ScreenStrong Families Podcast, Ep. 153

The Five Benefits of Going ScreenStrong with LaNissa Davison
Host: Melanie Hempe, BSN
Guest: LaNissa Davison
Date: May 31, 2023

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and practical episode, host Melanie Hempe sits down with fellow mom and nurse LaNissa Davison, who shares her family's recent journey of going "ScreenStrong"—removing addictive screens, especially video games, from their home. The pair break down the top five (plus!) benefits LaNissa witnessed within just a year of change, discussing creativity, communication, physical and emotional health, family connection, and giving children a richer, more memorable childhood. This episode serves as a mix of encouragement, science, and real-life strategies for parents ready to take the 30-day challenge and reduce toxic screen time.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Shattering the Fear: "My Kids Will Hate Me"

• Main theme: Many parents worry their children will hate them if they take away video games or phones. Melanie addresses this head-on:

  "Your children are not going to hate you when you do good things for them. But I know it's a fearful thing... it's a fear that you need to just leave at the kitchen table." (04:03)

• LaNissa admits she feared her son might resent her, but realized that being a “coach” means leading him to a better life, not just giving in.

  "I wasn't going to get on his emotional roller coaster ride. I was going to stand strong with what I believe." (15:06)

LaNissa's Story: Background & Starting the Journey

• LaNissa’s son got an Xbox at 8; by the following year, his grades and mood suffered.
• She discovered ScreenStrong and, inspired by both Melanie’s and her own nursing background, felt empowered to stop gaming in their house.
• Instead of camps, LaNissa planned a summer packed with simple, screen-free activities for her four kids, capturing daily memories with photos.

  "I decided I'm going to fill up this calendar every day with something, even if it's as simple as, today we are going to go find a honeysuckle and we are going to taste it." (06:33)

The Five (Plus) Benefits of Going ScreenStrong

1. Creativity Blossoming ([09:54]–[15:30])

• Without screen time, her children found fulfillment in arts, crafts, and making up games.
• Example: Leaving markers and poster boards out sparked hours of independent artistic play.
• At the beach, instead of wanting to rush back to the Xbox, the kids created their own carnival games and ticket systems.

  "They just spent hours and hours just redrawing on these poster boards." (11:26)

• Memorable moment: Children inventing elaborate yard games at the beach, turning it into a bonding family carnival.

  "It was such a bonding experience for us. And you know, my son got to see that I can actually throw a football!" (13:28)

2. Better Communication and Sibling Bonds ([16:01]–[19:26])

• Family discussions and genuine conversations increased instantly.

  "Oh my gosh, this kid could talk. I did not know that little boys talk so much." (16:01)

• Cards with questions left on the table encouraged spontaneous conversations.
• Sibling relationships deepened, with learning about boundaries and resolving conflicts together at the dinner table.
• Melanie notes that parents often discover their children want to talk, unpack their days, and build trust—if given the space.

  "There's white space in your margins of your life, and it's not being filled with the entertainment screen time." (18:11)

3. Improved Physical Health and Sleep ([19:26]–[22:00])

• More time spent outdoors resulted in better sleep, healthier eating, and increased physical activity.

  "My goal every day is to make sure that they are exhausted by dinner time." (19:50)

• Notably, LaNissa mentions the importance of testosterone and how activity boosts it, whereas gaming diminishes these vital developmental hormones—an often overlooked effect.

  "I noticed that if my children sleep well, then they do better at school. So behaviorally, you know, so..." (21:44)

• Melanie adds: "I became the sleep police after I retired from being the gamecop mom." (21:44)

4. Developing Real Emotional Intelligence ([22:12]–[26:55])

• Before, gaming was used to "numb out" after tough days, preventing children from learning healthy emotional coping.
• Now, LaNissa teaches her son to process emotions: "You're going to go in the backfield and you're going to scream as loud as you can and you're going to see if that's going to make you feel better." (23:09)
• Melanie explains the neuroscience: constant gaming over-activates and then burns out the amygdala, numbing emotions instead of developing regulation.

  "Emotional intelligence is more important than academic intelligence." (26:15)

• Concrete tips: Consider a punching bag or other physical outlets.

5. Deepened Family Connection ([27:18]–[35:19])

• Investing in relationships became central: bonfires, baking, foosball, family movies, nightly read-alouds.

  "We bought the bonfire, we do the fire pit, we bake cookies, we've gone bowling, skating..." (27:31)

• The family read-aloud routine (20 minutes every night with her sons) became a transformative bonding experience—for both the kids and for LaNissa herself.

  "I just didn't know that I needed that. I honestly did not know how much I needed that." (31:41)

• Replacing negative interactions ("time to get off the screen") with positive ones ("come for dinner") changes the emotional association children have with parents' voices.

  "It's not a negative emotion anymore." (30:09)

• Their home became the neighborhood gathering spot for fun, screen-free play.

6. Richer, Happier Childhood Memories and Resilience ([36:35]–[41:00])

• Kids aren’t bored as often—and boredom, when it happens, is now treated as beneficial for brain development.

  "I will tell you this. I heard 'I'm bored' more when they were playing video games than I do now." (36:56)

• Experiences like exploring parks, experimenting with nature (e.g., lily pads), and spontaneous skim boarding during floods are now family stories.

  "Nothing could please him or reward him the way that the video game [did]." (39:55)

Key Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On parents' fear:
  "To say that your kids are going to hate you is very strong. It is a fear that you need to just leave at the kitchen table right now. Your children are not going to hate you when you do good things for them." —Melanie (04:03)

• On creative play:
  "They just spent hours and hours just redrawing on these poster boards." —LaNissa (11:26)

• On communication:
  "Oh my gosh, this kid could talk. I did not know that little boys talk so much." —LaNissa (16:01)

• On emotional numbing:
  "Whenever they were mad or sad or bored or they were tired, instead of actually sitting there with the feeling and figuring out how to work through it, they would just get on their game and they would numb out." —LaNissa (22:31)

• On giving permission:
  "You are the one who gave me permission that it's okay for us not to do this." —LaNissa (43:23)

• On the 30-day challenge:
  "Just take the video games and put it all in a box... take that 30 days. Fill the 30 days with things that can bond your family and can bond the friends together... I promise you, you will start to see these things in your child also." —LaNissa (42:18)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:03] — Melanie addresses the popular parental fear of being hated if screens are removed
• [06:33] — LaNissa explains starting the ScreenStrong journey, planning a screen-free summer
• [09:54]–[15:30] — First benefit: Creativity and imagination return in daily life
• [16:01]–[19:26] — Second benefit: Communication explodes within the family
• [19:26]–[22:00] — Third benefit: Improved physical health and sleep
• [22:12]–[26:55] — Fourth benefit: Emotional self-regulation and intelligence develop
• [27:18]–[35:19] — Fifth benefit: Family connection and togetherness thrive
• [36:35]–[41:00] — Sixth benefit: Happier, richer childhood, boredom becomes beneficial
• [41:42]–[43:15] — LaNissa's advice: Take the 30-day challenge, don't be afraid

Practical Tips & Encouragement

• Be a coach, not a friend: Guide your child's experience for their own good.
• Plan ahead for boredom: Have art supplies, physical games, and outdoor adventures ready.
• Let communication emerge: White space, not screens, fills family life with conversations and connections.
• Expect discomfort at first: The shift away from screens can be rocky but is temporary.
• Document the journey: Take pictures, make albums, and create visible family memories.
• Take the challenge: Try a 30-day full detox of addictive screens—you’ll likely never go back.

Closing Motivation

"It does take 30 days. Just try it for 30 days and then do another 30 days after that. And then you keep going and you will never look back. And I promise that this fear of your kids not liking you will vanish. It will just evaporate." —Melanie (44:00)

LaNissa and Melanie’s honest, actionable advice and open sharing invite every parent to consider the profound, evidence-backed benefits of going ScreenStrong—not just for kids, but for the whole family’s relationships, health, and lifelong memories.

For More Support:

• Visit ScreenStrong Website for resources, courses, and support groups
• Email questions to team@screenstrong.com
• Join the free Connect group or the ScreenStrong Families Facebook group