at music or doing something, people have respect for people who have different talents. If you're really good at music, people think that's really cool. They just. They do. That's awesome. Because not everyone does that. But if you just get a phone, then everyone does that, and you're not. You don't have any talent on that phone. That's special. I promise you, if you do things like piano, if you work really hard at A sport if you really good at, I don't know what, whatever it is, benchmaking, I don't know, woodworking, then that's really cool. People have a lot of respect for that. If you're in middle school, you're, you're in the, you're in the rough, you're in the rough period. But I mean we all, we all go through it and so don't be afraid to, you know, go, go to an art class. Don't be afraid to, or even doing things with friends, doing art with friends, doing music with friends is so fun. You might, you might both be like, oh, this is stupid at first, but then you realize, you know, you're with each other and you're, and you know, you're just, you're, you're learning together and there's, there's something that, you know, a phone can't substitute that. And you'll also be fine without video games. Dive into other fun things when you're a kid. You'll be so much happier. Remember so much more of these experiences that you have just with your friends and just, just living life. And I feel that just playing video games all the time is, you're just, you're just missing out on so much and it's so sad because so many parents don't realize that. So don't let your kid miss out. Let your kid do things and have memories to share in the future. That's just kind of the word of encouragement to if you're a kid out there. I, I know I've been in your shoes. I was a middle schooler who didn't get a phone once too. I, I'm so glad that I did not. And you might not thank your parents now, but you will later. So that's just, that's just my two cents.

Melanie Hempe (57:17)

But that's great encouragement. Thank you so much. And for all the parents out there, just take it one Christmas at a time, right? And don't worry about down the road and what if. And they're going to hate me and all this. It's not true. They're not going to hate you. You're going to have a great Christmas this year with non tech gifts. We promise. We promise. Evan, thank you so much for coming and we look forward to having you back again. I hope you everyone enjoyed listening today. This is a very practical show. Please share this with your friends. And remember we do have a lot on our website. We have our parent online course for you, the Screenstrong lifestyle course. And we're there for you on our site and in our Facebook group. And you can of course email us@team screenstrong.com if you have more questions. You want to get support from like minded people around you, so tell your friends. Your homework is to tell your friends about Screenstrong and to get at them to subscribe to this podcast. And your homework is also to make your list of Christmas gifts using these categories that we talked about and not. And it just. It just gives you, as a parent, just a another way to creatively kind of stimulate your ideas as well. Just to use these categories and not fall into the trap of thinking that technology is the only way to go for Christmas. Remember, we've got your back and we are here to help you figure all the screen stuff out. So until next time, stand up for your kids, stand out from the crowd, and stay strong.